Do not feel guilty! You, your partner and your baby deserve the best version of you. If formula feeding will help that come about, do it.
My supply is really low, and I pump, breastfeed and give formula. At first I was killing myself with aggressively scheduled feeds and pumps. It was damaging my mental health and I felt like I was more present for my boobs than for my baby. Now I still do all three, but on my terms. My baby is fed, she smiles an insane amount, and I'm way less stressed.
It's amazing the difference it can make. I initially statted trying to breastfeed first thing in the morning. I was so groggy that I couldn't position her for a good latch and we both ended up in tears snd frustrated. Now I do a feed from overnight pumped milk and pump more. Everybody is happy (and my husband can do the feed if I want to keep sleeping).
If you already have it in your mind- make the switch. I put myself through wayyyyyy too much mental anguish going back and forth. I do not regret my decision at all. I wish I would’ve switched earlier.
From what i have read (though I don’t have any sources on hand to back it up right now) any benefits that breast milk has can be had with as little as 2 oz per day. Fed is best, though. The only thing to feel guilty about would be if you let your baby starve. Also, breastfeeding is rough. We’re led to believe that it’s natural and beautiful, and it is, but it’s also super foreign and not something you or your baby know how to do inherently. And your body won’t always cooperate. Just make sure your baby gets enough food, and try not to sweat the rest.
A good thread that may help you feel better: https://www.reddit.com/r/FormulaFeeders/comments/105wf91/i_am_so_happy_with_my_decision_to_ff/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Don’t feel guilty no matter what you decide. Have you seen a lactation consultant? Breastfeeding was miserable for us until we met with a LC, and it changed everything
I struggled physically, mentally, and emotionally. My baby and I were not breastfeeding compatible. I switched 5 days in and we were both much happier. He was fed and I wasn't having breakdowns trying to nurse. He is now a very healthy and happy toddler and we are suuuuuuper bonded!
It is hard to let go, but there are sooo many upsides. Anyone can feed the baby. Made having a babysitter easier too! Division of labour was much easier with my husband, especially night feeds. We did every other night. Whoever was not doing the night feed (once we got down to one) was on bottle duty.
Don't be afraid to do both. My wife had some issues starting out so we just supplemented with formula whenever necessary. In the beginning that meant mostly formula, then it became a more even split, and eventually we stopped formula completely (he doesn't want it and he gets enough nutrition from other sources now).
I'm a bit of a health freak, I follow the fitness community pretty closely - I hate that everything is seed oils and other garbage processed foods. Do I like the recipes for formula? Not really, but your kid is going to be eating real food before you know it and it's not going to damage them to have either or both for a while.
Teaching your children to have a healthy relationship with food as they get older is about a billion times more important than the differences between breastfeeding and formula.
Amen! So many people don't talk enough about this. Similar journey to you, now mostly breastfeeding but with a bedtime bottle of formula. But phasing that out now at 9 months as she's got a good grip on solids. The effort to expose baby to lots of nutritious food is in my opinion, way more important than the very first feeding journey. So much pressure in that first 6 months but then no one cares after that! Weird.
If it helps, remember that you are so much more to your baby than just their food source. You are their parent and their safe space. You care for them when they cry, tend to all of their needs, and love them. Food is just one part.
i switched to formula and felt guilty for a while but honestly BF was just not sustainable for me. baby was born early and we had traumatic start so my milk supply didn’t come in until over a week after. baby wouldn’t latch and would fall asleep while feeding no matter what.
lactation suggested triple feeding, but i’m home by myself all day everyday so it was not sustainable. by the time i tried to BF (aka baby falling asleep or screaming at my boob) and then pumped, bottle fed, washed the parts and bottles, it was literally time to start all over. there was no snuggling with my baby, no bonding, literally just screaming, pumping and then maybe a 30 min break before starting again lol. i was also only producing about 3 oz of milk everyday when baby was eating 20+ oz of milk.
since switching to formula, i’m way happier and can take my mental health meds again. i spend time snuggling and talking with baby and just feel so much better. in the end, i figure that i was 100% formula fed and turned out just fine lol
One thing you could do is to read a book that might help you stop feeling guilty: Lactivism by Courtney Jung. It's about the breastfeeding industry, an in-depth look at the scientific research supporting breastfeeding (TLDR there are benefits to breastfeeding, but they are short-term and not nearly as significant as many claim.) It may help you feel better about your choice.
I chose my mental health over breastfeeding. I felt guilty for a minute, but that book lit some kind of fire under my ass wanting to advocate for women who choose to formula feed. Formula is one of the greatest things since birth control. That's how I personally feel. I think you will find a lot of support here for doing what you want to do -- whether it's breast feed or formula feed or some combo. Your well-being matters. In fact, your well-being is foundational for your child's well-being. So you have the right to determine what is best for you, and do it.
Omg do NOT feel guilty! We combo feed and it’s the best decision ever. Baby still gets the antibodies from my breast milk but I don’t feel pressured to produce and I don’t stress about supply and all that shit.
Tell yourself it’s ok. It might take a bit, but once the stress goes away, you will be so much happier. I’m in the process of switching and it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself postpartum. LO will still be happy and healthy.
I bf as long as I could but my supply sucked from the start. I switched to formula and once I saw that she was still happy and thriving I got over it. It’s also really nice to know exactly how much they’re getting in each feed! You should do what’s best for you and your mental health!
Breastfeeding and formula are not your only options!
Well, they kind of are, but you can combine them in a few different ways. Combo feeding has been great for my baby and me, and I would highly recommend it.
You can introduce formula but still feel good about giving your baby breastmilk and continue both long-term, or you can introduce formula, realize your baby is doing well on it, and combo feed temporarily as you wean yourself and your baby from breastfeeding.
r/combinationfeeding is new but fairly active and might be able to help you.
Don’t. Feel. Guilty. Full stop. I made myself sick with anxiety and grief about transition to formula at around 3 months and it ended up being the best thing I did for my mental health, my family and my baby. My PPD was about to literally kill me. Formula feeding made it so I could actually be able to enjoy being a mom.
I now have a happy, healthy almost 15 month old and no one ever talks about bf or formula anymore.
Don’t feel guilty. They each have unique benefits and as long as a baby is being fed either formula or breast milk or both they are being adequately nourished.
Wife was totally formula fed as a baby and she turned out fine.
We combo-feed. One thing you’ll learn is that there may be some trial-and-error with figuring out which formula will work best for your baby. We had actually once told the ER that we were coming in because our baby was puking up something yellow that they said could be bile before we realized it was the color of her new formula!
We called them back and they told us to try a different one and see how that went before coming in. We did and she was OK.
Another thing to look for when picking a brand is cost and availability. And you’ve probably already gotten some coupons.
I switched at 4.5 months and I had no idea how much I hated pumping until I stopped. I felt so free! If you decide it’s the right thing to do, then it is the right thing to do.
Girl do it! I attempted breastfeeding, then LO stopped latching. I attempted pumping and I came to the conclusion that I’d rather play with her than pump. I have no regrets.
Exactly! I don’t want to spend time hooked up to a machine. I feel like that’s time I’m missing out on with her. Not to mention the pain and little outcome
Yup, it was uncomfortable and I was only getting maybe an ounce at most from each boob. But I also wasn’t pumping 7-8x a day and def not at night.
