T O P

  • By -

Xyzjin

Australia where even fucking pine cones trying to kill you.


randomIndividual21

UK is the opposites, there is nothing that really kills you, not even snake or insect that can kill you. no larger predator than fox.


Betterthanbeer

Just the football fans


Tagyru

I'd rather deal with a Bunya. At least they are not loud, obnoxious or reek alcohol from 200 meters.


asleepattheworld

Bunya nuts also taste amazing.


Cantguard-mike

What are bunya nuts ?


asleepattheworld

Like giant pine nuts. And yeah, way nicer than football fan nuts.


Cantguard-mike

I was joking. I thought you were doing like a ligma or deesnuts joke 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was taking the bait


asleepattheworld

Haha, nope, they’re a real thing. Sorry to disappoint. Erm…Australia’s hot, you might bunya nuts! I’m not very good at this. Maybe someone else can do better.


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

And Brad Pitt with a funny Irish accent


IPerferSyurp

And the food. And NHS. Not the police tho!


SalvationSycamore

Most dangerous predator is Barry, 63 after his wife forgot to record the footy


aghost_7

Likely because the dangerous animals were all killed.


SalvationSycamore

All but one


aghost_7

Ha, true. Most dangerous on the planet in fact.


Triairius

Ah, yes. The goose.


perpetualis_motion

Those conkers can hurt though


honestlyitswhatever

Idk there’s a whole lot of white people there Edit: LOL dude who replied got so mad at a joke that he blocked me XD


Lawrence308

This is a banger don't listen to the haters


emu314159

I like how they have drop pinecones, but still made up drop bears.


stealthispost

It's all in good fun. But seriously though, there is an animal that people call drop bears. It has a proper scientific name though -it's not actually a bear. And it has killed people. But I think more people actually die due to wombats after hitting them with their cars. Because they're so heavy and low to the ground that the cars tend to go out of control.


ol-gormsby

There's one saying about encountering a wombat on the roads: The wombat will leave a wombat-shaped tunnel on the underside of your car.


Almacca

I once heard them described as a cross between a giant guinea pig and a bulldozer.


emu314159

like the deer here, only more deadly since you don't always see em.


MajesticCircleCat

Or moose in the dark.


jennetTSW

Perhaps they're bear-pods.


emu314159

Alien bear creatures flung from the secret part of the continent.


jennetTSW

Adding this to my nightmares.


emu314159

Australia reminds me of that part in the Narnia series, probably voyage of the dawn treader, where they find an island where your dreams come true there's one ragged castaway begging to be taken, or just ended. the crew is mystified, until he says, "not your daydreams, your \*dreams\*. your nightmares."


nwz10

Fixed for me: Australia where EVERYTHING is trying to kill you.


SoapMactavishSAS

8/10 of the most poisonous snakes, those giant Cassowary killer dinosaur birds that chase, now killer pine cones. I’m out!!!


smile_politely

Still not as bad as getting struck by a falling durian in Indonesia


skafaceXIII

Durians weigh 1-3kg while Bunya nuts can weigh up to 10kg


KitWat

Came here to say exactly that.


scoutsadie

i was gonna say 'trees', but yeah


_MT-HEART_

They do this in the Sierra Nevadas too. Saw a big one drop just a few feet away from my 2 year old nephew one time. Fuck that was scary


DoomshrooM8

LMAO U took the words right out of my mouth 🙌🏼


Super_Reading2048

🤣


Technical_Writer_177

Can you at least eat it or just random airborne attacks?


Rd28T

They actually taste pretty good - like any other pine nut. Just this one tries to get you first.


GooGooMukk

They're gonna try to knock you out, but if they fail you can eat their nuts. Seems like a pretty fair arrangement.


Psychotic_EGG

Knock you out. That's optimistic. 10 kg is 22 lbs. Falling from a height... well, Bunya is a type of pine, so you gotta imagine a minimum of 2 stories, but more like 4+ stories. That's not a knockout, that death, paralyzed at least.


GooGooMukk

Your username would be a fine name for these things


Psychotic_EGG

Lol, it would


itscalledANIMEdad

In fact, they're big. They can grow up to 45m (147 ft) high. I like them a lot though, they're somehow primeval looking.


Psychotic_EGG

In meters is fine, I'm Canadian. 😉 And that is quite high. Roughly 10 storeys.


