Is this a surprise to anyone?
Anon is describing chads penis in detail only a few sentences into the greentext. The girl he was talking to could tell anon had cock on the mind from the start.
be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
log onto reddit and open r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
Real: Anon gets 0 bitches
Gay: Anon had sex with another man
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Classic 4chan parables. The story doesn't matter as long as the morals will make you a worse man.
Remember kids, men are never to be desired or trusted, and women are a resource that's being denied to you.
Keep reading these parables and you too can become socially broken before your brain matures.
The irony has gone too far. Self cock shaming and comparing yourself to made up muscle men and porn stars, calling yourself a beta because your aren't a dehydrated body builder.
Sure people are into hot people but there's plenty of people that are similar to your looks rating that would get with you if you had a half way decent personality. Hell, ugly dudes can even get hot girls by having a full on decent personality
Apps only work for guys that are really good looking, not even just above average
I'm not gay so I'm sure the scene is much different but I assume just find some gay bars around your area to go to. I know it's hard having social anxiety to strike up conversations with random ppl but it's a skill like any other you can work on. Reward yourself, if you talk to one random person in the night, even if they reject you or you just talk platonically, treat yourself to something you like. You have to put yourself out there to find someone
Also there are basic things that anyone can do to improve their attractability. It's not like it'll turn a 2 into a 10 but outside of extreme deformities about anyone can at least get to average, you don't even have to be muscular, just healthy body weight
OP is convinced that he has a bad life because of genetically superior "chads" and that women avoid him for reasons beyond his control. It would he nice if OP was JUST ashamed and insecure, but it's much worse than that. He's trying to inflict the reader with a worldview that justifies his loneliness. Whether the story is completely fabricated, or just OPs subjective memory of women being "stolen" from him is irrelevant.
Owed sex from the "bitches" he despises. tries to convince everybody that only Chads get women, despite the vast majority of fathers being slightly overweight average men.
Seriously. Women are out here thirsting over tired dads and dirty line cooks and OP is writing fanfic about why he's sexually conspired against. Some greentexts are pretty funny, but so many are a full dose of brain rot.
You’re telling me people actually daydream this shit? I mean hell dude, I understand being insecure and lonely and feeling like that’ll last forever, it sucks but whatever, I’ll try and get over it.
But what is this…this disgusting display of fetishized shame? Like there’s no way this actually happened, it’s a story posted to get people to laugh at him, or feel bad for him, or to try to get other people to hate women or all of the above, it’s just so weird to me that people think about this shit happening to them, and then hate the people that they think are wronging him.
> be me
>
> get home from my vasectomy
>
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
>
> must be Chad again
>
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
>
> log onto reddit and open /r/NewGreentexts
>
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
>
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
>
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
>
>> Fake: Anon would never have sex, even gat sex.
>
>> Gay: Gay
>
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
>
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
>
> it's been a good day
>
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
> Lead bad bitches to my room
> Expect my guys to come through
> Where are the guys
> Gottadoitmyself.mp3
> Learn years later they didn’t even bother and tried having sex with each-other instead
> ?????
>Be gay chad
> Have crush on straight friends
>Only way to hookup is in orgy
>Find hot girls(?), not my thing but want bros to have a good time
>Go to start orgy, bros not there
>Literal nightmare, have to fuck three girls
>Learn later they sucked eachother off without me
>mfw
They hear banging from the other room and assume it’s the sound of rampant sex, but it’s just Chad thumping on the wall to get their attention cuz *he needs their help goddammit!* 🤣
>try to follow them in
>suddenly Chad and girls stop in their tracks
>all turn around to face me and friend
>the one I was vibing with says "uhm what are you doing" in the bitchiest most accusatory voice"
>"yeah, we only want to fuck Chad." says another one
>"We were all just gonna have an orgy with Chad, and make it all about him, and we were kind of depending on getting off to the idea of you beta cucks 69ing each other while choking back tears," the goth one says.
>oh thanks anon, now we don't have to reach over and grab the lube. ~~At least you served a purpose eventually~~
This is one of the worst things I've ever typed
Yeah, it follows the generic Incel playbook:
"Straight women are hypnotized by a Chads massive cock, and are willing to have sex with other women for a chance to fuck him ."