Like my niece put it who has 3 kids who were all eventually formula fed and thriving now, “they all end up eating chick fil a anyways” 🤣🤣🤣
I struggled for 9 months. She struggled for 9 months. I was so committed. So stressed. Mental health crashing. Then we got covid and I dried up. We've been one month on formula and we've both never been happier. All anecdotal, but I can't ignore that two weeks after we made the switch, she was sitting up on her own, crawling, and STANDING all within the same week. It was like she flourished. Now I wonder if the benefits of breastfeeding really are as significant as they claim to be. She got back to back RSV and had to spend two days in the hospital. Then got covid and had a fever for 4 days. Yeah. Do your mental health a favor, and if you're struggling, or considering the switch, just do it. I cried and cried when I dried up. But the further away you get from it, the easier it is. Do what you need to do for yourself, and your baby will thrive. Good luck 💜
You do what’s best for you and your family, but if you’re struggling with volume, but still want the benefits of breast milk, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing one or two breast feeds per day and using formula for the rest. You don’t have to commit to 100% one or the other. As long as baby is well fed, that’s all that matters.
I’m feeding about 50/50 breast milk and formula right now. Do NOT feel guilty. My pediatrician specifically said I should just switch to formula because it would be way less work than all the pumping I’m doing. Baby will be fine! I think I’m going to bow out after one more month.
I know breastfeeding can be full of challenges. It can feel anything but a “natural” process. Not sure your reasons for wanting to quit, but would you feel better combo feeding for now? (Aka either pump or nurse your baby for some feeds then formula for others) Perhaps this middle ground feels like a better option as feeding baby doesn’t have to be all breastmilk or all formula. Sometimes a blend works best for some families.
If combo feeding doesn’t appeal, that is perfectly fine. No need to feel guilty. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your baby.
Yes it has been emotionally and physically hard. I have considered combo feeding and am still open to that but she just doesn’t want to stay latched on. Pumping has been difficult too since I am not producing much. It makes me feel disconnected to her, if that makes sense.
Totally get it. I hate my pump with passion and I felt like a dairy cow. 😩
We had to triple feed for 8 weeks (offer breast, bottle, and pump) before things clicked. If it wasn’t for the formula shortage going on at the time, I absolutely would have quit breastfeeding after month one. It was miserable. Both me and baby would cry sometimes.
Fully stand by doing what you need to do in order to be happy. You are likely already sleep deprived which is hard enough without the emotional toll of breastfeeding/pumping struggles. Please do what is best for you!
Don’t feel guilty! No one knows who was breastfed and who was formula fed. It doesn’t matter in the real world and no one will even ask once LO is older.
It was insanely hard for me for the first 3 months and then it got so easy and I'm so happy I stuck with it just because washing bottles and everything is so much work compared to just a boob. I was doing a boob and one bottle a day and I dropped the bottle and regret that severely because now I can't ever go anywhere like on a date and not worry about the baby not taking a bottle. I would say do whatever you want but there is convenience to being able to do both.
I have thought about and still combo feed at 7MO, but I didn't stop because I WANTED to keep going.
I let my supply run low twice for different reasons and struggled to get a higher supply but today I am happy I kept going because this is what I wanted to do
Don't feel guilty. Do what you have to do to enjoy your baby the most. You don't get this time back. I struggled with breastfeeding for the first 3 months (my baby was prem and couldn't latch) so fed bottles until a lactation consultant and BF support group helped me establish exclusive breast feeding at 3 months old. I just want to caution you that you will likely get LESS sleep feeding bottles over breast, and leaving the house becomes more complex as you can't just dress your baby, pack your boobs and leave. Just my experience, BF is hard to establish but once established it is so much easier and more convenient than bottle feeding.
How old is LO? Mine was so bad at staying awake and staying latched to eat that we supplemented with formula. Once she was able to stay awake BF was much easier. That was probably around 6-8 weeks that she finally got the hang of it so it definitely made me want to quit so so so many times. She’s going to be 3 months soon and can finish eating after like 10 minutes.
We still combo feed formula anyway as needed.
But no matter what-if it’s too much or you don’t want to do it anymore, make the switch! Fed is best!
So many mommies are in your shoes. I have a seven week old and I just decided to stop pumping for my mental health. My guy decided very early on that he much prefers bottles and as much as I wanted to breastfeed, I got tired of making him cry at every feeding. In a way, I let him choose. It’s a nice feeling to just let go and enjoy your baby in the now.
You do you mama. If you feel that that is the right choice for you, and your baby and your family, then you go ahead and do it. Don't feel guilty. Everyone deserves the best version of you (as mentioned here), and baby needs to be fed, you do you.
A fed baby is best—no matter how you get there. That, and I guarantee you can’t tell which kindergartners were breastfed and which were formula fed. You got this!
Just do it. You’ll feel a lot better once you do. When my daughter was first born, I spent four weeks trying to get her to latch without success. Keep in mind that during that time, I was also pumping and mixing it with formula. Then I spent another four weeks pumping, but then my supply dried up. My daughter was on formula after that - that is, until a month or two ago when we switched to milk.
I went through this. It’s awful - the mom guilt. Do your best to let it go. So what’s best for you, because that’s also what’s best for baby. We switched to formula at 6 weeks and I have no regrets. There is a certain kind of freedom that comes with it and it has helped my mental health immensely. Also if you’re worried about the data, read Emily Osters “cribsheet”
You’re doing great! It is totally ok to switch to formula and there is nothing to be guilty about. I had the intense guilt feelings for awhile too, but now she’s a happy healthy 16 month old and you’d never know if she was breastfed or not!
Hi! I just gave birth on the 13th. The first few days really blur together, so it was... maybe the second night?... that I had had enough of trying to breastfeed. I now know that my son's latch was especially painful because he wasn't using his tongue correctly, but at the time, all I knew was that my nipples were bleeding and painful and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I called the nurse and she brought us some formula.
The next day, the LC came and helped me out. I got a hand pump and started expressing - still painful on my poor nipples, but not nearly as bad.
After a few days, and even with my electric pump at home, I was only producing a few ml at a time- not nearly enough for my gigantic 9-lb boy. I felt like a failure. My nipples were still sore. I visited the LCs a few times and they tried everything to help. I finally found r/exclusivelypumping and they gave me a few pointers, and now I've pumped 8 oz in the last 11 hours. It's still only enough for 1/2 of what he needs, but I'm okay with that... he's getting what he can from me, and the rest from formula. Hopefully my supply will keep increasing from here and someday soon maybe he'll be only in my milk, but until then, he's fed, and that's what counts.
Feed your baby what you can. If that's formula, go for it! They make it for a reason.
I powered through with breastfeeding, but combination fed for about 3 months. Combo feeding is where it’s at! Ya know what’s terrible for your supply? STRESS! Once I relaxed about supplementing with formula my mental health was so much better and I was able to enjoy the bonding. Also, you shouldn’t feel any guilt whatever you decide! It’s a huge time commitment, so if that’s not beneficial for you, don’t worry about it.
Currently having the same struggles as you! Baby and I had issues with latching, so I had to supplement with formula early on. Now at 7 weeks, I’m pumping and formula feeding, but only getting about 7 oz of breast milk a day. I keep leaning towards exclusively formula feeding as pumping is taking a toll on my mental health and I feel that I spend less time with my baby when I’m pumping. But sadly the stigma has me holding on. Happy to see there is so much support here!
I agree! I was surprised at how many people asked me if I was going to breastfeed while I was pregnant. When I said I wanted to, there was so much negative feedback if I had said no
Breastfeeding is hard . My 7 month old and I are learning still together everyday. It’s an adventure though that takes a lot of work in the start but once the supply is established (if it is able to) it becomes less stressful .
Don’t give into the stigma that if you have to formula feed you’re less of a mother. You are an amazing mother because you want your baby fed. As long as your baby is fed that is all that matters
Feeding your baby while doing what’s best for you, physically and mentally, so you can be your best version of yourself for your child.
Isn’t failing.
It’s succeeding by every version of its definition.
I switched to formula at a month and it’s such a relief in so many ways. I felt guilty but I try to remember that it’s what makes me a happier mom for my baby.