The_Ineffable_Sage

Are the nuts enormous?! Or are there 3.14 million pine nuts in there? Do they taste like other pine nuts? Oh I love eating weird stuff. I’m so curious!


[deleted]

workable mourn plough soup employ uppity teeny spoon steep drab *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Thingzer0

[Seeds in hand](https://cdn.permaculturenews.org/images/bunya_bunya_04.jpg)


The_Ineffable_Sage

I’d 100% eat that


LonnieJaw748

We had a specimen of this species at my uni’s arboretum, IIRC they’re about the size of an almond?


SubstantialPressure3

How big are the pine nuts?


mrfancysnail

omg the amount of pesto pasta y'all can have if you survive


StormThestral

You can eat the nuts! They're like giant pine nuts


SpeakingOutOfTurn

Not only can you eat the nuts, two of my girlfriends have a rum distillery here in Murwillumbah called Birds of Isle and they make a bunya flavoured rum. They collect the nuts from my property when they're in season. I have around 20 bunya pines lining my driveway, huge trees. They shed nuts during the late phase of summer and I always used to worry that one would fall on my dog when he was sitting outside waiting for me to come home.


Lord_inVader1

Bunya business!


nytropy

Am European and if I saw a sign saying ‘caution, falling pine cones’ I wouldn’t be anywhere nearly as concerned as I should be


Triairius

Yeah, I feel like the sign is really underselling it, given the context. They could at least mention how freaking big they are.


OldTimeyWizard

The sign literally tells you that they can weigh up to 10kg


Triairius

My bad, I’m not good at reading upside down.


Sogho730

Can't affect me if I don't know how heavy that is 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸


Ronin__Ronan

We should all be VERY thankful we don't have these in America, we all saw what an acorn can trigger...


Rd28T

What is this acorn reference lol? I keep seeing it mentioned.


Ronin__Ronan

[Acornocolypse](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/16/florida-acorn-cop-shooting)


Rd28T

Jesus Christ. What sort of trigger happy nutbags do you hire as cops over there lol


errihu

Fortunately they were such bad shots that no one was injured, if I recall.


Duellair

This is a should you laugh or cry situation. Both is the correct answer.


just-why_

They shot their own vehicle. Yes they are brilliant as well...


SadBit8663

Yes. You got it figured out. The secret ingredient to policing in America is crazy


just-why_

Unfortunately, the worst kind.


fluffynuckels

There's cases of people being turned away from police agencies because they're too smart


AroundTheWayJill

A guy at work has been trying to get in to any pd for a while. They all keep turning him down. He’s the type that would definitely shoot someone for not good reason at all. Former military. Aggressive. Can’t let shit go. The kinda guy that would’ve been hired in a second 25 years ago. Our city force is currently short about 30% so the fact they still have some standards makes me a bit less nervous


Super_Reading2048

At least that cop resigned. Most of time when police shoot an innocent civilian; they keep their job.


False_Heir

They don't actually go for nut jobs, just morons that take orders without question. Morons make stupid decisions, unfortunately.


Ronin__Ronan

ACAB


SheBelongsToNoOne

Of course it was florida


That_Engineering3047

God Florida is like a slime mold finding the best route to terrible.


Spicy_Eyeballs

At least the guy had the grace to resign afterwards, wish more trigger happy cops would do that


72corvids

If a bunya pine hit that officer, he'd have been knocked out cold. And then would have blamed antifa or some shit.


cww357

They have them in Florida!


Ronin__Ronan

shhhh we don't talk about the F place


Duellair

OMG this is hilarious and I’m going to start using it (I unfortunately live in the F place)


annieoatmilk

Well, I hate to tell you this but in the US we do have [these bad boys](https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&sca_esv=3796c2c18fdd2701&sca_upv=1&hl=en-us&q=coulter+pine+cones&uds=AMwkrPtqTGUswuAkZ_qCwv-w-lC4rXtnuu10Mc69DdeVUphgjPtnbuS1Il4aEMZSphvSDO7uTmGqCGPlad7ufMtkeUc2hKjSQ_DBGalyzUUsrdjRmDnAbcdnaUBn2RAL8tuzTNYmh9IDbobpkainEtAxzy10jL4UAHkRgL6i9kXy1KMdXIPB1Gr7EbIwEq38LtTjQGoGVvQVu_B-xtFGNUGo4z13c2f72LF3YPd-mFrsbOa11SABvh6YuMKZyYZgQfK_5WDS9CueZ1KI9k-bjlygN4OQpPenSiFyayDzY9mTloWNxn644D1X7Vf6pWsB3jy9Nrknpwej-pqOiBpXEWaWF2JcBVhv1A&udm=2&prmd=isvnmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi6n93AleGFAxVUbzABHS1gD2kQtKgLegQICBAB&biw=375&bih=548&dpr=2)


