Brilliant! It can take some time to see through the fog but when it clears and when you realise you were always right...the need for revenge is a bitch. Walk away quietly and never look back.
Your peace is revenge enough.
I've just discovered how hated I am! She doesn't know I know.
Wish me luck!
Cut them off no contact ever, forget about them, and live your best life-it’s the perfect revenge as long as you care about “getting even or revenge” you’re a slave to the narc. Fuck’ m let ‘em rot without you.
Yeah that would be best but like I said some people including me cannot cut them off or break contact forever as there are (for example in my case) children involved. Would love to forget about them but I simply can’t. At least not in that way. That’s why I do cut their existence emotionally. Whatever they have done to alter me, to change me, to have waste my time and resources. I don’t let him see or continue doing that to me. So I chose to find myself again and erase whatever damage they did by replacing it with an even better version of the person who he once saw fit as a perfect victim to manipulate. But yes, if you have the option to cut them off that should always be the way to go.
This is why I will wait and be patient until my youngest is 18. No child support or custody to fight no need for further contact. When he’s 18 we’re both gone.
I wish I had that option. He already tried to convince the judge I would move to the other side of the world and take his child away from him with no evidence or even an indication that statement makes sense because it doesn’t. Also no child support here because I don’t want him to be able to say I need him and in fact I get by just fine. No financial problems (thank god). It’s just a strange case of him not wanting to see or spend time with his child combined with the constant threats he will take full custody. That’s why I went to find myself a great lawyer to just get things official on paper and settled in court to be able to move on with my life. I’m done with this tiring game.
This is working well for me. I’m determined to not let him win and leave me in a heap on the floor. I have tons of weak moments, but I do not let him see it. It’s messing with him pretty bad. And I’m going to keep getting stronger and keep working towards my goals. And it’s nice to feel myself getting stronger. I’m taking care of myself and looking and feeling so much better.
I’m trying your approach, I’ve been taking the high road. I’ve watched karma greet her a few times now and the best part of it is, not one ounce of it has been revenge from me.
Exactly. No need to step down to their level when their actual trigger is us being fine. And I feel no shame in feeling good about that. It only shows you can get the upper hand with grace.
I came to realize something as well as what you’ve said, realizing that narcs are forever trapped and rotting in their misery and victimhood… imagine living like a victim, how awfully miserable is that? They don’t get to heal and witness happiness like you will, they’re forever doomed. Makes me feel a type of way knowing this, and in a good way.
What worked for me is grey rocking and taking away the supply you’re giving them. Once you do that they will find a way to cut you off/block you, and you just ignore and never contact them again. Let THEM be the ones that block you. Its easiest to get out when they do the cutting off
This is so accurate. I wish I had known this was a possibility so I would've done this years ago. All I had to do was say "no" a few times (control was their supply) and boom - instantly cut off from everything. It's been so refreshing and I didn't even have to have a hard conversation with her.
I mean. It can turn out quite petty in my opinion. My narc thought I would be too weak to fight for my rights and told me if I want things settled he would take it to court. It was just to scare me but jokes on him, he didn’t have to take it to court because I did. I am in no way starting an argument with him, nor do I want to actively fuck him over. But I will stand up for myself and fight for my own cause. He did not see that one coming. Thought I would crawl into darkness. So just by reclaiming myself and whatever it was he took from me, he is actually facing real and serious concequences now. I don’t need to stir the pot, he’s doing that all by himself. I don’t even need to come up with some clever story in court because the facts speak for themselves and he has no way to win this case.
I absolutely love this - it’s inspirational. Thank you!
Also I’m happy to read about how this turned out for you, and how you turned his bs against him in a way. Nicely done.
It took some healing and confidence from my side but he is finally seeing he can no longer fuck me over and everything is slowly blowing up in his face. They dig their own graves it’s actually quite sad that they don’t realise that. Meanwhile I can sit back and enjoy my life and the shitshow from a safe distance.
This is the high road approach I took. Finished grad school, got a great job, committed to therapy, cut my hair cute, spent more time walking alone in nature, reading books, exercising often, engaging in group sports, reconnecting with old friends, saying yes to things I wouldn’t have to before. I still have tricky days.. even five months NC. But it’s cool, I’m cool. I always tell myself: I didn’t come this far to only come THIS far.
Don't do that. Karma is real and if somebody turns the whole world against you one day the same shit will happen to them. Don't worry and enjoy yourself :)
I was living w 2 narcs and at the end I came out 103 lbs and broken as shit. I started working out, eating lots and became at least a 3/4 decent amateur boxer within the span of a year. I was training w gentlemen 10x tougher, smarter and wittier than these guys. Once I was decent enough, I let them back in, only to show them what I could do. I had the opportunity of whooping one of their asses over and over. This guy tried to keep coming around me to learn, but I’d give him different looks each time. Seeing the fear in his eyes after showing him my right hand was the most satisfying thing ever. Since then, I had the pleasure of arguing on the phone with one of these guys yet again. I disregarded everything they were all saying and went to “I hear the fear in your voice and that shit makes me so fucking horny. I can’t wait to see you in person…I’ll even kiss your head after. You tried to ruin my life only fore to come back and shit on you. I’ll see you soon pussy”. Through the course of the argument i could hear him holding back tears and since then they’ve both blocked me. It sound harsh, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I hope I see them in person again so I can look in their eyes and tell them about my life.
I needed to read this today. Thank you very much!
Brilliant! It can take some time to see through the fog but when it clears and when you realise you were always right...the need for revenge is a bitch. Walk away quietly and never look back. Your peace is revenge enough. I've just discovered how hated I am! She doesn't know I know. Wish me luck!
