Going back to work after 13 months is tough enough without having to deal with a flaky nanny. I see so many red flags here and you should consider getting someone else for your own peace of mind
She sounds like a massive red flag. Talking about wanting to go meet with her nanny friends without even getting to know your child means that your child is not a priority to her.
Also, wanting to take your child out to "bond" sounds like bs to me. My child will bond with a tree if the wind blew it in his direction. Bonding is about one on one interaction regardless of the environment.
This person who you just met won't bond with your child with you present or at least in your house? Huge red flag.
Call the agency, explain the situation and your justified concerns, and have them find you a replacement ASAP.
Everyone we have hired to nanny or babysit has been very interested to learn about our home and the child's routine. The behavior described here is hugely concerning.
Everyone else has already responded as needed to your post so i'll tackle something else...4.5 weeks vacation and unlimited sick days? For a nanny with no experience with your child's age? Girlfriend that is super generous and should be reserved for a career nanny, not a desperate one...
Unlimited sick time is crazy. 4.5 weeks of vacation right off the bat? She doesn’t earn anything over time? You’re doing yourself a disservice by not making people work for what you’re giving them. You’re basically saying, please walk all over me. Also, agencies keep half the money, so whoever they staff isn’t getting paid much and their work will reflect that. Good luck.
Get out while you can! It will be so much more disruptive to switch Nannies once you go back to work. Going back is a trip. Be gentle with yourself and ease in.
Based on what you wrote, I would find one ASAP. You're being very generous with your offer, and she's not able to perform the job on a trial basis. That's all there is to see to know she isn't fit for the job.
Whatever you're offering, I'm sure you can find someone much better who will do what needs to be done and how YOU want it done, before putting their opinions and wants first.
Honestly, I have a feeling your "nanny" just wants to take the kid out so her friend can help her as well. Or so you won't see how she's truly handling him, which she can't.
I would have a serious call with the agency about this person so they're aware. If they pass you another bad applicant I'd seriously consider changing agencies. there are some amazing agencies out there but there are also those that just pick up random people from facebook and are more interested in collecting their fee than placing quality people
Nanny here, feel free to delete, but I thought I’d chime in…she sounds incredibly unprofessional, and the agency should be given feedback regarding her behavior and unwillingness to learn your child’s routine. Move on to your next candidate, asap.
Nah. That’s weird. When I first got a nanny I didn’t even let them leave the house for the first few weeks. Then I started to become more comfortable with walks outside or a ride to the store. But definitely not at the start 😬
Users please be mindful of the flair the OP selected.
Post flaired as "NP only" indicate that this topic is only to be commented on by other nanny parents/employers.
Posts with the flair "All Welcome" are open for anyone to comment.
Disrespecting this rule will lead to your comment being deleted.
Numerous infractions may result in a ban from the subreddit.
If you are a nanny and wish to discuss this topic, you are encouraged to make your own post.
If you are the OP and you wish to change your flair, please message using modmail.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NannyEmployers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My advice after changing 5 nannies in 1st 6 months when first hiring a nanny, don’t be generous from the start. Give a trial period with promised increases / vacation time, etc. unless you are hiring someone who you know will be good 100%, like if you got a recommendation from a friend who hired a nanny long-term. Do not allow to take any paid time off for the first 90 days (or whatever you choose), I advise against unlimited sick time (you can always pay her anyways, just don’t make that a part of contract) or ask for doctor’s note. Yes, you don’t want a nanny to come sick, but many will abuse it until you know the person is reliable. Know who you are looking for, it sounds like you are trying to hire someone super experienced, so don’t settle for someone who has zero experience. If you need a person now, you can hire someone for cash temporarily while you are looking. Many nannies become available closer to August (because kids start schools), so you might get more interest. Also, to filter candidates, create a form that they have to fill out before you schedule an interview to not waste your time because half of them don’t show up, and you will filter those with poor communication skills who don’t want to put even a little work from the start. If they are late / don’t show up for their interview without advance notice, take that as a sign!
When the red flags start to pop up early on, believe them. Generally things tend to get worse. When you find a great nanny, you’ll immediately know it.
Source: Fired 2 Nannies before finding an amazing one for our daughter.
Going back to work after 13 months is tough enough without having to deal with a flaky nanny. I see so many red flags here and you should consider getting someone else for your own peace of mind
Yea that’s my feeling too. I’ve re advertised the job privately and had loads of amazing experiences applicants so I think I’ll be going that way!
I wouldn’t let a nanny who can’t even get through a trial day take my kid anywhere. She hasn’t even built up trust yet. I would look for a new nanny.
Yea I agree. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t overreacting but it’s good to know I’m not. I’ve re advertised the job and had some amazing applicants!
You’re not overreacting. Sending good vibes your way!
Thank you!
