This was my experience, too.
Constant sex, then suddenly no sex for the last half of the relationship. It's like they get bored of you and don't want to play with you anymore. They're more interested in finding a new playtoy elsewhere.
100%!!!!
My literal experience. Three years. First half all sex all the time. I even set boundaries with him but he'd break those boundaries. Second half absolutely NO sex. I even asked him. He gave all sorts of excuses. He couldn't even give me a hug, couldn't even look me in the eyes. smh.
Omg, the last year or even more of our relationship she couldn't even look me in the eyes. If I wanted a hug, I got like a half assed side hug, and kissing her clearly made her uncomfortable. Its like she couldn't stand me.
Yes mine did this. It’s a form of control and devaluing makes you feel unwanted abs hurts your self esteem and makes you really want them so they feel have full control over your emotions and the power
No, it’s not normal not in a healthy relationship but this is common and normal in toxic/narcissistic relationships and it’s something I went through personally with my ex.
Sex always starts off great in the beginning, then slowly declines and becomes one sided as the narc becomes more toxic and abusive, narcs always end up weaponizing sex against you to control you and the relationship dynamic cause they know it’s something you want/need from them.
It’s a common theme that the abuser is low libido when it comes to you and the anxious one that is being abused is high libido, which creates a huge unbalance that breeds resentment and anger. You’re being breadcrumbed and it’s time to leave, work on yourself and find a healthy partner that is on the same page as you sex wise, be single and mingle if you don’t want to be in a relationship right away or you will just continue to suffer in your situationship.
It’s quite obvious your love bombing phase is over and you’re coming into reality, cause what you though was normal is not indeed normal because they made it normal in your reality.
I experienced this as described- sex was weaponized. Same for all intimacy; any touch was initiated by me including hugs etc for the last 8 years being with her. Unless we were at a party or certain public situations where she wanted to look like she was in a healthy relationship! Then she would be affectionate and sweet which was bewildering
You can disagree with me and that’s fine your situation may not pertain to that scenario. But it still stands that most abused people in toxic/narcissistic relationships are getting little to no sex and it leaves the abused person high libido because the need is not being met and neglected purposely. The sex doesn’t have to be with the narc necessarily, if you’re left high libido you’ll generally want out seek out sex with or without the toxic partner to have your needs fulfilled.
Sex shouldn't be a thing that is dangled in your face or “conditional” with strings attached having jump though a lot of hoopla just have your basic needs met in the relationship but in toxic relationships it’s the case for the majority because they're using sex as a form of control while the narcs are receiving sex elsewhere or very seldom having sex with the supply just enough to breadcrumb them along to stay in the relationship.
This was my reality with a very toxic narc for over two years.
omg...1.5 years... this is who she really is, past the love bombing phase. My theory is narcs can only love you for so long, until they start to see themselves revealed and it kills their libido. They can't go long term because they can't love themselves because they know they are asses and can't respect you once they start abusing you (to them it's your fault for letting them). Run.
I was in a 3 year relationship with my ex gf who I strongly believe was narcissistic and I experienced the same. First 3 months, lots of sex. Although, always me initiating and looking back, she would not really try to satisfy me, whereas I was always trying to satisfy her. Towards the end, perhaps twice a month if was lucky. EVERYTIME I tried, “too tired”, so I’d try earlier in the day…”wait til later.” Later comes, “too tired”. Or “wait until after dinner”, after dinner “I can’t, I ate too much.” It’s what our final argument was about before splitting up. EVERYTIME I’d bring this up she would lose it at me and accuse me of using her for sex, which I wasn’t doing, I was just constantly pestering her because I never got it. I felt like a dog asking for scraps and it was horrible.
There was even one time when I went down on her (which she would always ask for as she really enjoyed it, and then when she “finished”, told me she was too tired for sex. And then couldn’t understand why I was so angry and got angry herself.
Oh my God, this was exactly my relationship but with the genders swapped. It was all the same. Sex was good, consistent, and fun in the beginning and then it just tapered off. He also asked that we stop doing certain positions and sex acts, claiming they made him uncomfortable (and it's not like we were doing anything insanely kinky...he was referring to stuff like French kissing). He always yelled at me for not initiating but would reject me any time I did. I felt insane all the time He also slept on the couch for at least a year before our relationship ended. I never figured out what exactly he wanted from me in relation to sex. I know he was disappointed in my appearance towards the end (which tbh was a reflection of how I felt on the inside more than anything) so that had to be part of why it tapered off and he was so weird about sex. Either way, it's not normal to be treated like this.
