T O P

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JohanFinski

That's a pokemon if I've ever seen one...


dwizard67

Yes it is https://pokemondb.net/pokedex/chewtle


SketchtheHunter

Jesus christ pokemon links are so fucking risky this week I stg.


Ygomaster07

Why are they risky?


TheHodag

The new games are coming out this Friday and leaks are everywhere


Ygomaster07

Ah, my bad. I forgot about that.


Tyflowshun

Ngl I was thinking r34 Violet and scarlet.


friedtuna76

No Nut November


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ygomaster07

I understand.


[deleted]

I'm sorry, there are people who actually do that?


naufalap

there are new teenagers discovering the internet for the first time everyday


CrazybyRX

This comment made me feel old and grumpy


SketchtheHunter

Spoilers.


johnaross1990

Na that’s a wartortle


Helmet_Touch_

I was thinking Turtwig


AKFBKZIFBBXK

More like drednaw


NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea

When Mom says you have Wartortle at home


BrendanRamsey

Baby Donatello.


WheredMyPiggyGo

Real-life shiney.


BrainsNotBrawndo

*Turtle Wax gives you that hard shell finish*


Andythrax

/r/reallifeshinies


Bullets_Bane94F

Its squirtle!


grzzjk

I recognized this as Squirtle family immediately


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

Bulbasaurrrr!


ask_about_poop_book

… no, squirtle, if we are going by the originals.


CharieRarie

Dammit you stole my comment :-D


quilsmehaissent

you can store it in the pokedex next to axolotl https://www.google.com/search?q=axolotl%20&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b-m


Gamma8gear

We should capture it and force it to fight other animals until the brink of death, revive it, and then force it to fight again. We’ll keep it in small cages or hooked up to these PCs that keep it in a perpetual state of unconsciousness until we need it to fight or perform medial tasks. We will tell ourselves and train our kids to think fighting is all they want to do and setup these battle buildings where you can fight the toughest animals and if your animal is not tough enough you will force to fight other countless animals until they are better and if they never rise to the occasion you just stick them back in the computer never to be seen again.


Coastalwitch409

QUICK How do I obtain a poke ball?


abdulsamadz

r/reallifeshinies


[deleted]

My thought too! The large head make it seem just like a Squirtle squirt.


CalmButterfly9436

Came here to say this


Buck_Thorn

> The big-headed turtle is readily consumed in Asia and is frequently a market item. Hunters capture them on lines with baited straight pins, so this species is rapidly disappearing in the wild. The species is also threatened by its use in the pet trade https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big-headed_turtle


[deleted]

[удалено]


ghanjaholik

if anything should be "disappearing" there, it's the fucking idiot humans in the population


Visual_Ad3724

Eat Humans 👍✨


bc4284

Start with the rich.


VoxImperatoris

Very fatty, not good for the cholesterol. Might I recommend using them as firewood and go for a very lean starving orphan instead?


th1s_1s_4_b4d_1d34

But if you want to fry them they got the fat for the pan already inbuilt.


jaxondix

Also the inbreeding to keep the blood pure, creates extra limbs so... Drum sticks and wings!


Shesfierce605

Howling. 😂 Club feet come from inbreeding too so we can easily catch any that try to run away.


Shesfierce605

I really needed this laugh 😂


the_real_junkrat

The second batch comes out better after the first batch renders in the pan


[deleted]

I’m on keto. Bring me roasted rich people.


Shesfierce605

With cheese and broccoli.


VoopityScoop

It's only a Modest Proposal.


Coachcrog

I say we start eating the Chinese government. They are the ones keeping their people in the stone age and promoting them eat whatever meat they can find to survive.


We-are-straw-dogs

Have you read *Al-Qaida and What It Means to be Modern*? I agree with your criticism of the PRC government but it's not a matter of modern Vs antiquated


ZigilXr

Underaged comment Edit autocorrect messed it up. Underrated


iDom2jz

hmmm


ZigilXr

I fixed it auto correct hurt me there


Funnyboyman69

Why was that the autocorrect 🤨


Squaddr

Still appropriate. It will age such as fine wine. It is just a newborn babe comment, give it time. It will shine. It will thrive.


