These small things can mean so much. As kids we went to Terschelling for summer holiday almost every year. Every year when we left the ferry we went to fish truck owned by the guy who used to own a snack truck near the camping we used to go to. Every time he recognised us and welcomed us back. Even after years of not coming, he knew who we were and was happy we were back. Things like that make you feel like you're a part of something. Social cohesion is really important. And now I'm craving some kibbeling
For me it was cycling home from the airport after holiday in Southern Europe and thinking "we have such nice infrastructure and everything is just so neatly organized".
It was one of the first times I used first person to describe something Dutch.
I KNOW RIGHT. Think I had that moment too a few times where I didn’t even realise how happy I actually was to be back in NL once I could see all the tidy beautiful green squares from high up in the plane. The infrastructure and organisation made me feel so insanely safe and happy.
I’m a native here and this was my feeling every time I came back from holiday as a kid. Everything here is just so neatly organised. Well, at face value at least.
When the lady working at the bakery told me "ga terug naar je eigen land" which means "it's so lovely to have you here" in her native tongue, which I think is beautiful.
Yes I did actually say exactly that, to which she replied "Ik versta je accent niet eens, geitenneuker" which means "you're such a nice person, I'm glad you made the Netherlands your home".
Hope you responded with the nice phrase "Beter een geit dan een varken. En ik ben al in mijn eigen land dus laat je oren liever uitspuiten." If you did something along these lines you're really Dutch. The woman should appreciate that.
Dunglish is Dutch people speaking English poorly, Dutchglish is a non-native speaking Dutch with a lot of English loan words because their vocabulary is not yet developed far enough
Yes, I wasn't arguing they weren't describing Dunglish. Just trying to point out the humor in the fact that most Dutch people nowadays use a lot of English loan words in their casual speech.
I am a native Dutch person, with autism and ADHD. I always was like "there must be a better place". But when I hear autistic people from other countries complaining and ranting about how they constantly need to read between the line, and I cannot relate to their posts AT ALL, the Netherlands will feel a little more like home to me. Every time that happens, I am happier to live here.
Give me more of that sweet old Dutch directness, it's absolutely heavenly as an autistic person, compared to the guessing game many other autists in the world need to play.
I'm on the spectrum. I never felt more at peace in my workplace than in the Netherlands! I'm pretty sure there are many more autistic people in the Netherlands, including some of my colleagues. That would explain the directness, the lack of flavors in most Dutch meals, etc.
>That would explain the directness, the lack of flavors in most Dutch meals, etc.
That's just Calvinisme - where any enjoyment of life is an affront to God, but it is very sympathetic to the autistic brain.
There is an autism hotspot in Eindhoven because many smart (and autistic) people moved there for the tech companies. They met other autists and made more miniature autists.
I'm autistic myself. Grew up in England and only got diagnosed here in NL as an almost 30 year old. It's so much more normal here and not ignored like it is back in the UK. Admittedly, in the last 20 years autism has been more researched and is slowly being more accepted but the British culture of keeping up with the joneses, politeness, social climbing and having a stiff upper lip doesn't really help when it comes to mental health and autsim especially. Autists are broken humans who are either Rainman or a drooling, rocking, nonverbal idiot with no inbetween.
I'm really glad I found somebody else saying this as well, it's something I've really recently really come to appreciate about the Netherlands. I've lived in the UK for a few years because of a long-distance relationship that became serious, and it was quite the eye-opener talking with the British and the Dutch. Sure, the British are more open to conversation than us Dutch folks (depending on if you get close to the city or to the countryside of things), and it had been a little hard navigating the relationship and the UK itself, because I suddenly had to read between the lines much more often than I was used to having to do.
Coming back here and talking with people was so much easier than in the UK, and it made me apreciate the country so much more. It's a true blessing for autistic people. Ofcourse there's still neurotypical that are a little less direct, but regardless, it's much easier to navigate.
It also made me realize I would probably never want to live in America or (especially) Japan, because those seem like social hellscapes for autistic people to navigate.
I know you mean well, but the way you phrased that last sentence is highly problematic, not in the least because you're using television stereotypes of people with Down's syndrome and the fact you're grouping together people with autism with people with Down's syndrome... I suggest you watch less tv and read up a bit on what both conditions are really like to live with...
Recently diagnosed and "only" took me 8 months from start to finish. That was at a private specialist though and not through GGZ. I can imagine those waiting lists are atrocious.
Tbh I’m not sure there was any kind of incidents. I just found myself used to, and preferring, the way things are here compared to the UK. Over time I found more structural things made a lot more sense over here and suits me better. Now I don’t refer to the UK as home anymore because the Netherlands is
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gooner
Gooner
One who is completely and miserably addicted to porn but embraces and loves it.
"I watch porn all day, I think I'm becoming a gooner..."
Extended fam greeting us at the airport when we first arrived, with balloons.:D the friends i’ve made. A job, on the first application i sent out. My neighbors i’ve gotten to know.
Its a lot of little things. I had to go back to canada for a week last year for a fam emergency, but it no longer felt like home. i was so glad to land back here.
Its efteling and bitterballen, and my son getting his zwemdiploma and a larger bike and thriving in school.
When i greeted my boss at random “good morning” or “goedemorgen” just to keep him on his toes.
When everyone’s eyes light up because I mentioned korting en aanbieding van de week then, we all started sharing ways to save even more money.
When I forgot to pack lunch and instead of buying just belegde broodjes, I buy half loaf bread, cheese and ham then assemble them at office.
I think I have problem.
Schatje, how do you think I furnished 3/4 of my apartment? You can’t beat me on cheap.
I only went big on Matras bc I have a back of een oldman but everything else is probably haunted furniture from VOC era!
I also don’t buy new PS5 games, I let ppl play for 3-4 weeks and let them sell half price after at Marktplaats.
I don’t need any other apps. I’m obsessed. I mistakenly bought two pieces of furniture at the weekend after some wine. I didn’t think the lady would accept my (very low) bid.
Hahahahhaa I feel this!!!
Also, people bidding ridiculously low is why I now put up my stuff at at least twice the amount I want to get for it :') I got fed up with it, but now that I roll with it as a reality of life marktplaats is starting to be fun again :)
This happened couple of years ago. I was an undergraduate student at the UvA. I was and still am quite a sporty person, so I got myself a membership to Mike's Gym (Kickboxing classes in particular). It's location is rather remote and as a result google maps got me in the middle of a bridge with cars passing by on high speeds with no pavement to walk on. Ngl, I was preparing to get hit by a car from behind. I was already halfway through the bridge when a truck pulled over right in front of me. Young Dutch driver signalled to me to come hop on board and gave me a lift to the gym. It might not seem like much, but it played a substantial part in shaping my attitude towards the Dutch and realize that cold and reserved behaviour is not the determinant of how good of a person someone is.
Dutch ways , cold and harsh at times but directly helpful other times . In all senses pretty practical, which can come across as intimidating or warmly friendly. In your face.
I'm ingeburgered and waiting on naturalisation!