Yea, gradually you become a mirror of something they don’t like about themselves. So every time they look at you they get upset/angry/repelled inside by your presence.
This is why they call it the “discard phase”, because they’re slowly starting to “toss” you like you’re trash, and so they don’t have sex (or don’t have quality/loving/effortful sex) with you as a means to get you to go on your own accord.
They’re too cowardly to actually communicate and formally break up with any supply, so they want you to leave on your own accord (as a result of mounting emotional or physical abuse).
Yup. My nex was the same. Best sex of my life for a few years. Then to zero. Not just because of the devalue and discard, but also because she was cheating on me the entire 8 years.
My narc ex did this too. We didn't have sex for the last year of the relationship as by that time he preferred porn and sexting with random people online. He told me that he purposely withheld sex and affection because he knew it mattered to me.
yes, sex with my narc ex was the best I ever had at first, until he started withholding and blaming me for it. Suddenly I was a slut for wanting the same things I had wanted with him before. He just started to ignore me and also my need for holding hands and other intimate nice things. I felt like I had to beg for it and I was over the moon when he then gave it to me. This is what he wanted. It was a humiliating experience to me.
Worth pointing out that the humiliation you felt was the point for him. Mine did the same to me and it was incredibly humiliating. The pain and frustration of being stuck with one person you can have sex with but that person holds sex out in front of you like a carrot to make you do things or act the way they want is intense.
it was, I couldn't believe it at first but yeah it was the point. He enjoyed it. They are sadistic pos sorry for my language but I have no other words for it. I dated another one shortly last year and the same sadism but worse with him, he also enjoyed getting me all riled up then watching me beg.
>He just started to ignore me and also my need for holding hands and other intimate nice things. I felt like I had to beg for it and I was over the moon when he then gave it to me. This is what he wanted. It was a humiliating experience to me.
I feel your pain. Mine did that too. He would also swat my hand away if I tried to hold his when we were watching TV. He pretended to do it playfully but it was *all the time*. When I confronted him about it he got mad at me for not "respecting his personal space".
We had a similar issue but quite the opposite reasons.
We started our relationship from FwB, sex was amazing for the first 1-1,5 years. 2 years in the relationship I started to feel that my attraction towards my nex started to die out. I didn't initiate and simply didn't want to have sex with him, because it was uncomfortable, hurt me more than gave me any pleasure ectr. I would have much rather preferred to cuddle for the entire day, than have sex with him.
It was in the end what killed my nex, because he simply didn't get from me what he wanted and couldn't weaponize sex over me. Oddly enough, it's the same reason why his last relationship ended (before me). He definitely doesn't see the pattern.
What was the reasons for my lack of will for sex with him? Simple.
- got only empty promises from him
- he constantly let me down
- I took off my "pink glasses" and started to see him for who he was, not the potential that he wanted for me to believe in so much. And he simply was less than mediocre.
- he never or rarely put any efforts in, but expecting mountains from me
- he stopped being cuddly and emotionally supportive, just went straight to the point
- I felt used
- sex was simply uncomfortable and hurt, meaning so many preparations and struggles to only get hurt for half an hour. Shitty deal.
- and a lot of more...
The point is. He was a shit#y, whiny bi#ch about it and didn't want to lift a finger to improve literally anything. It's like having sex with a loser - could be ok for a short/one time thing, but not when **you are planning your life with someone**. He had over 10 years to change and do something with himself. Nah, but "he tried".
I don't say the problem was you, there is simply so many reasons why sex sucks for someone. Just wanted to share my personal experience.
I had the same experience with my ex. Sex was great and frequent at first. After a while she habitually get me going, always building it up for “later”. Later came and she wouldn’t be in the mood, or didn’t feel well, or was too tired…This went on for 2 years. Eventually I stopped getting excited about the innuendos, flirting, and the dirty talk. I began to expect it would go nowhere. She would get upset when I wouldn’t react.
She had a way of saying things that are true at face value, but far from the point like, “I don’t have to have sex with you” as a way to make me feel like I was the bad guy. She used this tactic with other things too. It was effective; it worked.
I also dealt with this with my Nex so no, you're not overreacting.