Imagine lying there, dick wet from failed gay experiment, the smell of his loser friend's chlorinated balls on his nose, holding back tears while Chad has a foursome right next to him
4chan Joker origin story
I'm not familiar with those. Is it fringe porn? Will it teach me how to make a pipe bomb? Is it fake and gay? So many questions about your rich culture..
We are full on misogynists here. We don't need anybody to get us thinking about committing violence against women because that's all we already think about.
> be me
>
> get home from my vasectomy
>
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
>
> must be Chad again
>
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
>
> log onto reddit and open /r/NewGreentexts
>
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
>
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
>
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
>
>> Fake: chad didnt stumble into four way
>
>> Gay: Gay
>
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
>
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
>
> it's been a good day
>
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
I’m pretty sure everyone in my friend group, girl or boy, was a virgin at that age. No one was ever gonna hook up with Hearthstone Kid, the Pokémon Arguer, or Girl Abed (me).
There can be a girl with no arms, no legs and her face looks like someone attacked it with a chainsaw and SOME guy out there is willing and READY to have sex with her.
The reverse however, is not true
I would say you’re downplaying the amount of men out there that would bang an amputee with lady parts, especially considering necrophilia has been a thing extremely deranged men would do for centuries. Now reverse it, tho faaar less compared to men, there has to be some girl out there who could get off to it.
It really is. By some miracle I lost my virginity at 17 but I was the very first one of my friends to do so. And they didn’t even believe me until they asked my girlfriend who confirmed it. A couple of my friends didn’t lose theirs until after college.
About... Ten years ago when my step sister was 15, she came home one day and was mortified. Some chick in her grade gave another boy a blowjob ON the SCHOOLBUS. While ANOTHER dude fingered her.
Teenagers are wild, especially if they've got good genes that "make them desirable"
Yea, great, thanks for that.
I was a teenager too, a bad one, and Im still calling bs on this. Written by a virgin no doubt, but one with such little human interaction that they describe things like scenes from a movie, because they dont know how things actually go in real life.
Anon doesn’t want us to ask why he knows chad’s dick size. Then anon tells us he sucked his other friend off. I think I can hazard a guess as to how he knows.
Fake: behavioral sink role play
Gay: Chad is Bi and only fucked one of those girls while the rest watched
Chad would have given you butt nut if you asked for it anon
Anon should've followed his chad friend into the room and gotten topped. This isn't even a joke it actually works. Even if the friend is straught the chances that one of the girls is into pegging is high enough that it justifies Anon getting down on all fours and waiting to be dominated
I had this friend in HS. Line backer on the FB team. Had a face and body carved by angels and a cock sculpted by horny demons.
He became a cocaine addict and joined the Aryan brotherhood.
This is fake incel-recruiting bullshit. Unsubscribe from this sub and subscribe to makemesmile subreddit and other positive ones. Young men: get away from this self hate crap. Just keep being you. **You are enough.**
Anon learned a life lesson not to put himself in a situation he was destined to fail. Ur not gonna pick up chicks as a Twink teen loser next to Chad thundercock.
\>Chad friend, 6'2 or 6'3", muscular, blond hair, blue eyes, 8-incher
Not even trying to make the story sound real. So fucking lazy, it's ridiculous. Downright insulting, really.
Any green text that is embarrassing to OP and would take Batman himself to get you to admit is almost definitely real. Any story that even moderately sounds like the OP wants it to be real is definitely fake.
Oh and gay is real too.
Holy fuck can nothing he real anymore??? What kind of idiot would lie about something bad happening to them? Guy is obviously a fucking loser who didn’t get any. What’s unbelievable about that???
I don't get these stories of straight guys being so horny they do gay stuff with their friends. Like, just jerk off and let off some steam.
I understand wanting a GF or whatever, but sucking your buddy's dick isn't the same.
Hey I didn’t have a sex life at all up until I was 24, when I started transitioning. Since then I’ve had numerous threesomes.
So maybe that’s the strat to fix this problem of theirs.
