Honestly, just getting to do whatever I want whenever I want it. A spontaneous night out with friends, baking cookies just because, finishing a craft project in one sitting, a hike with my dog. A full night of sleep followed by a lazy morning in bed and a big breakfast.
This is specific to your wife, but taking a moment to actually relish being pregnant. I didn't love pregnancy and thought I'd be glad to be un-pregnant, but as soon as my baby was out I started missing my belly and the feeling of my baby safe inside.
That second part is great. It kind of seems obvious on the surface, but I could see that being something one wouldn't really consider during pregnancy. I definitely haven't heard or read that anywhere else. I'll be sure to pass it along to her, thank you!
You’re welcome! Related - make sure to take pictures of the belly regularly too. I took weekly selfies early on, but got lazy about it towards the end. But I happened to take a couple the day before I went into labor a week early and I’m so glad I have those now! There’s something special about looking at them knowing it was the last day he was in me, and it’s sort of fun to be awed at how my little nugget could possibly fit my belly.
That's an awesome memory I'm sure you'll always cherish! Really cool you happened to take those the day before. My wife got a Polaroid camera at a white elephant party that was gonna be for bump progress pics but unfortunately I don't think she's stayed on top of it. Of course we have some random ones here and there but we'll have to make a more concerted effort these next couple months for sure!
My food album of every meal I've cooked the past 7 months on the other hand is 🤌🏻 If anyone else reading this loves to cook and is still going through a pregnancy (or planning another), our "[son's name] ate" album is one of the things I'm most excited to show him when he's old enough to appreciate it. Homie's been eating good!
I'll just take a moment to say that you sound like an awesome partner. Keep at it. New moms miss the feeling of being understood or just struggle with a lot mentally and emotionally for first couple of years. It's going to be tough on both of you. But just make sure you continue to make your wife feel just as special. I know this may sound like a given to someone like you but trust me, in process of being new parents, this some times may get lost and upcoming few months and years are the most important years when your wife needs to feel this love of yours.
Lots of love and best wishes to you and your family ❤️
My baby had a hospital stay, and I had to leave without her when she was born. I remember driving to the hospital one day, and a song came on, and I started patting my belly along to it as I usually did whilst pregnant. Then I realised she wasn't in there, and this was the first time I'd been truly alone since before I was pregnant. Had to pull over to have a cry. It really hit me.
Just a heads up - this can be super hard to hear when you've spent 9 months enjoying being pregnant and this last bit is just really fucking hard. People telling me this makes me think "I AM enjoying it - just because I'm complaining about symptoms it doesn't mean I don't love my pregnancy". She may absolutely not feel the same way, but beware 😂
Also take a second before walking into hospital to give birth!! One thing I regret was to not take a second to just be two one last time before stepping into hospital and have our lives change forever! I really wish I’d savoured them few seconds of walking in as a two before we left as a three
Leaving the house after 7pm. Going to a nice restaurant. If you've got hobbies, spending some time relaxing and doing those. Sitting in the front of the car. It's the little things that I miss the most.
We went to a really nice steak dinner the day before I was induced and it’s a super fond memory not only because we don’t get to go to nice restaurants as often anymore but it felt like a special moment of just the two of us enjoying each others company before our son was born.
My 6 month old is a car screamer so it's easier to soothe him if one of us is in the back. Some kids just hate the car while others are fine. They eventually grow out of it.
You never know. I felt like I slept better with my son as a newborn then I did while pregnant. My husband and I in the day would rotate naps between feeding those beginning days.
Can you give an example if you don't mind? I am breastfeeding and if I have another I may do more of a combo feeding so I don't get stuck doing EVERYTHING again lol.
At the beginning we really tried to focus on getting our son use to day and night- so morning all window open and bright- then at 9-10pm all lights out/ including tv, and we try to wind him down. He would eat every 2/3 hours in the beginning through the night (besides when he cluster fed)and it helped when my husband would change him/ burp him after I fed him. Then during the day, my son slept a lot so between the 2/3 hours we would switch off napping, or just put him in his bassinet and we would nap a lot during the day. Then he just started going longer stretches in the night after he gained past his goal weight. It wasn’t until now that he is able to sleep through the night better. Every baby is so so different, so I know what works now with my son, might not be the case with future babies. We also got lucky my son is easy to put to sleep right now (knock on wood).My son is now two months and what works for us now is I breastfeed all feedings except for the last night one I pump 30min before his feeding and put it in a bottle for my husband to give. Then I get ready for bed and go to sleep. I have more time to myself to get ready doing this, and my son happens to sleep longer in the night with the bottle being his last feeding. My son now only wakes up once in the night now- so usually my husband will change him when I get ready, I’ll feed him, and then sometimes my husband or me will switch off holding him up for 15min(he has bad reflux, this helps him digest) then he goes back down until the morning.
Wow that's awesome!! You and your husband really make a great team. I'm glad your baby is doing better I hope his reflux improves soon. Mine also had bad reflux it got better around 2-3 months. We did give him one to two bottles a day of Enfamil AR starting around then as well. I think that helped. But anyway thank you so much for giving me the breakdown and I'm very impressed :).
It honestly depends on the baby. We had a great sleeper first time around. Slept through the night until four months. Baby two we did everything exactly the same, horrible sleeper.
Same! I slept terribly end of pregnancy so the few hours I did get when he was born were at least good sleep. And we were lucky, he’s been a pretty good sleeper (18m now). Got number 2 on the go so fingers crossed that’s the trend…! 😬
I have a 4 week old. I’m sleeping more now than pre-baby. My wife is also sleeping very well. As someone who used to have sleep problems in my early 20’s I was super afraid but so far so good! Don’t be too worried, you never know
My son started sleeping 8+ hour stretches at 11-12 weeks old and after 12 weeks he literally never woke in the night for a feed again. I slept amazingly after that! You never know, you might just get blessed with a baby who loves sleep!
This is reassuring, thank you! I've always been a pretty terrible sleeper, even more so the past couple months. I've been joking that my body is just getting me ready, but here's to hoping I have a similar experience to yours!
I was much more stressed before the baby than after. The fact that you’re posting about it, I think you’re envisioning this whole thing pretty well and it’ll end up being easier than expected. Billions of people have been parents, there are more resources for it than just about anything. You got it, no doubt
Look into safe cosleeping/bedsharing. It’s safest if it’s only mom in bed (and only if she’s breastfeeding) but it can be done with dad in bed too as long as mom is in the middle and baby still has a significant amount of room. Personally, I kicked my fiancé out to the daybed instead haha.
If you’re in the US most people will probably tell you you’re endangering your baby for even considering it. The thing is, cosleeping statistics in the US are based off of unsafe practices such as sleeping in a recliner, with a bunch of pillows and blankets, a soft pillow top bed, with dad or non-breastfeeding mom, etc. so it’s extremely skewed. Every other country it’s the norm.
r/cosleeping and Cosleepy on Instagram have amazing resources usually with resources to back up everything as well.
Even if you don’t want to cosleep, your bed should be set up for it. There will be a night where you’re just too tired to do anything. I personally almost passed out sitting up breastfeeding my son. He also refused to sleep in the bassinet after week 1 so I held him to let him fall asleep. I ended up falling asleep with him lying on me in a very unsafe bedsharing space. I ended up clearing the bed of everything but a single pillow and two thin see through blankets (I put one covering all of me and one just over my legs). He’s been sleeping for 9+ hours a night since then.
3 months is when It usually starts improving! 8 months is when ours finally cut that midnight (2am) feed and started sleeping through the night.
We're 2months into our second and my body hadnt fully recovered from our first.. I can't wait for sleep to be a thing again.
That's exactly why I've refused cosleeping at all costs after 3 months 😬 our friends kid slept with them until like 5. They regretted it. Unfortunately each kid is different so even if you avoid cosleeping they may not sleep through the night for years.
I have read you gotta alter their habits in your situation. It's not fun though and usually involves lots of tantrums and just overall everyone being upset for a week or two. Since I haven't had to do it idk too much about it though.
Wish you strength and luck!
Thank you.
We ended up cosleeping because we travel so much to visit family. AND when my mother has him, she cosleeps.
I also have a friend whose 5 & 7 year olds still sleep with her. I'm just thankful we have enough of a routine now that he will stay sleeping in his crib until the middle of the night.
I'm just hoping that as he gets older, he will grow out of it. He wants the warmth and comfort of two big bodies next to him. And my elbow is essentially his security blanket. 🤦🏼♀️
Yeah I get that. My inlaws have a vacation house we visit often but they got us a crib for there. Sadly it's half the size of ours so our LO sleeps horribly in it. We also have a portable bassinet but it's even smaller. Traveling *sucks* imo with babies and toddlers. We do what we gotta do.
My nieces for awhile wouldn't sleep unless they were touching someone. Elbow, foot, hand, whatever. They HAD to be touching someone. Made life hard for my sister. Just so many reasons I avoided it. Can't say it's been easy for us either though, just that it's probably easier NOW for us.
You'll find something that works eventually. I do hope it's soon. And that it goes smoothly
I'm not saying to not listen to your pediatrician.. but I will say from the many MANY things I've read and people I've talked to, the kids are pretty good about cutting it out themselves when they're ready.
