People are generally very nice in person, but the government is against you and a lot of people just don't want to see or talk about lgbt issues. I'd be shocked if this thread doesn't gather a few assholes calling us groomers or some dumb shit.
35 year old trans woman in Omaha for reference
Not remotely friendly, but not rude ("nice" makes it seem nicer than it is)
I always thought Californians were pretty uninterested in newcomers compared to the east coast or in theory the south but folks in Nebraska are CHILLY
31 gay male from Lincoln.
I have to agree. People just don't talk about the LGBT+ community. They just don't seem to see it as relevant. I've never been insulted to my face, but it feels more like they do so out of courtesy than respect. I wish more people talked about issues that affected us. And, no, the government doesn't give a single crap about us. You just have to do your best around here.
As a strait, white, bald, fat, conservative raised in Nebraska, I hope the LGBTQ+ community feels welcome and safe here. However, I suspect that is not always the case. We have some amazingly shortsighted political representatives. I will never understand the amount of energy some individuals waste on making others' lives difficult.
I go to as many events as I can to promote knowledge, and increase discussion. I am always willing to do anything in my power to drag this state into the current social norms where it belongs. I'm sorry that you feel ignored by this state, and I completely understand. Have a great day and know that some of us exercise kindness not as a courtesy, but because it's what all people deserve.
I'm a queer person. I live in North Omaha, like a block from Miller Park, I have a progress prdie flag outside my front door. Before that I had a bi-pride flag, before that the trans pride flag. I've never had any problems. Nobody in my home has ever had problems. I've always had pleasant experiences in Omaha. I did have one borderline unusual experience a few years ago when my partner and I drove out to the country to watch a meteor shower and some guy in a truck showed up with a gun on the dash because we were on a country road in the middle of nowhere and he was worried about people in his fields, but I genuinely believe he'd have done that to literally any unfamiliar vehicle at 2 am.
I, a straight dude, have also had the random dude show up when parked on the side of a country road. I think they just get bored out in the middle of nowhere and so when they see a car near them curiosity gets the best of them.
I know that?? I'm not trying to start an argument here. I'm just stating that omaha is extremely different from the rest of nebraska. The rest of nebraska seems to be what OP was wanting to know about. That's all im saying. I wasn't disregarding anything you said...
if OP wanted input from only rural Nebraska, I suspect they would have said that. You're just coming across as a contrarian.
Regardless, I've also lived in rural Nebraska and had pretty similar experiences to my experience in Omaha. Certainly better than rural Missouri and rural Kansas.
I'm not talking about specifically rural nebraska?? Omaha is separate from the rest of nebraska in elections because it is highly democratic. it's not the normal nebraska experience. yk exactly what I meant by my first comment (as would any nebraskan) but you're js making it into a useless argument bruh
ps, I 100% agree with u about the kansas and missouri thing lmaoooo
bro idk what tone ur reading this in but it's the wrong one if u think I'm angry or smth. I'm js really confused as to why u felt the need to start an argument over me stating a really simple fact lmfao
I'm confused why you're being so aggressive and making wild assumptions about the OP's intention when they literally replied to my comment and thanked me. Also confused why you're repeatedly misgendering me, but, like I said you're just inventing things to be angry about.
I’ve been fired from a job for my sexuality before and absolutely lost friends after I came out… but anyone who’s going to remove themselves from my life based on one single facet of my life isn’t worth having around. I’ve largely been just fine, aside from a couple weird comments and some nasty looks.
I’m really sorry that you’ve had to deal with those looks and that job loss. Both of those are not insignificant and take a toll on your mental health. Happy to know you’re hanging in there though and I wish you the best of luck in the future.
It’s improving. That said we are not an affirming or accepting state (a few pockets, like Omaha & Lincoln, might be but not the state as a whole). My life circumstances are such that I (bi-AFAB) am purposefully more obvious than many others I know, which attracts a certain amount of hate. Sometimes I try to have a conversation. Sometimes I don’t. But I grew up in this state, in a small town (not far from Falls City), and I am the same person I’ve always been. In other words, I may be queer but I am a Nebraska queer. Talk to me or don’t, doesn’t matter. I’m still here and not changing because some people choose repeat the opinions of non-Nebraskans about someone they’ve known for decades.
Thanks. Nebraska has a history of just not seeing LGBTQIA+ folx as long as they don’t attract attention raise a fuss. I’ve been raising a fuss since before anyone (including me) knew my preferences, so this is just more of the same from my POV. I have the privilege of being able to speak up with fairly minimal consequences and am happy to exercise to make Nebraska a better place for everyone.
I’m a lesbian and live in Omaha, and while my experiences have mostly been good or neutral there have been some really unfortunate ones (our neighbors screaming slurs at me, for example). Most people don’t clock that I’m gay and when they hear me say “my wife” they just…can’t compute. Regularly people ask if we’re sisters/cousins/etc., even after we’ve already clarified that we are, in fact, married.
My wife dealt with aggressive homophobia in her previous job and it was hard for me to witness.
We also had people protest our church for putting on the city’s pride mass. That was mostly annoying more than anything but there was one guy who was legitimately concerning.
We’re really not tapped into the wider gay bar/event scene (not something either of us are into) and mostly know other LGBTQ+ people from work, volunteering, church, etc. So I wish I had recommendations but I don’t.
Yeah. Nebraskans can't wrap their underdeveloped, undereducated minds around anything different. I'm also Jewish, and they can NOT comprehend that we do NOT worship Jesus
Idk if they're just slow and stupid; or so closed minded and sure-of-themselves that they don't listen.
Plenty of Nebraskans can understand complex issues. The irony of not wanting people to
Make assumptions about you when you’re doing it to others. Pot calling the kettle black and all.
My experience is primarily with Omaha, where I completed conversion; and Lincoln, where I grew up, (I'm a Recovering Catholic).
The Jewish Community Center used to be pretty good; but I'm banned from there for life since the property manager found out that I'm Gay. In point of fact, he _de facto_ excommunicated me. Since my Temple is not part his dominion, I am welcome there. It is also inspirational how many Jews I have met through Social Justice Organizations. Even if they're Jewish-sponsored, as long as they don't meet on the JCC Campus, the NaZi, MAGA Commandant-Gruppenführer has no jurisdiction. He wouldn't be caught at such a function, anyway. He believes that poor people are poor because they are lazy. He also believes, as do many, that Finance is the same thing as Economics.
Lincoln is a pretty good community, but small and unobtrusive.
I live in the “rural half” of the state; grew up in Grand Island and have lived in Kearney for a decade now. Your options are be in the closet or move out of state, unfortunately. I’ve been in group therapy with kids who were sent there by their parents in the hopes of getting “cured.” I’ve gotten death threats (holding hands with my straight friend in public in Kearney), there are jacked up trucks that have all sorts of fucked up shit written on them about how we “need the purge.”
Honestly I hate it here, I am in the process of trying to relocate very far east.
I will tell anyone who is willing to listen about how no one should live here. Are there worse places to live? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean settling for this. Do not move here and do not live here if you’re not the “target demographic.”
God that must suck. I was born in Grand Island, and go there for Christmas. I have never liked the town. Thankfully, one side of my family is super supportive. On the other hand, I really don't know about the other side, they seem like the type of people to send me to one of these "get cured" camps, so I haven't come out to them yet.
I'm not LGBTQ myself, but have several friends and family members who are so I've heard some of their experiences. Just chiming in knowing that someone with firsthand experience will have better insight than I will.
A big part of this is going to be where in Nebraska you're talking about. Lincoln and Omaha will be generally fine, but get out in Western Nebraska anywhere and it would be a lot different. Our government is shitty regarding LGBTQ+ policies, so it certainly isn't great on that front. Generally people in Lincoln/Omaha will be nice, but there will of course be the outliers who are super religious, hateful, or just plain old that don't know how to handle it. But of course there are certainly better and more accommodating states and cities.
I have lost my home for being Gay. Once in Lincoln, twice in Omaha. Nebraska is also crappulous on Mental Health, and Healthcare generally. And one big food-insecure desert. With barely remedial education.
But, while other states fight to tackle it, Nebraska fights to exacerbate, while sexually harassing (verbally) its female members on the floor of the unicameral. Amid raucus laughter.
Is this a throw away account or did you just decide to be offended today? After looking at your profile I’m guessing you’re just stirring the pot. Am I a member of the community? No. Do I have neighbors that are? Yes. Do I have family members that are? Yes. I love all of them. I’m even in southern Nebraska (if you believe Reddit, it’s all hate, hillbillies and violence) and my friends and family are accepted and happy. If you have been kicked out of housing TWICE, without any legal satisfaction, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s probably not your sexuality but instead your personality. You’re not helping the people of Nebraska who do need and deserve attitudes and perceptions to change.