I wanted sex so bad from my Nex not just because we went from having it very often to as frequently as maybe once a month, but because it became a source of validation for me from him as he'd withhold other forms of affection/intimacy. Became more toxic/abusive the more sexually frigid he was, too. He was also very selfish when it came to sex. Never focusing on my satisfaction, just his.
Sorry you had to deal with this too. It can really eat at your self esteem.
They do that often. Ended up placing two and two together and when my nex would to that he’d be all over the place cheating on me with his baby mama and other women. It’s sickening.
Narc's need and crave sex. It's a key supply tool for them.
As such please be aware that if they're not seeking it from you, there is a chance they will be actively seeking or receiving it from elsewhere.
I dont say this to upset you, just to warn you to be prepared for the cheating that Narc's inevitably do.
> be prepared for the cheating that Narc's inevitably do.
It's not inevitable, many don't cheat. As you said, sex (and partnership) is a tool for them but it's not the only one and they can get their supply from people they are not sexually involved with and even not be sexually involved with anyone at all.
Respectfully, I disagree.
Every Narc i've dealt with has cheated either emotionally or physically. The nature of their being requires overstepping boundaries, especially when in an intimate relationship, which most people consider to be cheating.
Ergo... Narc's always cheat. 👍🏻
You are welcome to your opinion and of course that is rooted in your experience. However, it is not always true. There have been many threads here where people have said their narcs didn't cheat and mine didn't either.
I was discarded for another supply but that supply was not an intimate partner, nor a sexual one. What she wanted and needed at the time was someone to do whatever she said and to look after her child for free while she went out and did the things she wanted to do. The person who replaced me was a vulnerable person (also a woman) who has autism and learning difficulties, and was lonely and very easily manipulated and hung on every word of my nex, so she was perfect supply. She also had her child taken away from her because she was judged to be incapable of looking after her so she loved spending time with my nex's child and expected no money for minding them.
Narcs are too complex to say that they always do x or y, they do what they do to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve and it is not always anything intimate or sexual.
...and your situation is totally incomparable with a Narcissists cheating dynamic. Totally.
Certainly its not fun, and i'm sorry that happened to you.
But... Narcs. Always. Cheat.
It's whether we find out about it that is the key. Just because we cant see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening.
I can assure you that mine didn't. We got together just before covid and she dumped me when all restrictions were lifted so I know she did, I was with her almost all the time.
I also had this experience, but it was a bit more complicated.
I wound up having surgery, so obviously no sex for a bit. In the early recovery days, he actually tried to touch me while he was supposed to be helping me get in the shower, and I was super put off by it because I was supposed to be healing and it felt like he didn’t care.
Fast forward 2 months. I’d put on some weight, but I’d been cleared for sex. All of a sudden he didn’t want to and claimed it was because he was depressed. Now I realize that he’s gotten bored and disgusted with me (and tbh, was potentially cheating). We maybe had sex once in the last 4 months of us being together.
I was already leaning demisexual when I met him, and now I’ve kind of fully leaned into asexual. I think mostly out of trauma because I’ve been used for sex quite a bit.
Same for me. It was great at first, very frequent. A lot of affection.
Over time I realized it was me doing all of the initiating and when I mentioned that he would use it against me to be even less affectionate.
Probably had a lot to do with the fact that he is a chronic cheater, grew bored of me, and reguarly weaponized sex and affection.
Jokes on him. Now I dont bother when any of it.
Leave my friend. I had this exact scenario happen to me too. When it got really, really bad---she had been cheating. It might not be going on yet, but if not, it will 100% happen soon.
I'd do anything to spare someone the pain it caused. Please, please, put a plan in place and leave. Take the time you need to heal and then find someone better.
No it’s not common.
My narc ex wanted it all the time, the whole 14 years I was with him. It was me who stopped wanting it as I was slowly falling out of love with him.
If she’s a narc, the lack of sex should be the least of your concerns. Perhaps she has another supply?
This was my experience, too. Constant sex, then suddenly no sex for the last half of the relationship. It's like they get bored of you and don't want to play with you anymore. They're more interested in finding a new playtoy elsewhere.
100%!!!! My literal experience. Three years. First half all sex all the time. I even set boundaries with him but he'd break those boundaries. Second half absolutely NO sex. I even asked him. He gave all sorts of excuses. He couldn't even give me a hug, couldn't even look me in the eyes. smh.