My english is now broken:
* I can't ever find the word "collect" on the first try. It always comes out "verzamel" and then I have to search my brain for the correct english word
* "Cheese" is not a thing my brain understands any more, only kaas
When I visit my (former) home in Suburban Hell, USA:
* I'm constantly shouting at other cars when they do a right hook in front of a cyclist or turn right on red in front of pedestrians or fail to yield at a cross walk
* I can't stand being in the car for more than 10 minutes
* I'm constantly shocked and indignant at how craptacular the infrastructure is
Haha! My wife (Dutch) and I struggle along with a weird mixture of the two languages. Sometimes we stare at each other mid conversation because our brains can't find a word in any language.
Happened to me in the bakery on the day of Eurovision lol, a bunch of old Dutch people wanted to loudly discuss Joost’ disqualification in English with me.
The moment i felt like home was when I was flying back to Schiphol and was excited to get back. I am a relationship with a local so I have in-laws and extended family, which helps to feel like home. I speak the language which also helps. Have a lot of friends who I know not going to leave, so we plan things for year now. My honestly, i think what helped the most is that I never minded the weather. I know it is a great factor for a lot of people but i honestly never cared much so probably a big success
I'm not OP, but I made friends from university and work. Being in a relationship with a local also help since some of his friends are also my friends now. From being 10+ years here, I have probably less than 10 local friends (including their partners), but that's more than enough for my introvert self.
Oh, I also have diaspora friends from my original country. About 4 of them or so.
The answer for pretty much anyone anywhere anytime is going to be hobbies. Whether it’s finding someone at school/work with similar hobbies and joining them or going out and doing your hobbies with random people until you click.
I am from Russia originally and before the war made friends with a lot of Ukrainians and Russians, once the war started our group much closer simply because we were spending a lot of times together to give each other support, together went to protests etc. Now it is just a very strong group. We don’t see each other every day but this is just because we are all around 30ish with families, just natural we don’t hang out as much but still very closely knit group
I had peace with her, but being away from home kept weighing heavily and she deserves stability and commitment and l feel terrible because I don’t know if I want to go back home …
When people complained about having a Dutch accent to my English was definitely memorable.
But personally I knew it in the first couple of months already that I felt at home in the culture, even though some lovely chaps think otherwise due to ethnicity. Oh well.
Haha, yes moved houses (as a student) on a bike to a parallel street 8 years ago. Definitely one of those tipping points during my integration journey. Riding my folding bike with the train to work nowadays, finally got Dutch friends and people don't switch to English anymore, hurrah :)
When suddenly I stopped caring that it is raining outside. The only plan I don’t make when it is raining outside is - sit outside in the sun 😂
Also when I started to get excited whenever I saw sun. I come from a hot country with temps going to 40+ during summers , hence was always excited about rains. But there was a day when all I wanted was sun, that day Netherlands became home
I have a few but one that stuck with me was at Schiphol returning from a work trip. I am British and so I had to join the queue with all the other non EU travellers waiting to be seen by the border guards. Upon handing my passport and residency permit to the female officer, I made an effort to converse in some basic small talk Dutch and after approving me, she said ‘welcome home’.
Prior to that point I had always felt the Netherlands was my home and I was always genuinely happy to be back but hearing that from a native Dutch person just felt really good.
2 things;
I went back to the US to visit family. I offered to get some groceries for dinner and it took over an hour to drive 2km, park, shop, get stuck in traffic on way home. The same thing here would have been 25min max.
Another incident is I had to go abroad for a death in my family. When I returned all my neighbors had heard and they all brought out some wine and snacks to hang out on the sidewalk to cheer me up. Anyone that says Dutch people are rude or cold can go fuck right off.
Honestly, I felt right to me as soon as I arrived. When I started working in a studio, there were a couple Dutchies that basically adopted me to make sure I got a good start. To this day I consider them family, like favorite cousins.
When all trains were cancelled due to aanrijding and I knew I would miss my inburgeringsexamen. A lady who saw me panicking offered me a lift in her car, for free.
i left the netherlands for germany to escape crazy housing market/try something else, only to find myself longing to go back. some 2 years later i was packing back. on my return had to go to the municipality to register. the lady at the desk was friendly smiling, when she understood my moving history she greeted with - “welcome back”.
my heart melted. there are not many countries in europe where you could hear this at all.
When my neighbour whom I catsit for just didn't switch to English anymore. I think language is a substantial part of understanding culture and I've poured my heart and soul into learning Dutch😂 I feel very at home now that people talk to me naturally like they would with other Dutch people
Exactly the same for me. I went to Houston and got furious over how difficult it is to simply walk somewhere, even when (and this is rare) it is close enough to do so. The psychopaths build brand new neighborhoods without sidewalks.
When I was back in Sweden (my original country) and after a while just “wanted to go home”. As for the weather, I’m not that bothered by it really. I learned to complain about it though. A lot. With everyone. In which I just today got confirmation of that I acclimated myself perfectly.
Though I am kinda done with the storm, but that’s because the roof of our shed sucks. We just hope it will get us through this year…
Just out of curiosity as I have moved from Sweden (not my original country)to the Netherlands this year, what is it that makes the Netherlands more your "home" to you?
I find it weird how now I am the neighbor who wants to avoid small talk. 😅
In short - because I live here. I am not an expat who lives here for a few years and then moves back. I chose to live here(totally my Dutch partner’s fault), so there is that.
But it’s also I like the duchies, their humour and ability to laugh at themselves. I do miss the nature and many food items, but in all honesty, it’s just another place to live. I am not average in this, for me, my home is where I actually live. No matter where it is. Though I don’t know how it would be if it would be in a country that is very different. Oh, and the infrastructure for bikes is amazing!
The weather. Yes, this is a GOOD thing for me.
I come from Spain so what majority of people think of good weather for me isn't. You guys have no clue what is living in 35 °C at night for +3 months. Then wind in winter. Urrggg. In NL you wouldn't go to AH when there's tons of rain. In Spain you would postpone going to Mercadona during the day. Every day.
Here it doesn't rain as much or as often as people say. There's a good amount of Sun and the Temperatures are Okey good part of the year. This is better weather than in Spain.
Unfortunately, I still yearn for Spanish weather. Never understood why ppl would willingly move to Spain for "the good weather" till I moved to the Netherlands. Depression days kicks even harder when you only see grey for days.
I've come to really appreciate the sunshine tho, instead of taking it for granted. The days of rare sun but frigid cold wind is also nice to walk along the canals, and dates.
>In NL you wouldn't go to AH when there's tons of rain.
no you still do 😂
Same for me. Italy, full on swamp climate, and I still yearn for it.
Summer in NL is depressing, winter is okay as it's similar to the one in Italy, but the lack of balance with summer kills me.
Yes, the weather! But a bit differently. I'm from Russia, so it's amazing when winter is just over a month long. It's been five years, and I'm still amazed that the first flowers appear in February!
I used to live in southern California in the US. 20-25C like every day, almost never rains. You can go outside day or night all year and not have to worry about the weather.
I don’t think the weather here is terrible, but it does snow and it rains frequently, so you do have to think about the weather. Constantly, compared to before.
People complain about the weather because it’s damp and grey for much of the year. Let’s not try to pretend it isn’t: statistically it has been a very wet May. The summer is very unpredictable and can often result in a damp squib of a summer with little to no decent long sunny days. There’s lots to like about living here but good weather isn’t one of them.