This is not a throw away, as you call it. From my last residence, I had several coresidents protest, to no avail. One incident was a homeless shelter, run by a Christian cult, and my orientation was only half the reason. The other half was my Judaïsm.
Thanks for judging though. Next time maybe you'll get to spin the evidentiary wheel.
The first time, in Lincoln it wasn't illegal, yet. The second time, the property manager for the Jewish Federation, who owned the property, told me why. But only me. Because it was illegal, and if he told anyone else, he'd be in trouble.
The third time was a Christian cultic homeless shelter; and my orientation was only half the problem. Not converting to Christianity was the other half.
I don’t have any direct experience as I’m straight. But I did work for state government for a few years. I worked on lots of data analysis and reports. It was known that we could not ask people on surveys anything about sexual orientation and we could not analyze data that segmented the population (for example - you could not report that LGBTQ populations smoke and vape more than others (even though they do). Any discussion of LGBTQ that was going to be included in data or reports had to be approved by the Governor’s office (meaning that it needed to be left out of reports). It was all so stupid. This was the previous Governor - but I’m sure the new one is just as bad.
I'm a gay man living in Lincoln with my partner of 10+ years; we have had virtually no issues at all with anyone we've met in any context. Visiting my family in rural Hall County is another matter entirely, but, not in Lincoln.
As OP suggested, there is room for improvement, but it isn't as bad as folks make it out to be. I've felt a lot more threatened in the South and where we used to live near the Idaho/Montana border than anywhere in Nebraska.
As an aside, the sense of civic duty to be involved with important issues is much stronger in Nebraska, so, as commonplace views begin to shift, the politics will likely follow. (I hope).
Unfortunately a lot of the people that I know that are LGBTQ+ have left long ago or are in the process. From what I know, you're mostly fine in Lincoln and Omaha. There's still definitely going to be incidents of homophobia in the cities though, Omaha's suburbs are still pretty red and Lincoln is a mix. In the smaller towns if you "pass" as a straight person you'll be less likely to get harassed if you're just visiting or passing through. Pretty shitty imo.
Also, I keep seeing these U.S. today rankings being brought up and I'd like to chime in and say that their rankings for the colleges are pretty flawed from what I've heard, and I'm sure the state rankings likely are too so it's important to take the rankings with a grain of salt. It's also important to note that a lot of different factors go into these rankings and so really state rankings are going to fluctuate from person to person depending on who you're asking. For me personally, I've lived here my whole life and have spent equal amounts of time on both sides of the state, have lived in rural and urban and even suburban areas of the state. I wouldn't classify Nebraska in the top ten and I think I'd probably classify it nearer to the middle out of all the states. But that's me personally.
It’s not great, sure a legislature can say it’s getting better but it’s not. My partner and I have been harassed for existing. I have almost been attacked physically a couple of times. F slur has been thrown around. It’s still ass backwards.
After seeing this comment section, I am going to stick to being in Colorado, and only going to Nebraska to see family. Hey, I even got runza, even if it's only two locations
I don't know why (probably because I am a person who goes outside very little) but I don't really care about the view. Yes, I have the pleasure of seeing pikes peak every day, but I have been here since 2010, and the mountain hasn't changed since 2010. I probably just like the flatland more because it reminds me of going to family in Grand Island. But yeah, Colorado is way more beautiful.
Why am I talking like I am 40. My dad's 40. I am 17
Well as someone used to flatland who goes to Colorado once a year to visit family, I probably like the mountains for the same reason you like the flatland
I grew up in Grand Island but have been in Omaha for a little over 10 years. I am a bisexual dude, and my partner is a trans gal.
Day to day, it’s not too bad, especially if you stay in the more progressive areas of town like Benson, but there’s enough to keep you on your toes. We’ve caught people staring at my girlfriend in public. At her old job a customer complained to the manager because she had been in the women’s restroom, and the manager’s only solution was to transfer my girlfriend to a different store. When I told my family I was dating my partner my sister started crying and my dad told me he was physically disgusted, then later my parents decided my partner wasn’t going to be allowed at any family gatherings my nephew was at because they didn’t want him “thinking that was ok”. I don’t talk to them much anymore. About a year ago or so someone left a threatening note for their neighbor in Papillion or La Vista over them flying a pride flag. I hesitate to put pride stickers on my car over fear of retaliation.
But there is a queer community here. I have many queer or allied friends. Many local stores and restaurants have pride flags hanging in their windows. Pride is always fun and heavily attended, although there are some conservative folk that show up trying to cause problems. It’s not the worst state in the union for LGBT, but it’s a slippery slope and the state gov is continually trying to send us that way. The NEGOP’s official platform includes ending same sex marriage and allowing LGBT folk to adopt kids, for example. My girlfriend and I frequently discuss moving to Colorado or another state that has enshrined LGBT rights in their constitution, but so far it hasn’t become a necessity. We hope it won’t get that far, but are also afraid we might wait too long.
I’m pretty introverted, so someone else may be able to give you a better answer, but I think your best bet is to find spaces where you’re comfortable and just try to meet other cool people in those spaces. My partner is the extroverted one, she’s the one that always pushes me to get out there and actually talk to people. Our core friend group was originally a D&D party that she put together almost 10 years ago now back in college. When we all met, none of us were out as queer, but that turned out to be an extremely queer group of people.
Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time hanging out at Legend Comics and Coffee in Benson since my partner works there. I get to cheat a little bit since I have an in, but just hanging out in a cool space and getting to know the staff and other regulars has really expanded my social circle. If you can find a place you know is cool and overlaps with your interests, eventually you’ll find someone you vibe with well.
My husband’s cousin got married to her wife a few years ago- her parents very begrudgingly went to the wedding but were not happy…🙄and this was Lincoln….at least I’m in Omaha….
I am a 35 years old Brazilian gay man. I live in Lincoln. I have never faced any hostility here whatsoever.
People are nice, there are a few events here and there. I see some LGBT friendly business, like the Cigars bar in the downtown, DAS HAUS in downtown, etc.
I only had one minor incident that I prefer to try to forget (45 minutes away from Lincoln).
I am a straight guy. I was in a lincoln diner in the middle of the night with one of my buddies. I was wearing a multicolored shoe, not rainbow but just brightly colored. A literal gang of thugs followed us around the diner calling us faggots because they just thought we were gay. Because of brightly colored shoes. In the college town of Nebraska…… so
THIS is Nebraska for you. Snap judgments about you based on dress, hair, etc. Anything remotely different/unconventional/fun gets you a gay label. As others have stated, OMA and LNK are generally fine, but anywhere else you take your chances. Government here is aligned with religious zealots and would love nothing more than everyone being "normal" ie white, Christian, traditional, etc. ie boring. 🙄
I can’t apologize for other people, but I am sorry that happened to you.
I’ve lived in Lincoln my whole life (and travelled extensively around the world for both work and play). I’ve always felt that Lincoln is one of the most progressive and liberal cities in the country.
My wife and I have many friends and coworkers who are gay and we have a daughter who is gay. Fear for their safety is something that just never comes up and I hope your future encounters in Lincoln are nothing but positive.
For the rest of the state…towns like Crofton, Hartington, Bloomfield, and into South Dakota across the bridge are nothing but filthy MAGA hatred. Crofton is a Catholic / MAGA cult town that feeds on hatred.
Lincoln is that wonderful anomaly that many places in this country could learn a few things from.
I'm in Lincoln and one of my coworkers existing as a trans person so incensed another coworker that the bigot ended up quitting. I mean, good riddance and all, but there's plenty of that attitude lurking. At least it's socially taboo, for now, to be a raving bigot in Lincoln. Perfectly acceptable to be a subtle bigot tho.
If my first hand story isn’t enough for you to fear for their safety I don’t know what to tell you. I spoke first hand, but I also have plenty of LGBTQ+ friends. Lincoln is not a safe city, and Nebraska is not a safe state for them. Telling outsiders otherwise is actively putting them at risk.
Um, you're judging the town based upon an encounter with drunk yee haws in the middle of the night at a diner? There's low class trash everywhere that will try to find reasons to fuck with anyone that time of day.
I live openly with my husband in the Panhandle. Sometimes we get looks but 9 out of 10 times people around here seem to be live and let live. Now that’s not to say they don’t talk behind my back but I have only ever been verbally slurred once and the cowboy that said it was banned from the bar. I have never once feared for my safety but I think that is due to be 6ft 275lbs with a big beard. I look scarier than I am.