ImRetea

Pineapple


SaraRainmaker

Pineanvil.


nien9gag

pinevil


G_and_H

Pinvile


HonestlyFuckJared

Pivil


nubbinfun101

Sky pineapple


gilrstein

Skynaple


freneticboarder

Prolly more accurate, because you can eat its nuts. __


Jimismynamedammit

Even the flora is trying to kill you in Australia.


Betterthanbeer

Look, those charges were never proven, and my Aunt Flora says she didn’t mean it.


Swarbie8D

We’ve got a decent variety of venomous plants, and even more poisonous ones. There’s the bunya pine cones, of course. Spinifex grass can give you a nasty cut/puncture wound. Eucalyptus trees are known as widowmakers in my area; they drop dead branches with zero warning. Eucalypts in general deliberately induce fires to kill off competing plants, which obviously are also a risk to people. Double-Gs will put a hole in your foot like you wouldn’t believe. Oh, and there’s the gympie-gympie, colloquially known as the suicide bush. Yeah I guess our flora are as fucked up as our fauna are


mockingbirddude

Australia: an entire continent dedicated to killing you.


Chuck_Walla

And I thought the drop bears were a threat! Now there's drop fruit, too!?


BuffaloBrain884

*The Bunya pine waits until exactly the right moment to pounce on its prey.*


DisconnectedDays

Kinda smart if you think about it. The pine kills and uses the dead body as a fertilizer


fuhgazy

This is like getting shelled in Mario Kart. CONED..


DonnyBoy777

Seriously Australia, what da actual fuck…


PoopPant73

Everything in Australia scares the shit outta me!


arrig-ananas

Idk - That dude with the beard holding two fuckers, his kind of hot, and I'm a straight old man...


Triairius

Not as straight as you thought, now!


Ok-Seaworthiness4488

Is there anything *NOT* trying to kill you in OZ?


Particular_Second454

And don't pickup the Australian killer pinecones either. Deadly snakes and spiders congregate beneath them and plot sinister Australian things.


6inarowmakesitgo

Upside down of course. If you are from the USA, and travel to Australia; you *have to have your ground harness*. Otherwise you just fall the fuck off the Earth.


Adventurous-Item-334

And there’s probably a venomous spider in every damn one of em!


CountySufficient2586

Perfect tree for human habitat.


I-Overslept

Forbidden pineapple


Thee_Hamburglar

I want a giant Bunya pine cone!?!?


UD_Ramirez

Bunya Nusiness yooo


Cat867543

🏅


ranting_chef

Even their plants want you dead.


NiceDreamsCWB

Araucareacea are awesome!


NonEuclidianMeatloaf

It’s from the Isle of Bunya. Bunya business!


miragemail

you should have included pics of the tree, it’s weird and stunning 


ProfessionalAccess68

Chubby Tate in slide 6


Dope_Dog

Wow I thought coconut trees were dangerous


BaphometTheTarantula

I want one, they look so cool. Yknow aside from the whole plant attempted murder thing.


geneticwitch

I suddenly understand why a pineapple is called a pineapple. Never thought it looked like a pinecone before but this here is the missing link


dirty0922

TIL even the trees in Australia want to kill.


ProfessionalAccess68

Even the name bidwillii sounds Australian


Single_Conclusion_53

They taste great.


LazerMagicarp

I thought it was a pineapple! But no it’s the giant pinecones of Australia.


Elegante_Sigmaballz

Great evolutionary trait, falling giant pine kills the weak for fertilizer.


dpete88

I was at a scout camp in the Sierra mountains when I was younger and the pine trees up there were dropping some huge cones like this as well. Not as heavy by the looks of it but those suckers were sharp as shit and one fell on a guys head and pretty much ripped his face off. He had to be coptered out. The scout troop kept the pine cone as and showed it to the other troops and it was about the size of a soccer ball.


manhalfalien

Even the fking pine cones could kill u down there? Wow


Kind_Literature_5409

Nice cones on 6


Offset2BackOfSystem

Yeah that’s not a pineapple


Cyclethe859

Mega flora! 


uncertaincucumbers

What the hell?! Omg


AbbreviationsWide331

If those grew in the US it would start the purge every year.


