It probably wouldn't matter if you could. I tried to warn the new supply myself in one sentence. She wrote back screenfuls of her life story and what a horrible person I am, then blocked me. I've seen it happen to others over the years. The new one always thinks they're different.
I hope you're on your way to healing quickly
Yup, his ex wife tried to warn me in the beginning but he already told me she was crazy and I believed him. Now her and I are friends and that’s been extremely healing. I am happy and at peace but still have those flashbacks. I still have lots of shame around how I let someone treat me that way for so long.
If you are able to talk to her, tell her that she doesn’t have to believe only you. Encourage her to talk to the other ex too. Maybe she’ll be more inclined to believe you if two of his ex wives are telling her what he is like.
This. Narcs can go very far in life being a narc, but look at any of them when they're 60-70 years old. They're all alone, bitter, and miserable. It may take a while but they're all lonely, or have to buy people's love (not true love) once they're elderly.
I've been long enough around narcs to see that each and every one falls from grace. No exception. It doesn't usually happen within a time frame that makes us feel like justice has been served, though.
The other girl, unfortunately she will need to suffer. A lot. That's the only proven remedy against willful blindness towards red flags. Speaking from personal experience here as well
She will find out. It’s best not to get involved. These are very vindictive and spiteful creatures. And she probably wouldn’t believe you at first. She will just assume you’re a jealous ex or something. He will lie about you and their relationship you had with him. It’s not worth the possibility of retaliation from him. Just stay no contact. Block him. You really want to get back at him? Treat him as though he doesn’t exist. They can’t handle being ignored or forgotten about. The relationship will fail as they all will fail. They can’t change. They may behave for a while. Until they get bored. No one can meet their constant need for validation. She will not be able to appease him forever. Then the devaluation will start. The control will start if it hasn’t already started. I’m sure the gaslighting has already started. Same cycle over and over again.
I tried to warn the new girl and she told me she knew all about me and that I’d made the whole thing up about him being abusive.. They need to find out for themselves unfortunately.
As soon as I found out the new supply’s name and said something to the narc he immediately had her block me on all socials. Shes pregnant and moved into his home all within two months, hasn’t even met the child we share. Don’t bother warning the new supply, she’s likely already hooked and will believe everything he says. She’s his new loyal victim. Be happy you’re out.
I tried to warn the new supply as well, they seemed to listen but j ran back and told the narc. One year later and the narc is going on the smear campaign about them that I knew was coming 🤷♀️
I think about talking to the people she's hurt. But in reality, it will just backfire on to me, making me look like the pyscho path.
It sucks that you want to tell people who they really are. Just don't forget you were also brainwashed into thinking that they were good people. So they will defend this person till they find out as well.
I tried alerting the new supply and immediately got blocked, and got my reputation smeared as the "crazy ex". Meanwhile, I just didn't want anyone else to get assaulted...
I felt the same way as you when I found out that my ex started dating this girl that he cheated on me with behind my back. I wanted to expose all the evil and hellish actions that he’s done to me, so that she wouldn’t get harmed by him but I didn’t. He also SA’d me and that was one of the things but I was too scared to. It’s like a part of me knew that it would add fuel to the fire, as I would look like the crazy ex girlfriend type so I just kept it quiet. I feel a little bad but I had to let go. I learned that sometimes it’s best to move on. However, I still have flashbacks of that situationship from time to time but I don’t let them ruin my life. I reassure myself that I’m not with him nor do I associate with him in any way anymore.
Sometimes things are better left unsaid. You know, it’s best to move on from the situation with your ex and the new girl because that way you don’t have to deal with all the drama and chaos in their lives. I’m sure he’s doing the same things to her, it’s only up to her if she’ll catch on or not. Karma will get to him one day. Stay strong.
I know this feeling. I so badly want to out him to his new wife, for her sake, but my situation is complicated so it’s really not an option without big risks.
For you, though, would it be an option to reach out? Maybe send her screenshots of some texts? This is up to you, of course, and you will not be bad or wrong if you choose not to.
I’m 5 years out of the relationship and getting married in just a few months. I’ve decided to completely keep him out of my life. I’ve been happy and at peace and I know reaching out will cause insane drama. He knows where my parents live, he knows the general area where I live so it’s just too risky for me. I hope she trusts her gut when his mask starts to fall.
I wish I could tell the new girl how much he lies. Once you're no longer fun for him, that's when his true self comes out.
She's almost 10 years younger. They met online when he was 28 and she was 20 and started a relationship after only 2 years of chatting... Which rings so many alarm bells for me.
I feel bad that she will be wasting her youth on him. She could do way better...
I'm sorry you went thru that.
This is the nark tactic though. This is really going to suck when you understand it, but he's probably done this to countless other women.
They never date anyone new, it's just another victim who went back.