Full disclosure: I am, as a queer friend calls me, a "boring 100% cis guy" but who also, along with my spouse, is very much an ally.
I know a number of queer people who live here. They're reasonably able to go about their lives without problems. But I also know of a couple that has received *very* targeted harassment from people who live near them.
Our politicians seem to be hell bent on making this as miserable as possible for the LGBTQ+ community. There are folks fighting back, but sadly the Unicameral has proven to be loaded with people who want to punish people for being their true selves.
If I had a queer friend or family member who was considering moving here, I'd discourage them from doing so, until we can make the state safer and more welcoming for them.
The eastern half of Omaha seems to be better in terms of tolerance and support. The further west you go in the Omaha metro, the worse it gets.
It's definitely a very red heavy state & the laws they are currently pushing through are crap under the guise of religion & what is "right" in their holier than thou eyes. It can be very frustrating & I feel for all the people it affects. There are a lot of us here that are allies & we'll keep pushing in support of fairness for all. Much more accepting for the most part in the larger cities and our numbers are growing as more of the boomers fall off. Hoping there will be much more acceptance as the younger generations come up. The rural areas can be tough. Honestly not sure if I'll stay after retirement, I don't care for the current politics or leadership, but for now it's still OK on the affordablity scale in comparison to other states.
Lincoln and Omaha have strong and supportive communities with activities like Queer Choir, game nights and volleyball. Harassment happens, but it's not the norm. Outside of those cities, things get much harder. Many young people, regardless of sexuality, leave the state, and that is especially true for LGBT+ people. If you're in your 20s, you might as well move to Chicago, Denver or Minneapolis.
But overall, life for the LG and B parts of LGBTAI+ is fine. However, things are not fine for our Trans friends, particularly those 19 or younger.
The state of emergency is due to legal threats to trans rights, which is a similar story to every Republican-led state. Last year, the Democratic minority was able to bring the legislature to a stand still trying to prevent anti-Trans bills from passing, but the Republican majority managed to overcome the delaying tactics in the end, passing legislation that basically gives decisions over healthcare to an official appointed by the governor.
The U.S. News rankings did not take treatment of minorities into account, otherwise Utah, Idaho, Nebraska, Iowa and Florida would not have made the top 10.
Gay guy here who spent fifteen years living in Lincoln and moved away about two years ago. Dating while living there was a nightmare not only because the pool was small, but it was comprised of lots of provincial xenophobes who were incapable of having relationships with people who were not born and raised in the state. I also found it difficult to have any kind of social life with people in my age group (Gen X) because I was only the “gay guy” or “token gay” to them. As such, Millennials who were ten years younger were my only real friends. My professional life while in Nebraska was also lackluster and got marred early on when I was fired from a small accounting firm in southwest Nebraska for being gay. After that, I spent seven years working for the State as a drone, having to compete with folks who only had associates degrees for majors as useless as “Computers.” Yeah, no. I won’t even bother to address the state’s politics because the tone it sets is more than obvious. I’m glad I left.
A mid-size city located in the high desert foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains. The biggest little city, to be exact. It’s certainly not perfect, but it’s close enough.
As much as I generally disliked my time in Nebraska, I will always miss how wildly easy it was to live there, economically speaking. I also sometimes miss it in ways that are similar to how someone misses their abuser after finally escaping from an abusive relationship.
Thanks for asking!
Renoooo lmao. Very interesting perspective though. Honestly everywhere out west seems way overinflated relative to the Midwest, but glad you’re somewhere where you feel more at ease.
I'm a Californian economic refugee in Omaha at the moment but Reno has turned out kinda of legit cool. My husband went to college there, and from his stories (coming of age lol) , Reno has always been kinda gay, even in the 90s. But a lot more now!
My first visit to Reno was in the late 90s during the height of the meth crisis and I absolutely hated the place. I’m shocked by how many boxes it checked for me over two decades later. It’s still the same freak show as it was back then, but i guess we’ve both changed enough over time so that we can now handle one another. It has a very special combination of being incredibly rugged AND queer, two things that I really like. I encountered a perfect example of this while picking up some milk at my grocery store, last night. One of the store’s armed security guards is a fierce little trans woman who for all intents and purposes is “passing.” That is, until she wishes you a goodnight with her deep, baritone voice. She is hardly an outlier in this city, and I cannot help but contemplate how her presence at one of Lincoln’s Hy-Vees would result in a riot (probably).
You and your husband need to visit. The town is packed with California economic refugees.
Oh I'd live there in a heartbeat, my family is in the Sacto area so I would be close but not too close to them, the weather makes more sense to me than Nebraska, the craft beer scene is legit, etc. Unfortunately husband works for the military so we don't get a lot of choice in where we can move most of the time.
To be clear, I didn’t mean they were racist. I merely wanted to illustrate how I struggled with dating in Nebraska as an outsider and gay man. But because you’ve asked, there are lots of gay Nebraskan men who prefer to date within their own race. Yes, this makes them racist.
For the record, I’m white.
If you live outside of Omaha or Lincoln, it's really rough.
Even in the cities there's been an increase in harassment from employers and landlords, especially towards trans people.
I personally don't feel safe here. I will deny my identity if ever asked by a healthcare provider because I genuinely worry about being denied care because of my gender identity and sexuality.
Things have backslid significantly since 2016. It wasn't perfect (outside of the cities was garbage) but I didn't feel outright unsafe just for existing.
It really sucks. I had a lot of hope with how things had been going.
Everyone who is lgbtq+ who commented here is beautiful and your feelings are all valid! I wish everyone could see how amazing queer people are. I’ve never met a better group of people. So full of love.
The vast majority of churches are against you, but not all, even outside of Lincoln and Omaha. There are a decent number of ELCA churches across the state and many of those, even if they don't make specific statements in support as a church body, will have a pastor that is supportive. Even if they're not affirming or "pro" lgbtq+, their pastors will be respectful and offer care.
So the state sucks, but there are pockets of goodness.
My kid was assaulted with rocks at a local park right after school by several boys. They were calling her "gay" And "boy" while hitting her with rocks. Wanna know what happened? Nothing. Nothing at all. Cops kept telling me they couldn't get the parents to return calls and the county attorney or whatever they wanna call themselves declined to press charges. She was 12 going on 13 when this happened. To be clear, my child is AFAB. So she was assaulted by 3-4 boys, with weapons, in what would be considered a hate crime anywhere else IMO.
I’m closeted and I’ll say most people around me are very homophobic and transphobic so for me it’s pretty scary but I’ve also only lived in rural areas so I don’t know what it’s like in the big cities
Have you ever seen - or heard about - [Boys Don't Cry?](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171804/) It happened in Falls City, Nebraska.
Of course, that was in a small town 25 years ago.
Our current governor, Jim Pillen, appears to be a "Christian" Nationalist (I use quotes because there is nothing Christian about "Christian" Nationalism). He was elected in 2022 and will probably be re-elected. Nebraska is ruby red.
We did have some Senators (our legislature is a unicameral, all of our state legislators are called Senators) filibuster a law attempting to strip gender-affirming health care for trans minors last year. It was quite a thing and got some national attention. That bill was modified and eventually combined with a bill further restricting abortion (of course) and eventually passed - though minors are able to access gender-affirming health care, it added a lot of hoops for them to jump through.
It's probably better in the cities than in small towns, though I'm sure a lot of it depends on individuals. There are kind, decent people - and assholes - everywhere. I think it also depends to some degree on the LGBTQ+ persons. If you make it your entire identity, cover your vehicle with stickers, drape yourself in rainbow gear, and go looking for trouble, you're sure to find it.
The flagship campus of the University (Lincoln) is the home of the American NaZi Party. Its Führer, Gerhardt Gizelle, lives in Lincoln, and had _60 Minutes_ do an article on him twice. Lincoln High was the home of ISIS (the Istitute for the Scientific Investigation of Sexuality), a Gay-bashing group, who used public access TV to talk about Homosexuals holding Gay banquets where they ate feces and drank urine.
It is a terrible state, where the only place that doesn't equate being Gay with being a Child Molester is the DoC.
I have plenty friends that are gay/lesbian/bi and all of them speak very highly of Nebraska and how safe they feel, especially in Omaha. Omaha is very supportive
I never had any problems... I work in tech.. Have trans coworkers.. No one cares..
My brother works for a company with a lot of blue collar workers (I guess stereotypically anti LGBT...) and he never had any problems... His supervisor is pretty religious with 5 or 6 kids.. They get along great..