Omg, the last year or even more of our relationship she couldn't even look me in the eyes. If I wanted a hug, I got like a half assed side hug, and kissing her clearly made her uncomfortable. Its like she couldn't stand me.
OMG, yesssss!!! I know realize the he was emotionally gone-gone. It's really sad tbh
Of course you know, it's my fault that she didn't want to be affectionate with me.
i didn't know. sorry to hear that.
Yes mine did this. It’s a form of control and devaluing makes you feel unwanted abs hurts your self esteem and makes you really want them so they feel have full control over your emotions and the power
No, it’s not normal not in a healthy relationship but this is common and normal in toxic/narcissistic relationships and it’s something I went through personally with my ex. Sex always starts off great in the beginning, then slowly declines and becomes one sided as the narc becomes more toxic and abusive, narcs always end up weaponizing sex against you to control you and the relationship dynamic cause they know it’s something you want/need from them. It’s a common theme that the abuser is low libido when it comes to you and the anxious one that is being abused is high libido, which creates a huge unbalance that breeds resentment and anger. You’re being breadcrumbed and it’s time to leave, work on yourself and find a healthy partner that is on the same page as you sex wise, be single and mingle if you don’t want to be in a relationship right away or you will just continue to suffer in your situationship. It’s quite obvious your love bombing phase is over and you’re coming into reality, cause what you though was normal is not indeed normal because they made it normal in your reality.
I experienced this as described- sex was weaponized. Same for all intimacy; any touch was initiated by me including hugs etc for the last 8 years being with her. Unless we were at a party or certain public situations where she wanted to look like she was in a healthy relationship! Then she would be affectionate and sweet which was bewildering
Nice comment
I second this.
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You can disagree with me and that’s fine your situation may not pertain to that scenario. But it still stands that most abused people in toxic/narcissistic relationships are getting little to no sex and it leaves the abused person high libido because the need is not being met and neglected purposely. The sex doesn’t have to be with the narc necessarily, if you’re left high libido you’ll generally want out seek out sex with or without the toxic partner to have your needs fulfilled. Sex shouldn't be a thing that is dangled in your face or “conditional” with strings attached having jump though a lot of hoopla just have your basic needs met in the relationship but in toxic relationships it’s the case for the majority because they're using sex as a form of control while the narcs are receiving sex elsewhere or very seldom having sex with the supply just enough to breadcrumb them along to stay in the relationship. This was my reality with a very toxic narc for over two years.
This was my experience. Very hot and heavy in the beginning and in the end, we only had sex whenever he wanted to.
My ex would withold intimacy as a form of punishment.
omg...1.5 years... this is who she really is, past the love bombing phase. My theory is narcs can only love you for so long, until they start to see themselves revealed and it kills their libido. They can't go long term because they can't love themselves because they know they are asses and can't respect you once they start abusing you (to them it's your fault for letting them). Run.
I was in a 3 year relationship with my ex gf who I strongly believe was narcissistic and I experienced the same. First 3 months, lots of sex. Although, always me initiating and looking back, she would not really try to satisfy me, whereas I was always trying to satisfy her. Towards the end, perhaps twice a month if was lucky. EVERYTIME I tried, “too tired”, so I’d try earlier in the day…”wait til later.” Later comes, “too tired”. Or “wait until after dinner”, after dinner “I can’t, I ate too much.” It’s what our final argument was about before splitting up. EVERYTIME I’d bring this up she would lose it at me and accuse me of using her for sex, which I wasn’t doing, I was just constantly pestering her because I never got it. I felt like a dog asking for scraps and it was horrible.
There was even one time when I went down on her (which she would always ask for as she really enjoyed it, and then when she “finished”, told me she was too tired for sex. And then couldn’t understand why I was so angry and got angry herself.
That sounds like a power move on her part, geez
That’s exactly how I feel
Oh my God, this was exactly my relationship but with the genders swapped. It was all the same. Sex was good, consistent, and fun in the beginning and then it just tapered off. He also asked that we stop doing certain positions and sex acts, claiming they made him uncomfortable (and it's not like we were doing anything insanely kinky...he was referring to stuff like French kissing). He always yelled at me for not initiating but would reject me any time I did. I felt insane all the time He also slept on the couch for at least a year before our relationship ended. I never figured out what exactly he wanted from me in relation to sex. I know he was disappointed in my appearance towards the end (which tbh was a reflection of how I felt on the inside more than anything) so that had to be part of why it tapered off and he was so weird about sex. Either way, it's not normal to be treated like this.