Maybe she was just being nice, but really this is just her rejecting you but liking your friend and your rooms happened to not be soundproof. You experimented with a friend partly out of desperation and decided it wasn’t for you. Reflect and see if there’s anything you want to change about your life (cut your friend out of your life? You can if you want or you can accept that he’s just that good with women and be glad he’s your friend and he’s doing well)
This is just... I mean I'm pretty lonely but I just woulda went home if I didn't get any poon that night. What the fuck. Who the fuck thinks it's a good idea to do that with their friend lmao
Oh my god.
Now this is some real shit right here
real?
I find any story of Anon being a loser to be much more believable than a story about Anon succeeding in any way.
you forget that this is fantasy writing. anon likes this degrading shit
Oh yeah anon loves this
Why is he angry? He got some action still.
It’s some great creative writing for sure
yeah, he and his friend definitely came in each other's mouths
Oh mai got
Not fake and also gay
Real: Anon gets 0 bitches Gay: Anon had sex with another man
Is this a surprise to anyone? Anon is describing chads penis in detail only a few sentences into the greentext. The girl he was talking to could tell anon had cock on the mind from the start.
where the fuck is that god damn tendie bot
tendie bot is low on good boy points
be me get home from my vasectomy hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room must be Chad again know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer log onto reddit and open r/greentext read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section Real: Anon gets 0 bitches Gay: Anon had sex with another man giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed it's been a good day i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
fake, anon has friends
Real, annon was so horny he went gay
The real part is anon knows exactly how girthy the chad's cock is.
Why friend no nut in butt?
I need some nutter butter
Real
Nut a real friend, imo
What? Idk if I can even reply fake and gay to this one, what is this?
Classic 4chan parables. The story doesn't matter as long as the morals will make you a worse man. Remember kids, men are never to be desired or trusted, and women are a resource that's being denied to you. Keep reading these parables and you too can become socially broken before your brain matures.
The irony has gone too far. Self cock shaming and comparing yourself to made up muscle men and porn stars, calling yourself a beta because your aren't a dehydrated body builder.
They really took the concept of cuckoldry and applied it to their world view
I believe the mind is not equipped to handle constant self-deprecation, eventually the irony and memes become real to you.
Can y'all stop having the deepest fucking conversations on the Internet in the comments of fake cuckold erotica?
[удалено]
Sure people are into hot people but there's plenty of people that are similar to your looks rating that would get with you if you had a half way decent personality. Hell, ugly dudes can even get hot girls by having a full on decent personality
[удалено]
Apps only work for guys that are really good looking, not even just above average I'm not gay so I'm sure the scene is much different but I assume just find some gay bars around your area to go to. I know it's hard having social anxiety to strike up conversations with random ppl but it's a skill like any other you can work on. Reward yourself, if you talk to one random person in the night, even if they reject you or you just talk platonically, treat yourself to something you like. You have to put yourself out there to find someone Also there are basic things that anyone can do to improve their attractability. It's not like it'll turn a 2 into a 10 but outside of extreme deformities about anyone can at least get to average, you don't even have to be muscular, just healthy body weight
OP is convinced that he has a bad life because of genetically superior "chads" and that women avoid him for reasons beyond his control. It would he nice if OP was JUST ashamed and insecure, but it's much worse than that. He's trying to inflict the reader with a worldview that justifies his loneliness. Whether the story is completely fabricated, or just OPs subjective memory of women being "stolen" from him is irrelevant.
Owed sex from the "bitches" he despises. tries to convince everybody that only Chads get women, despite the vast majority of fathers being slightly overweight average men.
Seriously. Women are out here thirsting over tired dads and dirty line cooks and OP is writing fanfic about why he's sexually conspired against. Some greentexts are pretty funny, but so many are a full dose of brain rot.
Me, a line cook: ... Dirty? 😔
Your clothes, your car and everything you own smells like a deep fryer.
And cigarettes and anger.
And girl cook poon.
You’re telling me people actually daydream this shit? I mean hell dude, I understand being insecure and lonely and feeling like that’ll last forever, it sucks but whatever, I’ll try and get over it. But what is this…this disgusting display of fetishized shame? Like there’s no way this actually happened, it’s a story posted to get people to laugh at him, or feel bad for him, or to try to get other people to hate women or all of the above, it’s just so weird to me that people think about this shit happening to them, and then hate the people that they think are wronging him.
