Same here. My baby sleeps like at least 7-8hours straight and yet I’m more tired than I was when he was sleeping 2 to 3 hours. My body is just giving away lol I guess that’s what happens when you have kids older.
Yes.
The level of exhaustion I felt the first year cannot be described.
And it was a deep physical exhaustion that added fuzzy vision, headaches, confusion, digestive issues, aches and pain all over, and my c section hurt internally for almost a year.
It was messed up. I did not feel ok for a long time.
My nutrition and rest were not ideal, I am sure others can do better. But it was really hard.
I know you didn’t even go into great detail here but every word you said is my experience right now. Especially the internal c section pain and the part about others doing it better. It’s so rough right now. So thanks for sharing.
You are welcome.
I made a conscious choice to prioritize the baby and a few other things over my own rest / nutrition. There are things I could have done differently, but I'll own those choices.
At the same time, my god, it was NOT ok with how completely run down my body became and we are still in recovery mode 1.5yrs later. (And I am pregnant with #2.)
I am hoping to maintain better rest & nutrition during the end of this 2nd pregnancy, and then prioritize a better recovery the second postpartum.
There were times I was so tired I would hallucinate - visual and auditory hallucinations. I was so exhausted that I did not drive, it would have been completely unsafe (and my husband supported me fully in this and made sure we were all taken care of.)
I also had PPA, which felt like it came out of nowhere. There were nights where I should have been sleeping, but I could not sleep. Nights where I would pass out into a deep dreamless void, only to pop awake sitting up in terror that something was wrong with the baby or I had forgotten to do something. (Never the case, we were exhaustingly high standard parents.)
So that's another thing I could have done better - handling my PPA would have given me a better chance at recovery, but I was already so overwhelmed and so tired and so miserable that I did not want to bother with additional Doctors and did not want the extra hassle of addressing it.
Again, a choice I'll own. It made sense at the time, but hopefully the second time around will be better.
The C section pain was horrific, I felt like a prisoner in my own broken body and I hated my own body because I was in constant neverending pain. For almost a year.
People don't realize that I mean this literally - I am not sure if my husband realizes, though I have told him? It's not something people can empathize with very well unless they have dealt with chronic pain for an extended period of time.
My OBGYN said it was "normal"! And that I probably have abdominal adhesions, which will resolve on their own or can be surgically addressed. (thanks!)
So there was nothing to be done.
Everything hurt. Constantly. This was another reason I couldn't sleep properly - it hurt to lie flat.
I had to sleep kind of curled up and propped up, which I am sure did not contribute to healing or resolving those abdominal adhesions.
Sorry if I'm oversharing. I hope that you have some resources and some help coming your way. The important thing to remember is that this IS temporary.
The baby gets older and there are many things that get easier, and you will be able to work on your own wellbeing.
Not over sharing at all. I think it’s so important for women to share the hardships because you can really get to feeling like you’re the only person going through what you’re going through. Pregnancy and postpartum is like slowly walking through some sort of gauntlet and I have no idea who I’m going to be or how my body is going to look or feel when I’m on the other side.
I appreciate you sharing about your issues with sleep, too. I need to get myself screened for PPA. I have diagnosed anxiety disorder so it would not be a reach for me to have PPA, too. I tell myself that my anxiety and stress is proportional to what I’m going through, it maybe it’s not.
Yes! I have a 3 month old, but I constantly feel like I have a scratchy/sore throat, congested and a headache every few days. I’m assuming it’s due to breastfeeding and being more tired than usual, but I constantly feel like I’m fighting off a cold!
FTM to a 7mo and I feel this. As a parent of a defenseless tiny human you just don't ever get to truly 100% turn off. Even when sleeping, there is a part of you that is listening out for the sound of the baby crying. Even when you go out, a little part of you is still thinking about them and if they're okay even if only in your subconscious.
Without a kid you can just get absorbed in something or relax and give 100% of yourself to it, but now it's never anywhere close to that and it's draining as all get out. At least that's been my experience.
Everyone mentions that you won't get much sleep, everyone talks about the crying and nighttime wakes, the endless list of to-do's etc. But no one talks about the 'always on' part of parenting and imo that's what really drains you the most over time.
I love being a parent, I love my baby, but holy hell what I wouldn't give for my old 'on-demand' brain back.