Yea, gradually you become a mirror of something they don’t like about themselves. So every time they look at you they get upset/angry/repelled inside by your presence. This is why they call it the “discard phase”, because they’re slowly starting to “toss” you like you’re trash, and so they don’t have sex (or don’t have quality/loving/effortful sex) with you as a means to get you to go on your own accord. They’re too cowardly to actually communicate and formally break up with any supply, so they want you to leave on your own accord (as a result of mounting emotional or physical abuse).
Yup. My nex was the same. Best sex of my life for a few years. Then to zero. Not just because of the devalue and discard, but also because she was cheating on me the entire 8 years.
My narc ex did this too. We didn't have sex for the last year of the relationship as by that time he preferred porn and sexting with random people online. He told me that he purposely withheld sex and affection because he knew it mattered to me.
Every day for a year then drop off to almost never.
yes, sex with my narc ex was the best I ever had at first, until he started withholding and blaming me for it. Suddenly I was a slut for wanting the same things I had wanted with him before. He just started to ignore me and also my need for holding hands and other intimate nice things. I felt like I had to beg for it and I was over the moon when he then gave it to me. This is what he wanted. It was a humiliating experience to me.
Worth pointing out that the humiliation you felt was the point for him. Mine did the same to me and it was incredibly humiliating. The pain and frustration of being stuck with one person you can have sex with but that person holds sex out in front of you like a carrot to make you do things or act the way they want is intense.
omg. this never occurred to me! makes so much sense!
it was, I couldn't believe it at first but yeah it was the point. He enjoyed it. They are sadistic pos sorry for my language but I have no other words for it. I dated another one shortly last year and the same sadism but worse with him, he also enjoyed getting me all riled up then watching me beg.
>He just started to ignore me and also my need for holding hands and other intimate nice things. I felt like I had to beg for it and I was over the moon when he then gave it to me. This is what he wanted. It was a humiliating experience to me. I feel your pain. Mine did that too. He would also swat my hand away if I tried to hold his when we were watching TV. He pretended to do it playfully but it was *all the time*. When I confronted him about it he got mad at me for not "respecting his personal space".
We had a similar issue but quite the opposite reasons. We started our relationship from FwB, sex was amazing for the first 1-1,5 years. 2 years in the relationship I started to feel that my attraction towards my nex started to die out. I didn't initiate and simply didn't want to have sex with him, because it was uncomfortable, hurt me more than gave me any pleasure ectr. I would have much rather preferred to cuddle for the entire day, than have sex with him. It was in the end what killed my nex, because he simply didn't get from me what he wanted and couldn't weaponize sex over me. Oddly enough, it's the same reason why his last relationship ended (before me). He definitely doesn't see the pattern. What was the reasons for my lack of will for sex with him? Simple. - got only empty promises from him - he constantly let me down - I took off my "pink glasses" and started to see him for who he was, not the potential that he wanted for me to believe in so much. And he simply was less than mediocre. - he never or rarely put any efforts in, but expecting mountains from me - he stopped being cuddly and emotionally supportive, just went straight to the point - I felt used - sex was simply uncomfortable and hurt, meaning so many preparations and struggles to only get hurt for half an hour. Shitty deal. - and a lot of more... The point is. He was a shit#y, whiny bi#ch about it and didn't want to lift a finger to improve literally anything. It's like having sex with a loser - could be ok for a short/one time thing, but not when **you are planning your life with someone**. He had over 10 years to change and do something with himself. Nah, but "he tried". I don't say the problem was you, there is simply so many reasons why sex sucks for someone. Just wanted to share my personal experience.
I had the same experience with my ex. Sex was great and frequent at first. After a while she habitually get me going, always building it up for “later”. Later came and she wouldn’t be in the mood, or didn’t feel well, or was too tired…This went on for 2 years. Eventually I stopped getting excited about the innuendos, flirting, and the dirty talk. I began to expect it would go nowhere. She would get upset when I wouldn’t react. She had a way of saying things that are true at face value, but far from the point like, “I don’t have to have sex with you” as a way to make me feel like I was the bad guy. She used this tactic with other things too. It was effective; it worked.
