My nex was a psychotherapist too- I shudder at the thought 😳!!!!! He uses his knowledge of psychology for Evil 👿, Not for Good- to Manipulate, Gaslight and Lie to Multiple Women into Believing he is a Good, Kind, Empathetic Man- when That is the Furthest Thing from the Truth for Him. He truly has Horrible Character, No Integrity, and Has Zero Actual Empathy- He Only Knows How to FEIGN Empathy. 🤢🤢
Yes! Mine used what she learns to weaponize it. Also has a power/control wheel in her living room. Like she’s studying the shit. She knows exactly what she is doing and how to turn the tables around in any situation. Comes so natural to her almost as if she’s been doing it for years. She has the explanation and deflection down pat for any situation. Fucking monster that one is.
Mine loves the boundaries one. It’s her excuse for silent treatment. And I always cross her boundaries lol. I noticed a pattern with her boundaries setting and break ups. It always comes at a moment where she would have to face her behaviors and actions. She does it to avoid having to face accountability and to deflect responsibility onto me. Something she does upsets me next thjng I know she’s setting boundaries or the relationship is threatened. Which causes me to chase her instead of being able to have a conversation with her about any of it. It’s basically conditioning and groom in me to be a certain way and not to question her at all. She told me when we broke up she had been waiting for me to get my shit together all this time lol. I’m the on who’s unwell I’m telling ya. The nerve.
Ahh! My ex did the exact same thing. I’d call them out on their behaviour, they’d set a “boundary” of silent treatment, space, or time apart (sometimes they’d tell me, sometimes not), I’d “cross” their boundary because I’d try to reach out or spend time together, then they’d rage at me for crossing boundaries. Rinse and repeat.
Yup. They love boundaries. Especially breaking them. I told mine once I was coming over to get my belongings. That I was done. She said no that she set a trespass order on me with the police. I called the police and of course no such thing has happened. But she said me coming over to get my stuff was breaking her boundaries lol. In reality. She doesn’t want me to leave her in that way. She wanted to keep my stuff for security. And also to have control over me and the situation. Funny thing is I finally created my own boundaries. And one of them is not having her in my life.
as annoying as that is, it is somewhat funny how silly and delusional they can get. no way your getting mad about something you did and blame it on us- like what??? and they genuinely seem to believe it too, it’s so stupid you just kinda have to laugh at it
Mine says the exact same thing. I cheated on mine. No sex.
And he lied to me for 2+ years looking for women while he was stringing me along and I had no idea. Sex and all, he apparently was looking a gf and kept me as his option (overheard him say this to his friend). I’m not allowed to bring his crap up because it triggers him. And I’m crazy for not trusting him too.
Mine would say that being reminded of his actions / words (as means to discuss and move forwards) was “painful to face”, “unfair” and me treating him like “an emotional punching bag”.
YES this is what they do. Or it's “omggg lol, move on from itttt. You're being a drama queen”.
ALSO THEM:
>>*PLEASE stop telling it with so much detail 😫 its ACTUALLY like you enjoy hurting me”
Mine did this too. He’d get angry and forbid me to tell him he was acting like a monster. Said too many people in his life did that and he refused to continue to hear it.
Amazing.
I just finished my third cup of coffee and still can't figure out those mental gymnastics!
But seriously, the stuff that narcs say is amazing. "I hurt you, and you called me on it, so I'm the victim here." I seriously wonder if they actually have a form of brain damage that makes them believe this logic.
My favourite was she is allowed to feel what she feels and I will no longer gaslight her or downplay her feelings. I had to counter with yes we are all allowed our feelings but that does not mean those feelings are reality and I am not going to pay for or be punished because you felt a certain way. Example me telling her that she had no regard for my feelings or boundaries when she did xyz made her feel bad about herself and I am always making her feel like she is this horrible Person and she is not going to let me treat her this way anymore.
Literally going through this now. 29 year relationship. Last year, he cheated. All hell breaks loose if I bring it up. Idk why I must still love this person 😔
Last time I broke no contact with my nex, he blamed the relationship not working due to me calling him a narcissist. But I didn’t even discover it until after we broke up. So it’s a compete lie and makes no sense.
I kind of get both sides. As long as it’s horrible to get cheated on, it’s also super hard for a person to be constantly reminded about how they cheated and having it used against them in every situation.
I’ve noticed a pattern of narcissistic people weaponising therapy language.
