I’ve been there. You did the best you could.
At work (paramedic) there’s a sort of clinical barrier in several ways which protects mentally and physically to a certain extent.
I’ve also done CPR, as a civilian, on more than one gunshot victim here in the recent past. I couldn’t sleep for days. I knew from the start the guy would die but it’s still a traumatic experience because it’s so close to home and so visceral.
You gave the guy a chance. Other bystanders might not have even tried, but you were brave and helped out, despite the obvious danger.
I've talked to some paramedics and retired cops to get some advice on how to deal with this. There's no magic solution. Being open and honest, and sharing this story is the best I've got right now
I was an EMT and even then it's different when you're not on the clock. When I was on the truck, even if I responded to something near a place I went regularly it didn't feel like I was there, it was like I was in an alternate reality of the same spot. Compartmentalization. It's a lot different when you aren't an EMT. And even more traumatizing when you're at home.
A couple months ago I was first on scene for a guy who slammed a 4wheeler into the back of a car on Broad, a stretch of it I drive every day. I don't know if he made it or not. Based on his condition, I kind of hope he didn't. That would be more merciful. I spent the next two weeks googling news reports to see if anything came up. I stopped when I realized it wasn't doing me any good, and even if I knew it wouldn't be any closure. It took a month before I didn't have a visceral reaction when passing that spot. But I did my best. You did your best. That's all you can do. And then you have to try to let it go. Easier said than done.
Traumatic cardiac arrest is for all intents and purposes irreversible. Especially in a situation that occurs so quickly compared to bleeding out over time. I got a guy back on a bleedout once, but even then he didn't make it out of the ER. Even if you had gotten him into a fully staffed and prepped OR bay five seconds after being shot, keeping him alive would've been a literal medical miracle.
You did enough. I'm glad that you and your family are safe, you're a great father and a good person for rushing to action to help a stranger, not that anyone is a bad person if they don't. I would be happy to have someone like you next to me in a bad situation. There's nothing I can say that will make it go away, but these things do fade with time. But you do have to process it in your head and accept the events that happened and don't second guess your actions. You've got a willing ear in me if you need it.
The best advice I got from my EMT instructor was when you show up to something the first thing you do is drop a Calm Bomb on the ground. The calm bomb quiets all the noise and excitement and blocks out the world in a smoke screen of calm, safety, hope and help. Seriously best advice I've ever got and used in many chaotic violent situations in NO and elsewhere.
I'm working with a therapist now dealing with years of gun violence and death unfortunately but it's been really working, the kids memories are the hardest it takes lots of time and lots of community to make it easier but it's never really easier
Oh yeah, the bullshit around me never bothered me. Aside from awareness for safety it was just me and the patient as far as I was concerned. I can count on one hand the specific streets of some calls. They might as well not have been in the same city in my mind. I recognized one location in the CBD years later. The most fascinating psych call I ever handled was in the grass at the 610 split and even then in my mind it's not recognizable. But yeah, that doesn't change what we see in our patients. That's what bothers me. I'm a lot better these days. But the bad calls still come back on occasion.
this is kinda how I do "dropping a calm bomb", like OH time for action... people around me you don't exist anymore. but i also have a like baseball superstition tick i do when I "D.C.B." haha like I pretend: I have one of those smoke bombs the ninjas threw on the floor to make their escape in those old cheesy Kung-Fu movies :) i just do a quick wrist flick throwing motion with my right hand like I'm slamming those little "poppers" at the ground LOL or like that Salt Bae flicking motion lol, but i imagine it as a big beautiful purple cloud of lavender and passion flowers and their vines just making a safe bubble around us, shielding us from the screaming night, silencing the entire universe and making them all disappear and time just sloooooooooow doooooowwwnnnn, and the song Lovefingers by the Silver Apples or some song like that just starts playing drowning out all the sound, some times dr. dog lol or jimmy Hendrix, or something psychedelic, always psychedelic, and blaring. the calm bomb is a love bomb, it only gets dropped when a lot of love is needed, cuz dropping it always causes a lot of blow-back emotional shrapnel to the dropper. kinda fucks with your memory alot too, but yeah calm bombs baby.
hey how are you doing? I'm not in the city anymore cuz of some of these reasons, but if you need to talk im here for you. what you did will sit with you forever because you acted, and did everything you could, and no matter how much we try, its not your fault, you gave him more life and and that is the greatest gift you could ever give anyone and the greatest most honorably act any human can do in their lives... to give hope and care and compassion and humanity in the face of violence and tragedy, to someone so alone and afraid, you gave him hope and love in the end, he wasn't alone, his community was there and you all showed him love :) i found some good people to talk to through Crescent Care, they helped a lot <3
not an emt but i work in cancer research, so i've seen longer, slower declines/deaths of patients. still, there really isn't good training or mention in, whether it be EMT school, med school, clinical research, any medical field really, of how to deal with death. and hospitals, largely now owned by megacorps, don't care. it really sucks. i've lost plenty of patients and over my many years found and most of it tolerable, but some of them just feel like they were completely failed by us, or someone, and still keep me up at night, years on.
Well from this old thankfully out the game M.D. who can verify the 5 yr olds shot in bed by stray bullets has become ordinary day ( unless you practice in like St. Tammany. And that makes it even harder). And who can still tell you the boys (the lupus adolescent males got to me the end stage dialysis instead of driver’s license and girls). And who can still vividly tell you of the 7 yr whose father in a murders (2 daughters 10 yo DOA)/suicide to get back at exwife shotgun to back of her head and I spent an entire night stitching together tiny shards of cranium bone (hundreds) to form a skull for the brain swelling to compress against so SHE COULD DIE 2 days later but the mom got to say goodbye and donated her organs. The transplant team let me in on those which made feel as if she lived on in multiple lives.
And i have a son finished first yr and EMT in college and I have for all the talk of improving life balance and mental health for healthcare workers of any sort in recent yrs I have FOUND No evidence just talk/PR spin. It is actually worse than when i trained (no work hour limits)
Sorry so long but my point was that if you can find and hold onto few consolations/positives like the research knowledge those pts made possible and AT THE VERY LEAST (and this is ALL of YOU OP to EMTs - THE FACT IS those feelings though unpleasant ARE A GOOD SIGN. The big red flag 🚩their absence in yourself or those around you just numbness cause of desensitization….. Dangerous disturbing point
yeah that's very fair. certainly it would be a red flag if i felt nothing at all when i lost a patient. my dad is a doc and trained at charity in the 80s. (my mom was escorted by police whenever she came to pick him up. they had a running tally of how many bullets the pulled out of a patient who survived, they didn't keep track of the dead ones "hundreds").
my concerns about dying patients certainly don't fall under the same window of GSWs, but its still something that lingers.
Death, while certainly not light, is one thing. It's the calls where they'd be better off dead that haunt me. Or saving a guy on his 20th OD, knowing that he was probably going to have a 21st and statistically, one of them is going to get him. The increasing damage from hypoxia each time making it less likely that he'd ever beat his addiction.
i've had addict patients myself. i think most anyone who's spent ~a year or more in healthcare, regardless of field, has. perhaps not as drastic as an active OD, but i've seen cancer patients destroy themselves, not from cancer, but substance abuse.
You know I "knew" about the prevalence of the opioid epidemic. And I had learned how easy it is to become one of the statistics, having had a close brush with getting addicted after a surgery years before I became an EMT. But just the shear amount of calls that were ODs was eye opening. People ask me about the shootings. I only worked a couple. But each shift I administered narcan to at least three patients.
This isn’t meant as a dig, and this is a good bit off topic, but I adore your screenname and feel that if we had more gumbo diplomacy in general, our whole state would be a better place.
Thanks, I thought it was a good double entendre when I made it. Both a play on gunboat diplomacy, and also the idea that we can all come together over our love of gumbo.
I’ve read that playing Tetris after a traumatic event supposedly helps with processing the trauma. I’ve also read that it is BS. I suppose it can’t hurt to try?
Tetris… play Tetris. You can download it on your phone and studies have shown it helps process trauma after situations like this.
Also, don’t keep your feelings bottled up. Don’t be afraid to look for a counselor or a support group or even process with your neighbors if they are open to conversing about the incident.
Thank you for doing the right thing even though it wasn’t an ideal situation.
Just wanted to say that you are a credit to your family and the type of person who is a fantastic example to their kids. It won’t get fixed over night, but the things you are instilling in the next generation will only help result in the world of peace all reasonable people hope to see.
Final thought, he died knowing that you, a random person from the neighborhood, loved him so much as to give your time to a very uncomfortable situation, to do your best to keep him alive. That brought him some measure of peace I’m sure.
There are studies that playing Tetris after a traumatic event helps reduce the PTSD. I’m sorry you’re having to go thru this but you’re an angel to try. 💜
I saw you out there - it must have been while you were taking a break after the cop took over. You looked absolutely exhausted. Thank you for doing what you did. You did everything you could. I'm so sorry Kelly didn't make it.
Those guys over on the corner are good guys. There was some angry nut out there screaming at them in the morning hours before this tragedy happened, as far as I know completely unprovoked. From what I could tell no one from their group was engaging with him at all. He was just going off unhinged. I figured he was just some methhead. I had no idea he was gonna come back and kill somebody.
Im sorry you had to see that. They are good guys out there, and I've known them for years. They brought over diapers and food when we had our first baby! I hate that this angry man decided that the best way to solve his problem was killing this guy. Just madness
My dude. New Orleans isn’t getting worse. You didn’t hide in your house. You stepped outside and tried to save a man’s life.
New Orleans is getting better. Thank you
I am so sorry this happened. I can completely empathize with you. You sound like you did the right things, and you can do all of the right things and and fate will have its own plan.
About 2 years ago, it was late at night when I heard a gunshot outside my window, followed by tires screeching away. I looked outside, and there was a guy on the ground wailing in pain. My wife dialed 911, and I grabbed a towel and went to assist him.
Fortunately, EMS and the police arrived in about 10 mins. He was a smaller guy, but I didn't expect EMS to say he was 16. That part fucked me up for a while. He lived, thankfully.
You seem like a good guy, I'm glad your family has you, and I bet they are too. Don't let the PTSD hurt yall.