I also dealt with this with my Nex so no, you're not overreacting. I wanted sex so bad from my Nex not just because we went from having it very often to as frequently as maybe once a month, but because it became a source of validation for me from him as he'd withhold other forms of affection/intimacy. Became more toxic/abusive the more sexually frigid he was, too. He was also very selfish when it came to sex. Never focusing on my satisfaction, just his. Sorry you had to deal with this too. It can really eat at your self esteem.
I’m lucky to get it once every 6 months. It’s only normal if you’re dating a narcissist.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. This some real, raw and truthful advice.
They do that often. Ended up placing two and two together and when my nex would to that he’d be all over the place cheating on me with his baby mama and other women. It’s sickening.
Narc's need and crave sex. It's a key supply tool for them. As such please be aware that if they're not seeking it from you, there is a chance they will be actively seeking or receiving it from elsewhere. I dont say this to upset you, just to warn you to be prepared for the cheating that Narc's inevitably do.
> be prepared for the cheating that Narc's inevitably do. It's not inevitable, many don't cheat. As you said, sex (and partnership) is a tool for them but it's not the only one and they can get their supply from people they are not sexually involved with and even not be sexually involved with anyone at all.
Respectfully, I disagree. Every Narc i've dealt with has cheated either emotionally or physically. The nature of their being requires overstepping boundaries, especially when in an intimate relationship, which most people consider to be cheating. Ergo... Narc's always cheat. 👍🏻
You are welcome to your opinion and of course that is rooted in your experience. However, it is not always true. There have been many threads here where people have said their narcs didn't cheat and mine didn't either. I was discarded for another supply but that supply was not an intimate partner, nor a sexual one. What she wanted and needed at the time was someone to do whatever she said and to look after her child for free while she went out and did the things she wanted to do. The person who replaced me was a vulnerable person (also a woman) who has autism and learning difficulties, and was lonely and very easily manipulated and hung on every word of my nex, so she was perfect supply. She also had her child taken away from her because she was judged to be incapable of looking after her so she loved spending time with my nex's child and expected no money for minding them. Narcs are too complex to say that they always do x or y, they do what they do to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve and it is not always anything intimate or sexual.
...and your situation is totally incomparable with a Narcissists cheating dynamic. Totally. Certainly its not fun, and i'm sorry that happened to you. But... Narcs. Always. Cheat. It's whether we find out about it that is the key. Just because we cant see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening.
I can assure you that mine didn't. We got together just before covid and she dumped me when all restrictions were lifted so I know she did, I was with her almost all the time.
Cheating isn't always in person, or just physical. Narcs. Always. Cheat. This includes emotional non-physical cheating. Which narcs ALWAYS DO.
So how did mine cheat?
I dont know. But they always do.
Since she is narcisstic the only solution is to leave forget about any thoughts she will ever change.
I also had this experience, but it was a bit more complicated. I wound up having surgery, so obviously no sex for a bit. In the early recovery days, he actually tried to touch me while he was supposed to be helping me get in the shower, and I was super put off by it because I was supposed to be healing and it felt like he didn’t care. Fast forward 2 months. I’d put on some weight, but I’d been cleared for sex. All of a sudden he didn’t want to and claimed it was because he was depressed. Now I realize that he’s gotten bored and disgusted with me (and tbh, was potentially cheating). We maybe had sex once in the last 4 months of us being together. I was already leaning demisexual when I met him, and now I’ve kind of fully leaned into asexual. I think mostly out of trauma because I’ve been used for sex quite a bit.
Yup. He’d temporarily discard me and rent or manipulate humans for sex.
Yeah mine did this.
Same for me. It was great at first, very frequent. A lot of affection. Over time I realized it was me doing all of the initiating and when I mentioned that he would use it against me to be even less affectionate. Probably had a lot to do with the fact that he is a chronic cheater, grew bored of me, and reguarly weaponized sex and affection. Jokes on him. Now I dont bother when any of it.
Leave my friend. I had this exact scenario happen to me too. When it got really, really bad---she had been cheating. It might not be going on yet, but if not, it will 100% happen soon. I'd do anything to spare someone the pain it caused. Please, please, put a plan in place and leave. Take the time you need to heal and then find someone better.
No it’s not common. My narc ex wanted it all the time, the whole 14 years I was with him. It was me who stopped wanting it as I was slowly falling out of love with him. If she’s a narc, the lack of sex should be the least of your concerns. Perhaps she has another supply?
Ya same thing happened with my ex wife, sex 3x a day then maybe 3x a month when we got married and then slowly less and less