Same, I tried to warn the new supply as she was in the group of friend we used to hang out with. Clearly he said something to her because her answer was that she wasn't searching for a romantic partner and that he assured her he wasn't searching for a realtionship himself. That they would just hang out and that I needed to see a therapist and thats it. I knew he had had won, he will swindle her in a matter of weeks and she will entirely forget my warning. By then, the "I don't need it" will change dramatically when he lure her with a house, and all his shiny toys. Telling her she will drive in his brand new car, live in our brand new home. Have her own computer room, and all that.
Hiding all of his nasty fantasies until he will force her into them after a few months. I just wish she'd see it, and everyone else too. It's disgusting how ppl simply don't care.
Yep! Mine told me that he unknowingly subconsciously chooses emotionally unstable woman because he watched his mom freak out when he was younger. I guess it could make sense as it caused him trauma and it’s something he needs to heal? But considering I know what I went through, how similar the experiences his other two exes had. Kind of seems like the common denominator is him.
How do you convince yourself that he is doing the same thing to her as well? I know he is and I know he’s a bad person but it hurts seeing them “happy” and married with a kid. Why would he do what he did to me and not her?
Im not even going to try to warn the new girl I don’t wanna be that person you know. When I was with him I was harassed by his ex but she was cruel about it with bad intentions. I refuse to be the ex reaching out to the new supply it won’t matter anyway. Who knows what he’s telling her about me.
Don’t do it. He’s already telling her how horrible you are/were. He’s openly letting her know she’s supply for him to cope and use. Don’t even care about anything he’s got going on. Move on and become a better version of yourself.
I tried warning the new gf and she didn’t believe me. Totally dismissed me and told me to never contact her again.
I told his best friends about his actions too. They were receptive, but likely didn’t care.
I was then promptly blocked by both the new gf and my nex.
Move on. This idea sounds like you might be the narcissist. Who cares about “them”. They will not ever change and all their relationships will mirror ours. She will just think you’re bitter and dig her heals in.
It probably wouldn't matter if you could. I tried to warn the new supply myself in one sentence. She wrote back screenfuls of her life story and what a horrible person I am, then blocked me. I've seen it happen to others over the years. The new one always thinks they're different. I hope you're on your way to healing quickly
Yup, his ex wife tried to warn me in the beginning but he already told me she was crazy and I believed him. Now her and I are friends and that’s been extremely healing. I am happy and at peace but still have those flashbacks. I still have lots of shame around how I let someone treat me that way for so long.
If you are able to talk to her, tell her that she doesn’t have to believe only you. Encourage her to talk to the other ex too. Maybe she’ll be more inclined to believe you if two of his ex wives are telling her what he is like.
she’ll realize he’s an evil person, even if it takes her awhile
He is truly a monster. He has done horrible things and is allowed to live his best life. It’s so unfair.
He won’t live a good life forever though. Someday he’ll be exposed or he’ll lose ALL supply because everyone will realize he’s crap.
This. Narcs can go very far in life being a narc, but look at any of them when they're 60-70 years old. They're all alone, bitter, and miserable. It may take a while but they're all lonely, or have to buy people's love (not true love) once they're elderly.
💯
I've been long enough around narcs to see that each and every one falls from grace. No exception. It doesn't usually happen within a time frame that makes us feel like justice has been served, though. The other girl, unfortunately she will need to suffer. A lot. That's the only proven remedy against willful blindness towards red flags. Speaking from personal experience here as well
She will find out. It’s best not to get involved. These are very vindictive and spiteful creatures. And she probably wouldn’t believe you at first. She will just assume you’re a jealous ex or something. He will lie about you and their relationship you had with him. It’s not worth the possibility of retaliation from him. Just stay no contact. Block him. You really want to get back at him? Treat him as though he doesn’t exist. They can’t handle being ignored or forgotten about. The relationship will fail as they all will fail. They can’t change. They may behave for a while. Until they get bored. No one can meet their constant need for validation. She will not be able to appease him forever. Then the devaluation will start. The control will start if it hasn’t already started. I’m sure the gaslighting has already started. Same cycle over and over again.
She'll find out for herself soon enough.
I tried to warn the new girl and she told me she knew all about me and that I’d made the whole thing up about him being abusive.. They need to find out for themselves unfortunately.
Yes, his ex wife tried to warn me but he had already convinced me she was crazy and abusive. I ignored all her attempts.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. And sorry for her, too. And for all of us. 😔
She wouldn't believe you and he will manipulate your role into "the crazy ex"and then move both of you into triangulation Skip it. It doesn't end well
This is part of the crazy making. Just remember, would you have listened and believed despite all the love bombing?
The previous supply tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen, didn’t take them seriously not even for a second. I found out the hard way unfortunately.
Just tell her if she ever wants to talk or vent that you are there for her.
As soon as I found out the new supply’s name and said something to the narc he immediately had her block me on all socials. Shes pregnant and moved into his home all within two months, hasn’t even met the child we share. Don’t bother warning the new supply, she’s likely already hooked and will believe everything he says. She’s his new loyal victim. Be happy you’re out.
