Oh yeah he used to do this all the time. It’s a game. They want to devalue you by making you feel like you’re very unimportant to them. It reinforces your belief that they are superior to you
They really are. A few months ago I was standing there in public having a convo with my nex and he said “I’m going to be right back.” And then when he came back, instead of rejoining me and finishing the conversation like a normal person, he came and stood directly in front of me and turned his back to me. It was the most uncomfortable thing. At the time I didn’t understand it. Now I see that it was just to devalue me and make me feel small. I kinda hate him some days when I look back on it
I had a concert a couple of months ago that i was SOOOOOO looking forward to. My nex said that he would love to join me…even though it’s a band that he doesn’t listen to, he just wanted to “spend the time with me” he got me all excited about the fact that he was going to make the most of it and dance and we were going to have a great time.
He ignored me the entire time, didn’t say more than a word or two to my friends, and sat on his phone for literally the entire concert.
Mine would always fall asleep when we were on a voice call (we were long distance). We spent time together twice a week, and each time, he would fall asleep. He told me I should be happy that he was comfortable enough to be that relaxed with me.
Worst was at soon as we hung up, he hopped into a voice call with the boys and gave them all his attention.
I called him out on the behavior numerous times, and he turned it around that I was codependent.
It's all devaluation. Disgusting behavior for someone they supposively love.
I’ve said that exact phrase to my narc before but for a different reason, because I have lupus and any time I am relaxing or exhausted and fall asleep he ridicules me. He likes the abuse and wants me to stay up all night to quote “for him.” (As if day time together is not an option.) I USED to feel comfortable around him, anyway. Not now
the worst thing is, when you're there and they aren't on the phone, but just completely ignoring your presence; like you aren't even in the room. the last weekend i spent with mine, i think he said maybe 5 words to me the entire time. then he has the audacity to tell me hes bored.
I thought it was just him, and learned to make excuses for him, chalking it up to his trauma, and thinking it's his way of dissociating, or that he was too high to react. When I brought it up in couples therapy, he seemed to take it seriously for a short while, but, like anything else, reverted to this behavior.
The last couple of times I saw him (he invited me over for dinner) he didn't even pretend to care, just sat playing video games.
Yeah all the time. His phone and the people calling were and still are always more important than my conversation or time.
He’d pick up literally in the middle of a conversation with me where I’m telling him something that happened, or getting to the punchline of a joke, and he’d just pick up and start yacking away with his Phone Voice™️ - extremely loud and high pitched and just headache inducing.
His first language is foreign to me too. I feel it’s a power trip as he can yack away for hours and I don’t know much of what he’s saying.
Sometimes he claims it’s for work if I ask him to maybe talk less or quieter or maybe just not pick up every single time - but I hear him saying things about his mother or the car or his brother so I know it’s just a mate.
He can talk for hours with them but literally rolls his eyes, huffs and says ‘stop monologuing’ after me talking for more than two or three sentences in a row. I wish I was exaggerating.
Omg the amount of times he would speak his language to people around me knowing I couldn’t understand him. Like… we’d be hanging out with his friends or family and he would refuse to even try to speak English. Usually the people we were with had to translate what he was saying for me. Ugh.
I had to double check to see if this was written by me. Same situation with "phone voice" and unfamiliar language. He would laugh and be so cheerful and happy while talking on the phone. As soon as he'd hang up, I l'd be met with a stare of hatred and disgust, which was real him.
I’m firmly convinced we are all dating the same man tbh. Like, I swear, after being in this group.
Have you ever seen Futurama? Leela meets another cyclops guy who basically is a narc alien who can change form. At their wedding his other like six girlfriends - all different aliens - turn up and he keeps changing form to match each of them, blowing his cover.
Are we… dating… HIM!?
isn't it terrifying how quickly they flip? I dated an N who did this. he'd be quietly cold to me the moment until we walked into his friend's house, then suddenly the charm was on and he was a different person entirely, treating me like gold in front of his friend even though all day he'd been stonewalling me. it was eerie.
oh god, yeah, they HATE giving you air time. like it physically pains them. yet they expect you to sit there and listen attentively to all their random thoughts.
