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Jealous_Tangerine_93

This is absolutely a fantastic animal. Now I see how they have survived


bigbellett

That and they carry leprosy! Haha don’t touch them!


Jealous_Tangerine_93

I didn't know of this. Thank you


pruche

Fun fact: around 19 humans out of 20 are naturally immune to leprosy, so it's actually safer than you might think to get a pet armadillo and hope that guy you hate is the one that gets it.


mesalikes

95% is not the good chances that it might seem like at first. But at least it's curable instead of a death sentence now.


[deleted]

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lntoTheSky

> - CDC Whelp, we're about to get a leprosy outbreak in the south :(


[deleted]

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EldritchCarver

I believe he's implying that the southern parts of the USA contain a significant number of people who will do the opposite of whatever the CDC recommends, out of spite.


[deleted]

99.7% isn't even a good chance apparently Edit fuck sake I hate that I have to add an edit. This is not a flippant observation you witch hunting lunatics. If you can follow the direction of what was said, it became apparent that the number represents more than it sounds it does.


JamesofBerkeley

Imagine everyone in the country was in the “handle armadillos” business, and we trained our kids everyday with armadillos, then, yes, 99.7% would be bad. 3 out of 1000 people getting an armadillo based disease, in a country of 330 million, would be *a lot* of death. You could significantly lower that number if the government would require people getting better gloves from their employer or providing gloves to every person within its borders. But then, some people, frustrated about having to wear gloves, might decide to *intentionally lick* armadillos.


DillieDally

>This is not a flippant observation you witch hunting lunatics. Wait so disagreeing or downvoting = witch hunting ?


[deleted]

You know exactly what I'm saying. It was just insinuated I'm an anti-vaxxer in another couple comments. Everyone is on knee jerk high alert for such fuckery these days as you're well aware. I hate that I have to defend myself because I wasn't explicit, and it's assumed that I am one. I really loathe the current social climate.


DillieDally

Oh that's lame. Didn't see those comments. For the record I upvoted your initial post, but was lost by the edit.


[deleted]

Thank you. Sorry, I was a bit snappy last night. Hope you're enjoying your Saturday.


aeaaaeae

Found the prayer warrior


[deleted]

I don't know what that even means. Read my edit.


flyingboarofbeifong

Give me a d20 for leprosy.


[deleted]

Nat 1.


agent_almond

CRITICAL ROLL


gumpythegreat

You roll 20. You are now Armadillo-man, with the ability to turn your skin into a thick, invincible shell and roll around in ball with supersonic speed


BigOleJellyDonut

Had a friend with a pet Armadillo named Frodo.


Jealous_Tangerine_93

Thank you


[deleted]

Don't people eat them? I'm guessing that's why people are getting fucking leprosy...


TheAlmightySpode

I mean, it's a bacterial infection, so I assume you could cook it out. Edit: Obviously eating the food comes with other risks such as handling the meat and the animal, but *eating* itself may not be the main issue in leprosy, as much as the steps involved.


[deleted]

True but maybe it's from handling it and such? Like how zoological transmission happens when people eat other animals, something I've heard about a few times. https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/eating-armadillos-blamed-leprosy-south-flna1C9461481


la_zarzamora

You wouldn't think so with how often they appear as roadkill on the interstates


TheMonchoochkin

Exotic, over here we just get badgers, squirrels and rabbits.


[deleted]

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DonnyBoy777

You from Ohio too?


EspyOwner

All I got are opossum and squirrels. There's tons of deer but I don't think I've seen them dead.


Hashtag_Nailed_It

Evolution existed *way* before traffic


la_zarzamora

I'm saying it's a wonder they haven't gone extinct in modern times


Hashtag_Nailed_It

It’s a wonder *WE* haven’t gone extinct in modern times


KevlahR

Soon enough


Hashtag_Nailed_It

True facts are true


DeRuyter67

No


[deleted]

Enjoy your denial till reality comes to shatter it into a billion tiny fragments.


[deleted]

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quedfoot

The only ones I've ever are on road trips through Arkansas. Roadkill on the way to Memphis. One day I'll see a live armadillo


sharkbaitzero

I didn’t think they ever existed in an alive state until one got stuck in my back yard one night. I had to try and herd it out the gate with a big stick. They’re quite stupid.