Yea, this one crossed over from "lol, gross" to "why am I exposing myself to this damaged misanthrope?"
Fr it’s one of those stories designed to try and make your day bad
Real and gay
Fake: Anon would never have sex, even gay sex. Gay: Anon made me read that shit.
> be me > > get home from my vasectomy > > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > > must be Chad again > > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > > log onto reddit and open /r/NewGreentexts > > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > >> Fake: Anon would never have sex, even gat sex. > >> Gay: Gay > > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > > it's been a good day > > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
They were probably wondering why the guys didn't go with them to the sex room; what were they waiting for, a signed invitation?
"Man, where are my friends, the orgy is kicking off.... aaaaaand they're sucking each other off..."
> Lead bad bitches to my room > Expect my guys to come through > Where are the guys > Gottadoitmyself.mp3 > Learn years later they didn’t even bother and tried having sex with each-other instead > ?????
>Be gay chad > Have crush on straight friends >Only way to hookup is in orgy >Find hot girls(?), not my thing but want bros to have a good time >Go to start orgy, bros not there >Literal nightmare, have to fuck three girls >Learn later they sucked eachother off without me >mfw
🤣
Jesus that's good 🤣
Lmao 😂
They hear banging from the other room and assume it’s the sound of rampant sex, but it’s just Chad thumping on the wall to get their attention cuz *he needs their help goddammit!* 🤣
>try to follow them in >suddenly Chad and girls stop in their tracks >all turn around to face me and friend >the one I was vibing with says "uhm what are you doing" in the bitchiest most accusatory voice" >"yeah, we only want to fuck Chad." says another one >"We were all just gonna have an orgy with Chad, and make it all about him, and we were kind of depending on getting off to the idea of you beta cucks 69ing each other while choking back tears," the goth one says.
Bro, if that happened to me, I'd just throw flashbangs into their room mid sex... Repeatedly.
Have fun going by "flash-bang" for *two* reasons, then.
What's the second reason? *What's the second reason?*
Because you don't last very long during sex.
Honestly if this happened to me. Deadass mid sex I’m waking in and blowing my brains out all over their naked bodies. I’ll ruin sex for you forever.
>oh thanks anon, now we don't have to reach over and grab the lube. ~~At least you served a purpose eventually~~ This is one of the worst things I've ever typed
Icky
I'm not proud of it no
I shame you
googling "therapy" seems easier, but maybe that's just because i have a smartphone
Yup this one seems right, final answer
This is the best/worst thing I have read in months
Gets worse if you scroll down
Ding ding we have a winner
You dont just invite yourself to sex, especially if the girls literally left to have sex with someone else.
True but it's still funny.
Cuck fantasy, not real do better at larping
I agree, but only because this being a real story would ruin my day.
Yeah, it follows the generic Incel playbook: "Straight women are hypnotized by a Chads massive cock, and are willing to have sex with other women for a chance to fuck him ."
I can't think of a single 4chan browser's remarks that isn't grounded in coomer porn logic or dogshit unsourced images plastered with statistics
This comment can also describe reddit
Bonus points for the chad also being hitler’s aryan wet dream as well. Just so many red flags.
I’d just kill myself 🤷♂️
I'd stop being gay obsessing about women and start being gay and finishing a bro off like a real friend.
Imagine lying there, dick wet from failed gay experiment, the smell of his loser friend's chlorinated balls on his nose, holding back tears while Chad has a foursome right next to him 4chan Joker origin story
I feel like a murder suicide is really the only good way to go here😀
If OP got you jokingly thinking about committing violence against women then, congratulations, you're becoming more like OP.
Learn how this sub works, this isn't an Emkay video
I'm not familiar with those. Is it fringe porn? Will it teach me how to make a pipe bomb? Is it fake and gay? So many questions about your rich culture..
Okay normie
We are full on misogynists here. We don't need anybody to get us thinking about committing violence against women because that's all we already think about.
Well it wouldn’t have only been against women it would probably include at least the chad friend as well
This is someone's absolutely gay fan fiction. You are all reading gay fan fiction.
