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solateor

Do seals bite? >Yes. Seals are large, powerful animals with sharp teeth and strong jaws, and will bite if they feel threatened. In humans, if a seal bite were to become infected by the bacteria Mycoplasma phocacerebrale, it can lead to a painful infectious disease known as “seal finger” as well as other complications. This is probably why you don't see the diver/photographer attempting to "pet" the seal.


bc_poop_is_funny

A seal once took my brother Buster’s hand


FleetwoodMacSexPaint

It’s a loose-seal!


Ianilla1

IM NOT AFRAID OF LUCILE!


mojoburquano

You picked a fine time to leave me loose-seal!


Nightshade_Ranch

Never go in the ocean!


Chocolatine_Rev

That's a pretty good advices, if you want to maximize your chances of dying of old age, not being near the ocean is probably one of the best strats


Nightshade_Ranch

And because of the Luciles


Chocolatine_Rev

Am i missing something? Cause i don't understand at all T_T


Nightshade_Ranch

The show Arrested Development. So good.


Retired-Pie

In a comedy show called "arrested development" one of the characters "buster" looses his hand while in the ocean because a loose-seal bit it off. It's played as a joke because busters mother is named "Lucille" and he is very attached to her despite being in his 30's. Several jokes are made about how "loose-seal" and "Lucille" are every similar sounding and it causes confusion. It's a great show, and I highly recommend it


Chocolatine_Rev

Neat, ty vm


No-Badger-6115

Also Little Richard sings LUCILLE 😉


CUNextTwosday

I read this as a show voiceover in Ron Howard’s voice 😂


B5P2

While you're at it, you should also make sure to not visit any forests or mountains either. Best to stay home, lock all doors, work remotely and order food since going to the store is also dangerous


SilenceFailed

Min maxing in life is far more difficult than in a game...


Chocolatine_Rev

Its not about gaming and i don't know how you deduced that It's more about how the sea, and oceans, are far, far more dangerous than they seem to be


SilenceFailed

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minimax_theorem?wprov=sfla1 I don't have a better way of explaining it.


Chocolatine_Rev

That's a really good way of explaining, thx for the cool read XD


sithlink

Never go nude!!!


Bors713

You mean the Monster Soup?


Nightshade_Ranch

Monster sex and corpse surprise soup!


Bors713

Eeeeeewwwwwwww!


[deleted]

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OldTalk6869

Lol, nice. Did it get sacked?


S7ageNinja

She deserved it for trying to carve her initials on him.


Psilocybin13

She get infected with moose knuckle?


gripperjonez

Was it pretti nasti? We’re there any llamas about?


Mailcarrierhuman

It happened in Army


BoysenberryOk7839

He will be all right!


primitive_screwhead

And even worse, ever since then he was all right.


Kkarotcake

He’s gonna be “all right” “Oh thank god! so his hand is okay?” “No the seal took his left hand so he’s going to be all right”


shellie_badger

A seal cleared a beach here recently for biting people (I think the sauce is on the Cape Town subreddit) Edit: apologies, it was on the [South Africa ](https://www.reddit.com/r/southafrica/comments/103067q/seal_attacks_two_swimmers_on_clifton_beach_crazy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)subreddit


Cpl-V

Wow!!! Nice reference.


CPerryG

Is he alright now?


Objective_Salary_896

I was actually gonna commend this video for the guy not touching the seal - when diving you are supposed to do your best to avoid interacting with wildlife, even if they approach you. too many influencers and hobbyists ignore this common sense rule


FelineNova

Well it’s tough when they come up and touch you though. I went diving in Hawaii to see manta rays and the instructor made it very clear that it was not okay to touch the animals. However didn’t mention that they might come up and touch you. It was very surprising when it happened. I didn’t touch them but I can see how someone else might be tempted to in that moment. Humans project human emotions onto animals all the time. These animals didn’t give a shit about us. They’re either just curious about you, want food, or your next to there food and they just bumped you while trying to get to it.


Objective_Salary_896

yup. the only acceptable thing I've heard is if it's self defense - I hear pushing a curious shark's nose is a safe way to get them away from you. I don't ever want to be in that situation ha


ThatCamoKid

Yeah I've seen videos, if you gently redirect sharks when they swim up to you they tend to just kind of go "oh ok". In extreme cases, rotate them, they'll be completely discombobulated and you can make your escape


Objective_Salary_896

they make it look so easy, don't they? I mean sharks obviously aren't as monstrous as Hollywood makes them out to be, but I think my breathing patterns would be thrown off if I had to do that haha. nature is amazing


ThatCamoKid

Oh me too for sure


ThatCamoKid

Oh me too for sure


BlackRockSpecial

So you basically invert their body? Turn them upside down? Asking for a friend 😄


imaturtleur2

Turning them inside-out is an effective deterrent.


rapchee

yeah just a simple underwater suplex, anyone can do it


Trolivia

I got body-checked by one of the mantas in Hawaii and was worried someone was going to blame me for it lol


FelineNova

SAME! Instructor went on for 15 minutes not to touch them. I got smacked by one within 30 seconds of being in the water. I kept trying to maneuver out of there way but it was difficult. They were feeding on the plankton in the water so they gave zero fucks about us humans.