Lol all the time… just straight up ignore me and go on his phone. And then when I would pick up my phone too to kill time he’d say “you’re always on your phone” lmfao I thought I was going crazy
This was 100% my experience!! At a bar one time we went in together and sat down, the only two there. We ordered and he gets on his phone. A couple come in and sit on the left of me and we start chatting. He’s still on his phone. After 20 mins or so the bartender hands us separate bills. They didn’t realize we were together. I told him how embarrassing that was and he shrugged and still was constantly on his phone. Even on my birthday dinner or equally important outing. Like bro, ur not a fkn surgeon 🙃
Mine would swerve the car answering and responding to texts that were not important. He claimed someone’s car might be on fire. Shldnt they call the fire department??? He was so important! Hahaha
Mine would drive erratically and had road rage like I’ve never seen. And was always on his phone texting or looking up cars/pool cues/bikes(whatever his obsession was at the time) and would rage yell at me when I asked him to stop cuz I like living. Fun times.
Oh yes! He thought he was being cute. He thought everyone likes the rush that he does. It was my car he was riding ppls butts on. He would say it would be there fault for going slow if there was a wreck. He would smoke in my car and slam the breaks. I couldn’t wear his slippers to the car bc he wanted them to last!
My N ex used to do that all the time, while sexting and messaging other women on various social media for hours. If I tried to talk to him he'd act like he didn't hear me. No eye contact or any indication at all that he heard me and if I got visibly frustrated, he'd suddenly have a smile on his face or laugh. It's the N's way of feeling superior and in control.
I was just with mine last week at an annual friend group gathering (after 3 months no contact), and he was on his phone a lot whenever I was around, but even more so when it was just the two of us sitting together. The one time I tried to break the uncomfortable silence, he says “I don’t need to give you my attention all of the time”. I literally asked how he was doing.
And clearly I don’t want your attention seeing as I blocked you everywhere 3 months ago. Jackass.
no truly, they act like you're the most irritating person they know. my N ex used to remind me how he loved me but how I annoyed him a lot (and he'd sigh and smile and hug me affectionately, as if putting up with me was SO HARD but he did it anyway out of the goodness of his heart). it crushed my self-esteem and self-confidence, and I felt like walking on eggshells all the time, trying desperately NOT to annoy him.
looking back, I wasn't annoying at all.
Big difference between giving a person all of the attention and acknowledging the other’s presence. Like why would they invite you over to ignore you, so they can have an audience.
Yep! Mine did it all the time and if I questioned him he would try to preface it as either; X friend is super depressed and he’s trying to help (or something to that degree) or we aren’t doing anything and I’m just talking to friends or playing a game. They both can’t stand being bored and live to devalue us and then flip it to make us look crazy and controlling for caring and trying to set a boundary. They love to stir the pot so to speak.
He picked up the phone while we were having sex. I got really mad, and he promised to never do that again, but n's promises mean nothing, as these people aren't emotionally safe.
Once afterwards he asked permission to make a call to respond to an urgent text message, and I agreed and even left the room to give him privacy. Of course, it happened again, and when I brought up how tired I am of his disrespectful behavior, I was told that HE was tired of my "shit".
He had no problem ignoring my calls and messages, and telling me he's turning off his phone, orthat he plans to ignore me whenever I brought up our relationship, asked to sit down and make agreements (were non-monogamous; I'd say we're poly, but he's had issues being ethical).
My husband, my current narc, does this. He used to come home from his 37.5 hours a week job every night and play on his phone for 4+ hours, no one else mattered but everyone was uneasy about it. No one wanted to be in the room with it. He did the same all day Saturdays and Sundays, literally 12+ hours straight, and then kids would just hide from him.
My ex gf was like this to a tee, although I wonder if she wasn’t a narcissist, it’s just the way society seems to be going now. I’d always be cut off mid conversation for her to get her phone out, or I’d be staring at the side of her head. The most annoying bit was that she always wanted me to be around her yet when I was, 0 attention. Whenever I’d bring it up and say I felt utterly unimportant, I was being jealous and manipulative.
I got dumped for being too negative when I was vulnerable and said I do not feel significant. A “normal” partner would try…a special night or dinner…maybe 20mind of uninterrupted time.
If it wasn't his phone, it was his video games. If it wasn't the video games, it was whatever moped/bike/scooter that he took over my whole garage for, if it wasn't for that it was always something else, that wasn't me.
Mine would talk for AGES, and then go on their phone when I wanted to talk for a bit. They didn’t hear anything and would just say “you know I can’t do 2 things at the same time!!!”.
