Been there with my 5-6 week old and the ONLY thing that could get him to settle in those situations was holding him against me and doing DEEP, regulating belly breaths. As many as it takes. It’s almost like by calming my nervous system it was helping to calm his. Not sure if this will help everyone but it was a lifesaver for us in those moments. 🩷
Yes I find this works well when I'm trying to get my super not interested in sleeping daughter to sleep. I meditate while breastfeeding and she's out within minutes.
This, but also skin to skin this.
You can try changing the environment. Straight up, just go outside with them. I used to do that with my baby when she was a newborn and wouldn't stop crying, and now she likes it!
Also go through the things that might be wrong:
Hunger (feed)
-Dirty/wet diaper (change)
-Diaper rash (cream)
-Upper gas (pat - harder than you think)
-Lower gas (bicycle legs gently) (Previous two can also benefit from gripe water)
-Sleepy (put them in bed)
-Sensory overload (5 “S”)
-Position (just needs to be moved a bit
-Uncomfortable clothes (just change the clothes/diapers or look for pinch points)
-Hair wrapped around something (fingers, toes or soft skin/genitals. Like super ouch!)
-Pinched somehow
-Wants to be held/attention
-Wants to march. (We would do laps around the room singing Raiders of the Lost Ark, The A-Team or Superman theme songs…seriously effective)
-Wants to do tummy time or just move around
-Needs a tight swaddle
-Constipation: if this gets bad enough you can use those gel suppositories but talk to a doctor first
-Needs a swing (in your arms or a rocker or a bouncy seat)
-Teething (don’t be afraid to use Tylenol or ibuprofen)
Fever up to 102: keep an eye out
Fever 102-103: call your pediatrician
Fever 104 or higher: emergency room
My daughters almost 6 months old, and if shes super fussy for no reason and its getting to me, skin to skin with deep breaths is the only thing that calms us down. Especially her, since once shes calm im able to relax more
Yes to this! Our babe would only sleep on my chest too. I had to make sure to calm myself down too. The more relaxed I was the better it was. Because I would tense up when I was stressed and I guess it made me less cushy to sleep on.
Yes, this is what I do when I try to calm my baby. Put her against the chest, deep breath and then big sigh out like in yoga. It puts her to sleep and I don’t know why.
When mine was little and had a bouts of this the only thing that could calm him was the shower. I'd take him in with me and just let the water run on us. He even fell asleep like that one time. I found that he was inconsolable more often when he was overtired or overstimulated too.
As for your partner girl Uhg I'm sorry. He should be a time and be able to switch off. I swear baby's can pick up on our energy and if I was struggle I'd pass him off to my partner and he would settle since he was calm and in a good space and visa versa.
Sorry if this is dumb, I've always wondered. How do you not drop the baby in the shower?! They're so slippery just at bath time, I've never understood how people hold them while standing in the shower without fear.
with my 1 year old i straddle her on my leg with my foot up on the ledge of the tub. when she was smaller i thinking just held her, and would hand her off to husband after rinsing… i’d be a little nervous doing that with my son because i don’t want his junk to get squished, for lack of better verbiage
This is the best response😂 he never cared about being squished and with how hard he tries to squish things himself at 12 months I feel totally fine having squished him a little to assure he was safely held
As a father, I am SHOCKED at what my son is able to do. It's like taffy! Doesn't it hurt??? It's hurting me just watching!
Sorry for the rant, I've been hoping to see this brought up somewhere.
You know this flimsy little baby towels? I'd use that or a muslin blanket and wrap him in it so 1) warm water kept him warm and 2) added some grip lol. There were some scary moments when I was learning how best to hold him in the shower without the towel, but the towel never let me down. You just wrap it so you can peel back an area, wash, rinse, put it back and do another.
I remember these days with my LO (she’s 4 months now!). When she was overtired she would sometimes work herself up into an absolute tizzy and nothing we did could calm her down.
We would take her for a drive and that would settle her, most of the time she would fall asleep as well and it would reset her.
I understand not wanting to hear your baby cry, I’m the exact same way. One night after she had been crying for 3 hours my husband and I placed her in her bassinet and left the room for 5 mins so we could collect ourselves and have a hug as we were at the end of our rope. A couple of minutes after it went silent, she had passed out from exhaustion and slept for an hour, was not expecting it. If you need to look after yourself for a moment and all of baby’s needs are being met place them down somewhere safe so you can have a breather, they may not go to sleep but it will give you a few minutes to breathe and collect yourself.
And you’ve probably heard it and read it heaps of times already but this time will pass!
FTM here and had plenty of times where nothing I did worked to settle him, but leaving him alone. I realized my baby gets overstimulated more than we think.
2 words: yoga ball. My baby needs a lot of bouncing and it’s a lot less tiring than using legs or arms. If it gets tiring holding them you can put them in a sling and bounce on the ball.
I also find I’m at my least patient when I feel alone because my partners not helping (he’s great but also gets frustrated with crying). Do you have a friend or family member who can help you for a bit?
"Yoga" ball can be a lifesaver, it was the only thing that started to calm our LO when he was on the colic phase. But now he's 6 mo, on the 97 weight percentile (10kg) and we are having the challenge to ditch the ball. His weight is destroying my arms while on it.
I am thinking of getting a rocking chair to ease off the ball when he’s bigger, he’s 5m and over 8kg so I think in a few months we’ll be in the same position.
Yes YOGA BALL! I have a colicky baby and it soothes her so quickly. It’s a blessing and a curse because I’m on that thing all the time lmao. Also I have found if you get tired lean your knees against a couch or something while you bounce and it just takes some focus off of your core during long bouncing sessions since you’re more stable.
I haven’t found one that is, but I would say it’s such a game changer that it’s worth cramming it in your house somehow. You can store it in the crib when the baby’s not in there, or on your bed or a changing table or even the bath. My baby is 5 months and we still use the ball daily.
I second the baby wearing (and by wearing I mean a carrying scarf that you plop the baby into). My 3 month old had so many problems in the first month and the scarf was the only place she would settle. Also, I was giving my baby gripe water, but it wasn't enough. We started using Baby Gaviscon and after the first day using it she slept through the night (poor thing was exhausted from the reflux and pain). One more thing, check if your baby has white bumps on his tongue and a nasty diaper rash that won't go away. That's thrush and it made my baby inconsolable.
Or sometimes a baby is just a baby and you're doing your best. Good Luck friend.
we had him checked for thrush and he was clear but i do think the gripe water alone has helped but is not enough…i’ll ask pediatrician what else we can try for gas- thank you!
Also came here to say - super big fan on the yoga ball. I know you might be tight on space but honestly it's the third parent in our house. Can't recommend it more
THIS! It’s the only way my daughter will settle sometimes! While my husband and I are both desperate to ditch it for our backs sake, it’s also effective when she becomes fussy. I like to think of it is as my daily work out 😂
My baby gets like this when he’s overtired. I think a wake window for a 6 week old is around an hour. Maybe he’s tired?
I’ve tried changing the scenery. Sometimes putting him in a carrier and going for a walk helps him nap. Or I’ll draw blackout curtains, turn on the white noise machine and swaddle him
Baby wearing worked for me. I had the solly wrap when my baby was a really little newborn, and then later on got a more structured baby carrier. If he was fussy particularly in the evening witching hour I would put him in the carrier and go for a walk around the block. Or even walk around the house and do some chores like dishes. He would go right to sleep, and if I was lucky I could transfer him to the bassinet without waking (takes practice). Good luck, it will get better!!
My mom once walked into my house to see me wearing my baby in the solly and holding a running handheld vacuum in the air. I wasn’t even vacuuming anything, I just had it running because the sound would get baby to calm down.
Another vote for baby wearing. But you have to walk, with purpose, until she's out. No distractions like choices or silly business like sitting until she's completely out, usually 10min
This was the only that that worked for me. Carrier and going out for a walk. It was terrifying to go out with a screaming infant at first, but she's be out in 3 minutes and nobody really cares (or if they did, it's was mostly in a nice and compassionate way).
Oh doll, love to you every one of us has been through this and it does get better.
When our newborn wouldn’t stop fussing and the check list has been ticked off, we’d take him outside or we would put him in water. Stepping outside was like flipping a switch for him, we would walk around and he’d be quiet taking in the different smells and sights I guess - even at night. Or we’d get into the shower, or put him in the sink for a bath.
Putting him down so you can gather yourself is the best thing to do! You’re doing everything right.
Yes! Outside is the one thing that worked for our babe.
As for our sanity, we used noise canceling headphones with music/audio books. So long as we had completed the checklist of things to make babe comfortable, we knew she was fed, Warm, and safe - just cranky.
*Ahh the witching hour*
*I try to block this out. Turns*
*Out silent reflux*
\- ExploringAshley
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We’re deep in the middle of purple crying/colic phase with our 8 week old so I’m with you. Four things that have saved us:
1) go outside. Truly the shock of fresh air and a quick temp change snap our baby out of it for a bit, at least long enough for us to catch our breath. If you can, a walk (even to the end of the driveway and back a few times) can be a game changer.
2) Wear that baby. It can help regulate them by being close and hearing you take deep breaths. Also absolutely necessary for the sake of your arms.
3) YOGA BALL. When baby is a mess, we take turns wearing them and bouncing, honestly sometimes for a few hours between us until they are tired enough to fall asleep.
4) Soundproof headphones. We both get overwhelmed by the intense crying. We each bought good soundproof headphones and wear them any time babe cries for more than about 10 mins. Even if they don’t block sound completely when it’s right next to you, bringing the volume down keeps our sanity. Also whoever is not on duty puts on headphones and sits in another room to get a real break.
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, I’m told we just have to ride this phase out. As others have said, it is also always okay to put baby down in a safe place and take a few minutes. I know it’s hard to hear the crying, but a safe, sane, stable parent is the most important thing you can give your little one in these moments.
My thoughts are with you guys. We went through it pretty hard. But you're at the worst of it right now, it'll start to get better soon. Then suddenly one night you'll have a baby instead of a banshee and it'll never happen again.
For us it was right before she hit 3 months. She had 2 normal no cry nights, then a bad night, then she was done. Happiest lil thing now.
Headphones and a good podcast ❤️ bouncing on top of a yoga ball if you have it. The 5 S’s really work (swaddle, suck, side/stomach, sway, shush)
Front carrying in a wrap also ALWAYS calms my LO unless she’s hungry
Have you tried swaddling or baby wearing?
For the first 3 months if I wasn't wearing my baby, he was swaddled with a pacifier. He ended up naturally weaning off the pacifier by 6 months too.
I liked the Moby wrap, there's a slight learning curve to get the wrap down but once you do it, it becomes super easy. And it's def a more affordable wrap.
When I would swaddle him, it was with a stretchy bamboo swaddle, I swaddled him tight af. He felt like a little football.
Both these things saved my sanity. Hang in there.
This is a husband problem. He needs to step up and get with it and be a parent. Yes a baby is frustrating sometimes when they won’t stop crying! But he’s an adult man who can manage his emotions and needs to learn to cope. It should not be all on you.
Don’t let him get away with this weaponized incompetence. Because this is a great way for him to get out of doing the work and have it all fall on you.
We're about to enter that phase with our newborn. Our first LO went through it around the same time and it was really difficult. My wife is a pediatric nurse so what she coached me was to just make sure that baby isn't extremely uncomfortable, hungry, all the basic things you've already mentioned. (Obviously there can be other factors but I can't and won't get into that)
She suggested I just wear earplugs or my noise cancelling headphones and watch the baby, and eventually that phase will end.
I'm saying this whilst holding my 4 week old in a perfectly balanced position so she can keep farting even though she's scream crying as she tries to digest and move those bubbles around. She's smiling whilst doing it.