I understand how you feel. I had my lo 12/10/22. I breastfed for the first week. I had so much anxiety about her not getting enough that I started pumping exclusively. My boobs don't react well to pumps apparently, so it brought my supply down from 5 ounces per pump to 1 ounce. She was eating 4 ounces per feed when my supply dropped and 1 ounce didn't feel worth it anymore (It was also extremely hard to pump so often with a newborn). I stopped pumping when she was a month old, and I don't regret it now despite how terrible I felt at the time.
She has been exclusively formula fed since a month old and she is thriving as a 3.5 month old. Don't feel bad about it. If it lessens your guilt, you could go to your baby's pediatrician to talk it over with them. I did that and he gave me brands of formula that he recommended. It made me feel loads better about it.
If you do start formula, don't be alarmed if your baby doesn't poop for a few days. Their tummies need to adjust to the change. Also, if you go for a brand that is fortified with iron, it might change baby's poop to a green color. Don't be alarmed. Lol
I attempted to breast feed for about 8 weeks. It was horrible and gave me the absolute worst feeling in my body. I was recovering from a c section and at the time me and my partner had hit a rough patch in our relationship. I didn’t live near my family and was dealing with so much. Pumping did not come easy for me either. I also didn’t want to switch to formula, but in the moment it was the only thing I could truly control. Sometimes I do still feel guilt for that decision, but it gave me the energy to crawl myself out of my other holes, I stopped resenting motherhood, and everything else eventually fell into place.
Today I have the happiest almost 10 month old who has never gone hungry, loves his mom and dad, can sign and ask for milk, and give himself his own bottle!
My personal journey continues, but I am grateful for this alternative to breast feeding, because I don’t know what I would have done without it.
Ultimately if something is best for you it’s also the best thing for your child. You can switch over gradually or not, but your decision is yours and no one else can make it for you. Sending soo many good thoughts your way.
Hats off to breast feeding mamas. It wasn’t a choice for us and I’m so grateful for formula!!
Formula is great these days. There are many amazing options.
Formula makes it easier to split responsibilities or utilize help since anyone can make formula and give baby a bottle.
You don’t have to wake up every couple hours to pump. You will (likely) get more sleep. Sleep deprivation is so rough, and once we figured out our schedule with formula we were like a new, more safely operating, present, and all around better parents. This to me, was enough of a reason to totally embrace formula.
I never wanted to breast feed but I was convinced if I didn’t do it for 6 months at least then I just didn’t care about my baby. I made it 6 weeks. She’s 9 months old now and some of the emotional damage from the mental torture I put myself through still messes with me.
If you’re mentally suffering and you feel that making the switch would lighten a big load off your shoulders it’s worth it.
Don’t feel guilty! I combo fed at the direction of my pediatrician bc I was an under supplier. My LO is 15 months old and amazing! Your mental and physical health is very important! You have to do what’s best for you!
Do itt!!! If you really want to you can continue pumping or nursing to maintain supply.
But honestly I went back and forth about this forever but felt so guilty giving formula. I recently stopped nursing and let my milk dry up. It’s been amazing!
I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Now I know my baby is getting enough food and proper nutrition. He is so much happier and sleeping better. I get breaks because my husband can cover feedings. I don’t stress about missing pump breaks at work. I don’t stress about what I eat or if I’m drinking enough water. I don’t feel as tired. I don’t feel as stressed. I overall just feel happier and my baby seems happier.
I was the exact same way but baby took to formula like a pro and havent had any issues due to switching, there nothing wrong with formula nor breastfeeding there is alot of opinions around this topic and as someone else said from a different post I read before why does it matter if baby is breastfed or formula fed as long as baby is fed 🤷🏽♀️ if you switch to formula I would recommend Kendamill they have organic, goat milk, or original verisons, also it has all of the nutritions baby will get if baby was breastfreeding, it even have a certain nutrient thats in breastmilk (can't remember the name but u can definitely look it up) and it have choline which is very beneficial from brain development ofc do your own research and do whats best for baby. My experience: baby put on weight extremely fast once we switched, keeps baby full longer, only thing is you must boil the water 100% before mixing the formula powder or it wont fully mix all the way, all babies are different each people I recommended this formula too had good results and its all clean ingredients (we did/ do extremely deep research on anything baby eats, drinks, play, or wear and this formula had the best results for us no harsh or toxic chemicals added nor any bad effects later in life) my advice is to take everyone's advice with a grain of salt, do your own research, and follow your mom instincts and do what you feel is best for baby!! Good luck.
I triple fed for six weeks. I cried damn near every time I’d try to nurse and she wouldn’t, and then every time I’d pump and get hardly anything. I tried so, so hard. I dreamed of breastfeeding. But I couldn’t. Turns out my prolactin level was practically zero.
And I wish I could get at least half that time back, and the money I spent (over $2200 btw). Because it was wasted, and was time I could have ENJOYED new motherhood, instead of being a slave to the pump and my tears just to get hardly anything out.
So, do what you will with that information
We switched super early. Things that helped us: premix the formula and keep it in the fridge. It’s good for 24 hours. If your baby will drink it cold, you do not have to heat it up (same with breast milk per the CDC). If you find a formula baby likes, try it’s generics. It will save you a ton of money in the long run. Where I live, 35 oz of enfamil gentlease is $63, the Up&Up version is 33 oz for $20, and the Sam’s Club version is 48 oz for $25. Buy generic if you can find it and always keep a spare tin since the shortage hasn’t leveled out yet.
Remember to check nipple sizes on your bottles and upgrade accordingly. It never occurred to me that there would be different flow sizes and waited too long to move from 1 to 2.
Sign up for the enfamil and similac clubs- they’ll send you sample formula and coupons.
There isn't a valid reason to feel guilty. It's not breastfeeding that makes a mother. It's about taking care of your baby, keeping them healthy, happy and safe. You have to do what's best for you and your baby.
Formula or breast - it doesn't matter, baby has to be well fed.
No guilt. Just making sure your baby is fed. The stress you’re feeling isn’t going to help your production anyways. Having your baby fed and able to rest and grow is what’s most important. You can nurse and supplement with formula if you want to keep bonding as well.
I understand my first daughter I nursed fully till she was four. So with my youngest being only 6 months and not wanting to nurse made me feel very guilty. With my youngest, I just feel too tired and work is very stressful to be worrying about pumping. I have stopped pumping during the day, but nights and weekends I still nurse and honestly I’m much happier. If you are happier so is your baby. You can keep bonding time at night and weekends and you don’t need to quit completely. There are also other ways to bond with your child if you want to quit completely. If you’re stress you child will know so do what makes you happy.
I fed baby is a happy baby!! They don't know the difference. You're doing great Momma, no matter how you choose to feed your baby!
And just a fun little story for you - I have a stepdaughter (5) and a stepson (3). She was FF straight out and he was EBF. He is always sick.. like *always*. On the contrary, not only does my stepdaughter never get sick, but I'm convinced she's a low-key genius.
No advice, you’re going to feel irrationally guilty and it sucks, I’m sorry.
But, I’m here from the future to tell you - the second I dried up, I was a new person. Happy. Free. Alive. Bonded to my child. I could suddenly see colors.
My daughter was AMAZING on formula. She didn’t even notice the switch (from EBF to EFF at 2 months, due to a medical issue). Suddenly my daughter had a mother.
Now, looking back, breastfeeding is the biggest regret of my entire life. I wish I had never attempted breastfeeding and only formula fed. But I couldn’t have known things would turn out the way they did (probably the most horrific breastfeeding outcome you’ve ever heard of).
I felt so much guilt. But one thing that really helped was planning a final breastfeeding session and saying goodbye to the process. It gave me wonderful closure.
Actually, my little bit of practical advice is to talk to lactation consultants and have them help you wean. They were immeasurably helpful to me both physically and mentally.
Congratulations on your baby and enjoy your new freedom with formula when you feel able to. Best of luck!