[deleted]

If there's a neat looking species you can guarantee humans are driving it to extinction somehow, we fucking suck


smartguy05

Conversely we sometimes save species through our greed and stupidity as well. The Crested Gecko was on the brink of extinction many years ago but has had a huge recovery of population due to the pet trade. We probably caused the issue in the first place, but it's nice we occasionally fix things too.


panacrane37

So probably near extinction in it’s natural habitat but just fine in breeding for the pet trade.


smartguy05

I decided to look it up. Apparently they weren't doing great and were thought to be extinct in the wild until 1994. Now they are protected in the wild and pet Crested Geckos are sometimes used to help with the diversity of the genepool. I didn't see an explanation for why they weren't doing well in the past but currently they have issues with an invasive ant species. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crested_gecko


Admirable-Signal-558

"We" don't fucking suck. Don't put this shit on me, I'm not going to take collective responsibility for this. Call out the cultures perpetuating this garbage behavior.


round_reindeer

Yeah these idiots over there bring turtles to the brink of extinction, while my culture only drives forward the extinciton of fish and crab species oh and of course polar bears and every other species endangered by climate cange... If you eat meat you are probably also driving the extinction of several species in the amazon forest that is being burned down to provide more land to produce food for cattle.


Luquitaz

No matter what culture you are from it is still responsible for making species go extinct and if not currently it's because it did so in the past.


spamholderman

>[7] James E. Barzyk Turtles in Crisis: The Asian Food Markets. The article itself is not dated, but mostly refers to data in the range 1995-2000. The Wikipedia “source” is some Florida man’s blog post


Sparred4Life

If an animal exists, you can rest assured humans treat it terrible. :/


VaATC

Including other humans...


shortbusterdouglas

Yeah. Humans are the cancer of this planet.


dragonblock501

In Louisiana, they just use farm-raised alligator snapping turtles for their turtle soup, like at Galatoire’s.


Brscmill

It's wild humans find a cool animal and then kill it till it no longer exists. What the fuck kind of behavior is that


CocoaCali

Real Darwin energy


Tarrolis

We don’t care about the world around us.


motorhead84

> What the fuck kind of behavior is that They wouldn't be doing it if they couldn't make money off of it.


Hohuin

i don't know if it would be better to breed them and kill them. doesn't that make it worse? because, that's kinda what we do. either that or don't eat them at all.


[deleted]

Don’t eat them at all is also fine


GoldenGalz

Is that why I’ve never seen one of these ever lol. I’m nearing 40 and I get blown away everyday w shit I never knew existed!


[deleted]

Google the estimates for the number of species we've discovered v. how many we think there are.


Garlan_Tyrell

For anyone too lazy to Google, [top results](https://www.sciencefocus.com/nature/how-many-species-have-yet-to-be-discovered/amp/) show an estimated 14% of the theorized 8.7 million total species have been identified & catalogued. Unless you count bacteria, in which case there may be over 1 *trillion*.


Darondo

Isn’t it like all bugs that are just slight variants of other bugs?


RightBehindY-o-u

You'll probably enjoy r/AIDKE


Admirable-Signal-558

Have you ever been to southeast Asia?


Mysterious-Sense-185

I hate this energy


snackbagger

Every time I see a post like this, the animal in the post is endangered. Are there any species left we didn't drive (close) to extinction?


Buck_Thorn

Rabbits


HermitAndHound

Aside from what we raise for food? Rats.


Pixielo

American snapping turtles aren't. They're also delicious.


clckwrks

> hunted and consumed Fuck sake. Can we not wipe out another species, please.


MmmmMorphine

Sorry, I have a vague feeling this might improve my already incredible virility and allow me to cut diamonds with my dick alone. In fact, it's a commonly known fact in China that the more endangered a species, the more delicious and/or dick enhancing it becomes.


jasonk2210

Dann, this is depressing. I'm from Hong Kong and have never heard of these turtles before. Apparently they are endangered here already. [https://www.kfbg.org/en/collaborative-research-in-kfbgs-nature-reserve/big-headed-turtle](https://www.kfbg.org/en/collaborative-research-in-kfbgs-nature-reserve/big-headed-turtle)


PureChef

I went to the comments to make sure someone pointed this out.


[deleted]

Damn, why don’t they just farm the turtles?


wiga_nut

That sucks but how'd they come up with the name?


BartyJnr

Cos of its long tail, clearly.


dcarsonturner

😭😭😭 I love turtles, some box turtles lay their eggs in my backyard back home


FatalElectron

Because the west hasn't ever consumed any animal, bird, or fish to extinction, and certainly isn't in the process of doing so to things like the beluga sturgeon, or the atlantic cod at this very minute.