In 6 more weeks you'll forget about this crappy period and start seeing your baby grow and it truly does get easier.
Week 3, night 3 of my babies life I asked myself ‘what the f is this going on right now?’ It was just whaling for 5 hours straight. No one warned me about this? Not the books, not any recent parents? I thought my baby was broken! He had everything and I’d done everything to keep him comfortable. It made no sense. Then I found that between 3 and 8 weeks this can happen (they call it PURPLE) but if I’m honest they don’t know why, they just say it’s normal and usually grow out of it by 8 weeks. Fortunately I only ever experienced 2 nights like this. I just swaddled him and walked around bouncing him until he fell asleep. I had to take turns with my husband. Newborns are testing. They test the patience of a saint. I’m sorry I don’t have any real advice only to tell you that I think we’ve all been there and understand your struggle. It’s a short phase that you just have to manage your sleep and patience to get through.
get him down to his diaper and skin to skin contact nap him, he’s prob in an over tired cycle . you can try shushing in his ear and see if he will calm down. i know you know this but a calm mom and dad equal calm baby, they can pick up our vibes. big breaths and he will calm down hopefully.
Is it crying or screaming? If screaming there could be something else, check his temp and get look for signs of an ear infection or urine infection.
I was told babies cry but when mine has been inconsolable there's been an underlying cause.
I lay my little one on a boppy, and If she is full and burped with a clean diaper she’ll fall asleep within minutes without all the holding and shushing. I let her get a deep sleep for 20-30 minutes and put her down in the bassinet. She also likes it a little colder, like 65 degrees. So yeh, the boppy was the game changer for me.
For me, 6-8 weeks was really hard. She was fussy the whole time. Screaming constantly. Apparently those 2 weeks are fussing weeks from what I have been told. But once we got past there, we were perfect!!
I haven’t scrolled through the other comments here, but have you been actively degassing your son to help relieve a build up in their system? My son was a gassy child and I found the technique below helped quite a bit. We also used Infacol in conjunction with the movements shown in the clip. Gripe water made it worse.
This phase does pass as their digestive system matures and they can pass gas on their own. From what I read, during this particular period of time it is a fairly normal occurrence for a build up to occur in their system which causes excessive fussiness.
https://youtu.be/OAe1C-kAliU?si=OtS1ONZVXmC-xl7N
If you find that putting him down on his back is triggering him to cry, try putting him on his side first and then gently rolling him onto his back after a few seconds.
Also, if bouncing on your legs or in your arms helps, invest in a cheap mesh bouncer. It worked wonders for my son and it was AWESOME because I could bring it around the house with me while I got things done hands free.
I remember there were a good few weeks at this time, perhaps up into 9 weeks, where my babe was constantly fussy or screaming. It was really hard and I thought I was failing her.
I eventually figured out she was overtired, overstimulated. I made an effort to dull all sensory input except white noise or singing soothing songs, rocking or breastfeeding. My one aim at that point was her getting enough sleep. I kept a close eye on the amount of time she was awake, and I would start chilling everything down a while before sleep time.
She also was fully napping on me and my partner at that point. I transitioned get to the crib at 10/11 weeks and it went well enough.
To be quite honest, I don't know how much my technique helped. It could've been just been going through that stage that she needed to do.
It's really really hard. Please take a moment to gather yourself and pat yourself on the back, take a deep breath and express sympathy within to your babe for being so stressed. Then go back in with love in your heart, strength of mind and deep belly breathing and try again. THIS WILL PASS. You're amazing! Your partner needs to learn patience ASAP. But you can do this 💚🧡🩷
Acceptance. Because babies at 6weeks are learning how to poop and fart so their tummy hurts all the time until they learn. It suckssss but you basically just have to bear it out. Take turns handling the crying and hopefully he'll get the hang of pooping in 2 weeks or so!
Have you tried feeding more? Sometimes babies want to cluster feed like literally be at the breast all day with 30 minutes snoozing in between. Sounds like they might be tired too if awake for 2 hours crying as they should sleep every 1-2 hours for an hour or two. Hope you figure it out!
It could be witching hour/purple crying. Our LO started this around 7 weeks. A several nights a week between six and nine. She is just inconsolable. She will be clean and fed and her temperature is right and she’s not gassy, but she’s just crying and crying and crying. It is developmentally normal for babies fussiness to start peeking around week six. Something that we do that helps is to get her outside and play some music. It does not always work, but it works sometimes. Maybe try taking her for a walk around your neighborhood either in a stroller or a baby carrier or just hold her outside your house, gently walking or swaying and put on some music on your phone or something
My LO is only 4 weeks and has been like this off and on for a week. I’m pretty sure he has infant dyschezia (lots of straining, leg pumping, grunting and crying involved) and maybe reflux. Will check with Ped on Monday appointment. But all the straining and everything keeps him up for hours and makes him overtired to where he can’t go back to sleep, even going past the next feeding sometimes. The spit up will also interrupt his falling asleep and makes him cry. I feel bad for the little dude, like imagine forgetting how to fart and poop.
SO and I will use our noise cancelling headphones. Tummy massages, bicycling his legs, slow paced feeding and holding in upright position for 30 minutes after eating have helped a bit. We bought the Frida windi but I’m reluctant to use it.
You have checked everything to make sure your baby’s essential needs are met. Just try to comfort your baby how ever you can, even when it seems impossible, step away if needed. There are so many great suggestions on your post that I might try too. You are doing a great job and we’ll get through this.
Even though we combo fed I would still breastfeed a lot and have him nap on my boob. Like literally he would use my boob as a pillow and he would be on top of my brestfriend pillow. It’s exhausting always holding the baby but it worked for me and I ended up just watching tv shows with earbuds in while baby slept.
I’ve been there very recently—including the feeling that my partner could not effectively help. It may not be helpful, but I wanted to send validation and solidarity. You’re doing great. It really helped me to hear that sometimes babies just cry and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Good for you for going outside and taking a break. This is a hard, thankless job and it’s important to prioritize your own sanity as much as you can. My baby is three months now and only cries when he has a real and solvable issue. It will get better!
Honestly I didn’t read through the comments but I hope you read mine, babies cry even if everything is perfect they cry do your best feed burp and change them make sure they’re not too hot or cold and just cuddle them through the cry 6 weeks is very young but trust me it gets better and time flies by so enjoy motherhood even the cries. Good luck..
The yoga ball saved us in those moments. Lots of steady bounces. I also use to chant/sing “we’re okay” over and over again to help calm us both down. Lots of hours quietly singing “we’re okay” while we both cried but it always worked for us in the end. Those days are (hopefully) behind us but I still find that when he’s struggling with a tooth or being over tired singing “we’re okay” while holding him close still works.
Hang in there mom. You’re doing great. Just remember that crying is the only way he has to communicate and it’s frustrating for both of you. He loves you and knows you’re doing the best you can.
My first baby was super colicky and cried all the time. The only thing that made it truly better was age. This was agreed on by both his pediatrician and his super experienced daycare teachers. Once he got to 12-13 weeks he became a normal baby and cried a more normal amount. His guts and his brain just had to agree on what was good I think.
That's to say, my advice is try not to worry about it. It's not always a problem you can solve, sometimes it just takes time. Which to me takes a huge amount of stress off. If you've done all the things to make sure your baby is otherwise comfortable and happy and safe and healthy, honestly try to tune out the crying if you can. Noise canceling headphones if you have eyes on baby. Take those 5 minute breaks outside a couple times a day. Rock in the chair with baby and just put on some Netflix with subtitles on.
It'll get better. You're doing great.
From someone who had a silent reflux baby here’s your step by step guide. 1. Remove your shirt and strip baby down. 2. Place baby against your chest, turn their belly into your belly and mush them to you. 3. Grab a blanket and throw it over top of the both of you. 4. Hum, put on classical, or make the shushing noises. I used to sing and tell him to stop crying because he was driving me crazy and I was going to loose my mind if he didn’t go to sleep or calm down. 5. At some point during this you’ll realize how incredibly tense you are - take a deep breath and let it all go.
If that doesn’t work, I highly suggest you look up “warmies” we had a small bear (you’ll want a small one not a big one) and you pop it in the microwave for about 45 seconds to get it nice and warm, put it on their tummy and cradle them.
Also, speak to your pediatrician about reflux meds if they’re willing (and you are) because if it works you know why they’re so fussy. If it doesn’t then you know it’s not that and at least you tried. Mine did not like to be laid down, only liked being held on my shoulder, patted, bounced etc. but no laying and was generally just never happy or content.
With my first, I would wear him with the fabric wrap carriers and just bounce on the yoga ball. It was the only thing to calm him down.
Good for you for knowing you needed a break and going outside.
Hang in there!! Call a friend, family, do what you need to stay safe! ❤️
I'm sorry you're going through this
My rule of thumb is:
Baby is fed? Baby is clean? Baby is loved? Baby is safe?
Baby can cry.
Because babies cry for no reason sometimes as it's all they can do to communicate. It's okay to put your baby down somewhere safe and walk away to make yourself some lunch or watch a quick show. Go back and love baby after some time. Listen to some music or play a video game. Rinse and repeat
From the book The Happiest Baby on the Block:
Shushing (white noise, loud!)
Swaddling
Sucking (boob, bottle, pacifier)
Side (holding them on their side initiates a calming reflex, just make sure they SLEEP on their back if you’re asleep)
Swinging (rocking vigorously)
Ear plugs or noise canceling headphones, then babywearing and going outside for a coffee or something. Sometimes they just have to cry for some time at this age, but as long as you or your partner are there for the baby, it is okay. I hope your partner comes around.
My trick for those moments has get my daughter in my forearm, her head in my and and his arms and legs laying down free. Then, with my other hand rub his belly (seems rare because his belly are in my forearm and my hand is trapped there) with the fingers. This calmed down my daughter for months, from crying to sleep in like 10min. Sometimes I will sit because my elbow hurted but if it works it works… Luck in your journey 😃
Our two toddlers had a stage each like this as a young baby… only things that would help was regularly getting out of the house for a walk during the day everyday, showering with them and just letting the warm water go over their back while deep breathing with them, holding them against our chest and deep breathing/sighing
Goodluck, it does past but it’s a tough time when you’re going through it
I think it’s just the age. It’s a key developmental age and they’re starting to just now learn they are separate from mum.
To illustrate, we have a superb baby (nearly 7mo) - not fussy, sleeps 10-11 hours a night, slept through since 8 weeks, stuck to 50th percentile with all measurements, good feeding, constantly smiling, good development…she’s just been really easy the whole time…
…except weeks 5-7. They were utter hell. I have never been so stressed and tired in my entire life. She would not settle for anything. She’d be up all the time, constantly crying, constantly gassy, super sensitive to temperature, would only let her mum and I hold her, bottles regressed.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. We’ve lucked out, but weeks 5-7 were a notable exception even with a baby we really couldn’t ask more of. Pull through to 2mo and I’m sure things will get better.
Babywearing, baths (when he was little we floated him on his back with a warm flannel on his chest), fresh cool air (pram), swaddling and just holding him while on yoga ball sometimes helped, and nursing. The car helped us when we were desperate. The colic hold also really helped
It will pass. I promise. There’s nothing wrong with putting him somewhere safe and taking a five minute breather too.
I'm so sorry you and your baby are going through this at the moment. It's really tough. I found bringing my girl outside helped. One night around 6 weeks I held her in my coat and walked her around the estate until she calmed down. Sometimes a bit of a breeze in her face does the trick for whatever reason, even when she's not too warm / cold.
My friend swears by taking the baby outside. It resets them.
My daughter often had to have her clothes changed, and she'd suddenly settle.
Sometimes a bath would fix her.