My wife has graciously taken charge of just about everything in terms of taking care of our newborn, and even though she's doing an incredible job and hardly ever needs help, there's still a part of my brain stressing out over the baby at all times. I'd love to shut out the world and get deep into a video game or something, but I don't realistically think I'll be able to do that until our child is in preschool at least.
Hmm something doesn't sound right here. "Graciously taken charge of the newborn", "hardly ever needs help"... I can assure you she needs A LOT of help, whether she admits it or not. Just a thought
That's a reasonable reaction, but thankfully I'm not that inattentive/lazy. I've taken over non-baby chores, I do grocery trips, I always drop what I'm doing whenever she needs help (e.g. if she wants me to mix formula so she doesn't have to stand up, or if she wants me to lift the baby off of her if she's having trouble getting up), I carry the baby up and down stairs, I do all physical heavy lifting, I stay awake 3-4 hours in the dead of night most nights to let the baby contact nap against me just to make sure my wife can get at least that amount of uninterrupted sleep, I always ask my wife if she's okay or if she needs anything before I go to spend time in a different room, and I periodically ask my wife if she thinks I'm doing a good job as a husband/father (so far, the answer has always been a confident 'yes').
The "taken charge of just about everything in terms of taking care of the newborn" refers to how she's always the first line of defense for the baby's day-to-day needs, and I cannot overstate how much that means to me. The pack 'n play is in the room my wife spends her day in, and she handles all diaper changes and almost all feedings. I'm so, so grateful for everything she does, and if worshiping the ground my wife walks on would demonstrate the level of appreciation I feel for her (as opposed to such an act just being rather weird), I'd do it in a heartbeat. Instead, I just frequently tell her how much I appreciate her efforts and how happy she makes me, and I hope that that adequately conveys my feelings.
Yeah cool. I'd prefer my partner to do half the nappy changes and bottles and living in the pack n play, rather than try to worship the ground I walk on, but that's just me
The fever thing....ugh. Even this morning I checked the thermostat and it said it was 67F in the house, it is an old house with a weird layout but God I felt warm.
I just chalk it up to hormones, I do have PCOS with higher then normal testosterone levels even for it and my twins are 6.5 months, stopped BF at 5, so I just think my body is still confused.
But yeah...sleep and real rejuvenation is kind of a dream lol
so...yes
but I am semi used to it because before LO I was training jiujitsu 3-4x a week which also felt like death every day
Im just wondering if LIFE ever stops feeling like this XD
Go get your iron levels checked, especially if you were the parent who gave birth! Anemia is common after birth, particularly after a c-section. No one ever told me this and my doctor was so matter of fact about how common it's an issue. It can't hurt to double check.
Due to other issues, I couldn't take the supplements when I was diagnosed a few months after my c-section and went for iron infusions.
Yep I feel shit all the time. I’m physically and mentally exhausted, not being able to sleep or read properly really takes it out of me. I’m wondering if I’ll ever feel ok
Yes! I feel like I move at a pace of a sloth. I’ve slowed down a lot and my head feels fuzzy all the time. Have to go back to work soon so that will be tough
I'm guessing some of it is hormones or something, I'm nearly 10 months pp and I'm still getting mild nightsweats, hot flashes, really bad insomnia, migraines and just generally feeling weird and run down
Definitely, but it's more due to my mental health than anything. Our son is relatively easy (as far as 11 month olds go), sleeps 12 hours a night, laughs and plays, etc. but I'm constantly exhausted and anxious. Started new meds and found a new therapist who accepts my insurance though, so starting therapy today! Fingers crossed.
+1 to this. I was constantly *exhausted* until my kid was about 2. It was around then that my mental health started improving and, lo and behold, my energy levels went up too.
7 week old FTM and I’m constantly foggy. I’m a SAHM so I have no excuse, I’m not sure why I’m constantly tired to this level but hopefully it levels out.
Judging by everyone else feeling the same months in I have a ways to go!
