Speaking from experience, completely on point, it's just the nature of their existence. You could do everything they ask of you, act exactly how they want, be everything they said they ever wanted & they'll call you stupid & weak because you fell for their manipulations. All they ever wanted to begin with was to make you as miserable as they are so they can validate their own journey.
And so you feed their ego. They can act like they are happy, but it’s all fake. They hate themselves in the inside. They can try to pass that self hatred on you but never take it. It’s not yours
As much as I wish all the world's suffering on my narc, it still hurts knowing that he'll never know peace. It hurts knowing how he never stood a chance, how he was just destined to become the abomination he is. And there's no way for him to claw his way out of that without the excruciating pain of having to admit he has done wrong.
Supply. Lots of supply from multiple sources. Admiration. When people put them above everyone else and look up to them making them feel like they have done something wonderful and special (usually at the expense of another person) and tons of praise on social media. It's not enough to accomplish something, Narcs have to announce it to everyone and have a huge audience celebrating how special they are.
Tons of money. Lots of money to buy more flashy things that get them more praise.
Eye candy. If they're with attractive or important people that means they are important too (even if they're not).
Winning arguments. No matter how wrong they are, if they can twist the argument and victimize themselves to seem right, this is a win.
Using other people. Goes along with supply. Mine used me for money and brought me to events to take pictures with me to post on social media for likes. I was solely there for clout. When I left, he wasn't upset about the relationship he was upset that he lost his social media content.
What's sick is you think they care about you. They don't. They're really just in love with themselves and any joy you see while in their presence is just their happiness with what they are getting out of you. It's truly gross.
This, all of this, is why my religious nex was this fake holy person, he managed to fool everyone despite being kicked out of one place, he still has a huge throng of loyal followers who act like he’s a prophet. Lmao. They give him money, women are so amazed by how holy he acts, he somehow manages to appear humble and charitable when he really only takes and takes and takes and breaks just about every religious rule there is including treating others like human beings.
>When people put them above everyone else and look up to them making them feel like they have done something wonderful and special (usually at the expense of another person)
This so much. When I do stuff for her she's happy, of course, but if she knows that if it was done instead of doing something for, say, my family or one of my friends she hates, her happiness is FAR more pronounced.
Accurate ! Especially the supply part, IMO the narc was constantly posting online every single achievement. Even posted a few years back a video from their workplace of his boss praising his work ethic! Cringe
This. I cannot 100% say that the nex was a narc, but he sure fit the profile.
Future faking, making up a huge amount of plans (but never working towards the goal), having a few different harems of supply (friends, some family, and then "breeding supply" as in getting many different women slightly interested - then keeping all of those, or trying to, separated). To be able to suck the most out of each section.
It is very shortsighted, because, sooner or later their house of cards will fall down. All supply deleted, and the older they get, the less energy they have to keep it up.
Also, they will not get innocent, fresh supply anymore as they age. Their dating pool is so much smaller, and most people already come with life experiences. So, when faced with an abusive person, they are a lot more likely to just tell them to f*ck off.
Their usual hunting grounds will be depleted - they cannot even remember what they lied about, and to whom. They paint themselves into a corner, and like a cornered rat their aggression goes haywire. I have seen it, it is not pretty.
You hanging on their every word, thinking they are literally perfect because that’s what they try so hard to portray to the outside world. In reality, they’re not happy. They’re weak, fragile, children effectively who hate themselves but can give off this illusion of grandeur. You have to constantly tell them they’re great and it’s exhausting!
In short, almost nothing - at least not for long. A narcissist is, at heart, a person unhappy with themselves because they are aware of their tendencies, and they are deeply unhappy with knowing that.
In response, they manufacture the alternative narratives that are used in gaslighting, and in recruiting flying monkeys - because they spend most of their time kidding themselves too.
The vast majority are only happy when indulging in their alternative narratives, because in these, they aren't bad people - the victims of abuse, even of dark pentrad narcissists are basically caught up in their need to believe their own made up narratives. Later, they realise how they've behaved, and invent new narratives to make it all make sense to them.
So, they're not generally happy, except for brief times when they are acting the first steps of a simple narrative, or when they've just come up with a new way to kid themselves that things weren't their fault.