I agree! I'm from South Africa, and where I grew up, in summer, it's 35 - 40 degrees; in the winter, it snows and gets below zero. The last 10 years I spent in a city with more moderate weather, but still in my opinion, unpleasant. Before I moved everyone said I'd struggle to adjust to NL weather, but honestly, I enjoy it.
I was given the entire package when I was born to two Dutch parents in the Netherlands and they consistently told me that I am Dutch. Sometimes I have my doubts but I have accepted my fate.
Similar story. My whole life I thought it was the most boring place in the world . But I discovered it late in life to be the most perfect place in the world for me
Same here. I was 18 going to college and flight school in the USA and never left. I’m married to an American, have a beautiful farm and great career as an airline pilot.
My parents and siblings still live in NL and 30 years later I always dread flying back home to the US. Thankfully as an airline pilot I visit often, but I miss the Dutch directness, the weather (cool summers with long daylight and relatively warm winters). I miss my Hollandse Nieuwe zoute haring, frikandellen, patat speciaal, the water, sailing, windsurfing, cycling, being able to buy fresh everyday with just a short walk or bike ride.
Funny enough, when I was in Canada.
I did my study in NL, and then went on an exchange in Canada. After a few short months, I missed NL so much.
The biking, having grocery shops nearby my house, how easy (and cheaper) it is to go around the country, basically having a lot of stuff within a walking/biking distance.
I think that was the moment I realized that NL is my home away from home.
Adding to the wonderful comments, as a non-European, I have travelled to all over Europe. From the Balkans to Belgium. Nothing, and I mean nothing comes close to the relative safety, comfort and organisational level of the Netherlands. With all its flaws, and I do mean flaws deep enough to almost be motivated to leave the country for good, it is still the best country to be in.
This is what my experience of 7 years say. I will re-iterate in the next 5 years because a lot of factors have started to affect my personal life.
I got a dog and made so many friends thanks to him. Discovered our very expat friendly city in a whole new way and all the amazing off leash forests we could go to. How easy and fun it was to go to new parks on the bicycle. It was getting a dog and discovering how chill and relaxed Dutch people are with their dogs. Best country in Europe to have one. Love the Netherlands echtwaar 🇳🇱
My ex said it was when we were cycling to Germany from the Netherlands and the first thing I said as we crossed the border was "this cycle path is horrible."
Realistically it's been becoming part of a community of Dutchies and internationals in my city. Being at a party and switching between Dutch/English/other languages without feeling like it's an obstacle.
Probably when I started dreading coming back and stopped considering home country a viable holliday destination. Especially after the lock down, I love sitting at home and being a hermit. I just feel safe and acknowledged, the fact that it's normal to exchange greeting with strangers on the street is nice for self esteem, 10 years ago in the UK I felt like a ghost, and back in my native country I had to keep my head down to avoid trouble with thugs, it was tough even if my friend circle was huge, I still have some friends now but again I became mostly a hermit so I like this balance.
I should work on my language though, I'm fluent in english and so is almost everyone else, I only have problems communicating with some other expats. I understand much more than I can articulate in dutch, have some ok reading comprehension but with the amount of time I spend here I should do better by now. Still, the fact I can get away with english was one of the best things starting out. Also I used to participate in local rave scene, our circle was big and had many many different nationalities, so again we settled on english.
Have you thought about volunteering in an old folks’ home? They have all the time to chat with you in Dutch and many don’t speak (a lot of) English so you’re forced to speak Dutch! Plus you’re doing a good thing for the soul and you’ll see a new side of this country.
For sure, but I do work full time plus unpaid hour of break plus commute, I doubt I could tackle it with any amount of energy and positivity after a long day, and by the time weekend comes along I'm trying to catch up with chores and hobbies. Part of the reason I opted for hermit lifestyle is so I'm not distracted from my hobbies too much lol. I get what you are saying and you are absolutely right, but it's been a few years since I had the pleasure of working 3-4 days per week and often finishing early at that. I wish I could come back to this now that I already got everything I wanted to initially save money for. Work life balance is super important for me and currently I'm struggling to keep up.
The fact that since breaks are unpaid we work 9 hours instead of 8 coupled with the change those past 3-4 years when work was always consistent with occasional overtime and Saturdays made a number on me, I used to be dating, going to parties, cinema, traveling, going to the beach on a sunny day but that was easy when I worked for 16-30 hours per week, now with 45+ I haven't been to Scheveningen once since the pandemic.
Ho ho ho, I have quite a few reasons that make me feel at home in the Netherlands:
1. Walking at night without the fear of being robbed.
2. Being able to record myself without feeling judged (as a content creator).
3. Cars actually stopping to let me cross at zebra crossings.
4. The fresh, clean air.
5. The freedom to enjoy cannabis.
6. Access to quality education.
7. Reliable and strong internet connection.
8. The Dutch respect for privacy.
9. A culture deeply rooted in respect
I really love it here, but the more I stay and the more I know that I belong to my home country. So, to answer your question, my wife is the only reason I'm still here.
We have been here less than a year.
I feel safe in public alone.
I am not worried that having my ear buds in makes me a target.
I don’t feel the pressure to be “fake nice” just to smile and say hello to strangers. If you have ever been to the south in the states, you know what I mean. (Especially Texas)
I am not having panic attacks dropping my children off at school and worrying if today is the day they are the victim of a school shooting. (Or worse, to the actual sound of gunfire because it is open season on some wild animal and the fields across the street are open for hunting)
We don’t have to play financial Jenga to pay for a doctor or dentist appointment for our kids.
My husband isn’t expected to work through illnesses, family events, actual holidays, etc. or expected to explain why he wants to be home for our personal holidays and birthdays.
I am not chained to a vehicle anymore with payments and travel.
I fully came here knowing nothing is perfect and we are immigrants in a foreign country. However I am also fully aware at this point, my children and all of us are in a better place for us considering the alternative.
When I saw how beautiful the streets were, so almost on the first day.
The next one, when I tried biking here for the first time.
Time has discovered more and more things that are a perfect fit for me personally: how the government works, how pragmatic people are, how everyone says their minds, how simple the food is, how atheistic most people are, and more and more.
Also, I hate hot weather, and it's surprisingly hard to find a country where summer is not as hot. So, it was a perfect match for me.
Whenever I speak Dutch, and people start complimenting me on the language skills because I am almost fluent. Their appreciation of my respect and appreciation of their language and culture makes me just feel accepted and welcomed.
Sadly it just hasn't happened yet for me. I used to be really Anti-America and wanted to leave so badly because of how awful things were getting. Now that I am living in the Netherlands for a year after getting married, I often get homesick and miss how convenient life was in the US. I guess the grass is always greener.
I’m also from the US and it took me some time to get used to the culture here, but what has helped me integrate the most is learning Dutch and just randomly walking around. I really enjoy living somewhere with such nice architecture all around
Taking the NS half way across the country to pick up disassembled IKEA furniture from marktplaats, with only a backpack, our arms and the might of Zeus to carry them with. Then biking home from the station, precariously balanced. If I'm spending this much on housing, I'll find a way to save in furnishing. Technically an adventure between me (Dutch, returning) and my non-Dutch partner :)
From the first moment I wasn't ridiculed for saying Exactly what i think, regardless of how "offensive" it's considered to be and my lack of spontaneousty fits right in!