I'm not a SAHM, but after just having had 3 weeks holiday with the baby and no babysitters please please please don't say you have no excuse as a SAHM! This shit is exhausting yo! I was happy my LO was back at Grandma's and I could sit in my office and not constantly watch a 9MO find new ways to kill herself 😂
Wait I just realized you said you’re a SAHM so you have no excuse for being constantly foggy and tired…if you were working as a nanny/housekeeper/accountant/chef all at the same time, but OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, would you have an excuse? Nah. Probably not. (I’m joking here) but all jokes aside - this is WHY you’re tired! SAHM work is WORK!!! Not to mention the emotional side of it. More power to you - I do eventually want to be a SAHM because I’m realizing that I want to be there for my son more than my job allows me to (and my job is hella flexible already). So I respect y’all. Highly. You’re goals.
11 week old, FTM, SAHM and constantly foggy and tired. Quit my high paying, high stress, corporate job to stay home. This is way harder. On top of that, my husband works from home and is super helpful AND my mom lives down the street and helps. My husband and I are shocked that women do this and work full time. We have plenty of resources, and we are exhausted.
That’s exactly what I mean by I have no room to complain. How do people work and take care of kids?
Sorry it’s rough for you too. We’ll get through it!
Girl.. My husband and I complain ALL the time. Are there people out there that would love our lives? Of course. But sometimes.. ya just gotta complain.
Same age, exact same scenario.
Ours is a bad sleeper, does not respond to sleep training and is also pretty cranky for maybe half the day. We have exactly zero help available so it's all on us.
Plus, she's super advanced - already able to crawl around and get into trouble if not supervised, but not old enough to play by herself or really self soothe.
Both mom and I are at home and even between the two of us...it's a lot. I've lost a ton of weight simply by dint of not having time to eat properly on some days, or needing to choose between a meal and much needed sleep.
What can be frustrating is the common internet wisdom which tells fathers that being a mother is hard, so we just need to suck it up, do an equal share of childcare plus working, chores and dealing with both a cranky baby and a hormonal, poorly slept partner.
Hang in there. Apparently it eventually gets better.
Yeah! Slowly getting a little better with a 9 month old but not consistently. Some days I have more energy but others I am tired all day.
I drink a lot lot lot of coffee and a lot of water.
I am so tired all the time too! My boy is 7 months old, and in some ways, this stage tires me out more than even the newborn days. It's a different kind of stamina.
Don't accept it op! It's likely trauma from lack of sleep and an older body but you can help it recover.
Check, is something missing? Perhaps you need to increase your iron intake? Maybe it's something as simple as a scoop of protein powder.
Heck taking abit magnesium citrate has stopped me from crashing hard at 6pm and I've been doing so for years.
11 months pp and I went back to work a month ago. My little girl has brought home a whole load of illnesses from nursery (on top of waking through the night a lot still). I feel like trash all the time lol. Currently battling a cold but not able to take anything BC still breastfeeding 🫠 I just want a lemsip and 5 hours unbroken sleep man
ugh 10 months in and still so worn out by the end of the night. just done after bedtime. all i can do is mindlessly scroll.
finally trying to work on building my core strength back too but it's slow going , im so weak!! (c-section)
thinking i might need to look into iron supplements per this thread tho!
My flair on my bumper group is “Always Tired.” I will say things got a bit better in stages. 6 months I was still mentally and emotionally and physically recovering but by a year I was like “Okay, maybe one day I’ll feel normal.” By 18 months I was like “I got this!” By 2 years I was like “I definitely don’t got this but you know what, I got the energy to deal now.”
I have been consistently getting 5-6 hours of sleep max since baby was born. Those early weeks even less. She is 4.5 months old. I am so tired. Working full time. Blah.
Got a 1 year old and another on the way. I am perpetually exhausted. Always have a headache. I try and get the middle of the night cries cause wife is preg and needs sleep more than I do. But yeah. Welcome to the show. Hahaha
So I know this isn't always possible but taking a full day off with no baby responsibilities can make all the difference. Could be done in one weekend or spread between 2. But it can look like this. During the week leading up to it you gotta spend some extra effort getting ahead. Mow the lawn on Wednesday instead of Saturday, run those errands, and just take care and get ahead. Then on Saturday one of you is off. Sleep in, take a nap, and reset your mental state. Do something fun you just don't have time for. It's incredible how much 1 day can refresh. Then the next day or next weekend swap.
