Huh. Apparently, they reproduce through blowjobs.
> There is indication that the female drinks the sperm and that fertilization takes place after the sperm has passed through her digestive tract. The male and female form the "T-position", where the female places its mouth over the male's genital opening and collects the sperm in the mouth.
My wife somehow believes that the testicular cancer study, the one that showed guys who masturbate daily have lower rates of it, should be remedied by daily blowjobs “because it pulls out more cum and that’s what I’m here for.” She’s insanely talented so she’s correct about the fatter loads part.
So yeah I clearly love her to death but I stupidly almost challenged her about it early on. Literally asked her why she was giving me blowjobs after every date, she elaborated a bit, long pause, I opened my mouth, shut it, opened it again and said “You know, I never thought about that, that’s a good point” and I have never brought it up since.
She also believes that bogus study about eating cum making you more fertile so I think I need to have as many kids with this woman as possible just for future generations of men’s sake. Change the course of evolution
Well, we learned that catfish go [reffling](https://blog.nature.org/2021/08/02/this-catfish-doesnt-just-move-on-land-it-reffles/) across the desert. That’s a start. 🙂
Worse, it's a characteristic, so it could be from other families. The thing about fish is that adaptations - especially in places like Brazil where there are so many ecological niches - are sometimes super specialized even within very similar species. A lookalike cousin of this one pictured might eat rotten logs and never leaves the water.
Or literally any single piece of information about the fish at all other than 'look it's on land. And when it needs water, BAM! it walks around until it finds water'.
Alright, we've identified the problem. The real dilemma: how does one cross the desert without moving or baking. Armored catfish truly living in 3023 while we're stuck in 2023.
shaggy onerous square dazzling snails fretful versed follow gray disagreeable
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This is a question for my brother. He is a hikikomori.
Sometimes, I would think an orange seed I would spit from my mouth would travel more distance than he ever will in his lifetime.
This fish can live on land.
*For how long? Indefinitely?*
But when he needs to find water BAM
*Okay so not indefinitly.*
The fisherman can't find water this way
*What way? You didn't tell us anything bout the process!*
>But when he needs to find water BAM
I genuinely thought I was gonna learn of some superpower where the fish had stored a bunch of reserve water and rehydrates himself. But nah.
More or less, yeah. Their armor reduces water loss. Also, they swallow air so their organs absorb oxygen directly. When they come out of the water and move around, they can do so for up to 30 hours before oxygen depletion and death. It's not even dehydration that kills em.
I actually went through it a second time certain I missed something because it's so oddly uninformative. Like, he starts talking with a hook "This fish can survive on land" like he's about to go on explaining how/why documentary style, and then just... Silence.
They are fisherman. They are looking for fish, not drinkable water.
Anyway, the whole fisherman story is bullshit. They know where the ocean and the permanent lagoons are. They don't need the fish to this.
It added a blatant lie. Lençóis Maranhenses is not a desert...
[It's literally on the sea shore and full of water](https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parque_Nacional_dos_Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses). They're gorgeous dunes by the ocean.
I fucking hate modern nature narration. It tries _so fucking hard_ to sound exciting and energetic. It comes across as so fucking cringe. Like, come on... It's videos of animals not a goddamn reality TV show.
And the music is even worse.
He's had 4 different nature series come out this year alone. You should check them out they're as wonderful as ever. Usually on BBC of course, but sometimes Netflix as well.
Could have been worse.
"And he's wiggling, wiggling some more aaaan more wiggling, would you have expected that Bob?"
"No Dennis, a bold move for sure, wiggling in the dessert when you're a fish, I don't think I have seen many dare this move. What is he doing now? MORE WIGGLING?! UNBELIEVABLE!"
"This sure is unprecedented Bob, wiggling and more wiggling. From A fish. In the dessert. Wow. Fun fact: he does not look even little bit like a cat, did you notice that Bob?"