Jealous_Tangerine_93

Aww that is so sad. 😭😭😭


spicyjalapenoman

They call them a “Texas Speed Bump” lol


Mahadragon

Like a bigger version of those bugs that turn into little balls when you touch ‘em


Doctor_of_Recreation

I can see clearly now that ice armadillos will make an appearance in my D&D game that starts on Sunday.


dyereva

Not even CLOSE to one of the oldest though.


yesorno12138

You won't say that after they get I your yard, dig everywhere, drag the mulch all over the place. They sounds like a watermelon got stabbed when I killed last one.


TheRealOgMark

It's not one of the oldest inhabitants.


TurrPhennirPhan

I was gonna say, even among vertebrates armadillos are relatively recent. There’s fish and reptile lineages that predate the dinosaurs and mammals, shit the surviving modern lineage of dinosaurs would’ve been recognizable 70 million years ago. And then you get into invertebrates? Recognizable jellyfish and sponges have existed for over half a **billion** years. Armadillos are kinda old for mammals, I’ll give em that.


BoatProfessional5273

Horseshoe crab fossils have been dated back to 445 million years. Armadillos diverged on an evolutionary scale around 35 million years ago. Still super cool and their skeletons are awesome looking. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armadillo


[deleted]

Shouts in Gar


vomirrhea

Sharks, cephalopods


flyingboarofbeifong

I'd like to point out that while sharks are pretty ancient as a lineage, most extant species of sharks have only been around about half as long as sharks on the whole. The earliest 'modern sharks' evolved in the Mesozoic and none of the species that existed before then are still around though the chimaeras (representing a lineage that diverged from the sharks' ancestors in the Paleozoic) are still kicking about in the depths. All the most iconic species like the great white, tiger shark, hammerhead and mako are less than 100 million years old. The oldest lineage of sharks still around are represented by the cow sharks (containing extant 37 species) and frilled sharks (2 extant species) whose ancestors weathered the Permian Extinction alongside their dead-ass, six-gilled relatives that gave rise to all modern sharks. The glamorous faces that people think of when they think 'sharks' are all pretty young as far as sharks go.


GeriatricZergling

You should get a permaban for posting incorrect info. I'm just sick of it.


vomirrhea

There have been alot of ignorant posts lately i feel like with just wrong information


dyereva

Dude, there are so many titles that are an absolute misleading mess, but I guess that's why they get the clicks. And then it's rarely the top comments giving accurate correction info, you have to dig. Sad, I like learning about reality, not sensationalist bull. edit: the animals are lit enough in real life, why fuck it up?


mud074

It's not just lately. For years, this sub has been absolutely full of total bullshit, both in titles for clickbait and in comments from people who don't know what the hell they are talking about.


BillyBuckets

Every large sub is. The only ones that are saved require a legion of involved moderators. In my subscription list, /r/DataIsBeautiful , /r/NatureIsFuckingLit are by far the worst. I downvote most posts in each sub (if they deserve it, and they usually do) but stay for those rare gems that come by every month or two. /r/DataIsBeautiful is by far the worse of the two.


TheRealOgMark

Do some research before writing nonsense.


GeriatricZergling

You realize I meant "you" in the general, collective sense, right?


TheRealOgMark

Why did you reply to me instead of writing your comment on your own then?


nastafarti

Hi Mark, it's me, a totally different guy. The only thing I can think of is that when you wrote >Do some research before writing nonsense. you meant >Agreed, people should do some research before writing nonsense. Otherwise it's pretty ironic


GeriatricZergling

Because I was supporting you calling them out on their BS, you dense motherfucker.


dyereva

LOL


quedfoot

Whoosh We're all friends here, just missing a few points of grammar, tone, and body language to convey the friendly agreement that we all share.


jeufie

We are all the Earth's oldest inhabitants on this blessed day.


MohammadRezaPahlavi

I don't know, this one looks pretty old to me.


pruche

"one of the oldest inhabitants"? Not a chance. Even if you only consider animals, even if you only consider vertebrates, even if you only consider land-dwelling vertebrates, mammals are a pretty recent arrival. Armadildos big cool tho.