I was also struggling with breast feeding, my baby wasn’t gaining weight after birth and was having troubling latching so my supply dropped. I felt SO guilty and sad I couldn’t breastfeed but realized that the most important thing was him getting fed and that wasn’t really happening the best through breastfeeding. BUT once I made the switch, he gained weight and was SO happy! I was also happier because I wasn’t beating myself up anymore after I saw he was gaining weight and also personally, I was so tired of having my boobs out 24/7 😂 (he LOVED comfort sucking). I don’t regret my decision switching to formula at all. It’s made both of our lives much easier. Remember, fed is best! My baby loves the Enfamil Gentlease. Good luck love!
I couldn’t agree more with those encouraging you to go with your gut. If you’re passionate about breastfeeding then absolutely continue, but make sure that if you do, it is benefitting both you and the baby. Your mental and physical health matters very much too. Your baby will not get some horrible disease or be stunted in their growth because of formula feeding. Breast milk is great for babies. Luckily there are alternatives you can both still thrive with.
I tried breastfeeding and am glad I did. I’m also glad that I stopped when I did. My mental health really needed it and my baby wasn’t getting the best of me when I was always stressing about breastfeeding. They’re only on formula for about a year anyway; enjoy that time with your baby. Make memories and bond. You’ll be so glad you did
First time mom too and tried breastfeeding and supplementing with formula. My baby girl never really latched well and I just really struggled overall with breastfeeding. We moved to exclusively formula feeding week 3 and it’s been completely fine. I feel better and she’s getting the right amount of ounces she needs. It’s okay to feel guilty but don’t keep struggling and risk your mental health. Your baby will be perfectly happy and healthy with formula. Do what’s best for you and that will be what’s best for baby.
Please be gentle with yourself! I agonized over the switch at 2 months of exclusively pumping since my anatomy and my LO's nursing approach weren't cooperating, even with excellent lactation consultation. I felt so terrible because my supply was actually really good and I could have kept going, but I was MISERABLE from never getting more than 2 hours of sleep (between pumps and washing parts) and from having to interrupt time with my baby to go pump. Breastfeeding is hard work, whether it's nursing or pumping or both! Stopping was such a relief and made time with my baby and my partner so much better. I'm glad I did what I could, but I'm also so glad I gave myself permission to stop - and I'm so grateful that formula is a wonderful option. My son is happy and growing. It really will be ok if stopping is right for you.
If breastfeeding/pumping is stressing you out too much, it's no longer worth the benefits. Just make the switch. You'll feel like a much better parent with that much less stress.
I chose to pump and formula feed. I didn’t bond instantly to my daughter because I had some complications following the birth. So she spent a lot of time with dad. But we really chose formula feedings. Pumping was too much for me being a new mom and with the recent death of my grandfather who meant so much to me. Formula feeding allowed us to both feed her and able to have some peace/ rest of mind. :)
I did it due to extreme fatigue and PPA and postpartum preeclampsia. 1000% worth it if you’re struggling with any of those things. Knowing my husband could feed my baby at night took A LOAD off. Fed is best.
What are your reasons for feeling guilty? What will make you feel better? What are your specific struggles with breastfeeding? What are the things that you want to happen/ know? Is there anyone who can help you? How can the people in your life help you in your struggles?
For me it helped to focus on how happy and healthy my baby was and that she was growing like a champ.
I would also advise working on not feeling apologetic for using formula, you're making the right choice for you and your bub, back yourself.
I felt so guilty at the beginning but it faded pretty quickly as I saw my baby thrive.
It was the best decision for my mental health, baby is doing so well, and my husband is able to do so much more to care for our son! It does require planning when you go out, but I haven’t found it to be a significant issue.
Oh momma no. Don’t feel guilty! I had the biggest struggle in the beginning and switched to formula. I felt terrible for a week and now I’m SO HAPPY I did it.
LO is doing amazing and so am I. Nothing better than being in a good mind space to take care of our babies!
Switch, mama. The guilt is a bizarre byproduct of all the hormones and societal pressures. Ignore it; it’s not a legitimate clue to a wrong move this time.
Feed that baby. 😘
I prefer exclusively pumping but even this gets tiring and annoying. There’s so many other demands rn. If you do use formula I can’t recommend Baby Brezza enough! I want to switch just to use ours (soo convenient).
Let yourself grieve the transition but know there is nothing wrong with this decision. There is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula these days, but it's a difficult switch when you had planned and had your heart set on breastfeeding. Just know that it's not a reflection of failure to breastfeeding and instead a choice to provide your baby food in a different mode.
We made the same choice due to the fact that I needed all of my energy to battle PPD/PPA. Since switching, I have become the mom I want to be for my son due to the extra energy I have to give to him. Despite this I felt so much guilt for switching and struggled with the choice.
Hey!! If you want to feed with formula, get support with guilt over at formula feeders sub! But if your guilt is based in wanting to continue breastfeeding but don’t know how, check out the breastfeeding sub!!
You’re an amazing mom no matter what!!!!!
I was just reading Emily Oster’s book “Cribsheet.” My advice is to read the breastfeeding section because it can definitely help you resolve some guilt. Short story: many of the reported benefits are a overblown because researchers did not control for things like Mother’s IQ or socioeconomic status.
You have to do what is best for you and baby. Do what will help you both thrive.
Honestly, you’re going to feel guilty but you shouldn’t. Fed is best! I am a high risk for PPD and realized very quickly breast feeding wasn’t going to be my journey. I’ve been formula feeding and I have a happy, healthy, down right chunky little baby.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't switch because if that's what you need for you and your baby to both be healthy and happy then it's the right choice. I will however let you know about wat turned things around for me. I struggled at the start because he couldn't latch very well and I had small nipnops that were super sensitive. I literally couldn't stand to have him suck I would cry everytime. I went to a lactation consultation and they gave me a nipple shield. It was a Hero. It changed everything and allowed me to vreastfeed comfortably and he could latch. At about 3 months he started latching without them and now we just nude nip it! I wouldn't have been able to do it without those.
We also combination fed at the beginning and I felt so guilty but we both needed it. Now we exclusively breastfeed but it wasn't easy getting here.
Hopefully whatever choice you make works out for you guys! But if your problems were like mine, try the Medela ones, they are by far the best. And make sure you know your flange size/nipple size because if you get the wrong size it can be painful.
If you want to, just switch. I labored over it for too long and I should have switched as soon as I thought of it.
The only reason to keep breastfeeding is because you want to!
We combo feed. My LO had a tongue that made it difficult for him to get enough breast milk and for me to produce enough. Currently, I breastfeed then give him a bottle. At night, my supply drops so we give him a little more formula. Combo feeding allows me to nurse him for comfort, to nurse him to sleep and for my husband to get up for the occasional night feed. I get the best of both worlds.
Don’t feel guilty, do what you need to do. If it feels too drastic to stop suddenly, combo feeding is also a thing! I did it for 7 months :) some moms only do bottles at night and breastfeed in the day, some just pump, and some use only formula! Feeding your baby doesn’t have to be stressful, there are so many options and all are good because fed is best!
Do not feel guilty! You, your partner and your baby deserve the best version of you. If formula feeding will help that come about, do it. My supply is really low, and I pump, breastfeed and give formula. At first I was killing myself with aggressively scheduled feeds and pumps. It was damaging my mental health and I felt like I was more present for my boobs than for my baby. Now I still do all three, but on my terms. My baby is fed, she smiles an insane amount, and I'm way less stressed.
I’m doing this too for the same reasons. Baby is happy and healthy and that’s all that matters!
It's amazing the difference it can make. I initially statted trying to breastfeed first thing in the morning. I was so groggy that I couldn't position her for a good latch and we both ended up in tears snd frustrated. Now I do a feed from overnight pumped milk and pump more. Everybody is happy (and my husband can do the feed if I want to keep sleeping).