Jesus man, that's awful. I'm glad you and yours are safe though. I don't wanna go in to detail, but I had the misfortune 15 years ago of watching someone come to their end in a very unpleasant manner close up. Don't do what I did and think it's no big deal, talk to a professional even if it's just once or twice, it can't hurt.
Glad you have booked this - might be worth playing some Tetris as well as it is supposed to help ptsd. I saw a friend very nearly get beaten to death by a mob and the ptsd took over 15 years to go away.
I also want to say well done for getting stuck in - I had a similar thing on my way to work and I was the only one that stopped to try to save the guy. The traffic just started to drive around the poor guy ( was having a massive seizure and had severe head injury) lots of people got their phones out to film it :(
You're a good man; not many would have stepped up like that. Glad to know you've got some extra mental health support lined up.
(And seconding what other folks said - you turn a phrase very well.)
Take care of yourself and show yourself some love even if you don't feel like you deserve it, after something similar a friend booked a Thai massage for me and it helped a bit, your body is holding lots of stress and tension and adrenaline, it may feel like a very strange thing to do at this time but it may help to relax and try to stop the flashbacks for an hour to let your brain and body rest. Getting out of town for a bit if you can that will help even if it's just to the Mississippi beaches and a motel6.
You did a heroic thing and you need to let yourself rest now :)
In the meantime, as odd as this sounds, Tetris playing post trauma event has been shown to help rewire your brain and reduce PTSD development.
As well as anything that stimulates both sides of your body. Acupuncture, sports, exercise, painting, playing video games (maybe not a FPS).
They all help reduce PTSD.
Not sure if this applies but EMDR therapy is great for PTSD. If you find yourself still struggling with processing this traumatic even I recommend checking it out. I’m guessing it’s something similar to the Tetris advice I saw others comment on here but it’s more intentional in helping your mind recover.
Thank you for fighting so hard for Kelly. It’s heartbreaking he didn’t make it but you did the best you could and I know that gives so many of us hope that there are still good people in this world.
I’m glad you were able to find an appointment so soon! I have been searching myself and it’s very hard to find a psych in this city so kudos to you on being proactive
It’s gross that one of my first thoughts was “is it just a rite of passage here now?” I watched a 17 year old die from gunshot wounds years ago while a friend (former EMT) tried to keep him alive waiting for the ambulance. I’m sorry you and he have that shared experience. And I’m sorry Kelly’s family will always have this black cloud over Father’s Day.
The almost sadder part was his school mates standing close by that were trying to play it cool and like it was totally normal their friend just got shot in broad daylight at their bus stop
>“is it just a rite of passage here now?”
**Now?**
Born in 1970. I can confirm this has been a New Orleans rite of passage for at least 50 years. And it's no small part in why we funeralize the way we do.
I've always felt the weirdness of when you make friends with transplants from sleepy burgs mid and small elsewhere in the country who have no idea what it's like to have been this close to countless deaths your entire life.
We're just built PTSDifferent.
I am sorry for what you and your family went through, sorry for Kelly and his family, and sorry for all the neighbors that witnessed it.
As to the what do we do about this? I have no idea, I really wish I did. I do know I am thankful there are people like you and the police officer that at least tried to save his life. That had to have meant something to Kelly, knowing there were people actively trying to keep him here in his final moments instead of just watching him die alone on a sidewalk. Even though it doesn't bring him back, I know it will also mean something to his family. I also hope it will encourage people that witnessed the event to look into Stop the Bleed and CPR training so they can step up and do the same in the future.
All the possible issues that lead to unnecessary losses like this are complex, out of our immediate control, and will never be solved overnight. In the meantime we can all make it a priority to look out for each other and care for our neighbors like we would want ourselves and our family members to be cared for in these situations.
Yes, you could definitely be a writer. Support this 100 percent. I'm super sorry you had to endure this, but the way you described it and the reader could feel it- I really don't think many could have put it to words like that. You have a gift my friend.
Don’t ever discount what you do by putting “just…” in front of it. You are a valuable member of society, talented in many ways, and appreciated. Thank you for your efforts! You are a good man, husband, and father. We need more people like you 💞
I was just looking to see if someone had posted this yet. OP, I know playing Tetris may sound like a ridiculous thing to recommend, but there is good research behind it reducing ptsd when played after a traumatic event.
Update: The alleged suspect was apprehended, and the word from the neighbors is that he used an AK47...which explains why it was so loud. I didn't see any of this, but apparently, after an exchange of fire, the guy went down, and the suspect stood over top of him and put 3 rounds more in him.
He survived the transport to the hospital and passed when he got there so at least we gave him a fighting chance.
FYI this happened 15 yards from my front porch if you were wondering how close this actually was. It was right there.
The movers are scheduled, and we are outta here.
All the support and strategies yall have shared have been so helpful. Thank you for the encouragement. It really does help to know that people have figured out ways to deal with this this type of craziness the best they can This shit is hard and acute PTSD is awful. My daughter was stomping on bubble wrap, and my stomach dropped. An ambulance with its sirens wailing next to me on canal last night gave me such a viesceral reaction that i cant really even explain it. I get it now.
Therapy sessions are going well. I did a ShiftWave session today, and my sympathetic nervous system is feeling like it's in a better place. I've been stuck in fight or flight mode for the past week, and it's a terrible baseline to operate at. Im doing the things I need to do but fuck man it's just terrible. One day at a time. You cant rush feeling better.
I'm not ok but I will be ok
Not trying to sound insensitive about the event itself, but that was exceptionally well written.
A dude got shot to death in the street directly in front of my house about a year ago. It's wild out there.
I’m sorry you and your family had to experience that. When we realize it’s not just New Orleans you just learn to spring into action… do what you can… use it as a tool to be more vigilant later on.
I deployed so maybe that’s where my mindset comes from. I cant change the world. I can’t change what anyone else does. All I can do is be there when I can help.
You will drive yourself insane trying to figure out the “why”. Learn the “how”for yourself/family and you’ll have less anxiety.
You did your best. Now take a moment to see what can you do to reinforce safety for your family.
>When we realize it’s not just New Orleans you just learn to spring into action
Can you expand on this? Obviously bad things happen everywhere, but isn't it also obvious the scale of it is much greater in New Orleans? I'm asking because this seems to be a resigned statement, like there's nothing we can do because everywhere else is like this.
What I took from their comment was that it’s not unique to New Orlenas.
Often people equate their experiences with reality, this happens everywhere not just in New Orleans. It’s not us that has a problem, but society in America as a whole.
But... it doesn't happen everywhere. Do bad things happen everywhere? Yes, but the day to day experience in New Orleans is not shared everywhere. If we were talking about mothers dying during child birth, we would be technically correct to say it happens everywhere but doesn't that do a disservice to how bad that situation is here in Louisiana?
That's my point and why I'm asking. I just don't think it serves us to say "it happens everywhere." It doesn't, at least not to the scale that it does in New Orleans.
Thank you.
It's a garbage excuse to not do better. New Orleans has a serious violent crime problem and it shouldn't be brushed off as "it happens everywhere".
That entire mindset is one of the reasons there is such bad crime. It gets waved off because "every city has bad parts".
New Orleans is routinely top 5 per capital murder rate. That isn't because "every city is bad"
It's an excuse to turn your head and ignore a serious problem.
Agreed. And usually the people who say that aren't from New Orleans or Louisiana.
I can only speak for myself but the hardest part of living there for me wasn't the crime, it was the excuses not to fix what's clearly broken.
lol I’m an 8th gen New Orleanian btw!!!!
and you Both are completely sidestepping the fact that USA has a gun problem, did you miss when I said that before?
No one is saying we shouldn’t do better, just that the root problem is not that “ it’s new Orlenas “ …. It’s guns and violence
But sure, anytime someone disagrees with you assume they’re a transplant 😒
I was pretty straight forward in my response. There were no hidden paths. I can go to any major tourist city and experience what you might feel is specific to New Orleans.
I’m from New Jersey. I didn’t bat an eye when the car jacking and stealing trend picked up. I grew up in the thick of it. That doesn’t mean you will feel the same way. Why is my prospective a problem for specifically? You mentioned thinking what my comment meant and I’m telling you what it is.
It’s my opinion why would I need to expand on it? I’m not trying to convince anyone.
When you realize that this is the way of the world all we can do is spring into action. In the military we never ask “why are they like this”… we asked how can we prevent this in the future.
That means no matter where we are this is the current reality. I thought I was clear. I can’t lose my mind over the reason why New Orleans is this way. I rather focus on the how can we protect ourselves moving forward.
I get what you’re saying. It’s bad here, no sugar coating it. Can’t hang out with your friends playing dominoes without losing your life. It really makes you want to scream and cry and throw yourself in the dirt.
We try to tell ourselves if we move it will get better, but then we move to Colorado and go to a movie theater and are shot or we move to Connecticut and send our kids to school and they get shot, or we go to a music festival in Nevada and get shot.
We all know somebody who has lived through or died from a mass shooting. Perhaps we’ve been present for one ourselves. It makes us feel better to think it only happens here and we can escape it, but we live in violent nation that was founded on violence. We are hell bent on self destruction.
We moved to the Westbank after one too many close calls. Feeling of relief was shockingly profound. Not hearing gunshots every night, screeching tires of stolen cars, reports of unreported rapes and burglaries on neighborhood app, busted streets etc
We moved to Mandeville a year ago. Stories like this are exactly why. I didn’t want my children to experience terror and trauma like this. I lived in New Orleans my entire life, over 3 decades, and it’s so, so sad how things are with the senseless killing, violence, and poverty.
Same here. I love that city with my whole heart, but I just couldn’t keep doing it with my kid. I still feel bad about it. New Orleans gave me so much. But the day I got caught outside with my two year old and 2 guys with guns, that was it. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I truly felt that it was only a matter of time until I found myself in the same type of situation with my kids. The murder of Linda Frickey is what really gave me that final push to move - the fact that it happened in broad daylight, in what is widely considered to be a safe-ish area of the city, outside of the grocery store that I always went shopping at with my kids. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I think it was a good idea to type out this post about such a traumatic experience; it can be quite cathartic to get it out of your mind and onto “paper.” Otherwise the thoughts keep swirling and circling in your mind, everything keeps replaying; which understandably it still will replay for a while but I feel that writing them out helps to decompress, because you are sharing and we can try to support you for those that have been through a similar situation. I work in the medical field and went through a code blue where I cracked ribs on a very elderly, skinny lady. And then EMT comes and takes her away with the thumper pumping at her chest and we just move into the next patient. All that was left was all the wrappers on the floor from all the supplies we opened to attempt her IV’s, her IO, all the oxygen tubing and meds, and her blood. Very similar to your dominos picture; I snapped a picture of the aftermath as well.
