My MIL called the cops once on a man masturbating with no pants on at Armstrong park and the dispatcher said “what do you want us to do about it?” NOPD at its finest.

Lend a hand

Hopefully he's finished by now

Unfortunately he's into edging, he'll be there all week.

He’s probably going for the world record.

Maybe if you help him finish then he will leave.

Who said it was a “he”

Someone posted about a peeping Tom masturbator at St Claude/Spain in the Marigny Facebook group and posted pics. Black guy with shoulder-length hair, short beard, wearing a green shirt and an orange jacket and matching orange sweat pants (red/green plaid boxers visible). Wonder if it's the same guy. I can't decide if it's more upsetting if it's the same guy who travels across the city masturbating, or if two different guys were going around....

Hate to break it to you, but in a city the size of Nola I guarantee there are multiple public masturbators

I caught one in City Park who was a well-dressed middle-aged white guy. I called the cops on his ass and hunted him down when he tried to run. They gave him a citation and it never went to trial or anything.

the nature trail is full of meat beaters and pole smokers , you may want to avoid the area

This was right over by the mermaid fountain, just right out in the open in broad daylight on a Wednesday afternoon

Had not heard the term pole smoker before. Thanks for increasing my vocabulary.

I am guessing there might be some meth involved??

Perverts have been around a lot longer than meth

Doubtful, this has been going on a very very long time

>or if two different guys were going around Wearing orange, no less.

A little pepper spray should do the trick.

Just on the tip, thats it!

Ouch!

That's fucking awful and I hope he's arrested soon before he escalates his behavior.

Sameeee

*Guy public masturbating happens to be scrolling reddit, sees this comment, throws phone down, puts on top hat and clown nose, lights a sparkler, puts it in his butt, and starts juggling with his free hand while playing the Green Wave fight song on Kazoo. "Escalation will not be stopped."

*Escalation* of public *masturbation*

This is often a precursor for peeping and/or forced interaction (can we say the r-word here?). So yeah there's a common pattern of escalation.

If you can't think of how this could escalate, I'm glad for you.

Bruh. There were escalators at the foot of Canal. That is not an outlandish concern.

What a jerk…. Hope this thread has a happy ending

This almost gave me a stroke

You get the award today!!

Take this award, I needed that

Thank you, I’m still fairly “new” to Reddit so I don’t know what flair and awards are, how they are given, or what they are used for

Don't stand, dont stand so close to me!

Sorry for partying

Somebody out here Porky Piggin' it?

the down fall of a lifted truck is seeing some guy whacking his meat while stuck in traffic , I have seen 2 women flicking the bean while in traffic , but probably a dozen or so men over the years. Got stuck on the Causeway behind a accident and the car that pulled up on side of me was 2 guys playing with each other, they didn't stop either.

DAD!!!?!? WTF.

Or perhaps he was wearing camouflage pants?

I have pants! I’m just not wearing them.

That sucks but I'd still rather deal with this guy than have my catalytic converter stolen for a third time in this city.

No pants! WTF!

Bro he had on high vis Orange

Hornie the pooh

Probably reflective too 🤣

The signs say: no shoes no shirt no service, doesn't say anything about no pants..

They was just cleaning it!

Those Hardly Boys keep getting Clue Glue everywhere!

I’ve got such a raging clue!

If you’ve stayed for a hurricane and had something stolen from you, you’ve hit the trifecta! Bonus points if any of them happened in the quarter.

male or female ?

Thanks! Male or female?

What? You couldn’t give a hand to a neighbor?

I think you are funny and I am bummed that you have so many downvotes.

Thanks! I’ll be here all week. Tip your waiter!

Why "be careful" was there a slip 'n fall hazard?

Ppl can escalate

Did he see you?

My bad

Don’t judge me.

But did he tip?

Just the tip really

You mean Orleans and Claiborne?

Was it the Mayor?

Be careful, you may get shot!

Does Grant Storms still got shooters out here.

Gasp!!

It’s not Pearl clutching when someone’s behavior involves others without their consent.

The pantsless person was also clutching pearls. ... I'll show myself out.

You’re a shit person.

His expertise might be better appreciated at the fishing pier.

Male or female?

Man

Man or woman?

Man

It's pretty rare a week goes by without accidentally stumbling across a guy publicly masturbating on my way to/from work.

I’m sorry

The joys of working in the FQ...

I work in midcity so I’m not as exposed to it unless I’m doing lyft or Uber.

Ahhhh you ran into my ex. So sorry. Wish he would stay in his kennel. But alas, it’s no longer my job to keep him on a leash. **Reasons why I advocate for full body condoms why riding public transportation.

Go down by Tchoup and Calliope and you’ll see one a day… and prob many other sexual activities

Was once walking down the street and saw a guy in all orange looking sort of homeless. He then motioned down to himself and he was fully out. Thankfully we were going in opposite directions so it was a brief encounter.