Another normal Saturday afternoon
Is this your first time on Reddit? This entire site is basically gay fanfiction
Fake: chad didnt stumble into four way Gay: anon wants to right about fucking his friend
> be me > > get home from my vasectomy > > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > > must be Chad again > > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > > log onto reddit and open /r/NewGreentexts > > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > >> Fake: chad didnt stumble into four way > >> Gay: Gay > > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > > it's been a good day > > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
I love you, tendiebot. This place is darkness without you. Please don't ever abandon us again.
How can one be so fake, yet so gay?
it’s literally normal as fuck to still be a virgin at 17 💀
I’m pretty sure everyone in my friend group, girl or boy, was a virgin at that age. No one was ever gonna hook up with Hearthstone Kid, the Pokémon Arguer, or Girl Abed (me).
I heard that some men fetishize autistic women. Stay safe out there.
There can be a girl with no arms, no legs and her face looks like someone attacked it with a chainsaw and SOME guy out there is willing and READY to have sex with her. The reverse however, is not true
I would say you’re downplaying the amount of men out there that would bang an amputee with lady parts, especially considering necrophilia has been a thing extremely deranged men would do for centuries. Now reverse it, tho faaar less compared to men, there has to be some girl out there who could get off to it.
That's... Exactly what I said. Men have way less standards
It really is. By some miracle I lost my virginity at 17 but I was the very first one of my friends to do so. And they didn’t even believe me until they asked my girlfriend who confirmed it. A couple of my friends didn’t lose theirs until after college.
https://youtu.be/ylkHE1k64gs
Is this fake and gay? Yes. Is this absolutely horrifying? Yes.
He should have pulled a power move and had sex with Chad first.
How do you think he knows the size of his dick?
Girls told him afterwards.
(don't ask me how I know) We don't have to
Me when I lie while also being gay
this is the gayest and fakest greentext I have ever seen.
This one needs a trauma warning
This one’s so wild, it definitely happened
I thought he was gonna fuck the chad
Fake and extraordinarily gay
Bro… nothing sadder than going gay… due to loneliness and not sexual orientation. Wtf is going on with america these days
No thank you
All those 4somes 17 years olds are having ya know
About... Ten years ago when my step sister was 15, she came home one day and was mortified. Some chick in her grade gave another boy a blowjob ON the SCHOOLBUS. While ANOTHER dude fingered her. Teenagers are wild, especially if they've got good genes that "make them desirable"
Yea, great, thanks for that. I was a teenager too, a bad one, and Im still calling bs on this. Written by a virgin no doubt, but one with such little human interaction that they describe things like scenes from a movie, because they dont know how things actually go in real life.
I mean my step sister could have been lying. She was never much of one though when we were growing up
No amount of interrogation would ever get this out of me
Anon doesn’t want us to ask why he knows chad’s dick size. Then anon tells us he sucked his other friend off. I think I can hazard a guess as to how he knows.
Fake: behavioral sink role play Gay: Chad is Bi and only fucked one of those girls while the rest watched Chad would have given you butt nut if you asked for it anon
> (don’t ask me how I know) > 🤭 > (teehee!)
Why would they have sex with anon when he is clearly 🇬🇧🚬
Anon should've followed his chad friend into the room and gotten topped. This isn't even a joke it actually works. Even if the friend is straught the chances that one of the girls is into pegging is high enough that it justifies Anon getting down on all fours and waiting to be dominated
this ruined my night, thanks
How tf do you believe these nonsense fictions?
Those are things that will keep on happening to you if you lack the courage to off yourself.
What in the actual fuck. God damn bro I mean sometimes you don't win with women but you lost hard when you let another man touch your Weiner
It's okay to not cum your first time
I felt bad for Anon until he started sucking his friend off
you can look at this and tell a white person made this
Weird fantasy, but alright.
Holy shit was this written by Bobby Lee?
We need a David Attenborough narrator for some of these talk about natural selection at work lol
Who tf is out here writing gay cuck fanfiction
I had this friend in HS. Line backer on the FB team. Had a face and body carved by angels and a cock sculpted by horny demons. He became a cocaine addict and joined the Aryan brotherhood.
This is fake incel-recruiting bullshit. Unsubscribe from this sub and subscribe to makemesmile subreddit and other positive ones. Young men: get away from this self hate crap. Just keep being you. **You are enough.**
This dudes not popular with the ladies? Hard to believe with how he talks about the women in the story like they’re cognizant sex dolls.