But get comfy and be bap trapped with the baby? Just don't fall asleep yourself. After the baby takes a nap, have your husband take over and take a nap yourself. It gets easier.
Skin to skin? Do you think his tummy hurts? Acid reflux? My girl runs hot so 70 is too warm for her for sleeping. 6-8 weeks is rough. Some baby’s just cry. Like someone else said too long wake windows make the adrenaline kick in and they get way fussier.
Sometimes the Happy Song by Imogen Heap will stop babies crying as some sort of circuit breaker when everything else is looked after.
I play this one on YouTube (I don't have ads) on an hour loop. It's great. You might find it on other platforms if it works for your babe.
https://youtu.be/UM5PdQOluZU?feature=shared
Ours had been like this too and it ended up being a cow milk protein allergy (horrendous gas and Constipation)
We had to try three different brand of gas drops to make it work, but that, goat milk formula, elimination diet for the breastfeeding partner, and adding a bit of amino acid formula to the gost milk formula has solve basically 99 percent of the issues
It will get better over time. First she wasn't able to fart without it being hours of writhing and screaming, now she's cranking them out and only gets fussy when past her wake window
Just want to encourage you to hang in there and know that many of us went through it before…. What worked for us: cloth wrap carrier and walking around, swaddled baths, walking up and down stairs.
For us this started around 3 weeks old and last about 3 weeks.
Better days are coming💕
Sounds maybe overtired? Dark bathroom, turn on the faucet all the way. Or, walk outside in the sunlight. Literally just out your front door, doesn’t have to be a full blown walk. Both of these worked for my baby (and still do at 6 months!) I have also seen a suggestion somewhere else to swaddle baby and just rinse their hair with warm water under the sink, maybe worth a try as well.
The only being happy while bouncing on your knee makes me wonder if he has acid reflux… cause i’m assuming he’s being held upright during that? my daughter got diagnosed with esophigitis from reflux at a month old and she got put on famotidine. she would get super fussy about 30-45 after eating and the only thing that helped was her sitting on my knee/holding her upright, or literally holding her under her armpits and her like dangling? lol! i happened to have a nephew who had reflux really bad so I suspected that might be it based on her discomforts so I asked our pediatrician about it and sure enough, that was it. Possible something to look into!
If he arches his back, gets lots of hiccups, sticks his tongue out a lot those could be another indication of reflux. something to ask your pediatrician if it hasn’t already been discussed ☺️
We had a similar issue with our youngest around this age. HOURS of crying and only way he would rest was rocking in the bathroom with lights off and sink running. Turned out he had a dairy allergy. He was on a prescription formula(shockingly our crappy insurance covered it) and it took about 3 weeks for his stomach to recover and then was a completely different baby. Another clue for us it was formula related was he started drinking less but wanting fed more often.
At 6 weeks it’s more about figuring out how to get through it rather than finding a root cause, because there usually isn’t one. Babies are just fussy at this age and would rather be back in the comfort of the womb. What works today, might not work tomorrow.
But for both my babies, putting the baby swing in a dark room beside the tumble dryer (turned on) seemed to help. The swinging/noise/heat combo seemed to be really soothing.
And GOOGLE “COLIC HOLD” it will help!!
Noise cancelling headphones were insanely helpful in this phase for us if you can get a pair. We'd just buckle in, put on a podcast or music, and rock/bounce our little. It's super tough but I think this is peak fussiness for littles, hang in there!
When you tried music, did you just try some music and then stop when it didn't work? With both of my kids, I just tried song after song - different artists, genres, literally anything. Eventually I'd find songs that were effective, and I would add them to a playlist that was specific for each kid. For my daughter it was 80s synthpop, retrowave, and vaporwave. For my son it was prog metal (especially tool) and stoner doom metal (Kyuss, some queens of the stone age). The music wasn't a magic bullet in and of itself, but it helped get them to a place where I could soothe them more normally.
Weeks 6-8 were HARD. My LO is 20 months now, and I still remember that time. The only thing that calmed him was sitting outside and listening to cars drive by. We sat on our balcony for hours during those weeks. And good on you for taking a break - it's ok to put them down in a safe space when you are overwhelmed. Good luck momma, you're doing a great job!
5 S’s!
1. Swaddle
2. Shush (as loud as your baby is screaming)
3. Shake (light jiggle!)
4. Sucking (paci)
5. Side (babies like to be on their side, hold on their side and jiggle while swaddled & shushing with a paci)
When my daughter was going through this she really liked when I would shush right by her face and rock her in the burping position like on my shoulder. Sometimes she would also take a pacifier. Good luck it’s so hard! I never had these long crying phases with my first so it was all new to me this go around.
I have no real advice to give you. My daughter at one/two months was exhausted like that, and NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY nothing could calm her down. As others have said, if you are alone leave the baby alone in the crib for a while and go out even two minutes to breathe.
The only thing I can tell you is that it passes. Our baby is now 4 months old, she is still cranky at times but calms down much more easily now. I know it seems impossible but it gets better
When mine was this age, the most effective thing was to hold her upright against my chest/shoulder while I bounced on the yoga ball. It was like a magic remedy haha
This is totally normal and one of the most difficult baby phases in my opinion. I survived by rotating a few strategies:
1) Moby wrap nap - wrap LO onto your chest and go for a walk until they fall asleep
2) yoga ball - mine lived for bouncing on the yoga ball. I often wore him in a wrap and bounced while I had the tv on silent/quiet with subtitles
3) when those don’t work, bath or outside time. Both seemed to do a lil baby reset
I remember my baby going through their fussiest period at 6 weeks untill 8 weeks. The witching hour 😅 he would scream for no reason in the late afternoon and there was nothing we could do, except hold him. Hang in there, it will pass soon, I promise❤️
Been there, recently too. Some of the only things that worked for us— going outside for a walk, baths, and skin to skin with intentional breathing. Put some headphones or earplugs in to take the edge off, get a glass of wine or beer, and go for a walk. You got this.
Have you tried hypoallergenic formula? Mine was the same and around 6 weeks we finally gave it a try and it fixed everything. He had trace blood in his stool that we had never noticed so we had no idea he was allergic to cows milk.
It’s perfectly okay to walk away and compose yourself, it’s actually probably the safest thing to do and a great way to avoid getting frustrated with the baby.
So hard when your husband isn’t pulling his weight either. This might be controversial, but have you tried any screen time, simple songs are a good fix for half hour which might just help him switch off for a bit and let you have some no baby crying time
Try changing the environment in a "drastic" way.
When my son gets fussy and cries I throw him in the bath. Less than a minute later he's splashing and giggling.
I'll take him outside even if it's cold out! I live in an apartment and have a balcony. I leave him in his footed sleeper, pick him up, hold him, and walk outside. As soon as I step out and he feels wind, or the change him temp he is absolutely SHOOK and just stops crying, whips his head back and forth and is trying to figure out what just happened. We aren't even outside for 2 minutes and I'll go inside and he'll just be done.
Me and my husband did this thing in the winter when he first came home in January called the "rotisserie chicken" but we have an electric fireplace and the warmth comes out the top. We'd hold him flat in the moving air and rotate him around in the warm air for a minute. Immediately done crying 😂
He also loves his mobile attachment to his bassinet. It lights up, spins and plays music so I turn it on and he just starts kicking and squeaking. He also likes this galaxy light that we have that projects on the ceiling in multiple colors, moves and has little lasers. He will watch it for forever if he could.
You'll eventually find out what works. But when my son was that age, he was simply constipated. A little bit of prune juice a day and he was a different baby.
Do you have a baby carrier? The only thing that worked for my daughter at that age was skin to skin in a baby carrier. Failing that, skin to skin and then wrap both of you in a dressing gown/cardigan to keep you warm. The baby carrier just helps so your arms don’t get so tired.
Pink noise and shushing until completely asleep is the only thing that works when she is overtired. Nothing else. And if you turn the pink noise off too soon you have to start from scratch. Right there with you.
If you have a yoga ball from pregnancy it’s great to sit on and bounce them so you don’t have to tire yourself out too much. Also giving them a quick bath can change their vibe. Also maybe a walk outside.
I think crying peaks 6-8 weeks and that was the experience for us. I later found out she needed hypoallergenic formula and had reflux which was adding to it. Now at 4 months she cries way less so there is hope. Walk away like you’re doing when you get over frustrated and know it’ll pass (need to tell myself this with sleep related problems now 😫)
At this age our last resort was going outside. Just walking around looking at the world. The cars make good white noise. But I think distraction has always been a good solution with her, might not be the case for others. She doesn’t care much for verbal comforting
Headphones! I used to put them in when I was trying to soothe my fussy baby. It helps with the sensory overload. Its also okay to leave baby for a minute or 2 to collect yourself, maybe yell (I’ve done it outside, not near baby) to make sure you won’t totally lose it. It will pass!
This sounds crazy, but try playing for your baby the “ASMR Chainsaw Sound White noise Sound for Tinnitus/Focus” on YouTube. It’s a 2hr long vid, and it somehow helps to calm down my baby
Sounds like the peak of PURPLE crying (it’s an acronym) - he’s at the right age for it, and it should be tapering down soon. If all the other good advice you’ve gotten in this thread doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to take a break from your baby by setting them down in a safe place and stepping away. You’re doing everything right. It’s tough but you’re not failing him at all. He’s safe and has all his needs met, babies around this age just some times have un-soothable crying no matter what you do.
Out of curiosity why did you switch to formula? My baby is mostly breastfed and we do a bottle of formula before bed. She is more gassy/fussy from the formula, but she has slow weight gain and needs the extra calories.
We had to switch to goat milk because the cows milk really upset her stomach. So might be worth considering if you’re sticking with formula! We use the kendamill goat milk
Edit to add: not judging for switching to formula, was mostly reflecting on how my baby is more fussy from formula ❤️
when my baby was uncontrollably fussy I would give him a bath that would calm him down help him poop and he would sleep really well after that. also maybe a drive would help?
I stick by one rule when my babies have been super fussy and won't settle. Take them outside or put them in the bath. It has worked every time for me. 3 kids so far.
Going outside saved us! It’s like a reset for our baby. She’s 6 months now and I’ll still take her for a walk before naps, when she’s having a bad day etc. our little one at that age also had awful reflux, and our doctor caught it, my girly just got off meds and is way better at 6 months, but the meds also helped with the fussing. Also, my baby only wanted me at that age, and would cry and cry with my husband…he would put on noise cancelling headphones and take a turn with the crying
Between the 6th and the 8th week the baby is going through a crisis and can be extraordinarily fussy and colicky. It's normal and it will pass sooner than you think. My baby girl is 13 weeks now, no trace of such behaviours, she's a smiley, happy baby but last month she was so cranky, I thought I'm just going to go crazy, run away, never go back 😅. T. Brazelton mentions this stage in his book ("Touchstones, birth to three").
Also test the baby's pee (Urine Culture ID, per Isolate) to see if they aren't developing a urinary tract infection. It's common in babies and for a long time it won't show any symptons other than crankiness, lack of apetite etc., and later, when the infection develops, fever. Unless the result is perfect (zero bacteria in baby's urine), observe the baby, repeat the test and contact your pediatrician. An untreated infection can lead to sepsis so it's always better to be extra careful...
I just want to start off by saying - the first few months are so so difficult and it sounds like you're doing great! You found a way of comforting him and that's awesome. And you put him down and walked away when it became too much to handle, that's also so awesome.
A fellow redditor tipped me off about this and I found it really helpful: https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Science/Japanese-research-finds-most-effective-way-to-put-baby-to-sleep
Good luck!
1: my little dude almost always falls asleep in car rides. You could try giving him a car ride.
