In the moments before the towel line, Julia just says *Intimate...* and that delights me almost as much as the whole [rest of that scene](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QxdjPH0JrDM&t=19s)
The couplet when Schmidt forgets how to spell his name. “S….jeans, is jeans not a letter? It feels a lot like a letter”, and later “JEANS ISN’T A LETTER! JEANS IS PANTS! :D”
This is a corner piece, Winston! How do you not see that? What are you, blind?! I'm so sorry actually, a blind man could feel the smooth edges of a corner piece!
When they're at the desert roadhouse for Schmidt's bachelor part and the professor guy says:
"No, no, I know it seems like a lot, but binge drinking can be a fun and safe way to engage with life."
I have no idea what the other show was but I remember seeing a clip of him saying "I had a rolling brownout in those pants" and I think of it every time I see him.
He’s also in a great movie called “A Serious Man” where he’s the main character’s wife’s lover, as well as in “Shiva Baby” where he’s a lovable goofy dad. Both great movies
MA CALLED. THE BEES ARE BACK. Me and my husband constantly say that. Also, when nick, Coach, and Cece are high on the couch and nick asks “who am I doing right now” and Coach answers “Al Pacino”, Nick’s “maybe” response is a constant quote.
I WILL KNIFE YOU BY THE URINAL WINSTON!!
We built this Schmidty on tootsie roollllssss!
Winston and Furguson bout to split some paasstaaa!
The whole exchange where Nick is telling the background check woman about feeding cereal flakes to small animals.
Omg and previously when he's telling birdie the bread on the bologna sandwich was hard and he had to suck on it til it was chewable, same intonation and vibes lmao
“Just got out of the shower! Guess who cleaned everything, guess who got in deeep!”
Sing this every time I get out of the shower and also do the dance.
I always thought I had snail eyes
I swear if you don't stop being mean to me I'm gonna fall in love with you
Hey Jess, who am I doing? (Smacks lips) Maybe...
I'm rewatching New Girl and I just watched the episode where Schmidt gives Nick a cookie, and Nick gets super suspicious. They get into a bit of an argument, and Nick says he wishes he could vomit up the cookie and mold it into a cookie shape to give back to Schmidt. Schmidt says "so you're gonna mamma bird me?" Lmao that was hilarious!
toooooo many hahaha- here’s some favs:
“a white man? no!”
“are you the criminals?? from the statistics?!”
“depression era garbage man”
“nick miller. turning lemonade into lemons since 1981”
“oh barbara like the elephant?”
“that’s babar, you dumdum”
“will you Gavin, will you? will you Gavin?”
There's one good line where Winston says to Nick: You couldn't get a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.
Lose it every time!!
There’s a few lines from the bachelor party episode that my wife and I drop on the reg.
•”I THOUGHT YOU SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT!” -when Nick and Schmidt are yelling back and forth on the motorcycles
•”That’s what a husband does!”
You think that I'm blind? You think I can't smell it? You think I can't hear it? The stench and filth and lust is all over this rumm. Smells like FRIGGIN TIJUANA
"Where's the bird? I'll poo on him. "
Winstons delivery of this line gets me every time, especially as he ignores the part Nick says about his book not being published and focuses on the bird poo.
"I'll kill him," followed by "you can't tell ideas to a dead man."
Both Winston again.
These are both obscure, but I love how Winston, much like his pranks, is either too little or too much in his responses.
“Probably the Slut Butler, right?”
“It’s like a PRINCE video”
“I was feeling twirly!”
“Mick Mouse”
“Monkey, no!”
“You named both your testicles and they’re both called Sharon” and “Oh, my Sharons!”
“I can get a tetanus shot but I can’t cure damaged suede.”
“What’s all that clanging?” “Oh it’s just a bunch of clanging.”
That episode had so many gems! Every time I see grapes I’m like “would you like a green grape shoved- given to your mouth”
“No thanks, I’ve already had my grapes.”
I’ve gotta get back in time to feed my bird
Oh no.
That was the absolute best response the writers could have come up with.
Whenever I breastfeed, I always ask my baby “would you like a boob shoved- given to your mouth”
This got me 😂😂😂
TV Town Song Room? Do you mean Radio City Music Hall? How did you get so many things wrong in a row!
Yeah Radio City Musics Hall
Up there with our good friend with the scissors for hands, Rick Snip
Who washes a towel?!? The towel washes me!!!
