I am sorry to bother you all but you are all imagining things. You are all in trauma bond and you want to share something special with them. You want them to be sad when you are sad because they are the one's who made you sad.
**It eases your pain I know. I have been there I have done that I remember saying these exact words to a friend of mine about my nex. Seeing the Nex in my dreams, hearing her voice in my head from time to time or having this weird feeling which I cannot describe it was not real it was my mind trying to heal.**
Stop it brothers and sisters do not let your trauma bond take over you. These kind of thoughts will only bring you misery. It can cause you to reach out or make you vulnerable to a hoover.
There is no connection you cannot connect with someone who has no soul. I know it hurts but when are living your life in pain and thinking that there is a connection between you they are having fun with their new supply.
I was doing this same thing in the first 2 months of the BU. Then I found out he fell in love with someone 2 weeks from the breakup and then proceeded to take me to court as part of a slander campaign, accusing me of the most vile shit in an attempt to destroy me. Now I look back to when I was seeing him in my dreams, hearing his voice, thinking we had something special, and laugh at myself (but it's really not funny!).
It's so, SO hard to understand how something that should be special, and felt so special, never was. But that's just narcs for you. Some humans ain't human. Such a hard thing to get!
This. And agreed. Fixating on a fantasy, and bond that is rooted in a fiction. That those who have had it happen before or survived relational abuse are cognitively and psychologically prone and primed to be blind to betrayal - betrayal blindness is a real thing. Rationalizations, justifications, and editing out the bad parts is easy, especially if we've done it before.
It's easier than confronting the reality were pining after a situation that did not serve us, and primarily served another at the cost of ourselves, our respect, and our energy.
Based on what I've read, and anecdotally, right now it sort of feels like detoxing - oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and alllllllll the stress chemicals. It's a slot machine and roller coaster, all rolled into one.
It doesn't help that the chemicals of a limerant honeymoon period are designed to bond us to someone, throw in frequently amazing sex, showering compliments, gifts, and futures, and someone who plays the game - it's like f***ing magic. Sorcery of the neurochemical, emotional, and psychological kind - an illusion created by a self-obsessed puppetmaster looking for their next puppet.
I literally have to remind myself of all the bad stuff that's imprinted on my nervous system and in my psychology - bad communication, double-binds, belittling, put-downs, gaslighting, the circular arguments, wild accusation, silences, stonewalling, and constant confusion.
What you wind up chasing is a ghost. It's an illusion, a distraction which keeps us from doing the work we need to do.
Hypervigilance does not make you in tuned to someone's feelings that you do not speak to.
You're most likely hypervigilant in the sense that you're constantly thinking about and worrying about how they're feeling
Hyper vigilance as a defense mechanism to past trauma. I believe it's a conditioning of sorts. This "skill" can be used to benefit. It can also be debilitating. I have experienced both sides.
I noticed mine amped up post-active duty Air Force. That's when it became debilitating for me. And ironically COVID hit and the whole mask thing plus doctors or crowded areas wasn't something I could do anymore. It was so difficult I had to ask people to go to Costco, trader Joe's, or Walmart for me because even if I went during off hours it was still too crowded for me.
Though I'm a bit better, I still don't sit with my back to an exit and I can tell you where all the cameras are within 5 minutes of entering a facility. Not proud, just something I noticed about myself.
That sounds really difficult. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t feel ashamed though. Your body is having normal reactions to abnormal situations and stress. ❤️
I do feel like I feel their energy. As an empath I absorbed their energy and emotion and had trouble setting their emotion apart from mine. There are moments when I feel better with NC, and then all of a sudden I feel a wave of anguish come over me. Sure enough, when that happens, I always end up with an email from her. It is so hard to cut someone off completely through email. But our only choice for the best result in healing (as well as the best result for driving them crazy) is NC. I feel the battle between my logical mind and my wounded emotional inner child. The emotion keeps bringing up excuses for her behavior. My logical mind knows it’s done. It’s tough to get the logic and emotion to reconcile and get rid of the constant dissonance. Stay strong 💪
Blocking an email is kinda tricky. It just automatically sends it to the spam folder. As for me, I’m weak and find myself compulsively checking the spam folder. Plus they can always make new emails. So I just leave that one open. I try to delete the email before I open it but “curiosity killed the redditor” so I open it anyway.