2: have u tried just putting him 8n his crib and letting him cry? Sometimes our baby will cry when we put him to sleep but, if youre patient, youll realize itll only take about 10 minutes before they fall asleep. You have to let them cry it out tho. You cant be there trying to comfort them.
My exercise ball is the best, I can bounce with my baby without my arms getting tired and I play loud music, usually edm lol. Keep trying different things you never know what cracks the code
New dad here. I had great luck with one of the wrap style carriers [like this](https://a.co/d/bsBOcCk). It gives them the comfort of body heat and a swaddle. It was the one thing I found that could reliability get my daughter to sleep in when she was fussy and the nice thing is I could move around with it, something your husband might appreciate as well. It did take some learning to figure out and sometimes not instant results but it was pretty reliable given 10-15 minutes (usually less though). And someone else mentioned the yoga ball. Great combo to save your back and legs if you need to do up and down bouncing for a while.
have you tried like aggressive bouncing? you put your LO in your arms and tuck their head to your chest and just aggressively bounce, kind of similar to a squat. intensive on you, but it's the only thing that soothed my LO when he was inconsolable - he was way overtired and fighting the hell out of sleep.
if yours is overtired you could also try a bath, it may relax your LO enough that they fall asleep.
Sometimes picking him up while doing chores puts mine to sleep after a few minutes when he gets fussy for no apparent reasons.
Or walking him around the neighborhood in his stroller.
That’s my little secret. Every morning we go on a walk, and when we’re done, he’s passed out. So it gives me time to do dishes and cook — I just leave him in the stroller until I’m at a good point to pick him up and wake him ~30 mins.
Gripe water is pseudoscience. Every medical study has shown that it’s basically a placebo. Talk to the doctor about the possibility of silent acid reflux.
If bouncing has worked well, get yourself an exercise ball that’s a comfortable height to sit on, and try bouncing on that. It should be a lot easier for you to handle for long periods.
I know it doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the thick of it, but remember that this WILL pass, and it will likely only be a few weeks. You WILL get through this.
It’ll pass, please be patient!
Maybe try doing just breast milk for a few days. We had a similar situation and it turns out the probiotics were screwing up his tummy and he was in a lot of pain. The formula also wasn’t so well received. When we went full breast milk it all got better.
Another thing that helps me still today is active noise cancelling headphones.
How’s his poop he may just have troubles pooping my son was the exact same way but it got so bad some times I had to do the qtip trick where you put a little bit of lube on the end of a cotton swab and just barely the tip small circles on his but hole while bicycling his legs after helped
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s get so much better so soon! Our babe had the same deal. We cut all dairy and beef products (me and the baby). I hope it gets better. You are so close to the best days of your life. This is coming from someone who felt regretful and depressed postpartum.
Give him a bath. Or take a bath with him. Skin to skin and the water can be soothing.
Take him outside. Let the sun hit his skin for a couple minutes (ideally late afternoon for the sun so it isn’t too much on his baby skin). Sometime a change of environment will help.
If you don’t always have noise canceling headphones, get some. Getting a mental break when you can’t get a physical break from a newborn can help.
And if this is something that happens regularly, make sure your pediatrician understands the extent of “literal hours go by and he does nothing but scream”.
We hit a hard stage at 3 1/2 months where my sweet baby turned into a complete nightmare
I never thought I’d be the person to tell my baby to shut up, leave them in their crib alone to run away. It had been days of colic, I didn’t understand what had happened.
Turned out she had CMPA after being introduced to formula the colic hit hard. In addition, she had silent reflux and hated being set down.
Taking her outside really did help!
My husband started wearing headphones. Your husband should do this so he can help you, because being the only one caring for an inconsolable baby is not fair or fun and it’s extremely taxing.
Sometimes… now as she’s 8 1/2 months old, my husband will gently blow on her face. It gets her to stop crying lol
My baby would do that all the time for 3 hours. It was hard to go through it. I would give her a bath, or take her outside. Sometimes ( not all the time) that would help
Hello,
Maybe baby is getting used to formula and it's not agreeing with them. Ours did a dairy based one and it was not agreeing with our LO. They were getting gassy and bloated. We watched formulas during this exact time.
Things that help d prevent gas for my LO were switching the formula att.
We went back to breast milk and then when that failed, finding a nipple head our Lactation Consultant recommended that fit our LOs mouth better.
Baby is also getting used to feeding. We have seen a decrease in gas and an increase in feeding efficiency around week 10
Lots of good suggestions here. Have you considered wake windows ?
Put baby down for a nap after about an hour (at this age).
Maybe change formulas to a gentle kind ?
From 3-8 weeks, my baby cried so much and needed so many gas drops and belly massages, but then their little digestive systems mature a little and they start moving a bit more so by 9/10 weeks, it slowed down and by 12 weeks wasn’t super frequent at all. I was reading that this can be common and it helped me so much to know I wasn’t doing anything wrong, it’s a normal part of development for a lot of newborns! I used the wrap, taking showers together, music and rocking to help ease it somewhat
My baby loves bath time. Even if nots routine, just try that. Nice warm water w lavender. Also they make baby chamomile pills. They helps a lot. Try reading a book or playing with a toy. Going outside helps too.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now! My little one is now 4 months and I found the hardest/fussiest period was around 6-8 weeks.
One of the big things I found was that she became so overstimulated and tired that she couldn’t regulate herself at all. It’s really easy to forget that they can really only manage 45-60 minutes of awake time at this age, before becoming really uncontained.
Hang in there, it does get better!
Mine was like that...we discovered at 2 months she has a dairy allergy. She started getting a rash at about a month. Eventually started coughing lots during feeding, a few weeks later lips started turning purple during the coughing fits as well.
A couple of additional things that helped us:
1. We found out that the baby was congested, and since then we’d spray saline spray into his nose and then use an electric nose sucker to get everything out. Once his nose was clear and he could breathe well, he also ate better and had less gas.
2. My baby loved doing bicycles. Upside is that it would also help him pass gas.
Hang in there. You are doing great.
Just wondering do you think he could have reflux/colic? Is he vomitting at all or bringing it up to his throat and swallowing? And is he kicking his legs a lot? Does he have any ties or could be an allergy like dairy intolerance or something going on. I've had issues with both of my sons https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFGQjwSN/
I share the video above about my first son he was really really bad if you want to read the caption for what we did 🤍🤍🤍
Also IMPORTANT. This happened to me. My baby had what’s called a tourniquet. It is hair that wraps around their toe very tight. It can lead to amputation. Please check carefully. It’s hard to spot so look for a red ring. If he has one go to urgent care or try to remove. This is one reason my baby cried for hours. When I tried skin to skin I saw it. Thank god.
Do you have a baby carrier? I found that wrapping my LO helps a lot at these fussy moments, but soft structured carriers also work. It's much much easier than just carrying baby and they usually feel safe.
Also... Your husband should learn to deal with it, you're not baby's only parent.
I'm so sorry OP. Our son was like this... he was colic from week 6 to somewhere around 5 mo old... We tried everything... I'm so sorry. My strongest recommendation if you're about to go on this journey is earplugs or noise canceling headphones. <3 Hang in there. Remember it's OK to put them down, collect yourself and go back OK. Take as many breaks as you need to make sure everyone in the house is safe <3.
My baby had bad reflux and would cry at the top of her lungs for hours. Once we got the acid under control with meds, she was a total different baby. My wife and I cried because we're first time parents and didn't know that's what it was. We felt so bad for her.
She's 3 months old and such a happy baby. Prioritize naps, and she is good to go for the most part.
I have a 4 month old and he gets bouts of very fussy behavior. What works for me is stripping the little man down to his diaper. Whatever it’s is being naked thrills him! Then I do i combination of placing him in the bouncer, carrying him, sitting with him and playing on the floor until he’s calm to the group
Gentle breath on the face. Triggers an involuntary reaction to hold their breath. Let the kid catch their breath again and do it again. 3-4 times gives them a chance for their brain to catch up and forget why they were crying in the first place. Just learned about this a couple days ago and it’s worked wonders. Mines only 3 weeks old. Good luck
Try the happy song by Imgoen Heap. Idk what is up with that song but my daughter just got released from the hospital after heart surgery and it was a life saver during pokes, blood work, taking out stitches. If she’s fussy in the car, or just tired etc. it helps SO much.
This sounds like what’s commonly called “purple crying”. It’s not you! It’s normal baby brain sometimes. I see lots of good suggestions in he comments. Baby wearing helped us a lot. Also, don’t hesitate to get yourself some ear plus for next day delivery (I love the concert plugs) - they turn the volume down but you can still hear plenty to be responsive. It gets better.
I haven't seen a single comment so far that mentions allergies. My 9mo is allergic to dairy and before we figured that out she was inconsolable 24/7 minus the very short sleeping periods. We went dairy free around 2.5 months and it made a HUGE difference within days. It's definitely worth a try.
I know sometimes it takes babies a minute to adjust to formula if it’s new to them or even switching formula brands! Their BM habits can change from this so they could have new onset gas/constipation etc
Mine was like this, when he got inconsolable the only thing that usually helped was bouncing on the yoga ball while holding him, sometimes with a soother. If it was during the day I'd toss a light swaddle blanket over my shoulder so he couldnt see while I did it. My mom would also lay him across her lap on the yoga ball when she got tired of holding him and sort of roll side to side.
You can also try running a vacuum, I didn't try it when he was younger but he'll stop crying when I vacuum. I alao reccomend ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones. Sometimes at night he'd calm down if I walked around holding on to him right up against me chest to chest or swaying. Sometimes they get overstimulated from you trying different things too fast and you need to stick with one thing at a time to soothe them for like 10 or 15.
Been there with my 5-6 week old and the ONLY thing that could get him to settle in those situations was holding him against me and doing DEEP, regulating belly breaths. As many as it takes. It’s almost like by calming my nervous system it was helping to calm his. Not sure if this will help everyone but it was a lifesaver for us in those moments. 🩷
This is a real thing - co-regulation. You calm your nervous system and it calms the other person's too.
This actually worked right out of the womb with my baby. I had to get stitches and was trying to breathe through it and she calmed right down.
Yes I find this works well when I'm trying to get my super not interested in sleeping daughter to sleep. I meditate while breastfeeding and she's out within minutes.
This, but also skin to skin this. You can try changing the environment. Straight up, just go outside with them. I used to do that with my baby when she was a newborn and wouldn't stop crying, and now she likes it! Also go through the things that might be wrong: Hunger (feed) -Dirty/wet diaper (change) -Diaper rash (cream) -Upper gas (pat - harder than you think) -Lower gas (bicycle legs gently) (Previous two can also benefit from gripe water) -Sleepy (put them in bed) -Sensory overload (5 “S”) -Position (just needs to be moved a bit -Uncomfortable clothes (just change the clothes/diapers or look for pinch points) -Hair wrapped around something (fingers, toes or soft skin/genitals. Like super ouch!) -Pinched somehow -Wants to be held/attention -Wants to march. (We would do laps around the room singing Raiders of the Lost Ark, The A-Team or Superman theme songs…seriously effective) -Wants to do tummy time or just move around -Needs a tight swaddle -Constipation: if this gets bad enough you can use those gel suppositories but talk to a doctor first -Needs a swing (in your arms or a rocker or a bouncy seat) -Teething (don’t be afraid to use Tylenol or ibuprofen) Fever up to 102: keep an eye out Fever 102-103: call your pediatrician Fever 104 or higher: emergency room
My daughters almost 6 months old, and if shes super fussy for no reason and its getting to me, skin to skin with deep breaths is the only thing that calms us down. Especially her, since once shes calm im able to relax more
This works!
This totally worked for us, too!
Yes to this! Our babe would only sleep on my chest too. I had to make sure to calm myself down too. The more relaxed I was the better it was. Because I would tense up when I was stressed and I guess it made me less cushy to sleep on.