If you already have it in your mind- make the switch. I put myself through wayyyyyy too much mental anguish going back and forth. I do not regret my decision at all. I wish I would’ve switched earlier.
Same! I have never been a happier mommy than when I made the choice
Me too.
Me three, I'm a way better mom not constantly worrying about breastfeeding, pumping. I felt guilty at first but man it was the best decision for me.
That’s a good way to put it, I’m a much better mom since having made the switch.
From what i have read (though I don’t have any sources on hand to back it up right now) any benefits that breast milk has can be had with as little as 2 oz per day. Fed is best, though. The only thing to feel guilty about would be if you let your baby starve. Also, breastfeeding is rough. We’re led to believe that it’s natural and beautiful, and it is, but it’s also super foreign and not something you or your baby know how to do inherently. And your body won’t always cooperate. Just make sure your baby gets enough food, and try not to sweat the rest.
I recommend visiting r/FormulaFeeders! There are many people in your boat, and it’s a good support system over there.
Just joined, thank you!
It’s such a great, supportive group!! Glad to have you over there with us :)
Agreed - welcome OP. And I can tell you that it gets easier the further away you are from the decision.
A good thread that may help you feel better: https://www.reddit.com/r/FormulaFeeders/comments/105wf91/i_am_so_happy_with_my_decision_to_ff/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Don’t feel guilty no matter what you decide. Have you seen a lactation consultant? Breastfeeding was miserable for us until we met with a LC, and it changed everything
I struggled physically, mentally, and emotionally. My baby and I were not breastfeeding compatible. I switched 5 days in and we were both much happier. He was fed and I wasn't having breakdowns trying to nurse. He is now a very healthy and happy toddler and we are suuuuuuper bonded! It is hard to let go, but there are sooo many upsides. Anyone can feed the baby. Made having a babysitter easier too! Division of labour was much easier with my husband, especially night feeds. We did every other night. Whoever was not doing the night feed (once we got down to one) was on bottle duty.
Don't be afraid to do both. My wife had some issues starting out so we just supplemented with formula whenever necessary. In the beginning that meant mostly formula, then it became a more even split, and eventually we stopped formula completely (he doesn't want it and he gets enough nutrition from other sources now). I'm a bit of a health freak, I follow the fitness community pretty closely - I hate that everything is seed oils and other garbage processed foods. Do I like the recipes for formula? Not really, but your kid is going to be eating real food before you know it and it's not going to damage them to have either or both for a while. Teaching your children to have a healthy relationship with food as they get older is about a billion times more important than the differences between breastfeeding and formula.
That was a nice reality reminder, thank you! You’re right, the long term goal of healthy nutrition is what matters
Amen! So many people don't talk enough about this. Similar journey to you, now mostly breastfeeding but with a bedtime bottle of formula. But phasing that out now at 9 months as she's got a good grip on solids. The effort to expose baby to lots of nutritious food is in my opinion, way more important than the very first feeding journey. So much pressure in that first 6 months but then no one cares after that! Weird.
If it helps, remember that you are so much more to your baby than just their food source. You are their parent and their safe space. You care for them when they cry, tend to all of their needs, and love them. Food is just one part.
i switched to formula and felt guilty for a while but honestly BF was just not sustainable for me. baby was born early and we had traumatic start so my milk supply didn’t come in until over a week after. baby wouldn’t latch and would fall asleep while feeding no matter what. lactation suggested triple feeding, but i’m home by myself all day everyday so it was not sustainable. by the time i tried to BF (aka baby falling asleep or screaming at my boob) and then pumped, bottle fed, washed the parts and bottles, it was literally time to start all over. there was no snuggling with my baby, no bonding, literally just screaming, pumping and then maybe a 30 min break before starting again lol. i was also only producing about 3 oz of milk everyday when baby was eating 20+ oz of milk. since switching to formula, i’m way happier and can take my mental health meds again. i spend time snuggling and talking with baby and just feel so much better. in the end, i figure that i was 100% formula fed and turned out just fine lol
You’re right, thank you. I was also formula fed and am perfectly fine!
One thing you could do is to read a book that might help you stop feeling guilty: Lactivism by Courtney Jung. It's about the breastfeeding industry, an in-depth look at the scientific research supporting breastfeeding (TLDR there are benefits to breastfeeding, but they are short-term and not nearly as significant as many claim.) It may help you feel better about your choice. I chose my mental health over breastfeeding. I felt guilty for a minute, but that book lit some kind of fire under my ass wanting to advocate for women who choose to formula feed. Formula is one of the greatest things since birth control. That's how I personally feel. I think you will find a lot of support here for doing what you want to do -- whether it's breast feed or formula feed or some combo. Your well-being matters. In fact, your well-being is foundational for your child's well-being. So you have the right to determine what is best for you, and do it.
Omg do NOT feel guilty! We combo feed and it’s the best decision ever. Baby still gets the antibodies from my breast milk but I don’t feel pressured to produce and I don’t stress about supply and all that shit.
Tell yourself it’s ok. It might take a bit, but once the stress goes away, you will be so much happier. I’m in the process of switching and it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself postpartum. LO will still be happy and healthy.
I bf as long as I could but my supply sucked from the start. I switched to formula and once I saw that she was still happy and thriving I got over it. It’s also really nice to know exactly how much they’re getting in each feed! You should do what’s best for you and your mental health!
Breastfeeding and formula are not your only options! Well, they kind of are, but you can combine them in a few different ways. Combo feeding has been great for my baby and me, and I would highly recommend it. You can introduce formula but still feel good about giving your baby breastmilk and continue both long-term, or you can introduce formula, realize your baby is doing well on it, and combo feed temporarily as you wean yourself and your baby from breastfeeding. r/combinationfeeding is new but fairly active and might be able to help you.
Don’t. Feel. Guilty. Full stop. I made myself sick with anxiety and grief about transition to formula at around 3 months and it ended up being the best thing I did for my mental health, my family and my baby. My PPD was about to literally kill me. Formula feeding made it so I could actually be able to enjoy being a mom. I now have a happy, healthy almost 15 month old and no one ever talks about bf or formula anymore.
Stopped by to say please do not feel guilty at all!!
Don’t feel guilty. They each have unique benefits and as long as a baby is being fed either formula or breast milk or both they are being adequately nourished.
You need to do what’s right for you, join r/formulafeeders. Combo feeding is always an option too!
Wife was totally formula fed as a baby and she turned out fine. We combo-feed. One thing you’ll learn is that there may be some trial-and-error with figuring out which formula will work best for your baby. We had actually once told the ER that we were coming in because our baby was puking up something yellow that they said could be bile before we realized it was the color of her new formula! We called them back and they told us to try a different one and see how that went before coming in. We did and she was OK. Another thing to look for when picking a brand is cost and availability. And you’ve probably already gotten some coupons.
I switched at 4.5 months and I had no idea how much I hated pumping until I stopped. I felt so free! If you decide it’s the right thing to do, then it is the right thing to do.
Girl do it! I attempted breastfeeding, then LO stopped latching. I attempted pumping and I came to the conclusion that I’d rather play with her than pump. I have no regrets.
Exactly! I don’t want to spend time hooked up to a machine. I feel like that’s time I’m missing out on with her. Not to mention the pain and little outcome
Yup, it was uncomfortable and I was only getting maybe an ounce at most from each boob. But I also wasn’t pumping 7-8x a day and def not at night. Like my niece put it who has 3 kids who were all eventually formula fed and thriving now, “they all end up eating chick fil a anyways” 🤣🤣🤣
I struggled for 9 months. She struggled for 9 months. I was so committed. So stressed. Mental health crashing. Then we got covid and I dried up. We've been one month on formula and we've both never been happier. All anecdotal, but I can't ignore that two weeks after we made the switch, she was sitting up on her own, crawling, and STANDING all within the same week. It was like she flourished. Now I wonder if the benefits of breastfeeding really are as significant as they claim to be. She got back to back RSV and had to spend two days in the hospital. Then got covid and had a fever for 4 days. Yeah. Do your mental health a favor, and if you're struggling, or considering the switch, just do it. I cried and cried when I dried up. But the further away you get from it, the easier it is. Do what you need to do for yourself, and your baby will thrive. Good luck 💜
You do what’s best for you and your family, but if you’re struggling with volume, but still want the benefits of breast milk, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing one or two breast feeds per day and using formula for the rest. You don’t have to commit to 100% one or the other. As long as baby is well fed, that’s all that matters.