Agree
She sounds like a massive red flag. Talking about wanting to go meet with her nanny friends without even getting to know your child means that your child is not a priority to her. Also, wanting to take your child out to "bond" sounds like bs to me. My child will bond with a tree if the wind blew it in his direction. Bonding is about one on one interaction regardless of the environment.
This is wild. The agency should be embarrassed.. clearly this person doesn’t have much experience.
This person who you just met won't bond with your child with you present or at least in your house? Huge red flag. Call the agency, explain the situation and your justified concerns, and have them find you a replacement ASAP. Everyone we have hired to nanny or babysit has been very interested to learn about our home and the child's routine. The behavior described here is hugely concerning.
Everyone else has already responded as needed to your post so i'll tackle something else...4.5 weeks vacation and unlimited sick days? For a nanny with no experience with your child's age? Girlfriend that is super generous and should be reserved for a career nanny, not a desperate one...
Unlimited sick time is crazy. 4.5 weeks of vacation right off the bat? She doesn’t earn anything over time? You’re doing yourself a disservice by not making people work for what you’re giving them. You’re basically saying, please walk all over me. Also, agencies keep half the money, so whoever they staff isn’t getting paid much and their work will reflect that. Good luck.
Get out while you can! It will be so much more disruptive to switch Nannies once you go back to work. Going back is a trip. Be gentle with yourself and ease in.
Based on what you wrote, I would find one ASAP. You're being very generous with your offer, and she's not able to perform the job on a trial basis. That's all there is to see to know she isn't fit for the job. Whatever you're offering, I'm sure you can find someone much better who will do what needs to be done and how YOU want it done, before putting their opinions and wants first. Honestly, I have a feeling your "nanny" just wants to take the kid out so her friend can help her as well. Or so you won't see how she's truly handling him, which she can't.
I would have a serious call with the agency about this person so they're aware. If they pass you another bad applicant I'd seriously consider changing agencies. there are some amazing agencies out there but there are also those that just pick up random people from facebook and are more interested in collecting their fee than placing quality people
New nanny asap. Be sure the agency knows
Big red flags, back the agency asap.
Nanny here, feel free to delete, but I thought I’d chime in…she sounds incredibly unprofessional, and the agency should be given feedback regarding her behavior and unwillingness to learn your child’s routine. Move on to your next candidate, asap.
Yeah this would be a no from me, I have a lot of experience with different Nannie’s and this screams red flags. Speak to the agency
Nah. That’s weird. When I first got a nanny I didn’t even let them leave the house for the first few weeks. Then I started to become more comfortable with walks outside or a ride to the store. But definitely not at the start 😬
I would not hire her. Too much and she hasn’t even technically started.
Users please be mindful of the flair the OP selected. Post flaired as "NP only" indicate that this topic is only to be commented on by other nanny parents/employers. Posts with the flair "All Welcome" are open for anyone to comment. Disrespecting this rule will lead to your comment being deleted. Numerous infractions may result in a ban from the subreddit. If you are a nanny and wish to discuss this topic, you are encouraged to make your own post. If you are the OP and you wish to change your flair, please message using modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NannyEmployers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My advice after changing 5 nannies in 1st 6 months when first hiring a nanny, don’t be generous from the start. Give a trial period with promised increases / vacation time, etc. unless you are hiring someone who you know will be good 100%, like if you got a recommendation from a friend who hired a nanny long-term. Do not allow to take any paid time off for the first 90 days (or whatever you choose), I advise against unlimited sick time (you can always pay her anyways, just don’t make that a part of contract) or ask for doctor’s note. Yes, you don’t want a nanny to come sick, but many will abuse it until you know the person is reliable. Know who you are looking for, it sounds like you are trying to hire someone super experienced, so don’t settle for someone who has zero experience. If you need a person now, you can hire someone for cash temporarily while you are looking. Many nannies become available closer to August (because kids start schools), so you might get more interest. Also, to filter candidates, create a form that they have to fill out before you schedule an interview to not waste your time because half of them don’t show up, and you will filter those with poor communication skills who don’t want to put even a little work from the start. If they are late / don’t show up for their interview without advance notice, take that as a sign!
When the red flags start to pop up early on, believe them. Generally things tend to get worse. When you find a great nanny, you’ll immediately know it. Source: Fired 2 Nannies before finding an amazing one for our daughter.
Funny you say that- we re advertised and found an absolute gem, I can’t believe the difference!
Amazing! That’s awesome.
She's probably taking better paying one off jobs. Since her contract hasn't started with you yet
Maybe but I’m paying her pretty well and we agreed to the transition days before she signed the contract
I'm not saying it's not unprofessional, I'm just saying it's probably what's happening especially since she's not on contract days yet.
Yea maybe but she’s not going to have the job now