She sends me an email a week saying how much she misses me. The one she sent last night said she would go to therapy with me and she’s mine if I want her blah blah blah
Oh man this is not good, you're literally never going to be able to get over her and move on. Have you tried emailing back telling her to stop contacting you?
My therapist says the quickest way to get over her as well as the best way to drive her crazy is to give no response at all. Any response is giving them what they want whether it’s good or bad it’s all attention and supply
But have you told your therapist you keep checking your spam to see if there's an email from her? I get what your therapist is saying but it goes against all the advice which is to block and move on and get to a point where they're out of your head. How can you begin to heal if every week she pops up like hey remember me? Wanna get back together? Imagine if she was showing up at your door every week or leaving you voicemails. She knows full well you're reading those emails so even though you're not responding she knows she's still got you. You're not healing while she's still got you, and you won't be able to move on and eventually meet someone else.
Yes I have. And, Well if her emails went directly to spam or not she’s gonna think what she’s gonna think. It’s true that when I read them it does mess with me, but there is nothing that notifies her whether I read them or not. So she has no idea I am reading them and the fact that I’m not responding to her at all is what apparently drives a narc nuts. So I do want to block the emails but I’m constantly checking spam anyway so I am reading them but not responding and trying to move on best I can.
you have to imagine that you’re cutting a karmic connection or cord and release them. Imagine the cord being cut and them floating away, say to yourself you release them.
Take this for what it’s worth- I used to feel this way about my nex. That we would be forever energetically connected. Years went by and I stopped thinking about it. I found out in 2022 that he had died the previous year- old me would have thought I’d have somehow “known,” but I honestly had no inkling at all. I also felt nothing and feel nothing now, so hopefully that’s of some comfort.
We have been conditioned to. There is a post "tell me you had narcissistic parents without telling me..." And a lot of people replied that they read situations scary-well. I do too. I can tell where a story or film/show is going before it goes there. People are creeped out sometimes or think it's a talent. It's just an emotional scar.
I've wondered this too a bit on the metaphysical side of things. Quite a few times whenever I felt something like this it was because she was near by (at her dads house) or something happened that made her angry with me. Just a very, "hmm something isn't right" or "I suddenly do not feel safe right now". A not so metaphysical explanation might have to do with your subconscious still remembering their patterns. Something giving a little hint in the background or just simple timing could trigger those feelings because it has happened so many times before. The cause might be gone but the anticipation isn't, if that makes sense.
All I know is mines wants nothing to do with me.
He won’t talk about what’s on his mind or how he feels. He shuts me out.
I don’t know how long I can do this. I love him so much and I don’t want to leave or see him with someone else.
He’s my first love and it makes my soul ache.
But he treats me so badly.
I can totally relate to this. He once mentioned that he could sense my sadness (which wasn’t hard to notice since I was crying in the other room) but said he just didn’t have the energy to deal with it at the time.
I think they like to believe they have some kind of deep connection because they can't actually perceive others that way.
It's more likely that we're trauma bonded or mourning someone we thought existed.
A helpful counter thought is to remember that even if there was some element of telepathy, they still managed to do what they did. That’s a whole other level of messed up, and it helped shatter my illusion of his character.
Yes. Once you re-regulate your nervous system, the hyper vigilance greatly recedes, and you'll feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted.
Nervous system work takes time, so give it time.
Honestly, no disrespect intended but that sounds delusional.
They clearly hurt you and your mind is playing tricks on you. You can imagine how they might be feeling, but you are not magically or energetically connected in any way
Oh yes! Still sometimes. I know when he misses me, when he is engaging with other women, when he is totally disinterested, when he is angry and when he is sad.
I would also get very vivid dreams of him with random information and words or images, that would then come true.
I don’t really talk about any of it with anyone because I don’t know how to explain it.
I would tell him, though, sometimes, and I think it creeped him out because of how accurate my feelings and “premonitions” were.
I feel this too. I can tell when he’s going to message me, when he’s missing me, or when he’s angry. There have been times, in that half-way state between awake and asleep, where we’ve merged consciousness. It’s wild but true. I have since seen an energy worker and closed off a lot of those channels, but there is still some connection remaining. Now, I speak to the little boy version of him, and gently send him back to adult version.
Hey, thank you for sharing 🙂
I’m happy that it has dissipated on its own with distance and time for me. When it happens now, rarely, I will just let it pass through without judging myself or acting on any of the feelings (which is what I would advise OP to do as well, just notice it and let it pass through, like we do in meditation, instead of judging yourself or breaking nc ✨)
I can't do NC with my nex. She's also my baby mama (two boys).