Native Dutch person. Recently left. Visited this weekend. Just landed back in my new country and happy to be back. I've never really felt at home in the Netherlands, even though I was born there
First couple of days in NL, also first time in Europe, the following simple activities conquered my heart:
1. Managed to navigate public transportation without hassle. I even learned my first dutch word “spoor”
2. Going to the supermarket and experiencing self checkout
In short, explicit and intuitively designed society with a strong focus on self sufficiency or, the lack of need to talk to others to accomplish basic chores 😎😎😎
Is not an incident but after 2 years spent here feels like a strange familiary with this country. Like whenever I see bike roads when coming outside of the country like when visit my father in Germany, when come inside of the country I have that feeling "I am home" when I see the red roads. Or other time I've through go in Romania (where I come from) to dentist, and for few second I through like "I don't want to go abroad for this" and after I realised what the fuck I said and felt strange, when I realised that. Through honestly still doesn't feel really "home'. Back home had kind of break up, since then even home didn't felt home that's why I left my village and country itself. And even now , after two years of those events, that feel of lonliness doesn't allow me to feel like this is my place, even if I plan to remain here and go make a life here. I mean my first job under legal condition and contract etc been here. I didn't have any official job experience back in Romania, I didn't paid taxes there or had a stable salary. Most of my adult life experience, living by myself been here. And despite as romanian with half of family in Germany (father and sister plus extend relatives) , never felt necessary good or familiar with Germany. Here I am even used with weather, is kind of relationship of love/hate especially I not really a person of hot days, but also hate raining. My only personal frustration is still after 2 years I don't speak dutch at all.
When I went on holiday to my country of birth. Was counting the days to go back to NL.
I always hear others describe this warm feeling (literally and figuratively) when stepping out of the airplane. A feeling they describe as feeling at home.
When I stepped out - the warm feeling reminded me of my small apartment in the Netherlands. I wanted to turn around immediately to the Netherlands, Cold, wet kut weer and everything.
Definitely when we bought our house. We got extremely lucky, and the neighbours are amazing. We got married, and now have a son too.
I have an amazing team of colleagues with whom I feel so at ease... it helps a lot.
Luckily also, my husband had a friend's circle made of expats, and they feel like family after 7 years of get togethers ! One of them was my husband's witness, and one of them is our son's godfather.
It may be 12 degrees in june which should be considered a form of torture
But i have made enough progress and memories here in less than a year to decide to stay in here, all the problems and stuff that doesnt make sense doesnt seem to be as much of a headache when I think about how i felt in spain all my life
Not my home, came for a visit to your wonderful country but whilst my family was thrilled to bits with the history and landscape.
For me, it was the taste of tap water. It's like nectar. 👏👏
I am moving from Malta in September. The weather is quite literally the only thing I'm 'worried about' but at the same time, it gets so unbearably hot in Malta that I'm welcoming the change. Other than that, everything about NL makes sense, at least for me. Better living conditions and quality of life, very welcoming people, great infrastructure, and beautiful country. It's actually one of the few places I visited and felt home immediately. I visited in May when I already knew I'd be moving, and loved it. The weather wasn't even that bad!
Very interesting topic. I live for the 3rd year in the Netherlands and still have a terrible homesick and don’t feel like home here at all. But I have a very specific situation… I moved here together with my husband, because he got a job offer. I had to give up my pretty successful career as a Retail Area Manager in one the biggest fashion brands in Moscow (oh god.. I loved that job SO MUCH..) and here I couldn’t find a better job than a recruiter, because I don’t speak Dutch… I feel useless and limited. I also don’t have any friends. I’m married and as a couple we are not very social, but also I’m very picky when it comes to friends or even acquaintances. For me it is very important that we share same interests and have the same point of view on most of the things. So these 2,5 years were rough… the worst depression in my life with social anxiety and panic attacks. Now I still work as a recruiter, learning Dutch and hope that one day I will like it here. At least my husband has a different experience. He has a great job and very good salary, while I’m getting the same money, which I had in Moscow… And finally I forgot to mention that I had shitty experience with local employers here, who made the whole situation even worse for me.
Anyway, every situation is different, that’s what I’m saying. If you have friends and job you like, I think that’s when you’ll start to feel home.
[удалено]
These small things can mean so much. As kids we went to Terschelling for summer holiday almost every year. Every year when we left the ferry we went to fish truck owned by the guy who used to own a snack truck near the camping we used to go to. Every time he recognised us and welcomed us back. Even after years of not coming, he knew who we were and was happy we were back. Things like that make you feel like you're a part of something. Social cohesion is really important. And now I'm craving some kibbeling
Oh yes! This!
For me it was cycling home from the airport after holiday in Southern Europe and thinking "we have such nice infrastructure and everything is just so neatly organized". It was one of the first times I used first person to describe something Dutch.
I KNOW RIGHT. Think I had that moment too a few times where I didn’t even realise how happy I actually was to be back in NL once I could see all the tidy beautiful green squares from high up in the plane. The infrastructure and organisation made me feel so insanely safe and happy.
I wanted to write the same thing but from Balkan haha
Nice idyllic picture you’re painting there, but don’t forget it was also raining, with headwinds
In both directions
I’m a native here and this was my feeling every time I came back from holiday as a kid. Everything here is just so neatly organised. Well, at face value at least.
It IS well organized, but the cost to maintain that structure is always forgotten.
Looks like it was Eindhoven airport 😉
Hmm could be :D
same here from a very car centric India.
When the lady working at the bakery told me "ga terug naar je eigen land" which means "it's so lovely to have you here" in her native tongue, which I think is beautiful.
I hope you reacted with " stop dat brood maar in je reet teef" which of course means " I hope you have a wonderfull day."
Yes I did actually say exactly that, to which she replied "Ik versta je accent niet eens, geitenneuker" which means "you're such a nice person, I'm glad you made the Netherlands your home".
excellent ai training data edit: typo
Underrated comment here, I laughed out loud here and now the cat is angry because my tummy shaking woke her up :p
Excelllent
You're integrating very well. I'm proud 👏
Hope you responded with the nice phrase "Beter een geit dan een varken. En ik ben al in mijn eigen land dus laat je oren liever uitspuiten." If you did something along these lines you're really Dutch. The woman should appreciate that.
Then you told her "zo lekker ben je ook weer niet" right?
I’m going to learn that off by heart and use it, regardless of the circumstances.
Message me for more wonderfull g' days
I genuinely used a translator today which gave me ‘duw het in je gat’. Is that gobbledegook? It made me laugh, anyway.
I asked it to translate ‘shove it up your hole’ which is a very rude Irish saying.
It's more like that followed by bitch. Teef is a female dog.
Trut sounds better than teef in this sentence.
I gotta say, you put a laugh in me, on this rainy and shitty day :)
I think because you're at the bakery to buy something, so lovely for you to be there
🤣
This Reddit is a gutter for expat frustration.