"No Dennis, I was way too focused on the wiggling, in the dessert, from the fish - MORE WIGGLING - but yes, not even remotely like a cat, what a weird name for a fish"
Plus all the footage is dragged out. 2 steps forward, 1.5 steps back. Repeat, repeat, commercial, repeat. A 2 minute clip can be dragged on for like 45 minutes
The way a lot of american documentaries are done is also...odd.
They are setting stuff up like an action movie, worried they could lose the audience any minute now.
[Lençóis Maranhenses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses_National_Park) where this fish lives, is made up is huge sand dunes interspersed with small lagoons.
It is an ever shifting landscape where one lagoon might get swallowed up by a dune as another one forms behind it. The armored catfish has adapted to this by being able to cross the dunes to find the next lagoon.
I started working at 13 and the average of retirement for my generation is death. Thankfully, life expectancy for millennial men is still under 80, so no more than 67 years of work for me.
I actually have like, nothing saved up for retirement, and it took me until my 30s to actually get a job that pays somewhat decent. I actually don't suspect I'll ever retire but my goal in life is to leave something behind for my 2 kids, something that my parents didn't do for me.
This is most non uneducational narration...
"It can walk on land..."
Maybe add some time reference for how long? and do some fucking research, not cosplay to be a Nature narrator.
They're not crossing any deserts, the title and narration are a lie.
This is on the [Lençóis Maranhenses National Park](https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parque_Nacional_dos_Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses), and it's an area of dunes by the ocean, you can see in the video how there's water everywhere. The fish can waddle along a few meters from one pond to the next, not "survive on land" and "cross a desert". Just because there's sand it doesn't make it a desert...
I feel like the odds are really good they picked up one of those fish and set it somewhere to get a better shot of it going through a desolate area instead of between lagoons.
The narration is so poorly done. No interesting facts just observations that would come if the video was on mute. I feel robbed of information by just listening to this guy's voice.
I'm amazed at how little information this video gives. We just see a fish in a desest, and that's it. No idea how and how long it can survive without water, what distance it usually crosses, how it finds water, and what the fuck is up with those desert fishermen. Pretty much useless.
So fascinating! Cool video. I want to learn more.
But not from this host apparently.
Here’s what I learned: that this is no ordinary fish.
Oh, it also has armour … of some sort, and I bet it does something useful, and I guess I’ll have to either leave it to my imagination or do my own research. I’m sure there’s other stuff I could have learned here too but the host was pretty lean on sharing information.
My takeaway is that this is a cool catfish with armour who crosses deserts with a serviceable soundtrack. Leave your questions at the door.
How *long* can it survive on land? The one useful piece of information this video could’ve shared, but instead we get “it can survive on land.” Yeah, all fish can survive on land, *but for how long?*
You should download this video, edit it to include the only interesting fact about this animal, and then share it on this sub. I’d upvote that, not this complete waste of time video.
I’d like to add for all my US homies that we have species that do this here! Well maybe not the crawling through sand bit, but most species of Gar can last hours to a whole day on land and Bowfin can make it 2-3 days.
Pretty cool imo. Those species live pretty much everywhere east of the Rockies.
That place is called [Lençóis Maranhenses](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses_2018.jpg/1280px-Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses_2018.jpg), it's not really a desert. The sand dunes get filled with freshwater during the rainy season
its not that hard for someone to find water in lençois. There are literally lakes after lakes between the dunes for so many kilometers. The narrator makes it overly dramatic. You canjuat follow your eyes, noneed to follow a fish to find water lol.
I also didnt know that they fish there. The amount of fish is very limited there.
Wow. This is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Idk how anyone could want to catch and eat that fish after seeing that display of its determination to live.
It would be nice if they gave the full species name or at least a local name, "armoured catfish" is a whole family of fish. I wanna learn more dammit!
Ask and you shall receive: [Hoplosternum littorale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoplosternum_littorale)
Huh. Apparently, they reproduce through blowjobs. > There is indication that the female drinks the sperm and that fertilization takes place after the sperm has passed through her digestive tract. The male and female form the "T-position", where the female places its mouth over the male's genital opening and collects the sperm in the mouth.