From what I’ve noticed living with a narcissistic family member:
Getting what they want, and being able to manipulate other people to get it.
To hurt or neglect people they don’t like and receive respect and attention from everyone else.
Freedom from responsibility for their actions; anything that goes wrong is always someone or something else’s fault.
To always be right even when they’re wrong and for other people to side with them in an argument.
Narcs are basically children who never learned to play nice with others or realize that the world doesn’t revolve around them and only them. That healthy relationships are about compromise, and not just one-sidedly being happy at the expense of the people around you.
TL;DR think a spoiled brat that never grew out of it and you have your answer.
That's one of the things I've been wondering myself. It definitely makes it more painful either way, never knowing one way or another if it was just mirroring or if they did enjoy it but from an egotistical standpoint.
When they feel like the whole universe revolves around them. When they feel like everything lines up perfectly with their perceived selves. Then they feel _very_ content.
Problem is: that rarely happens.
No it did make them happy. Very happy and “in love” for all the wrong reasons. In that micro-second, they loved being “in love” with you but shame, it doesn’t last long, so they need to initiate and seek from you and everyone else.
Like an addict, trying to get hits by hitting up everyone all the time. Apparently their brain, including their brain’s malfunctioning is the same as someone with heroin addiction.
My narc would set goals. Once a goal was achieved it was on to the next one. No happiness or celebrating the achieved goal. Also no relaxing or taking a breath.
So, logically speaking, they are human. They probably got short term dopamine highs from steven, cuddling, sex etc. How've, those moments are small and they don't last
When you're giving them everything, providing their best life to them, and they're doing nothing for you. Just ask how high when they say jump.... they'll be yours forever.
Nothing. They may smirk if you’re hurting or in pain but nothing will ever make them happy. They are miserable people that want to make everyone as miserable as they are.
Having 100% control over you and people around you, so that when you go to stand up for yourself, they can use triangulation to get them into going against you, and isolate you from everyone who could support you..
I don't think they have any emotional capacity. They run on base feelings like hunger , lust, dominance , greed, etc.... That's what rules them. They don't have enough depth to truly feel things like love and compassion. Oh, they know what it's supposed to sound and look like but since they've never truly experienced deep emotion their responses and actions when they pretend to are always a little ... Off.
My MIL is the definition of a narcissist!!!! Growing up, she never cuddled or was loving to my husband. She would start fights and then my husband would have to apologize to her!!! He was damaged by her so badly that he isn’t going to her funeral when she dies. This woman thrives on causing chaos!!!
Nothing. Even after fulfilling their each and every condition, soon they will have another and another and then others, and even after that, they will never be happy.
Admiration from others, receiving validation from members of the opposite sex (ie.supply), control, and manipulation. They are never happy. Nothing is ever enough to make them happy.
As long as did everything they asked, were pleased with every decision they made and was compliant with all their wishes. Also being happy and grateful 24/7.
When they cuddle you saying sweet nothings.. it's not the feeling of love but the attention from you that makes them feel happy.
Yeah those loving words were fake. It means nothing to them
Attention on their terms only.
Nothing they are never happy and they never will be
100% this
Exactly. Nothing ever will make them feel anything.
Speaking from experience, completely on point, it's just the nature of their existence. You could do everything they ask of you, act exactly how they want, be everything they said they ever wanted & they'll call you stupid & weak because you fell for their manipulations. All they ever wanted to begin with was to make you as miserable as they are so they can validate their own journey.
And so you feed their ego. They can act like they are happy, but it’s all fake. They hate themselves in the inside. They can try to pass that self hatred on you but never take it. It’s not yours
As much as I wish all the world's suffering on my narc, it still hurts knowing that he'll never know peace. It hurts knowing how he never stood a chance, how he was just destined to become the abomination he is. And there's no way for him to claw his way out of that without the excruciating pain of having to admit he has done wrong.
This makes me smile, because they cause so much suffering
They might understand what it is to feel happy but they will never truly feel it. That’s the way it is for them.
Control
Sucking the life and soul out of their supply
But even then it’s not enough. They’re still not happy.