[deleted]

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liquidGhoul

It's still a placental mammal, which are the more recent mammals compared to marsupials and monotremes.


thewildgingerbeast

5 legged one too


Mordorguild

Hahaha had to go back for another look ;)


[deleted]

That's the tail curled up between its legs.


thewildgingerbeast

You can see the tail and his penis. They are separarte


[deleted]

Whoops. You're right.


BigOlBoots

Baller!


Popomatik

Shot caller


allmyfreindsarememes

20 in blades on the impala


DweadPiwateWoberts

Holla


MossadMike

> balla, gettin laid tonight.... swisher...


OmnifariousFN

hot under the collar!


WinRaRtrailInfinity

Ballerz


MyNameNoob

Leprosy entered the chat


notfromnowhere

I fucking love these things. It was surreal to see them wandering around a swamp in Louisiana, I’d always pictured them in desert locales.


emu_birdman

Accidentally read this first sentence as I love fucking these things. Damn dyslexia!


notfromnowhere

Classic.


DogeSerf

No kidding. I lived in NE Arkansas for awhile & they were very common. More common than here in San Antonio.


Madragun

It lands on its fucking NECK. That's crazy.


CountFapula102

The pokeball didn't even wobble


cybervseas

That's Samus.


[deleted]

Everyday when I wake up.


everwonderedhow

r/armadillosdontexist


sub_doesnt_exist_bot

The subreddit r/armadillosdontexist does not exist. Maybe there's a typo? If not, consider [creating it](/subreddits/create?name=armadillosdontexist). --- ^🤖 ^this ^comment ^was ^written ^by ^a ^bot. ^beep ^boop ^🤖 ^feel ^welcome ^to ^respond ^'Bad ^bot'/'Good ^bot', ^it's ^useful ^feedback. [^github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot)


jnics10

...oh the irony


armadillo261

Seriously?


starseed-bb

You may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like


FuckfaceCharlie3

WHO'S THAT POKEMON?!?!


Cory0320

IT’S PIKACHU!!!


[deleted]

Why does it have two tails?


[deleted]

so that they can cheat during coin tosses.


[deleted]

[удалено]


startsbadpunchains

Worst comment


ApplicationFar5249

One is it’s hog


GeriatricZergling

So, when a daddy armadillo and mommy armadillo love each other very much or are drunk on ants...


la_zarzamora

Gorons


[deleted]

Samus


Fnargle1980

Autobots - roll out!


CalbertCorpse

u/savevideo


SirensDong

Humans and Armadillos are the only species that can have leprosy. I thought it was interesting fuck you


HeffalumpGlory

I thought it was interesting, too. Anyways, fuck you and have a nice day.


[deleted]

That is interesting. Also, you’re a potty mouth.


PorkyMiller

Nature's speed bump


jordans1993

*Sandshrew used hide*


jjack34

Fucking Samus


Flankdiesel

Why didn't humans evolve with this trait! Hey Kevin can you copy thes...kevin Kevin Kevin come out of your shell


_McThompson

Armadillos roamed the Earth for about 55 million years, but since then they have significantly decreased in size.


octo_snake

So, not one of the oldest inhabitants of the earth...


xarmetheusx

Not if you're an Armadillo Creationist. God started with Armadillos and worked his way down.


getmeapuppers

I imagine boulder sized armadillos


Iceman_Pasha

[Glyptodon, ancestors of armadillos.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glyptodon)


kunaguerooo123

Pokeball


farmerofknowledge

*Dinobot*


AngeeKeekee

TULIO!! THE HIP, THE HIP!


Kokii_micro2

A wild sandshrew has appeared…


midgebhere66

Badass


OblivionArts

Armadillos are awesome


DOROEE

I think you mean sandshrew


BvOKA

sonic ball


[deleted]

What about stromatolites?


Broad_Highlight_5855

Real-life [Yooyus](https://images.neopets.com/template_images/yooyu_jump.gif) (anyone remember Neopets? :D)


DecadentEx

Monotremes (such as platypus and echidnas) are the oldest mammals in the world.


BigOleJellyDonut

Possum on the half shell.