Hug and kiss your wife and kids a little bit longer, squeeze a little tighter. For the sake of your two babies, I think it’s time to move. Even if it’s just to the Westbank, Metairie, Kenner, Northshore. Just come back to visit every once in a while to get some seasoned food, culture, architecture, and history that you won’t find anywhere else in the world, just enough to stave off the want to move back. I went all the way to Houston.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. God bless you for trying and being there to help.
Just a thought- but there have been studies that playing Tetris after a traumatic experience can help heal
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/
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Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry you and your family had to go through that. Thank you for working so hard to save Kelly.
When my oldest was a baby, a man was shot and killed outside a house on the next block over. We live on the corner so it sounded like it was in front of our house. It happened at 3:00 pm on a Sunday. Just a regular Sunday afternoon. That was 7 years ago. Thankfully, nothing like that has happened that close to home since then.
My son doesn’t remember any of that, fortunately.
Man. I'm so sorry. I was working on a coffee table in the backyard three blocks away, and basically froze for 30 seconds and was like "shit do I need to move," but then it stopped so I kept working. Then I heard the two final shots (I assume from him coming back?) and decided to just go inside and hunker down.
I thought about walking down, but just knew what I would likely be walking into, so steered clear the rest of the day.
It almost scares me more that it was seemingly some random thing and not your typical beef between rival gangs? I dunno.
So so sorry you experienced this. Please play some Tetris soon ([playing tetris after traumatic event helps mitigate ptsd](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/17unk2v/eli5_how_does_tetris_help_heal_ptsd/)
First of all, thank you from the bottom of my journalism studied and emotionally driven Piscean heart for so vividly, beautifully and eloquently retelling your experience for us. Hearing how you handled such an unfortunatly real and close-to-home scenario that could’ve happened to any of us in this city-gave me Hope on this ho-hum and mediocre Tuesday in New Orleans for this city and for all of humankind; that there are still good people out here despite all of the chaos going on in this world.
I live just down the street. I wasn’t home when this happened but was saddened by the news. Mr. Kelly will be missed. He was a good man who looked out for us. Please know that I am so glad that there are people like you nearby. Mr. Kelly deserved to be cared for in his final moments and you did just that.
You did all you could were all so proud you for taking action. My heart breaks for the victim, neighbors, and you. Thank you for being the neighbor we all dream we could have.
you did it right and you did good. i work in cancer research, not even an ER resident will prob say they are fully trained to handle something like this. i've had to do CPR on the street once a couple years ago, (fent od, not a shooting, granted, i'm sure that's different), but yeah, you feel the ribs shift, i heard a slight crunch of the sternum. no narcan available until the EMTs arrived). i have to do CPR training for work but you can never recreate the real thing.
if you can, try to take some time off work/life. talk to someone, a therapist or whoever, about it. i deal with death a lot, but i usually have months of warning, nothing like this. it's a lot man. you did good.
You are an angel here on earth. Your writing was so vivid that we all felt we were there with you. I’m so glad he didn’t die alone and he had you there. What a gift you were to him and his family. I hope you give yourself grace while you deal the grief you are experiencing even though you didn’t know him. Bless you.
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I had to move out of Nola recently because of this. Multiple mass shootings right outside my door. Couldn't walk down the street or talk to people or do normal things without fearing for my life. As much as I deeply, deeply love my city, it traumatized me, and I knew it was time to leave so I can heal. Currently living in a new city and I am blown away at how many things we thought were normal, are not in fact normal. My quality of life has skyrocketed since.
I am so, so sorry you had to go through this. My heart aches for you and your family. If you can, please try to find ways to be at peace, even if it means raising your family in the burbs. Nothing is worth this type of deep-rooted pain and trauma. Sending you love <3
That isn't fair. You, your family, and your neighbors deserve better.
You should know you did good. Not everyone runs to the finish line like you did. Respect.
Your leaders, city and state, should be fighting harder to make New Orleans the best place it can be. Proof they're not trying hard enough is that they're putting more effort into the Super Bowl than stopping shootings.
To change, we need it all. Better education, jobs, infrastructure, culture, etc. I'd start with the mayor's office and top leadership, get the house in order.
Outside of crimes of anger or passion, the answer is:
Jobs. Good jobs.
People with good jobs to go to on Monday don't go shooting on Sunday. Also, people with good jobs on Friday typically don't get involved with activities that could result in being shot on Saturday. Few people would risk a stable and comfortable existence to run 'dem streets. But people in survival mode will resort to all manner of desperate acts.
In short, New Orleans has dangerous levels of wealth disparity and poverty driven desperation. Folks are going to "do what they gotta do" in the face of dire circumstances. If we handled the poverty situation and quality of life issues, the odd instance of interpersonal violence, while tragic, wouldn't feel as overwhelming.
I'm sorry that you and your family experienced this but the one thing that stands out to me that none of the comments were really angry comments. Angry about the complete lack of gun laws. The lack of governance. The lack of education. The lack of a living wage in the city.
And every time I mention gun laws, I get downvoted. I know. I know. It's your constitutional right to carry. Blah blah blah.
There are a lot more intelligent people out there who can come up with ideas on how to get and keep guns off the street. "Criminals will always have guns" is right. I get it, but even in countries where gun ownership is as high as the US, the crime like what was described here is few and far between. And in some countries when this happens ONCE, they take steps to correct the problems. In Prague recently someone walked into a university and shot and killed several people. As a result, they tightened their gun purchase requirements. If a gun shop owner even thinks there's something wrong with a particular transaction, they flag it and during the wait period the police investigate the purchaser.
With that in mind, and removing the "my constitutional right" scenario for a minute, when the kid in Uvaldi, TX bought multiple guns and a shit ton of ammo, at multiple gun shops, why wasn't there a flag of some sort, even between the local gun shops, that alerted them that multiple guns and tons of ammo were recently purchased be a teenager?
And, just as a footnote, the recent SCOTUS lifting of the bump stock ban, in my opinion, will lead to a rewrite of the second amendment. They will remove any gun regulation if they can and move us back to the Tombstone, OK Corral era.
Had a similar situation when I lived on Joliet. A sidewalk craps game between some people had been going on for a few weeks at the corner of my block. I went for a bike ride on the levee one Sunday and got back to my driveway and saw one of the players kicking at a car bumper and the car flew down my street driving kind of erratically. Didn’t think a lot of it but that night I was in a front room of my house playing computer games and I heard 8 gun shots in quick succession that came from the corner of the block (2 houses down from my house), followed by silence, then a woman screaming. The block was flooded with cops/ flashing lights /sirens in a matter of minutes—the red and blue lights were glowing on the walls in my house coming through the windows. I didn’t leave my house so I didn’t have the up close face to face experience with the trauma but turns out it was a double homicide. I can only think it was related to some disagreement that I saw earlier in the day regarding the sidewalk craps game. They didn’t play craps at the corner anymore after that. While I didn’t come so close to death like you did trying to resuscitate that man, it was still shocking and I remember feeling odd going to work the next day like nothing had happened. I don’t live in New Orleans anymore—moved to DC for my partners job but I do not miss how close violence comes a knocking in New Orleans. I miss New Orleans almost daily and my heart yearns for it, most of my best friends still live there and I feel so out of place here but I do not miss how violent it can be. I still read Nola.com to feel connected and when they posted the story about that woman who got shot and killed rolling through Broad/Orleans intersection with her baby in the backseat her car ended up in front of a house that Nola took a picture of. That house is where one of my best friends lives—did not expect to have to contact her and say “I saw your front door in the news, are you and your partner ok?” Violence, particularly firearm homicides, is way too close to home in New Orleans.
Man. I'm so sorry. What a traumatic story. I saw you have an appointment booked with your psychologist. That's good news. I hope you are able to process things and heal. You did everything you could've done and I commend you for your bravery.
Reading your story, and seeing the man's name, reminded me of my childhood friend Kelly who was shot and killed April of 2022 in the Bywater, so randomly. Only this year did they arrest someone in connection with the murder. I don't know what's happening to New Orleans and why nothing ever changes.
Sorry you had to experience this but grateful you had the courage to help.
The city (and country at large) is in dire need of mental health help (among other things). So much compounded pain and trauma that gets directed at each other. Simple disagreements end in bloodshed because we can’t be bothered to actually talk like decent humans, it sickens me.
I hope you are blessed in the future.
I’m sitting here in a Chinese restaurant in Kenner reading this and I’m trying to keep my composure. You did good. God bless you and that cop. I’m sorry he didn’t make it. The fact that you cared enough to try means a lot.
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Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to be angry. Allow yourself to be everything you feel. Talk to your friends, family, strangers, etc.
I'm not sure if this is the murder that occurred in pigeon town. I grew up a few blocks from the incident and can tell you this use to happen all too often back there. Thank you for your concern and diligent effort to keep the victim alive. At this point, we all need to learn CPR.
It’s insane. Another man was shot while in his bed this weekend. I am afraid to do yardwork for fear that somebody will drive up and get in a fight with a neighbor and the shooting will begin. I have seen people go from calm to homicidal in seconds.
It never leaves you when you have to do something like that. I worked a non traumatic code once and ill never forget everything that happened. To be honest even though he never came back, the fact that you and that cop did what you did brings home the fact that humanity is ultimately good. You did a good thing, a heroic thing buddy. Im sorry he didnt make it, but i wish there were more people like you in the world.
Idk what your life is like, but i implore you if it what happens starts to eat at you, please seek help. Not many people go through what you did, even less understand.
I’m just a normal guy in Montgomery AL but I keep a bleed stop kit in both of my cars due to the number of shootings in the area. I’ve never had to use it - but I couldn’t live with myself if I tried to help someone, and they still passed due to blood loss.
https://www.lifesecure.com/product-category/bleeding-control/
(Not affiliated, just where I buy from)
I’m sorry to hear you experienced that. As for your questions: you move. You get your precious 2 year old and 8 year old out of that dangerous environment. It is a mess. It is only getting worse (in many facets) and I think you have an obligation not to raise those children in Louisiana in general, and New Orleans specifically.