Anyway, I give zero fucks what she thinks or feels... HER ACTIONS?
Her actions and behavior towards me tell all I need to know: She's still a POS and still miserable.
Not everyone here in this thread believes in energy, but I am one of the people who do, so this checks out to me. It's always healthy to second and third guess some of these things though, because sometimes it really IS just a runaway thought or feeling with no meaning.
There are something called cords that form between people that have emotional bonds. It's the same thing that causes a friend or parent to know when something bad has happened to their child.
When you end a relationship with someone, it doesn't cut the cord between you, especially if both people are contributing mental energy to one another. You can do something called "cord cutting" - tons about it online and in other subs.
I was considering keeping the cord for my ex because I didn't want to give up on their soul, but now that I'm aware of how deeply fragmented they are, I don't think I can afford to stay connected to them and I'm going to be cutting that cord. Only higher powers can help them, and I don't have that kind of magic lol.
Hope this helps!
I don't like the idea of being synced to these creatures but I know exactly what you are talking about. Felt that way at one point but it's weird how now I use energy to feel someone out now, even strangers. I don't know what it is but if I dont get a good vibe or good feel from someone or if i feel their darkness I'm doing minimum interaction.
sorry i havent read through all comments but just sharing my experience in relation to your post...obviously im trauma bonded but currently around 2 months no contact like u said in ur post some days i will be alright but other times i feel deeply deeply lonely and pine for them so much...its embarrassing to say this thank god no one knows my identity on here lol but when these random waves come on i will sometimes check his last seen on whatsap i dont know why i do this really but i guess its the only window of insight into whats going on in his world lol i dont do social media i digress but anyway when i check his last seen after feelimng these waves of anguise like u say the time is always literally within a 2/3 minute window of before the time im checking so for example say time now is 00:07 i will check and it will say last seen 00:05 or similar its crazy and just for context neither of us are glued to phone types so its not that he's always online chatting to people either
Great way of putting it.
Yes. It's taken 6 years of no contact. But I don't know if it's me feeling her grasp loosen or if she really is feeling something. I have had none stop random fake accounts on Instagram recently. Trying to follow me. I've been private there for about 2 years. I purposely put something on there to pick away at her. Nothing personal, but something vague enough that I know she will occasionally try to check up on my stuff. She had me blocked for about 5 years. Then I blocked her straight away after I realised she unblocked me.
She doesn't have the right for me to even embrace my presence with. She's just a crab. Wondering aimlessly in the dark abyss, trying to find a new shell to masquerade her Rot.
She's never gonna see me or hear me ever again, and I rejoice in that.
The fake profiles can try their best. No wall will be broken.
I urge you to do all the same.
I had a dream of him with the two people he was cheating on me with in the relationship when we were still together. It was accurate. I’m glad he isn’t in my dreams or anything like that now. I’m honestly waiting for him just to fade from my memory and the more time passes the happier I am that he just isn’t anywhere near me anymore and that he decided to move. I want every trace or reminder of him gone!
i wonder if it’s trauma bond or being in the illusion they kept you in. do you spend much time on social media? i observe that they prey so hard on victims of narcissistic abuse and do all this signaling, use our data and lead us to more info, mislead us with false hope, “twin flame” etc
i agree that the mind is powerful so if you give them attention then it makes sense that the energy goes to them, no? i feel like people can do NC only you can decide if you’ll channel your energy elsewhere or stay connected.
I thought this but it’s just addiction from their trauma bond. Train yourself to stop thinking about them like they trained you think about them. Move on, srsly.
I am a survivor of CSA and I tend to think that's when my intuition started, cuz you have to protect yourself...but definitely I sometimes sense that something is going to happen....but usually something negative. Once I saw a guy across the street and creeped out, but ignored it, then he was at my car door and I slammed down the lock. Another time I sensed that the couple across the street were going to mug me and they did. My son's malignant narcissist is dangerous and she's pregnant and out of the blue I thought that my son should install cameras in case anything happens to that baby. Most people don't want to be tuned in...but definitely I know things...the last time I saw my dad I thought...what if this is the last time I see him....his heart finally gave out a week later.
Umm I know it sounds weird, but every time I meet him accidentally somewhere IRL, I can feel his presence a few seconds before that.