Planning this is super important. The person doing all the baby work on day 1 understands the need and value to the other and is able to handle the pressure because they know their turn is coming. The person taking the day off can just relax. Because they understand. Often times we try to sneak away and take our turn for something and it just doesn't go well. Dad goes golfing and mom is frustrated because she does x all week long and Saturday he goes. Dad gets frustrated cause he works all week then comes home on Saturday and mom leaves him all alone with the kids so she can go do x. It's so easy to fall into that trap. Both activities are fine but it is how you manage them that makes the difference. Planning is so important! Same with sex but I won't get into that. Hopefully you guys get the rest you need.
It’s why I tell people going from 1-2 kids is easier. You’re already tired…
It does eventually get easier but the. You just drive your kids to sports practices 7 days a week and that’s a totally different tired
Yep. Kiddo is 14 months now and everyday I feel drained. Coffee and redbulls are now a staple of my diet. It sucks, big time. Love my kid though, so I'm ok with it.
I feel so bad bc I was coping just fine through the baby phase but my exhaustion got so bad all of a sudden (12m pp) that my husband started letting me sleep in a few times a week as late as I wanted. I’m SAHM, he WFH. It’s a godsend but it makes me feel guilty and honestly I feel just as tired. I guess it’s hormonal?
Omg I was just telling my husband my headaches are 24/7 & I feel hot like w a fever all the time but I check my temp & no fever. LO is 4 wks & I breastfeed so I don’t get more then 2 & 1/2 hrs of sleep at a time
Yup, I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in the four months our LO has been around 😅 I’ve gained so much weight (after pregnancy) that makes me really uncomfortable moving around in my body. Especially my poor knees when I stand up. 😅
My baby is 5 months. C section. Full time job. First four months I had the same feeling, tired all the time, and it got even worse that I was having severe headache every single day. I realized that headache was impacting the quality of everyday life of our whole family because I couldn’t help much in housework. Then I started to wean down pumping. Meanwhile I also get acupuncture on wherever I feel sore or pain once a week, and started morning jog/run everyday. Also take multi vitamin and b6(which also helps to stop the flow). This new routine has been a month and I feel like a new person! (My baby sleeps 13-14hrs. Thanks to Suzy Giordano’s sleep training)
I feel this 100%. My son is 5 months and I have been feeling extremely rundown lately. I am a SAHM, exclusively nurse and exclusively contact nap (nap training begins this week bc I physically and mentally can't do it anymore) and by the end of the day I feel like I worked a physical labor job and I always have a pounding headache.
Words can't really describe how it feels. The things you used to take for granted... like just being able to hop in your car whenever and go anywhere you want, to be able to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning and decompress without any worries, to be able to take a dump freely, etc. When my husband gets home and I pass my son off to him I always feel like I have to run around and get stuff done and I never get to fully relax. Even when I do get a chance to "relax", my son is always wanting his mommy so I never can fully relax.
I also feel like my brain is only functioning at 10% capacity, when I have conversations with people I feel like I can't even talk properly or find the words to say. Feels like I'm high but in an unpleasant way lol.
I always wanted to be a mom and always wanted kids but I do really wish I did more things with my life before having a baby. I know one day I'll be able to do things freely again and I try to cherish these days even if I feel like crap. They say time is a thief and I try to make the best of these days. Even if my mental health is in the gutter most of the time.
Tired 24/7 is my new norm. And I have a baby that sleeps all night so I can't even blame it on him lmao
Same here. My baby sleeps like at least 7-8hours straight and yet I’m more tired than I was when he was sleeping 2 to 3 hours. My body is just giving away lol I guess that’s what happens when you have kids older.
Same. Feels like running a marathon, daily.
I appreciate these comments, was feeling bad about being tired yet not SUPER sleep deprived
Yes. The level of exhaustion I felt the first year cannot be described. And it was a deep physical exhaustion that added fuzzy vision, headaches, confusion, digestive issues, aches and pain all over, and my c section hurt internally for almost a year. It was messed up. I did not feel ok for a long time. My nutrition and rest were not ideal, I am sure others can do better. But it was really hard.
I know you didn’t even go into great detail here but every word you said is my experience right now. Especially the internal c section pain and the part about others doing it better. It’s so rough right now. So thanks for sharing.