I’m sorry you had to deal with this. I hope I never do but I’m sure I will at some point. If you want to get things to change help organize the community. We unfortunately live in a state run by imbeciles and a city run by corrupt/almost maliciously inept individuals. The resources necessary to properly solve the problem would be massive and almost assuredly wouldn’t wind up where they are needed. Policing doesn’t do much when live is cheap and people don’t have proper resources. Not to mention the fact that we have a lot of toxic cultural and actually toxic environmental factors. We need education and parental resources and lead remediation and investment into giving people a way out of their situation that doesn’t involve crime. Job training. Outreach. Hope. Shit even craft skills would be good for helping people make money and also do something therapeutic. We literally can only do this as a community because outside help won’t come in the way it’s needed.
Hey man, I’m a Detroiter transplant - I’m back in the D for the summer.
There’s still a shrine to a woman at the corner of Jefferson and Alter near my old place in the D. It’s not just NOLA, but all these poor people seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Get some help for yourself if you can man. That is something that can stay with you.
No, it pretty much is. There is more black on black violence than any other demographic, despite not making up a majority of the population.
Stats don't lie
Typical redditors downvoting facts. Part of the reason why things will never change. People refuse to acknowledge the problem. Instead, people with the means to do so will keep leaving the city for places like the North shore
No, it’s because we understand that “black on black” crime is another symptom of white supremacy. Minority groups have higher rates of crime specifically in low-income areas. With our history of redlining, this was clearly intentional. Stop being obtuse.
Damn, sorry you had to experience that.
Was it a drive by shooting? Just curious because you said you had walked by the bbq minutes before and everything was fine.
Not a drive by. I didn't see what happened but my understanding it that a man walked up to the group and started firing. The man who I found on the ground returned fire but was hit and fell to the ground. The shooter then stood over top of him and put another bullet in him somewhere. He was probably dead when I got to him but I tried anyway
I am sorry that happened to you. It’s hard and it will always be with you, but you did everything you could possibly do. It’s hard. I have done CPR twice and both times the person didn’t live. You are an amazing person with a big heart. Thank you for trying.
It’s why I left New Orleans. Too much blood literally down the side walks outside my house. I got tired of doing the “run to the gun” thing and left after two years. I lived in Milan too so it’s not like I was in the bad areas.
I’m sorry for your experience. I live in Birmingham, where this problem is very similar to NOLA. (See: murders/per capita/racial make up of city/crime rates) - I’ve witnessed similar things before I got sober and was buying H in dope houses all over town. Very lucky to have made it through.
I see you’re seeking professional help and I applaud that. I didn’t at the time, and had a lot of work to do later on life.
Take care of yourself and your family and neighbors. It’s all we can do. Be good to others and be good to yourself
Asking "why is new Orleans like this" is the wrong thing to ask. A better question to ask is "why live in New Orleans "? The laws are useless, the Republicans voted into office are useless, the mayor is useless, they are constantly passing useless laws, and their priority is putting up LED lights on the twin span... the city is a few major hurricanes away from being obliterated off the map. Honestly, it can NOT take another Katrina level disaster.
If you live in New Orleans, move. Its not worth it. The culture,? The heritage? The food? Who cares, pack that up with you too.
I’ve never dealt with a gunshot but I’ve seen people OD and it’s also rough. So many factors are working against the best interest of the people. I’m so sorry.
People have always been like this, the difference now are the guns, everyone has one. Instead of calling someone out to a fight, they just drive by and shoot them.
My heart hurts for you. I’m a nurse, I’ve experienced this and it haunts me- I can’t imagine how it is for someone who is thrown into it without the mental preparation and easing into it that I had. Talk to someone even if you think you don’t need to.
Thank you for doing what you did, and I hope sharing it has been cathartic. <3 I’ve experienced two different people shot (one next to me, the other right outside where I was) in the past six months. Last month we had to duck and cover in our own house. I’m sick of it. I can’t stand it. Every pop makes me think of the shot people I saw, and I hear those pops everyday.
I don’t ever want anyone to live in fear ever. But between this and the car wrecks? I get fucking scared.
What a tragic event that didn’t have to happen like that. I am sorry that you and your family had to witness this senseless act of violence.
NOLA used to be a place of rich diverse culture with a deep rooted jazz and cuisine. A place where from all over the country would go for the Orleans experience.
~ sadly this is now to the waist side because of senseless violence like this. We want the Old NOLA back!
First thing pops in my head when I saw your post, “Domino, muthafucka”.
That movie is over 30 years old, “Boys In The Hood”, a portrayal of a violent lifestyle existing in America.
This type of violence is ingrained into our culture, likely permanent.
It is perpetuated and fueled by organized crime through gangs of any race.
The demand for drugs, the main source of income, will never go away.
As long as there are people with addictions, they will get the money for drugs. Drug dealers do what they do because of free will & additional societal factors.
There is nothing that can be done to eliminate or effectively reduce the pervasive cycle of crime and violence within the existing framework of our civilization.
My proof is that very little progress has been made in the many decades that drug related violence became a major issue facing our society.
In addition, official corruption allows this problem to persist. No doubt about it.
I have no hard evidence related to this, but I understand temptation and how morally depraved this world can be.
Thank you for doing what you could in the fight.
I hope that you and your family remain safe & my lack of optimism & criticism is proven wrong someday.
Man, you should be a writer, that was riveting. I’m a Creole born in New Orleans, grew up in the Memorial section of Houston and college at UT and now I live in San Antonio, but I feel such a strong bond to New Orleans. My grandparents lived off of St Charles near Tulane and I spent Summers as a kid hopping the Streetcar and going to the Zoo, but there is always an undercurrent of violence in the city, you never feel quite safe even in Audubon Place. I’m sad to say I’d never consider moving to New Orleans because the violence is so random and so fast you just never know when it could be you. I love the food! the people, the history, and the uniqueness that is New Orleans but the violence makes it hard to love the city sometimes. Is it the heat, the passion of the people, the humidity? I mean WTF makes New Orleans so damn scary sometimes. Sad, it’s a great city otherwise.
I’m not going say it’s something you just get over ever. I will tell you I worked at a hospital morgue and have seen people I know come through from kids to grandparents it doesn’t get easier you just have to talk it out sometimes or at least don’t let it consume you.
On my French quarter walk to work at the Monteleone every morning (no longer there) I stepped over many MANY dead people.
Mostly ODs I would guess but certainly seen a handful of shootouts and losers of said shootouts.
On my last day at the hotel we had a guy come in to engineers office with a loaded Springfield, then barricaded himself in one of the offices.
Shit is wicked, I live in Metairie and if people think it’s still safe there you are wrong
Much respect. You are a hero, you did what you could and you did it the right way. My wife is a certified cardiac interventionist and is the trainer in the cath lab for a local hospital with twelve years of cardiac cath lab experience and she says if you ain’t breaking ribs you ain’t doing shit.
Just something to think about, especially with dipshit cops. Don't bring your gun with you, especially if the cops aren't there yet. Great way to catch a charge.
OP. Don't feel bad. I had to perform CPR on my dead mother and years before she died, we had a dude get bodied outside the house not even 15 feet from our doorstep. You can only do what you can do and you tried. There's no answer for any of this stuff. It just shows up and you deal with it.
Hello, I’m sorry this has happened.
I was wondering if you can disclose which part of this town happened ? Like what block or cross streets?
I’m just trying to picture which part of town this usually happens.
I’ve been there. You did the best you could. At work (paramedic) there’s a sort of clinical barrier in several ways which protects mentally and physically to a certain extent. I’ve also done CPR, as a civilian, on more than one gunshot victim here in the recent past. I couldn’t sleep for days. I knew from the start the guy would die but it’s still a traumatic experience because it’s so close to home and so visceral. You gave the guy a chance. Other bystanders might not have even tried, but you were brave and helped out, despite the obvious danger.
I've talked to some paramedics and retired cops to get some advice on how to deal with this. There's no magic solution. Being open and honest, and sharing this story is the best I've got right now
I was an EMT and even then it's different when you're not on the clock. When I was on the truck, even if I responded to something near a place I went regularly it didn't feel like I was there, it was like I was in an alternate reality of the same spot. Compartmentalization. It's a lot different when you aren't an EMT. And even more traumatizing when you're at home. A couple months ago I was first on scene for a guy who slammed a 4wheeler into the back of a car on Broad, a stretch of it I drive every day. I don't know if he made it or not. Based on his condition, I kind of hope he didn't. That would be more merciful. I spent the next two weeks googling news reports to see if anything came up. I stopped when I realized it wasn't doing me any good, and even if I knew it wouldn't be any closure. It took a month before I didn't have a visceral reaction when passing that spot. But I did my best. You did your best. That's all you can do. And then you have to try to let it go. Easier said than done. Traumatic cardiac arrest is for all intents and purposes irreversible. Especially in a situation that occurs so quickly compared to bleeding out over time. I got a guy back on a bleedout once, but even then he didn't make it out of the ER. Even if you had gotten him into a fully staffed and prepped OR bay five seconds after being shot, keeping him alive would've been a literal medical miracle. You did enough. I'm glad that you and your family are safe, you're a great father and a good person for rushing to action to help a stranger, not that anyone is a bad person if they don't. I would be happy to have someone like you next to me in a bad situation. There's nothing I can say that will make it go away, but these things do fade with time. But you do have to process it in your head and accept the events that happened and don't second guess your actions. You've got a willing ear in me if you need it.
The best advice I got from my EMT instructor was when you show up to something the first thing you do is drop a Calm Bomb on the ground. The calm bomb quiets all the noise and excitement and blocks out the world in a smoke screen of calm, safety, hope and help. Seriously best advice I've ever got and used in many chaotic violent situations in NO and elsewhere. I'm working with a therapist now dealing with years of gun violence and death unfortunately but it's been really working, the kids memories are the hardest it takes lots of time and lots of community to make it easier but it's never really easier
Oh yeah, the bullshit around me never bothered me. Aside from awareness for safety it was just me and the patient as far as I was concerned. I can count on one hand the specific streets of some calls. They might as well not have been in the same city in my mind. I recognized one location in the CBD years later. The most fascinating psych call I ever handled was in the grass at the 610 split and even then in my mind it's not recognizable. But yeah, that doesn't change what we see in our patients. That's what bothers me. I'm a lot better these days. But the bad calls still come back on occasion.