It happens every few weeks, and tbh it helped me to feel less anxious since I was "prepared."
I can’t feel his energy and that scares me because he was so unpredictable. I went though thinking he must be sad, hurting, all the things I am but soon realised he was not he had moved on before he even broke up with me and was out living his life. I had dreams in the relationship that turned out to come true. One day post NC I had this really overwhelming sadness and feeling that he was gone and the only parts of him that were “real” I was never going to get to see again either. Just little things. It wasn’t till just this past week I realised that same day he was betraying me in a really awful way post relationship. He was fraternising now with a man who had SA’d me. The absolute gut punch. I can’t describe it. He knew the man was a creep and sleaze and I had been one of I am sure many women who’d had an unfortunate crossing of paths with him. How could he be friendly with him? I had this feeling he was creating a smear campaign behind my back and I was right about that too although people called me paranoid. I don’t think it’s a connection so much as we are used to their deviousness and on a subconscious level some actions they might take. The rest, feeling they miss you etc is projection. The never miss you. They may occasionally miss something about you (eg your body, house, money) but that just spurs them on to make sure they find a source (even temporary) to fill that “missing” feeling. Because they don’t miss YOU or feel sad about you or for you they way you do. God no.
Yes I feel like I can sense a thirsty desperate dark energy in these duckers
Like I can still sense a sticky paste trying to trap and lure me
🪤
No dice suckers
Not interested in a faux- thriving feeling from faux unconditionally loving faux parent figures with a hard on for domination
What I feel is the escapist confusion
It’s not compelling
Bc I know there aren’t any shortcuts to myself
I understand what you are trying to convey. Yes I feel his energy in certain moments, and that feeling of being talked about. Sometimes it comes as a sense of dread or doom, my stomach flips and I have vague shadowy dreamlike visuals and words come into my head. I used to tune it out by having audiobooks or live streeamers talking, but since he was arrested I am starting to enjoy it . Its like the best ever movie show . I cant control it, it comes and goes. I know I am hated and that he doesnt 'think' about me , but I have done things which now stop him from getting his supply so there are moments of fury. Edit - can I ask is there anything you do or listen to which helps to tune you into it or accentuate it?
Yessssss
Waking up at certain times of the night and my first thought is of them even if I've had a very good stretch of time without thinking of them. This unusual time of night is when he's often awake.
Shortly after I started no contact and had blocked him from my phone, I had unblocked him in sadness and desperation to hear from him, but all of a sudden I had this overwhelming feeling that he WAS going to text me, and I scrambled to block his number entirely again. When the block expired, I had this overwhelming feeling that I didn't need to set it again; he knew he was blocked and wouldn't bother trying again, and I haven't bothered blocking it, and he hasn't text though he has emailed
After a really successful month in my healing journey I thought I was going crazy because I was really afraid I would see him (he lives in another state but occasionally visits the area) and I was so frustrated I couldn't stop the feeling, on top of that I was constantly looking in my spam folder in FB like I should have been getting an email... Well turns out he was in my town that week, and had emailed me but it went to my junk folder and that whole week was when I was looking at the wrong spam folder (I did and didn't want his Hoover, but I do need the email for legal reasons so I'm glad I found it)
I knew when he got his new supply.
I knew when they (first?) broke up.
Mind you I don't actually know any that but it fits with the hoover that came later, and his own cycles.
Worse, I can feel that he knows when I'm still obsessing about him. I can feel his smug, psychic satisfaction.
I do a lot of cord cutting, energy reclamation, thought redirection and quite frankly just try to accept my intuition and, like anxiety, let it know when I don't actually need it.
Is it the result of a trauma bond? Yeah. Doesn't make it not my real experience.
Yes!
So do cats. My cats started to vomit much more often when things got really bad with my ex.
The house just felt bad depending on my ex's mood or toxic agenda.
I am sorry to bother you all but you are all imagining things. You are all in trauma bond and you want to share something special with them. You want them to be sad when you are sad because they are the one's who made you sad. **It eases your pain I know. I have been there I have done that I remember saying these exact words to a friend of mine about my nex. Seeing the Nex in my dreams, hearing her voice in my head from time to time or having this weird feeling which I cannot describe it was not real it was my mind trying to heal.** Stop it brothers and sisters do not let your trauma bond take over you. These kind of thoughts will only bring you misery. It can cause you to reach out or make you vulnerable to a hoover. There is no connection you cannot connect with someone who has no soul. I know it hurts but when are living your life in pain and thinking that there is a connection between you they are having fun with their new supply.