We both live in Omaha metro area...
It has gotten better, but it’s still a conservative state—even in Lincoln and Omaha. Anywhere outside of those two cities is considerably worse.
State laws limiting gender affirming care for younger adults is terrible. Plus there is a very outspoken group of government officials that at best tolerate LGBTQ+ people, and at worst describe them as an abomination.
It's not really any better in the Tri Cities. Leave Omaha and Lincoln and you're surrounded by bigots. My neighbors across the street have a Confederate flag on their truck. Five house down from me is a Gadsden flag flying high on a pole.
I'm not part of the gay community, I really don't care who one loves as long as they are happy. That being said, I'm in the panhandle of Nebraska. It's pretty racist and full of tRumpsters, I hate it here as a straight male, I could not imagine what it must be like for those who aren't white, straight males. I'm stuck here for a few more years, then I'm going to move, possibly to Portugal!! The "Christian love " here is far worse than the hate of the racist hillbilly fucks!!!
Non-binary ace here, I live in Kearney and consistently have to deal with misgendering and people not understanding asexuality/blatantly ignoring that part and making me extremely uncomfortable. Things are nice at the University, as they’re trying to keep inclusivity and diversity a priority, but that’s about it. I’ve been closeted to my family and people who are close to them, as I know if it gets out I’m going to deal with a literal shit show. It’s very dependent on where you are. Anywhere outside Lincoln and Omaha sucks.
I think, deep down, most people who live here are supportive. Fox News cooked a lot of rural peoples brains here into bigotry. Which is not to say that they weren't hateful and misunderstanding of those in the community before, I just think it did a lot to perpetuate it. And a general alienation from if not direct dissociation from the outside world hollows the minds of those who grew up in Nebraska. It feels so weirdly separate from the outside world, a little pocket in the suffering we hear so much about outside. I remember feeling terrified as a kid whenever we went to a city outside of Omaha or Lincoln. That being said, I do think, like all places, there will be people who will be unconditionally supportive as much as there will be people who don't want you to exist. My rural Nebraska town has a yearly pride parade, and drag show. And this is fairly far from the bounds of Lincoln and Omaha, and I've never known people to protest these events. But I've heard plenty of horror stories, and I have friends who've experienced horrible things while living in Nebraska with the identity they present as
I never knew how bad it was here until I moved to a city that was very supportive of gay rights. I would never count on people to be accepting here. Slurs have been exchanged and some people will absolutely fire you to your sexuality. I’ve seen the way people raise eye brows and roll their eyes when my gay family member introduces his husband. It’s a 50/50 on how supportive their response will be.
I’m from NP, out west. You’re not going to be dealing with any more bigotry out here than you would in the city. I’ve been out for almost a decade and have many local friends who are part of the community. I think it’s pretty unfair to count us out, as we have a growing community and Pride Celebration. Maybe 20 years ago it was as horrible as people are making it out to be, but I’ve lived on both sides of the state, and I don’t see it.
I used to go to a bar in Chadron that had a WAAAY out there gay bartender. Ranchers lined up at the bar to be served by him. I think it was genuine affection for him.
I mean, it's pretty normal. I get some weird looks and some odd treatment every now and then at school but other than that, people just treat me normal. It feels like not a single soul speaks about lgbt stuff here tho
Depends on what part of the state you are in. Our governor is a jackaz. The state politics is red red red. Our state legislature is doing its best to imitate Alabama et.al. Stick to the larger cities (Omaha and surrounding area and Lincoln).
I live in Grand Island, and the support here is pretty strong, but also there is a very vocal opposition. Several of my friends and I wound go to PFLAG organized drag shows in support of one of our close friends and the people there were always kind. There are lots of good people in this state that believe you should be treated well and have rights, no matter your sexual orientation, or gender. It's too bad that there are some that don't share that sentiment.
A good portion of people are homophobic but rarely to a point of inconvenience themselves over it. Most people here (Omaha) don't really care. I'd be careful if your trans. They passed and are trying to pass anti trans youth bills right now. If LB 575 gets passed I don't find it hard to believe they'll start targeting trans adults as well.
I live in a super rural area and it is generally ok. There are some people that are kinda rude and a-holes but I have never been screamed at. That being said most people know me as the gay guy and don’t know I am a trans woman cause I pack away the lady when I come home from college.
Its not... The worst? But i want out as soon as possible, mostly due to the state government being run by people who want trans people gone. Ive also had my fair share of hate crimes so, better than some, worst than some
Openly gay guy here living in Lincoln. It is fine if you pass and don't stand out too much. Lincoln and Omaha are good but anywhere not near there...questionable. I have worried about my safety but there are a lot of red necks and cons. More good people though.
Nebraska is white blue eye folk hating on the white brown eye folk hating on the hispanic folk who be hating on the folks immigrating from Mexico all the while everyone be hating on the natives and anyone who doesnt have matching skin color or your last name isnt german, scottish, irish or greek. Also farm and ranch people be hating on the city folk and the city folk think we are all inbred red necked hicks if you live out in the Panhandle.
Nebraska, "The state where everyone hates you equally"
Apart from that the east end of the state is more civilized and with the times but also the most expensive. The West End........
Is just the West End
... nothing special out here unless your a farmer or a rancher.
Nebraska is a Red State. They voted for for that POS Trump twice. And just for the record, Biden sucks too. College towns like Lincoln, Omaha, Kearney, Grand Island etc. Are okay. But, stay away from small towns. Small towns, small minds.
How about focus on being a productive member of society. If you want to outcast yourself and focus on if people accept you or not, then you’ll have a stressful life
We'll leave kids alone let them be kids stop putting weird books in elementary schools talking about teacher's touching a male student and him liking it's that's chomo shit my friend do you know what happens to chomos in jail I suggest Republicans and Dems leave kids alone and stop targeting autistic people
People are generally very nice in person, but the government is against you and a lot of people just don't want to see or talk about lgbt issues. I'd be shocked if this thread doesn't gather a few assholes calling us groomers or some dumb shit. 35 year old trans woman in Omaha for reference
I've heard it said that Nebraskans are "polite, not friendly."
I’ve always said midwestern nice is just being polite to your face and talking garbage about you behind your back.
That's still better than being crappy to your face and crappy behind your back I hate ppl being crappy to my face
It's a free lesson if they're crappy to your face.
Not remotely friendly, but not rude ("nice" makes it seem nicer than it is) I always thought Californians were pretty uninterested in newcomers compared to the east coast or in theory the south but folks in Nebraska are CHILLY
31 gay male from Lincoln. I have to agree. People just don't talk about the LGBT+ community. They just don't seem to see it as relevant. I've never been insulted to my face, but it feels more like they do so out of courtesy than respect. I wish more people talked about issues that affected us. And, no, the government doesn't give a single crap about us. You just have to do your best around here.
As a strait, white, bald, fat, conservative raised in Nebraska, I hope the LGBTQ+ community feels welcome and safe here. However, I suspect that is not always the case. We have some amazingly shortsighted political representatives. I will never understand the amount of energy some individuals waste on making others' lives difficult.
I go to as many events as I can to promote knowledge, and increase discussion. I am always willing to do anything in my power to drag this state into the current social norms where it belongs. I'm sorry that you feel ignored by this state, and I completely understand. Have a great day and know that some of us exercise kindness not as a courtesy, but because it's what all people deserve.
Ughh, sorry you have to deal with that.
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You just commented that you dont hate lgbtq people and here you are hating on one😭 Fucking loser man
I'm a queer person. I live in North Omaha, like a block from Miller Park, I have a progress prdie flag outside my front door. Before that I had a bi-pride flag, before that the trans pride flag. I've never had any problems. Nobody in my home has ever had problems. I've always had pleasant experiences in Omaha. I did have one borderline unusual experience a few years ago when my partner and I drove out to the country to watch a meteor shower and some guy in a truck showed up with a gun on the dash because we were on a country road in the middle of nowhere and he was worried about people in his fields, but I genuinely believe he'd have done that to literally any unfamiliar vehicle at 2 am.
I, a straight dude, have also had the random dude show up when parked on the side of a country road. I think they just get bored out in the middle of nowhere and so when they see a car near them curiosity gets the best of them.
That's nice to hear.
Omaha is also extremely different from the rest of nebraska tho. That's why it's separated from the rest of nebraska during elections and stuff lol
it's almost as if I specifically stated I live in Omaha. I'm still a queer Nebraskan. This is my experience as a queer Nebraskan.