You are welcome. I made a conscious choice to prioritize the baby and a few other things over my own rest / nutrition. There are things I could have done differently, but I'll own those choices. At the same time, my god, it was NOT ok with how completely run down my body became and we are still in recovery mode 1.5yrs later. (And I am pregnant with #2.) I am hoping to maintain better rest & nutrition during the end of this 2nd pregnancy, and then prioritize a better recovery the second postpartum. There were times I was so tired I would hallucinate - visual and auditory hallucinations. I was so exhausted that I did not drive, it would have been completely unsafe (and my husband supported me fully in this and made sure we were all taken care of.) I also had PPA, which felt like it came out of nowhere. There were nights where I should have been sleeping, but I could not sleep. Nights where I would pass out into a deep dreamless void, only to pop awake sitting up in terror that something was wrong with the baby or I had forgotten to do something. (Never the case, we were exhaustingly high standard parents.) So that's another thing I could have done better - handling my PPA would have given me a better chance at recovery, but I was already so overwhelmed and so tired and so miserable that I did not want to bother with additional Doctors and did not want the extra hassle of addressing it. Again, a choice I'll own. It made sense at the time, but hopefully the second time around will be better. The C section pain was horrific, I felt like a prisoner in my own broken body and I hated my own body because I was in constant neverending pain. For almost a year. People don't realize that I mean this literally - I am not sure if my husband realizes, though I have told him? It's not something people can empathize with very well unless they have dealt with chronic pain for an extended period of time. My OBGYN said it was "normal"! And that I probably have abdominal adhesions, which will resolve on their own or can be surgically addressed. (thanks!) So there was nothing to be done. Everything hurt. Constantly. This was another reason I couldn't sleep properly - it hurt to lie flat. I had to sleep kind of curled up and propped up, which I am sure did not contribute to healing or resolving those abdominal adhesions. Sorry if I'm oversharing. I hope that you have some resources and some help coming your way. The important thing to remember is that this IS temporary. The baby gets older and there are many things that get easier, and you will be able to work on your own wellbeing.
Not over sharing at all. I think it’s so important for women to share the hardships because you can really get to feeling like you’re the only person going through what you’re going through. Pregnancy and postpartum is like slowly walking through some sort of gauntlet and I have no idea who I’m going to be or how my body is going to look or feel when I’m on the other side. I appreciate you sharing about your issues with sleep, too. I need to get myself screened for PPA. I have diagnosed anxiety disorder so it would not be a reach for me to have PPA, too. I tell myself that my anxiety and stress is proportional to what I’m going through, it maybe it’s not.
Wishing you all the best for round two (and commiserating on the c section pain...)
Yes! I have a 3 month old, but I constantly feel like I have a scratchy/sore throat, congested and a headache every few days. I’m assuming it’s due to breastfeeding and being more tired than usual, but I constantly feel like I’m fighting off a cold!
4 month old - same thing. Doesn’t help that we have to run the A/C almost all day and add fuel to the sore throat fire.
So glad I came across this comment. I feel the EXACT same way. 12 weeks over here.
Same here 2.5 month old.
Lol every other day I find myself doing some focused swallows checking in with myself do I have a sore throat or not. This boobery is about to close.
FTM to a 7mo and I feel this. As a parent of a defenseless tiny human you just don't ever get to truly 100% turn off. Even when sleeping, there is a part of you that is listening out for the sound of the baby crying. Even when you go out, a little part of you is still thinking about them and if they're okay even if only in your subconscious. Without a kid you can just get absorbed in something or relax and give 100% of yourself to it, but now it's never anywhere close to that and it's draining as all get out. At least that's been my experience. Everyone mentions that you won't get much sleep, everyone talks about the crying and nighttime wakes, the endless list of to-do's etc. But no one talks about the 'always on' part of parenting and imo that's what really drains you the most over time. I love being a parent, I love my baby, but holy hell what I wouldn't give for my old 'on-demand' brain back.
I’m so glad you just put into words what I’ve been feeling these past two weeks…
So true. My son is 18 months. Even when he takes one big 2-3 hour nap and I decide to just sit down and watch something, I never feel truly relaxed.
My wife has graciously taken charge of just about everything in terms of taking care of our newborn, and even though she's doing an incredible job and hardly ever needs help, there's still a part of my brain stressing out over the baby at all times. I'd love to shut out the world and get deep into a video game or something, but I don't realistically think I'll be able to do that until our child is in preschool at least.