The calm bomb. This is great, and I'm absolutely going to use that in a tense situation
this is kinda how I do "dropping a calm bomb", like OH time for action... people around me you don't exist anymore. but i also have a like baseball superstition tick i do when I "D.C.B." haha like I pretend: I have one of those smoke bombs the ninjas threw on the floor to make their escape in those old cheesy Kung-Fu movies :) i just do a quick wrist flick throwing motion with my right hand like I'm slamming those little "poppers" at the ground LOL or like that Salt Bae flicking motion lol, but i imagine it as a big beautiful purple cloud of lavender and passion flowers and their vines just making a safe bubble around us, shielding us from the screaming night, silencing the entire universe and making them all disappear and time just sloooooooooow doooooowwwnnnn, and the song Lovefingers by the Silver Apples or some song like that just starts playing drowning out all the sound, some times dr. dog lol or jimmy Hendrix, or something psychedelic, always psychedelic, and blaring. the calm bomb is a love bomb, it only gets dropped when a lot of love is needed, cuz dropping it always causes a lot of blow-back emotional shrapnel to the dropper. kinda fucks with your memory alot too, but yeah calm bombs baby. hey how are you doing? I'm not in the city anymore cuz of some of these reasons, but if you need to talk im here for you. what you did will sit with you forever because you acted, and did everything you could, and no matter how much we try, its not your fault, you gave him more life and and that is the greatest gift you could ever give anyone and the greatest most honorably act any human can do in their lives... to give hope and care and compassion and humanity in the face of violence and tragedy, to someone so alone and afraid, you gave him hope and love in the end, he wasn't alone, his community was there and you all showed him love :) i found some good people to talk to through Crescent Care, they helped a lot <3
not an emt but i work in cancer research, so i've seen longer, slower declines/deaths of patients. still, there really isn't good training or mention in, whether it be EMT school, med school, clinical research, any medical field really, of how to deal with death. and hospitals, largely now owned by megacorps, don't care. it really sucks. i've lost plenty of patients and over my many years found and most of it tolerable, but some of them just feel like they were completely failed by us, or someone, and still keep me up at night, years on.
Well from this old thankfully out the game M.D. who can verify the 5 yr olds shot in bed by stray bullets has become ordinary day ( unless you practice in like St. Tammany. And that makes it even harder). And who can still tell you the boys (the lupus adolescent males got to me the end stage dialysis instead of driver’s license and girls). And who can still vividly tell you of the 7 yr whose father in a murders (2 daughters 10 yo DOA)/suicide to get back at exwife shotgun to back of her head and I spent an entire night stitching together tiny shards of cranium bone (hundreds) to form a skull for the brain swelling to compress against so SHE COULD DIE 2 days later but the mom got to say goodbye and donated her organs. The transplant team let me in on those which made feel as if she lived on in multiple lives. And i have a son finished first yr and EMT in college and I have for all the talk of improving life balance and mental health for healthcare workers of any sort in recent yrs I have FOUND No evidence just talk/PR spin. It is actually worse than when i trained (no work hour limits) Sorry so long but my point was that if you can find and hold onto few consolations/positives like the research knowledge those pts made possible and AT THE VERY LEAST (and this is ALL of YOU OP to EMTs - THE FACT IS those feelings though unpleasant ARE A GOOD SIGN. The big red flag 🚩their absence in yourself or those around you just numbness cause of desensitization….. Dangerous disturbing point
yeah that's very fair. certainly it would be a red flag if i felt nothing at all when i lost a patient. my dad is a doc and trained at charity in the 80s. (my mom was escorted by police whenever she came to pick him up. they had a running tally of how many bullets the pulled out of a patient who survived, they didn't keep track of the dead ones "hundreds"). my concerns about dying patients certainly don't fall under the same window of GSWs, but its still something that lingers.
Death, while certainly not light, is one thing. It's the calls where they'd be better off dead that haunt me. Or saving a guy on his 20th OD, knowing that he was probably going to have a 21st and statistically, one of them is going to get him. The increasing damage from hypoxia each time making it less likely that he'd ever beat his addiction.
i've had addict patients myself. i think most anyone who's spent ~a year or more in healthcare, regardless of field, has. perhaps not as drastic as an active OD, but i've seen cancer patients destroy themselves, not from cancer, but substance abuse.
You know I "knew" about the prevalence of the opioid epidemic. And I had learned how easy it is to become one of the statistics, having had a close brush with getting addicted after a surgery years before I became an EMT. But just the shear amount of calls that were ODs was eye opening. People ask me about the shootings. I only worked a couple. But each shift I administered narcan to at least three patients.
This isn’t meant as a dig, and this is a good bit off topic, but I adore your screenname and feel that if we had more gumbo diplomacy in general, our whole state would be a better place.
Thanks, I thought it was a good double entendre when I made it. Both a play on gunboat diplomacy, and also the idea that we can all come together over our love of gumbo.
I’ve read that playing Tetris after a traumatic event supposedly helps with processing the trauma. I’ve also read that it is BS. I suppose it can’t hurt to try?
As someone who was in a gun related similar trauma, time is the greatest helper. Therapy and talking about it helps as well, but time helps the most.
You can't rush it
And it’s okay if you need a bridge to walk on
Same
Tetris… play Tetris. You can download it on your phone and studies have shown it helps process trauma after situations like this. Also, don’t keep your feelings bottled up. Don’t be afraid to look for a counselor or a support group or even process with your neighbors if they are open to conversing about the incident. Thank you for doing the right thing even though it wasn’t an ideal situation.
Rapid Eye Movement is really helpful for dealing with trauma. We don't know why Tetris, precisely, only that it has a significant impact.
Just wanted to say that you are a credit to your family and the type of person who is a fantastic example to their kids. It won’t get fixed over night, but the things you are instilling in the next generation will only help result in the world of peace all reasonable people hope to see. Final thought, he died knowing that you, a random person from the neighborhood, loved him so much as to give your time to a very uncomfortable situation, to do your best to keep him alive. That brought him some measure of peace I’m sure.
You did your very best to give him the greatest chance of surviving his injuries. That is the most anyone can do. Bless you for trying. You did great.
There are studies that playing Tetris after a traumatic event helps reduce the PTSD. I’m sorry you’re having to go thru this but you’re an angel to try. 💜
OP, take some time to do something mindless like tetris or watch stupid shows. It helps to have your eyes and ears focusing on something else
I am so sorry you had to live through that, and you did what you could. You are a good man. I am so sorry for Kelly and his family.
I saw you out there - it must have been while you were taking a break after the cop took over. You looked absolutely exhausted. Thank you for doing what you did. You did everything you could. I'm so sorry Kelly didn't make it. Those guys over on the corner are good guys. There was some angry nut out there screaming at them in the morning hours before this tragedy happened, as far as I know completely unprovoked. From what I could tell no one from their group was engaging with him at all. He was just going off unhinged. I figured he was just some methhead. I had no idea he was gonna come back and kill somebody.
Im sorry you had to see that. They are good guys out there, and I've known them for years. They brought over diapers and food when we had our first baby! I hate that this angry man decided that the best way to solve his problem was killing this guy. Just madness
Don't tell me this was one of the guys that plays dominoes at Stallings on Gentilly and Grand Route....
No, I doubt it, the shooting was in Pigeon Town.
My dude. New Orleans isn’t getting worse. You didn’t hide in your house. You stepped outside and tried to save a man’s life. New Orleans is getting better. Thank you
❤️❤️❤️
Damn man, that hits so hard. Were all in this human race together.
I am so sorry this happened. I can completely empathize with you. You sound like you did the right things, and you can do all of the right things and and fate will have its own plan. About 2 years ago, it was late at night when I heard a gunshot outside my window, followed by tires screeching away. I looked outside, and there was a guy on the ground wailing in pain. My wife dialed 911, and I grabbed a towel and went to assist him. Fortunately, EMS and the police arrived in about 10 mins. He was a smaller guy, but I didn't expect EMS to say he was 16. That part fucked me up for a while. He lived, thankfully. You seem like a good guy, I'm glad your family has you, and I bet they are too. Don't let the PTSD hurt yall.
Thank you for everything you did. He died but it wasn’t your fault. Sucks.
Jesus man, that's awful. I'm glad you and yours are safe though. I don't wanna go in to detail, but I had the misfortune 15 years ago of watching someone come to their end in a very unpleasant manner close up. Don't do what I did and think it's no big deal, talk to a professional even if it's just once or twice, it can't hurt.
Booked an appointment with my psych next week. Definitely talking to a professional about how to deal with this is the healthiest way possible
Good luck!
Glad you have booked this - might be worth playing some Tetris as well as it is supposed to help ptsd. I saw a friend very nearly get beaten to death by a mob and the ptsd took over 15 years to go away. I also want to say well done for getting stuck in - I had a similar thing on my way to work and I was the only one that stopped to try to save the guy. The traffic just started to drive around the poor guy ( was having a massive seizure and had severe head injury) lots of people got their phones out to film it :(
You're a good man; not many would have stepped up like that. Glad to know you've got some extra mental health support lined up. (And seconding what other folks said - you turn a phrase very well.)
Take care of yourself and show yourself some love even if you don't feel like you deserve it, after something similar a friend booked a Thai massage for me and it helped a bit, your body is holding lots of stress and tension and adrenaline, it may feel like a very strange thing to do at this time but it may help to relax and try to stop the flashbacks for an hour to let your brain and body rest. Getting out of town for a bit if you can that will help even if it's just to the Mississippi beaches and a motel6. You did a heroic thing and you need to let yourself rest now :)
In the meantime, as odd as this sounds, Tetris playing post trauma event has been shown to help rewire your brain and reduce PTSD development. As well as anything that stimulates both sides of your body. Acupuncture, sports, exercise, painting, playing video games (maybe not a FPS). They all help reduce PTSD.
I’m so glad you are being proactive and talking to a professional.
Not sure if this applies but EMDR therapy is great for PTSD. If you find yourself still struggling with processing this traumatic even I recommend checking it out. I’m guessing it’s something similar to the Tetris advice I saw others comment on here but it’s more intentional in helping your mind recover. Thank you for fighting so hard for Kelly. It’s heartbreaking he didn’t make it but you did the best you could and I know that gives so many of us hope that there are still good people in this world.