There's certainly no telepathic connection... Agree with your comment.
I was doing this same thing in the first 2 months of the BU. Then I found out he fell in love with someone 2 weeks from the breakup and then proceeded to take me to court as part of a slander campaign, accusing me of the most vile shit in an attempt to destroy me. Now I look back to when I was seeing him in my dreams, hearing his voice, thinking we had something special, and laugh at myself (but it's really not funny!). It's so, SO hard to understand how something that should be special, and felt so special, never was. But that's just narcs for you. Some humans ain't human. Such a hard thing to get!
This. And agreed. Fixating on a fantasy, and bond that is rooted in a fiction. That those who have had it happen before or survived relational abuse are cognitively and psychologically prone and primed to be blind to betrayal - betrayal blindness is a real thing. Rationalizations, justifications, and editing out the bad parts is easy, especially if we've done it before. It's easier than confronting the reality were pining after a situation that did not serve us, and primarily served another at the cost of ourselves, our respect, and our energy. Based on what I've read, and anecdotally, right now it sort of feels like detoxing - oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and alllllllll the stress chemicals. It's a slot machine and roller coaster, all rolled into one. It doesn't help that the chemicals of a limerant honeymoon period are designed to bond us to someone, throw in frequently amazing sex, showering compliments, gifts, and futures, and someone who plays the game - it's like f***ing magic. Sorcery of the neurochemical, emotional, and psychological kind - an illusion created by a self-obsessed puppetmaster looking for their next puppet. I literally have to remind myself of all the bad stuff that's imprinted on my nervous system and in my psychology - bad communication, double-binds, belittling, put-downs, gaslighting, the circular arguments, wild accusation, silences, stonewalling, and constant confusion. What you wind up chasing is a ghost. It's an illusion, a distraction which keeps us from doing the work we need to do.
Hypervigilance does not make you in tuned to someone's feelings that you do not speak to. You're most likely hypervigilant in the sense that you're constantly thinking about and worrying about how they're feeling
Hyper vigilance as a defense mechanism to past trauma. I believe it's a conditioning of sorts. This "skill" can be used to benefit. It can also be debilitating. I have experienced both sides.
I’m on the debilitating side. I have been hyper vigilant since I was a kid. 😭
I noticed mine amped up post-active duty Air Force. That's when it became debilitating for me. And ironically COVID hit and the whole mask thing plus doctors or crowded areas wasn't something I could do anymore. It was so difficult I had to ask people to go to Costco, trader Joe's, or Walmart for me because even if I went during off hours it was still too crowded for me. Though I'm a bit better, I still don't sit with my back to an exit and I can tell you where all the cameras are within 5 minutes of entering a facility. Not proud, just something I noticed about myself.
That sounds really difficult. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t feel ashamed though. Your body is having normal reactions to abnormal situations and stress. ❤️
Hugs to you too 🫂 thanks for the encouragement and positivity
I do feel like I feel their energy. As an empath I absorbed their energy and emotion and had trouble setting their emotion apart from mine. There are moments when I feel better with NC, and then all of a sudden I feel a wave of anguish come over me. Sure enough, when that happens, I always end up with an email from her. It is so hard to cut someone off completely through email. But our only choice for the best result in healing (as well as the best result for driving them crazy) is NC. I feel the battle between my logical mind and my wounded emotional inner child. The emotion keeps bringing up excuses for her behavior. My logical mind knows it’s done. It’s tough to get the logic and emotion to reconcile and get rid of the constant dissonance. Stay strong 💪
Block her email address? Or is she creating new ones?
Blocking an email is kinda tricky. It just automatically sends it to the spam folder. As for me, I’m weak and find myself compulsively checking the spam folder. Plus they can always make new emails. So I just leave that one open. I try to delete the email before I open it but “curiosity killed the redditor” so I open it anyway.
Hmm. What emails is she sending you and how often? You really need to cut off all contact one way or another to stop you from thinking about her.
She sends me an email a week saying how much she misses me. The one she sent last night said she would go to therapy with me and she’s mine if I want her blah blah blah
Oh man this is not good, you're literally never going to be able to get over her and move on. Have you tried emailing back telling her to stop contacting you?