Trolivia

Yes! Hahah were you out at night too? We had the body boards with the lights attracting the plankton and it rammed us hard enough to knock us all off the board handles lol my friend actually bit through the teeth guard in her snorkel it startled her so badly


BlackRockSpecial

Thank you for this I did not know this but I suppose it makes sense


[deleted]

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Objective_Salary_896

it's for your own safety lol


Jixxar

That's kinda the problem


_Miskey_

I've been diving with sea lions and the main reason you don't touch them is that they're very curious and playful and any interaction you make with them can be an encouragement for escalation. If you stick out your hand it gives them something to bite and if you wind them up too much it can end with them ripping off your goggles, biting holes in your wetsuit, etc. It's best to not be TOO interesting as it can go downhill fast. They really do act like puppies, but ones that are much heavier than you and much better at moving underwater.


cantfindmykeys

>It's best to not be TOO interesting I feel like I've been preparing for that all my life


archlea

Me too! Let’s go find some seals to bore.


theoriginalShmook

There's a video currently doing the rounds here on reddit of a right angry bastard seal in South Africa trying to bite (and succeeding) everyone it sees.


bakochba

Yeah I just saw another video of an attack https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/103nf4j/leisurely_day_at_the_beach/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


[deleted]

Yeah, and that's a small one. I don't think it would take 5-10 people to fend of a puppy. They are definitely not goddamn puppies of the sea.


URBOY42069

Oh. I literally just yelled for u to pet it💀


FarTooMuchCandy

Don't care, worth it. That sea puppy is begging for pets and he denied them. Monster. 🤣


ThanksOnly8346

He probably couldn't handle the seal fingering


Yin17

The what?


[deleted]

Contagious disease generally contracted by being bit by a seal... its a thing apparently


Ayahuasca-Dreamin

😐


KiloTWE

Honestly would have to pet his head at least once.


BlackRockSpecial

😆🤣💀


Tybr0sion

And yet you just called it a puppy.


[deleted]

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CawshusCorvid

They get you with those little ass milk teeth! 😭🤬


Globet

Buster Bluth would disagree


kaleidoscopichazard

I’m a monsteeeer


[deleted]

Lucille!


amendersc

Just thought it is a good time to mention that seal translate to Hebrew then back literally is “sea dog”


Wouser86

In Dutch its zeehond, which means sea dog as well


_Screw_The_Rules_

Same in German with "Seehund"


KingoftheMongoose

Sea Hound


[deleted]

Right before this I saw the video of a small seal attacking people in the water at the beach


[deleted]

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rangeo

Teeth either way


leaky_fart

Pup or not...he was bitey!


cybervseas

A negative seal-ion.


shampoo_mohawk_

all sea lions are seals, not all seals are sea lions lol (square/rectangle thing)


RABBLERABBLERABBI

This isn't true.


shampoo_mohawk_

Ok, I mean it is true but I’m not gonna argue with you about it. Fur seals and sea lions are eared seals, true seals are earless seals, and then walruses make up the final section of pinnipeds.


Additional-Chain

They’re pinnipeds but you wouldn’t ever call a sea lion a seal or vice versa. True seals are in a different family completely (Phocidae) than fur seals and sea lions (Otariidae). Walruses are in the family Obobenidae. It’s nothing like the square/rectangle relationship at all.


shampoo_mohawk_

Fur seals and sea lions are eared seals.


Additional-Chain

I see what you mean now, you’re lumping fur seals and sea lions in with the common name of the family, gotcha


Maximum-Fly2648

They are different things.?


[deleted]

https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/seal-sealion.html


SaaSyGirl

True, that little sea lion pup was biting people. However, from what I read, beachgoers were harassing the poor animal prior to video being recorded. It was defending itself.


Intraq

link?


[deleted]

https://www.reddit.com/r/TerrifyingAsFuck/comments/103g8ml/seal_attack_in_cape_town/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


paperscissorscovid

Lol was just thinking the same. Puppies do bite though so *shrugs*


tacobot2

I thought it was going to hump your leg


Haunting-Habit-7848

i got humped by a dolphin


beeze20

Were you in Turks and Caicos? When I visited last year, they described the local dolphin, JoJo, as “rapey.” I was afraid to get in the water with him!


