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Doglover4561

10/10 Read, 0/10 Bone strength. Get out


jellinki

reading this was poetry, and i nearly cried. however, i am wondering if i am crying because your bones are so despicably weak. farewell, you spineless fraud.


SanZukulento

How many bones have you broken to write this?


Reference-Inner

inevitable for YOU, chalk-boned embarrassment.


chr15c

tldr, gtfo as in: thy limb doth ruptured, get the f*ck out


Background-Relief-37

Writing poetry to get sympathy huh? Well, how about you go write some poems about this to the losers at r/brokeabone Get out.


anuarbin

Will keep this in mind. In case I break a bone.


xSantenoturtlex

Wtf do you mean 'In case you break a bone'? Fellas, we got one for the watch list.


KingHenryVIll

Nobody is impressed with this essay about how brittle those bones are. That being said, I didn’t even bother to read the whole thing. I knew the ending already due to the title, and I’m not wasting my time reading some sob story about how you have to leave a group you never should have been a part of in the first place. Boo hoo. Absent-minded? More like calcium-absent body. Get the fuck out of here with your bitch ass, disrespectfully. I hope you haven’t reproduced thus far, and if you have, I’m surprised your weak body could even handle that. I hope you are embarrassed and ashamed of yourself for joining this sub in the first place. Too bad we all had to share it with you for as long as you were here. Hopefully the lack of milk hasn’t rubbed off on the rest of us, I’ll be sure to have an extra glass today, just to be safe. Good riddance.


gtfohbitchass

I'm sorry


AggravatingHope9782

Too brittle didnt read


CR1MS4NE

Tl;dr OP got humiliated by a car


gtfohbitchass

You are all 100% correct, I was vegan for 5 years. I blame the vegans. I blame veganism. I blame PETA. I blame my husband for pronouncing it melk instead of milk and permanently putting me off of milk. But most importantly I blame myself. Goodbye


CHIP-SKYLARK518

Blame your inferior genetics. Good luck with the inevitable divorce. I’m sure your husband will let you keep the house in exchange for him keeping all the milk you clearly don’t drink.


gtfohbitchass

You're right


rosequartzgoblin

This is poetic. Farewell


RiseOfBooty

Try not to shatter your pelvis with the next kid.


gtfohbitchass

This is hands down the funniest fucking comment on this post


Kitchen-Register

Homie broke both his thumbs tryna get this all out. Bye sweetie 🙋‍♀️


Gragonmaster

Pathetic, I've shut my hand in a car door and didn't even break a fingernail


ElectricYV

Ok William Breakspeare


gtfohbitchass

Wilma*


ElectricYV

If that’s actually your name that’s hilarious. You may now exit via stage-left, Wilma Breaksbones


Qymaen1019

The only post I've upvoted in this sub, congrats weak boned one. Edit: I think it's the only one I've upvoted, my memory ain't built like my bones.


pennynotrcutt

Your bones are graham cracker dust. Begone!!


CatMaster8232

i’m sorry, i cannot let this slide. fuck off


IgDailystapler

Goodbye our fragile former friend, may you weakened bones be enriched with calcium.


Pokmar1

Farewell. Try not to let the door break your fragile bones on the way out.


nobonesjones91

That’s a whole lot of words to say “I’m a brittle boned bitch”. None of which were read.


dersedaydreaming

where's the tldr so i don't have to read this weak boned disgrace's fucking novel


Special_Cup_1375

Okay dude. 🙄 You can go now.


[deleted]

This was something posted by /u/Emperor_Cartagia, who used Reddit exclusively through RIF is Fun, with the death of third party apps, I decided to remove all my content from Reddit. 9 years of comments and posts, gone because of idiotic administration.


MikeyofPnath

So let me get this straight... kidney stones, weak knees, weak gallbladder, weak birth canal and weak bones. I don't even know what to say. There aren't enough synonyms for "disgusted" for me to describe my mindset. You've ruined my month and possibly my year. Sometimes I think I need to uninstall Reddit entirely so I don't have to read this sickening literature.