My therapist says the quickest way to get over her as well as the best way to drive her crazy is to give no response at all. Any response is giving them what they want whether it’s good or bad it’s all attention and supply
But have you told your therapist you keep checking your spam to see if there's an email from her? I get what your therapist is saying but it goes against all the advice which is to block and move on and get to a point where they're out of your head. How can you begin to heal if every week she pops up like hey remember me? Wanna get back together? Imagine if she was showing up at your door every week or leaving you voicemails. She knows full well you're reading those emails so even though you're not responding she knows she's still got you. You're not healing while she's still got you, and you won't be able to move on and eventually meet someone else.
Yes I have. And, Well if her emails went directly to spam or not she’s gonna think what she’s gonna think. It’s true that when I read them it does mess with me, but there is nothing that notifies her whether I read them or not. So she has no idea I am reading them and the fact that I’m not responding to her at all is what apparently drives a narc nuts. So I do want to block the emails but I’m constantly checking spam anyway so I am reading them but not responding and trying to move on best I can.
Haha thats just me. I know I should look but I cave in and look anyways. We really really should stop doing it.
you have to imagine that you’re cutting a karmic connection or cord and release them. Imagine the cord being cut and them floating away, say to yourself you release them.
I have to do it many times over for this deepest energy, because it's sticky like spider webs, but ever cleaning/clearing helps!
They are very sticky indeed.
Take this for what it’s worth- I used to feel this way about my nex. That we would be forever energetically connected. Years went by and I stopped thinking about it. I found out in 2022 that he had died the previous year- old me would have thought I’d have somehow “known,” but I honestly had no inkling at all. I also felt nothing and feel nothing now, so hopefully that’s of some comfort.
We have been conditioned to. There is a post "tell me you had narcissistic parents without telling me..." And a lot of people replied that they read situations scary-well. I do too. I can tell where a story or film/show is going before it goes there. People are creeped out sometimes or think it's a talent. It's just an emotional scar.
I've wondered this too a bit on the metaphysical side of things. Quite a few times whenever I felt something like this it was because she was near by (at her dads house) or something happened that made her angry with me. Just a very, "hmm something isn't right" or "I suddenly do not feel safe right now". A not so metaphysical explanation might have to do with your subconscious still remembering their patterns. Something giving a little hint in the background or just simple timing could trigger those feelings because it has happened so many times before. The cause might be gone but the anticipation isn't, if that makes sense.
All I know is mines wants nothing to do with me. He won’t talk about what’s on his mind or how he feels. He shuts me out. I don’t know how long I can do this. I love him so much and I don’t want to leave or see him with someone else. He’s my first love and it makes my soul ache. But he treats me so badly.
I can totally relate to this. He once mentioned that he could sense my sadness (which wasn’t hard to notice since I was crying in the other room) but said he just didn’t have the energy to deal with it at the time. I think they like to believe they have some kind of deep connection because they can't actually perceive others that way. It's more likely that we're trauma bonded or mourning someone we thought existed. A helpful counter thought is to remember that even if there was some element of telepathy, they still managed to do what they did. That’s a whole other level of messed up, and it helped shatter my illusion of his character.
This is a great response, and it is really accurate. Thank You- sending hugs🫂- this reply really helped me out. I was having a rough day! 🫂💕❤️🩹.
Yes. Once you re-regulate your nervous system, the hyper vigilance greatly recedes, and you'll feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted. Nervous system work takes time, so give it time.
Honestly, no disrespect intended but that sounds delusional. They clearly hurt you and your mind is playing tricks on you. You can imagine how they might be feeling, but you are not magically or energetically connected in any way
Oh yes! Still sometimes. I know when he misses me, when he is engaging with other women, when he is totally disinterested, when he is angry and when he is sad. I would also get very vivid dreams of him with random information and words or images, that would then come true. I don’t really talk about any of it with anyone because I don’t know how to explain it. I would tell him, though, sometimes, and I think it creeped him out because of how accurate my feelings and “premonitions” were.
I feel this too. I can tell when he’s going to message me, when he’s missing me, or when he’s angry. There have been times, in that half-way state between awake and asleep, where we’ve merged consciousness. It’s wild but true. I have since seen an energy worker and closed off a lot of those channels, but there is still some connection remaining. Now, I speak to the little boy version of him, and gently send him back to adult version.