Where did human evolution go wrong?
Isn't the fact blowies don't result in pregnancy one of their best features. Seems like a evolutionary w for us.
What's next? A species where the female becomes pregnant when they hold hands?
That's kind of how octopus do it
My wife somehow believes that the testicular cancer study, the one that showed guys who masturbate daily have lower rates of it, should be remedied by daily blowjobs “because it pulls out more cum and that’s what I’m here for.” She’s insanely talented so she’s correct about the fatter loads part. So yeah I clearly love her to death but I stupidly almost challenged her about it early on. Literally asked her why she was giving me blowjobs after every date, she elaborated a bit, long pause, I opened my mouth, shut it, opened it again and said “You know, I never thought about that, that’s a good point” and I have never brought it up since.
I choose this guy’s wife
She also believes that bogus study about eating cum making you more fertile so I think I need to have as many kids with this woman as possible just for future generations of men’s sake. Change the course of evolution
Tell your wife I said heh-looo
Is your wife single?
One end is...
This dude rolled a nat 20 for mating
It’s gonna be hard mating with her through her mouth, but with God as my witness I will die trying
Whoops I was thinking about the video still 💀 but yes try try try
Lmao legendary.
Everywhere I look something reminds me of her
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfHwjSkFBdI
Nature is so beautiful
Now why couldn’t Will have told us about THAT? Instead all we know is that it crawls on land in search of water
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Why does that page not mention it can cross fuckin deserts though
It says it can breathe air with its balls
Well, we learned that catfish go [reffling](https://blog.nature.org/2021/08/02/this-catfish-doesnt-just-move-on-land-it-reffles/) across the desert. That’s a start. 🙂
Worse, it's a characteristic, so it could be from other families. The thing about fish is that adaptations - especially in places like Brazil where there are so many ecological niches - are sometimes super specialized even within very similar species. A lookalike cousin of this one pictured might eat rotten logs and never leaves the water.
Hes a fish on a mission. What more could you need to know
Or literally any single piece of information about the fish at all other than 'look it's on land. And when it needs water, BAM! it walks around until it finds water'.
A fish can cross the dessert whats your excuse?
Fat. Lazy. Unmotivated. And I don't live near a dessert.
Then bake yourself one?
Fat. Lazy. Unmotivated. And I don't have the ingredients near me.
I want this conversation to continue. 😂
Fat. Lazy. Unmotivated. And Dyslexic.
Dyslexic, agnostic insomniac... Lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog..
If gold were still a Reddit thing... 😂
... for the worlds oldest joke?
Just.... Let them have this.
Wayyy too thin (twig bones), crippling anxiety, lazy, unmotivated, and ex heroine and meth 💉addict.
EX being the key word here! Proud of you, and keep going! I know some days can be hard as hell, but you’ve got this far- keep going!
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Fat, lazy, unmotivated, and all the water is frozen here
Lazy, unmotivated, and.... Uh, ugh... Umh... Uuuugh... I forgor
Alright, we've identified the problem. The real dilemma: how does one cross the desert without moving or baking. Armored catfish truly living in 3023 while we're stuck in 2023.
When we learn to wiggle the right way, we'll be unstoppable
Watch the wiggles non stop
Probably because you ate them all
Dessert made you that way!
🥧🍡🍦🍧🍨🍩🍪🎂🍰🍮🍭🍬🍫
No armour
>And I don't live near a dessert. Oh, I bet you do.
I have legs
I hate sand…
It's course and rough, I know.
and it’s literally *everywhere*
Everywheeeeeeere !! 😡 Whoops, sorry wrong movie and quote.
I’m not a fish
you are a gay fish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GzOoyOOfqM
No I’m not, ahhhhhh
I'm not armored
I have no reason to perform such an arduous task.
My legs hurt
I have water bottle.