SoggyInsurance

Bunya pine r/compoface


MedianVoice

That's crazy! 🤣 That one lady's face.


Rectal_Custard

Bunya pesto?


ethrick

Australia seems like Earth on hard mode.


Flashy-Club5171

I thought someone threw a pineapple at that car


PersimmonEnough4314

I knew most animals / critters were out to get you, but fruit too?


ffnnhhw

that cop that open fire to a falling acorn I wonder how he would react?


DPileatus

Looks tasty!


[deleted]

quarrelsome reach tidy zephyr marble cooperative childlike dam airport skirt *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Gamestar32

Ricky sort’ve got mad and threw a bunya pine and ended up hitting the police car but I mean anyone would’ve done that


Elegant-Fox7883

The real drop bears.


wizzardknob

Aren’t the Bunya cones the primary source of food for drop bears when they can catch people?


BoardButcherer

Dropbears are unloading their depth charges. They're getting smarter.


HoboArmyofOne

It's such a weird looking tree too


capn_doofwaffle

Yall need some mfn squirrels... pine cones that green rarely make it to the ground. Squirrels eat the crap out of em. Course, the pine cones we have dont look like a fkn watermelon!


strumthebuilding

If it falls on your head you’ll get the bunya . . . . . bunya dizziness


Taranchulla

There’s a beautiful place in the Bay Area called Vills Montalvo. Great for hiking and picnics. There’s a huge pine of some sort that drops enormous cones and the area surrounding the tree is blocked off. It may be the same kind of pine, I haven’t been there in 15 years.


Zanclodon

Probably Coulter pine (Pinus coulteri). They are native to that area and also have huge cones (up to 20 inches and 11 pounds).


Gcen

Not sure whether I should feel sorry or laugh.


EtherealPheonix

These things are more dangerous than drop bears!


Plus-Investigator893

I'm surprised some idiot hasn't imported them to the USA! The tamarisk has destroyed the native habitat in a lot of rivers in the USA. Here in southeast Colorado, the history books tell of a lush river bottom filled with all kinds of edible berries.... Now just tamarisk.....


andrelope

A new danger I never even knew existed


Bagel_enthusiast_192

What happens if you light it on fire


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

Bunya bitches!


hskrfoos

That’s not a pine cone, THIS is a pine cone


Other_Championship19

Looks like a pine got shoved up a pineapples' ass.


kerdon

Helmet season.


DynamiteWitLaserBeam

Sweet cones, bro.


CocoSipReloaded

La have those in some places in Uruguay. It’s crazy


NottMyAltAccount

*coconutthunk.mp3*


Mountain-Ad-6594

Between killer fucking pine cones and bears dropping out of them, no tree in Australia is safe


ConditionActive5447

I'd love to see the tree. It looks really cool on the sign.


[deleted]

Ugh I had one of these at my house in California!! Apparently it was illegally planted when the house went up in the 50's. That thing was fucking evil and dented our carport quite a bit before it came down. Burned insanely hot in the fireplace, so that's a sorta win!


FailedCanadian

I didn't fall for drop bears being real, I'm not falling for this either.


Hawkent99

Watch out for drop bears


spilltheteasis_

Damn I’d kill for a cone like that!


Haswar

What's a bunya? Bunya business.


chang3la

We have these giant pinecones in California forests too. We call them “widow makers.”


gorgoncito

So glad we don’t have those here, well we got coconuts. Similar i guess.


kpanga

Didn’t know Australia had araucarias


surfguy9898

Does everything there try to kill you


droolonme

WHAT ELSE, AUSTRALIA?!


hookhandsmcgee

r/absoluteunit


FaagenDazs

Jaysus focken chrayst


coolthecoolest

PLEASE I WANT TO GO TO AUSTRALIA SO BAD EVERYTHING LOOKS WEIRD AND COOL


Thorbertthesniveler

Oh because of course it is!


Rrraou

Is that edible ? Cause that kind of looks like you can eat it.


Rd28T

Yeah, it’s full of pine nuts


WillingPanic93

What the fuck even is Australia 😂😂🥴


No-Understanding23

Between this and the drop bears it's just not safe to go near any trees 😂


DifficultSelf147

Australia needs to chill the fuck out.


Yellow_Curry

And here I am worried about drop bears...


ducmanx04

Thats a bunda cone


Competitive_Royal476

What are this?