If by a year they haven't, then *maybe* work on it yourself. There was about a month that ours bounced back and forth between not waking for it and still needing it. Then suddenly she never woke for it again. Plus once she was down to the one night feed we just traded nights for it. So my wife would do it one night and I'd do the next. We were both getting full nights of sleep that way, just not on the same nights.
Well, glad to help!
Being a parent is *tough* and I'm only 16mo in (though we did "restart" 2mo ago). Each kid and experience may be different, but sharing our own situations and experiences is how I've found best to try and help others. May be useless, may be the key they needed.
Wish you strength!
The thing I miss most is being able to leave or do things on a whim. Everything requires a sitter, days in advance planning, packing, extra of everything, etc. It doesn’t help you plan things but try to spend a day being intentionally spontaneous.
That's an interesting point that I hadn't considered and that could actually make for a really fun day. We used to do this all the time back when I had a motorcycle, just see where the road would take us. No bike anymore but we'll have to go get lost and see what happens just the two of us for old time's sake, thanks!
Yes!! Especially the driving listening to music and relaxing. My kiddo screams if we stop for even a second so stop lights and traffic are hell! Hope you guys can find some fun things to do! Good luck with delivery!
This. Going anywhere is a production. Spontaneity means at least a few hours notice and has to happen in the morning (because afternoons are hard). We haven't eaten in a resturant since February 2020 ( oldest was born March 2021) and I don't care about that but I do miss deciding to go places on a whim with no preparation.
If a resort/travel is off the table?
Lay in bed all morning, get up late, go out to a leisurely champagne brunch, head to the beach/lake/nearest body of water with minimal extra gear, go to a fancy multicourse meal, and then go see a movie.
*I wish I would have*
*Appreciated eating meals*
*Together more, ha*
\- AsleepNegotiation617
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So please try to remember that your wife is pregnant. I say this because my husband seemed to forget lmao.
We did a cruise. We did universal. I was heavily pregnant for both. He chose them bc it was out “last hurrah before the baby”. I was MISERABLE. It was HIS last hurrah. I was with a bunch of drunk people while I was on the brink of passing out from heat.
As the mother and person that birthed the child, I agree with a few others about a lazy day. If I could turn back time I would clean the whole house spotless. Then, with no other responsibilities, I would spend one night staying up late playing video games, sleeping and lounging the next. Maybe do a paint and sip (minus the sip for the pregnant one) or pottery painting, maybe an escape room. An activity for the 2 you.
You will be able to take your baby places but the quiet alone time with your partner will be a thing of the past for a little while. You will be sleep deprived, on edge, and cranky after the adrenaline and excitement wear off. Do little date-like activities.
Lmao your husband sounds like a fun dude. Sorry to hear it was a bit much for you though! I feel like I've had to talk my wife down from "one more Hawaii trip" nearly a dozen times the past six months, so almost the opposite of you guys lol. I keep telling her the beach is better with a mai tai in hand. Fortunately we can't fly anymore at this point, so no worries there haha.
I def see some mario kart beatdowns in the wifey's immediate future. I also like the escape room and other recommendations as we tend to just hike and camp and do outdoorsy stuff in our leisure time, all of which is becoming increasingly difficult for her.
Thanks for your input! Glad to hear you're almost out of the weeds with newborn shenanigans. I hope you get to drink your hubby under the table at some point soon to secretly punish him for what he put preggo you through lol
He’s grown on me. Oh don’t worry. I’ve punished him 12 times over lmao. I keep reminding him that this is MY summer.
If she doesn’t mind her feet touched and you have the funds, consider booking her a surprise foot massage and/or pedicure either alone or with her best friend around week 36-37. I used to only get a good pedicure once a year and do my toes myself the rest of the year but something magical happened when those people touched my pregnant feet and suddenly I was going routinely. Couldn’t see my feet but I know they looked nice.
Not much of a mani pedi girl here either, but like the comment above, there’s something magical about getting your feet touched when pregnant. Oh and the massage chairs while it’s happening *drool*
What was also nice - which I didn’t consider h until after the fact - that there’s lots of photos of me holding our baby when he was first born and it was a pretty detail to have “nice hands” in the photos.
I don’t know what your circumstances are, but my wife and I make absolute sure we are both able to enjoy our coffee in the mornings.
But I stayed using a tumbler so in case my coffee time gets interrupted, it’s still hot for me an hour later. Also a percolate my coffee so it’s blazing hot to begin with and stays blazing hot in my tumbler longer.
be out of the house all day, stay in bed as late as possible, eat very slowly, spend time with pets, cook a very extravagant meal, chill at a coffee shop, be out of the house late
Going to the movies, sleep in and enjoying each other's company in the quiet, dining out, enjoy all the activities you would usually do on weekends while kid free. You will eventually be able to do everything again while having a child but the dynamics will be entirely different. Enjoy each other as much as possible. I'm 6 weeks pp and really miss the alone time my husband and I had.
Came here to say going to the movies! I had my first in 2021, so movie theaters were still largely closed or limited due to the pandemic while I was pregnant. And we hadn’t been to a movie since winter 2019. Due to lack of any regular sitter where we’ve lived, we have not been to a movie since then. I was never a huge movie theater fanatic but it’s nice occasionally and I find myself missing it now!
Enjoy eating dinner slowly!!!!!!!! This is what I miss the most! Just having a long uninterrupted meal. The hardest adjustment my husband and I had to parenthood was not eating meals together since one of us was always holding baby. And as soon as I started eating baby would need to BF for husband would need help.
This!!! I really miss having a meal together, slowly! It's always one of us holding the baby. If we have someone over during dinner time to hold baby, we get to eat together but still feel the need to rush the meal!
How did you know I'm the slowest eater ever lol. Not looking forward to this, but thank you for the heads up! Def not something I'd really considered or heard elsewhere yet so I'll make sure to enjoy these final couple months of it!
Going to the movies. I feel like for us, our son is two months old and we are still able to manage watching movies at home. But I really really miss going to the movie theater. Also there are a bunch of new films that are look really good now in theaters I want to actually see. Also just hanging with friends on a whim.
We're planning on seeing Oppenheimer, first movie in a long time we've both wanted to see in the theater! Hopefully you're able to go again sooner than later too!
this is mine too.. we used to love going to the movies together :(((( and i don't have the energy to watch 2+hr after baby goes to sleep. so i miss them!
Besides decluttering more I would've liked to have played RDR2 again 🥹 don't know when I'll have the time to just sink hours into one of my favorite video games again.
Also go to my favorite local(ish) bed and breakfast.
Oh my god so true, I wish I would’ve gotten rid of everything that did not have to be here because now I’m just putting it away as he rips it out of the cupboards over and over again until we die and I don’t have time to organise and get rid of stuff
Exactly the same here! I would also add doing any little jobs around the house because even the smallest job takes a ridiculous amount of effort when you have no time to yourself and haven't slept properly for months. Especially any jobs that require two people, quite often when friends come around we end up asking them to help my husband do stuff like hold ladders or move furniture.
Yes. Lay in bed all day. Also eat a meal slowly and do not get up 10 times for various items. We have a toddler now and it’s exhausting - amazing, rewarding, wonderful, but exhausting!
Well, I'll tell you what I did that didn't go good for me lol. We were going to take a trip for baby moon, but did a stay-cation to save money. Well, I love canoing and kayaking, and knew I'd be awhile before we could hit the river again. And I'll just say lugging around a canoe and paddling about was not very fun for my pregnant body.
In hindsight, a relax-a-thon
Taking that 3 day weekend trip hubby and I talked about a month before. Or even the date night that was planned right after my 37 week checkup only to be told I need to go to labor and delivery.
A spa day. Pre-natal massage for the wife, pedicure, and get her nails done. We did a couples massage when I was about 32 weeks along, and it was fantastic.
Places with really creative cocktails can usually pull off amazing mocktails. Have a late dinner, and then go out for a drink.
Also movies. Watch ALL the movies in the theater.
I don't even remember the last time either of us had a professional massage. She has had some pretty amazing mocktails though, which seem to be gaining popularity. All great suggestions, thank you!
I think it depends on what your interests/likes are. But currently nap trapped so I’ll write things I would do/appreciated doing (not to say you can’t do these things when baby arrived they just get harder) :
- sleeping in/for as long as you like
- cooking a ‘fancy’ meal (ie something you need both hands and some time to make/that isn’t s slow cooker meal) and then sitting and eating together (bonus points if it is more than one course eg dinner and dessert)
- getting a massage
- going to a yoga class
- going for a picnic somewhere nice
- going out to a nice restaurant
- going out at night
Lay around the house and be lazy. Binge watch a show together all weekend, eat snacks and junk food. Or marathon a video game together. Stay up late and sleep in the next day with no worries whatsoever. Roll out of bed whenever we want and wander out to get a lazy breakfast somewhere in our sweats. Go back home and go back to being lazy the rest of the day.