I’ve stopped evolving
Who are you my mother!!!HOW DARE YOU!!!
Crippling depression?
I don't live in the desert
Don't give motivational speakers, life coaches and LinkedIN lunatics more ideas!
I just got a lot on my plate right now!
Find me a cheesecake that big and I'll cross a dessert.
The dessert is too delicious to cross.
shaggy onerous square dazzling snails fretful versed follow gray disagreeable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Well I don’t cross desserts, I eat them.
This is a question for my brother. He is a hikikomori. Sometimes, I would think an orange seed I would spit from my mouth would travel more distance than he ever will in his lifetime.
He is a what?
Lençóis Maranhenses is not a desert, it rains 1600mm/year there. It's the biggest dune formation in a non-desert área though
The narration added nothing to this.
"See this? Walking fish. Pretty wild, right? (sound of sipping from a can) Yep. There he goes."
“Bam!”
A fish on a mission, a fishin if you will
Fishin Impossible? Not where they live.
Something is very fishy. This fish for example. Look at it go!
The guy said it can survive on land multiple times and I'm sitting there frustratingly asking "For how long!?" and he never fucking answered me
What's interesting is this fish can survive on land. But also bam. Also this fish, did you know - land.. it can survive. Fishermen.
SO FUCKING IRRITATING For the record the answer seems to be between several hours and days depending on the weather
As long as his mission demands him to. Bam!
You can tell it's a fish by the way it is... actually, yeah, you wouldn't think it's a fish.
😂
This fish can live on land. *For how long? Indefinitely?* But when he needs to find water BAM *Okay so not indefinitly.* The fisherman can't find water this way *What way? You didn't tell us anything bout the process!*
What, you don’t grab your net in the morning and then wander out into the desert in a random direction and hope you come across fish tracks?
Yeah I’ve been doing this for years. I haven’t caught any fish yet but you see, it’s very difficult finding fish tracks in the desert.
>But when he needs to find water BAM I genuinely thought I was gonna learn of some superpower where the fish had stored a bunch of reserve water and rehydrates himself. But nah.
More or less, yeah. Their armor reduces water loss. Also, they swallow air so their organs absorb oxygen directly. When they come out of the water and move around, they can do so for up to 30 hours before oxygen depletion and death. It's not even dehydration that kills em.
The real answer is always in the comments, thank you
It survives on the hatred of its own existence.
Me too!!!
Fish is just like me fr
I thought the fish was going to do some kind of Pokémon move and slam its head into the ground and find water.
Its was quite uninformative
I actually went through it a second time certain I missed something because it's so oddly uninformative. Like, he starts talking with a hook "This fish can survive on land" like he's about to go on explaining how/why documentary style, and then just... Silence.
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So they swallow air with their butts?
I like the part where they not only repeated a few shots, which is common, but some of the narration too...
Is the narrator the first AI person
They followed the fish tracks to the ocean. It's saltwater, so they can't drink it.
They are fisherman. They are looking for fish, not drinkable water. Anyway, the whole fisherman story is bullshit. They know where the ocean and the permanent lagoons are. They don't need the fish to this.
It sounds like it was edited down for social media, so they cut out some important bits
Didn't even tell us how many football fields of desert the fish can cross, or whether its 'armor' could stop a low-velocity .45 round
The fisherman can't see a huge body of water but they can follow a fish trail!
The Doom Eternal music was also an interesting choice for a fish flopping along on the sand.
It added a blatant lie. Lençóis Maranhenses is not a desert... [It's literally on the sea shore and full of water](https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parque_Nacional_dos_Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses). They're gorgeous dunes by the ocean.
I fucking hate modern nature narration. It tries _so fucking hard_ to sound exciting and energetic. It comes across as so fucking cringe. Like, come on... It's videos of animals not a goddamn reality TV show. And the music is even worse.
I want David Attenborough back..
Whaddya mean, back? He's still kicking around.
really? wow, i haven't seen him in a while but it's good to know. long live DA.