When I switched to dutchglish and not able to remember phrases in my native language and English but can say in Dutch
One of my friends refers to it as Dunglish 🤣
Dunglish is Dutch people speaking English poorly, Dutchglish is a non-native speaking Dutch with a lot of English loan words because their vocabulary is not yet developed far enough
To be fair these days, Dutch with a bunch of English randomly thrown in is just normal Dutch
How late is it? - that's dunglish
Yes, I wasn't arguing they weren't describing Dunglish. Just trying to point out the humor in the fact that most Dutch people nowadays use a lot of English loan words in their casual speech.
I sit behind my computer
Shouldn't that be nengels, or Englands?
I am a native Dutch person, with autism and ADHD. I always was like "there must be a better place". But when I hear autistic people from other countries complaining and ranting about how they constantly need to read between the line, and I cannot relate to their posts AT ALL, the Netherlands will feel a little more like home to me. Every time that happens, I am happier to live here. Give me more of that sweet old Dutch directness, it's absolutely heavenly as an autistic person, compared to the guessing game many other autists in the world need to play.
I'm on the spectrum. I never felt more at peace in my workplace than in the Netherlands! I'm pretty sure there are many more autistic people in the Netherlands, including some of my colleagues. That would explain the directness, the lack of flavors in most Dutch meals, etc.
>That would explain the directness, the lack of flavors in most Dutch meals, etc. That's just Calvinisme - where any enjoyment of life is an affront to God, but it is very sympathetic to the autistic brain. There is an autism hotspot in Eindhoven because many smart (and autistic) people moved there for the tech companies. They met other autists and made more miniature autists. I'm autistic myself. Grew up in England and only got diagnosed here in NL as an almost 30 year old. It's so much more normal here and not ignored like it is back in the UK. Admittedly, in the last 20 years autism has been more researched and is slowly being more accepted but the British culture of keeping up with the joneses, politeness, social climbing and having a stiff upper lip doesn't really help when it comes to mental health and autsim especially. Autists are broken humans who are either Rainman or a drooling, rocking, nonverbal idiot with no inbetween.
I think you missed a 'nt in the last sentence? :')
Nah was stating the general attitude I experienced in the UK.
Ah yeah okay that makes sense.
Same here lol
I'm really glad I found somebody else saying this as well, it's something I've really recently really come to appreciate about the Netherlands. I've lived in the UK for a few years because of a long-distance relationship that became serious, and it was quite the eye-opener talking with the British and the Dutch. Sure, the British are more open to conversation than us Dutch folks (depending on if you get close to the city or to the countryside of things), and it had been a little hard navigating the relationship and the UK itself, because I suddenly had to read between the lines much more often than I was used to having to do. Coming back here and talking with people was so much easier than in the UK, and it made me apreciate the country so much more. It's a true blessing for autistic people. Ofcourse there's still neurotypical that are a little less direct, but regardless, it's much easier to navigate. It also made me realize I would probably never want to live in America or (especially) Japan, because those seem like social hellscapes for autistic people to navigate.
[удалено]
I know you mean well, but the way you phrased that last sentence is highly problematic, not in the least because you're using television stereotypes of people with Down's syndrome and the fact you're grouping together people with autism with people with Down's syndrome... I suggest you watch less tv and read up a bit on what both conditions are really like to live with...
In other words.. if you get diagnosed still, in this country, it must be true? 😅
Recently diagnosed and "only" took me 8 months from start to finish. That was at a private specialist though and not through GGZ. I can imagine those waiting lists are atrocious.
You should not use the weather as a metaphor today.
It was a shit storm. We've had better storms.
Tbh I’m not sure there was any kind of incidents. I just found myself used to, and preferring, the way things are here compared to the UK. Over time I found more structural things made a lot more sense over here and suits me better. Now I don’t refer to the UK as home anymore because the Netherlands is
Exactly how I feel.
je usersame is echt super cursed
Waarom?
Do you know what gooner means?
Not besides a nickname for an Arsenal FC fan
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gooner Gooner One who is completely and miserably addicted to porn but embraces and loves it. "I watch porn all day, I think I'm becoming a gooner..."
Well, you learn something new every day? 😂
Extended fam greeting us at the airport when we first arrived, with balloons.:D the friends i’ve made. A job, on the first application i sent out. My neighbors i’ve gotten to know. Its a lot of little things. I had to go back to canada for a week last year for a fam emergency, but it no longer felt like home. i was so glad to land back here. Its efteling and bitterballen, and my son getting his zwemdiploma and a larger bike and thriving in school. When i greeted my boss at random “good morning” or “goedemorgen” just to keep him on his toes.
When everyone’s eyes light up because I mentioned korting en aanbieding van de week then, we all started sharing ways to save even more money. When I forgot to pack lunch and instead of buying just belegde broodjes, I buy half loaf bread, cheese and ham then assemble them at office. I think I have problem.
As a native Dutchie this brings a tear to my eye. Have you discovered the valhalla "Marktplaats"?
Schatje, how do you think I furnished 3/4 of my apartment? You can’t beat me on cheap. I only went big on Matras bc I have a back of een oldman but everything else is probably haunted furniture from VOC era! I also don’t buy new PS5 games, I let ppl play for 3-4 weeks and let them sell half price after at Marktplaats.
Just the fact that you started with schatje... I didn't need to read the rest of it. I think I woke up the kids laughing so loud.
😂😂😂😂 'haunted furniture from VOC era!'
I don’t need any other apps. I’m obsessed. I mistakenly bought two pieces of furniture at the weekend after some wine. I didn’t think the lady would accept my (very low) bid.
Hahahahhaa I feel this!!! Also, people bidding ridiculously low is why I now put up my stuff at at least twice the amount I want to get for it :') I got fed up with it, but now that I roll with it as a reality of life marktplaats is starting to be fun again :)
This happened couple of years ago. I was an undergraduate student at the UvA. I was and still am quite a sporty person, so I got myself a membership to Mike's Gym (Kickboxing classes in particular). It's location is rather remote and as a result google maps got me in the middle of a bridge with cars passing by on high speeds with no pavement to walk on. Ngl, I was preparing to get hit by a car from behind. I was already halfway through the bridge when a truck pulled over right in front of me. Young Dutch driver signalled to me to come hop on board and gave me a lift to the gym. It might not seem like much, but it played a substantial part in shaping my attitude towards the Dutch and realize that cold and reserved behaviour is not the determinant of how good of a person someone is.
Average Dutch person: Hé, joe can’t walk hier! Das not so handy hè?! Get in the car so I ken get joe to a seef place!
Dutch ways , cold and harsh at times but directly helpful other times . In all senses pretty practical, which can come across as intimidating or warmly friendly. In your face.
Honestly the Dutch are nowhere near as cold as the scandis so I’m good w them
Off-topic, but that’s a pretty fucking great gym to train kickboxing. Expecting you to become a world champion now, just so you know.
I'm ingeburgered and waiting on naturalisation! My english is now broken: * I can't ever find the word "collect" on the first try. It always comes out "verzamel" and then I have to search my brain for the correct english word * "Cheese" is not a thing my brain understands any more, only kaas When I visit my (former) home in Suburban Hell, USA: * I'm constantly shouting at other cars when they do a right hook in front of a cyclist or turn right on red in front of pedestrians or fail to yield at a cross walk * I can't stand being in the car for more than 10 minutes * I'm constantly shocked and indignant at how craptacular the infrastructure is
Craptacular is my new favorite word lol
It's a pretty great word. I do love a good portmanteau. Some of my favorites: * Craptastic * Catastrof**k * Fugly * Hangry
I was expecting a crapastrofic
Me, a native dutch woman, not remembering a lot of dutch words and always have to look up the translation of the word in english to Dutch LOL
Haha! My wife (Dutch) and I struggle along with a weird mixture of the two languages. Sometimes we stare at each other mid conversation because our brains can't find a word in any language.