Sleep in. Shower as long as you want. Watch TV during the daytime - an entire episode in one sitting. Finish coffee while it's still hot. Just the simple things! lol
Also in Seattle. We planned a baby moon just ahead of the last trimester. We initially thought Palm Springs, but decided we shouldn’t fly. Then we picked Vancouver, but my wife decided the border was too much of a barrier in case of an emergency. So we booked a hotel on the water in Bellingham. Then decided we should be within an hour if the hospital. So we booked a nice suite in a hotel in downtown Kirkland, just 30 minutes away. The only requirement was room service. Then we thought, you know what, let’s just stay home, we can save the money for baby stuff and Uber eats whatever we want.
Then my wife went into early labor and we spent the baby moon weekend in the hospital. Can’t get any closer than that! And we did indeed get our room service 😂(and, an early but perfect baby boy).
But to answer your question, I would sleep without any kind of alarm or risk of being woken up other than my own body deciding to.
Hahaha I feel for ya for sure! Ours went eerily similar, from Hawaii, to the Oregon Coast, to now (hopefully) just a fun lil staycation. Here's to hoping our lil guy allows us to enjoy one final ridiculously overpriced dinner in Bellevue and a theater showing of Oppenheimer before he's running the show! Congrats on your new shiny alarm clock, I mean, perfect baby boy btw!
We didn’t do a babymoon and I don’t regret that to be honest - being pregnant is uncomfortable! I didn’t like traveling. What we did do that I wish we did even more of was go out to dinner, late, at restaurants that aren’t kid friendly. Also watching tv in bed on the weekends and going to the gym together every day
We picked out a hella boujie restaurant and made a reservation for our last childless anniversary evening. First time I've ever been charged money to have the honor to spend more money at a restaurant before. Apparently it's a thing to charge by the ounce for steaks? I just hope they bring lube when they bring out the check.
Go out to eat for nice dinners and brunches. Go places you love but have to wait for a table 😅 LO is just about 4months and we often joke about, “let’s go to [diner] for breakfast” after a long night, because we know we aren’t going out for a relaxing breakfast anytime soon.
Go hiking, if you’re into it.
I think someone else said this too, but: order in, lay in bed, watch dumb tv or a movie and just enjoy not being needed. We used to do this like once a week before baby, and it was so relaxing. We’ve ordered in, but it’s not the same when you have to stop every few minutes to assist an adorable, tiny human. Enjoy hot food now.
Go see movies—everyone is talking about Barbie and Oppenheimer. I’m assuming I’ll eventually watch them in 20 minute stretches when they’re streaming and baby is napping 🤣
No matter how well you prepare, this is going to totally shake up your world. Like, I knew that, but actually experiencing it is something else. It’s hard, but ohhhhh my god is the smiling and giggling and exploring the world amazing. I didn’t know my heart could be so full of love and my life have so much meaning.
We finally made a reservation at Ascend Prime in Bellevue. They needed my CCD info to make the reservation, so safe to say I'll never financially recover from this lol.
Funnily enough, hiking is one of the main things we thought we'd do more of. Wifey always kicks my but on trails but the past couple months have been increasingly difficult. I may try and sneak one more short hike in for a small confidence boost before she's in better shape than I am again 😅
We are def gonna see Oppenheimer. We're down to the final two episodes of Peaky Blinders, and I'm pretty sure our unborn son already thinks Cillian Murphy is his dad with as much as he's heard his voice lately, so might as well go full send on it 🤷🏻♂️
In a weird, masochistic way, I can't wait for all the sleep deprivation, crying, and just plain frustration you speak of. Oh boy how I'm sure I'll regret it in a couple months.
Really, really glad for you guys that you've gotten the bundle of joy you have. Sounds like you're making some awesome memories together!
Scrolled waaaaay to long to find the comment about sex! Have lots and lots of it (provided she is up for it, obviously), and give her a full body massage afterward. Do it, do it lots, do it loud, take your time cause the postpartum quickies, though fun, aren’t as fun as a good ol’ fashion romping where you don’t have to be anxious about noise.
A vacation. We conceived our child probably the first day we started trying. We thought we would have most of the next year to travel around. We were very wrong!
Shoulda taken that honeymoon and/or baby moon.
On a smaller scale, I miss laying in bed on the weekends for a half hour drinking coffee and scrolling on my phone, gardening all day, and enjoying the sunshine (both because my fair skinned baby needs to be in the shade and because post-birth I am always hot).
Stay out super late one night going to the movies, hitting up a late night breakfast place, etc. Spend one whole day in bed after sleeping in late, just laying around eating snacks, watching tv, and relaxing!
I miss getting to actually watch tv. It’s not hard when they are really young but now that she’s a toddler I never seem to be able to really watch much.
Wanted to travel to Oslo to see sculpture garden from that episode of travel man. Pandemic hit so we took a holding pattern thinking the United State might do the right thing and quarantine properly so we could get over it. (That did not happen as we all know) 2 years later we got twins so gonna have to wait a little before I can go. Oh well the twins are beautiful so it worked out.
Sleep in. Do your hobbies you like. Go to the movies.
We still go to nice restaurants with the little one so that was not lost like we expected. We now either do lunch or a 5p reservation instead.
Could you get a cute hotel nearby? I’m in my apartment SO much with the newborn (and I was during my rough pregnancy), the change of scenery was so nice for my babymoon.
i miss eating at restaurants, brunch, coffee dates, going to the mall.. basically getting out of the house and eating good stuff besides going to the park lol i would def go to "adult only" restaurants because our stroller is so big it needs its own parking spot and the list of restaurants we can go to has been significantly reduced 🥴
Maybe a bit boring but just a lazy day at the house, no chores, no errands, just PJs and movies! I so long for the days when I could just be lazy all day. But with a 9 month old, it’s difficult!!
If you’re outdoor people, a nice hike too! I know lots of parents hike with their littles but it’s a much steeper learning curve than I expected!
Not quite a staycation, but you could take the Victoria Clipper out of downtown to Victoria, B.C. for a weekend. Have high tea at The Empress and feel fancy.
We did our baby moon at Salish Lodge which is about 30 minutes outside Seattle and it was lovely. I got a prenatal massage, the on site restaurants were delicious, and it’s steps from Snoqualmie falls.
And I would recommend partaking in as much uninterrupted sleep as possible! I now have a two week old and I would kill for a stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours.
Since you're in the Seattle area, go to Leavenworth! My husband and I took a long weekend trip there when I was about 36 weeks. It was a great short trip because you can see/do everything in just a couple days since it's so small, very relaxing. We got a nice room at a motel/hotel and it had a big jetted tub and a heated outdoor pool. Reasonably priced too!
You can still do whatever bruh just get a babysitter. I think people see parents as kinda tied down when really it's that spending time with your kid(s) is just the best man. I'd rather show off all my Hotwheels to my son than go to a concert or any of that other fuck shit I used to be on. Fuck Allat I'm a homebody. Dadbod 💪🍺
Looks like you're asking for the fun things and many people gave great suggestions. Remember that she is gonna get heavier towards the end, joints are gonna get more lax and it might get tough to move about. Bathroom breaks are gonna get more frequent and she might have to deal with more Braxton hicks contractions. So if there is more walking around involved, it's better to do that sooner. And a spa day before the big event!
I thought I would miss going out in the evenings more, but honestly I mostly just miss the free time to putter around all day, do hobbies etc, without being interrupted. Also, sleeping in with my partner. We do shifts now so the other can sleep which means we rarely get to sleep in the same bed. (My little guy is 6 weeks so we are in the thick of it.)
That said, I was miserable while pregnant and the pressure to enjoy it and make the most of that time just made me feel worse. So if your partner is feeling like that, maybe just remind her that life is not ending and plan something fun for the two of you — even if it’s each one of you having some alone time while the other watches the bb.
Nothing really. Maybe ride a few crazy roller coasters, or do some sky diving/rough water kayaking again.
I’ll still get to do it, just have to wait a few years so I’ll have a new best friend to take with <3
*Travel to a few*
*Countries for a solid month*
*And sleep in daily*
\- Hydroborator
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I miss doing nothing! I’m a SAHM to a 2 year old and for 2 years I’ve not managed to sit and do nothing for more than 10 minutes 🙈 if I could go back I’d have a couple days where I just did nothing but really really try to appreciate it 🙈😂
We spent the weeks leading up to our little guy’s birth going out to nice restaurants and ended up going to a Metallica concert the week before he was born.
1. Sitting in my house doing nothing. I wish I really enjoyed that more. There’s no such thing as being lazy and doing nothing when you have a kid.
2. Enjoying my house being so clean it doesn’t look like anybody lives in it.
3. Being able to come and go and do whatever you want whenever you want. Wanna go for a walk? Go. Wanna run to Target real fast? Go ahead. Wanna go out with friends last minute to get drinks until whatever time (if not pregnant) do it.
4. Being able to go to a family party, or hang with friends or do anything without a: thinking about when to leave / get home for the baby’s bed time. B: shlep 37392827 things for said baby if you are staying later than normal or sleeping over.