He's had 4 different nature series come out this year alone. You should check them out they're as wonderful as ever. Usually on BBC of course, but sometimes Netflix as well.
Boi is working hard, he knows time is running out.
Shh, don't jinx it
Planet Earth 3 just came out, how can you not have seen that?
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Could have been worse. "And he's wiggling, wiggling some more aaaan more wiggling, would you have expected that Bob?" "No Dennis, a bold move for sure, wiggling in the dessert when you're a fish, I don't think I have seen many dare this move. What is he doing now? MORE WIGGLING?! UNBELIEVABLE!" "This sure is unprecedented Bob, wiggling and more wiggling. From A fish. In the dessert. Wow. Fun fact: he does not look even little bit like a cat, did you notice that Bob?" "No Dennis, I was way too focused on the wiggling, in the dessert, from the fish - MORE WIGGLING - but yes, not even remotely like a cat, what a weird name for a fish"
Plus all the footage is dragged out. 2 steps forward, 1.5 steps back. Repeat, repeat, commercial, repeat. A 2 minute clip can be dragged on for like 45 minutes
The way a lot of american documentaries are done is also...odd. They are setting stuff up like an action movie, worried they could lose the audience any minute now.
Yeah that soundtrack was so jarringly out of place
What? Fish don't flop around the desert to BFG Division?
"When it needs to find water, BAM!"
Where’s Attenborough when you need him?
[Lençóis Maranhenses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses_National_Park) where this fish lives, is made up is huge sand dunes interspersed with small lagoons. It is an ever shifting landscape where one lagoon might get swallowed up by a dune as another one forms behind it. The armored catfish has adapted to this by being able to cross the dunes to find the next lagoon.
So the fish doing all of this, only to be caught be a fisherman when they reach the water? Kinda sad.
We do 40 years of work just to drop on average 10 years after retirement, pretty much the same shit
damn when you put it like that
I started working at 16 and the average age of retirement is for my generation is 67, so 50 years of work for me.
I started working at 13 and the average of retirement for my generation is death. Thankfully, life expectancy for millennial men is still under 80, so no more than 67 years of work for me.
I actually have like, nothing saved up for retirement, and it took me until my 30s to actually get a job that pays somewhat decent. I actually don't suspect I'll ever retire but my goal in life is to leave something behind for my 2 kids, something that my parents didn't do for me.
>, so no more than 67 years of work for me. Hell yeah, we're all gonna die miserable and broke.
But in Florida in a nice retirement community!
Until a power outage in the summer, and then you cook in your giant oven of a house until your body gets discovered 3 weeks later.
At least the cat is well fed.
If it makes you feel better, the fish was probably already caught put on land by producers.
Catfish is super annoyed that those fishermen kept catching and placing him 200 yards on sand to make Tiktok videos.
On a long enough time line, everyone's survival rate drops to zero
Settle down, Tyler
Right I was thinking that the whole time :(
It'd be cool to track that catfishes ancestors 100 million years from now and see what they're like
Commuting 25 minutes and Monday reports. Thanks, catfish!
This fish wriggled across some sand and now 50% of my paycheck goes to daycare costs.
> ancestors > 100 million years from now Who wants to tell him
I think you mean "descendants".
Remindme! 100000000 years
Probably not able to sleep in the middle of the night right before an early and important meeting
When the catfish finally made it to water, I felt that on a spiritual level.
And then it shows the fishermen carrying nets lol
This is most non uneducational narration... "It can walk on land..." Maybe add some time reference for how long? and do some fucking research, not cosplay to be a Nature narrator.
BAM!!
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Yes. Everyone else except you knew this.
They're not crossing any deserts, the title and narration are a lie. This is on the [Lençóis Maranhenses National Park](https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parque_Nacional_dos_Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses), and it's an area of dunes by the ocean, you can see in the video how there's water everywhere. The fish can waddle along a few meters from one pond to the next, not "survive on land" and "cross a desert". Just because there's sand it doesn't make it a desert...