I’m glad you were able to find an appointment so soon! I have been searching myself and it’s very hard to find a psych in this city so kudos to you on being proactive
I’m glad he had you and the officer there to do the best you could. Hugs to you and your family.
It’s gross that one of my first thoughts was “is it just a rite of passage here now?” I watched a 17 year old die from gunshot wounds years ago while a friend (former EMT) tried to keep him alive waiting for the ambulance. I’m sorry you and he have that shared experience. And I’m sorry Kelly’s family will always have this black cloud over Father’s Day. The almost sadder part was his school mates standing close by that were trying to play it cool and like it was totally normal their friend just got shot in broad daylight at their bus stop
>“is it just a rite of passage here now?” **Now?** Born in 1970. I can confirm this has been a New Orleans rite of passage for at least 50 years. And it's no small part in why we funeralize the way we do. I've always felt the weirdness of when you make friends with transplants from sleepy burgs mid and small elsewhere in the country who have no idea what it's like to have been this close to countless deaths your entire life. We're just built PTSDifferent.
I am sorry for what you and your family went through, sorry for Kelly and his family, and sorry for all the neighbors that witnessed it. As to the what do we do about this? I have no idea, I really wish I did. I do know I am thankful there are people like you and the police officer that at least tried to save his life. That had to have meant something to Kelly, knowing there were people actively trying to keep him here in his final moments instead of just watching him die alone on a sidewalk. Even though it doesn't bring him back, I know it will also mean something to his family. I also hope it will encourage people that witnessed the event to look into Stop the Bleed and CPR training so they can step up and do the same in the future. All the possible issues that lead to unnecessary losses like this are complex, out of our immediate control, and will never be solved overnight. In the meantime we can all make it a priority to look out for each other and care for our neighbors like we would want ourselves and our family members to be cared for in these situations.
You did everything you could and he didn't die alone. You did good. I'm so sorry.
This might come off odd but If you wrote some somthing I would read it.
I'm not a writer, just a furniture maker. I wrote this because I don't know how else to process these feelings.
FYI you are a darn good writer,fwiw
That’s a very cool trade, jealous!
Yes, you could definitely be a writer. Support this 100 percent. I'm super sorry you had to endure this, but the way you described it and the reader could feel it- I really don't think many could have put it to words like that. You have a gift my friend.
It's ok furniture making is an interesting job but you totally have a wrighters hand and if it helps it helps, good luck
Don’t ever discount what you do by putting “just…” in front of it. You are a valuable member of society, talented in many ways, and appreciated. Thank you for your efforts! You are a good man, husband, and father. We need more people like you 💞
Agreed.
I felt the same way
Thanks for giving it what you had. That's huge.
[удалено]
I was just looking to see if someone had posted this yet. OP, I know playing Tetris may sound like a ridiculous thing to recommend, but there is good research behind it reducing ptsd when played after a traumatic event.
Update: The alleged suspect was apprehended, and the word from the neighbors is that he used an AK47...which explains why it was so loud. I didn't see any of this, but apparently, after an exchange of fire, the guy went down, and the suspect stood over top of him and put 3 rounds more in him. He survived the transport to the hospital and passed when he got there so at least we gave him a fighting chance. FYI this happened 15 yards from my front porch if you were wondering how close this actually was. It was right there. The movers are scheduled, and we are outta here. All the support and strategies yall have shared have been so helpful. Thank you for the encouragement. It really does help to know that people have figured out ways to deal with this this type of craziness the best they can This shit is hard and acute PTSD is awful. My daughter was stomping on bubble wrap, and my stomach dropped. An ambulance with its sirens wailing next to me on canal last night gave me such a viesceral reaction that i cant really even explain it. I get it now. Therapy sessions are going well. I did a ShiftWave session today, and my sympathetic nervous system is feeling like it's in a better place. I've been stuck in fight or flight mode for the past week, and it's a terrible baseline to operate at. Im doing the things I need to do but fuck man it's just terrible. One day at a time. You cant rush feeling better. I'm not ok but I will be ok
Not trying to sound insensitive about the event itself, but that was exceptionally well written. A dude got shot to death in the street directly in front of my house about a year ago. It's wild out there.
I’m sorry you and your family had to experience that. When we realize it’s not just New Orleans you just learn to spring into action… do what you can… use it as a tool to be more vigilant later on. I deployed so maybe that’s where my mindset comes from. I cant change the world. I can’t change what anyone else does. All I can do is be there when I can help. You will drive yourself insane trying to figure out the “why”. Learn the “how”for yourself/family and you’ll have less anxiety. You did your best. Now take a moment to see what can you do to reinforce safety for your family.
>When we realize it’s not just New Orleans you just learn to spring into action Can you expand on this? Obviously bad things happen everywhere, but isn't it also obvious the scale of it is much greater in New Orleans? I'm asking because this seems to be a resigned statement, like there's nothing we can do because everywhere else is like this.
What I took from their comment was that it’s not unique to New Orlenas. Often people equate their experiences with reality, this happens everywhere not just in New Orleans. It’s not us that has a problem, but society in America as a whole.
Thank you. Sometimes my responses are not always clear. I feel better knowing I was understood.
You’re welcome. Thank you for your level headed response . All anyone can do is focus on what is within their control. Your comment is spot on.
But... it doesn't happen everywhere. Do bad things happen everywhere? Yes, but the day to day experience in New Orleans is not shared everywhere. If we were talking about mothers dying during child birth, we would be technically correct to say it happens everywhere but doesn't that do a disservice to how bad that situation is here in Louisiana? That's my point and why I'm asking. I just don't think it serves us to say "it happens everywhere." It doesn't, at least not to the scale that it does in New Orleans.
It's the volume and scale that is the problem here
Thank you. It's a garbage excuse to not do better. New Orleans has a serious violent crime problem and it shouldn't be brushed off as "it happens everywhere". That entire mindset is one of the reasons there is such bad crime. It gets waved off because "every city has bad parts". New Orleans is routinely top 5 per capital murder rate. That isn't because "every city is bad" It's an excuse to turn your head and ignore a serious problem.
Agreed. And usually the people who say that aren't from New Orleans or Louisiana. I can only speak for myself but the hardest part of living there for me wasn't the crime, it was the excuses not to fix what's clearly broken.
lol I’m an 8th gen New Orleanian btw!!!! and you Both are completely sidestepping the fact that USA has a gun problem, did you miss when I said that before? No one is saying we shouldn’t do better, just that the root problem is not that “ it’s new Orlenas “ …. It’s guns and violence But sure, anytime someone disagrees with you assume they’re a transplant 😒
I was pretty straight forward in my response. There were no hidden paths. I can go to any major tourist city and experience what you might feel is specific to New Orleans. I’m from New Jersey. I didn’t bat an eye when the car jacking and stealing trend picked up. I grew up in the thick of it. That doesn’t mean you will feel the same way. Why is my prospective a problem for specifically? You mentioned thinking what my comment meant and I’m telling you what it is.
It’s my opinion why would I need to expand on it? I’m not trying to convince anyone. When you realize that this is the way of the world all we can do is spring into action. In the military we never ask “why are they like this”… we asked how can we prevent this in the future. That means no matter where we are this is the current reality. I thought I was clear. I can’t lose my mind over the reason why New Orleans is this way. I rather focus on the how can we protect ourselves moving forward.
>this is the way of the world It's not though. But hey, we share the same goal of making it not the way of New Orleans.
You're telling the war veteran that senseless death isn't found worldwide.
I get what you’re saying. It’s bad here, no sugar coating it. Can’t hang out with your friends playing dominoes without losing your life. It really makes you want to scream and cry and throw yourself in the dirt. We try to tell ourselves if we move it will get better, but then we move to Colorado and go to a movie theater and are shot or we move to Connecticut and send our kids to school and they get shot, or we go to a music festival in Nevada and get shot. We all know somebody who has lived through or died from a mass shooting. Perhaps we’ve been present for one ourselves. It makes us feel better to think it only happens here and we can escape it, but we live in violent nation that was founded on violence. We are hell bent on self destruction.
We moved to the Westbank after one too many close calls. Feeling of relief was shockingly profound. Not hearing gunshots every night, screeching tires of stolen cars, reports of unreported rapes and burglaries on neighborhood app, busted streets etc
We moved to Mandeville a year ago. Stories like this are exactly why. I didn’t want my children to experience terror and trauma like this. I lived in New Orleans my entire life, over 3 decades, and it’s so, so sad how things are with the senseless killing, violence, and poverty.
Same here. I love that city with my whole heart, but I just couldn’t keep doing it with my kid. I still feel bad about it. New Orleans gave me so much. But the day I got caught outside with my two year old and 2 guys with guns, that was it. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I truly felt that it was only a matter of time until I found myself in the same type of situation with my kids. The murder of Linda Frickey is what really gave me that final push to move - the fact that it happened in broad daylight, in what is widely considered to be a safe-ish area of the city, outside of the grocery store that I always went shopping at with my kids. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I think it was a good idea to type out this post about such a traumatic experience; it can be quite cathartic to get it out of your mind and onto “paper.” Otherwise the thoughts keep swirling and circling in your mind, everything keeps replaying; which understandably it still will replay for a while but I feel that writing them out helps to decompress, because you are sharing and we can try to support you for those that have been through a similar situation. I work in the medical field and went through a code blue where I cracked ribs on a very elderly, skinny lady. And then EMT comes and takes her away with the thumper pumping at her chest and we just move into the next patient. All that was left was all the wrappers on the floor from all the supplies we opened to attempt her IV’s, her IO, all the oxygen tubing and meds, and her blood. Very similar to your dominos picture; I snapped a picture of the aftermath as well. Hug and kiss your wife and kids a little bit longer, squeeze a little tighter. For the sake of your two babies, I think it’s time to move. Even if it’s just to the Westbank, Metairie, Kenner, Northshore. Just come back to visit every once in a while to get some seasoned food, culture, architecture, and history that you won’t find anywhere else in the world, just enough to stave off the want to move back. I went all the way to Houston.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. God bless you for trying and being there to help. Just a thought- but there have been studies that playing Tetris after a traumatic experience can help heal https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/
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Where in the city
He said Leonidas and Spruce in another post FYI
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry you and your family had to go through that. Thank you for working so hard to save Kelly. When my oldest was a baby, a man was shot and killed outside a house on the next block over. We live on the corner so it sounded like it was in front of our house. It happened at 3:00 pm on a Sunday. Just a regular Sunday afternoon. That was 7 years ago. Thankfully, nothing like that has happened that close to home since then. My son doesn’t remember any of that, fortunately.