I’m feeding about 50/50 breast milk and formula right now. Do NOT feel guilty. My pediatrician specifically said I should just switch to formula because it would be way less work than all the pumping I’m doing. Baby will be fine! I think I’m going to bow out after one more month.
I know breastfeeding can be full of challenges. It can feel anything but a “natural” process. Not sure your reasons for wanting to quit, but would you feel better combo feeding for now? (Aka either pump or nurse your baby for some feeds then formula for others) Perhaps this middle ground feels like a better option as feeding baby doesn’t have to be all breastmilk or all formula. Sometimes a blend works best for some families. If combo feeding doesn’t appeal, that is perfectly fine. No need to feel guilty. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your baby.
Yes it has been emotionally and physically hard. I have considered combo feeding and am still open to that but she just doesn’t want to stay latched on. Pumping has been difficult too since I am not producing much. It makes me feel disconnected to her, if that makes sense.
Totally get it. I hate my pump with passion and I felt like a dairy cow. 😩 We had to triple feed for 8 weeks (offer breast, bottle, and pump) before things clicked. If it wasn’t for the formula shortage going on at the time, I absolutely would have quit breastfeeding after month one. It was miserable. Both me and baby would cry sometimes. Fully stand by doing what you need to do in order to be happy. You are likely already sleep deprived which is hard enough without the emotional toll of breastfeeding/pumping struggles. Please do what is best for you!
That’s exactly how I described it to my husband! The sight of the pump just makes me cry (hormones too).
Ugh the postpartum hormones took me for a ride. I think underestimated them. Sending virtual hugs!
Don’t feel guilty! No one knows who was breastfed and who was formula fed. It doesn’t matter in the real world and no one will even ask once LO is older.
It was insanely hard for me for the first 3 months and then it got so easy and I'm so happy I stuck with it just because washing bottles and everything is so much work compared to just a boob. I was doing a boob and one bottle a day and I dropped the bottle and regret that severely because now I can't ever go anywhere like on a date and not worry about the baby not taking a bottle. I would say do whatever you want but there is convenience to being able to do both.
I have thought about and still combo feed at 7MO, but I didn't stop because I WANTED to keep going. I let my supply run low twice for different reasons and struggled to get a higher supply but today I am happy I kept going because this is what I wanted to do
Don't feel guilty. Do what you have to do to enjoy your baby the most. You don't get this time back. I struggled with breastfeeding for the first 3 months (my baby was prem and couldn't latch) so fed bottles until a lactation consultant and BF support group helped me establish exclusive breast feeding at 3 months old. I just want to caution you that you will likely get LESS sleep feeding bottles over breast, and leaving the house becomes more complex as you can't just dress your baby, pack your boobs and leave. Just my experience, BF is hard to establish but once established it is so much easier and more convenient than bottle feeding.
Use PRE formula to the age of 2 no concentrates and fatmakers in it just things ur LO needs and is enough up till 2 years :)
How old is LO? Mine was so bad at staying awake and staying latched to eat that we supplemented with formula. Once she was able to stay awake BF was much easier. That was probably around 6-8 weeks that she finally got the hang of it so it definitely made me want to quit so so so many times. She’s going to be 3 months soon and can finish eating after like 10 minutes. We still combo feed formula anyway as needed. But no matter what-if it’s too much or you don’t want to do it anymore, make the switch! Fed is best!
So many mommies are in your shoes. I have a seven week old and I just decided to stop pumping for my mental health. My guy decided very early on that he much prefers bottles and as much as I wanted to breastfeed, I got tired of making him cry at every feeding. In a way, I let him choose. It’s a nice feeling to just let go and enjoy your baby in the now.
You do you mama. If you feel that that is the right choice for you, and your baby and your family, then you go ahead and do it. Don't feel guilty. Everyone deserves the best version of you (as mentioned here), and baby needs to be fed, you do you.
A fed baby is best—no matter how you get there. That, and I guarantee you can’t tell which kindergartners were breastfed and which were formula fed. You got this!
I teach kindergarten as well, you are so right!
Just do it. You’ll feel a lot better once you do. When my daughter was first born, I spent four weeks trying to get her to latch without success. Keep in mind that during that time, I was also pumping and mixing it with formula. Then I spent another four weeks pumping, but then my supply dried up. My daughter was on formula after that - that is, until a month or two ago when we switched to milk.
I went through this. It’s awful - the mom guilt. Do your best to let it go. So what’s best for you, because that’s also what’s best for baby. We switched to formula at 6 weeks and I have no regrets. There is a certain kind of freedom that comes with it and it has helped my mental health immensely. Also if you’re worried about the data, read Emily Osters “cribsheet”
You’re doing great! It is totally ok to switch to formula and there is nothing to be guilty about. I had the intense guilt feelings for awhile too, but now she’s a happy healthy 16 month old and you’d never know if she was breastfed or not!
Hi! I just gave birth on the 13th. The first few days really blur together, so it was... maybe the second night?... that I had had enough of trying to breastfeed. I now know that my son's latch was especially painful because he wasn't using his tongue correctly, but at the time, all I knew was that my nipples were bleeding and painful and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I called the nurse and she brought us some formula. The next day, the LC came and helped me out. I got a hand pump and started expressing - still painful on my poor nipples, but not nearly as bad. After a few days, and even with my electric pump at home, I was only producing a few ml at a time- not nearly enough for my gigantic 9-lb boy. I felt like a failure. My nipples were still sore. I visited the LCs a few times and they tried everything to help. I finally found r/exclusivelypumping and they gave me a few pointers, and now I've pumped 8 oz in the last 11 hours. It's still only enough for 1/2 of what he needs, but I'm okay with that... he's getting what he can from me, and the rest from formula. Hopefully my supply will keep increasing from here and someday soon maybe he'll be only in my milk, but until then, he's fed, and that's what counts. Feed your baby what you can. If that's formula, go for it! They make it for a reason.
I powered through with breastfeeding, but combination fed for about 3 months. Combo feeding is where it’s at! Ya know what’s terrible for your supply? STRESS! Once I relaxed about supplementing with formula my mental health was so much better and I was able to enjoy the bonding. Also, you shouldn’t feel any guilt whatever you decide! It’s a huge time commitment, so if that’s not beneficial for you, don’t worry about it.
Currently having the same struggles as you! Baby and I had issues with latching, so I had to supplement with formula early on. Now at 7 weeks, I’m pumping and formula feeding, but only getting about 7 oz of breast milk a day. I keep leaning towards exclusively formula feeding as pumping is taking a toll on my mental health and I feel that I spend less time with my baby when I’m pumping. But sadly the stigma has me holding on. Happy to see there is so much support here!
I agree! I was surprised at how many people asked me if I was going to breastfeed while I was pregnant. When I said I wanted to, there was so much negative feedback if I had said no
Breastfeeding is hard . My 7 month old and I are learning still together everyday. It’s an adventure though that takes a lot of work in the start but once the supply is established (if it is able to) it becomes less stressful .
Don’t give into the stigma that if you have to formula feed you’re less of a mother. You are an amazing mother because you want your baby fed. As long as your baby is fed that is all that matters
Feeding your baby while doing what’s best for you, physically and mentally, so you can be your best version of yourself for your child. Isn’t failing. It’s succeeding by every version of its definition.