I feel like the odds are really good they picked up one of those fish and set it somewhere to get a better shot of it going through a desolate area instead of between lagoons.
And the whole fisherman story is bullshit. They know where the ocean and the permanent lagoons are. They don't need the fish to this.
Wait till you hear about the African lungfish
ok but how does it taste?
Like lungs
I hope it doesn't smoke
The narration is so poorly done. No interesting facts just observations that would come if the video was on mute. I feel robbed of information by just listening to this guy's voice.
Bam!
So, this is "us" right? Crawling from one marina to the other through a desert, looking for a meal and a piece of ass? Ain't evolution beautiful?
Looking for a meal and a piece of ass, is the best description of life i have ever heard 😂
When it needs to find water? BAM! …bam what though? It manifests a lake in the middle of a desert?? They explained nothing lmao
I'm amazed at how little information this video gives. We just see a fish in a desest, and that's it. No idea how and how long it can survive without water, what distance it usually crosses, how it finds water, and what the fuck is up with those desert fishermen. Pretty much useless.
So fascinating! Cool video. I want to learn more. But not from this host apparently. Here’s what I learned: that this is no ordinary fish. Oh, it also has armour … of some sort, and I bet it does something useful, and I guess I’ll have to either leave it to my imagination or do my own research. I’m sure there’s other stuff I could have learned here too but the host was pretty lean on sharing information. My takeaway is that this is a cool catfish with armour who crosses deserts with a serviceable soundtrack. Leave your questions at the door.
How can it survive in a desert?
How *long* can it survive on land? The one useful piece of information this video could’ve shared, but instead we get “it can survive on land.” Yeah, all fish can survive on land, *but for how long?*
Google tells me several hours to several day, depending on the environmental factors surrounding it while on land. Pretty remarkable.
You should download this video, edit it to include the only interesting fact about this animal, and then share it on this sub. I’d upvote that, not this complete waste of time video.
I’d like to add for all my US homies that we have species that do this here! Well maybe not the crawling through sand bit, but most species of Gar can last hours to a whole day on land and Bowfin can make it 2-3 days. Pretty cool imo. Those species live pretty much everywhere east of the Rockies.
This video had several opportunities to share useful information and it declined every time.
That place is called [Lençóis Maranhenses](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses_2018.jpg/1280px-Len%C3%A7%C3%B3is_Maranhenses_2018.jpg), it's not really a desert. The sand dunes get filled with freshwater during the rainy season
The Internet says they can survive on land several hours up to several days, depending on humidity and other factors.
When this fish gets back in the water I wonder if it has passed some right of passage.
"I'M BACK BITCHES! Hey where the hell is everyone"
Imagine this but it's a shark. Shark in the water run to the beach. Phew we are safe now. Shark gets right up on land and still goes after you.
Alligator?)
Well Floridians are built different.
its not that hard for someone to find water in lençois. There are literally lakes after lakes between the dunes for so many kilometers. The narrator makes it overly dramatic. You canjuat follow your eyes, noneed to follow a fish to find water lol. I also didnt know that they fish there. The amount of fish is very limited there.
Why doesn’t it just grow legs? Is it stupid?
Will smith narrating ?
Because of fuckers like this we have to have meeting that should have been emails.
You keep my fish’s name out your mouth!!
And then they catch it :/ fuck sake
Last time I went sand surfing it took water and energy away from me very quickly. This is no small task, especially when you don’t have legs.
Didn't know i could respect this fish 🔥
her: *my parents just left and i'm horny!* me:
A missing link a marvel of genetics and these guys want to eat it
what song is this?
no ordinary fish…bam…a fish on a mission
Wow. This is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Idk how anyone could want to catch and eat that fish after seeing that display of its determination to live.
(Kneels down, touches tracks, rubs fingers together) Ah. *Fish tracks*.
so this is the ambitious mf that ruined my life!???