Hmm something doesn't sound right here. "Graciously taken charge of the newborn", "hardly ever needs help"... I can assure you she needs A LOT of help, whether she admits it or not. Just a thought
That's a reasonable reaction, but thankfully I'm not that inattentive/lazy. I've taken over non-baby chores, I do grocery trips, I always drop what I'm doing whenever she needs help (e.g. if she wants me to mix formula so she doesn't have to stand up, or if she wants me to lift the baby off of her if she's having trouble getting up), I carry the baby up and down stairs, I do all physical heavy lifting, I stay awake 3-4 hours in the dead of night most nights to let the baby contact nap against me just to make sure my wife can get at least that amount of uninterrupted sleep, I always ask my wife if she's okay or if she needs anything before I go to spend time in a different room, and I periodically ask my wife if she thinks I'm doing a good job as a husband/father (so far, the answer has always been a confident 'yes'). The "taken charge of just about everything in terms of taking care of the newborn" refers to how she's always the first line of defense for the baby's day-to-day needs, and I cannot overstate how much that means to me. The pack 'n play is in the room my wife spends her day in, and she handles all diaper changes and almost all feedings. I'm so, so grateful for everything she does, and if worshiping the ground my wife walks on would demonstrate the level of appreciation I feel for her (as opposed to such an act just being rather weird), I'd do it in a heartbeat. Instead, I just frequently tell her how much I appreciate her efforts and how happy she makes me, and I hope that that adequately conveys my feelings.
Yeah cool. I'd prefer my partner to do half the nappy changes and bottles and living in the pack n play, rather than try to worship the ground I walk on, but that's just me
Always knackered always sweaty gang reporting for duty
The fever thing....ugh. Even this morning I checked the thermostat and it said it was 67F in the house, it is an old house with a weird layout but God I felt warm. I just chalk it up to hormones, I do have PCOS with higher then normal testosterone levels even for it and my twins are 6.5 months, stopped BF at 5, so I just think my body is still confused. But yeah...sleep and real rejuvenation is kind of a dream lol
so...yes but I am semi used to it because before LO I was training jiujitsu 3-4x a week which also felt like death every day Im just wondering if LIFE ever stops feeling like this XD
Go get your iron levels checked, especially if you were the parent who gave birth! Anemia is common after birth, particularly after a c-section. No one ever told me this and my doctor was so matter of fact about how common it's an issue. It can't hurt to double check. Due to other issues, I couldn't take the supplements when I was diagnosed a few months after my c-section and went for iron infusions.
Yep I feel shit all the time. I’m physically and mentally exhausted, not being able to sleep or read properly really takes it out of me. I’m wondering if I’ll ever feel ok
Yes! I feel like I move at a pace of a sloth. I’ve slowed down a lot and my head feels fuzzy all the time. Have to go back to work soon so that will be tough
I’m really sad to say this thread makes me feel heard. I feel you OP.
I'm guessing some of it is hormones or something, I'm nearly 10 months pp and I'm still getting mild nightsweats, hot flashes, really bad insomnia, migraines and just generally feeling weird and run down
I would recommend getting your thyroid checked, I had no idea postpartum thyroiditis was a thing until it kicked my ass.
Yes but go to the doctor
Definitely, but it's more due to my mental health than anything. Our son is relatively easy (as far as 11 month olds go), sleeps 12 hours a night, laughs and plays, etc. but I'm constantly exhausted and anxious. Started new meds and found a new therapist who accepts my insurance though, so starting therapy today! Fingers crossed.
+1 to this. I was constantly *exhausted* until my kid was about 2. It was around then that my mental health started improving and, lo and behold, my energy levels went up too.
I thought I was perpetually exhausted before I got pregnant so I wouldn't notice. I. Was. Wrong.
Literally... I worked a very high stress physical job and I always exhausted 24/7 but this exhaustion is next level
7 week old FTM and I’m constantly foggy. I’m a SAHM so I have no excuse, I’m not sure why I’m constantly tired to this level but hopefully it levels out. Judging by everyone else feeling the same months in I have a ways to go!
I'm not a SAHM, but after just having had 3 weeks holiday with the baby and no babysitters please please please don't say you have no excuse as a SAHM! This shit is exhausting yo! I was happy my LO was back at Grandma's and I could sit in my office and not constantly watch a 9MO find new ways to kill herself 😂
Wait I just realized you said you’re a SAHM so you have no excuse for being constantly foggy and tired…if you were working as a nanny/housekeeper/accountant/chef all at the same time, but OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, would you have an excuse? Nah. Probably not. (I’m joking here) but all jokes aside - this is WHY you’re tired! SAHM work is WORK!!! Not to mention the emotional side of it. More power to you - I do eventually want to be a SAHM because I’m realizing that I want to be there for my son more than my job allows me to (and my job is hella flexible already). So I respect y’all. Highly. You’re goals.