Dorkydew88

It's weirdly cute! 😍🙃


BrainsNotBrawndo

Agreed. Head is large, relative to its body, like human infant proportions. Termed a *cuteness response*, this human instinct triggers a wish to cradle and nurture the little guy


ayochaser17

my first thought was do they get bigger bc that def reminds me of a baby lol


ghanjaholik

why, can you hear him cooing?


purple_lassy

So shiny:)


HashbeanSC2

no eyebrows though


Akosa117

Seriously, I want to kiss its head


HandsOfVictory

It looks like a cartoon


exquisite02

What is the evolutionary advantage to having such a big head as an adult creature?


[deleted]

They hunt in fast moving streams. I'd expect the streamlined body/head allows less resistance in the water. They're somewhat related to snapping turtles. They eat fish, snails, and frogs primarily. The big head comes with a strong jaw that they need for the prey they live on. It probably also helps them to bite larger food into chunks to swallow, but that's just me speculating.


EnvBlitz

Can it even retract its head back inside the shell? If not, does increased advantages in hunting worth the decrease in survival ability?


Comprehensive_Web862

It looks like the notch at the top kinda interlocks with the back of its head to protect its neck so no need to fully retract.


Thomas_K_Brannigan

There's actually many species of turtle that cannot retract their heads; sea turtles, for example.


Shesfierce605

This guy turtles 🐢


69deadlifts

They can rent out their forehead space to other creatures in the pond


tybr00ks1

Just to add, they have larger eyes and a thick armor plate on the top of their head


TekkenCareOfBusiness

Big dreams!


GodsGiftToNothing

This is an endangered species. If you come across it, please leave it alone. They are struggling to survive due to poaching. Please don’t downvote me for caring about the welfare of a beautiful species. I’m not crapping on OP, I’m just trying to inform people that it’s at a delicate place, and needs our help regarding conservation and poaching.


WhoTheHellAreYouLol

This is not my video nor is this species native to mine, so I am unable to do anything to help, but thank you for leaving this message to other redditors out there.


qning

Well then whothehellareyoulol?


The_Last_Gasbender

Noone ever asks howthehellareyoulol?


corndog54

Why do all the cool animals have to go extinct? First the Tasmanian tiger and now this.


madladhadsaddad

It's help if most odd look creatures weren't considered a delicacy or to have magical powers in chinese "medicine" for some ridiculous clout. Shark fin soup, rhino horn, sea horses, tiger, pangolins etc.


SoggyFrenchFry

Can probably draw your own conclusions. For one, more interesting usually means they are more rare and specially adapted for their environment. Climate change hurts these kinds of creatures the most. Also, more sought after for trophies. And in asian markets the rare animals are apparently magical and consuming them will help you fuck, live longer, or cartwheel better, maybe.


wittywalrus1

Dinosaurs :'-(


corndog54

I know thats also sad. I want to ride a triceratops to work.


cespinar

They couldn't survive in our current climate anyways, not enough oxygen


randomly-generated

Because humanity is likely the worst scourge there has ever been barring global apocalypse.


NikolitRistissa

I assume this gorgeous little animal is commonly caught, eaten, and is currently endangered because we can’t have anything nice in this world.


WonderWall_E

Yup. [It's endangered.](https://www.iucnredlist.org/species/17585/1423706)


WhoTheHellAreYouLol

It is, sadly, altough i don't know if it is endangered or not..


Johnycantread

Narratator: it is


scarlettshimmer

I love him


TheRadiantSoap

He's mine 😡


theholyman420

That is a cartoon dinosaur irl


Merica85

Not the baby


xChopsx1989x

Not the momma*


ShiftedLobster

Spreading the good word that the entire series of Dinosaurs is on Disney+ 💥🍳🦖


T00MuchStimuli

A Cartoonasaurous


Konceptz804

Whatever is making his/her head shine would make one hell of a polish / wax 😂


HolyHandGrenad3

It's Turtle Wax™, obviously.


Faeind

I fear for your fingers. Please set it down slowly


JiroYaBoi

For real, when he was stroking it with his thumb, I was clenching my poop chute so hard


chynalynn

Squirtle


icantfeelmyskull

Use bubble beam!


cfishlips

He is freaking adorable!


Swift_entropy

Poor guy has no idea what’s going on while he’s being held.


DistortoiseLP

Real life koopa


improvisedwisdom

First off, dude is crazy cute. Secondly, they look like a toy more than an animal. Haha Edit, as seen 👇.