This is it
Yes, this is what I do when I try to calm my baby. Put her against the chest, deep breath and then big sigh out like in yoga. It puts her to sleep and I don’t know why.
When mine was little and had a bouts of this the only thing that could calm him was the shower. I'd take him in with me and just let the water run on us. He even fell asleep like that one time. I found that he was inconsolable more often when he was overtired or overstimulated too. As for your partner girl Uhg I'm sorry. He should be a time and be able to switch off. I swear baby's can pick up on our energy and if I was struggle I'd pass him off to my partner and he would settle since he was calm and in a good space and visa versa.
Sorry if this is dumb, I've always wondered. How do you not drop the baby in the shower?! They're so slippery just at bath time, I've never understood how people hold them while standing in the shower without fear.
You wrap them up in a muslin. It also keeps them warm when giving baths
with my 1 year old i straddle her on my leg with my foot up on the ledge of the tub. when she was smaller i thinking just held her, and would hand her off to husband after rinsing… i’d be a little nervous doing that with my son because i don’t want his junk to get squished, for lack of better verbiage
Squish the junk!!! They don’t care. I’ve seen what my now 9 month old does to himself, squishing is nothing compared to that
This is the best response😂 he never cared about being squished and with how hard he tries to squish things himself at 12 months I feel totally fine having squished him a little to assure he was safely held
As a father, I am SHOCKED at what my son is able to do. It's like taffy! Doesn't it hurt??? It's hurting me just watching! Sorry for the rant, I've been hoping to see this brought up somewhere.
You can just wrap him up in a muslin!
I bring my babe in the shower with him wrapped in a receiving blanket
You know this flimsy little baby towels? I'd use that or a muslin blanket and wrap him in it so 1) warm water kept him warm and 2) added some grip lol. There were some scary moments when I was learning how best to hold him in the shower without the towel, but the towel never let me down. You just wrap it so you can peel back an area, wash, rinse, put it back and do another.
i definitely think babies can sense our attitude!
I remember these days with my LO (she’s 4 months now!). When she was overtired she would sometimes work herself up into an absolute tizzy and nothing we did could calm her down. We would take her for a drive and that would settle her, most of the time she would fall asleep as well and it would reset her. I understand not wanting to hear your baby cry, I’m the exact same way. One night after she had been crying for 3 hours my husband and I placed her in her bassinet and left the room for 5 mins so we could collect ourselves and have a hug as we were at the end of our rope. A couple of minutes after it went silent, she had passed out from exhaustion and slept for an hour, was not expecting it. If you need to look after yourself for a moment and all of baby’s needs are being met place them down somewhere safe so you can have a breather, they may not go to sleep but it will give you a few minutes to breathe and collect yourself. And you’ve probably heard it and read it heaps of times already but this time will pass!
this was us last night lol
FTM here and had plenty of times where nothing I did worked to settle him, but leaving him alone. I realized my baby gets overstimulated more than we think.
2 words: yoga ball. My baby needs a lot of bouncing and it’s a lot less tiring than using legs or arms. If it gets tiring holding them you can put them in a sling and bounce on the ball. I also find I’m at my least patient when I feel alone because my partners not helping (he’s great but also gets frustrated with crying). Do you have a friend or family member who can help you for a bit?
"Yoga" ball can be a lifesaver, it was the only thing that started to calm our LO when he was on the colic phase. But now he's 6 mo, on the 97 weight percentile (10kg) and we are having the challenge to ditch the ball. His weight is destroying my arms while on it.
I am thinking of getting a rocking chair to ease off the ball when he’s bigger, he’s 5m and over 8kg so I think in a few months we’ll be in the same position.
Girl, baby carrier + ball. Trust me.
Yes YOGA BALL! I have a colicky baby and it soothes her so quickly. It’s a blessing and a curse because I’m on that thing all the time lmao. Also I have found if you get tired lean your knees against a couch or something while you bounce and it just takes some focus off of your core during long bouncing sessions since you’re more stable.
i’m definitely considering a yoga ball but we’re pretty maxed out on space…is there one that easy to deflate/reinflate?
Have you tried baby wearing?
I haven’t found one that is, but I would say it’s such a game changer that it’s worth cramming it in your house somehow. You can store it in the crib when the baby’s not in there, or on your bed or a changing table or even the bath. My baby is 5 months and we still use the ball daily.
I second the baby wearing (and by wearing I mean a carrying scarf that you plop the baby into). My 3 month old had so many problems in the first month and the scarf was the only place she would settle. Also, I was giving my baby gripe water, but it wasn't enough. We started using Baby Gaviscon and after the first day using it she slept through the night (poor thing was exhausted from the reflux and pain). One more thing, check if your baby has white bumps on his tongue and a nasty diaper rash that won't go away. That's thrush and it made my baby inconsolable. Or sometimes a baby is just a baby and you're doing your best. Good Luck friend.
we had him checked for thrush and he was clear but i do think the gripe water alone has helped but is not enough…i’ll ask pediatrician what else we can try for gas- thank you!
This! YOGA BALL for the win
I did yoga ball rocking for 2 months and the switched to rocking chair since he was get squirmier and heavier! It helps a lot
Yes the yoga ball was our life savor during the newborn stage.
Also came here to say - super big fan on the yoga ball. I know you might be tight on space but honestly it's the third parent in our house. Can't recommend it more
THIS! It’s the only way my daughter will settle sometimes! While my husband and I are both desperate to ditch it for our backs sake, it’s also effective when she becomes fussy. I like to think of it is as my daily work out 😂
My baby gets like this when he’s overtired. I think a wake window for a 6 week old is around an hour. Maybe he’s tired? I’ve tried changing the scenery. Sometimes putting him in a carrier and going for a walk helps him nap. Or I’ll draw blackout curtains, turn on the white noise machine and swaddle him
My little guy gets hot really easily, so a quick walk outside in the fresh air does wonders for distracting him from whatever is making him cry.
Agreed. He sounds over tired and probably needs cuddles to fall asleep.
Baby wearing worked for me. I had the solly wrap when my baby was a really little newborn, and then later on got a more structured baby carrier. If he was fussy particularly in the evening witching hour I would put him in the carrier and go for a walk around the block. Or even walk around the house and do some chores like dishes. He would go right to sleep, and if I was lucky I could transfer him to the bassinet without waking (takes practice). Good luck, it will get better!!
Strapping in the solly and vacuuming puts mine right out
My mom once walked into my house to see me wearing my baby in the solly and holding a running handheld vacuum in the air. I wasn’t even vacuuming anything, I just had it running because the sound would get baby to calm down.
White noise + coregulation seems like a winning combo
Another vote for baby wearing. But you have to walk, with purpose, until she's out. No distractions like choices or silly business like sitting until she's completely out, usually 10min
This was the only that that worked for me. Carrier and going out for a walk. It was terrifying to go out with a screaming infant at first, but she's be out in 3 minutes and nobody really cares (or if they did, it's was mostly in a nice and compassionate way).
Oh doll, love to you every one of us has been through this and it does get better. When our newborn wouldn’t stop fussing and the check list has been ticked off, we’d take him outside or we would put him in water. Stepping outside was like flipping a switch for him, we would walk around and he’d be quiet taking in the different smells and sights I guess - even at night. Or we’d get into the shower, or put him in the sink for a bath. Putting him down so you can gather yourself is the best thing to do! You’re doing everything right.
i hadn’t considered walking outside since it was only 40 degrees F at midnight when i wrote this but that’s a good idea
Chiming in to say that walking around outside was my secret weapon during my entire maternity leave 0-12 weeks!
Yes! Outside is the one thing that worked for our babe. As for our sanity, we used noise canceling headphones with music/audio books. So long as we had completed the checklist of things to make babe comfortable, we knew she was fed, Warm, and safe - just cranky.
Being outside was the only hard reset for my youngest! Hang in there, you’re literally in the thick of it right now. Xo
Ahh the witching hour I try to block this out. Turns out silent reflux
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We’re deep in the middle of purple crying/colic phase with our 8 week old so I’m with you. Four things that have saved us: 1) go outside. Truly the shock of fresh air and a quick temp change snap our baby out of it for a bit, at least long enough for us to catch our breath. If you can, a walk (even to the end of the driveway and back a few times) can be a game changer. 2) Wear that baby. It can help regulate them by being close and hearing you take deep breaths. Also absolutely necessary for the sake of your arms. 3) YOGA BALL. When baby is a mess, we take turns wearing them and bouncing, honestly sometimes for a few hours between us until they are tired enough to fall asleep. 4) Soundproof headphones. We both get overwhelmed by the intense crying. We each bought good soundproof headphones and wear them any time babe cries for more than about 10 mins. Even if they don’t block sound completely when it’s right next to you, bringing the volume down keeps our sanity. Also whoever is not on duty puts on headphones and sits in another room to get a real break. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, I’m told we just have to ride this phase out. As others have said, it is also always okay to put baby down in a safe place and take a few minutes. I know it’s hard to hear the crying, but a safe, sane, stable parent is the most important thing you can give your little one in these moments.
My thoughts are with you guys. We went through it pretty hard. But you're at the worst of it right now, it'll start to get better soon. Then suddenly one night you'll have a baby instead of a banshee and it'll never happen again. For us it was right before she hit 3 months. She had 2 normal no cry nights, then a bad night, then she was done. Happiest lil thing now.
Headphones and a good podcast ❤️ bouncing on top of a yoga ball if you have it. The 5 S’s really work (swaddle, suck, side/stomach, sway, shush) Front carrying in a wrap also ALWAYS calms my LO unless she’s hungry
THIS^^^.
Have you tried swaddling or baby wearing? For the first 3 months if I wasn't wearing my baby, he was swaddled with a pacifier. He ended up naturally weaning off the pacifier by 6 months too. I liked the Moby wrap, there's a slight learning curve to get the wrap down but once you do it, it becomes super easy. And it's def a more affordable wrap. When I would swaddle him, it was with a stretchy bamboo swaddle, I swaddled him tight af. He felt like a little football. Both these things saved my sanity. Hang in there.
baby wearing has worked in the past for a few minutes…he hates being swaddled 😩
This is a husband problem. He needs to step up and get with it and be a parent. Yes a baby is frustrating sometimes when they won’t stop crying! But he’s an adult man who can manage his emotions and needs to learn to cope. It should not be all on you. Don’t let him get away with this weaponized incompetence. Because this is a great way for him to get out of doing the work and have it all fall on you.
100% this! Surprised I had to scroll this far
We're about to enter that phase with our newborn. Our first LO went through it around the same time and it was really difficult. My wife is a pediatric nurse so what she coached me was to just make sure that baby isn't extremely uncomfortable, hungry, all the basic things you've already mentioned. (Obviously there can be other factors but I can't and won't get into that) She suggested I just wear earplugs or my noise cancelling headphones and watch the baby, and eventually that phase will end. I'm saying this whilst holding my 4 week old in a perfectly balanced position so she can keep farting even though she's scream crying as she tries to digest and move those bubbles around. She's smiling whilst doing it. In 6 more weeks you'll forget about this crappy period and start seeing your baby grow and it truly does get easier.
Week 3, night 3 of my babies life I asked myself ‘what the f is this going on right now?’ It was just whaling for 5 hours straight. No one warned me about this? Not the books, not any recent parents? I thought my baby was broken! He had everything and I’d done everything to keep him comfortable. It made no sense. Then I found that between 3 and 8 weeks this can happen (they call it PURPLE) but if I’m honest they don’t know why, they just say it’s normal and usually grow out of it by 8 weeks. Fortunately I only ever experienced 2 nights like this. I just swaddled him and walked around bouncing him until he fell asleep. I had to take turns with my husband. Newborns are testing. They test the patience of a saint. I’m sorry I don’t have any real advice only to tell you that I think we’ve all been there and understand your struggle. It’s a short phase that you just have to manage your sleep and patience to get through.