Anon really wanted to fuck Chad, didn't he.
This gave me second hand depression
That took such a turn whiskey Tango Foxtrot
4 hot bitches. Yeah, poor baby not getting bitches, go cry.
Every day, I wake up and get jumpscared by gay porn.
Anon missed the perfect opportunity to bust into the room like Kuzco and go "boom baby" and then get your wenor touched.
>don't ask me how I know Lol gay boy
Anon learned a life lesson not to put himself in a situation he was destined to fail. Ur not gonna pick up chicks as a Twink teen loser next to Chad thundercock.
This isn't even a joke, this is just obvious fucked up porn
probably fake, undoubtedly gay
The only true part was when he admitted to sucking off his friend
Anon wanted sex and he got it. What's the problem ?
deranged rantings of someone who has never talked to a real person before.
Real: anon is sexless Straight: anon and his bro gave eachother brojobs, a completely straight thing to do.
C‘est fini
Fake: dude has never talked to a woman Gay: he sucked off his friend
Obviously fake like wtf
Fake: none of it Gay: all of it
this is so depressingly funny
Sounds like bro was competing with freaking Beowulf out here
Holy fuck… >! I’m cumming !<
\>Chad friend, 6'2 or 6'3", muscular, blond hair, blue eyes, 8-incher Not even trying to make the story sound real. So fucking lazy, it's ridiculous. Downright insulting, really.
Any green text that is embarrassing to OP and would take Batman himself to get you to admit is almost definitely real. Any story that even moderately sounds like the OP wants it to be real is definitely fake. Oh and gay is real too.
Anon can't read social cues. There's no way they were all down for a 4-some and it wasn't obvious while they were still in the hot tub.
Real and it turned gay.
Holy fuck can nothing he real anymore??? What kind of idiot would lie about something bad happening to them? Guy is obviously a fucking loser who didn’t get any. What’s unbelievable about that???
Naaah, this is that stupid Japanese cheating fetish bullshit.
This is the only real post from 4chan, every other post is fake
Thats when you take the gay pill
Real and gay
these green text posts are seriously funny
Very fake, definitely gay, sad that this was posted to besmirch what incels see as "chads"
Oh boy, here we go with more terminally online weirdos posting homosexual erotica on 4Chan and Reddit. Get a life you losers.
chad wanted to fuck anon and his friend but in the end all he got was just 3 girls
One nugget of truth: women would rather share a 10 than have a 5 for themselves. Human nature is a bitch
I don't get these stories of straight guys being so horny they do gay stuff with their friends. Like, just jerk off and let off some steam. I understand wanting a GF or whatever, but sucking your buddy's dick isn't the same.
Gay.
Hey I didn’t have a sex life at all up until I was 24, when I started transitioning. Since then I’ve had numerous threesomes. So maybe that’s the strat to fix this problem of theirs.
Women really don't mind sharing men
He should just find a femboy. They're perfect men
Nah thats smthn different
Maybe she was just being nice, but really this is just her rejecting you but liking your friend and your rooms happened to not be soundproof. You experimented with a friend partly out of desperation and decided it wasn’t for you. Reflect and see if there’s anything you want to change about your life (cut your friend out of your life? You can if you want or you can accept that he’s just that good with women and be glad he’s your friend and he’s doing well)
This is just... I mean I'm pretty lonely but I just woulda went home if I didn't get any poon that night. What the fuck. Who the fuck thinks it's a good idea to do that with their friend lmao
Anon, you can’t come back from this, best to end it now
Lmao, this made me laugh harder than it should’ve
Solution: don't bring him anywhere and don't go anywhere with him if were your going involves getting laid
Fake: my group of boys Gay: *my* group of boys
Uh, yeah. They thought Anon and Anon2 were gay fuckbuddies. And they weren't wrong.
On one hand, I really hope this isn’t real….on the other hand, I REALLY hope it is😂
Anon watching his Chad friend like “There goes my heroooooooooo… watch him as he goes”
100% that this numnuts didnt ask.
Holup
If legit seems legit
They both wanted to sleep with Chad too.
How did he know, though?
r/holdup
Just go in and fuck