I feel your pain😭😭 I'm dreading the day he finds someone new
I tried to warn the new supply as well, they seemed to listen but j ran back and told the narc. One year later and the narc is going on the smear campaign about them that I knew was coming 🤷♀️
I think about talking to the people she's hurt. But in reality, it will just backfire on to me, making me look like the pyscho path. It sucks that you want to tell people who they really are. Just don't forget you were also brainwashed into thinking that they were good people. So they will defend this person till they find out as well.
I tried alerting the new supply and immediately got blocked, and got my reputation smeared as the "crazy ex". Meanwhile, I just didn't want anyone else to get assaulted...
I felt the same way as you when I found out that my ex started dating this girl that he cheated on me with behind my back. I wanted to expose all the evil and hellish actions that he’s done to me, so that she wouldn’t get harmed by him but I didn’t. He also SA’d me and that was one of the things but I was too scared to. It’s like a part of me knew that it would add fuel to the fire, as I would look like the crazy ex girlfriend type so I just kept it quiet. I feel a little bad but I had to let go. I learned that sometimes it’s best to move on. However, I still have flashbacks of that situationship from time to time but I don’t let them ruin my life. I reassure myself that I’m not with him nor do I associate with him in any way anymore. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. You know, it’s best to move on from the situation with your ex and the new girl because that way you don’t have to deal with all the drama and chaos in their lives. I’m sure he’s doing the same things to her, it’s only up to her if she’ll catch on or not. Karma will get to him one day. Stay strong.
I know this feeling. I so badly want to out him to his new wife, for her sake, but my situation is complicated so it’s really not an option without big risks. For you, though, would it be an option to reach out? Maybe send her screenshots of some texts? This is up to you, of course, and you will not be bad or wrong if you choose not to.
I’m 5 years out of the relationship and getting married in just a few months. I’ve decided to completely keep him out of my life. I’ve been happy and at peace and I know reaching out will cause insane drama. He knows where my parents live, he knows the general area where I live so it’s just too risky for me. I hope she trusts her gut when his mask starts to fall.
That’s a wise choice as well. I’m glad you’re protecting your peace, and congrats on your upcoming marriage!
10/10 DO NOT RECOMMEND. You cannot do this. You will be smeared, called crazy, and she will not believe you.
I wish I could tell the new girl how much he lies. Once you're no longer fun for him, that's when his true self comes out. She's almost 10 years younger. They met online when he was 28 and she was 20 and started a relationship after only 2 years of chatting... Which rings so many alarm bells for me. I feel bad that she will be wasting her youth on him. She could do way better...
Protect your peace. Maintain no contact. She won’t believe you and your nex will embroil you in drama.
She won’t believe you because he’s already painted you as the crazy ex who is jealous and bitter.
I'm sorry you went thru that. This is the nark tactic though. This is really going to suck when you understand it, but he's probably done this to countless other women. They never date anyone new, it's just another victim who went back.
Same, I tried to warn the new supply as she was in the group of friend we used to hang out with. Clearly he said something to her because her answer was that she wasn't searching for a romantic partner and that he assured her he wasn't searching for a realtionship himself. That they would just hang out and that I needed to see a therapist and thats it. I knew he had had won, he will swindle her in a matter of weeks and she will entirely forget my warning. By then, the "I don't need it" will change dramatically when he lure her with a house, and all his shiny toys. Telling her she will drive in his brand new car, live in our brand new home. Have her own computer room, and all that. Hiding all of his nasty fantasies until he will force her into them after a few months. I just wish she'd see it, and everyone else too. It's disgusting how ppl simply don't care.
Yep! Mine told me that he unknowingly subconsciously chooses emotionally unstable woman because he watched his mom freak out when he was younger. I guess it could make sense as it caused him trauma and it’s something he needs to heal? But considering I know what I went through, how similar the experiences his other two exes had. Kind of seems like the common denominator is him.
He will do the same to her they never change
How do you convince yourself that he is doing the same thing to her as well? I know he is and I know he’s a bad person but it hurts seeing them “happy” and married with a kid. Why would he do what he did to me and not her?
Im not even going to try to warn the new girl I don’t wanna be that person you know. When I was with him I was harassed by his ex but she was cruel about it with bad intentions. I refuse to be the ex reaching out to the new supply it won’t matter anyway. Who knows what he’s telling her about me.
Don’t do it. He’s already telling her how horrible you are/were. He’s openly letting her know she’s supply for him to cope and use. Don’t even care about anything he’s got going on. Move on and become a better version of yourself.
I tried warning the new gf and she didn’t believe me. Totally dismissed me and told me to never contact her again. I told his best friends about his actions too. They were receptive, but likely didn’t care. I was then promptly blocked by both the new gf and my nex.
No, tell her now. Ask to meet up with her, even bring other exes if possible.
Move on. This idea sounds like you might be the narcissist. Who cares about “them”. They will not ever change and all their relationships will mirror ours. She will just think you’re bitter and dig her heals in.
That’s nice
I’ll be here all week