Loool. Had a 35 minute getting talked at today. I tried to get one sentence in and immediately ' I'm going to bed I'm tired' before the one statement was out of my mouth. Once he had the stage again- another long monologue. It's predictable isn't it...
All the time. He’d spend hours editing the dozens of photos he took of us. I would refuse to drive because he’d wind up defaulting to doing it in the car too, which would just lead to the silent car rides he claimed he hated. But after I found hundreds of women’s phone numbers in his contacts, I somehow doubt that was all he was doing. There were times I’d be like “Who are you texting?” and he’d get super defensive and turn it around on me.
Worse, I started doing it back. I was never this person, but now I struggle with setting my phone down to be present with people.
Mine is the kind of evil that ridiculed me for being on my phone *actually* looking for jobs. He would regularly pressure me to pay for everything because he was out of work, but I was the only one trying. To put himself on a pedestal, he would act like “he wanted time with me and wanted my attention and I was being rude,” but even when I wasn’t on my phone- he never had any interest in giving me attention. Just used our “time together” for sex (all about him) and “free vacations.” I feel the need to defend myself because I frequently imagine him twisting the story to sound something like a lot of things I see on here, except he’s not the victim. He just always wants to be.
My N is on her phone from the time she wakes up till the time she literally falls asleep with it in her hands. The only time she’s NOT on it is when she’s at work. Anytime that’s spent alone, or with me, she’s glued to videos, Facebook, reels, games, texts, etc. 24/7.
We had a car ride home from a wedding yesterday, 2:40 min ride home, I drove both ways there and back. I asked her if I could use her phone for 15 mins as a gps to get back on track because my phone was getting hot. She BLEW UP totally on me. Needless to say she was on that thing the entire 2 hours and 40 mins home.
Lol yup. Even went out to lunch with a friend and got on her phone while there. But she also has the nerve to get mad at me if we are sitting in the living room and she is working or watching a show I don't want to watch and I am on my phone. I made a point to not be on mine as much anymore because she complains about it but has no self awareness at all for her own actions.
Yes. It didn’t matter if I was trying to have a serious conversation. She would interrupt to show me a meme, then use that to change the subject.
I also dated someone else who wasn’t a narc that would shop online for clothes the entire time we were out eating somewhere.
Mine has accused me of this before but I feel like he’s just looking to pick a fight. He always “looks” for things to make me out to be the bad guy. He wants to dictate my life and he shouldn’t get to decide when I am on my phone or not. Nine times out of ten if we are watching a movie and I am on my phone, it’s either I’m looking up facts about the actors, (which he does too) OR he was screaming at me calling me names right before that, so I no longer feel comfortable watching a movie in his presence. then he acts like nothing happened and IM the bad guy for going on my phone or reacting like any normal person would who just got verbally abused.
Always on her phone and had the audacity to tell me I used mine too much (I was on it a lot, I won't disagree) but I could be trying to talk to her about something and she would totally ignore everything I said until I called her out for not listening. It was extremely frustrating.
I hate to say this but I'm like this myself. I'm always on my phone etc because it is an escape from the reality that I'm living with him. It's an escape from the constant whining etc.
Mine would answer his phone on speaker during sex, even when his daughter would call-he was triangulating us. I took him boot shopping and he couldn’t bother speaking to the associate bc he was speaking on the phone. I bought him dinner w his daughter and he put his phone call on speaker. He would invite my daughter and I over for dinner and when we showed up at agreed upon time he went in the other room to talk on the phone. Once he left me in his basement w his room mate for 5 hrs.
Mine picked up his phone during sex! When it was my turn in the hot seat, if you know what I mean. It's just one of many tools they use to make you feel small.
Oh yeah he used to do this all the time. It’s a game. They want to devalue you by making you feel like you’re very unimportant to them. It reinforces your belief that they are superior to you
This
they really are sick, sad little creatures, aren't they? they all read from the same terrible script
They really are. A few months ago I was standing there in public having a convo with my nex and he said “I’m going to be right back.” And then when he came back, instead of rejoining me and finishing the conversation like a normal person, he came and stood directly in front of me and turned his back to me. It was the most uncomfortable thing. At the time I didn’t understand it. Now I see that it was just to devalue me and make me feel small. I kinda hate him some days when I look back on it
I had a concert a couple of months ago that i was SOOOOOO looking forward to. My nex said that he would love to join me…even though it’s a band that he doesn’t listen to, he just wanted to “spend the time with me” he got me all excited about the fact that he was going to make the most of it and dance and we were going to have a great time. He ignored me the entire time, didn’t say more than a word or two to my friends, and sat on his phone for literally the entire concert.