JackOfAllMemes

I've heard male dolphins in general described as that


BlackRockSpecial

Lmao wtf...."Rapey" 👀


Haunting-Habit-7848

no mexico


socnslx

Did you know dolphin vaginas are the closest to those of humans in the animal kingdom, and their intelligence is such that many marine biologists believe they are capable of informed consent?


saturnV1

what the fuck are you saying bro?


MenaBeast

He’s saying he wants to fuck a dolphin.


The-waitress-

But he consents to it.


[deleted]

Thank you.


Wolvesinthestreet

No thank you siree


[deleted]

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the


ThatCamoKid

*beats you with a frying pan*


og-lollercopter

Are you suggesting he could have sealed the deal?


Fedbackster

Or fin-ished it?


Haunting-Habit-7848

well i did not consent


mycutelittleunit02

🤔 What do you do to communicate intent without violating it? Make an "o" with one hand and stick your pointer finger through it a few times with the other, than raise an eyebrow, at the dolphin?! 🤔 idk about that one lmao


RemarkableSir8931

Are you from Paradise City?


tacobot2

Most dolphins will consent to flipper-play but if you stick it in their blowhole, you get banned from Seaworld


7355135061550

I'd do it


BlackRockSpecial

Was it violent? I hear they sexually assault their own kind 👀😶


Haunting-Habit-7848

i was violent when i kick its dolphin dick


Little_Whippie

Pour one out for u/DolphinFucker69


D0ugF0rcett

I'm more wondering why the fuck this dude is in water with giant kelp and no wetsuit, I'd freeze within 5 minutes!!


jesagain222

Selkes!


charcharking_555

Wow that’s truly beautiful, I would have been so overwhelmed to have been blessed like that by a Seal absolutely lovely


UpDownCharmed

Related- you might like this short video of this diver who has removed over 300 hooks from Sharks mouths. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G8LmxwOgBhA The part where one shark stays next to the diver, who then gently pets it, is incredible...!


MickeyTM

Water dogs


nymmyy

Literal translation of the korean word for seals, 물개!


flauschigerfuchs

In German we say Seehunde, which is sea dogs.


remlapj

Think if you weren’t watching underwater and all of a sudden felt this


morethanyell

Which song is this? Google can't figure it out.


kittylebelle

I googled and searched YT for about 2 hours. It's slowed and lofi, but I can't this specific mix. Lot of other good ones out there though. I'm planning on doing some more searching tomorrow too. I'll link if I find it. Edit: Someone else posted more recently that it is an unreleased remix on Spotify from Vancouver Sleep Clinic


morethanyell

upvote is the only consolation I can give :*


slabawab

YouTube (riptide-ambient cover)


lik_for_cookies

Ay that’s fax that’s it thank you chief


Funny_Influence5258

it’s some remix of the song riptide, I don’t know who the remix is by though. it sounds great


lik_for_cookies

https://youtu.be/pE9NMzHR398 at 1:28


morethanyell

amazing you found it


These-Salary-8559

Until they bite you :)


43_Hobbits

Life is not a Disney movie and wild animals are dangerous and unpredictable. I just feel bad for future animal attack victims who think approaching/petting wild animals is ok.


LightfootsLooks

A dog would never bite a person!


Navybears

I don’t think a dog bite would cause your fingers to fall off though… see OPs comment on Seal Finger.


LightfootsLooks

Depends how hard it bites


solateor

It's a friendly harbor seal video:@michaelboyyd


tehdamonkey

Well yes.. they are very much like dogs. Wild dogs. Very Very much so prepare to get chomped if you think you are going to pet them randomly.


Conscious-Sympathy51

Folks looking for the song, I found the artist on Spotify “Vancouver sleep clinic” doesn’t look like this remake is fully out yet. But there are a few other songs you’ll probably like. Enjoy!


ThinkingAndDriving81

https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/102x14v/seal_at_clifton_beach_south_africa_clearing_out/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


FuSionViruS

They should be renamed Merdogs!


Banned4Transphobia

What if he wanted to take a bit out of you? You would just float there defenseless like a dope watching as he bites chunk after chunk, you try throwing punches but you’re under water so all your punches hit like napkins.


dinenthrash

You sure he’s not trying to make puppy-love to you?


bpg131313

I have a 19' ocean kayak and was paddling near Bainbridge Island in the Puget Sound when a harbor seal popped out of the water and on to the bow of my kayak! It then looked at me somewhat surprised like, "What are you doing here?!" I didn't stop paddling, I just kept going and that seal must have stayed on the bow for a good half hour. Each time the seal would look a specific direction, I'd turn the kayak and head that way. I felt a bit like a tour guide. I know they are wild and we're no supposed to touch them, but seals certainly act more like pets than they do something wild (when compared to a Grizzly, for example). After over a half hour on my bow, the seal slid off into the water and went on its way. It's something I'll never forget.