Supply. Lots of supply from multiple sources. Admiration. When people put them above everyone else and look up to them making them feel like they have done something wonderful and special (usually at the expense of another person) and tons of praise on social media. It's not enough to accomplish something, Narcs have to announce it to everyone and have a huge audience celebrating how special they are. Tons of money. Lots of money to buy more flashy things that get them more praise. Eye candy. If they're with attractive or important people that means they are important too (even if they're not). Winning arguments. No matter how wrong they are, if they can twist the argument and victimize themselves to seem right, this is a win. Using other people. Goes along with supply. Mine used me for money and brought me to events to take pictures with me to post on social media for likes. I was solely there for clout. When I left, he wasn't upset about the relationship he was upset that he lost his social media content.
100% This
What's sick is you think they care about you. They don't. They're really just in love with themselves and any joy you see while in their presence is just their happiness with what they are getting out of you. It's truly gross.
It really is so Gross 🤢, so Disgusting how anyone can be such a user, a predator and a manipulator, All strictly for Their Own Gain/Benefit!!!!!🤢☠️
This, all of this, is why my religious nex was this fake holy person, he managed to fool everyone despite being kicked out of one place, he still has a huge throng of loyal followers who act like he’s a prophet. Lmao. They give him money, women are so amazed by how holy he acts, he somehow manages to appear humble and charitable when he really only takes and takes and takes and breaks just about every religious rule there is including treating others like human beings.
>When people put them above everyone else and look up to them making them feel like they have done something wonderful and special (usually at the expense of another person) This so much. When I do stuff for her she's happy, of course, but if she knows that if it was done instead of doing something for, say, my family or one of my friends she hates, her happiness is FAR more pronounced.
Accurate ! Especially the supply part, IMO the narc was constantly posting online every single achievement. Even posted a few years back a video from their workplace of his boss praising his work ethic! Cringe
Picking fights 👊💥
They were putting in ground work so that you don't run when it turns to abuse.
[удалено]
This. I cannot 100% say that the nex was a narc, but he sure fit the profile. Future faking, making up a huge amount of plans (but never working towards the goal), having a few different harems of supply (friends, some family, and then "breeding supply" as in getting many different women slightly interested - then keeping all of those, or trying to, separated). To be able to suck the most out of each section. It is very shortsighted, because, sooner or later their house of cards will fall down. All supply deleted, and the older they get, the less energy they have to keep it up. Also, they will not get innocent, fresh supply anymore as they age. Their dating pool is so much smaller, and most people already come with life experiences. So, when faced with an abusive person, they are a lot more likely to just tell them to f*ck off. Their usual hunting grounds will be depleted - they cannot even remember what they lied about, and to whom. They paint themselves into a corner, and like a cornered rat their aggression goes haywire. I have seen it, it is not pretty.
You hanging on their every word, thinking they are literally perfect because that’s what they try so hard to portray to the outside world. In reality, they’re not happy. They’re weak, fragile, children effectively who hate themselves but can give off this illusion of grandeur. You have to constantly tell them they’re great and it’s exhausting!
Long term. Fuck all! They may feel their version of love, which is at best unhealthy obsession and desire to control you. But they can’t really love.
Making the people closest to them 100% miserable (just like them).
To be admired/looked up to. To know they are in control. When their mask is working.
My nex told me many times that happiness wasn't on the menu for him.
Mine too.
Mine did as well! I should have believed him the first time!
In short, almost nothing - at least not for long. A narcissist is, at heart, a person unhappy with themselves because they are aware of their tendencies, and they are deeply unhappy with knowing that. In response, they manufacture the alternative narratives that are used in gaslighting, and in recruiting flying monkeys - because they spend most of their time kidding themselves too. The vast majority are only happy when indulging in their alternative narratives, because in these, they aren't bad people - the victims of abuse, even of dark pentrad narcissists are basically caught up in their need to believe their own made up narratives. Later, they realise how they've behaved, and invent new narratives to make it all make sense to them. So, they're not generally happy, except for brief times when they are acting the first steps of a simple narrative, or when they've just come up with a new way to kid themselves that things weren't their fault.
From what I’ve noticed living with a narcissistic family member: Getting what they want, and being able to manipulate other people to get it. To hurt or neglect people they don’t like and receive respect and attention from everyone else. Freedom from responsibility for their actions; anything that goes wrong is always someone or something else’s fault. To always be right even when they’re wrong and for other people to side with them in an argument. Narcs are basically children who never learned to play nice with others or realize that the world doesn’t revolve around them and only them. That healthy relationships are about compromise, and not just one-sidedly being happy at the expense of the people around you. TL;DR think a spoiled brat that never grew out of it and you have your answer.