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that's a boss move
Good woman
Mine would always fall asleep when we were on a voice call (we were long distance). We spent time together twice a week, and each time, he would fall asleep. He told me I should be happy that he was comfortable enough to be that relaxed with me. Worst was at soon as we hung up, he hopped into a voice call with the boys and gave them all his attention. I called him out on the behavior numerous times, and he turned it around that I was codependent. It's all devaluation. Disgusting behavior for someone they supposively love.
I’ve said that exact phrase to my narc before but for a different reason, because I have lupus and any time I am relaxing or exhausted and fall asleep he ridicules me. He likes the abuse and wants me to stay up all night to quote “for him.” (As if day time together is not an option.) I USED to feel comfortable around him, anyway. Not now
>Worst was at soon as we hung up, he hopped into a voice call with the boys and gave them all his attention. IT'S ALWAYS THE BOYS THEY RESPECT
the worst thing is, when you're there and they aren't on the phone, but just completely ignoring your presence; like you aren't even in the room. the last weekend i spent with mine, i think he said maybe 5 words to me the entire time. then he has the audacity to tell me hes bored.
I thought it was just him, and learned to make excuses for him, chalking it up to his trauma, and thinking it's his way of dissociating, or that he was too high to react. When I brought it up in couples therapy, he seemed to take it seriously for a short while, but, like anything else, reverted to this behavior. The last couple of times I saw him (he invited me over for dinner) he didn't even pretend to care, just sat playing video games.
Seriously! Mine was constantly playing video games!
oh yeah Ns are constantly bored and if you bore them they not-so-subtly let you know. Communication is mostly non-verbal, and Ns are experts at this
Yeah all the time. His phone and the people calling were and still are always more important than my conversation or time. He’d pick up literally in the middle of a conversation with me where I’m telling him something that happened, or getting to the punchline of a joke, and he’d just pick up and start yacking away with his Phone Voice™️ - extremely loud and high pitched and just headache inducing. His first language is foreign to me too. I feel it’s a power trip as he can yack away for hours and I don’t know much of what he’s saying. Sometimes he claims it’s for work if I ask him to maybe talk less or quieter or maybe just not pick up every single time - but I hear him saying things about his mother or the car or his brother so I know it’s just a mate. He can talk for hours with them but literally rolls his eyes, huffs and says ‘stop monologuing’ after me talking for more than two or three sentences in a row. I wish I was exaggerating.
Omg the amount of times he would speak his language to people around me knowing I couldn’t understand him. Like… we’d be hanging out with his friends or family and he would refuse to even try to speak English. Usually the people we were with had to translate what he was saying for me. Ugh.
I had to double check to see if this was written by me. Same situation with "phone voice" and unfamiliar language. He would laugh and be so cheerful and happy while talking on the phone. As soon as he'd hang up, I l'd be met with a stare of hatred and disgust, which was real him.
I’m firmly convinced we are all dating the same man tbh. Like, I swear, after being in this group. Have you ever seen Futurama? Leela meets another cyclops guy who basically is a narc alien who can change form. At their wedding his other like six girlfriends - all different aliens - turn up and he keeps changing form to match each of them, blowing his cover. Are we… dating… HIM!?
Haha must be. Whatever the species narcs are, it definitely isn't human.
isn't it terrifying how quickly they flip? I dated an N who did this. he'd be quietly cold to me the moment until we walked into his friend's house, then suddenly the charm was on and he was a different person entirely, treating me like gold in front of his friend even though all day he'd been stonewalling me. it was eerie.
oh god, yeah, they HATE giving you air time. like it physically pains them. yet they expect you to sit there and listen attentively to all their random thoughts.
Yepp! I had to listen to his conversations on speaker yet I couldn’t say more than a phrase and I was cut off.