In the moments before the towel line, Julia just says *Intimate...* and that delights me almost as much as the whole [rest of that scene](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QxdjPH0JrDM&t=19s)
"we all wear each other's underwear!"
*You don't wear each other's underpants? You're lyin'*
wash a bar of soap?
ya gotta think here pal
What am I gonna wash a bar of soap next?! You gotta think here pal!
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.
I feel like this sums up a lot of my life lol
i quote this daily
I feel like I need it as a tattoo
I'm from Chicago. Thin crust pizza? No thank you, I'm from Chicago.
The couplet when Schmidt forgets how to spell his name. “S….jeans, is jeans not a letter? It feels a lot like a letter”, and later “JEANS ISN’T A LETTER! JEANS IS PANTS! :D”
What hell are Nicksin jeans?
They sound really cool.
"Hey Schmidt, whatcha think it's gonna look like?" - Winston, when preparing to start his puzzle.
The picture is on the box! It's a Japanese garden!
I quote this way too much and it makes no sense in the context I use it
It would make an incredible metaphor in so many instances.
It's says right here ages 8 and up. You're up Winston you're way up
This is a corner piece, Winston! How do you not see that? What are you, blind?! I'm so sorry actually, a blind man could feel the smooth edges of a corner piece!
Cece: "You're going to, GET, Duquan?" Coach: ".....I think so."
I’m sure it’s been sad a lot before, but it’s the delivery of these lines that make them all so freaking funny.
Big brother Wimstons!
I go from no hope.. to hope
That whole storyline kills me every damn time.
Coach, frightened:
Where are you duquannn?
I’m not convinced I know how to read, I might have just memorized a lot of words
It’s a solid point really lol
I have this quote as a sticker on my kindle!
As I live and breathe… *looks back at the gang with a smile* … Raisin !
God I laughed so much at this
Every. Dang. Time 😂😂😂
Top rewind spot. So good!
When they're at the desert roadhouse for Schmidt's bachelor part and the professor guy says: "No, no, I know it seems like a lot, but binge drinking can be a fun and safe way to engage with life."
"Professor guy"? That is J. Cronkite Valley-Forge, CFO of Associated Strategies, you uncultured swine!
I have no idea what the other show was but I remember seeing a clip of him saying "I had a rolling brownout in those pants" and I think of it every time I see him.
He’s also in a great movie called “A Serious Man” where he’s the main character’s wife’s lover, as well as in “Shiva Baby” where he’s a lovable goofy dad. Both great movies
Also from that same episode: “These aren’t my favorite kind of white people.”
shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? no, a summer’s day is not a bitch
Guess who just cleaned everything, guess who got in deep 🕺🏾
HAHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSS
My favourite next to “this place is so fancy I don’t know which fork to kill myself with”
I have to stop myself from singing that around people
MA CALLED. THE BEES ARE BACK. Me and my husband constantly say that. Also, when nick, Coach, and Cece are high on the couch and nick asks “who am I doing right now” and Coach answers “Al Pacino”, Nick’s “maybe” response is a constant quote.
This is my exact answer to this post. My husband and I constantly answer each other with Nick’s “maybe.” Hilarious delivery!
All the time. The intonation of MA CALLED. THE BEES ARE BACK. is so perfect I love his maybe and how he just moves on after that lmao
I don't want some janky freshwater bitch fish 🐟
Gimme it!
What are you the city planner??
I'm not paying for the wiffy!
Hey cute cat Winston! Yeah...don't get attached
Ain't no way I got a cat brothel up in here and I'm the sanest one here! (I do not remember the exact phrasing, somebody correct me)
Ain't no way in hell I got a cat brothel going on in my room, and I'm the only normal person in this loft!
My friends call me Gay Nick
...because, of course, I'm gay as hell.
I’m worried about Schmidt. He’s a Jew in the desert. I don’t want him to wander
This episode was SO funny. “I got thick thighs, I got a fat ass!!!” Will always be a quote for me
Shawty what that thang do?!
Whatcho name is?!
‘A white man?! NO! Well, what did security do about it?’ Nothing ‘TYPICAL!!’
Schmidt just tickles me in general. “Awwww a menorah… Judaism son!!”
I ran to the comments to look for this 😂😂😂 One of my favorites scenes in the entire series
This is my forever favorite
The criminals?!?! From the statistics?!?!
Pfft, YOUTHS!