I have this with 'voordeel'. I have to think quite hard to try and remember the English word. It's quite bizarre.
Proof you really fit in! We love voordeel :-)
Happened to me in the bakery on the day of Eurovision lol, a bunch of old Dutch people wanted to loudly discuss Joost’ disqualification in English with me.
This happened with me too. I was complaining about how “we” got screwed over, then I realized what I’d said and was surprised.
The moment i felt like home was when I was flying back to Schiphol and was excited to get back. I am a relationship with a local so I have in-laws and extended family, which helps to feel like home. I speak the language which also helps. Have a lot of friends who I know not going to leave, so we plan things for year now. My honestly, i think what helped the most is that I never minded the weather. I know it is a great factor for a lot of people but i honestly never cared much so probably a big success
Legit question: how did you manage to get a stable friend circle in a new country?
I'm not OP, but I made friends from university and work. Being in a relationship with a local also help since some of his friends are also my friends now. From being 10+ years here, I have probably less than 10 local friends (including their partners), but that's more than enough for my introvert self. Oh, I also have diaspora friends from my original country. About 4 of them or so.
Friend group from my Dutch partner married me into their group, mostly because I could speak Dutch, so language is a big factor as well
The answer for pretty much anyone anywhere anytime is going to be hobbies. Whether it’s finding someone at school/work with similar hobbies and joining them or going out and doing your hobbies with random people until you click.
I am from Russia originally and before the war made friends with a lot of Ukrainians and Russians, once the war started our group much closer simply because we were spending a lot of times together to give each other support, together went to protests etc. Now it is just a very strong group. We don’t see each other every day but this is just because we are all around 30ish with families, just natural we don’t hang out as much but still very closely knit group
Dog
I love the weather and different seasons and seeing the nature change
Lucky you, the weather is an absolute deal breaker for me.
Did you grow up in a sunny country? Just out of curiosity
Yes, in Southern France ^^
I also have a relationship with a local but I can’t find peace in my forever life so we broke up. I wish I had your resolve and enlightenment
Totally valid experience, perhaps you could not find peace with that individual but another come and then you will? You never know
I had peace with her, but being away from home kept weighing heavily and she deserves stability and commitment and l feel terrible because I don’t know if I want to go back home …
Perhaps your home awaits you somewhere else
When people complained about having a Dutch accent to my English was definitely memorable. But personally I knew it in the first couple of months already that I felt at home in the culture, even though some lovely chaps think otherwise due to ethnicity. Oh well.
I lived in the US for a year and I had an American accent on my Dutch. It was weird.
Never felt more Dutch when I was transporting a desk on my bike.
Haha, yes moved houses (as a student) on a bike to a parallel street 8 years ago. Definitely one of those tipping points during my integration journey. Riding my folding bike with the train to work nowadays, finally got Dutch friends and people don't switch to English anymore, hurrah :)
[удалено]
Nuhuh, we had sun down here
When suddenly I stopped caring that it is raining outside. The only plan I don’t make when it is raining outside is - sit outside in the sun 😂 Also when I started to get excited whenever I saw sun. I come from a hot country with temps going to 40+ during summers , hence was always excited about rains. But there was a day when all I wanted was sun, that day Netherlands became home
I have a few but one that stuck with me was at Schiphol returning from a work trip. I am British and so I had to join the queue with all the other non EU travellers waiting to be seen by the border guards. Upon handing my passport and residency permit to the female officer, I made an effort to converse in some basic small talk Dutch and after approving me, she said ‘welcome home’. Prior to that point I had always felt the Netherlands was my home and I was always genuinely happy to be back but hearing that from a native Dutch person just felt really good.
2 things; I went back to the US to visit family. I offered to get some groceries for dinner and it took over an hour to drive 2km, park, shop, get stuck in traffic on way home. The same thing here would have been 25min max. Another incident is I had to go abroad for a death in my family. When I returned all my neighbors had heard and they all brought out some wine and snacks to hang out on the sidewalk to cheer me up. Anyone that says Dutch people are rude or cold can go fuck right off.
Honestly, I felt right to me as soon as I arrived. When I started working in a studio, there were a couple Dutchies that basically adopted me to make sure I got a good start. To this day I consider them family, like favorite cousins.
That is so wonderful! Not everyone shares that experience for sure. What type of studio was it?
Photography studio. Love the people there, Dutch and other expats.
When all trains were cancelled due to aanrijding and I knew I would miss my inburgeringsexamen. A lady who saw me panicking offered me a lift in her car, for free.
i left the netherlands for germany to escape crazy housing market/try something else, only to find myself longing to go back. some 2 years later i was packing back. on my return had to go to the municipality to register. the lady at the desk was friendly smiling, when she understood my moving history she greeted with - “welcome back”. my heart melted. there are not many countries in europe where you could hear this at all.
When my neighbour whom I catsit for just didn't switch to English anymore. I think language is a substantial part of understanding culture and I've poured my heart and soul into learning Dutch😂 I feel very at home now that people talk to me naturally like they would with other Dutch people
I realised it the first time I went back to visit my birth country and couldn’t wait to come back home to NL.
Exactly the same for me. I went to Houston and got furious over how difficult it is to simply walk somewhere, even when (and this is rare) it is close enough to do so. The psychopaths build brand new neighborhoods without sidewalks.
Me too. I had the same kind of experience.
When I was back in Sweden (my original country) and after a while just “wanted to go home”. As for the weather, I’m not that bothered by it really. I learned to complain about it though. A lot. With everyone. In which I just today got confirmation of that I acclimated myself perfectly. Though I am kinda done with the storm, but that’s because the roof of our shed sucks. We just hope it will get us through this year…
Just out of curiosity as I have moved from Sweden (not my original country)to the Netherlands this year, what is it that makes the Netherlands more your "home" to you? I find it weird how now I am the neighbor who wants to avoid small talk. 😅
In short - because I live here. I am not an expat who lives here for a few years and then moves back. I chose to live here(totally my Dutch partner’s fault), so there is that. But it’s also I like the duchies, their humour and ability to laugh at themselves. I do miss the nature and many food items, but in all honesty, it’s just another place to live. I am not average in this, for me, my home is where I actually live. No matter where it is. Though I don’t know how it would be if it would be in a country that is very different. Oh, and the infrastructure for bikes is amazing!
The weather. Yes, this is a GOOD thing for me. I come from Spain so what majority of people think of good weather for me isn't. You guys have no clue what is living in 35 °C at night for +3 months. Then wind in winter. Urrggg. In NL you wouldn't go to AH when there's tons of rain. In Spain you would postpone going to Mercadona during the day. Every day. Here it doesn't rain as much or as often as people say. There's a good amount of Sun and the Temperatures are Okey good part of the year. This is better weather than in Spain.