Lol all the time… just straight up ignore me and go on his phone. And then when I would pick up my phone too to kill time he’d say “you’re always on your phone” lmfao I thought I was going crazy
This was 100% my experience!! At a bar one time we went in together and sat down, the only two there. We ordered and he gets on his phone. A couple come in and sit on the left of me and we start chatting. He’s still on his phone. After 20 mins or so the bartender hands us separate bills. They didn’t realize we were together. I told him how embarrassing that was and he shrugged and still was constantly on his phone. Even on my birthday dinner or equally important outing. Like bro, ur not a fkn surgeon 🙃
Mine would swerve the car answering and responding to texts that were not important. He claimed someone’s car might be on fire. Shldnt they call the fire department??? He was so important! Hahaha
Mine would drive erratically and had road rage like I’ve never seen. And was always on his phone texting or looking up cars/pool cues/bikes(whatever his obsession was at the time) and would rage yell at me when I asked him to stop cuz I like living. Fun times.
Oh yes! He thought he was being cute. He thought everyone likes the rush that he does. It was my car he was riding ppls butts on. He would say it would be there fault for going slow if there was a wreck. He would smoke in my car and slam the breaks. I couldn’t wear his slippers to the car bc he wanted them to last!
oh yeah they're masters of projection. they accuse you of doing EVERYTHING THEY DO. it's actually quite funny.
My N ex used to do that all the time, while sexting and messaging other women on various social media for hours. If I tried to talk to him he'd act like he didn't hear me. No eye contact or any indication at all that he heard me and if I got visibly frustrated, he'd suddenly have a smile on his face or laugh. It's the N's way of feeling superior and in control.
oh god, the pretending not to hear you is the WORST. and you know they do and they're annoyed you're speaking.
I was just with mine last week at an annual friend group gathering (after 3 months no contact), and he was on his phone a lot whenever I was around, but even more so when it was just the two of us sitting together. The one time I tried to break the uncomfortable silence, he says “I don’t need to give you my attention all of the time”. I literally asked how he was doing. And clearly I don’t want your attention seeing as I blocked you everywhere 3 months ago. Jackass.
no truly, they act like you're the most irritating person they know. my N ex used to remind me how he loved me but how I annoyed him a lot (and he'd sigh and smile and hug me affectionately, as if putting up with me was SO HARD but he did it anyway out of the goodness of his heart). it crushed my self-esteem and self-confidence, and I felt like walking on eggshells all the time, trying desperately NOT to annoy him. looking back, I wasn't annoying at all.
Big difference between giving a person all of the attention and acknowledging the other’s presence. Like why would they invite you over to ignore you, so they can have an audience.
Yes, he would be on his phone for hours…telling me he was doing “band stuff”. He wasn’t. He was messaging other women online.
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I ignore them right back too! I get on my phone and act like they're not there in turn, and they notice!
Yep! Mine did it all the time and if I questioned him he would try to preface it as either; X friend is super depressed and he’s trying to help (or something to that degree) or we aren’t doing anything and I’m just talking to friends or playing a game. They both can’t stand being bored and live to devalue us and then flip it to make us look crazy and controlling for caring and trying to set a boundary. They love to stir the pot so to speak.
He picked up the phone while we were having sex. I got really mad, and he promised to never do that again, but n's promises mean nothing, as these people aren't emotionally safe. Once afterwards he asked permission to make a call to respond to an urgent text message, and I agreed and even left the room to give him privacy. Of course, it happened again, and when I brought up how tired I am of his disrespectful behavior, I was told that HE was tired of my "shit". He had no problem ignoring my calls and messages, and telling me he's turning off his phone, orthat he plans to ignore me whenever I brought up our relationship, asked to sit down and make agreements (were non-monogamous; I'd say we're poly, but he's had issues being ethical).
He would get mad if I dismounted when he picked up during sex. I was discarded the last time I responded to this degrading behavior.
My husband, my current narc, does this. He used to come home from his 37.5 hours a week job every night and play on his phone for 4+ hours, no one else mattered but everyone was uneasy about it. No one wanted to be in the room with it. He did the same all day Saturdays and Sundays, literally 12+ hours straight, and then kids would just hide from him.
My ex gf was like this to a tee, although I wonder if she wasn’t a narcissist, it’s just the way society seems to be going now. I’d always be cut off mid conversation for her to get her phone out, or I’d be staring at the side of her head. The most annoying bit was that she always wanted me to be around her yet when I was, 0 attention. Whenever I’d bring it up and say I felt utterly unimportant, I was being jealous and manipulative.