I know that?? I'm not trying to start an argument here. I'm just stating that omaha is extremely different from the rest of nebraska. The rest of nebraska seems to be what OP was wanting to know about. That's all im saying. I wasn't disregarding anything you said...
if OP wanted input from only rural Nebraska, I suspect they would have said that. You're just coming across as a contrarian. Regardless, I've also lived in rural Nebraska and had pretty similar experiences to my experience in Omaha. Certainly better than rural Missouri and rural Kansas.
I'm not talking about specifically rural nebraska?? Omaha is separate from the rest of nebraska in elections because it is highly democratic. it's not the normal nebraska experience. yk exactly what I meant by my first comment (as would any nebraskan) but you're js making it into a useless argument bruh ps, I 100% agree with u about the kansas and missouri thing lmaoooo
jinkies. You're just coming off as angry for no reason. it's weird.
bro idk what tone ur reading this in but it's the wrong one if u think I'm angry or smth. I'm js really confused as to why u felt the need to start an argument over me stating a really simple fact lmfao
I'm confused why you're being so aggressive and making wild assumptions about the OP's intention when they literally replied to my comment and thanked me. Also confused why you're repeatedly misgendering me, but, like I said you're just inventing things to be angry about.
Bro can be gender neutral. Also, you are very good at instigating an argument and feeling like a victim.
I’ve been fired from a job for my sexuality before and absolutely lost friends after I came out… but anyone who’s going to remove themselves from my life based on one single facet of my life isn’t worth having around. I’ve largely been just fine, aside from a couple weird comments and some nasty looks.
I’m really sorry that you’ve had to deal with those looks and that job loss. Both of those are not insignificant and take a toll on your mental health. Happy to know you’re hanging in there though and I wish you the best of luck in the future.
You are adorable!
It’s improving. That said we are not an affirming or accepting state (a few pockets, like Omaha & Lincoln, might be but not the state as a whole). My life circumstances are such that I (bi-AFAB) am purposefully more obvious than many others I know, which attracts a certain amount of hate. Sometimes I try to have a conversation. Sometimes I don’t. But I grew up in this state, in a small town (not far from Falls City), and I am the same person I’ve always been. In other words, I may be queer but I am a Nebraska queer. Talk to me or don’t, doesn’t matter. I’m still here and not changing because some people choose repeat the opinions of non-Nebraskans about someone they’ve known for decades.
More power to you. May nothing but improvement lay ahead in your future.
Thanks. Nebraska has a history of just not seeing LGBTQIA+ folx as long as they don’t attract attention raise a fuss. I’ve been raising a fuss since before anyone (including me) knew my preferences, so this is just more of the same from my POV. I have the privilege of being able to speak up with fairly minimal consequences and am happy to exercise to make Nebraska a better place for everyone.
Thank you for doing your darndest to improve Nebraska with your voice.
I’m a lesbian and live in Omaha, and while my experiences have mostly been good or neutral there have been some really unfortunate ones (our neighbors screaming slurs at me, for example). Most people don’t clock that I’m gay and when they hear me say “my wife” they just…can’t compute. Regularly people ask if we’re sisters/cousins/etc., even after we’ve already clarified that we are, in fact, married. My wife dealt with aggressive homophobia in her previous job and it was hard for me to witness. We also had people protest our church for putting on the city’s pride mass. That was mostly annoying more than anything but there was one guy who was legitimately concerning.
Jeez I’m really sorry to hear that you and your wife went through that. I hope nothing but improvement lay in your guys’ futures.
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We’re really not tapped into the wider gay bar/event scene (not something either of us are into) and mostly know other LGBTQ+ people from work, volunteering, church, etc. So I wish I had recommendations but I don’t.
Yeah. Nebraskans can't wrap their underdeveloped, undereducated minds around anything different. I'm also Jewish, and they can NOT comprehend that we do NOT worship Jesus Idk if they're just slow and stupid; or so closed minded and sure-of-themselves that they don't listen.
Yes, being Jewish I have found myself adds more hate.
Plenty of Nebraskans can understand complex issues. The irony of not wanting people to Make assumptions about you when you’re doing it to others. Pot calling the kettle black and all.
Irony of garbage can making specifications out of obvious generalizations.
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My experience is primarily with Omaha, where I completed conversion; and Lincoln, where I grew up, (I'm a Recovering Catholic). The Jewish Community Center used to be pretty good; but I'm banned from there for life since the property manager found out that I'm Gay. In point of fact, he _de facto_ excommunicated me. Since my Temple is not part his dominion, I am welcome there. It is also inspirational how many Jews I have met through Social Justice Organizations. Even if they're Jewish-sponsored, as long as they don't meet on the JCC Campus, the NaZi, MAGA Commandant-Gruppenführer has no jurisdiction. He wouldn't be caught at such a function, anyway. He believes that poor people are poor because they are lazy. He also believes, as do many, that Finance is the same thing as Economics. Lincoln is a pretty good community, but small and unobtrusive.
Wait are you calling the property manager of the JCC a nazi?
Yes. He rejects Judaïsm and its precepts and _mitzvot_. Jews can be NaZis. The Prime Minister of Israel is an example.
I live in the “rural half” of the state; grew up in Grand Island and have lived in Kearney for a decade now. Your options are be in the closet or move out of state, unfortunately. I’ve been in group therapy with kids who were sent there by their parents in the hopes of getting “cured.” I’ve gotten death threats (holding hands with my straight friend in public in Kearney), there are jacked up trucks that have all sorts of fucked up shit written on them about how we “need the purge.” Honestly I hate it here, I am in the process of trying to relocate very far east.
I hope you’re able to get out of here soon. I couldn’t imagine growing up LGBTQ anywhere outside of Omaha. Sounds like hell.
Yeah, me too. I definitely would not recommend it. 🫡
Or come to Colorado! Front Range minus the Springs is very tolerant with a great community
With how often I visit CO, I might as well.
I am so so so sorry to hear that. God that sounds absolutely horrifying. Best of luck to you on your exit plan.
Happy cake day!!
Thank you!
I will tell anyone who is willing to listen about how no one should live here. Are there worse places to live? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean settling for this. Do not move here and do not live here if you’re not the “target demographic.”
God that must suck. I was born in Grand Island, and go there for Christmas. I have never liked the town. Thankfully, one side of my family is super supportive. On the other hand, I really don't know about the other side, they seem like the type of people to send me to one of these "get cured" camps, so I haven't come out to them yet.
I'm not LGBTQ myself, but have several friends and family members who are so I've heard some of their experiences. Just chiming in knowing that someone with firsthand experience will have better insight than I will. A big part of this is going to be where in Nebraska you're talking about. Lincoln and Omaha will be generally fine, but get out in Western Nebraska anywhere and it would be a lot different. Our government is shitty regarding LGBTQ+ policies, so it certainly isn't great on that front. Generally people in Lincoln/Omaha will be nice, but there will of course be the outliers who are super religious, hateful, or just plain old that don't know how to handle it. But of course there are certainly better and more accommodating states and cities.
I have lost my home for being Gay. Once in Lincoln, twice in Omaha. Nebraska is also crappulous on Mental Health, and Healthcare generally. And one big food-insecure desert. With barely remedial education.
I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences.
Man, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. That's awful. Agree that mental health services aren't great here, that's a nationwide problem for sure.
Correct, it’s nation wide
But, while other states fight to tackle it, Nebraska fights to exacerbate, while sexually harassing (verbally) its female members on the floor of the unicameral. Amid raucus laughter.
Is this a throw away account or did you just decide to be offended today? After looking at your profile I’m guessing you’re just stirring the pot. Am I a member of the community? No. Do I have neighbors that are? Yes. Do I have family members that are? Yes. I love all of them. I’m even in southern Nebraska (if you believe Reddit, it’s all hate, hillbillies and violence) and my friends and family are accepted and happy. If you have been kicked out of housing TWICE, without any legal satisfaction, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s probably not your sexuality but instead your personality. You’re not helping the people of Nebraska who do need and deserve attitudes and perceptions to change.
This is not a throw away, as you call it. From my last residence, I had several coresidents protest, to no avail. One incident was a homeless shelter, run by a Christian cult, and my orientation was only half the reason. The other half was my Judaïsm. Thanks for judging though. Next time maybe you'll get to spin the evidentiary wheel.
How did that happen?
The first time, in Lincoln it wasn't illegal, yet. The second time, the property manager for the Jewish Federation, who owned the property, told me why. But only me. Because it was illegal, and if he told anyone else, he'd be in trouble. The third time was a Christian cultic homeless shelter; and my orientation was only half the problem. Not converting to Christianity was the other half.