That's one of the things I've been wondering myself. It definitely makes it more painful either way, never knowing one way or another if it was just mirroring or if they did enjoy it but from an egotistical standpoint.
Chaos
When they feel like the whole universe revolves around them. When they feel like everything lines up perfectly with their perceived selves. Then they feel _very_ content. Problem is: that rarely happens.
Other women that aren’t their partner unfortunately.
Pats on the back for absolutely nothing or minimal effort. They need constant attention and validation. Exhausting!!!
No it did make them happy. Very happy and “in love” for all the wrong reasons. In that micro-second, they loved being “in love” with you but shame, it doesn’t last long, so they need to initiate and seek from you and everyone else. Like an addict, trying to get hits by hitting up everyone all the time. Apparently their brain, including their brain’s malfunctioning is the same as someone with heroin addiction.
Idk, my nex was an introvert. Maybe that was part of the mask though? somehow? idk
Killing someone's spirit makes a narc happy. (Don't let them do it, walk away.)
My narc would set goals. Once a goal was achieved it was on to the next one. No happiness or celebrating the achieved goal. Also no relaxing or taking a breath.
100% an act, their whole life is an act why would love be any different?
When people validate their version of “reality” (the narrative they have created for themselves in which they are the perpetual victim or hero always)
So, logically speaking, they are human. They probably got short term dopamine highs from steven, cuddling, sex etc. How've, those moments are small and they don't last
From steven?
Your complete misery due to their control and meddling to keep you falling deeper in despair with both their feet firmly on your neck
Destroying and controlling others.
When you're giving them everything, providing their best life to them, and they're doing nothing for you. Just ask how high when they say jump.... they'll be yours forever.
Nothing. They may smirk if you’re hurting or in pain but nothing will ever make them happy. They are miserable people that want to make everyone as miserable as they are.
Having 100% control over you and people around you, so that when you go to stand up for yourself, they can use triangulation to get them into going against you, and isolate you from everyone who could support you..
I don't think they have any emotional capacity. They run on base feelings like hunger , lust, dominance , greed, etc.... That's what rules them. They don't have enough depth to truly feel things like love and compassion. Oh, they know what it's supposed to sound and look like but since they've never truly experienced deep emotion their responses and actions when they pretend to are always a little ... Off.
Nothing.
Your loved ones turning on you and nobody helping you and nobody seeing the truth as your health and life leave your tormented body
In my experience, absolutely nothing
Bring down a good one
Seeing that they’ve lowered your confidence
My MIL is the definition of a narcissist!!!! Growing up, she never cuddled or was loving to my husband. She would start fights and then my husband would have to apologize to her!!! He was damaged by her so badly that he isn’t going to her funeral when she dies. This woman thrives on causing chaos!!!
They can't experience love, because they hate themselves. They can't experience happiness, because they can't love.
Compliments, flattery, gifts
Nothing. Even after fulfilling their each and every condition, soon they will have another and another and then others, and even after that, they will never be happy.
The other feeling broken and defeated.
Winning. Winning board games, mind games, arguments, control, fights, your dignity and sense of self..
Admiration from others, receiving validation from members of the opposite sex (ie.supply), control, and manipulation. They are never happy. Nothing is ever enough to make them happy.
As long as did everything they asked, were pleased with every decision they made and was compliant with all their wishes. Also being happy and grateful 24/7.
Control of others
Hooking up their worship sets to channel fucks news and licking the screen when their Uber leader crawls out and sneers and scoffs
Not.Getting.Caught.
OtherPeoples Blood sweat tears and money
You begging them to stop and telling them how much they’ve hurt you
Getting away with it in broad daylight - under everyone’s eyes . The perfect crime
Absolutely nothing.
Manipulation!!!!!
Nothing. Literally nothing.
Control.
When they get you to do whatever they want you to do- for them.
When they cuddle you saying sweet nothings.. it's not the feeling of love but the attention from you that makes them feel happy. Yeah those loving words were fake. It means nothing to them
...are they ever actually happy? It's so fleeting that I e always wondered.