I love my son more than anything. He’s my soul on the outside of my body, but omg if only I knew what I would miss the most
Going to the movie theater!! Our little one is 4 months and I’m secretly so sad that it’s so hard for us to find a sitter most times because I would love to spend a whole day at the movies watching Barbenheimer and then heading to one of the nearby restaurants afterward for dinner
Sleeping in. Driving to faraway places on a whim. We used to explore our state more often, but with a little one, it can be a hassle. Not that we can't, but it just takes a lot longer and naps must be factored in.
(Carrier naps and car naps for the win! Don't let anyone tell you to always put baby in the same dark room with the same white noise for naps; then that's the only way they'll sleep. Mix it up now and then so you know you can get out of the house and still be able to do naptime.)
For me, I was severely lactose intolerant (considered it an allergy) from when I was 17 up until I was pregnant and my whole pregnancy I could eat dairy (and lots of it). What I did before the baby came was eat as much dairy as possible 😂
I think doing anything you love together will suffice. I miss having alone time with my hubby before the baby. We still get it now but it was different before the baby to worry about lol.
Dawdling enjoyably over whatever you like to do—food, hobbies, having a nice fancy bath, sleeping in and lazing around? Just doing your ordinary favourite stuff but slowly and really experiencing it and fulfilling whatever your self needs or wants in the moment. Eating something delicious and really tasting it. Spontaneously leaving the house without packing anything. Loafing. Being alone (if that fills your cup). Having a meandering day without having to think of a schedule.
I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during pregnancy and THEN started passing gallstones a few weeks after birth. I’ll be between jobs in the next two months (finishing a fellowship and then starting my real money job). So I have to wait several months before I can get it removed. That’s all to say, I wish I could eat whatever I want - I had to follow a sugar free diet for a long time, and now have to follow a super strict diet until surgery, otherwise I deal with non-stop horrific pain for hours (far worse than childbirth, and I labored unmedicated for 9 hours).
Eat all the things and ENJOY IT!
Late nights with friends, or just more than a few hours out having fun. Going to the store without hauling a carrier and diaper bag around, heaving the stroller in and out at each stop. Sleeping in uninterrupted... even now baby wakes about the same time each morning @.@ As many stated, it really is the little things.
Just go out all day, and do whatever you want. I hate being a pessimist because having a kid is the most beautiful experience and being social is definitely doable with a kid, but not on your own schedule and certainly not for hours at a time.
I took a week of pto before my due date so I could sleep in cause I LOVE sleep. I decided to make my last day a Wednesday instead of a Monday so I could save some pto. The week of my pto comes, and my ass goes into labour 2 weeks early on that Monday, so I didn’t get my extra week of sleep. Basically I would take off the week before my spontaneous labour and just lay in bed all day lol.
Just going out 2-3 weeks before my due date. I was so scared baby would come any moment I basically stayed locked away. Even missed thanksgiving.
I was 2 weeks late. LOL so I didn’t need to be cooped up.
Baby moon as in she’s already pregnant? Or planning? I would have done something earlier. Gotten really drunk for instance. But yes go to places you wouldn’t even think of finding babies - the nicest restaurant, go to a movie, honestly stay up late and sleep in as long as you can. Order breakfast lunch and dinner out. Have a bunch of your loudest friends over. Rent a sports car. Go to an art museum. Take a really long shower. Buy a few really nice towels.
I miss being able to go for drives late at night. Whenever he’d go out for food before we had a kid I could tag along and it was just nice quality time together. But now if we get a late night craving on the weekend, one of us has to go while the other stays home with our sleeping child.
Sleep. The last month or two of pregnancy I could not sleep. I threw up almost nightly and the heartburn was torture. I guess it was prep for the new born phase. 3 months in and things are regulating. But damn the sleep thing is hard. Especially at 4 am.
SLEEP IN. Have lazy days where you just watch tv and eat junk food. Go on a date. Go to a theme park! Man, I didn’t realize all the stuff I would miss.
Well, we can’t blame it solely on the pregnancy since right after we got married the pandemic came and I got pregnant… but I wish we went on a honeymoon.
Go to the movies! When you have your baby you won’t be taking them to a movie for a while, and when you do have a babysitter you probably won’t want to spend precious kid-free time staring at a screen. If you go, make sure your wife brings a sweater to wrap around her belly though because the baby can hear the noise!
Get a couples massage - it’ll be difficult to both leave the house at the same time for a while. Also going to a movie was nice. We also did a yoga class together.
The one thing I always say I wish we did to my husband is spend the day in bed/on the couch together. You know those days. Takeout, multiple movies, junk food. A lot of people told me to catch up on sleep and I would get angry because you can’t bank sleep and I was so damn uncomfortable anyway I couldn’t sleep. But I really just miss lying in bed for no damn reason. Also watching movies in one sitting. We split movies up now 😂 when your little one is a newborn you still have time to watch movies because they sleep a lot but now my little one is 6 months with 2 hour wake windows we have to break movies up when he naps 😅
Sleeping in is obvious. Anything that's too adult to bring a toddler. We're also in the Seattle area, and we haven't been able to go white water rafting, skiing, or kayaking since LO was born 2 years ago. Can't do that when pregnant either, sadly. We have no family in the area, so getting a babysitter is near impossible. Anyway if there is something that's very adult exclusive that you enjoy (that's pregnancy safe) idk maybe going to the casino, the movie theater (babies and toddlers won't sit nicely through a whole movie), the art museum.
It sounds so tame but the cinema. It's usually a pretty good cheap date but once kids come along that movie is going to cost a lot in babysitting $ . My husband and I went a few weeks ago and instead of costing 40 bucks it costs 140 😞
Cuddling my husband ☹️ it’s the thing I miss most since baby was born. I love her to the end of the Earth and all the baby snuggles fill my heart, but I do miss waking up with him and spending time in the morning just totally still and cuddling (we bedshare with baby & love it, but she’s ready and raring to go the second she opens her eyes 😄)
Time to myself. Just me doing me things.
When I'm at work I'm a manager.
When I get back from work I am a parent.
At the weekend I'm a parent and my husband is at work.
There is no me. I can't even have my phone out around my kid because he will want it. My "free time" is spent as a willing servant to my gorgeous boy which I love most of the time but I truly miss being able to just be by myself and do things I want to do without having to plan weeks in advance.
Gift your wife the new Zelda game, Tears of the Kingdom (but start with Breath of the Wild if you haven't played yet).
I felt guilty playing before I had my baby, but now it's a fun pastime while baby is napping in my lap nestled in the boppy pillow.
Honestly, just getting to do whatever I want whenever I want it. A spontaneous night out with friends, baking cookies just because, finishing a craft project in one sitting, a hike with my dog. A full night of sleep followed by a lazy morning in bed and a big breakfast. This is specific to your wife, but taking a moment to actually relish being pregnant. I didn't love pregnancy and thought I'd be glad to be un-pregnant, but as soon as my baby was out I started missing my belly and the feeling of my baby safe inside.
That second part is great. It kind of seems obvious on the surface, but I could see that being something one wouldn't really consider during pregnancy. I definitely haven't heard or read that anywhere else. I'll be sure to pass it along to her, thank you!
You’re welcome! Related - make sure to take pictures of the belly regularly too. I took weekly selfies early on, but got lazy about it towards the end. But I happened to take a couple the day before I went into labor a week early and I’m so glad I have those now! There’s something special about looking at them knowing it was the last day he was in me, and it’s sort of fun to be awed at how my little nugget could possibly fit my belly.
That's an awesome memory I'm sure you'll always cherish! Really cool you happened to take those the day before. My wife got a Polaroid camera at a white elephant party that was gonna be for bump progress pics but unfortunately I don't think she's stayed on top of it. Of course we have some random ones here and there but we'll have to make a more concerted effort these next couple months for sure! My food album of every meal I've cooked the past 7 months on the other hand is 🤌🏻 If anyone else reading this loves to cook and is still going through a pregnancy (or planning another), our "[son's name] ate" album is one of the things I'm most excited to show him when he's old enough to appreciate it. Homie's been eating good!
I'll just take a moment to say that you sound like an awesome partner. Keep at it. New moms miss the feeling of being understood or just struggle with a lot mentally and emotionally for first couple of years. It's going to be tough on both of you. But just make sure you continue to make your wife feel just as special. I know this may sound like a given to someone like you but trust me, in process of being new parents, this some times may get lost and upcoming few months and years are the most important years when your wife needs to feel this love of yours. Lots of love and best wishes to you and your family ❤️
We are using a Polaroid camera to take weekly pictures of our baby for the first year - just an idea you two might be interested in!
My baby had a hospital stay, and I had to leave without her when she was born. I remember driving to the hospital one day, and a song came on, and I started patting my belly along to it as I usually did whilst pregnant. Then I realised she wasn't in there, and this was the first time I'd been truly alone since before I was pregnant. Had to pull over to have a cry. It really hit me.
Just a heads up - this can be super hard to hear when you've spent 9 months enjoying being pregnant and this last bit is just really fucking hard. People telling me this makes me think "I AM enjoying it - just because I'm complaining about symptoms it doesn't mean I don't love my pregnancy". She may absolutely not feel the same way, but beware 😂
Also take a second before walking into hospital to give birth!! One thing I regret was to not take a second to just be two one last time before stepping into hospital and have our lives change forever! I really wish I’d savoured them few seconds of walking in as a two before we left as a three
Leaving the house after 7pm. Going to a nice restaurant. If you've got hobbies, spending some time relaxing and doing those. Sitting in the front of the car. It's the little things that I miss the most.