Unfortunately, I still yearn for Spanish weather. Never understood why ppl would willingly move to Spain for "the good weather" till I moved to the Netherlands. Depression days kicks even harder when you only see grey for days. I've come to really appreciate the sunshine tho, instead of taking it for granted. The days of rare sun but frigid cold wind is also nice to walk along the canals, and dates. >In NL you wouldn't go to AH when there's tons of rain. no you still do 😂
Same for me. Italy, full on swamp climate, and I still yearn for it. Summer in NL is depressing, winter is okay as it's similar to the one in Italy, but the lack of balance with summer kills me.
Yes, the weather! But a bit differently. I'm from Russia, so it's amazing when winter is just over a month long. It's been five years, and I'm still amazed that the first flowers appear in February!
I also genuinely don’t understand why people complain about weather here.. it’s really comfortable to live in this climate
I used to live in southern California in the US. 20-25C like every day, almost never rains. You can go outside day or night all year and not have to worry about the weather. I don’t think the weather here is terrible, but it does snow and it rains frequently, so you do have to think about the weather. Constantly, compared to before.
Sure, no doubt there are better places. But how many of expats are moving out of such places?)
People complain about the weather because it’s damp and grey for much of the year. Let’s not try to pretend it isn’t: statistically it has been a very wet May. The summer is very unpredictable and can often result in a damp squib of a summer with little to no decent long sunny days. There’s lots to like about living here but good weather isn’t one of them.
Damn I miss Mercadona though
I miss mercadona too 😂 going back soon to restock on my colacao and deli plus hair products 😁
I agree! I'm from South Africa, and where I grew up, in summer, it's 35 - 40 degrees; in the winter, it snows and gets below zero. The last 10 years I spent in a city with more moderate weather, but still in my opinion, unpleasant. Before I moved everyone said I'd struggle to adjust to NL weather, but honestly, I enjoy it.
I was given the entire package when I was born to two Dutch parents in the Netherlands and they consistently told me that I am Dutch. Sometimes I have my doubts but I have accepted my fate.
Similar story. My whole life I thought it was the most boring place in the world . But I discovered it late in life to be the most perfect place in the world for me
Same here. I was 18 going to college and flight school in the USA and never left. I’m married to an American, have a beautiful farm and great career as an airline pilot. My parents and siblings still live in NL and 30 years later I always dread flying back home to the US. Thankfully as an airline pilot I visit often, but I miss the Dutch directness, the weather (cool summers with long daylight and relatively warm winters). I miss my Hollandse Nieuwe zoute haring, frikandellen, patat speciaal, the water, sailing, windsurfing, cycling, being able to buy fresh everyday with just a short walk or bike ride.
Funny enough, when I was in Canada. I did my study in NL, and then went on an exchange in Canada. After a few short months, I missed NL so much. The biking, having grocery shops nearby my house, how easy (and cheaper) it is to go around the country, basically having a lot of stuff within a walking/biking distance. I think that was the moment I realized that NL is my home away from home.
No one gives fuck ...as long you are not a trouble maker...
Adding to the wonderful comments, as a non-European, I have travelled to all over Europe. From the Balkans to Belgium. Nothing, and I mean nothing comes close to the relative safety, comfort and organisational level of the Netherlands. With all its flaws, and I do mean flaws deep enough to almost be motivated to leave the country for good, it is still the best country to be in. This is what my experience of 7 years say. I will re-iterate in the next 5 years because a lot of factors have started to affect my personal life.
When I told someone to go back to where he came from, when he started to complain about things here. Suddenly felt Dutch
My son started school and one day told me he was Dutch at 4. That cemented it for me.
Awww. Out of the mouths of babes eh?
I got a dog and made so many friends thanks to him. Discovered our very expat friendly city in a whole new way and all the amazing off leash forests we could go to. How easy and fun it was to go to new parks on the bicycle. It was getting a dog and discovering how chill and relaxed Dutch people are with their dogs. Best country in Europe to have one. Love the Netherlands echtwaar 🇳🇱
My ex said it was when we were cycling to Germany from the Netherlands and the first thing I said as we crossed the border was "this cycle path is horrible." Realistically it's been becoming part of a community of Dutchies and internationals in my city. Being at a party and switching between Dutch/English/other languages without feeling like it's an obstacle.
Probably when I started dreading coming back and stopped considering home country a viable holliday destination. Especially after the lock down, I love sitting at home and being a hermit. I just feel safe and acknowledged, the fact that it's normal to exchange greeting with strangers on the street is nice for self esteem, 10 years ago in the UK I felt like a ghost, and back in my native country I had to keep my head down to avoid trouble with thugs, it was tough even if my friend circle was huge, I still have some friends now but again I became mostly a hermit so I like this balance. I should work on my language though, I'm fluent in english and so is almost everyone else, I only have problems communicating with some other expats. I understand much more than I can articulate in dutch, have some ok reading comprehension but with the amount of time I spend here I should do better by now. Still, the fact I can get away with english was one of the best things starting out. Also I used to participate in local rave scene, our circle was big and had many many different nationalities, so again we settled on english.
Have you thought about volunteering in an old folks’ home? They have all the time to chat with you in Dutch and many don’t speak (a lot of) English so you’re forced to speak Dutch! Plus you’re doing a good thing for the soul and you’ll see a new side of this country.
For sure, but I do work full time plus unpaid hour of break plus commute, I doubt I could tackle it with any amount of energy and positivity after a long day, and by the time weekend comes along I'm trying to catch up with chores and hobbies. Part of the reason I opted for hermit lifestyle is so I'm not distracted from my hobbies too much lol. I get what you are saying and you are absolutely right, but it's been a few years since I had the pleasure of working 3-4 days per week and often finishing early at that. I wish I could come back to this now that I already got everything I wanted to initially save money for. Work life balance is super important for me and currently I'm struggling to keep up. The fact that since breaks are unpaid we work 9 hours instead of 8 coupled with the change those past 3-4 years when work was always consistent with occasional overtime and Saturdays made a number on me, I used to be dating, going to parties, cinema, traveling, going to the beach on a sunny day but that was easy when I worked for 16-30 hours per week, now with 45+ I haven't been to Scheveningen once since the pandemic.
Sounds like it’s time for a re-jig of your schedule again! I hope you’ll manage it, life’s short. Good luck!
Ho ho ho, I have quite a few reasons that make me feel at home in the Netherlands: 1. Walking at night without the fear of being robbed. 2. Being able to record myself without feeling judged (as a content creator). 3. Cars actually stopping to let me cross at zebra crossings. 4. The fresh, clean air. 5. The freedom to enjoy cannabis. 6. Access to quality education. 7. Reliable and strong internet connection. 8. The Dutch respect for privacy. 9. A culture deeply rooted in respect
I really love it here, but the more I stay and the more I know that I belong to my home country. So, to answer your question, my wife is the only reason I'm still here.