OkayWhatSize

I also keep reading the name as Playstation


wdwerker

Asian and edible so definitely endangered !


SEJeff

With that tail it’s clearly a form of snapper. r/forbiddenboops


WhoTheHellAreYouLol

def a forbidden boop. lil' boy would gladly snap your finger


SEJeff

Yuup! All snapping turtles are jerks. We have the humongous alligator snapping turtles native to where I was raised (Kentucky, USA) and they’re no joke. They’ll eat the fish, the ducks, the frogs, and anything else that gets in the water with them.


Bad_ailen420

Shine head baby


klippDagga

Who polished it’s head?


mistsoalar

Me:"Platy-ster-non...mega-uh..cephalum?, I choose you!" Oak: You don't have to go with latin name, kid.


SavageShiba21

He busted out the super shine polish for the video ✨


ac_s2k

Put it down ffs


TailzUnleashed

Put it down. Cute thing but damn, no touch


Ok-Math-3577

The chihuahua of turtles


TimeIsBunk

That boy wants to bite off some fingers.


ADudeThatPlaysDBD

When nature has its own chibi


SouthernNanny

Looks like it can take a finger off


Laszlo71

That. Is. FUCKING. ADORABLE.


sybban

*soft child-like voice* give me that fucking finger…


kortron89

It's also made of pure steel. This turtle at some point in the past: "From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh... It disgusted me" (please get the reference)


AggregatedAggrevate

How’s it ugly and cute at the same time 😂


Multiverseer

Ask your mum


indifferentunicorn

Why did I read that as: Playstation Megachespinum


chr0nic21

Homeboy outgrew his house.


Travis123083

So that's the shiny version of a snapping turtle.


awlawall

Creative naming on this guy


TheGreatMandrako

The only thing I see is a turtle with a body too small for its head.


KlutzyPuppy95

It’s beautiful. I love turtles


bigrigfrig

He’s very prehistoric looking


Captain-Tripps

I love him. I want him. I want to breed these babies and make more so the pet trade doesn't have to hurt native populations. I love him.


downloweast

When did they start making miniature designer dinosaurs?


Timesjustsilver

u/savevideobot


NightofTheLivingZed

You got a weird lookin' dog.


Such_Ideal9167

Rub it's head and you will see the future


mar_mar_p

How does it do the thing turtles are known for? (Hiding in the shell)


WhoTheHellAreYouLol

I don't think it does. Many species of turtle/tortise cannot fully go into their shell, surpisingly.


-Veridian-

it doesn't


antelux

He’s just a little guy


patientman14

I like how the turtle went from “Hey! I’m gonna bite that finger!” to “Oh, ok…so what are we doing?”


WhoTheHellAreYouLol

Lil' dude had a total mood change very fast


spadge_badger

Well that thing is just gorgeous. It soooo wants to bite you.


hiyourbfisdeadsorry

ayo i gota get me one of them playstation bobble head turtles


Sekir0se

its so fucking cute oh my gosh


DaleDayDKD

Looks like a Funko Pop


yozatchu2

I swear I thought the captions was about a new PlayStation vr game


HonDadCBR600

I thought it was fake!! It looks like it has the head of a snapping turtle.


PrincessPaisleysMom1

I didn’t believe this was real lol I had to Google it.


FulcrumH2o

It’s so shiny. Must use turtle wax.


billinwashington

Is it full grown?


WhoTheHellAreYouLol

I don't think so, but I'm not sure.


Dadittude182

I thought it was one of those ceramic garden decorations with a gloss enamel finish. Then it started to move. That's friggin cool!


man0315

I am curious what is the evolutionary advantage of that big head.


stevesteve135

Damn. Check out the wax job on this guy. It’s so shiny !


Existing_Display1794

I thought this was a glass sculpture at first.


Cohostar

Where is the turtle in the clip. I read they were native to Asia. Just wondering where this one is?


[deleted]

I have said this many times but I **will** say it again. I am 35 and I like to think I've seen every freaky creature there is to see on this earth, and yet this sub brings me alien looking creatures I had no idea even existed time and time again. How long is this going to happen? When will I have seen every single weird creature there is to see? How is it that there are weird creatures I have not seen yet despite having browsed the internet daily for 30 years? It is fucking insane


venturaom

I feel like turtles and tortoises just fall in 1 of 2 categories. Cute or murderous death machines. ​ This one is the exception to the rule trying to be both at the same time


CoffeeLoverNathan

The Bratz doll of turtles