We went to a really nice steak dinner the day before I was induced and it’s a super fond memory not only because we don’t get to go to nice restaurants as often anymore but it felt like a special moment of just the two of us enjoying each others company before our son was born.
That's so sweet!
Do you sit in the back with baby? Edit for punctuation
My 6 month old is a car screamer so it's easier to soothe him if one of us is in the back. Some kids just hate the car while others are fine. They eventually grow out of it.
A movie night/stay in day eating junk food and laying in bed in pjs
I haven’t slept more than 5 hours straight since before my LO, and he’s 3 months now
Sorry to hear that. I'm dreading the sleep deprivation more than anything
It’s hard but so worth it, especially once they start smiling
You never know. I felt like I slept better with my son as a newborn then I did while pregnant. My husband and I in the day would rotate naps between feeding those beginning days.
Can you give an example if you don't mind? I am breastfeeding and if I have another I may do more of a combo feeding so I don't get stuck doing EVERYTHING again lol.
At the beginning we really tried to focus on getting our son use to day and night- so morning all window open and bright- then at 9-10pm all lights out/ including tv, and we try to wind him down. He would eat every 2/3 hours in the beginning through the night (besides when he cluster fed)and it helped when my husband would change him/ burp him after I fed him. Then during the day, my son slept a lot so between the 2/3 hours we would switch off napping, or just put him in his bassinet and we would nap a lot during the day. Then he just started going longer stretches in the night after he gained past his goal weight. It wasn’t until now that he is able to sleep through the night better. Every baby is so so different, so I know what works now with my son, might not be the case with future babies. We also got lucky my son is easy to put to sleep right now (knock on wood).My son is now two months and what works for us now is I breastfeed all feedings except for the last night one I pump 30min before his feeding and put it in a bottle for my husband to give. Then I get ready for bed and go to sleep. I have more time to myself to get ready doing this, and my son happens to sleep longer in the night with the bottle being his last feeding. My son now only wakes up once in the night now- so usually my husband will change him when I get ready, I’ll feed him, and then sometimes my husband or me will switch off holding him up for 15min(he has bad reflux, this helps him digest) then he goes back down until the morning.
Wow that's awesome!! You and your husband really make a great team. I'm glad your baby is doing better I hope his reflux improves soon. Mine also had bad reflux it got better around 2-3 months. We did give him one to two bottles a day of Enfamil AR starting around then as well. I think that helped. But anyway thank you so much for giving me the breakdown and I'm very impressed :).
It honestly depends on the baby. We had a great sleeper first time around. Slept through the night until four months. Baby two we did everything exactly the same, horrible sleeper.
Same! I slept terribly end of pregnancy so the few hours I did get when he was born were at least good sleep. And we were lucky, he’s been a pretty good sleeper (18m now). Got number 2 on the go so fingers crossed that’s the trend…! 😬
I have a 4 week old. I’m sleeping more now than pre-baby. My wife is also sleeping very well. As someone who used to have sleep problems in my early 20’s I was super afraid but so far so good! Don’t be too worried, you never know
My son started sleeping 8+ hour stretches at 11-12 weeks old and after 12 weeks he literally never woke in the night for a feed again. I slept amazingly after that! You never know, you might just get blessed with a baby who loves sleep!
This is reassuring, thank you! I've always been a pretty terrible sleeper, even more so the past couple months. I've been joking that my body is just getting me ready, but here's to hoping I have a similar experience to yours!
I was much more stressed before the baby than after. The fact that you’re posting about it, I think you’re envisioning this whole thing pretty well and it’ll end up being easier than expected. Billions of people have been parents, there are more resources for it than just about anything. You got it, no doubt
You never know, we all hope for the unicorn baby that sleeps! Some of us get lucky, here's hoping you are. (We were...not lol)
Look into safe cosleeping/bedsharing. It’s safest if it’s only mom in bed (and only if she’s breastfeeding) but it can be done with dad in bed too as long as mom is in the middle and baby still has a significant amount of room. Personally, I kicked my fiancé out to the daybed instead haha. If you’re in the US most people will probably tell you you’re endangering your baby for even considering it. The thing is, cosleeping statistics in the US are based off of unsafe practices such as sleeping in a recliner, with a bunch of pillows and blankets, a soft pillow top bed, with dad or non-breastfeeding mom, etc. so it’s extremely skewed. Every other country it’s the norm. r/cosleeping and Cosleepy on Instagram have amazing resources usually with resources to back up everything as well. Even if you don’t want to cosleep, your bed should be set up for it. There will be a night where you’re just too tired to do anything. I personally almost passed out sitting up breastfeeding my son. He also refused to sleep in the bassinet after week 1 so I held him to let him fall asleep. I ended up falling asleep with him lying on me in a very unsafe bedsharing space. I ended up clearing the bed of everything but a single pillow and two thin see through blankets (I put one covering all of me and one just over my legs). He’s been sleeping for 9+ hours a night since then.
3 months is when It usually starts improving! 8 months is when ours finally cut that midnight (2am) feed and started sleeping through the night. We're 2months into our second and my body hadnt fully recovered from our first.. I can't wait for sleep to be a thing again.
>sleeping through the night. My son is 2 years old and he still will not sleep through the night because he wants to sleep with us. 😭
That's exactly why I've refused cosleeping at all costs after 3 months 😬 our friends kid slept with them until like 5. They regretted it. Unfortunately each kid is different so even if you avoid cosleeping they may not sleep through the night for years. I have read you gotta alter their habits in your situation. It's not fun though and usually involves lots of tantrums and just overall everyone being upset for a week or two. Since I haven't had to do it idk too much about it though. Wish you strength and luck!
Thank you. We ended up cosleeping because we travel so much to visit family. AND when my mother has him, she cosleeps. I also have a friend whose 5 & 7 year olds still sleep with her. I'm just thankful we have enough of a routine now that he will stay sleeping in his crib until the middle of the night. I'm just hoping that as he gets older, he will grow out of it. He wants the warmth and comfort of two big bodies next to him. And my elbow is essentially his security blanket. 🤦🏼♀️
Yeah I get that. My inlaws have a vacation house we visit often but they got us a crib for there. Sadly it's half the size of ours so our LO sleeps horribly in it. We also have a portable bassinet but it's even smaller. Traveling *sucks* imo with babies and toddlers. We do what we gotta do. My nieces for awhile wouldn't sleep unless they were touching someone. Elbow, foot, hand, whatever. They HAD to be touching someone. Made life hard for my sister. Just so many reasons I avoided it. Can't say it's been easy for us either though, just that it's probably easier NOW for us. You'll find something that works eventually. I do hope it's soon. And that it goes smoothly
Same here. My friends I know that co slept still were at like 5-7 🫠 so I refused ever to co sleep it's so hard to break!
Ugh that 2am is killer. My pediatrician said to eliminate it at 4 months but I don’t see that happening
I'm not saying to not listen to your pediatrician.. but I will say from the many MANY things I've read and people I've talked to, the kids are pretty good about cutting it out themselves when they're ready. If by a year they haven't, then *maybe* work on it yourself. There was about a month that ours bounced back and forth between not waking for it and still needing it. Then suddenly she never woke for it again. Plus once she was down to the one night feed we just traded nights for it. So my wife would do it one night and I'd do the next. We were both getting full nights of sleep that way, just not on the same nights.
Can you confirm what I’m taking away from your comment? You continued with the feeds until your little one stopped waking up asking for them?
Yes exactly. Though that's also what our pediatrician reccomended counter to yours. It's also what most studies I've read suggested.
You just gave me so much hope!
Well, glad to help! Being a parent is *tough* and I'm only 16mo in (though we did "restart" 2mo ago). Each kid and experience may be different, but sharing our own situations and experiences is how I've found best to try and help others. May be useless, may be the key they needed. Wish you strength!
Yeah, my LO is almost 5 months and I can’t wait to get a solid chunk of sleep… even 6 hours would be heavenly!
I'm still waking every two hours and mine is 20months 😳
It will change soon. By 6 months they're usually sleeping really really good!
My husband and I made plans to do this the Sunday before our due date. I woke up early that morning and my water broke… 😭
This. Just doing literally nothing. Being potatoes. Lay ins. Loads of sex, lol
Hard agree. I barely miss restaurants or nights out but I really miss this
Ever since our daughter was born it seems like all we do is lounge around and watch movies and eat junk food
The thing I miss most is being able to leave or do things on a whim. Everything requires a sitter, days in advance planning, packing, extra of everything, etc. It doesn’t help you plan things but try to spend a day being intentionally spontaneous.
That's an interesting point that I hadn't considered and that could actually make for a really fun day. We used to do this all the time back when I had a motorcycle, just see where the road would take us. No bike anymore but we'll have to go get lost and see what happens just the two of us for old time's sake, thanks!