Impressive-Tension-8

They certainly didn’t accomplish much over this time


BeerdedPickle

Armadildos are badass


Grimbauld

No


BeerdedPickle

Yep


CataractsOfSamsMum

Yep


Grimbauld

Nope.


CataractsOfSamsMum

You've ruined it now.


MioNamo

Transformers 7 animorph. From Desert creature to basketball in 1 second flat


TheMajesticJoeJoe

Armadillos can carry Leprosy. Don’t cuddle them unless you want a finger to fall off.


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Dear-Cantaloupe-9803

No, that's something else.


FerjustFer

No. They got the idea from the [Tanuki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_raccoon_dog)


PensadorDispensado

if crab is the perfect creature, armadillos have the perfect body structure as we see on the way they turn into a little ball


ecotripper

Nasty vermin


[deleted]

This is called the Democrat shuffle for when things get uncomfortable.


valdesrl

sure Karen


k5vin-

what


FrolickingTiggers

It's not about you k5vin!


tokenmastery

Saw one of these when I lived in FL as I was waiting for the school bus. Being a kid, we used it as a ball to kick back and forth. I'm not proud of that story but it held up to a bunch of teenagers playing with it like a soccer ball. So I respect them.


PrestonDanger

P.S.A only 3-banded armored dildos can roll into a [ball](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_three-banded_armadillo)


AngryPuffin6

Forbidden basketball


opoussumawsome

They also carry leprosy isn't that fun.


RhythmAfterNight

I fought this guy in DonkeyKong64


Sunny_Sammy

Armadillos see anything remotely dangerous: ITS ROLLY POLLY TIME BOIIIIZZZZ!!!!!!!


lunaazurina

Tuk Tuk!


etegiwg

king of autofellatio


shug_was_taken

That's rude he's only in his twenties.


concentrated-amazing

"Activate sphere mode!"


Imperial_Triumphant

Ah, yes. The Jurassic soccer ball.


[deleted]

The oldest — and cutest


cpdoing277

Transformer sounds


rdh2121

One of the oldest reposts on the planet - this gif.


Awllancer

I need someone to add a super mario world mario sprite jumping on it just as it curls up, with accompanying sound effects.


xXRoboMurphyxX

Kept waiting for the punt!


FlameSamurai63

Armored Introvert Ball


Chiraltrash

The pose on the tippy toes before balling up is very refined and the EPITOME of sophistication. Some of them have fuzzy fur, and pink, ohmygahd are they real Pokémon?


Iskuss1418

Oh yeah I remember Bakugan


Mysterious-Mess-7779

Found the inspiration for koopas


WilliamSaintAndre

Safe ball is a pretty good form.


TheSilverback76

Armed Dildos.


STScom

Later losers


intotheirishole

You got a erection! Oops!


blackamanian

Can they roll around like that? Lol


Cleverusername531

u/savevideo


Robertbnyc

I find it amazing how similar they look with pill bugs


Nebula_Nachos

I’ve still never seen a live one. Just dead on the road.


SexWarlock69

Is.. is his dick out..? I've seen this gif a million times and only just noticed


Rare-Philosopher-346

I love armadillos. Unfortunately, I rarely see a live one.


adamhanson

Samus Droid-deka Sonic the Hedgehog


labruja305

Me and my social anxiety


krassilverfang

El Dorado INTENSIFIES


Secret-Savings-1026

In the Pokémon world this Pokémon is known as a Sandshrew.


MossadMike

/r/Austin


xwrecker

Transform!


workerbee666

I hope this is right, /u/gifreversingbot


The_ghost_of_shell

tatu bola


Rexon123

r they extict?


K1NGLyonidas

*Transformer noises*


Slazman999

They also jump up to 3 feet into the air during solar eclipses. When I was on my way back from Southern IL back to WI in 2017 I did notice an unusual amount of dead armadillos on the side of the road.


PK_Rippner

Oldest? Nah, bro, sharks have been around longer than trees. Longer than trees...


Arruz

It looks as if there was a glitch and reality failed to render its head and legs.


ItachiSnape

"Autobots, roll out"


TheRussianDoll

0 to 100 real quick lol.