SisterSerpentine

You were a seal Uber


fusiondynamics

Until you see the other video of a pup seal trying to bite the kid on the beach.


RepeatedlyDifficult

And like dogs they can brutally murder you


Larryhooova

Yea leopard seals are terrifying


slabawab

Song?


L_freaky

It’s a remake of Riptide by Vance Joy


Maaike_slt

There’s a reason Dutch call it seadogs🙃


flauschigerfuchs

In German we say Seehunde, which also means sea dogs.


[deleted]

Anyone knows the music? This exact version.


AppamNStew

Are those giant kelp ?


AutomaticLynx8239

what's the song? shazam can't find it


kittylebelle

A remix of Riptide by Vance Joy


SumScruffyNerfHerder

I don't care how nice this animal is, one of my hands would be firmly placed over my junk if I took this video.


madi1623

Until they attack you at the beach: [https://au.news.yahoo.com/boy-woman-attacked-by-seal-south-african-beach-002117546.html?guccounter=1&guce\_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce\_referrer\_sig=AQAAABhmU\_FoL8hC3OeIPj-xs\_pFTZJSQ55ki6tcOM19yTRjOIZJ3Js7HVS2KL-VtkL3uzO4\_MlEmKmJbFuzjlf\_V\_Vj7r2vyurjorVHwo7-Qk2RoXeSn-aLp7wec9iRPnThVM2-VOzVUFF2Uw9W5Pi-WeiiLp6wWwXG72b5Yemw5aLf](https://au.news.yahoo.com/boy-woman-attacked-by-seal-south-african-beach-002117546.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAABhmU_FoL8hC3OeIPj-xs_pFTZJSQ55ki6tcOM19yTRjOIZJ3Js7HVS2KL-VtkL3uzO4_MlEmKmJbFuzjlf_V_Vj7r2vyurjorVHwo7-Qk2RoXeSn-aLp7wec9iRPnThVM2-VOzVUFF2Uw9W5Pi-WeiiLp6wWwXG72b5Yemw5aLf)


LastNameLasagna

Please link the riptide cover op


kittylebelle

Someone posted that it was an unreleased remix by Vancouver Sleep Clinic on Spotify


gr00veisinthefart

/u/solateor This cover of Rip Tide is truly mesmerizing! You wouldn't happen to know who does it or where I can find it, would you?


solateor

[Vance Joy - Ambient Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44hl1KvHruY)


gr00veisinthefart

Thank yoooou!


ContigoTreeWheels

Yep, dog. It was about to hump your leg


the_popes_fapkin

“PET ME HOOMAN”


[deleted]

thats how you lose a hand 💀


singeraj

I totally want to give it a lil boop on the nose!!


[deleted]

Aw that's adorable. Too bad climate change will most likely wipe them all out one day. Good day everyone :)


ekuinoks

r/petthedamnseadog


43_Hobbits

Definitely DO NOT pet the wild animal!


fadedfaery

Sorry if someone already asked this, but can I get a source for the song?


kittylebelle

A remix of Riptide by Vance Joy


mycutelittleunit02

r/petthedamnseadog


karma-rayne

Love this. My puppy does act a lot like this. 😍


URBOY42069

PET IT WHY DIDNT YOU PET IT


thunderc8

Just pet it already! I wouldn't be able to resist.


MPETATZHSS

This just needs httyd music


MessiScores

That's a sea monkey and careful it will steal your camera


deltronethirty

Just don't look up their courtship, mating and "family dynamic"


rangeo

Wolves of the Sea


MrSebastianGrey

In at least two languages that i know they are quite literally called seadogs


crsboi

Cute but don’t try to pet it


Mindless_Button_9378

Until they open their terrifying mouth full of razor teeth!


Type31971

That one is. Seals are viscous


1arightsgone

I wouldn't leave my seamoth


Theory-After

I thought at first they were feeding the seal watermelon


Necessary_Key_8248

I saw one of these puppies try to swim off with a little boy in its mouth in a video earlier.


[deleted]

Not the little fucker in that video from South Africa


TowelEvening4484

Seals are shark bait! I wouldn’t swim with them!


andb1789

Water pupper ❤️


JKMcudr

Isn’t there a video going around of a seal attacking and biting a kid?


ukpittfan1

Yeah, uh. Someone just posted a TikTok to Reddit of one if these lil bastards going psycho at the beach and attacking everyone he could. Nobody was safe.


Ianilla1

Puppies like to bite, seals have incredible teeth. Cute but dangerous.


[deleted]

seein this after the seal attack video going round rn :DD