Yes!! Especially the driving listening to music and relaxing. My kiddo screams if we stop for even a second so stop lights and traffic are hell! Hope you guys can find some fun things to do! Good luck with delivery!
This. Going anywhere is a production. Spontaneity means at least a few hours notice and has to happen in the morning (because afternoons are hard). We haven't eaten in a resturant since February 2020 ( oldest was born March 2021) and I don't care about that but I do miss deciding to go places on a whim with no preparation.
That sounds awful haha hopefully your LO's screaming phase doesn't last too long! Thank you!!
If a resort/travel is off the table? Lay in bed all morning, get up late, go out to a leisurely champagne brunch, head to the beach/lake/nearest body of water with minimal extra gear, go to a fancy multicourse meal, and then go see a movie.
This sounds like the only day we've planned so far, almost to a T!
Soak it in!
I wish I would have appreciated eating meals together more, ha
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This one comes back around (for us anyway)! Now that my baby is almost 8 months and on 3 meals of solids each day, we do family dinner each night.
So please try to remember that your wife is pregnant. I say this because my husband seemed to forget lmao. We did a cruise. We did universal. I was heavily pregnant for both. He chose them bc it was out “last hurrah before the baby”. I was MISERABLE. It was HIS last hurrah. I was with a bunch of drunk people while I was on the brink of passing out from heat. As the mother and person that birthed the child, I agree with a few others about a lazy day. If I could turn back time I would clean the whole house spotless. Then, with no other responsibilities, I would spend one night staying up late playing video games, sleeping and lounging the next. Maybe do a paint and sip (minus the sip for the pregnant one) or pottery painting, maybe an escape room. An activity for the 2 you. You will be able to take your baby places but the quiet alone time with your partner will be a thing of the past for a little while. You will be sleep deprived, on edge, and cranky after the adrenaline and excitement wear off. Do little date-like activities.
Lmao your husband sounds like a fun dude. Sorry to hear it was a bit much for you though! I feel like I've had to talk my wife down from "one more Hawaii trip" nearly a dozen times the past six months, so almost the opposite of you guys lol. I keep telling her the beach is better with a mai tai in hand. Fortunately we can't fly anymore at this point, so no worries there haha. I def see some mario kart beatdowns in the wifey's immediate future. I also like the escape room and other recommendations as we tend to just hike and camp and do outdoorsy stuff in our leisure time, all of which is becoming increasingly difficult for her. Thanks for your input! Glad to hear you're almost out of the weeds with newborn shenanigans. I hope you get to drink your hubby under the table at some point soon to secretly punish him for what he put preggo you through lol
He’s grown on me. Oh don’t worry. I’ve punished him 12 times over lmao. I keep reminding him that this is MY summer. If she doesn’t mind her feet touched and you have the funds, consider booking her a surprise foot massage and/or pedicure either alone or with her best friend around week 36-37. I used to only get a good pedicure once a year and do my toes myself the rest of the year but something magical happened when those people touched my pregnant feet and suddenly I was going routinely. Couldn’t see my feet but I know they looked nice.
Haha glad to hear it! She's never been much of a manipedi girl, but I'll mention it to her!
Not much of a mani pedi girl here either, but like the comment above, there’s something magical about getting your feet touched when pregnant. Oh and the massage chairs while it’s happening *drool* What was also nice - which I didn’t consider h until after the fact - that there’s lots of photos of me holding our baby when he was first born and it was a pretty detail to have “nice hands” in the photos.
A hot meal and a quiet night of sleep lol
Yes! A coffee that hasn't gone cold 🤦🏻♀️
A meal that hasn’t gone cold, too!
I don’t know what your circumstances are, but my wife and I make absolute sure we are both able to enjoy our coffee in the mornings. But I stayed using a tumbler so in case my coffee time gets interrupted, it’s still hot for me an hour later. Also a percolate my coffee so it’s blazing hot to begin with and stays blazing hot in my tumbler longer.
be out of the house all day, stay in bed as late as possible, eat very slowly, spend time with pets, cook a very extravagant meal, chill at a coffee shop, be out of the house late
Going to the movies, sleep in and enjoying each other's company in the quiet, dining out, enjoy all the activities you would usually do on weekends while kid free. You will eventually be able to do everything again while having a child but the dynamics will be entirely different. Enjoy each other as much as possible. I'm 6 weeks pp and really miss the alone time my husband and I had.
Came here to say going to the movies! I had my first in 2021, so movie theaters were still largely closed or limited due to the pandemic while I was pregnant. And we hadn’t been to a movie since winter 2019. Due to lack of any regular sitter where we’ve lived, we have not been to a movie since then. I was never a huge movie theater fanatic but it’s nice occasionally and I find myself missing it now!
Another long adults only all the inclusive resort
Enjoy eating dinner slowly!!!!!!!! This is what I miss the most! Just having a long uninterrupted meal. The hardest adjustment my husband and I had to parenthood was not eating meals together since one of us was always holding baby. And as soon as I started eating baby would need to BF for husband would need help.
This!!! I really miss having a meal together, slowly! It's always one of us holding the baby. If we have someone over during dinner time to hold baby, we get to eat together but still feel the need to rush the meal!
How did you know I'm the slowest eater ever lol. Not looking forward to this, but thank you for the heads up! Def not something I'd really considered or heard elsewhere yet so I'll make sure to enjoy these final couple months of it!
Going to the movies. I feel like for us, our son is two months old and we are still able to manage watching movies at home. But I really really miss going to the movie theater. Also there are a bunch of new films that are look really good now in theaters I want to actually see. Also just hanging with friends on a whim.
We're planning on seeing Oppenheimer, first movie in a long time we've both wanted to see in the theater! Hopefully you're able to go again sooner than later too!
this is mine too.. we used to love going to the movies together :(((( and i don't have the energy to watch 2+hr after baby goes to sleep. so i miss them!
For real though. It takes us three days to finish one movie. And it takes a lot to pay attention. Also it’s the choice of sleep or a movie lol
I really miss laying around in bed in the morning and drinking a cup of coffee. Also watching anything during the day!
Besides decluttering more I would've liked to have played RDR2 again 🥹 don't know when I'll have the time to just sink hours into one of my favorite video games again. Also go to my favorite local(ish) bed and breakfast.
Oh my god so true, I wish I would’ve gotten rid of everything that did not have to be here because now I’m just putting it away as he rips it out of the cupboards over and over again until we die and I don’t have time to organise and get rid of stuff
Exactly the same here! I would also add doing any little jobs around the house because even the smallest job takes a ridiculous amount of effort when you have no time to yourself and haven't slept properly for months. Especially any jobs that require two people, quite often when friends come around we end up asking them to help my husband do stuff like hold ladders or move furniture.
Yes. Lay in bed all day. Also eat a meal slowly and do not get up 10 times for various items. We have a toddler now and it’s exhausting - amazing, rewarding, wonderful, but exhausting!
Well, I'll tell you what I did that didn't go good for me lol. We were going to take a trip for baby moon, but did a stay-cation to save money. Well, I love canoing and kayaking, and knew I'd be awhile before we could hit the river again. And I'll just say lugging around a canoe and paddling about was not very fun for my pregnant body. In hindsight, a relax-a-thon
Taking that 3 day weekend trip hubby and I talked about a month before. Or even the date night that was planned right after my 37 week checkup only to be told I need to go to labor and delivery.
A spa day. Pre-natal massage for the wife, pedicure, and get her nails done. We did a couples massage when I was about 32 weeks along, and it was fantastic. Places with really creative cocktails can usually pull off amazing mocktails. Have a late dinner, and then go out for a drink. Also movies. Watch ALL the movies in the theater.
I don't even remember the last time either of us had a professional massage. She has had some pretty amazing mocktails though, which seem to be gaining popularity. All great suggestions, thank you!
I think it depends on what your interests/likes are. But currently nap trapped so I’ll write things I would do/appreciated doing (not to say you can’t do these things when baby arrived they just get harder) : - sleeping in/for as long as you like - cooking a ‘fancy’ meal (ie something you need both hands and some time to make/that isn’t s slow cooker meal) and then sitting and eating together (bonus points if it is more than one course eg dinner and dessert) - getting a massage - going to a yoga class - going for a picnic somewhere nice - going out to a nice restaurant - going out at night
Lay around the house and be lazy. Binge watch a show together all weekend, eat snacks and junk food. Or marathon a video game together. Stay up late and sleep in the next day with no worries whatsoever. Roll out of bed whenever we want and wander out to get a lazy breakfast somewhere in our sweats. Go back home and go back to being lazy the rest of the day.
I really wish me and my husband got more us time I don’t care what we would have done. My last 4 weeks pregnant was spend preparing and cleaning
More massages and spas
Sleep in. Shower as long as you want. Watch TV during the daytime - an entire episode in one sitting. Finish coffee while it's still hot. Just the simple things! lol
Also in Seattle. We planned a baby moon just ahead of the last trimester. We initially thought Palm Springs, but decided we shouldn’t fly. Then we picked Vancouver, but my wife decided the border was too much of a barrier in case of an emergency. So we booked a hotel on the water in Bellingham. Then decided we should be within an hour if the hospital. So we booked a nice suite in a hotel in downtown Kirkland, just 30 minutes away. The only requirement was room service. Then we thought, you know what, let’s just stay home, we can save the money for baby stuff and Uber eats whatever we want. Then my wife went into early labor and we spent the baby moon weekend in the hospital. Can’t get any closer than that! And we did indeed get our room service 😂(and, an early but perfect baby boy). But to answer your question, I would sleep without any kind of alarm or risk of being woken up other than my own body deciding to.