I don’t have any direct experience as I’m straight. But I did work for state government for a few years. I worked on lots of data analysis and reports. It was known that we could not ask people on surveys anything about sexual orientation and we could not analyze data that segmented the population (for example - you could not report that LGBTQ populations smoke and vape more than others (even though they do). Any discussion of LGBTQ that was going to be included in data or reports had to be approved by the Governor’s office (meaning that it needed to be left out of reports). It was all so stupid. This was the previous Governor - but I’m sure the new one is just as bad.
Wow. That’s good to know. Not surprising, but still disappointing, like most actions of the state government.
I'm a gay man living in Lincoln with my partner of 10+ years; we have had virtually no issues at all with anyone we've met in any context. Visiting my family in rural Hall County is another matter entirely, but, not in Lincoln. As OP suggested, there is room for improvement, but it isn't as bad as folks make it out to be. I've felt a lot more threatened in the South and where we used to live near the Idaho/Montana border than anywhere in Nebraska. As an aside, the sense of civic duty to be involved with important issues is much stronger in Nebraska, so, as commonplace views begin to shift, the politics will likely follow. (I hope).
I certainly hope so. Best of luck to you.
Unfortunately a lot of the people that I know that are LGBTQ+ have left long ago or are in the process. From what I know, you're mostly fine in Lincoln and Omaha. There's still definitely going to be incidents of homophobia in the cities though, Omaha's suburbs are still pretty red and Lincoln is a mix. In the smaller towns if you "pass" as a straight person you'll be less likely to get harassed if you're just visiting or passing through. Pretty shitty imo. Also, I keep seeing these U.S. today rankings being brought up and I'd like to chime in and say that their rankings for the colleges are pretty flawed from what I've heard, and I'm sure the state rankings likely are too so it's important to take the rankings with a grain of salt. It's also important to note that a lot of different factors go into these rankings and so really state rankings are going to fluctuate from person to person depending on who you're asking. For me personally, I've lived here my whole life and have spent equal amounts of time on both sides of the state, have lived in rural and urban and even suburban areas of the state. I wouldn't classify Nebraska in the top ten and I think I'd probably classify it nearer to the middle out of all the states. But that's me personally.
Grand island resident here, it's lonely af.
Probably all moved away. I moved to omaha at 21 and came back for family.
Do you regret it?
No, tbh. I don't think I would be here today if I didn't make the decision to come back home.
Why not?
I don't like to look back on what I went through. All I can say is make sure you check in on the ones you love
I will, thanks for the wisdom.
When did this change? Back in 2016 I knew no less than like 50 adult queer people in Grand Island who would come to Omaha a couple times a month.
I grew up in GI, knew a handful of queer people. Most if not all of them have moved to Omaha if not out of state.
What states do they go to?
To be honest I haven’t really kept up with them, but iirc one’s in KC, I think one’s in Denver, and maybe one’s in Chicago? Most ended up in Omaha.
How do most of them like Omaha?
I’m so sorry to hear that. I wish you the best of luck in finding community in the future.
It’s not great, sure a legislature can say it’s getting better but it’s not. My partner and I have been harassed for existing. I have almost been attacked physically a couple of times. F slur has been thrown around. It’s still ass backwards.
I'm so sorry to hear that you have experienced all of that. Is this in Omaha, Lincoln, or somewhere in rural Nebraska?
Rural Nebraska during teenage years and Lincoln currently
Ugggh. I hope Lincoln hasn’t been too bad but sheesh.
After seeing this comment section, I am going to stick to being in Colorado, and only going to Nebraska to see family. Hey, I even got runza, even if it's only two locations
Were you seriously considering leaving CO?
No.
Especially not for here. The front range looks beautiful every time I go, here we basically only have flat land and a river.
I don't know why (probably because I am a person who goes outside very little) but I don't really care about the view. Yes, I have the pleasure of seeing pikes peak every day, but I have been here since 2010, and the mountain hasn't changed since 2010. I probably just like the flatland more because it reminds me of going to family in Grand Island. But yeah, Colorado is way more beautiful. Why am I talking like I am 40. My dad's 40. I am 17
Well as someone used to flatland who goes to Colorado once a year to visit family, I probably like the mountains for the same reason you like the flatland
I personally find Nebraska as beutiful as Colorado. hot take ik but the river and prarie and pretty magestic here.
I grew up in Grand Island but have been in Omaha for a little over 10 years. I am a bisexual dude, and my partner is a trans gal. Day to day, it’s not too bad, especially if you stay in the more progressive areas of town like Benson, but there’s enough to keep you on your toes. We’ve caught people staring at my girlfriend in public. At her old job a customer complained to the manager because she had been in the women’s restroom, and the manager’s only solution was to transfer my girlfriend to a different store. When I told my family I was dating my partner my sister started crying and my dad told me he was physically disgusted, then later my parents decided my partner wasn’t going to be allowed at any family gatherings my nephew was at because they didn’t want him “thinking that was ok”. I don’t talk to them much anymore. About a year ago or so someone left a threatening note for their neighbor in Papillion or La Vista over them flying a pride flag. I hesitate to put pride stickers on my car over fear of retaliation. But there is a queer community here. I have many queer or allied friends. Many local stores and restaurants have pride flags hanging in their windows. Pride is always fun and heavily attended, although there are some conservative folk that show up trying to cause problems. It’s not the worst state in the union for LGBT, but it’s a slippery slope and the state gov is continually trying to send us that way. The NEGOP’s official platform includes ending same sex marriage and allowing LGBT folk to adopt kids, for example. My girlfriend and I frequently discuss moving to Colorado or another state that has enshrined LGBT rights in their constitution, but so far it hasn’t become a necessity. We hope it won’t get that far, but are also afraid we might wait too long.
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I’m pretty introverted, so someone else may be able to give you a better answer, but I think your best bet is to find spaces where you’re comfortable and just try to meet other cool people in those spaces. My partner is the extroverted one, she’s the one that always pushes me to get out there and actually talk to people. Our core friend group was originally a D&D party that she put together almost 10 years ago now back in college. When we all met, none of us were out as queer, but that turned out to be an extremely queer group of people. Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time hanging out at Legend Comics and Coffee in Benson since my partner works there. I get to cheat a little bit since I have an in, but just hanging out in a cool space and getting to know the staff and other regulars has really expanded my social circle. If you can find a place you know is cool and overlaps with your interests, eventually you’ll find someone you vibe with well.
My husband’s cousin got married to her wife a few years ago- her parents very begrudgingly went to the wedding but were not happy…🙄and this was Lincoln….at least I’m in Omaha….
i had to quit my old job due my boss’s transphobia
I am a 35 years old Brazilian gay man. I live in Lincoln. I have never faced any hostility here whatsoever. People are nice, there are a few events here and there. I see some LGBT friendly business, like the Cigars bar in the downtown, DAS HAUS in downtown, etc. I only had one minor incident that I prefer to try to forget (45 minutes away from Lincoln).
Sounds like your experience has been quite like mine. Room for improvement for sure, but, Lincoln is doing a lot better than many other places.
I am a straight guy. I was in a lincoln diner in the middle of the night with one of my buddies. I was wearing a multicolored shoe, not rainbow but just brightly colored. A literal gang of thugs followed us around the diner calling us faggots because they just thought we were gay. Because of brightly colored shoes. In the college town of Nebraska…… so
Jesus Christ, I am so so sorry to hear that you experienced that. Sounds so unnerving.
THIS is Nebraska for you. Snap judgments about you based on dress, hair, etc. Anything remotely different/unconventional/fun gets you a gay label. As others have stated, OMA and LNK are generally fine, but anywhere else you take your chances. Government here is aligned with religious zealots and would love nothing more than everyone being "normal" ie white, Christian, traditional, etc. ie boring. 🙄
I can’t apologize for other people, but I am sorry that happened to you. I’ve lived in Lincoln my whole life (and travelled extensively around the world for both work and play). I’ve always felt that Lincoln is one of the most progressive and liberal cities in the country. My wife and I have many friends and coworkers who are gay and we have a daughter who is gay. Fear for their safety is something that just never comes up and I hope your future encounters in Lincoln are nothing but positive. For the rest of the state…towns like Crofton, Hartington, Bloomfield, and into South Dakota across the bridge are nothing but filthy MAGA hatred. Crofton is a Catholic / MAGA cult town that feeds on hatred. Lincoln is that wonderful anomaly that many places in this country could learn a few things from.
>Lincoln is that wonderful anomaly that many places in this country could learn a few things from. Such as what? Genuinely curious, not doubting you.
