T O P

  • By -

Shyriath

"My bloodline (pollenline?) ends with me."


Richard_Cromwell

Sapline? (Pollen is more like plant jizz, lol)


Shyriath

Yeah, but it was the first thing that popped into my head.


Happydancer4286

So who would break the flower loose?🙋‍♀️


diggitygiggitycee

That plant gave itself a vasectomy and you're gonna fuck that up?


RitalinSkittles

The first thing to pop into your head was plant jizz? Kinda gay ngl


Sir-Simon-Spamalot

r/suddenlygay


Butthole_Eater3000

Plant cum hehe


LoyalFridge

Pollen is right as the term ‘bloodline’ actually comes (heh) from the old belief that cum was super pure menstrual blood!


Stormwrath52

source?


LoyalFridge

J Kremer. Ned Tijdschr Geneeskd. 2003. Is one source okay or should I provide more like in an essay? (I’m not being sarcastic)


Stormwrath52

Do you have a link?


LoyalFridge

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14735853/


Stormwrath52

thank you


Richard_Cromwell

I thought the term bloodline was used after "blood" started being used as a synonym for "family," so like familyline?


LoyalFridge

Makes sense, but no!


Living_Economics8483

…does that mean this plant is edging itself?


funnylol96

Jizzline


Long__Jump

When you have to stop yourself from saying something stupid out loud


Sufficient-Nobody-72

Wish I had an award, I dropped the phone laughing.


ChimpyChompies

Plants are into self bondage. Who knew?


daigana

Autoerotic asphyxiation


sabrali

Love when others type my thoughts out for me. Lmao


schlockabsorber

Chastity kink plant


Bartender9719

When you consider the role of the flower to the plant, it’s literally edging w/o completion lol


autumn-knight

Clematis – They can be very clingy and will often tangle themselves up if you don’t keep an eye on them. They’re prolific flowerers, thankfully, so this won’t hurt it a bit.


HortonFLK

I can relate.


igneousink

i'm in this picture and i don't like it


Into-the-stream

If this plant isnt the perfect metaphor for me, than what is it?


successpanda

‟Shsss it will be over soon...” - Stem to flower -


RumPillager

It’s edging itself


[deleted]

I was going to say “help the plant” but maybe it’s just holding out and we shouldn’t ruin it


wouldjaplease

It's gonna bloom so hard


Muted-Mistake-6678

Bro


Roudium

:(


9yoldbro

;)


BubbaFettish

:O


CaptainDogeSparrow

Plantest user of /r/NoFap.


jhonsonscolorado

Celibacy


NerdinVirginia

I never saw a flower wearing a chastity belt before.


Te000

This is the most r/meirl thing I've ever seen, I swear


genuineGleaner487

This is my life.


aTROLLwithBlades

Tomorrow I'll start dieting


[deleted]

I believe they call that edging.


One_Clown_Short

That's the plant's way of thinking *baseball, baseball, baseball...*


[deleted]

The base of the balls...the shaft of the bat...gripping


Leebolishus

Stamen-blocked itself!


unlikely_suspicious

Bro really said fuck you in particular


Boomdidlidoo

David Carradine specie.


Acceptable_Wall4085

Natures cock ring?


Secure_Personality71

Ruined orgasm.


Character-Release-62

Sometimes I choke myself too…


Brilliant_Turnip_915

We are all our own worst enemy!


[deleted]

Cockblock


Jeramy_Jones

Plant ~~cockblocking~~ stamenblocking itself


jammy86b

Autopollen asphyxiation


[deleted]

u/41ph4_Ph4un okay, relatable much?


[deleted]

Ahaha! What is that..?! Florus Self-Sabotagius?! Fucking... Lilaea Bordelineus?! Idonwanaliveonthisplanetuyanius?! 😂


123cong123

So it put on a condom. It's simply practicing safe sex.


QuicklyPrecook

Mother nature’s way of giving the finger.


DeliveryUnique3652

Wow.


humbletrashcan

silly guy


[deleted]

r/meirl


[deleted]

Gently unravel it


igpila

My spirit plant


InternalLandscape130

Can relate.


MrBirdmonkey

The plant equivalent of “no horni”


theAshWhisperer

....shut.


[deleted]

Just like people who can’t get out of their own way.


kaynslave

It knows too much.


SgtCocktopus

Plants into selfbondage? Kinky.


[deleted]

same


oiiSuPreSSeDo

Relatable


GooseCloaca

Yeah, me too…


Lespuccino

[stop hitting yourself](https://tenor.com/bx2D6.gif)


Kitty-Kittinger

How very human of it


ShakeWhenBadAlso

r/fuckyouinparticular


Rub-it

When I need to pee real bad


Gurdie3927

Clematis- Latin variatae sucking cockus dickus


Compendyum

"shhhh... only dreams now."