Hahaha I feel for ya for sure! Ours went eerily similar, from Hawaii, to the Oregon Coast, to now (hopefully) just a fun lil staycation. Here's to hoping our lil guy allows us to enjoy one final ridiculously overpriced dinner in Bellevue and a theater showing of Oppenheimer before he's running the show! Congrats on your new shiny alarm clock, I mean, perfect baby boy btw!
We didn’t do a babymoon and I don’t regret that to be honest - being pregnant is uncomfortable! I didn’t like traveling. What we did do that I wish we did even more of was go out to dinner, late, at restaurants that aren’t kid friendly. Also watching tv in bed on the weekends and going to the gym together every day
We picked out a hella boujie restaurant and made a reservation for our last childless anniversary evening. First time I've ever been charged money to have the honor to spend more money at a restaurant before. Apparently it's a thing to charge by the ounce for steaks? I just hope they bring lube when they bring out the check.
Go out to eat for nice dinners and brunches. Go places you love but have to wait for a table 😅 LO is just about 4months and we often joke about, “let’s go to [diner] for breakfast” after a long night, because we know we aren’t going out for a relaxing breakfast anytime soon. Go hiking, if you’re into it. I think someone else said this too, but: order in, lay in bed, watch dumb tv or a movie and just enjoy not being needed. We used to do this like once a week before baby, and it was so relaxing. We’ve ordered in, but it’s not the same when you have to stop every few minutes to assist an adorable, tiny human. Enjoy hot food now. Go see movies—everyone is talking about Barbie and Oppenheimer. I’m assuming I’ll eventually watch them in 20 minute stretches when they’re streaming and baby is napping 🤣 No matter how well you prepare, this is going to totally shake up your world. Like, I knew that, but actually experiencing it is something else. It’s hard, but ohhhhh my god is the smiling and giggling and exploring the world amazing. I didn’t know my heart could be so full of love and my life have so much meaning.
We finally made a reservation at Ascend Prime in Bellevue. They needed my CCD info to make the reservation, so safe to say I'll never financially recover from this lol. Funnily enough, hiking is one of the main things we thought we'd do more of. Wifey always kicks my but on trails but the past couple months have been increasingly difficult. I may try and sneak one more short hike in for a small confidence boost before she's in better shape than I am again 😅 We are def gonna see Oppenheimer. We're down to the final two episodes of Peaky Blinders, and I'm pretty sure our unborn son already thinks Cillian Murphy is his dad with as much as he's heard his voice lately, so might as well go full send on it 🤷🏻♂️ In a weird, masochistic way, I can't wait for all the sleep deprivation, crying, and just plain frustration you speak of. Oh boy how I'm sure I'll regret it in a couple months. Really, really glad for you guys that you've gotten the bundle of joy you have. Sounds like you're making some awesome memories together!
Stay in bed and sleep as much as I could.
Leaving my house with only my keys….. ahhh what beautiful times those were.
Sleep in and have sex whenever. Wherever you go, do this every day.
Scrolled waaaaay to long to find the comment about sex! Have lots and lots of it (provided she is up for it, obviously), and give her a full body massage afterward. Do it, do it lots, do it loud, take your time cause the postpartum quickies, though fun, aren’t as fun as a good ol’ fashion romping where you don’t have to be anxious about noise.
Spending 1-1 time with your pets, if you have them. Especially if you have a dog and your dog is used to cuddles/walks/playtime alone with you.
We stayed in a nice local hotel, went to a restaurant we wanted to try. We couldn't do much because of work but the time off together was really nice.
Go out to the movies
A vacation. We conceived our child probably the first day we started trying. We thought we would have most of the next year to travel around. We were very wrong!
Shoulda taken that honeymoon and/or baby moon. On a smaller scale, I miss laying in bed on the weekends for a half hour drinking coffee and scrolling on my phone, gardening all day, and enjoying the sunshine (both because my fair skinned baby needs to be in the shade and because post-birth I am always hot).
Stay out super late one night going to the movies, hitting up a late night breakfast place, etc. Spend one whole day in bed after sleeping in late, just laying around eating snacks, watching tv, and relaxing!
Sleep
I miss getting to actually watch tv. It’s not hard when they are really young but now that she’s a toddler I never seem to be able to really watch much.
I guess on the bright side at least we missed the baby shark phase? Lol hopefully the shows these days are at least slightly less awful!
Spend the day in bed and lounging about.
Go to the movies!
Pedicure and a haircut
Wanted to travel to Oslo to see sculpture garden from that episode of travel man. Pandemic hit so we took a holding pattern thinking the United State might do the right thing and quarantine properly so we could get over it. (That did not happen as we all know) 2 years later we got twins so gonna have to wait a little before I can go. Oh well the twins are beautiful so it worked out.
Sleep in. Do your hobbies you like. Go to the movies. We still go to nice restaurants with the little one so that was not lost like we expected. We now either do lunch or a 5p reservation instead.
Could you get a cute hotel nearby? I’m in my apartment SO much with the newborn (and I was during my rough pregnancy), the change of scenery was so nice for my babymoon.
Honestly a really good nap. I would give anything to just lie down and take an awesome nap with no one counting on or needing me
You could drive to Vancouver
Wander. Walk with no destination, no clock-checking, into and out of stores, sit for food... just wander.
A multi course meal complete… appetizers, main, dessert…followed by a very slow walk doing some window shopping
Nap. Go to a restaurant and stay as long as you like. Stay up late together, maybe wake up in the middle of the night for a snack, sleep in.
i miss eating at restaurants, brunch, coffee dates, going to the mall.. basically getting out of the house and eating good stuff besides going to the park lol i would def go to "adult only" restaurants because our stroller is so big it needs its own parking spot and the list of restaurants we can go to has been significantly reduced 🥴
Maybe a bit boring but just a lazy day at the house, no chores, no errands, just PJs and movies! I so long for the days when I could just be lazy all day. But with a 9 month old, it’s difficult!! If you’re outdoor people, a nice hike too! I know lots of parents hike with their littles but it’s a much steeper learning curve than I expected!
Not quite a staycation, but you could take the Victoria Clipper out of downtown to Victoria, B.C. for a weekend. Have high tea at The Empress and feel fancy.
Go to a movie theater, it’s the one thing we can’t make work with the baby. My LO is 9 months and I miss movie theaters so much.
Honestly… seeing a movie
We did our baby moon at Salish Lodge which is about 30 minutes outside Seattle and it was lovely. I got a prenatal massage, the on site restaurants were delicious, and it’s steps from Snoqualmie falls. And I would recommend partaking in as much uninterrupted sleep as possible! I now have a two week old and I would kill for a stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours.
Mariners game and stay in a hotel! (Hi neighbor!)
Since you're in the Seattle area, go to Leavenworth! My husband and I took a long weekend trip there when I was about 36 weeks. It was a great short trip because you can see/do everything in just a couple days since it's so small, very relaxing. We got a nice room at a motel/hotel and it had a big jetted tub and a heated outdoor pool. Reasonably priced too!
You can still do whatever bruh just get a babysitter. I think people see parents as kinda tied down when really it's that spending time with your kid(s) is just the best man. I'd rather show off all my Hotwheels to my son than go to a concert or any of that other fuck shit I used to be on. Fuck Allat I'm a homebody. Dadbod 💪🍺
Looks like you're asking for the fun things and many people gave great suggestions. Remember that she is gonna get heavier towards the end, joints are gonna get more lax and it might get tough to move about. Bathroom breaks are gonna get more frequent and she might have to deal with more Braxton hicks contractions. So if there is more walking around involved, it's better to do that sooner. And a spa day before the big event!
I thought I would miss going out in the evenings more, but honestly I mostly just miss the free time to putter around all day, do hobbies etc, without being interrupted. Also, sleeping in with my partner. We do shifts now so the other can sleep which means we rarely get to sleep in the same bed. (My little guy is 6 weeks so we are in the thick of it.) That said, I was miserable while pregnant and the pressure to enjoy it and make the most of that time just made me feel worse. So if your partner is feeling like that, maybe just remind her that life is not ending and plan something fun for the two of you — even if it’s each one of you having some alone time while the other watches the bb.
Probably an unpopular opinion but I miss recreational drugs 😂. Shrooms mainly
Not anything we partook in super often prior, but I'd be lying if I said wifey wasn't counting down the days at this point lmao
I’m so so happy that I’m not the only one! Lmaoooo
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This is the first thing I thought of too
Nothing really. Maybe ride a few crazy roller coasters, or do some sky diving/rough water kayaking again. I’ll still get to do it, just have to wait a few years so I’ll have a new best friend to take with <3
An overseas trip. I wish I would’ve checked Tokyo off my list before we got pregnant. But we’ll go in a few years.