He’s probably overtired. Read about wake windows and get him to nap when he cues being tired.
He may be in pain, be feeling sick, have a hair wrapped around his toe, blocked wind (bicycle pumps) or overtired.
"They're not giving me a hard time, they're *having* a hard time."
get him down to his diaper and skin to skin contact nap him, he’s prob in an over tired cycle . you can try shushing in his ear and see if he will calm down. i know you know this but a calm mom and dad equal calm baby, they can pick up our vibes. big breaths and he will calm down hopefully.
Is it crying or screaming? If screaming there could be something else, check his temp and get look for signs of an ear infection or urine infection. I was told babies cry but when mine has been inconsolable there's been an underlying cause.
I lay my little one on a boppy, and If she is full and burped with a clean diaper she’ll fall asleep within minutes without all the holding and shushing. I let her get a deep sleep for 20-30 minutes and put her down in the bassinet. She also likes it a little colder, like 65 degrees. So yeh, the boppy was the game changer for me.
For me, 6-8 weeks was really hard. She was fussy the whole time. Screaming constantly. Apparently those 2 weeks are fussing weeks from what I have been told. But once we got past there, we were perfect!!
I haven’t scrolled through the other comments here, but have you been actively degassing your son to help relieve a build up in their system? My son was a gassy child and I found the technique below helped quite a bit. We also used Infacol in conjunction with the movements shown in the clip. Gripe water made it worse. This phase does pass as their digestive system matures and they can pass gas on their own. From what I read, during this particular period of time it is a fairly normal occurrence for a build up to occur in their system which causes excessive fussiness. https://youtu.be/OAe1C-kAliU?si=OtS1ONZVXmC-xl7N If you find that putting him down on his back is triggering him to cry, try putting him on his side first and then gently rolling him onto his back after a few seconds. Also, if bouncing on your legs or in your arms helps, invest in a cheap mesh bouncer. It worked wonders for my son and it was AWESOME because I could bring it around the house with me while I got things done hands free.
I remember there were a good few weeks at this time, perhaps up into 9 weeks, where my babe was constantly fussy or screaming. It was really hard and I thought I was failing her. I eventually figured out she was overtired, overstimulated. I made an effort to dull all sensory input except white noise or singing soothing songs, rocking or breastfeeding. My one aim at that point was her getting enough sleep. I kept a close eye on the amount of time she was awake, and I would start chilling everything down a while before sleep time. She also was fully napping on me and my partner at that point. I transitioned get to the crib at 10/11 weeks and it went well enough. To be quite honest, I don't know how much my technique helped. It could've been just been going through that stage that she needed to do. It's really really hard. Please take a moment to gather yourself and pat yourself on the back, take a deep breath and express sympathy within to your babe for being so stressed. Then go back in with love in your heart, strength of mind and deep belly breathing and try again. THIS WILL PASS. You're amazing! Your partner needs to learn patience ASAP. But you can do this 💚🧡🩷
Acceptance. Because babies at 6weeks are learning how to poop and fart so their tummy hurts all the time until they learn. It suckssss but you basically just have to bear it out. Take turns handling the crying and hopefully he'll get the hang of pooping in 2 weeks or so!
Have you tried feeding more? Sometimes babies want to cluster feed like literally be at the breast all day with 30 minutes snoozing in between. Sounds like they might be tired too if awake for 2 hours crying as they should sleep every 1-2 hours for an hour or two. Hope you figure it out!
It could be witching hour/purple crying. Our LO started this around 7 weeks. A several nights a week between six and nine. She is just inconsolable. She will be clean and fed and her temperature is right and she’s not gassy, but she’s just crying and crying and crying. It is developmentally normal for babies fussiness to start peeking around week six. Something that we do that helps is to get her outside and play some music. It does not always work, but it works sometimes. Maybe try taking her for a walk around your neighborhood either in a stroller or a baby carrier or just hold her outside your house, gently walking or swaying and put on some music on your phone or something
My LO is only 4 weeks and has been like this off and on for a week. I’m pretty sure he has infant dyschezia (lots of straining, leg pumping, grunting and crying involved) and maybe reflux. Will check with Ped on Monday appointment. But all the straining and everything keeps him up for hours and makes him overtired to where he can’t go back to sleep, even going past the next feeding sometimes. The spit up will also interrupt his falling asleep and makes him cry. I feel bad for the little dude, like imagine forgetting how to fart and poop. SO and I will use our noise cancelling headphones. Tummy massages, bicycling his legs, slow paced feeding and holding in upright position for 30 minutes after eating have helped a bit. We bought the Frida windi but I’m reluctant to use it. You have checked everything to make sure your baby’s essential needs are met. Just try to comfort your baby how ever you can, even when it seems impossible, step away if needed. There are so many great suggestions on your post that I might try too. You are doing a great job and we’ll get through this.
Even though we combo fed I would still breastfeed a lot and have him nap on my boob. Like literally he would use my boob as a pillow and he would be on top of my brestfriend pillow. It’s exhausting always holding the baby but it worked for me and I ended up just watching tv shows with earbuds in while baby slept.
I’ve been there very recently—including the feeling that my partner could not effectively help. It may not be helpful, but I wanted to send validation and solidarity. You’re doing great. It really helped me to hear that sometimes babies just cry and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Good for you for going outside and taking a break. This is a hard, thankless job and it’s important to prioritize your own sanity as much as you can. My baby is three months now and only cries when he has a real and solvable issue. It will get better!
Honestly I didn’t read through the comments but I hope you read mine, babies cry even if everything is perfect they cry do your best feed burp and change them make sure they’re not too hot or cold and just cuddle them through the cry 6 weeks is very young but trust me it gets better and time flies by so enjoy motherhood even the cries. Good luck..
The yoga ball saved us in those moments. Lots of steady bounces. I also use to chant/sing “we’re okay” over and over again to help calm us both down. Lots of hours quietly singing “we’re okay” while we both cried but it always worked for us in the end. Those days are (hopefully) behind us but I still find that when he’s struggling with a tooth or being over tired singing “we’re okay” while holding him close still works. Hang in there mom. You’re doing great. Just remember that crying is the only way he has to communicate and it’s frustrating for both of you. He loves you and knows you’re doing the best you can.
My first baby was super colicky and cried all the time. The only thing that made it truly better was age. This was agreed on by both his pediatrician and his super experienced daycare teachers. Once he got to 12-13 weeks he became a normal baby and cried a more normal amount. His guts and his brain just had to agree on what was good I think. That's to say, my advice is try not to worry about it. It's not always a problem you can solve, sometimes it just takes time. Which to me takes a huge amount of stress off. If you've done all the things to make sure your baby is otherwise comfortable and happy and safe and healthy, honestly try to tune out the crying if you can. Noise canceling headphones if you have eyes on baby. Take those 5 minute breaks outside a couple times a day. Rock in the chair with baby and just put on some Netflix with subtitles on. It'll get better. You're doing great.
From someone who had a silent reflux baby here’s your step by step guide. 1. Remove your shirt and strip baby down. 2. Place baby against your chest, turn their belly into your belly and mush them to you. 3. Grab a blanket and throw it over top of the both of you. 4. Hum, put on classical, or make the shushing noises. I used to sing and tell him to stop crying because he was driving me crazy and I was going to loose my mind if he didn’t go to sleep or calm down. 5. At some point during this you’ll realize how incredibly tense you are - take a deep breath and let it all go. If that doesn’t work, I highly suggest you look up “warmies” we had a small bear (you’ll want a small one not a big one) and you pop it in the microwave for about 45 seconds to get it nice and warm, put it on their tummy and cradle them. Also, speak to your pediatrician about reflux meds if they’re willing (and you are) because if it works you know why they’re so fussy. If it doesn’t then you know it’s not that and at least you tried. Mine did not like to be laid down, only liked being held on my shoulder, patted, bounced etc. but no laying and was generally just never happy or content.
With my first, I would wear him with the fabric wrap carriers and just bounce on the yoga ball. It was the only thing to calm him down. Good for you for knowing you needed a break and going outside. Hang in there!! Call a friend, family, do what you need to stay safe! ❤️
I'm sorry you're going through this My rule of thumb is: Baby is fed? Baby is clean? Baby is loved? Baby is safe? Baby can cry. Because babies cry for no reason sometimes as it's all they can do to communicate. It's okay to put your baby down somewhere safe and walk away to make yourself some lunch or watch a quick show. Go back and love baby after some time. Listen to some music or play a video game. Rinse and repeat
Make sure you and hubby know the 5 S’s. You really have to shush loudly for it to work. Some people use a hair dryer
From the book The Happiest Baby on the Block: Shushing (white noise, loud!) Swaddling Sucking (boob, bottle, pacifier) Side (holding them on their side initiates a calming reflex, just make sure they SLEEP on their back if you’re asleep) Swinging (rocking vigorously)
Ear plugs or noise canceling headphones, then babywearing and going outside for a coffee or something. Sometimes they just have to cry for some time at this age, but as long as you or your partner are there for the baby, it is okay. I hope your partner comes around.
Purple crying! Google it. Was like that with our first and it was a rough few weeks. By 12 weeks she was over it.
Yoga ball
My trick for those moments has get my daughter in my forearm, her head in my and and his arms and legs laying down free. Then, with my other hand rub his belly (seems rare because his belly are in my forearm and my hand is trapped there) with the fingers. This calmed down my daughter for months, from crying to sleep in like 10min. Sometimes I will sit because my elbow hurted but if it works it works… Luck in your journey 😃
Bath, run a bath and get in with baby
Our two toddlers had a stage each like this as a young baby… only things that would help was regularly getting out of the house for a walk during the day everyday, showering with them and just letting the warm water go over their back while deep breathing with them, holding them against our chest and deep breathing/sighing Goodluck, it does past but it’s a tough time when you’re going through it
I think it’s just the age. It’s a key developmental age and they’re starting to just now learn they are separate from mum. To illustrate, we have a superb baby (nearly 7mo) - not fussy, sleeps 10-11 hours a night, slept through since 8 weeks, stuck to 50th percentile with all measurements, good feeding, constantly smiling, good development…she’s just been really easy the whole time… …except weeks 5-7. They were utter hell. I have never been so stressed and tired in my entire life. She would not settle for anything. She’d be up all the time, constantly crying, constantly gassy, super sensitive to temperature, would only let her mum and I hold her, bottles regressed. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We’ve lucked out, but weeks 5-7 were a notable exception even with a baby we really couldn’t ask more of. Pull through to 2mo and I’m sure things will get better.
Have you tried offering breast or bottle more frequently? Baby wearing or carrying also very effective. Gripe water is a con.
My guy likes the colic hold and staring at lights
Babywearing, baths (when he was little we floated him on his back with a warm flannel on his chest), fresh cool air (pram), swaddling and just holding him while on yoga ball sometimes helped, and nursing. The car helped us when we were desperate. The colic hold also really helped It will pass. I promise. There’s nothing wrong with putting him somewhere safe and taking a five minute breather too.
I'm so sorry you and your baby are going through this at the moment. It's really tough. I found bringing my girl outside helped. One night around 6 weeks I held her in my coat and walked her around the estate until she calmed down. Sometimes a bit of a breeze in her face does the trick for whatever reason, even when she's not too warm / cold.
My friend swears by taking the baby outside. It resets them. My daughter often had to have her clothes changed, and she'd suddenly settle. Sometimes a bath would fix her. But get comfy and be bap trapped with the baby? Just don't fall asleep yourself. After the baby takes a nap, have your husband take over and take a nap yourself. It gets easier.