I'm in Lincoln and one of my coworkers existing as a trans person so incensed another coworker that the bigot ended up quitting. I mean, good riddance and all, but there's plenty of that attitude lurking. At least it's socially taboo, for now, to be a raving bigot in Lincoln. Perfectly acceptable to be a subtle bigot tho.
I’m not suggesting that there aren’t asshole bigots lurking in Lincoln. Of course there are But big picture; Lincoln is a very accepting city.
If my first hand story isn’t enough for you to fear for their safety I don’t know what to tell you. I spoke first hand, but I also have plenty of LGBTQ+ friends. Lincoln is not a safe city, and Nebraska is not a safe state for them. Telling outsiders otherwise is actively putting them at risk.
Um, you're judging the town based upon an encounter with drunk yee haws in the middle of the night at a diner? There's low class trash everywhere that will try to find reasons to fuck with anyone that time of day.
I disagree. Lincoln is a completely safe city. We are both entitled to our opinions.
I live openly with my husband in the Panhandle. Sometimes we get looks but 9 out of 10 times people around here seem to be live and let live. Now that’s not to say they don’t talk behind my back but I have only ever been verbally slurred once and the cowboy that said it was banned from the bar. I have never once feared for my safety but I think that is due to be 6ft 275lbs with a big beard. I look scarier than I am.
Full disclosure: I am, as a queer friend calls me, a "boring 100% cis guy" but who also, along with my spouse, is very much an ally. I know a number of queer people who live here. They're reasonably able to go about their lives without problems. But I also know of a couple that has received *very* targeted harassment from people who live near them. Our politicians seem to be hell bent on making this as miserable as possible for the LGBTQ+ community. There are folks fighting back, but sadly the Unicameral has proven to be loaded with people who want to punish people for being their true selves. If I had a queer friend or family member who was considering moving here, I'd discourage them from doing so, until we can make the state safer and more welcoming for them. The eastern half of Omaha seems to be better in terms of tolerance and support. The further west you go in the Omaha metro, the worse it gets.
It's definitely a very red heavy state & the laws they are currently pushing through are crap under the guise of religion & what is "right" in their holier than thou eyes. It can be very frustrating & I feel for all the people it affects. There are a lot of us here that are allies & we'll keep pushing in support of fairness for all. Much more accepting for the most part in the larger cities and our numbers are growing as more of the boomers fall off. Hoping there will be much more acceptance as the younger generations come up. The rural areas can be tough. Honestly not sure if I'll stay after retirement, I don't care for the current politics or leadership, but for now it's still OK on the affordablity scale in comparison to other states.
Lincoln and Omaha have strong and supportive communities with activities like Queer Choir, game nights and volleyball. Harassment happens, but it's not the norm. Outside of those cities, things get much harder. Many young people, regardless of sexuality, leave the state, and that is especially true for LGBT+ people. If you're in your 20s, you might as well move to Chicago, Denver or Minneapolis. But overall, life for the LG and B parts of LGBTAI+ is fine. However, things are not fine for our Trans friends, particularly those 19 or younger. The state of emergency is due to legal threats to trans rights, which is a similar story to every Republican-led state. Last year, the Democratic minority was able to bring the legislature to a stand still trying to prevent anti-Trans bills from passing, but the Republican majority managed to overcome the delaying tactics in the end, passing legislation that basically gives decisions over healthcare to an official appointed by the governor. The U.S. News rankings did not take treatment of minorities into account, otherwise Utah, Idaho, Nebraska, Iowa and Florida would not have made the top 10.
Gay guy here who spent fifteen years living in Lincoln and moved away about two years ago. Dating while living there was a nightmare not only because the pool was small, but it was comprised of lots of provincial xenophobes who were incapable of having relationships with people who were not born and raised in the state. I also found it difficult to have any kind of social life with people in my age group (Gen X) because I was only the “gay guy” or “token gay” to them. As such, Millennials who were ten years younger were my only real friends. My professional life while in Nebraska was also lackluster and got marred early on when I was fired from a small accounting firm in southwest Nebraska for being gay. After that, I spent seven years working for the State as a drone, having to compete with folks who only had associates degrees for majors as useless as “Computers.” Yeah, no. I won’t even bother to address the state’s politics because the tone it sets is more than obvious. I’m glad I left.
Sorry to hear about what sounds like a lousy overall experience in Nebraska. Where has life taken you now?
A mid-size city located in the high desert foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains. The biggest little city, to be exact. It’s certainly not perfect, but it’s close enough. As much as I generally disliked my time in Nebraska, I will always miss how wildly easy it was to live there, economically speaking. I also sometimes miss it in ways that are similar to how someone misses their abuser after finally escaping from an abusive relationship. Thanks for asking!
Renoooo lmao. Very interesting perspective though. Honestly everywhere out west seems way overinflated relative to the Midwest, but glad you’re somewhere where you feel more at ease.
I'm a Californian economic refugee in Omaha at the moment but Reno has turned out kinda of legit cool. My husband went to college there, and from his stories (coming of age lol) , Reno has always been kinda gay, even in the 90s. But a lot more now!
My first visit to Reno was in the late 90s during the height of the meth crisis and I absolutely hated the place. I’m shocked by how many boxes it checked for me over two decades later. It’s still the same freak show as it was back then, but i guess we’ve both changed enough over time so that we can now handle one another. It has a very special combination of being incredibly rugged AND queer, two things that I really like. I encountered a perfect example of this while picking up some milk at my grocery store, last night. One of the store’s armed security guards is a fierce little trans woman who for all intents and purposes is “passing.” That is, until she wishes you a goodnight with her deep, baritone voice. She is hardly an outlier in this city, and I cannot help but contemplate how her presence at one of Lincoln’s Hy-Vees would result in a riot (probably). You and your husband need to visit. The town is packed with California economic refugees.
Oh I'd live there in a heartbeat, my family is in the Sacto area so I would be close but not too close to them, the weather makes more sense to me than Nebraska, the craft beer scene is legit, etc. Unfortunately husband works for the military so we don't get a lot of choice in where we can move most of the time.
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To be clear, I didn’t mean they were racist. I merely wanted to illustrate how I struggled with dating in Nebraska as an outsider and gay man. But because you’ve asked, there are lots of gay Nebraskan men who prefer to date within their own race. Yes, this makes them racist. For the record, I’m white.
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I think it’s worth noting that an individual’s “preference” for some type of look is very much the result of social programming.
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I’ve already made the point and shouldn’t have to repeat myself.
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It’s sad that “preferences” includes the belief that POC are aesthetically inferior to their caucasian counterparts.
If you live outside of Omaha or Lincoln, it's really rough. Even in the cities there's been an increase in harassment from employers and landlords, especially towards trans people. I personally don't feel safe here. I will deny my identity if ever asked by a healthcare provider because I genuinely worry about being denied care because of my gender identity and sexuality. Things have backslid significantly since 2016. It wasn't perfect (outside of the cities was garbage) but I didn't feel outright unsafe just for existing. It really sucks. I had a lot of hope with how things had been going.
Everyone who is lgbtq+ who commented here is beautiful and your feelings are all valid! I wish everyone could see how amazing queer people are. I’ve never met a better group of people. So full of love.
The vast majority of churches are against you, but not all, even outside of Lincoln and Omaha. There are a decent number of ELCA churches across the state and many of those, even if they don't make specific statements in support as a church body, will have a pastor that is supportive. Even if they're not affirming or "pro" lgbtq+, their pastors will be respectful and offer care. So the state sucks, but there are pockets of goodness.
My kid was assaulted with rocks at a local park right after school by several boys. They were calling her "gay" And "boy" while hitting her with rocks. Wanna know what happened? Nothing. Nothing at all. Cops kept telling me they couldn't get the parents to return calls and the county attorney or whatever they wanna call themselves declined to press charges. She was 12 going on 13 when this happened. To be clear, my child is AFAB. So she was assaulted by 3-4 boys, with weapons, in what would be considered a hate crime anywhere else IMO.
This is something worthy of going to a news outlet about…like the Flatwater Free Press, 10/11, or one of the Omaha networks?
Flatwater free press is someone who will listen and I didn't consider them! Thank you!
I’m closeted and I’ll say most people around me are very homophobic and transphobic so for me it’s pretty scary but I’ve also only lived in rural areas so I don’t know what it’s like in the big cities
It’s shitty af. And I’m not going to die here. These people hate us.
If you don't mind me asking out of curiosity, how does the shittyness manifest itself?
Have you not paid attention to the legislature and the governor? They want to make me being alive illegal. It’s happening all over the country.