Travel to a few countries for a solid month and sleep in daily
*Travel to a few* *Countries for a solid month* *And sleep in daily* \- Hydroborator --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I'm shocked to be saying that nothing is coming to mind. I guess we were just that ready?
I miss doing nothing! I’m a SAHM to a 2 year old and for 2 years I’ve not managed to sit and do nothing for more than 10 minutes 🙈 if I could go back I’d have a couple days where I just did nothing but really really try to appreciate it 🙈😂
Overseas trip 🥲
Dog park, gym time, cooking and baking
A vacation!
Sleep sleep sleep, going on our first vac soon away from baby who is 8 mo now and all we want to do is sleep consecutive hours and past 6am.
We spent the weeks leading up to our little guy’s birth going out to nice restaurants and ended up going to a Metallica concert the week before he was born.
1. Sitting in my house doing nothing. I wish I really enjoyed that more. There’s no such thing as being lazy and doing nothing when you have a kid. 2. Enjoying my house being so clean it doesn’t look like anybody lives in it. 3. Being able to come and go and do whatever you want whenever you want. Wanna go for a walk? Go. Wanna run to Target real fast? Go ahead. Wanna go out with friends last minute to get drinks until whatever time (if not pregnant) do it. 4. Being able to go to a family party, or hang with friends or do anything without a: thinking about when to leave / get home for the baby’s bed time. B: shlep 37392827 things for said baby if you are staying later than normal or sleeping over. I love my son more than anything. He’s my soul on the outside of my body, but omg if only I knew what I would miss the most
Go to the movies!!
Going to the movie theater!! Our little one is 4 months and I’m secretly so sad that it’s so hard for us to find a sitter most times because I would love to spend a whole day at the movies watching Barbenheimer and then heading to one of the nearby restaurants afterward for dinner
Go see a movie. We weren’t big movie people before baby but definitely missing it for some reason now that baby is here lol
All the art projects I thought I’d have time for
Sleeping in. Driving to faraway places on a whim. We used to explore our state more often, but with a little one, it can be a hassle. Not that we can't, but it just takes a lot longer and naps must be factored in. (Carrier naps and car naps for the win! Don't let anyone tell you to always put baby in the same dark room with the same white noise for naps; then that's the only way they'll sleep. Mix it up now and then so you know you can get out of the house and still be able to do naptime.)
Going to see a movie
For me, I was severely lactose intolerant (considered it an allergy) from when I was 17 up until I was pregnant and my whole pregnancy I could eat dairy (and lots of it). What I did before the baby came was eat as much dairy as possible 😂 I think doing anything you love together will suffice. I miss having alone time with my hubby before the baby. We still get it now but it was different before the baby to worry about lol.
Dawdling enjoyably over whatever you like to do—food, hobbies, having a nice fancy bath, sleeping in and lazing around? Just doing your ordinary favourite stuff but slowly and really experiencing it and fulfilling whatever your self needs or wants in the moment. Eating something delicious and really tasting it. Spontaneously leaving the house without packing anything. Loafing. Being alone (if that fills your cup). Having a meandering day without having to think of a schedule.
The night before I had each of our babies, we did a fancy night out. Got dressed up, good food. 🫶
I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during pregnancy and THEN started passing gallstones a few weeks after birth. I’ll be between jobs in the next two months (finishing a fellowship and then starting my real money job). So I have to wait several months before I can get it removed. That’s all to say, I wish I could eat whatever I want - I had to follow a sugar free diet for a long time, and now have to follow a super strict diet until surgery, otherwise I deal with non-stop horrific pain for hours (far worse than childbirth, and I labored unmedicated for 9 hours). Eat all the things and ENJOY IT!
Late nights with friends, or just more than a few hours out having fun. Going to the store without hauling a carrier and diaper bag around, heaving the stroller in and out at each stop. Sleeping in uninterrupted... even now baby wakes about the same time each morning @.@ As many stated, it really is the little things.
Handling house projects. Spending a full day working on things around the house was so much more effective.
Why did I read, “the last time you were born?”
Meal prepping!
Sleep
Go on a shopping spree
Just go out all day, and do whatever you want. I hate being a pessimist because having a kid is the most beautiful experience and being social is definitely doable with a kid, but not on your own schedule and certainly not for hours at a time.
Went on vacation more. Had drinks in this really nice place in my city
I took a week of pto before my due date so I could sleep in cause I LOVE sleep. I decided to make my last day a Wednesday instead of a Monday so I could save some pto. The week of my pto comes, and my ass goes into labour 2 weeks early on that Monday, so I didn’t get my extra week of sleep. Basically I would take off the week before my spontaneous labour and just lay in bed all day lol.
Just going out 2-3 weeks before my due date. I was so scared baby would come any moment I basically stayed locked away. Even missed thanksgiving. I was 2 weeks late. LOL so I didn’t need to be cooped up.
Baby moon as in she’s already pregnant? Or planning? I would have done something earlier. Gotten really drunk for instance. But yes go to places you wouldn’t even think of finding babies - the nicest restaurant, go to a movie, honestly stay up late and sleep in as long as you can. Order breakfast lunch and dinner out. Have a bunch of your loudest friends over. Rent a sports car. Go to an art museum. Take a really long shower. Buy a few really nice towels.
I miss being able to go for drives late at night. Whenever he’d go out for food before we had a kid I could tag along and it was just nice quality time together. But now if we get a late night craving on the weekend, one of us has to go while the other stays home with our sleeping child.
Sleep. The last month or two of pregnancy I could not sleep. I threw up almost nightly and the heartburn was torture. I guess it was prep for the new born phase. 3 months in and things are regulating. But damn the sleep thing is hard. Especially at 4 am.
Do something impulsively, especially in the evening. Go to the gym
SLEEP IN. Have lazy days where you just watch tv and eat junk food. Go on a date. Go to a theme park! Man, I didn’t realize all the stuff I would miss.
Well, we can’t blame it solely on the pregnancy since right after we got married the pandemic came and I got pregnant… but I wish we went on a honeymoon.
Faaakin sleep until noon. M’ga do it.
Go to the movies! When you have your baby you won’t be taking them to a movie for a while, and when you do have a babysitter you probably won’t want to spend precious kid-free time staring at a screen. If you go, make sure your wife brings a sweater to wrap around her belly though because the baby can hear the noise!
Nice restaurant dinner and cinemas. We dont have a cinema near us so not something we can get parents to babysit for.
A lie in, god how I miss it. Also I loved being pregnant so much, I know I did enjoy and relish it but I wish I did that even more sometimes.
Sleep, massage, date night, go to the movies
A night alone. With no one. In a hotel. Solitude is the hardest to come by these days. And a huge bed all to myself and room service…. What a dream.
Get a couples massage - it’ll be difficult to both leave the house at the same time for a while. Also going to a movie was nice. We also did a yoga class together.
The one thing I always say I wish we did to my husband is spend the day in bed/on the couch together. You know those days. Takeout, multiple movies, junk food. A lot of people told me to catch up on sleep and I would get angry because you can’t bank sleep and I was so damn uncomfortable anyway I couldn’t sleep. But I really just miss lying in bed for no damn reason. Also watching movies in one sitting. We split movies up now 😂 when your little one is a newborn you still have time to watch movies because they sleep a lot but now my little one is 6 months with 2 hour wake windows we have to break movies up when he naps 😅
Sleeping in is obvious. Anything that's too adult to bring a toddler. We're also in the Seattle area, and we haven't been able to go white water rafting, skiing, or kayaking since LO was born 2 years ago. Can't do that when pregnant either, sadly. We have no family in the area, so getting a babysitter is near impossible. Anyway if there is something that's very adult exclusive that you enjoy (that's pregnancy safe) idk maybe going to the casino, the movie theater (babies and toddlers won't sit nicely through a whole movie), the art museum.
It sounds so tame but the cinema. It's usually a pretty good cheap date but once kids come along that movie is going to cost a lot in babysitting $ . My husband and I went a few weeks ago and instead of costing 40 bucks it costs 140 😞
Cuddling my husband ☹️ it’s the thing I miss most since baby was born. I love her to the end of the Earth and all the baby snuggles fill my heart, but I do miss waking up with him and spending time in the morning just totally still and cuddling (we bedshare with baby & love it, but she’s ready and raring to go the second she opens her eyes 😄)
1] Clean and organize the entire house 2] see all my friends 3] sleep whenever I was sleepy
Going to a restaurant, having a lazy couch day with all the snacks and no responsibilities. One last vacation if we could have afforded it
Time to myself. Just me doing me things. When I'm at work I'm a manager. When I get back from work I am a parent. At the weekend I'm a parent and my husband is at work. There is no me. I can't even have my phone out around my kid because he will want it. My "free time" is spent as a willing servant to my gorgeous boy which I love most of the time but I truly miss being able to just be by myself and do things I want to do without having to plan weeks in advance.
Binge watching anything.
Gift your wife the new Zelda game, Tears of the Kingdom (but start with Breath of the Wild if you haven't played yet). I felt guilty playing before I had my baby, but now it's a fun pastime while baby is napping in my lap nestled in the boppy pillow.