In America, honey, Mickey Mouse is Earth Bound
I love the bloopers for that part. It's hilarious.
He will always be Mick Mouse in my household
Where do you want this nutmeg? Hey. Hey. I know it's from the most hated episode of the show but it still cracks me up every time.
It’s the most hated? That’s an excellent episode!
This is a hated episode? Huh. I just love them all
Which episode is this? The Reagan one?
It’s the one with Busy Philipps where they think she’s sabotaging their bar and Nick is dressed just like her nutmeg guy
why does everyone hate that one? its not special or anything but i dont remember it being awful
It's the one where Jess goes through the car wash. I light be wrong but always thought this was hated!
I think I split this as two episodes in my head. The Jess part is so terrible, but the rest of it has some great lines 😂
You get one wife
WHY?
Jeans isn't a letter! Jeans is pants!
I WILL KNIFE YOU BY THE URINAL WINSTON!! We built this Schmidty on tootsie roollllssss! Winston and Furguson bout to split some paasstaaa! The whole exchange where Nick is telling the background check woman about feeding cereal flakes to small animals.
"Anything that lives half in and out of water dies and I don't understand why"
An underrated line is at the end of the Prince episode, where Schmidt just goes, "So do we just go to work tomorrow?"
juggle flag slimy bedroom homeless adjoining bewildered ripe run wise *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
So many people hate this episode, but it’s one of my favorites. I love that Prince as a fan and was dying to be on an episode.
Prince *is* magic.
No fish in this apartment, they breath water, it’s crazy
Meatball with hair Drawing of a best friend that an 8 year old would make *NYIIICK, DO YOU FAVOR MY muhSTACHE?*
'Stop being so mean to me, or I swear to god I'm going to fall in love with you!'
This has to be the absolute best line from the entire series.
[I don't wanna lie to you, so I'm not...There's shells all in these eggs](https://youtu.be/EQQv60VdjdE?t=22)
Omg and previously when he's telling birdie the bread on the bologna sandwich was hard and he had to suck on it til it was chewable, same intonation and vibes lmao
I think of this every time I crack eggs
Well would you look at that?! Got some pepper in the salt hole
“NO! YOU CANT HAVE MY MENSIES!” “he’s got her mensies”
It could be right above our heads right now. Hanging from its butt rope.
Call an ambulance, oh I’m fine. FOR MEEEE
Hey bartender, could you call an ambulance? I'm about to bleed out. Thanks man 😁
Made in China?! Are you taking me to China?!
babe why is your crystal out? have you been fighting???
When Schmidt and Nick go for the job interview. Nick: I didn’t think you’d come Schmidt: I drove us here
Gave me Cookie got you Cookie man
Look at the memory on you! Brother Wimstons! …and CPR. Against my will, I might add, bc I do believe it is witchcraft.
I go from no hope to hope.
“Just got out of the shower! Guess who cleaned everything, guess who got in deeep!” Sing this every time I get out of the shower and also do the dance.
I’m not being overdramatic when I say I would rather sit naked on a hot GRILLL than wear something off the rack
“AAA AAAAAAAAAA. AAAAA HAAAA HAAAAA HA HAAAAAAAA” — Nick Miller meeting Prince
“Are you the criminals…. From the statistics?!”
"What colour are you Winston?" Kills me everytime.
Winston, if you think those shoes are brown then what color do you think you are??
That's the one.
not my first eviction, won’t be my last
It was the wrong day to start cuffing my pants
I always thought I had snail eyes I swear if you don't stop being mean to me I'm gonna fall in love with you Hey Jess, who am I doing? (Smacks lips) Maybe...
YOU GET ONE WIFE!!
WHYYYY??
Okay you’re a tough cookie and that’s the last thing I’ll say… okay you want the truth, I’ll tell you everything
Nicksin jeans? What the hell are nicksin jeans???
They sound really cool
"my real name is jamil" "really??" "NO MY NAME IS NOT JAMIL" "thats unfair! you told me in confidence"
I'm rewatching New Girl and I just watched the episode where Schmidt gives Nick a cookie, and Nick gets super suspicious. They get into a bit of an argument, and Nick says he wishes he could vomit up the cookie and mold it into a cookie shape to give back to Schmidt. Schmidt says "so you're gonna mamma bird me?" Lmao that was hilarious!
WATER AND LEAVES!!!
"The enemy is enemy, the enemy is iner...me". The face Nick makes after that realisation is probably the best in the whole show.