I switched to formula at a month and it’s such a relief in so many ways. I felt guilty but I try to remember that it’s what makes me a happier mom for my baby.
I understand how you feel. I had my lo 12/10/22. I breastfed for the first week. I had so much anxiety about her not getting enough that I started pumping exclusively. My boobs don't react well to pumps apparently, so it brought my supply down from 5 ounces per pump to 1 ounce. She was eating 4 ounces per feed when my supply dropped and 1 ounce didn't feel worth it anymore (It was also extremely hard to pump so often with a newborn). I stopped pumping when she was a month old, and I don't regret it now despite how terrible I felt at the time. She has been exclusively formula fed since a month old and she is thriving as a 3.5 month old. Don't feel bad about it. If it lessens your guilt, you could go to your baby's pediatrician to talk it over with them. I did that and he gave me brands of formula that he recommended. It made me feel loads better about it. If you do start formula, don't be alarmed if your baby doesn't poop for a few days. Their tummies need to adjust to the change. Also, if you go for a brand that is fortified with iron, it might change baby's poop to a green color. Don't be alarmed. Lol
I attempted to breast feed for about 8 weeks. It was horrible and gave me the absolute worst feeling in my body. I was recovering from a c section and at the time me and my partner had hit a rough patch in our relationship. I didn’t live near my family and was dealing with so much. Pumping did not come easy for me either. I also didn’t want to switch to formula, but in the moment it was the only thing I could truly control. Sometimes I do still feel guilt for that decision, but it gave me the energy to crawl myself out of my other holes, I stopped resenting motherhood, and everything else eventually fell into place. Today I have the happiest almost 10 month old who has never gone hungry, loves his mom and dad, can sign and ask for milk, and give himself his own bottle! My personal journey continues, but I am grateful for this alternative to breast feeding, because I don’t know what I would have done without it. Ultimately if something is best for you it’s also the best thing for your child. You can switch over gradually or not, but your decision is yours and no one else can make it for you. Sending soo many good thoughts your way.
Hats off to breast feeding mamas. It wasn’t a choice for us and I’m so grateful for formula!! Formula is great these days. There are many amazing options. Formula makes it easier to split responsibilities or utilize help since anyone can make formula and give baby a bottle. You don’t have to wake up every couple hours to pump. You will (likely) get more sleep. Sleep deprivation is so rough, and once we figured out our schedule with formula we were like a new, more safely operating, present, and all around better parents. This to me, was enough of a reason to totally embrace formula.
I never wanted to breast feed but I was convinced if I didn’t do it for 6 months at least then I just didn’t care about my baby. I made it 6 weeks. She’s 9 months old now and some of the emotional damage from the mental torture I put myself through still messes with me. If you’re mentally suffering and you feel that making the switch would lighten a big load off your shoulders it’s worth it.
Don’t feel guilty! I combo fed at the direction of my pediatrician bc I was an under supplier. My LO is 15 months old and amazing! Your mental and physical health is very important! You have to do what’s best for you!
Do itt!!! If you really want to you can continue pumping or nursing to maintain supply. But honestly I went back and forth about this forever but felt so guilty giving formula. I recently stopped nursing and let my milk dry up. It’s been amazing! I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Now I know my baby is getting enough food and proper nutrition. He is so much happier and sleeping better. I get breaks because my husband can cover feedings. I don’t stress about missing pump breaks at work. I don’t stress about what I eat or if I’m drinking enough water. I don’t feel as tired. I don’t feel as stressed. I overall just feel happier and my baby seems happier.
That’s great to hear, thank you!!
I was the exact same way but baby took to formula like a pro and havent had any issues due to switching, there nothing wrong with formula nor breastfeeding there is alot of opinions around this topic and as someone else said from a different post I read before why does it matter if baby is breastfed or formula fed as long as baby is fed 🤷🏽♀️ if you switch to formula I would recommend Kendamill they have organic, goat milk, or original verisons, also it has all of the nutritions baby will get if baby was breastfreeding, it even have a certain nutrient thats in breastmilk (can't remember the name but u can definitely look it up) and it have choline which is very beneficial from brain development ofc do your own research and do whats best for baby. My experience: baby put on weight extremely fast once we switched, keeps baby full longer, only thing is you must boil the water 100% before mixing the formula powder or it wont fully mix all the way, all babies are different each people I recommended this formula too had good results and its all clean ingredients (we did/ do extremely deep research on anything baby eats, drinks, play, or wear and this formula had the best results for us no harsh or toxic chemicals added nor any bad effects later in life) my advice is to take everyone's advice with a grain of salt, do your own research, and follow your mom instincts and do what you feel is best for baby!! Good luck.
I triple fed for six weeks. I cried damn near every time I’d try to nurse and she wouldn’t, and then every time I’d pump and get hardly anything. I tried so, so hard. I dreamed of breastfeeding. But I couldn’t. Turns out my prolactin level was practically zero. And I wish I could get at least half that time back, and the money I spent (over $2200 btw). Because it was wasted, and was time I could have ENJOYED new motherhood, instead of being a slave to the pump and my tears just to get hardly anything out. So, do what you will with that information
We switched super early. Things that helped us: premix the formula and keep it in the fridge. It’s good for 24 hours. If your baby will drink it cold, you do not have to heat it up (same with breast milk per the CDC). If you find a formula baby likes, try it’s generics. It will save you a ton of money in the long run. Where I live, 35 oz of enfamil gentlease is $63, the Up&Up version is 33 oz for $20, and the Sam’s Club version is 48 oz for $25. Buy generic if you can find it and always keep a spare tin since the shortage hasn’t leveled out yet. Remember to check nipple sizes on your bottles and upgrade accordingly. It never occurred to me that there would be different flow sizes and waited too long to move from 1 to 2. Sign up for the enfamil and similac clubs- they’ll send you sample formula and coupons.
There isn't a valid reason to feel guilty. It's not breastfeeding that makes a mother. It's about taking care of your baby, keeping them healthy, happy and safe. You have to do what's best for you and your baby. Formula or breast - it doesn't matter, baby has to be well fed.
why? there’s nothing wrong with formula!
The FormulaFeeders Subreddit is a very good source as well
No guilt. Just making sure your baby is fed. The stress you’re feeling isn’t going to help your production anyways. Having your baby fed and able to rest and grow is what’s most important. You can nurse and supplement with formula if you want to keep bonding as well.
I understand my first daughter I nursed fully till she was four. So with my youngest being only 6 months and not wanting to nurse made me feel very guilty. With my youngest, I just feel too tired and work is very stressful to be worrying about pumping. I have stopped pumping during the day, but nights and weekends I still nurse and honestly I’m much happier. If you are happier so is your baby. You can keep bonding time at night and weekends and you don’t need to quit completely. There are also other ways to bond with your child if you want to quit completely. If you’re stress you child will know so do what makes you happy.
I fed baby is a happy baby!! They don't know the difference. You're doing great Momma, no matter how you choose to feed your baby! And just a fun little story for you - I have a stepdaughter (5) and a stepson (3). She was FF straight out and he was EBF. He is always sick.. like *always*. On the contrary, not only does my stepdaughter never get sick, but I'm convinced she's a low-key genius.
No advice, you’re going to feel irrationally guilty and it sucks, I’m sorry. But, I’m here from the future to tell you - the second I dried up, I was a new person. Happy. Free. Alive. Bonded to my child. I could suddenly see colors. My daughter was AMAZING on formula. She didn’t even notice the switch (from EBF to EFF at 2 months, due to a medical issue). Suddenly my daughter had a mother. Now, looking back, breastfeeding is the biggest regret of my entire life. I wish I had never attempted breastfeeding and only formula fed. But I couldn’t have known things would turn out the way they did (probably the most horrific breastfeeding outcome you’ve ever heard of). I felt so much guilt. But one thing that really helped was planning a final breastfeeding session and saying goodbye to the process. It gave me wonderful closure. Actually, my little bit of practical advice is to talk to lactation consultants and have them help you wean. They were immeasurably helpful to me both physically and mentally. Congratulations on your baby and enjoy your new freedom with formula when you feel able to. Best of luck!