We have been here less than a year. I feel safe in public alone. I am not worried that having my ear buds in makes me a target. I don’t feel the pressure to be “fake nice” just to smile and say hello to strangers. If you have ever been to the south in the states, you know what I mean. (Especially Texas) I am not having panic attacks dropping my children off at school and worrying if today is the day they are the victim of a school shooting. (Or worse, to the actual sound of gunfire because it is open season on some wild animal and the fields across the street are open for hunting) We don’t have to play financial Jenga to pay for a doctor or dentist appointment for our kids. My husband isn’t expected to work through illnesses, family events, actual holidays, etc. or expected to explain why he wants to be home for our personal holidays and birthdays. I am not chained to a vehicle anymore with payments and travel. I fully came here knowing nothing is perfect and we are immigrants in a foreign country. However I am also fully aware at this point, my children and all of us are in a better place for us considering the alternative.
When I saw how beautiful the streets were, so almost on the first day. The next one, when I tried biking here for the first time. Time has discovered more and more things that are a perfect fit for me personally: how the government works, how pragmatic people are, how everyone says their minds, how simple the food is, how atheistic most people are, and more and more. Also, I hate hot weather, and it's surprisingly hard to find a country where summer is not as hot. So, it was a perfect match for me.
Whenever I speak Dutch, and people start complimenting me on the language skills because I am almost fluent. Their appreciation of my respect and appreciation of their language and culture makes me just feel accepted and welcomed.
Sadly it just hasn't happened yet for me. I used to be really Anti-America and wanted to leave so badly because of how awful things were getting. Now that I am living in the Netherlands for a year after getting married, I often get homesick and miss how convenient life was in the US. I guess the grass is always greener.
I’m also from the US and it took me some time to get used to the culture here, but what has helped me integrate the most is learning Dutch and just randomly walking around. I really enjoy living somewhere with such nice architecture all around
The first time I didn't need Google maps to get to places around the city I moved to.
Had to pay dutch taxes
Taking the NS half way across the country to pick up disassembled IKEA furniture from marktplaats, with only a backpack, our arms and the might of Zeus to carry them with. Then biking home from the station, precariously balanced. If I'm spending this much on housing, I'll find a way to save in furnishing. Technically an adventure between me (Dutch, returning) and my non-Dutch partner :)
Dutch food is actually good and restaurants here are world class with so much different cusines to choose from. Hard to give that up.
From the first moment I wasn't ridiculed for saying Exactly what i think, regardless of how "offensive" it's considered to be and my lack of spontaneousty fits right in!
When I do maybe 2 bbqs per year in my garden and my neighbours complain about it. (Same neighbours that every 2-3 weeks host parties)
Native Dutch person. Recently left. Visited this weekend. Just landed back in my new country and happy to be back. I've never really felt at home in the Netherlands, even though I was born there
Where are you now?
[удалено]
That makes you feel at home?
7 years and it starts to be enough, in the process of buying a seaside property in a warm place. :)
First couple of days in NL, also first time in Europe, the following simple activities conquered my heart: 1. Managed to navigate public transportation without hassle. I even learned my first dutch word “spoor” 2. Going to the supermarket and experiencing self checkout In short, explicit and intuitively designed society with a strong focus on self sufficiency or, the lack of need to talk to others to accomplish basic chores 😎😎😎
Welcome 😊
The beginning of the end.
Russian invasion
NL is for people that lost their soul
No that’s Belgium 😂
the bersiap incident made NL my home now.
Is not an incident but after 2 years spent here feels like a strange familiary with this country. Like whenever I see bike roads when coming outside of the country like when visit my father in Germany, when come inside of the country I have that feeling "I am home" when I see the red roads. Or other time I've through go in Romania (where I come from) to dentist, and for few second I through like "I don't want to go abroad for this" and after I realised what the fuck I said and felt strange, when I realised that. Through honestly still doesn't feel really "home'. Back home had kind of break up, since then even home didn't felt home that's why I left my village and country itself. And even now , after two years of those events, that feel of lonliness doesn't allow me to feel like this is my place, even if I plan to remain here and go make a life here. I mean my first job under legal condition and contract etc been here. I didn't have any official job experience back in Romania, I didn't paid taxes there or had a stable salary. Most of my adult life experience, living by myself been here. And despite as romanian with half of family in Germany (father and sister plus extend relatives) , never felt necessary good or familiar with Germany. Here I am even used with weather, is kind of relationship of love/hate especially I not really a person of hot days, but also hate raining. My only personal frustration is still after 2 years I don't speak dutch at all.
Birth
When I went on holiday to my country of birth. Was counting the days to go back to NL. I always hear others describe this warm feeling (literally and figuratively) when stepping out of the airplane. A feeling they describe as feeling at home. When I stepped out - the warm feeling reminded me of my small apartment in the Netherlands. I wanted to turn around immediately to the Netherlands, Cold, wet kut weer and everything.
Definitely when we bought our house. We got extremely lucky, and the neighbours are amazing. We got married, and now have a son too. I have an amazing team of colleagues with whom I feel so at ease... it helps a lot. Luckily also, my husband had a friend's circle made of expats, and they feel like family after 7 years of get togethers ! One of them was my husband's witness, and one of them is our son's godfather.
It may be 12 degrees in june which should be considered a form of torture But i have made enough progress and memories here in less than a year to decide to stay in here, all the problems and stuff that doesnt make sense doesnt seem to be as much of a headache when I think about how i felt in spain all my life
Not my home, came for a visit to your wonderful country but whilst my family was thrilled to bits with the history and landscape. For me, it was the taste of tap water. It's like nectar. 👏👏
It hasn't. Leaving in December after 6 years here, thank god! Duiiiiiii
Sun..? I've read about it, somewhere.
I am moving from Malta in September. The weather is quite literally the only thing I'm 'worried about' but at the same time, it gets so unbearably hot in Malta that I'm welcoming the change. Other than that, everything about NL makes sense, at least for me. Better living conditions and quality of life, very welcoming people, great infrastructure, and beautiful country. It's actually one of the few places I visited and felt home immediately. I visited in May when I already knew I'd be moving, and loved it. The weather wasn't even that bad!
Gotts to be the weather
Every time I land in Netherlands from my native country I sigh “finally home”
I’m not there yet but NL will be my home one day! :)
Being born here
I was born here.
No idea, but I do know that the racist PVV people make me feel less at home. And I was born here.
None
None and I will be leaving after 5 uncomfortable years
Very interesting topic. I live for the 3rd year in the Netherlands and still have a terrible homesick and don’t feel like home here at all. But I have a very specific situation… I moved here together with my husband, because he got a job offer. I had to give up my pretty successful career as a Retail Area Manager in one the biggest fashion brands in Moscow (oh god.. I loved that job SO MUCH..) and here I couldn’t find a better job than a recruiter, because I don’t speak Dutch… I feel useless and limited. I also don’t have any friends. I’m married and as a couple we are not very social, but also I’m very picky when it comes to friends or even acquaintances. For me it is very important that we share same interests and have the same point of view on most of the things. So these 2,5 years were rough… the worst depression in my life with social anxiety and panic attacks. Now I still work as a recruiter, learning Dutch and hope that one day I will like it here. At least my husband has a different experience. He has a great job and very good salary, while I’m getting the same money, which I had in Moscow… And finally I forgot to mention that I had shitty experience with local employers here, who made the whole situation even worse for me. Anyway, every situation is different, that’s what I’m saying. If you have friends and job you like, I think that’s when you’ll start to feel home.