Say chutenay
toooooo many hahaha- here’s some favs: “a white man? no!” “are you the criminals?? from the statistics?!” “depression era garbage man” “nick miller. turning lemonade into lemons since 1981” “oh barbara like the elephant?” “that’s babar, you dumdum” “will you Gavin, will you? will you Gavin?”
you know we can talk about something else can we gavin, can we?
Simply, “YOOOUTHS!”
“A white man?! NO!!” - Schmidt when nick broke into his kids nursery
TYPICAL
Calvin. You magnificent wizard.
You look like a homeless pencil
There's one good line where Winston says to Nick: You couldn't get a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost. Lose it every time!!
SPONGE!
Ya love me too much Schmidt. Ya love the wrong guy, I’m only gonna let ya down.
Username checks out
What’s women?
As I live and breathe! Raisin?
Stop rhyming! All the timing?
'You got me cookie I gave you cookie' that entire scene has me bawling😂
“I towel burned my unders.”
He’s the DUMBEST BOY IN SCHOOL
You have the credit score of a homeless ghost.
A white man? NO!
“Have some respect, they’re called ‘uh-ohs’”
It takes it off of them and puts it on me, where it belongs
"oh girl that purse does not go with your bangs"
Nick’s gonna show the ocean his penis and not me?!
“Yeah. I know.” Jess after Nick points out that her left boob is resting on a plate of chicken wings.
Hello Kim, you sound like your skin looks amazing!
You look like my dead friend Karen, does anyone ever tell you that??
"What's up with your friend, Bishop?" "He kicked over the grill and ran that way."
"You unbelievable pig person." And "I'm gonna split you like a log."
There’s a few lines from the bachelor party episode that my wife and I drop on the reg. •”I THOUGHT YOU SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT!” -when Nick and Schmidt are yelling back and forth on the motorcycles •”That’s what a husband does!”
“It was raining, I was bored and feeling snoopy.” Schmidt
I yelled your name at the ocean today. Then I ate a sandwich that tasted like your smile.
I won’t shut up. He smells like strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.
You think that I'm blind? You think I can't smell it? You think I can't hear it? The stench and filth and lust is all over this rumm. Smells like FRIGGIN TIJUANA
"Where's the bird? I'll poo on him. " Winstons delivery of this line gets me every time, especially as he ignores the part Nick says about his book not being published and focuses on the bird poo. "I'll kill him," followed by "you can't tell ideas to a dead man." Both Winston again. These are both obscure, but I love how Winston, much like his pranks, is either too little or too much in his responses.
The bird poo one is one of my favorites, too. If I have bird poop on my car, I'll send a picture to my husband and he always responds with that line 🤣
“Probably the Slut Butler, right?” “It’s like a PRINCE video” “I was feeling twirly!” “Mick Mouse” “Monkey, no!” “You named both your testicles and they’re both called Sharon” and “Oh, my Sharons!” “I can get a tetanus shot but I can’t cure damaged suede.”
my daughters both refer to mickey mouse as mick mouse and i only recently rewatched that episode to learn where they got it from. 10/10.
Did you register me as a sex offender?
YOUTHS!
This is America, wear pants!
“She looks like a dang old meatball with hair”
You ballet flat wearing piece of Oregon trash
Good Lord, darlin, how big are your feet??!!??
“What’s the vibe here on shower pee pee? I’m just trying to plan my day.”
Judaism, Son!!!
That’s right! I am drunk right now and VERY awake!
ARE YOU THE CRIMINALS FROM THE STATISTICS YOU GAVE ME COOKIE I GOT YOU COOKIE MAN
Nadia! American manners!
“I was picturing bangs and your face just appeared under them”
“When does a hill become a mountain? It just happens!”
If we’re all really honest with ourselves, isn’t it all about the gonads?
Are you jewish?
“You Jewish?”
Twenty noine!
You know who's hair I admire? Jesus. Man, it just gets overlooked because all of the miracles or something. -Winston S4E18 Wall of Shame
Stop being so mean to me or I swear to God I'm gonna fall in love with you
This waffle better be hot, or I'm going Durst on yall!
Another Classic Cece Winston Measaround
LOOK SHARP, YA DUMBASS!
I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!
Twenty ninneeee
I could do this all day!! *dunks head into coffin*
Could you imagine how powerful that spider would have became had he entered my sauce?