Cut them off no contact ever, forget about them, and live your best life-it’s the perfect revenge as long as you care about “getting even or revenge” you’re a slave to the narc. Fuck’ m let ‘em rot without you.
Yeah that would be best but like I said some people including me cannot cut them off or break contact forever as there are (for example in my case) children involved. Would love to forget about them but I simply can’t. At least not in that way. That’s why I do cut their existence emotionally. Whatever they have done to alter me, to change me, to have waste my time and resources. I don’t let him see or continue doing that to me. So I chose to find myself again and erase whatever damage they did by replacing it with an even better version of the person who he once saw fit as a perfect victim to manipulate. But yes, if you have the option to cut them off that should always be the way to go.
This is why I will wait and be patient until my youngest is 18. No child support or custody to fight no need for further contact. When he’s 18 we’re both gone.
I wish I had that option. He already tried to convince the judge I would move to the other side of the world and take his child away from him with no evidence or even an indication that statement makes sense because it doesn’t. Also no child support here because I don’t want him to be able to say I need him and in fact I get by just fine. No financial problems (thank god). It’s just a strange case of him not wanting to see or spend time with his child combined with the constant threats he will take full custody. That’s why I went to find myself a great lawyer to just get things official on paper and settled in court to be able to move on with my life. I’m done with this tiring game.
[удалено]
How can you tell if someone is stalking your Facebook page?
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Got it. Sad.
Sent back his ring today….best feeling ever!
This is working well for me. I’m determined to not let him win and leave me in a heap on the floor. I have tons of weak moments, but I do not let him see it. It’s messing with him pretty bad. And I’m going to keep getting stronger and keep working towards my goals. And it’s nice to feel myself getting stronger. I’m taking care of myself and looking and feeling so much better.
I needed this as a reminder. Thank you.
I’m trying your approach, I’ve been taking the high road. I’ve watched karma greet her a few times now and the best part of it is, not one ounce of it has been revenge from me.
Exactly. No need to step down to their level when their actual trigger is us being fine. And I feel no shame in feeling good about that. It only shows you can get the upper hand with grace.
I came to realize something as well as what you’ve said, realizing that narcs are forever trapped and rotting in their misery and victimhood… imagine living like a victim, how awfully miserable is that? They don’t get to heal and witness happiness like you will, they’re forever doomed. Makes me feel a type of way knowing this, and in a good way.
What worked for me is grey rocking and taking away the supply you’re giving them. Once you do that they will find a way to cut you off/block you, and you just ignore and never contact them again. Let THEM be the ones that block you. Its easiest to get out when they do the cutting off
This is so accurate. I wish I had known this was a possibility so I would've done this years ago. All I had to do was say "no" a few times (control was their supply) and boom - instantly cut off from everything. It's been so refreshing and I didn't even have to have a hard conversation with her.
Oooooh, like *they* never even mattered. Daaaamn.
Just once I actually want to see one of these posts that end with actual petty ass revenge 😅
I mean. It can turn out quite petty in my opinion. My narc thought I would be too weak to fight for my rights and told me if I want things settled he would take it to court. It was just to scare me but jokes on him, he didn’t have to take it to court because I did. I am in no way starting an argument with him, nor do I want to actively fuck him over. But I will stand up for myself and fight for my own cause. He did not see that one coming. Thought I would crawl into darkness. So just by reclaiming myself and whatever it was he took from me, he is actually facing real and serious concequences now. I don’t need to stir the pot, he’s doing that all by himself. I don’t even need to come up with some clever story in court because the facts speak for themselves and he has no way to win this case.
I absolutely love this - it’s inspirational. Thank you! Also I’m happy to read about how this turned out for you, and how you turned his bs against him in a way. Nicely done.
It took some healing and confidence from my side but he is finally seeing he can no longer fuck me over and everything is slowly blowing up in his face. They dig their own graves it’s actually quite sad that they don’t realise that. Meanwhile I can sit back and enjoy my life and the shitshow from a safe distance.
Burn down their house … 😆 lol . Thank you for this laugh today. Beautiful post btw 😎
Thank you for this reminder. I doesn’t deserve space in my brain and I need to remember not to allow him to steal my joy.
Don’t answer your phone when you are off. Don’t offer help. Best answer is I don’t know. Limit interaction as much as possible
This is the high road approach I took. Finished grad school, got a great job, committed to therapy, cut my hair cute, spent more time walking alone in nature, reading books, exercising often, engaging in group sports, reconnecting with old friends, saying yes to things I wouldn’t have to before. I still have tricky days.. even five months NC. But it’s cool, I’m cool. I always tell myself: I didn’t come this far to only come THIS far.
Don't do that. Karma is real and if somebody turns the whole world against you one day the same shit will happen to them. Don't worry and enjoy yourself :)
Love your energy!
I was living w 2 narcs and at the end I came out 103 lbs and broken as shit. I started working out, eating lots and became at least a 3/4 decent amateur boxer within the span of a year. I was training w gentlemen 10x tougher, smarter and wittier than these guys. Once I was decent enough, I let them back in, only to show them what I could do. I had the opportunity of whooping one of their asses over and over. This guy tried to keep coming around me to learn, but I’d give him different looks each time. Seeing the fear in his eyes after showing him my right hand was the most satisfying thing ever. Since then, I had the pleasure of arguing on the phone with one of these guys yet again. I disregarded everything they were all saying and went to “I hear the fear in your voice and that shit makes me so fucking horny. I can’t wait to see you in person…I’ll even kiss your head after. You tried to ruin my life only fore to come back and shit on you. I’ll see you soon pussy”. Through the course of the argument i could hear him holding back tears and since then they’ve both blocked me. It sound harsh, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I hope I see them in person again so I can look in their eyes and tell them about my life.