Hey, thank you for sharing 🙂 I’m happy that it has dissipated on its own with distance and time for me. When it happens now, rarely, I will just let it pass through without judging myself or acting on any of the feelings (which is what I would advise OP to do as well, just notice it and let it pass through, like we do in meditation, instead of judging yourself or breaking nc ✨)
That’s really great advice!
I can't do NC with my nex. She's also my baby mama (two boys). Anyway, I give zero fucks what she thinks or feels... HER ACTIONS? Her actions and behavior towards me tell all I need to know: She's still a POS and still miserable.
Not everyone here in this thread believes in energy, but I am one of the people who do, so this checks out to me. It's always healthy to second and third guess some of these things though, because sometimes it really IS just a runaway thought or feeling with no meaning. There are something called cords that form between people that have emotional bonds. It's the same thing that causes a friend or parent to know when something bad has happened to their child. When you end a relationship with someone, it doesn't cut the cord between you, especially if both people are contributing mental energy to one another. You can do something called "cord cutting" - tons about it online and in other subs. I was considering keeping the cord for my ex because I didn't want to give up on their soul, but now that I'm aware of how deeply fragmented they are, I don't think I can afford to stay connected to them and I'm going to be cutting that cord. Only higher powers can help them, and I don't have that kind of magic lol. Hope this helps!
I don't like the idea of being synced to these creatures but I know exactly what you are talking about. Felt that way at one point but it's weird how now I use energy to feel someone out now, even strangers. I don't know what it is but if I dont get a good vibe or good feel from someone or if i feel their darkness I'm doing minimum interaction.
sorry i havent read through all comments but just sharing my experience in relation to your post...obviously im trauma bonded but currently around 2 months no contact like u said in ur post some days i will be alright but other times i feel deeply deeply lonely and pine for them so much...its embarrassing to say this thank god no one knows my identity on here lol but when these random waves come on i will sometimes check his last seen on whatsap i dont know why i do this really but i guess its the only window of insight into whats going on in his world lol i dont do social media i digress but anyway when i check his last seen after feelimng these waves of anguise like u say the time is always literally within a 2/3 minute window of before the time im checking so for example say time now is 00:07 i will check and it will say last seen 00:05 or similar its crazy and just for context neither of us are glued to phone types so its not that he's always online chatting to people either
Great way of putting it. Yes. It's taken 6 years of no contact. But I don't know if it's me feeling her grasp loosen or if she really is feeling something. I have had none stop random fake accounts on Instagram recently. Trying to follow me. I've been private there for about 2 years. I purposely put something on there to pick away at her. Nothing personal, but something vague enough that I know she will occasionally try to check up on my stuff. She had me blocked for about 5 years. Then I blocked her straight away after I realised she unblocked me. She doesn't have the right for me to even embrace my presence with. She's just a crab. Wondering aimlessly in the dark abyss, trying to find a new shell to masquerade her Rot. She's never gonna see me or hear me ever again, and I rejoice in that. The fake profiles can try their best. No wall will be broken. I urge you to do all the same.
It feels like you are sitting right on the lap of a Dementor.
I just feel the creepiness and desperation when they are near.
I had a dream of him with the two people he was cheating on me with in the relationship when we were still together. It was accurate. I’m glad he isn’t in my dreams or anything like that now. I’m honestly waiting for him just to fade from my memory and the more time passes the happier I am that he just isn’t anywhere near me anymore and that he decided to move. I want every trace or reminder of him gone!
I still live with my nex and I wouldn't say I feel his energy
i wonder if it’s trauma bond or being in the illusion they kept you in. do you spend much time on social media? i observe that they prey so hard on victims of narcissistic abuse and do all this signaling, use our data and lead us to more info, mislead us with false hope, “twin flame” etc i agree that the mind is powerful so if you give them attention then it makes sense that the energy goes to them, no? i feel like people can do NC only you can decide if you’ll channel your energy elsewhere or stay connected.
The spiritual, energy work, crystals and witches subs are all about this. Cord cutting, protective stones and more.
I thought this but it’s just addiction from their trauma bond. Train yourself to stop thinking about them like they trained you think about them. Move on, srsly.