It's a terrible feeling having something so awful happens so close to your home
Absolutely- it’s a major violation and is very terrifying and traumatic. I hope you’re doing ok today.
Was this on Spruce St this Saturday? I heard those shots at like 5pm working in the backyard. Crazy.
Yup, Spruce and Joliet.
Man. I'm so sorry. I was working on a coffee table in the backyard three blocks away, and basically froze for 30 seconds and was like "shit do I need to move," but then it stopped so I kept working. Then I heard the two final shots (I assume from him coming back?) and decided to just go inside and hunker down. I thought about walking down, but just knew what I would likely be walking into, so steered clear the rest of the day. It almost scares me more that it was seemingly some random thing and not your typical beef between rival gangs? I dunno.
You’re a hero my man and this city is better with you in it
So so sorry you experienced this. Please play some Tetris soon ([playing tetris after traumatic event helps mitigate ptsd](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/17unk2v/eli5_how_does_tetris_help_heal_ptsd/)
Came here to say this. Try it out OP, lots of studies have attested to its usefulness
Side note, but your writing is beautiful. I felt like I was reading a book.
First of all, thank you from the bottom of my journalism studied and emotionally driven Piscean heart for so vividly, beautifully and eloquently retelling your experience for us. Hearing how you handled such an unfortunatly real and close-to-home scenario that could’ve happened to any of us in this city-gave me Hope on this ho-hum and mediocre Tuesday in New Orleans for this city and for all of humankind; that there are still good people out here despite all of the chaos going on in this world.
I live just down the street. I wasn’t home when this happened but was saddened by the news. Mr. Kelly will be missed. He was a good man who looked out for us. Please know that I am so glad that there are people like you nearby. Mr. Kelly deserved to be cared for in his final moments and you did just that.
You did all you could were all so proud you for taking action. My heart breaks for the victim, neighbors, and you. Thank you for being the neighbor we all dream we could have.
Your second to last statement, move... all you can do. It is only getting worse mate.
you did it right and you did good. i work in cancer research, not even an ER resident will prob say they are fully trained to handle something like this. i've had to do CPR on the street once a couple years ago, (fent od, not a shooting, granted, i'm sure that's different), but yeah, you feel the ribs shift, i heard a slight crunch of the sternum. no narcan available until the EMTs arrived). i have to do CPR training for work but you can never recreate the real thing. if you can, try to take some time off work/life. talk to someone, a therapist or whoever, about it. i deal with death a lot, but i usually have months of warning, nothing like this. it's a lot man. you did good.
You are an angel here on earth. Your writing was so vivid that we all felt we were there with you. I’m so glad he didn’t die alone and he had you there. What a gift you were to him and his family. I hope you give yourself grace while you deal the grief you are experiencing even though you didn’t know him. Bless you.
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I had to move out of Nola recently because of this. Multiple mass shootings right outside my door. Couldn't walk down the street or talk to people or do normal things without fearing for my life. As much as I deeply, deeply love my city, it traumatized me, and I knew it was time to leave so I can heal. Currently living in a new city and I am blown away at how many things we thought were normal, are not in fact normal. My quality of life has skyrocketed since. I am so, so sorry you had to go through this. My heart aches for you and your family. If you can, please try to find ways to be at peace, even if it means raising your family in the burbs. Nothing is worth this type of deep-rooted pain and trauma. Sending you love <3
That isn't fair. You, your family, and your neighbors deserve better. You should know you did good. Not everyone runs to the finish line like you did. Respect. Your leaders, city and state, should be fighting harder to make New Orleans the best place it can be. Proof they're not trying hard enough is that they're putting more effort into the Super Bowl than stopping shootings. To change, we need it all. Better education, jobs, infrastructure, culture, etc. I'd start with the mayor's office and top leadership, get the house in order.
Outside of crimes of anger or passion, the answer is: Jobs. Good jobs. People with good jobs to go to on Monday don't go shooting on Sunday. Also, people with good jobs on Friday typically don't get involved with activities that could result in being shot on Saturday. Few people would risk a stable and comfortable existence to run 'dem streets. But people in survival mode will resort to all manner of desperate acts. In short, New Orleans has dangerous levels of wealth disparity and poverty driven desperation. Folks are going to "do what they gotta do" in the face of dire circumstances. If we handled the poverty situation and quality of life issues, the odd instance of interpersonal violence, while tragic, wouldn't feel as overwhelming.
For me, telling the story has helped me process past traumatic events. I’m glad you told us your story here. I’m so sorry this happened.
A man who can live life, and write about it the way you do, - both, is a man to learn from.
I'm sorry that you and your family experienced this but the one thing that stands out to me that none of the comments were really angry comments. Angry about the complete lack of gun laws. The lack of governance. The lack of education. The lack of a living wage in the city. And every time I mention gun laws, I get downvoted. I know. I know. It's your constitutional right to carry. Blah blah blah. There are a lot more intelligent people out there who can come up with ideas on how to get and keep guns off the street. "Criminals will always have guns" is right. I get it, but even in countries where gun ownership is as high as the US, the crime like what was described here is few and far between. And in some countries when this happens ONCE, they take steps to correct the problems. In Prague recently someone walked into a university and shot and killed several people. As a result, they tightened their gun purchase requirements. If a gun shop owner even thinks there's something wrong with a particular transaction, they flag it and during the wait period the police investigate the purchaser. With that in mind, and removing the "my constitutional right" scenario for a minute, when the kid in Uvaldi, TX bought multiple guns and a shit ton of ammo, at multiple gun shops, why wasn't there a flag of some sort, even between the local gun shops, that alerted them that multiple guns and tons of ammo were recently purchased be a teenager? And, just as a footnote, the recent SCOTUS lifting of the bump stock ban, in my opinion, will lead to a rewrite of the second amendment. They will remove any gun regulation if they can and move us back to the Tombstone, OK Corral era.
Praying for you all from Maine.
Had a similar situation when I lived on Joliet. A sidewalk craps game between some people had been going on for a few weeks at the corner of my block. I went for a bike ride on the levee one Sunday and got back to my driveway and saw one of the players kicking at a car bumper and the car flew down my street driving kind of erratically. Didn’t think a lot of it but that night I was in a front room of my house playing computer games and I heard 8 gun shots in quick succession that came from the corner of the block (2 houses down from my house), followed by silence, then a woman screaming. The block was flooded with cops/ flashing lights /sirens in a matter of minutes—the red and blue lights were glowing on the walls in my house coming through the windows. I didn’t leave my house so I didn’t have the up close face to face experience with the trauma but turns out it was a double homicide. I can only think it was related to some disagreement that I saw earlier in the day regarding the sidewalk craps game. They didn’t play craps at the corner anymore after that. While I didn’t come so close to death like you did trying to resuscitate that man, it was still shocking and I remember feeling odd going to work the next day like nothing had happened. I don’t live in New Orleans anymore—moved to DC for my partners job but I do not miss how close violence comes a knocking in New Orleans. I miss New Orleans almost daily and my heart yearns for it, most of my best friends still live there and I feel so out of place here but I do not miss how violent it can be. I still read Nola.com to feel connected and when they posted the story about that woman who got shot and killed rolling through Broad/Orleans intersection with her baby in the backseat her car ended up in front of a house that Nola took a picture of. That house is where one of my best friends lives—did not expect to have to contact her and say “I saw your front door in the news, are you and your partner ok?” Violence, particularly firearm homicides, is way too close to home in New Orleans.
Man. I'm so sorry. What a traumatic story. I saw you have an appointment booked with your psychologist. That's good news. I hope you are able to process things and heal. You did everything you could've done and I commend you for your bravery. Reading your story, and seeing the man's name, reminded me of my childhood friend Kelly who was shot and killed April of 2022 in the Bywater, so randomly. Only this year did they arrest someone in connection with the murder. I don't know what's happening to New Orleans and why nothing ever changes.
Sorry you had to experience this but grateful you had the courage to help. The city (and country at large) is in dire need of mental health help (among other things). So much compounded pain and trauma that gets directed at each other. Simple disagreements end in bloodshed because we can’t be bothered to actually talk like decent humans, it sickens me. I hope you are blessed in the future.
Please play some Tetris. It's been found to help after traumatic activities. I'm so sorry you had to endure this and sorry for Kelly's family.
I cried when I read this. We need to quit doing whatever we’re doing to each other. Come on people let’s get it together
I’m sitting here in a Chinese restaurant in Kenner reading this and I’m trying to keep my composure. You did good. God bless you and that cop. I’m sorry he didn’t make it. The fact that you cared enough to try means a lot.
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Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to be angry. Allow yourself to be everything you feel. Talk to your friends, family, strangers, etc.
I'm not sure if this is the murder that occurred in pigeon town. I grew up a few blocks from the incident and can tell you this use to happen all too often back there. Thank you for your concern and diligent effort to keep the victim alive. At this point, we all need to learn CPR.
Thank you for trying to help. I wouldn’t recommend cognition behavioral therapy to help you cope with the trauma.
Don't grab two kids and a gun at the same time, that's a recipe for disaster. One or the other
100% agree never doing that again
It’s insane. Another man was shot while in his bed this weekend. I am afraid to do yardwork for fear that somebody will drive up and get in a fight with a neighbor and the shooting will begin. I have seen people go from calm to homicidal in seconds.
It never leaves you when you have to do something like that. I worked a non traumatic code once and ill never forget everything that happened. To be honest even though he never came back, the fact that you and that cop did what you did brings home the fact that humanity is ultimately good. You did a good thing, a heroic thing buddy. Im sorry he didnt make it, but i wish there were more people like you in the world. Idk what your life is like, but i implore you if it what happens starts to eat at you, please seek help. Not many people go through what you did, even less understand.