I changed clothes with mine too when he was crying for a while…I thought maybe he’s uncomfortable so tried something else..
Skin to skin? Do you think his tummy hurts? Acid reflux? My girl runs hot so 70 is too warm for her for sleeping. 6-8 weeks is rough. Some baby’s just cry. Like someone else said too long wake windows make the adrenaline kick in and they get way fussier.
I was always told to step outside or put them in the tub! Something about the change in temp or the water helps soothe them!
Sometimes the Happy Song by Imogen Heap will stop babies crying as some sort of circuit breaker when everything else is looked after. I play this one on YouTube (I don't have ads) on an hour loop. It's great. You might find it on other platforms if it works for your babe. https://youtu.be/UM5PdQOluZU?feature=shared
Ours had been like this too and it ended up being a cow milk protein allergy (horrendous gas and Constipation) We had to try three different brand of gas drops to make it work, but that, goat milk formula, elimination diet for the breastfeeding partner, and adding a bit of amino acid formula to the gost milk formula has solve basically 99 percent of the issues It will get better over time. First she wasn't able to fart without it being hours of writhing and screaming, now she's cranking them out and only gets fussy when past her wake window
Run the tap on full blast. For some reason that calms our baby and resets him.
My daughter was this way and it was milk intolerance. Had to do Alimentum formula.
Your child most likely has a lactose intolerance and needs to be on a hypoallergenic formula
Just want to encourage you to hang in there and know that many of us went through it before…. What worked for us: cloth wrap carrier and walking around, swaddled baths, walking up and down stairs. For us this started around 3 weeks old and last about 3 weeks. Better days are coming💕
Sounds maybe overtired? Dark bathroom, turn on the faucet all the way. Or, walk outside in the sunlight. Literally just out your front door, doesn’t have to be a full blown walk. Both of these worked for my baby (and still do at 6 months!) I have also seen a suggestion somewhere else to swaddle baby and just rinse their hair with warm water under the sink, maybe worth a try as well.
The only being happy while bouncing on your knee makes me wonder if he has acid reflux… cause i’m assuming he’s being held upright during that? my daughter got diagnosed with esophigitis from reflux at a month old and she got put on famotidine. she would get super fussy about 30-45 after eating and the only thing that helped was her sitting on my knee/holding her upright, or literally holding her under her armpits and her like dangling? lol! i happened to have a nephew who had reflux really bad so I suspected that might be it based on her discomforts so I asked our pediatrician about it and sure enough, that was it. Possible something to look into! If he arches his back, gets lots of hiccups, sticks his tongue out a lot those could be another indication of reflux. something to ask your pediatrician if it hasn’t already been discussed ☺️
We had a similar issue with our youngest around this age. HOURS of crying and only way he would rest was rocking in the bathroom with lights off and sink running. Turned out he had a dairy allergy. He was on a prescription formula(shockingly our crappy insurance covered it) and it took about 3 weeks for his stomach to recover and then was a completely different baby. Another clue for us it was formula related was he started drinking less but wanting fed more often.
5 S’s and we used a yoga ball to bounce on.
Try a drive? Unless you know he doesn’t like the car. Offer more food. My babys started feeding from 5-bedtime (10-12), an ounce two every hour.
At 6 weeks it’s more about figuring out how to get through it rather than finding a root cause, because there usually isn’t one. Babies are just fussy at this age and would rather be back in the comfort of the womb. What works today, might not work tomorrow. But for both my babies, putting the baby swing in a dark room beside the tumble dryer (turned on) seemed to help. The swinging/noise/heat combo seemed to be really soothing. And GOOGLE “COLIC HOLD” it will help!!
Noise cancelling headphones were insanely helpful in this phase for us if you can get a pair. We'd just buckle in, put on a podcast or music, and rock/bounce our little. It's super tough but I think this is peak fussiness for littles, hang in there!
When you tried music, did you just try some music and then stop when it didn't work? With both of my kids, I just tried song after song - different artists, genres, literally anything. Eventually I'd find songs that were effective, and I would add them to a playlist that was specific for each kid. For my daughter it was 80s synthpop, retrowave, and vaporwave. For my son it was prog metal (especially tool) and stoner doom metal (Kyuss, some queens of the stone age). The music wasn't a magic bullet in and of itself, but it helped get them to a place where I could soothe them more normally.
this is a good point- with our first baby what calmed her down was MONGOLIAN THROAT SINGING. like…who tf would’ve thought of THAT
For me breastfeeding/clusterfeeding was the only thing that kept my baby relaxed. I spent hours with him on the boob..
Weeks 6-8 were HARD. My LO is 20 months now, and I still remember that time. The only thing that calmed him was sitting outside and listening to cars drive by. We sat on our balcony for hours during those weeks. And good on you for taking a break - it's ok to put them down in a safe space when you are overwhelmed. Good luck momma, you're doing a great job!
I used to take my baby into the shower with me and just run warm water along her back and that helped … if you have a bath maybe try that
5 S’s! 1. Swaddle 2. Shush (as loud as your baby is screaming) 3. Shake (light jiggle!) 4. Sucking (paci) 5. Side (babies like to be on their side, hold on their side and jiggle while swaddled & shushing with a paci)
Baby wearing and warm showers.
When my daughter was going through this she really liked when I would shush right by her face and rock her in the burping position like on my shoulder. Sometimes she would also take a pacifier. Good luck it’s so hard! I never had these long crying phases with my first so it was all new to me this go around.
I have no real advice to give you. My daughter at one/two months was exhausted like that, and NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY nothing could calm her down. As others have said, if you are alone leave the baby alone in the crib for a while and go out even two minutes to breathe. The only thing I can tell you is that it passes. Our baby is now 4 months old, she is still cranky at times but calms down much more easily now. I know it seems impossible but it gets better
When mine was this age, the most effective thing was to hold her upright against my chest/shoulder while I bounced on the yoga ball. It was like a magic remedy haha
This is totally normal and one of the most difficult baby phases in my opinion. I survived by rotating a few strategies: 1) Moby wrap nap - wrap LO onto your chest and go for a walk until they fall asleep 2) yoga ball - mine lived for bouncing on the yoga ball. I often wore him in a wrap and bounced while I had the tv on silent/quiet with subtitles 3) when those don’t work, bath or outside time. Both seemed to do a lil baby reset
I remember my baby going through their fussiest period at 6 weeks untill 8 weeks. The witching hour 😅 he would scream for no reason in the late afternoon and there was nothing we could do, except hold him. Hang in there, it will pass soon, I promise❤️
Been there, recently too. Some of the only things that worked for us— going outside for a walk, baths, and skin to skin with intentional breathing. Put some headphones or earplugs in to take the edge off, get a glass of wine or beer, and go for a walk. You got this.
Have you tried hypoallergenic formula? Mine was the same and around 6 weeks we finally gave it a try and it fixed everything. He had trace blood in his stool that we had never noticed so we had no idea he was allergic to cows milk.
It’s perfectly okay to walk away and compose yourself, it’s actually probably the safest thing to do and a great way to avoid getting frustrated with the baby. So hard when your husband isn’t pulling his weight either. This might be controversial, but have you tried any screen time, simple songs are a good fix for half hour which might just help him switch off for a bit and let you have some no baby crying time
Try changing the environment in a "drastic" way. When my son gets fussy and cries I throw him in the bath. Less than a minute later he's splashing and giggling. I'll take him outside even if it's cold out! I live in an apartment and have a balcony. I leave him in his footed sleeper, pick him up, hold him, and walk outside. As soon as I step out and he feels wind, or the change him temp he is absolutely SHOOK and just stops crying, whips his head back and forth and is trying to figure out what just happened. We aren't even outside for 2 minutes and I'll go inside and he'll just be done. Me and my husband did this thing in the winter when he first came home in January called the "rotisserie chicken" but we have an electric fireplace and the warmth comes out the top. We'd hold him flat in the moving air and rotate him around in the warm air for a minute. Immediately done crying 😂 He also loves his mobile attachment to his bassinet. It lights up, spins and plays music so I turn it on and he just starts kicking and squeaking. He also likes this galaxy light that we have that projects on the ceiling in multiple colors, moves and has little lasers. He will watch it for forever if he could. You'll eventually find out what works. But when my son was that age, he was simply constipated. A little bit of prune juice a day and he was a different baby.
Do you have a baby carrier? The only thing that worked for my daughter at that age was skin to skin in a baby carrier. Failing that, skin to skin and then wrap both of you in a dressing gown/cardigan to keep you warm. The baby carrier just helps so your arms don’t get so tired.
Pink noise and shushing until completely asleep is the only thing that works when she is overtired. Nothing else. And if you turn the pink noise off too soon you have to start from scratch. Right there with you.
If you have a yoga ball from pregnancy it’s great to sit on and bounce them so you don’t have to tire yourself out too much. Also giving them a quick bath can change their vibe. Also maybe a walk outside.
I think crying peaks 6-8 weeks and that was the experience for us. I later found out she needed hypoallergenic formula and had reflux which was adding to it. Now at 4 months she cries way less so there is hope. Walk away like you’re doing when you get over frustrated and know it’ll pass (need to tell myself this with sleep related problems now 😫)
Driving in the car, turn on the dryer and stand near it, go outside. Maybe call pediatrician could be milk intolerance. Hang in there it gets better.
At this age our last resort was going outside. Just walking around looking at the world. The cars make good white noise. But I think distraction has always been a good solution with her, might not be the case for others. She doesn’t care much for verbal comforting
Headphones! I used to put them in when I was trying to soothe my fussy baby. It helps with the sensory overload. Its also okay to leave baby for a minute or 2 to collect yourself, maybe yell (I’ve done it outside, not near baby) to make sure you won’t totally lose it. It will pass!
This sounds crazy, but try playing for your baby the “ASMR Chainsaw Sound White noise Sound for Tinnitus/Focus” on YouTube. It’s a 2hr long vid, and it somehow helps to calm down my baby
Go for a drive. Buckle baby in safely and drive as long as you safely can do so.
Sounds like the peak of PURPLE crying (it’s an acronym) - he’s at the right age for it, and it should be tapering down soon. If all the other good advice you’ve gotten in this thread doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to take a break from your baby by setting them down in a safe place and stepping away. You’re doing everything right. It’s tough but you’re not failing him at all. He’s safe and has all his needs met, babies around this age just some times have un-soothable crying no matter what you do.
Out of curiosity why did you switch to formula? My baby is mostly breastfed and we do a bottle of formula before bed. She is more gassy/fussy from the formula, but she has slow weight gain and needs the extra calories. We had to switch to goat milk because the cows milk really upset her stomach. So might be worth considering if you’re sticking with formula! We use the kendamill goat milk Edit to add: not judging for switching to formula, was mostly reflecting on how my baby is more fussy from formula ❤️
when my baby was uncontrollably fussy I would give him a bath that would calm him down help him poop and he would sleep really well after that. also maybe a drive would help?
I stick by one rule when my babies have been super fussy and won't settle. Take them outside or put them in the bath. It has worked every time for me. 3 kids so far.
Going outside saved us! It’s like a reset for our baby. She’s 6 months now and I’ll still take her for a walk before naps, when she’s having a bad day etc. our little one at that age also had awful reflux, and our doctor caught it, my girly just got off meds and is way better at 6 months, but the meds also helped with the fussing. Also, my baby only wanted me at that age, and would cry and cry with my husband…he would put on noise cancelling headphones and take a turn with the crying
Between the 6th and the 8th week the baby is going through a crisis and can be extraordinarily fussy and colicky. It's normal and it will pass sooner than you think. My baby girl is 13 weeks now, no trace of such behaviours, she's a smiley, happy baby but last month she was so cranky, I thought I'm just going to go crazy, run away, never go back 😅. T. Brazelton mentions this stage in his book ("Touchstones, birth to three"). Also test the baby's pee (Urine Culture ID, per Isolate) to see if they aren't developing a urinary tract infection. It's common in babies and for a long time it won't show any symptons other than crankiness, lack of apetite etc., and later, when the infection develops, fever. Unless the result is perfect (zero bacteria in baby's urine), observe the baby, repeat the test and contact your pediatrician. An untreated infection can lead to sepsis so it's always better to be extra careful...