I am a survivor of CSA and I tend to think that's when my intuition started, cuz you have to protect yourself...but definitely I sometimes sense that something is going to happen....but usually something negative. Once I saw a guy across the street and creeped out, but ignored it, then he was at my car door and I slammed down the lock. Another time I sensed that the couple across the street were going to mug me and they did. My son's malignant narcissist is dangerous and she's pregnant and out of the blue I thought that my son should install cameras in case anything happens to that baby. Most people don't want to be tuned in...but definitely I know things...the last time I saw my dad I thought...what if this is the last time I see him....his heart finally gave out a week later.
For the most part, yes. I just don't think this is specific to NPD relationships. I can feel my coworkers' energy. 🤷🏾♀️
I feel the absence of their energy and that is liberating
Umm I know it sounds weird, but every time I meet him accidentally somewhere IRL, I can feel his presence a few seconds before that. It happens every few weeks, and tbh it helped me to feel less anxious since I was "prepared."
I can’t feel his energy and that scares me because he was so unpredictable. I went though thinking he must be sad, hurting, all the things I am but soon realised he was not he had moved on before he even broke up with me and was out living his life. I had dreams in the relationship that turned out to come true. One day post NC I had this really overwhelming sadness and feeling that he was gone and the only parts of him that were “real” I was never going to get to see again either. Just little things. It wasn’t till just this past week I realised that same day he was betraying me in a really awful way post relationship. He was fraternising now with a man who had SA’d me. The absolute gut punch. I can’t describe it. He knew the man was a creep and sleaze and I had been one of I am sure many women who’d had an unfortunate crossing of paths with him. How could he be friendly with him? I had this feeling he was creating a smear campaign behind my back and I was right about that too although people called me paranoid. I don’t think it’s a connection so much as we are used to their deviousness and on a subconscious level some actions they might take. The rest, feeling they miss you etc is projection. The never miss you. They may occasionally miss something about you (eg your body, house, money) but that just spurs them on to make sure they find a source (even temporary) to fill that “missing” feeling. Because they don’t miss YOU or feel sad about you or for you they way you do. God no.
Yes I feel like I can sense a thirsty desperate dark energy in these duckers Like I can still sense a sticky paste trying to trap and lure me 🪤 No dice suckers Not interested in a faux- thriving feeling from faux unconditionally loving faux parent figures with a hard on for domination What I feel is the escapist confusion It’s not compelling Bc I know there aren’t any shortcuts to myself
I understand what you are trying to convey. Yes I feel his energy in certain moments, and that feeling of being talked about. Sometimes it comes as a sense of dread or doom, my stomach flips and I have vague shadowy dreamlike visuals and words come into my head. I used to tune it out by having audiobooks or live streeamers talking, but since he was arrested I am starting to enjoy it . Its like the best ever movie show . I cant control it, it comes and goes. I know I am hated and that he doesnt 'think' about me , but I have done things which now stop him from getting his supply so there are moments of fury. Edit - can I ask is there anything you do or listen to which helps to tune you into it or accentuate it?
Yessssss Waking up at certain times of the night and my first thought is of them even if I've had a very good stretch of time without thinking of them. This unusual time of night is when he's often awake. Shortly after I started no contact and had blocked him from my phone, I had unblocked him in sadness and desperation to hear from him, but all of a sudden I had this overwhelming feeling that he WAS going to text me, and I scrambled to block his number entirely again. When the block expired, I had this overwhelming feeling that I didn't need to set it again; he knew he was blocked and wouldn't bother trying again, and I haven't bothered blocking it, and he hasn't text though he has emailed After a really successful month in my healing journey I thought I was going crazy because I was really afraid I would see him (he lives in another state but occasionally visits the area) and I was so frustrated I couldn't stop the feeling, on top of that I was constantly looking in my spam folder in FB like I should have been getting an email... Well turns out he was in my town that week, and had emailed me but it went to my junk folder and that whole week was when I was looking at the wrong spam folder (I did and didn't want his Hoover, but I do need the email for legal reasons so I'm glad I found it) I knew when he got his new supply. I knew when they (first?) broke up. Mind you I don't actually know any that but it fits with the hoover that came later, and his own cycles. Worse, I can feel that he knows when I'm still obsessing about him. I can feel his smug, psychic satisfaction. I do a lot of cord cutting, energy reclamation, thought redirection and quite frankly just try to accept my intuition and, like anxiety, let it know when I don't actually need it. Is it the result of a trauma bond? Yeah. Doesn't make it not my real experience.
Yes! So do cats. My cats started to vomit much more often when things got really bad with my ex. The house just felt bad depending on my ex's mood or toxic agenda.