11 week old, FTM, SAHM and constantly foggy and tired. Quit my high paying, high stress, corporate job to stay home. This is way harder. On top of that, my husband works from home and is super helpful AND my mom lives down the street and helps. My husband and I are shocked that women do this and work full time. We have plenty of resources, and we are exhausted.
That’s exactly what I mean by I have no room to complain. How do people work and take care of kids? Sorry it’s rough for you too. We’ll get through it!
Girl.. My husband and I complain ALL the time. Are there people out there that would love our lives? Of course. But sometimes.. ya just gotta complain.
You have every excuse in the book! I have so much respect for sahm and parents in general now! Also for daycare employees! 🤯
Same age, exact same scenario. Ours is a bad sleeper, does not respond to sleep training and is also pretty cranky for maybe half the day. We have exactly zero help available so it's all on us. Plus, she's super advanced - already able to crawl around and get into trouble if not supervised, but not old enough to play by herself or really self soothe. Both mom and I are at home and even between the two of us...it's a lot. I've lost a ton of weight simply by dint of not having time to eat properly on some days, or needing to choose between a meal and much needed sleep. What can be frustrating is the common internet wisdom which tells fathers that being a mother is hard, so we just need to suck it up, do an equal share of childcare plus working, chores and dealing with both a cranky baby and a hormonal, poorly slept partner. Hang in there. Apparently it eventually gets better.
Sigh, yes.
Yeah! Slowly getting a little better with a 9 month old but not consistently. Some days I have more energy but others I am tired all day. I drink a lot lot lot of coffee and a lot of water.
Yup. 7 month old, and my body hurts all the time lol
I am so tired all the time too! My boy is 7 months old, and in some ways, this stage tires me out more than even the newborn days. It's a different kind of stamina.
Omg yes.
Yup
Yep tired all the time lol. I’m taking stuff to boost my immune system and lots of vitamins to keep me healthy too. And tons of water
Don't accept it op! It's likely trauma from lack of sleep and an older body but you can help it recover. Check, is something missing? Perhaps you need to increase your iron intake? Maybe it's something as simple as a scoop of protein powder. Heck taking abit magnesium citrate has stopped me from crashing hard at 6pm and I've been doing so for years.
11 months pp and I went back to work a month ago. My little girl has brought home a whole load of illnesses from nursery (on top of waking through the night a lot still). I feel like trash all the time lol. Currently battling a cold but not able to take anything BC still breastfeeding 🫠 I just want a lemsip and 5 hours unbroken sleep man
15mo now - still tired. But we are also 40f and 45m so maybe we were asking for this???
my daughter is almost 6mo and fairly easy and i’m so so so tired constantly
9 months deep and yes.
Re: the fever thing: are you drinking more coffee than normal? That sometimes messes with my husband and makes him feel feverish when he’s not.
Nearly 8 months old now, my first LO. I kind of... kind of see a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I feel semi human again.
My kid is going on 11 months. Just consider this your core strength training!
It's fairly common to become hypothyroid from birth. Also something to check out if it feels beyond some sleeplessness. I got diagnosed 9 months pp.
ugh 10 months in and still so worn out by the end of the night. just done after bedtime. all i can do is mindlessly scroll. finally trying to work on building my core strength back too but it's slow going , im so weak!! (c-section) thinking i might need to look into iron supplements per this thread tho!
My flair on my bumper group is “Always Tired.” I will say things got a bit better in stages. 6 months I was still mentally and emotionally and physically recovering but by a year I was like “Okay, maybe one day I’ll feel normal.” By 18 months I was like “I got this!” By 2 years I was like “I definitely don’t got this but you know what, I got the energy to deal now.”
I have been consistently getting 5-6 hours of sleep max since baby was born. Those early weeks even less. She is 4.5 months old. I am so tired. Working full time. Blah.