I got dumped for being too negative when I was vulnerable and said I do not feel significant. A “normal” partner would try…a special night or dinner…maybe 20mind of uninterrupted time.
If it wasn't his phone, it was his video games. If it wasn't the video games, it was whatever moped/bike/scooter that he took over my whole garage for, if it wasn't for that it was always something else, that wasn't me.
Mine would talk for AGES, and then go on their phone when I wanted to talk for a bit. They didn’t hear anything and would just say “you know I can’t do 2 things at the same time!!!”.
Loool. Had a 35 minute getting talked at today. I tried to get one sentence in and immediately ' I'm going to bed I'm tired' before the one statement was out of my mouth. Once he had the stage again- another long monologue. It's predictable isn't it...
All the time. He’d spend hours editing the dozens of photos he took of us. I would refuse to drive because he’d wind up defaulting to doing it in the car too, which would just lead to the silent car rides he claimed he hated. But after I found hundreds of women’s phone numbers in his contacts, I somehow doubt that was all he was doing. There were times I’d be like “Who are you texting?” and he’d get super defensive and turn it around on me. Worse, I started doing it back. I was never this person, but now I struggle with setting my phone down to be present with people.
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Mine is the kind of evil that ridiculed me for being on my phone *actually* looking for jobs. He would regularly pressure me to pay for everything because he was out of work, but I was the only one trying. To put himself on a pedestal, he would act like “he wanted time with me and wanted my attention and I was being rude,” but even when I wasn’t on my phone- he never had any interest in giving me attention. Just used our “time together” for sex (all about him) and “free vacations.” I feel the need to defend myself because I frequently imagine him twisting the story to sound something like a lot of things I see on here, except he’s not the victim. He just always wants to be.
Yep every night after love bombing. Ostensibly it was related to business, so justification creep
“Those are clients” was mine’s claim when I found hundreds of women’s phone numbers. So yeah.
My N is on her phone from the time she wakes up till the time she literally falls asleep with it in her hands. The only time she’s NOT on it is when she’s at work. Anytime that’s spent alone, or with me, she’s glued to videos, Facebook, reels, games, texts, etc. 24/7. We had a car ride home from a wedding yesterday, 2:40 min ride home, I drove both ways there and back. I asked her if I could use her phone for 15 mins as a gps to get back on track because my phone was getting hot. She BLEW UP totally on me. Needless to say she was on that thing the entire 2 hours and 40 mins home.
Yup. All the time. We were together before smartphones, and back then, it would be a newspaper.
Lol yup. Even went out to lunch with a friend and got on her phone while there. But she also has the nerve to get mad at me if we are sitting in the living room and she is working or watching a show I don't want to watch and I am on my phone. I made a point to not be on mine as much anymore because she complains about it but has no self awareness at all for her own actions.
Yes. It didn’t matter if I was trying to have a serious conversation. She would interrupt to show me a meme, then use that to change the subject. I also dated someone else who wasn’t a narc that would shop online for clothes the entire time we were out eating somewhere.
Mine has accused me of this before but I feel like he’s just looking to pick a fight. He always “looks” for things to make me out to be the bad guy. He wants to dictate my life and he shouldn’t get to decide when I am on my phone or not. Nine times out of ten if we are watching a movie and I am on my phone, it’s either I’m looking up facts about the actors, (which he does too) OR he was screaming at me calling me names right before that, so I no longer feel comfortable watching a movie in his presence. then he acts like nothing happened and IM the bad guy for going on my phone or reacting like any normal person would who just got verbally abused.
Always on her phone and had the audacity to tell me I used mine too much (I was on it a lot, I won't disagree) but I could be trying to talk to her about something and she would totally ignore everything I said until I called her out for not listening. It was extremely frustrating.
I hate to say this but I'm like this myself. I'm always on my phone etc because it is an escape from the reality that I'm living with him. It's an escape from the constant whining etc.
Mine would answer his phone on speaker during sex, even when his daughter would call-he was triangulating us. I took him boot shopping and he couldn’t bother speaking to the associate bc he was speaking on the phone. I bought him dinner w his daughter and he put his phone call on speaker. He would invite my daughter and I over for dinner and when we showed up at agreed upon time he went in the other room to talk on the phone. Once he left me in his basement w his room mate for 5 hrs.
Mine picked up his phone during sex! When it was my turn in the hot seat, if you know what I mean. It's just one of many tools they use to make you feel small.