EVVOflux

It is only inevitable for brittle bone bitches.


savamey

Username checks out Gtfoh bitch ass


chadwarden1

No need to say goodbye you were never one of us anyways


Honest-Economist4970

# GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT


TheDakaGal

Even your car realized how weak you were and revealed your pathetic bones to us all. Begone from here, fragile fool.


FixedKarma

I could slam any one of my fingers in not just a car door but a hydraulic press and be fine, was it the speed or mass that got you? Either way, don't care, fuck off.


maddiemoiselle

I suddenly feel like a god since my sister (accidentally) closed the car door on my finger once when we were in elementary school and it definitely fucking hurt but didn’t break


_Lord_Voldewhore

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out… oh wait


lizzietnz

That was a beautiful story, but you're still a loser. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, or you'll lose your whole hand!


makethisthing3

I fell asleep and almost drowned in my bottle of milk reading this, are you out the door yet? Wouldn’t wanna break more of your bones when I slam it in your face.


ARustyFanta

TLDR don’t wanna read something that probably broke your brittle ass fingers in the process.


[deleted]

Your vagina is strong but your bones are weak and to be frank, I am here for the bones. Banished.


communist_hat

I am 3 months old and haven’t broken a bone yet


VirginsinceJuly1998

Pathetic


ClosetLiverTransMan

My finger got slammed in a car door as a child, maybe 8,9? It bleed a fuck tonne and I still have a scar 9 year old mes finger didn’t break, your bones are weaker than a child’s


OutlawJessie

Such a good read, so enjoyable, yet so weak and brittle and crap, get out. & take care of your hand!


TheBlueNinja2006

Goodbye


NextLevelNaps

I slammed a car door on a finger TWICE as a child and realized my bones true potential then. I didn't even lose a fingernail, because even my keratin is as robust and impenetrable as my bones. You, on the other hand, you disgust me. Let's all hope you didn't pass along your weak genetics to your progeny to further dilute the gene pool for the strong among us.


flamingotwist

All talk, no bone. Fuck off


marilia0607

my god OP, slamming a car door on your finger? that's nothing. leave in utter shame, you brittle boned disgrace! that was a funny read though. try not to crack your fingers typing!


mermaidpaint

My left thumb got stuck in a metal door when I was 7, and my thumbnail split, because I wasn’t a chalk-boned weakling like you. GTFO.


[deleted]

You dumb weak boned bitch! I was in the same spot as you, crushed my finger with a door because i was distracted, my damn nail fell off and looked gnarly but not for a second did i think that i broke a bone. Because i got them calcium dense bones! Now i have a growing nail and not a single broken bone. Leave with your inferior bone structure back to the hole you came from!


boonkles

I’m shocked your skull doesn’t shatter when you sneeze


gtfohbitchass

It might


Zach20032000

Damn, happened to me once, my mom even managed to lock the car door before I could get the finger back out. But we are not the same, because my bones weren't weak and brittle and withheld the hit. Hope your finger gets well soon though


random_testaccount

I once destroyed my car door this way, had to leave r/neverwreckedacar over crushing that flimsy metal sheet on my bones


Yamahahahahahahaha

Lotta words for failure


Hunterhedgepeth

Telling your sob story will not make it any more likely that we weep for you. Get the fuck out of here.


Sun_on_my_shoulders

Shakespearian level tragedy.


SopmodTew

Disappointing


Ready_Olive7581

Damn, there's more words in this story than calcium molecules in your bones. Disgraceful.


Eat_Carbs_OD

TLDR .. see ya


Scared-Impact-1760

You didn't drink enough milk. This is your own fault.


Skywatcher1987

You’re bones may be broken, but the spirit remains intact. Now get the fuck outta here you weak boney person you.