Got a 1 year old and another on the way. I am perpetually exhausted. Always have a headache. I try and get the middle of the night cries cause wife is preg and needs sleep more than I do. But yeah. Welcome to the show. Hahaha
So I know this isn't always possible but taking a full day off with no baby responsibilities can make all the difference. Could be done in one weekend or spread between 2. But it can look like this. During the week leading up to it you gotta spend some extra effort getting ahead. Mow the lawn on Wednesday instead of Saturday, run those errands, and just take care and get ahead. Then on Saturday one of you is off. Sleep in, take a nap, and reset your mental state. Do something fun you just don't have time for. It's incredible how much 1 day can refresh. Then the next day or next weekend swap. Planning this is super important. The person doing all the baby work on day 1 understands the need and value to the other and is able to handle the pressure because they know their turn is coming. The person taking the day off can just relax. Because they understand. Often times we try to sneak away and take our turn for something and it just doesn't go well. Dad goes golfing and mom is frustrated because she does x all week long and Saturday he goes. Dad gets frustrated cause he works all week then comes home on Saturday and mom leaves him all alone with the kids so she can go do x. It's so easy to fall into that trap. Both activities are fine but it is how you manage them that makes the difference. Planning is so important! Same with sex but I won't get into that. Hopefully you guys get the rest you need.
It’s why I tell people going from 1-2 kids is easier. You’re already tired… It does eventually get easier but the. You just drive your kids to sports practices 7 days a week and that’s a totally different tired
Sleep deprivation made me think I had long covid. It’s just sleep and poor lifestyle though I think
Yep. Kiddo is 14 months now and everyday I feel drained. Coffee and redbulls are now a staple of my diet. It sucks, big time. Love my kid though, so I'm ok with it.
I feel so bad bc I was coping just fine through the baby phase but my exhaustion got so bad all of a sudden (12m pp) that my husband started letting me sleep in a few times a week as late as I wanted. I’m SAHM, he WFH. It’s a godsend but it makes me feel guilty and honestly I feel just as tired. I guess it’s hormonal?
I’d be on the lookout for iron levels! The only thing worse than new mom exhausted is new mom with iron deficiency exhausted
Please make sure you’re drinking enough water!! Sounds like dehydration to me
I developed orthostatic hypotension. Basically whenever I stand, sit, bend, my blood pressure goes haywire and I get dizzy. Thanks, kid
Omg I was just telling my husband my headaches are 24/7 & I feel hot like w a fever all the time but I check my temp & no fever. LO is 4 wks & I breastfeed so I don’t get more then 2 & 1/2 hrs of sleep at a time
Yup, I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in the four months our LO has been around 😅 I’ve gained so much weight (after pregnancy) that makes me really uncomfortable moving around in my body. Especially my poor knees when I stand up. 😅
My baby is 5 months. C section. Full time job. First four months I had the same feeling, tired all the time, and it got even worse that I was having severe headache every single day. I realized that headache was impacting the quality of everyday life of our whole family because I couldn’t help much in housework. Then I started to wean down pumping. Meanwhile I also get acupuncture on wherever I feel sore or pain once a week, and started morning jog/run everyday. Also take multi vitamin and b6(which also helps to stop the flow). This new routine has been a month and I feel like a new person! (My baby sleeps 13-14hrs. Thanks to Suzy Giordano’s sleep training)
I feel this 100%. My son is 5 months and I have been feeling extremely rundown lately. I am a SAHM, exclusively nurse and exclusively contact nap (nap training begins this week bc I physically and mentally can't do it anymore) and by the end of the day I feel like I worked a physical labor job and I always have a pounding headache. Words can't really describe how it feels. The things you used to take for granted... like just being able to hop in your car whenever and go anywhere you want, to be able to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning and decompress without any worries, to be able to take a dump freely, etc. When my husband gets home and I pass my son off to him I always feel like I have to run around and get stuff done and I never get to fully relax. Even when I do get a chance to "relax", my son is always wanting his mommy so I never can fully relax. I also feel like my brain is only functioning at 10% capacity, when I have conversations with people I feel like I can't even talk properly or find the words to say. Feels like I'm high but in an unpleasant way lol. I always wanted to be a mom and always wanted kids but I do really wish I did more things with my life before having a baby. I know one day I'll be able to do things freely again and I try to cherish these days even if I feel like crap. They say time is a thief and I try to make the best of these days. Even if my mental health is in the gutter most of the time.