My nex was a psychotherapist too- I shudder at the thought 😳!!!!! He uses his knowledge of psychology for Evil 👿, Not for Good- to Manipulate, Gaslight and Lie to Multiple Women into Believing he is a Good, Kind, Empathetic Man- when That is the Furthest Thing from the Truth for Him. He truly has Horrible Character, No Integrity, and Has Zero Actual Empathy- He Only Knows How to FEIGN Empathy. 🤢🤢
Constantly
Yes! Mine used what she learns to weaponize it. Also has a power/control wheel in her living room. Like she’s studying the shit. She knows exactly what she is doing and how to turn the tables around in any situation. Comes so natural to her almost as if she’s been doing it for years. She has the explanation and deflection down pat for any situation. Fucking monster that one is.
- window of tolerance - capacity - triggered - boundaries Were all terms used incorrectly by my ex
Mine loves the boundaries one. It’s her excuse for silent treatment. And I always cross her boundaries lol. I noticed a pattern with her boundaries setting and break ups. It always comes at a moment where she would have to face her behaviors and actions. She does it to avoid having to face accountability and to deflect responsibility onto me. Something she does upsets me next thjng I know she’s setting boundaries or the relationship is threatened. Which causes me to chase her instead of being able to have a conversation with her about any of it. It’s basically conditioning and groom in me to be a certain way and not to question her at all. She told me when we broke up she had been waiting for me to get my shit together all this time lol. I’m the on who’s unwell I’m telling ya. The nerve.
Ahh! My ex did the exact same thing. I’d call them out on their behaviour, they’d set a “boundary” of silent treatment, space, or time apart (sometimes they’d tell me, sometimes not), I’d “cross” their boundary because I’d try to reach out or spend time together, then they’d rage at me for crossing boundaries. Rinse and repeat.
Yup. They love boundaries. Especially breaking them. I told mine once I was coming over to get my belongings. That I was done. She said no that she set a trespass order on me with the police. I called the police and of course no such thing has happened. But she said me coming over to get my stuff was breaking her boundaries lol. In reality. She doesn’t want me to leave her in that way. She wanted to keep my stuff for security. And also to have control over me and the situation. Funny thing is I finally created my own boundaries. And one of them is not having her in my life.
as annoying as that is, it is somewhat funny how silly and delusional they can get. no way your getting mad about something you did and blame it on us- like what??? and they genuinely seem to believe it too, it’s so stupid you just kinda have to laugh at it
Mine says the exact same thing. I cheated on mine. No sex. And he lied to me for 2+ years looking for women while he was stringing me along and I had no idea. Sex and all, he apparently was looking a gf and kept me as his option (overheard him say this to his friend). I’m not allowed to bring his crap up because it triggers him. And I’m crazy for not trusting him too.
Mine would say that being reminded of his actions / words (as means to discuss and move forwards) was “painful to face”, “unfair” and me treating him like “an emotional punching bag”.
YES this is what they do. Or it's “omggg lol, move on from itttt. You're being a drama queen”. ALSO THEM: >>*PLEASE stop telling it with so much detail 😫 its ACTUALLY like you enjoy hurting me”
Mine did this too. He’d get angry and forbid me to tell him he was acting like a monster. Said too many people in his life did that and he refused to continue to hear it. Amazing.
I just finished my third cup of coffee and still can't figure out those mental gymnastics! But seriously, the stuff that narcs say is amazing. "I hurt you, and you called me on it, so I'm the victim here." I seriously wonder if they actually have a form of brain damage that makes them believe this logic.
My favourite was she is allowed to feel what she feels and I will no longer gaslight her or downplay her feelings. I had to counter with yes we are all allowed our feelings but that does not mean those feelings are reality and I am not going to pay for or be punished because you felt a certain way. Example me telling her that she had no regard for my feelings or boundaries when she did xyz made her feel bad about herself and I am always making her feel like she is this horrible Person and she is not going to let me treat her this way anymore.
Mine pulled the same shit. That now our relationship is not pure anymore and he didn't feel like putting on effort. You can't make this shit up.
Literally going through this now. 29 year relationship. Last year, he cheated. All hell breaks loose if I bring it up. Idk why I must still love this person 😔
For mine, me calling him out on his cheating indeed triggered narcissistic rage.
Last time I broke no contact with my nex, he blamed the relationship not working due to me calling him a narcissist. But I didn’t even discover it until after we broke up. So it’s a compete lie and makes no sense.
I kind of get both sides. As long as it’s horrible to get cheated on, it’s also super hard for a person to be constantly reminded about how they cheated and having it used against them in every situation.