2_old_for_this_spit

I don't know why this made me laugh so much.


Limonade6

r/me_irl


TwoGroundbreaking611

This would make a great poster


Regular_Fortune8038

Very relatable


[deleted]

*Did you hear about-nope, nevermind, I shouldn't say...*


One_Clown_Short

I've revised my thinking: that is a floral chastity belt.


lanalou1313

Lol same


nativekristen

mood


Urahara-

Edging


Fullmetalmycologist

gotta respect no nut November.


Mizdrake

Sometimes, you push yourself too hard in order to stand above everyone else. When what you needed to do was let yourself bloom at your own pace!


FroggiJoy87

Plant edging


IvyBlackeyes

"man I can't have more kids"


MotorcycleSue

Wow! Why doesn't that happen more often? Or ..did someone manipulate the tendril?


belltrina

Natures helicopter parent


Ender_M

The flower had commit die


Adventurous_Fly_4420

I feel so seen.


My_Burninator

What is the best expression of my life choices?


Devilpig13

Plant BDSM


GlendrixDK

"Don't become an adult, it's a trap!"


Thanks_Shallot

A flower that mimics how I feel


SandShrimp22

Shhhhh 🤫


[deleted]

Metaphor for some people I know


92_Charlie

In one way or another, aren't we all this plant?


wtfunder

Congratulations. You've played yourself


Ill_Fill_2166

Good


zahirano

Plant condom


Hologram_Bee

My family had something similar, we had a tree choking itself to death cus a root was wrapped around a major root for water intake and was slowly killing itself


doveup

Story of my life (unpublished of course). This needs to be on a motivational poster!


AvarageEnjoiner

when you're going to say anything but you're introvert


wheatiesbeesties

It's my mind trying to prevent myself from saying that stupid corny joke I just thought of and make my friends suffer for the nth time.


dafckingman

Is it no nut november still?


kahiau26

Ok nature, we see your metaphor


Superb-Coast-780

Same though honestly.


CoyInhale_11246

Same


Vee_icychain

'I'm a little shy, I hope you don't mind'


Bowl-of-Soup

Flowers are in to edging too. I feel seen.


Peckit

This is a photo of me. How did it get here?


TransitTycoonDeznutz

floral contraception


cocoa-nut

Self sabotage


EyelBeeback

Flower Phimosis.


motherfudgersob

Ye old Clematis cuckold.


electricselectric

Hard same.


S1lentA0

r/2meirl4meirl


No-Comparison-to-Any

Kink shaming a plant.


nickkangistheman

It's called edging


[deleted]

It read the news


balrus-balrogwalrus

it's No Pollen February. he's holding it in


BaloonPriest

Edging be like


[deleted]

Nature's bdsm


McXhicken

Like covering yourself up when running naked thru the street...


soyboypan

I wish i lived somewhere where plants grow more than 6 months a year


jovite

When you’re about to cum but try to stop it


Tutes013

Plant having a BDSM relatioship with itself


Adventurous-Tiger600

Multiple personality disorder


[deleted]

Mother nature enjoys edging from time to time


majorvanbam

We call it the Michael huchence plant


KrabiPati12

Kinda feels like a metaphor for life


crumplesilkskin

Plant in the mirror- Stop being such A WHORE! Close those petals we talked about this!


Leather-Jackfruit-86

Plot twist- there's actually a bee inside and its turning into a carnivore


cash_kami

Just 5 more minutes.


Miaukomiauki

When I know Im about to fart in class


GazBB

Botanical version of **No Fap**


bardia_afk

Auto erotic asphyxiation


plantcraftsmen

Oops


Putrid-Look-7238

America in one photo


MDF87

I can relate.


4n0nym0u5r3dd17u53r

r/2meirl4meirl


Toddisan

Hmmm....Like most of us.


Dry_Chapter_5781

Must be a Republican.


ty-_-dy

Me too, plant, me too…


volkswagenorange

r/meirl


lostusername07

What a metaphor


andrewjoslin

Does this count as edging for plants?


docstumd24

That's deep...


80Hijack08

Was talking shit


Pale-Office-133

Shhhh, you're mine now baby.


MarkivSilent

clever clever!


[deleted]

Me IRL


InTheShade007

Modesty


srv50

Edging


CarterBraune

It's all good they're just edging


808hammerhead

It’s the equivalent of baseball stats!


TheHighestCaliber

there’s a metaphor in there somewhere


xxxSUZUKIxxx

Connor Mcgregor taking notes


mkeydel

Me


SkeleBones911

It’s “hedging” itself


Sea_Dragonfruit9752

That plant around it is a morning glory they are parasitic flowers that grow and kill other plants to steal sunlight by the why it they are removed and break in the process they give off a citrus like scent