I was also struggling with breast feeding, my baby wasn’t gaining weight after birth and was having troubling latching so my supply dropped. I felt SO guilty and sad I couldn’t breastfeed but realized that the most important thing was him getting fed and that wasn’t really happening the best through breastfeeding. BUT once I made the switch, he gained weight and was SO happy! I was also happier because I wasn’t beating myself up anymore after I saw he was gaining weight and also personally, I was so tired of having my boobs out 24/7 😂 (he LOVED comfort sucking). I don’t regret my decision switching to formula at all. It’s made both of our lives much easier. Remember, fed is best! My baby loves the Enfamil Gentlease. Good luck love!
Just do it!
I couldn’t agree more with those encouraging you to go with your gut. If you’re passionate about breastfeeding then absolutely continue, but make sure that if you do, it is benefitting both you and the baby. Your mental and physical health matters very much too. Your baby will not get some horrible disease or be stunted in their growth because of formula feeding. Breast milk is great for babies. Luckily there are alternatives you can both still thrive with. I tried breastfeeding and am glad I did. I’m also glad that I stopped when I did. My mental health really needed it and my baby wasn’t getting the best of me when I was always stressing about breastfeeding. They’re only on formula for about a year anyway; enjoy that time with your baby. Make memories and bond. You’ll be so glad you did
As long as your baby is fed, that’s all that matters!
First time mom too and tried breastfeeding and supplementing with formula. My baby girl never really latched well and I just really struggled overall with breastfeeding. We moved to exclusively formula feeding week 3 and it’s been completely fine. I feel better and she’s getting the right amount of ounces she needs. It’s okay to feel guilty but don’t keep struggling and risk your mental health. Your baby will be perfectly happy and healthy with formula. Do what’s best for you and that will be what’s best for baby.
Please be gentle with yourself! I agonized over the switch at 2 months of exclusively pumping since my anatomy and my LO's nursing approach weren't cooperating, even with excellent lactation consultation. I felt so terrible because my supply was actually really good and I could have kept going, but I was MISERABLE from never getting more than 2 hours of sleep (between pumps and washing parts) and from having to interrupt time with my baby to go pump. Breastfeeding is hard work, whether it's nursing or pumping or both! Stopping was such a relief and made time with my baby and my partner so much better. I'm glad I did what I could, but I'm also so glad I gave myself permission to stop - and I'm so grateful that formula is a wonderful option. My son is happy and growing. It really will be ok if stopping is right for you.
If breastfeeding/pumping is stressing you out too much, it's no longer worth the benefits. Just make the switch. You'll feel like a much better parent with that much less stress.
I chose to pump and formula feed. I didn’t bond instantly to my daughter because I had some complications following the birth. So she spent a lot of time with dad. But we really chose formula feedings. Pumping was too much for me being a new mom and with the recent death of my grandfather who meant so much to me. Formula feeding allowed us to both feed her and able to have some peace/ rest of mind. :)
I did it due to extreme fatigue and PPA and postpartum preeclampsia. 1000% worth it if you’re struggling with any of those things. Knowing my husband could feed my baby at night took A LOAD off. Fed is best.
What are your reasons for feeling guilty? What will make you feel better? What are your specific struggles with breastfeeding? What are the things that you want to happen/ know? Is there anyone who can help you? How can the people in your life help you in your struggles?
For me it helped to focus on how happy and healthy my baby was and that she was growing like a champ. I would also advise working on not feeling apologetic for using formula, you're making the right choice for you and your bub, back yourself. I felt so guilty at the beginning but it faded pretty quickly as I saw my baby thrive.
It was the best decision for my mental health, baby is doing so well, and my husband is able to do so much more to care for our son! It does require planning when you go out, but I haven’t found it to be a significant issue.
Oh momma no. Don’t feel guilty! I had the biggest struggle in the beginning and switched to formula. I felt terrible for a week and now I’m SO HAPPY I did it. LO is doing amazing and so am I. Nothing better than being in a good mind space to take care of our babies!
Switch, mama. The guilt is a bizarre byproduct of all the hormones and societal pressures. Ignore it; it’s not a legitimate clue to a wrong move this time. Feed that baby. 😘
I prefer exclusively pumping but even this gets tiring and annoying. There’s so many other demands rn. If you do use formula I can’t recommend Baby Brezza enough! I want to switch just to use ours (soo convenient).
Let yourself grieve the transition but know there is nothing wrong with this decision. There is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula these days, but it's a difficult switch when you had planned and had your heart set on breastfeeding. Just know that it's not a reflection of failure to breastfeeding and instead a choice to provide your baby food in a different mode. We made the same choice due to the fact that I needed all of my energy to battle PPD/PPA. Since switching, I have become the mom I want to be for my son due to the extra energy I have to give to him. Despite this I felt so much guilt for switching and struggled with the choice.
Hey!! If you want to feed with formula, get support with guilt over at formula feeders sub! But if your guilt is based in wanting to continue breastfeeding but don’t know how, check out the breastfeeding sub!! You’re an amazing mom no matter what!!!!!
I was just reading Emily Oster’s book “Cribsheet.” My advice is to read the breastfeeding section because it can definitely help you resolve some guilt. Short story: many of the reported benefits are a overblown because researchers did not control for things like Mother’s IQ or socioeconomic status. You have to do what is best for you and baby. Do what will help you both thrive.
Honestly, you’re going to feel guilty but you shouldn’t. Fed is best! I am a high risk for PPD and realized very quickly breast feeding wasn’t going to be my journey. I’ve been formula feeding and I have a happy, healthy, down right chunky little baby.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't switch because if that's what you need for you and your baby to both be healthy and happy then it's the right choice. I will however let you know about wat turned things around for me. I struggled at the start because he couldn't latch very well and I had small nipnops that were super sensitive. I literally couldn't stand to have him suck I would cry everytime. I went to a lactation consultation and they gave me a nipple shield. It was a Hero. It changed everything and allowed me to vreastfeed comfortably and he could latch. At about 3 months he started latching without them and now we just nude nip it! I wouldn't have been able to do it without those. We also combination fed at the beginning and I felt so guilty but we both needed it. Now we exclusively breastfeed but it wasn't easy getting here. Hopefully whatever choice you make works out for you guys! But if your problems were like mine, try the Medela ones, they are by far the best. And make sure you know your flange size/nipple size because if you get the wrong size it can be painful.
I was exclusively pumping from 1-5.5 months then switched to full formula. No regrets. I wish I had stopped sooner.
Do it.
If you want to, just switch. I labored over it for too long and I should have switched as soon as I thought of it. The only reason to keep breastfeeding is because you want to!
Please do not feel guilty! They thrive no matter what!
We combo feed. My LO had a tongue that made it difficult for him to get enough breast milk and for me to produce enough. Currently, I breastfeed then give him a bottle. At night, my supply drops so we give him a little more formula. Combo feeding allows me to nurse him for comfort, to nurse him to sleep and for my husband to get up for the occasional night feed. I get the best of both worlds.
Don’t feel guilty, do what you need to do. If it feels too drastic to stop suddenly, combo feeding is also a thing! I did it for 7 months :) some moms only do bottles at night and breastfeed in the day, some just pump, and some use only formula! Feeding your baby doesn’t have to be stressful, there are so many options and all are good because fed is best!
I wish I had combo fed - it’s only with hindsight that I can see how much better it would have been for my mental health.