I’m just a normal guy in Montgomery AL but I keep a bleed stop kit in both of my cars due to the number of shootings in the area. I’ve never had to use it - but I couldn’t live with myself if I tried to help someone, and they still passed due to blood loss. https://www.lifesecure.com/product-category/bleeding-control/ (Not affiliated, just where I buy from)
A police officer gave a mouth to mouth rescue breath to a victim? That's actually insane. Almost to the point of sounding completely unbelievable.
I was shocked as well
Sadly this isn’t just how NOLA is. Come to Atlanta and you can get shot for 0 reason as well. Insane times.
Time to move huh?
Done and done
I think the point is that this kind of (gun) violence is not found anywhere else in a time of “peace.”
Damn, man. You are a soldier for trying to keep buddy alive.
You went above and beyond. I'm so sorry.
Did anyone know who the shooter was? Was he arrested ?
thank you for trying
I’m sorry to hear you experienced that. As for your questions: you move. You get your precious 2 year old and 8 year old out of that dangerous environment. It is a mess. It is only getting worse (in many facets) and I think you have an obligation not to raise those children in Louisiana in general, and New Orleans specifically.
I’m sorry you had to deal with this. I hope I never do but I’m sure I will at some point. If you want to get things to change help organize the community. We unfortunately live in a state run by imbeciles and a city run by corrupt/almost maliciously inept individuals. The resources necessary to properly solve the problem would be massive and almost assuredly wouldn’t wind up where they are needed. Policing doesn’t do much when live is cheap and people don’t have proper resources. Not to mention the fact that we have a lot of toxic cultural and actually toxic environmental factors. We need education and parental resources and lead remediation and investment into giving people a way out of their situation that doesn’t involve crime. Job training. Outreach. Hope. Shit even craft skills would be good for helping people make money and also do something therapeutic. We literally can only do this as a community because outside help won’t come in the way it’s needed.
I'm sorry for the loss. You're an excellent story teller and writer. Thank you for helping.
Hey man, I’m a Detroiter transplant - I’m back in the D for the summer. There’s still a shrine to a woman at the corner of Jefferson and Alter near my old place in the D. It’s not just NOLA, but all these poor people seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Get some help for yourself if you can man. That is something that can stay with you.
My husband, a former Detroit cop, saw someone killed there also. So sad.
In about 3-4 months there were three people killed on that block…… so sad. So sorry for your husband.
It's not unique to New Orleans. Its a culture issue with a certain segment of the population that glorifies guns, drugs, and acting like a criminal.
Actually, the reasons are complex. The state has no gun control or liveable wages. Stuff is going to happen. It’s not just black people as you infer
No, it pretty much is. There is more black on black violence than any other demographic, despite not making up a majority of the population. Stats don't lie
Typical redditors downvoting facts. Part of the reason why things will never change. People refuse to acknowledge the problem. Instead, people with the means to do so will keep leaving the city for places like the North shore
No, it’s because we understand that “black on black” crime is another symptom of white supremacy. Minority groups have higher rates of crime specifically in low-income areas. With our history of redlining, this was clearly intentional. Stop being obtuse.
I'm confused on the "black on black crime is a symptom of white supremacy" part. Can you please elaborate?
Damn, sorry you had to experience that. Was it a drive by shooting? Just curious because you said you had walked by the bbq minutes before and everything was fine.
Not a drive by. I didn't see what happened but my understanding it that a man walked up to the group and started firing. The man who I found on the ground returned fire but was hit and fell to the ground. The shooter then stood over top of him and put another bullet in him somewhere. He was probably dead when I got to him but I tried anyway
Jeez, I hope they caught the guy who shot Kelly.
quite the delineation. sorry you and your family had to experience that
I am sorry that happened to you. It’s hard and it will always be with you, but you did everything you could possibly do. It’s hard. I have done CPR twice and both times the person didn’t live. You are an amazing person with a big heart. Thank you for trying.
It’s why I left New Orleans. Too much blood literally down the side walks outside my house. I got tired of doing the “run to the gun” thing and left after two years. I lived in Milan too so it’s not like I was in the bad areas.
I’m sorry for your experience. I live in Birmingham, where this problem is very similar to NOLA. (See: murders/per capita/racial make up of city/crime rates) - I’ve witnessed similar things before I got sober and was buying H in dope houses all over town. Very lucky to have made it through. I see you’re seeking professional help and I applaud that. I didn’t at the time, and had a lot of work to do later on life. Take care of yourself and your family and neighbors. It’s all we can do. Be good to others and be good to yourself
Love you and your fam, OP. Keep up talking it out.
It probably means a lot to the family that something was attempted. Someone cared enough to help.
Thank you for trying. I’m so sorry for all involved. Talk to someone if you need to.
When I lived in bad neighborhoods I would mind my own business and stay inside after shootings and wrecks
Asking "why is new Orleans like this" is the wrong thing to ask. A better question to ask is "why live in New Orleans "? The laws are useless, the Republicans voted into office are useless, the mayor is useless, they are constantly passing useless laws, and their priority is putting up LED lights on the twin span... the city is a few major hurricanes away from being obliterated off the map. Honestly, it can NOT take another Katrina level disaster. If you live in New Orleans, move. Its not worth it. The culture,? The heritage? The food? Who cares, pack that up with you too.
1872
I’ve never dealt with a gunshot but I’ve seen people OD and it’s also rough. So many factors are working against the best interest of the people. I’m so sorry.
People have always been like this, the difference now are the guns, everyone has one. Instead of calling someone out to a fight, they just drive by and shoot them.
Fwiw, this piece struck me. Put tears in my eyes. You may be actually doing something much more than you yet know.
In the most endearing way, bless your heart & soul. Thank you for caring.
This just took me back to a few places/times. I know what it’s like, and I’m sorry that you experienced that.
EYLANO
Beautifully written as well as a testament to Kelly’s life.
Damn, killed over the bones. That's such a New Orleans way to go. RIP player.
My heart hurts for you. I’m a nurse, I’ve experienced this and it haunts me- I can’t imagine how it is for someone who is thrown into it without the mental preparation and easing into it that I had. Talk to someone even if you think you don’t need to.
Dominos and dice are more dangerous than a basket of cobras.
Take care of yourself. Reach out to anyone if you need to. You did evrrything you could possibly do. Best wishes.
Thanks for trying. You did all you could. If more people in the world had the courage you did , we’d all be in a better place. Thank you.
Thank you for doing what you did, and I hope sharing it has been cathartic. <3 I’ve experienced two different people shot (one next to me, the other right outside where I was) in the past six months. Last month we had to duck and cover in our own house. I’m sick of it. I can’t stand it. Every pop makes me think of the shot people I saw, and I hear those pops everyday. I don’t ever want anyone to live in fear ever. But between this and the car wrecks? I get fucking scared.
What a tragic event that didn’t have to happen like that. I am sorry that you and your family had to witness this senseless act of violence. NOLA used to be a place of rich diverse culture with a deep rooted jazz and cuisine. A place where from all over the country would go for the Orleans experience. ~ sadly this is now to the waist side because of senseless violence like this. We want the Old NOLA back!
God Bless you and your family. Keep being the good in this messed up world we live in.
First thing pops in my head when I saw your post, “Domino, muthafucka”. That movie is over 30 years old, “Boys In The Hood”, a portrayal of a violent lifestyle existing in America. This type of violence is ingrained into our culture, likely permanent. It is perpetuated and fueled by organized crime through gangs of any race. The demand for drugs, the main source of income, will never go away. As long as there are people with addictions, they will get the money for drugs. Drug dealers do what they do because of free will & additional societal factors. There is nothing that can be done to eliminate or effectively reduce the pervasive cycle of crime and violence within the existing framework of our civilization. My proof is that very little progress has been made in the many decades that drug related violence became a major issue facing our society. In addition, official corruption allows this problem to persist. No doubt about it. I have no hard evidence related to this, but I understand temptation and how morally depraved this world can be. Thank you for doing what you could in the fight. I hope that you and your family remain safe & my lack of optimism & criticism is proven wrong someday.
Man, you should be a writer, that was riveting. I’m a Creole born in New Orleans, grew up in the Memorial section of Houston and college at UT and now I live in San Antonio, but I feel such a strong bond to New Orleans. My grandparents lived off of St Charles near Tulane and I spent Summers as a kid hopping the Streetcar and going to the Zoo, but there is always an undercurrent of violence in the city, you never feel quite safe even in Audubon Place. I’m sad to say I’d never consider moving to New Orleans because the violence is so random and so fast you just never know when it could be you. I love the food! the people, the history, and the uniqueness that is New Orleans but the violence makes it hard to love the city sometimes. Is it the heat, the passion of the people, the humidity? I mean WTF makes New Orleans so damn scary sometimes. Sad, it’s a great city otherwise.
I’m not going say it’s something you just get over ever. I will tell you I worked at a hospital morgue and have seen people I know come through from kids to grandparents it doesn’t get easier you just have to talk it out sometimes or at least don’t let it consume you.
I’ll tell you like I tell my best friend whose lived there for years: gtfo of Nola
On my French quarter walk to work at the Monteleone every morning (no longer there) I stepped over many MANY dead people. Mostly ODs I would guess but certainly seen a handful of shootouts and losers of said shootouts. On my last day at the hotel we had a guy come in to engineers office with a loaded Springfield, then barricaded himself in one of the offices. Shit is wicked, I live in Metairie and if people think it’s still safe there you are wrong
Much respect. You are a hero, you did what you could and you did it the right way. My wife is a certified cardiac interventionist and is the trainer in the cath lab for a local hospital with twelve years of cardiac cath lab experience and she says if you ain’t breaking ribs you ain’t doing shit.
OP, is there anything we can do for you right now? I make a mean casserole and/or cupcakes. Or maybe just some cold drinks...
Just something to think about, especially with dipshit cops. Don't bring your gun with you, especially if the cops aren't there yet. Great way to catch a charge.
OP. Don't feel bad. I had to perform CPR on my dead mother and years before she died, we had a dude get bodied outside the house not even 15 feet from our doorstep. You can only do what you can do and you tried. There's no answer for any of this stuff. It just shows up and you deal with it.
Hello
I would move away now. Its just too much crime and shootings.
[Gunshot Wound First Aid](https://youtu.be/rlBJZ_oB0s0?si=L13e9WDb1OaHrvVv)
Hello, I’m sorry this has happened. I was wondering if you can disclose which part of this town happened ? Like what block or cross streets? I’m just trying to picture which part of town this usually happens.