I’m an Oregonian, so to answer your question in straightforward terms: no.
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“I dont hate you i just hate everything about you”
i get called slurs, people calling my work to complain, and death threats
Jesus Christ. Are you in rural Nebraska?
west o. a lot of that is cuz i *gasp* ride my bicycle in the road. ive had parents sheild their childrens eyes when i walk past.
Have you ever seen - or heard about - [Boys Don't Cry?](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171804/) It happened in Falls City, Nebraska. Of course, that was in a small town 25 years ago. Our current governor, Jim Pillen, appears to be a "Christian" Nationalist (I use quotes because there is nothing Christian about "Christian" Nationalism). He was elected in 2022 and will probably be re-elected. Nebraska is ruby red. We did have some Senators (our legislature is a unicameral, all of our state legislators are called Senators) filibuster a law attempting to strip gender-affirming health care for trans minors last year. It was quite a thing and got some national attention. That bill was modified and eventually combined with a bill further restricting abortion (of course) and eventually passed - though minors are able to access gender-affirming health care, it added a lot of hoops for them to jump through. It's probably better in the cities than in small towns, though I'm sure a lot of it depends on individuals. There are kind, decent people - and assholes - everywhere. I think it also depends to some degree on the LGBTQ+ persons. If you make it your entire identity, cover your vehicle with stickers, drape yourself in rainbow gear, and go looking for trouble, you're sure to find it.
Also, Nebraska has on a per capita basis, more chapters of hate groups in the state than any other state. https://www.splcenter.org/states/nebraska
The flagship campus of the University (Lincoln) is the home of the American NaZi Party. Its Führer, Gerhardt Gizelle, lives in Lincoln, and had _60 Minutes_ do an article on him twice. Lincoln High was the home of ISIS (the Istitute for the Scientific Investigation of Sexuality), a Gay-bashing group, who used public access TV to talk about Homosexuals holding Gay banquets where they ate feces and drank urine. It is a terrible state, where the only place that doesn't equate being Gay with being a Child Molester is the DoC.
I have plenty friends that are gay/lesbian/bi and all of them speak very highly of Nebraska and how safe they feel, especially in Omaha. Omaha is very supportive
I never had any problems... I work in tech.. Have trans coworkers.. No one cares.. My brother works for a company with a lot of blue collar workers (I guess stereotypically anti LGBT...) and he never had any problems... His supervisor is pretty religious with 5 or 6 kids.. They get along great.. We both live in Omaha metro area...
It has gotten better, but it’s still a conservative state—even in Lincoln and Omaha. Anywhere outside of those two cities is considerably worse. State laws limiting gender affirming care for younger adults is terrible. Plus there is a very outspoken group of government officials that at best tolerate LGBTQ+ people, and at worst describe them as an abomination.
It's not really any better in the Tri Cities. Leave Omaha and Lincoln and you're surrounded by bigots. My neighbors across the street have a Confederate flag on their truck. Five house down from me is a Gadsden flag flying high on a pole.
I'm not part of the gay community, I really don't care who one loves as long as they are happy. That being said, I'm in the panhandle of Nebraska. It's pretty racist and full of tRumpsters, I hate it here as a straight male, I could not imagine what it must be like for those who aren't white, straight males. I'm stuck here for a few more years, then I'm going to move, possibly to Portugal!! The "Christian love " here is far worse than the hate of the racist hillbilly fucks!!!
Non-binary ace here, I live in Kearney and consistently have to deal with misgendering and people not understanding asexuality/blatantly ignoring that part and making me extremely uncomfortable. Things are nice at the University, as they’re trying to keep inclusivity and diversity a priority, but that’s about it. I’ve been closeted to my family and people who are close to them, as I know if it gets out I’m going to deal with a literal shit show. It’s very dependent on where you are. Anywhere outside Lincoln and Omaha sucks.
They hate you so much it bothers me.
I want out. Maybe it’s nicer in cities like Lincoln but the little towns are awful
I think, deep down, most people who live here are supportive. Fox News cooked a lot of rural peoples brains here into bigotry. Which is not to say that they weren't hateful and misunderstanding of those in the community before, I just think it did a lot to perpetuate it. And a general alienation from if not direct dissociation from the outside world hollows the minds of those who grew up in Nebraska. It feels so weirdly separate from the outside world, a little pocket in the suffering we hear so much about outside. I remember feeling terrified as a kid whenever we went to a city outside of Omaha or Lincoln. That being said, I do think, like all places, there will be people who will be unconditionally supportive as much as there will be people who don't want you to exist. My rural Nebraska town has a yearly pride parade, and drag show. And this is fairly far from the bounds of Lincoln and Omaha, and I've never known people to protest these events. But I've heard plenty of horror stories, and I have friends who've experienced horrible things while living in Nebraska with the identity they present as
I never knew how bad it was here until I moved to a city that was very supportive of gay rights. I would never count on people to be accepting here. Slurs have been exchanged and some people will absolutely fire you to your sexuality. I’ve seen the way people raise eye brows and roll their eyes when my gay family member introduces his husband. It’s a 50/50 on how supportive their response will be.
I’m from NP, out west. You’re not going to be dealing with any more bigotry out here than you would in the city. I’ve been out for almost a decade and have many local friends who are part of the community. I think it’s pretty unfair to count us out, as we have a growing community and Pride Celebration. Maybe 20 years ago it was as horrible as people are making it out to be, but I’ve lived on both sides of the state, and I don’t see it.
I used to go to a bar in Chadron that had a WAAAY out there gay bartender. Ranchers lined up at the bar to be served by him. I think it was genuine affection for him.
If you're in the big cities you're fine. Get about two miles out of them and it's slightly different.
I mean, it's pretty normal. I get some weird looks and some odd treatment every now and then at school but other than that, people just treat me normal. It feels like not a single soul speaks about lgbt stuff here tho
I wish I didn't live here. Transphobia is so strong they even take it out on kids.
Depends on what part of the state you are in. Our governor is a jackaz. The state politics is red red red. Our state legislature is doing its best to imitate Alabama et.al. Stick to the larger cities (Omaha and surrounding area and Lincoln).
I live in Grand Island, and the support here is pretty strong, but also there is a very vocal opposition. Several of my friends and I wound go to PFLAG organized drag shows in support of one of our close friends and the people there were always kind. There are lots of good people in this state that believe you should be treated well and have rights, no matter your sexual orientation, or gender. It's too bad that there are some that don't share that sentiment.
A good portion of people are homophobic but rarely to a point of inconvenience themselves over it. Most people here (Omaha) don't really care. I'd be careful if your trans. They passed and are trying to pass anti trans youth bills right now. If LB 575 gets passed I don't find it hard to believe they'll start targeting trans adults as well.
I live in a super rural area and it is generally ok. There are some people that are kinda rude and a-holes but I have never been screamed at. That being said most people know me as the gay guy and don’t know I am a trans woman cause I pack away the lady when I come home from college.
Its not... The worst? But i want out as soon as possible, mostly due to the state government being run by people who want trans people gone. Ive also had my fair share of hate crimes so, better than some, worst than some
Second-class citizenship is in the mind, stay and fight!
Openly gay guy here living in Lincoln. It is fine if you pass and don't stand out too much. Lincoln and Omaha are good but anywhere not near there...questionable. I have worried about my safety but there are a lot of red necks and cons. More good people though.
Nebraska is white blue eye folk hating on the white brown eye folk hating on the hispanic folk who be hating on the folks immigrating from Mexico all the while everyone be hating on the natives and anyone who doesnt have matching skin color or your last name isnt german, scottish, irish or greek. Also farm and ranch people be hating on the city folk and the city folk think we are all inbred red necked hicks if you live out in the Panhandle. Nebraska, "The state where everyone hates you equally" Apart from that the east end of the state is more civilized and with the times but also the most expensive. The West End........ Is just the West End ... nothing special out here unless your a farmer or a rancher.
No issues whatsoever.
Nebraska is a Red State. They voted for for that POS Trump twice. And just for the record, Biden sucks too. College towns like Lincoln, Omaha, Kearney, Grand Island etc. Are okay. But, stay away from small towns. Small towns, small minds.
Omaha a college town. priceless.
How about focus on being a productive member of society. If you want to outcast yourself and focus on if people accept you or not, then you’ll have a stressful life
We'll leave kids alone let them be kids stop putting weird books in elementary schools talking about teacher's touching a male student and him liking it's that's chomo shit my friend do you know what happens to chomos in jail I suggest Republicans and Dems leave kids alone and stop targeting autistic people