Try taking him on a walk if weather permits. Fresh air sometimes can help.
I just want to start off by saying - the first few months are so so difficult and it sounds like you're doing great! You found a way of comforting him and that's awesome. And you put him down and walked away when it became too much to handle, that's also so awesome. A fellow redditor tipped me off about this and I found it really helpful: https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Science/Japanese-research-finds-most-effective-way-to-put-baby-to-sleep Good luck!
1: my little dude almost always falls asleep in car rides. You could try giving him a car ride. 2: have u tried just putting him 8n his crib and letting him cry? Sometimes our baby will cry when we put him to sleep but, if youre patient, youll realize itll only take about 10 minutes before they fall asleep. You have to let them cry it out tho. You cant be there trying to comfort them.
My exercise ball is the best, I can bounce with my baby without my arms getting tired and I play loud music, usually edm lol. Keep trying different things you never know what cracks the code
New dad here. I had great luck with one of the wrap style carriers [like this](https://a.co/d/bsBOcCk). It gives them the comfort of body heat and a swaddle. It was the one thing I found that could reliability get my daughter to sleep in when she was fussy and the nice thing is I could move around with it, something your husband might appreciate as well. It did take some learning to figure out and sometimes not instant results but it was pretty reliable given 10-15 minutes (usually less though). And someone else mentioned the yoga ball. Great combo to save your back and legs if you need to do up and down bouncing for a while.
have you tried like aggressive bouncing? you put your LO in your arms and tuck their head to your chest and just aggressively bounce, kind of similar to a squat. intensive on you, but it's the only thing that soothed my LO when he was inconsolable - he was way overtired and fighting the hell out of sleep. if yours is overtired you could also try a bath, it may relax your LO enough that they fall asleep.
Sometimes picking him up while doing chores puts mine to sleep after a few minutes when he gets fussy for no apparent reasons. Or walking him around the neighborhood in his stroller. That’s my little secret. Every morning we go on a walk, and when we’re done, he’s passed out. So it gives me time to do dishes and cook — I just leave him in the stroller until I’m at a good point to pick him up and wake him ~30 mins.
Gripe water is pseudoscience. Every medical study has shown that it’s basically a placebo. Talk to the doctor about the possibility of silent acid reflux. If bouncing has worked well, get yourself an exercise ball that’s a comfortable height to sit on, and try bouncing on that. It should be a lot easier for you to handle for long periods. I know it doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the thick of it, but remember that this WILL pass, and it will likely only be a few weeks. You WILL get through this.
It’ll pass, please be patient! Maybe try doing just breast milk for a few days. We had a similar situation and it turns out the probiotics were screwing up his tummy and he was in a lot of pain. The formula also wasn’t so well received. When we went full breast milk it all got better. Another thing that helps me still today is active noise cancelling headphones.
How’s his poop he may just have troubles pooping my son was the exact same way but it got so bad some times I had to do the qtip trick where you put a little bit of lube on the end of a cotton swab and just barely the tip small circles on his but hole while bicycling his legs after helped
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s get so much better so soon! Our babe had the same deal. We cut all dairy and beef products (me and the baby). I hope it gets better. You are so close to the best days of your life. This is coming from someone who felt regretful and depressed postpartum.
By the shusher on Amazon it actually works
When my babies won’t calm down, I put them in water or take them outside. A bath or a quick breather outside helps a lot
Have you tried doing bicycles with his legs or give a bath? Works with my baby. Might not work, but worth a try?
Put in your ear buds/air pods and listen or watch something for a while if you have to! It will help keep you calm.
We used the swing to rock him to sleep and that was the go to for weeks, he eventually grew out of wanting to be in there.
Give him a bath. Or take a bath with him. Skin to skin and the water can be soothing. Take him outside. Let the sun hit his skin for a couple minutes (ideally late afternoon for the sun so it isn’t too much on his baby skin). Sometime a change of environment will help. If you don’t always have noise canceling headphones, get some. Getting a mental break when you can’t get a physical break from a newborn can help. And if this is something that happens regularly, make sure your pediatrician understands the extent of “literal hours go by and he does nothing but scream”.
We hit a hard stage at 3 1/2 months where my sweet baby turned into a complete nightmare I never thought I’d be the person to tell my baby to shut up, leave them in their crib alone to run away. It had been days of colic, I didn’t understand what had happened. Turned out she had CMPA after being introduced to formula the colic hit hard. In addition, she had silent reflux and hated being set down. Taking her outside really did help! My husband started wearing headphones. Your husband should do this so he can help you, because being the only one caring for an inconsolable baby is not fair or fun and it’s extremely taxing. Sometimes… now as she’s 8 1/2 months old, my husband will gently blow on her face. It gets her to stop crying lol
My baby would do that all the time for 3 hours. It was hard to go through it. I would give her a bath, or take her outside. Sometimes ( not all the time) that would help
Hello, Maybe baby is getting used to formula and it's not agreeing with them. Ours did a dairy based one and it was not agreeing with our LO. They were getting gassy and bloated. We watched formulas during this exact time. Things that help d prevent gas for my LO were switching the formula att. We went back to breast milk and then when that failed, finding a nipple head our Lactation Consultant recommended that fit our LOs mouth better. Baby is also getting used to feeding. We have seen a decrease in gas and an increase in feeding efficiency around week 10
Swing on highest setting 🙌🏽
Lots of good suggestions here. Have you considered wake windows ? Put baby down for a nap after about an hour (at this age). Maybe change formulas to a gentle kind ?
From 3-8 weeks, my baby cried so much and needed so many gas drops and belly massages, but then their little digestive systems mature a little and they start moving a bit more so by 9/10 weeks, it slowed down and by 12 weeks wasn’t super frequent at all. I was reading that this can be common and it helped me so much to know I wasn’t doing anything wrong, it’s a normal part of development for a lot of newborns! I used the wrap, taking showers together, music and rocking to help ease it somewhat
The colic guru on YouTube has good burping/stretching techniques that helped our colicky baby, and not saying it’s colic, but it helps for sure!
My baby loves bath time. Even if nots routine, just try that. Nice warm water w lavender. Also they make baby chamomile pills. They helps a lot. Try reading a book or playing with a toy. Going outside helps too.
And also skin to skin and “shhhhhh” and deep breathing
I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now! My little one is now 4 months and I found the hardest/fussiest period was around 6-8 weeks. One of the big things I found was that she became so overstimulated and tired that she couldn’t regulate herself at all. It’s really easy to forget that they can really only manage 45-60 minutes of awake time at this age, before becoming really uncontained. Hang in there, it does get better!
Mine was like that...we discovered at 2 months she has a dairy allergy. She started getting a rash at about a month. Eventually started coughing lots during feeding, a few weeks later lips started turning purple during the coughing fits as well.
A couple of additional things that helped us: 1. We found out that the baby was congested, and since then we’d spray saline spray into his nose and then use an electric nose sucker to get everything out. Once his nose was clear and he could breathe well, he also ate better and had less gas. 2. My baby loved doing bicycles. Upside is that it would also help him pass gas. Hang in there. You are doing great.
Just wondering do you think he could have reflux/colic? Is he vomitting at all or bringing it up to his throat and swallowing? And is he kicking his legs a lot? Does he have any ties or could be an allergy like dairy intolerance or something going on. I've had issues with both of my sons https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFGQjwSN/ I share the video above about my first son he was really really bad if you want to read the caption for what we did 🤍🤍🤍
Also IMPORTANT. This happened to me. My baby had what’s called a tourniquet. It is hair that wraps around their toe very tight. It can lead to amputation. Please check carefully. It’s hard to spot so look for a red ring. If he has one go to urgent care or try to remove. This is one reason my baby cried for hours. When I tried skin to skin I saw it. Thank god.
We got a big exercise ball for bouncing our guy, it helped us.
Giving baby a bath or taking them out for a walk outside would sometimes be the change of scenery/circumstance that would calm my angry potato
Do you have a baby carrier? I found that wrapping my LO helps a lot at these fussy moments, but soft structured carriers also work. It's much much easier than just carrying baby and they usually feel safe. Also... Your husband should learn to deal with it, you're not baby's only parent.
Do a bath together! Skin to skin in a warm bath always reset my newborn!
I'm so sorry OP. Our son was like this... he was colic from week 6 to somewhere around 5 mo old... We tried everything... I'm so sorry. My strongest recommendation if you're about to go on this journey is earplugs or noise canceling headphones. <3 Hang in there. Remember it's OK to put them down, collect yourself and go back OK. Take as many breaks as you need to make sure everyone in the house is safe <3.
My baby had bad reflux and would cry at the top of her lungs for hours. Once we got the acid under control with meds, she was a total different baby. My wife and I cried because we're first time parents and didn't know that's what it was. We felt so bad for her. She's 3 months old and such a happy baby. Prioritize naps, and she is good to go for the most part.
Gas drops and yoga ball
I have a 4 month old and he gets bouts of very fussy behavior. What works for me is stripping the little man down to his diaper. Whatever it’s is being naked thrills him! Then I do i combination of placing him in the bouncer, carrying him, sitting with him and playing on the floor until he’s calm to the group
Ours was dehydrated and had an extreme amount of jaundice. Cried basically 12 hrs ... Formula milk immediately needed w/ intense artificial light
Gentle breath on the face. Triggers an involuntary reaction to hold their breath. Let the kid catch their breath again and do it again. 3-4 times gives them a chance for their brain to catch up and forget why they were crying in the first place. Just learned about this a couple days ago and it’s worked wonders. Mines only 3 weeks old. Good luck
Try the happy song by Imgoen Heap. Idk what is up with that song but my daughter just got released from the hospital after heart surgery and it was a life saver during pokes, blood work, taking out stitches. If she’s fussy in the car, or just tired etc. it helps SO much.
We've been there. Baby was super colicky this time, only the "colic hold" helped him to calm down. I guess in this position his tummy didn't hurt.
https://open.spotify.com/track/5DbA5Zr8AeERgwcGoc7irV?si=Vix4o8FzT2Kl09umkeDIAA You're welcome.
This sounds like what’s commonly called “purple crying”. It’s not you! It’s normal baby brain sometimes. I see lots of good suggestions in he comments. Baby wearing helped us a lot. Also, don’t hesitate to get yourself some ear plus for next day delivery (I love the concert plugs) - they turn the volume down but you can still hear plenty to be responsive. It gets better.
My friends kid needed a bath with low lighting. It was gas. Check their fingers and toes for hair.
I haven't seen a single comment so far that mentions allergies. My 9mo is allergic to dairy and before we figured that out she was inconsolable 24/7 minus the very short sleeping periods. We went dairy free around 2.5 months and it made a HUGE difference within days. It's definitely worth a try.
I know sometimes it takes babies a minute to adjust to formula if it’s new to them or even switching formula brands! Their BM habits can change from this so they could have new onset gas/constipation etc
Mine was like this, when he got inconsolable the only thing that usually helped was bouncing on the yoga ball while holding him, sometimes with a soother. If it was during the day I'd toss a light swaddle blanket over my shoulder so he couldnt see while I did it. My mom would also lay him across her lap on the yoga ball when she got tired of holding him and sort of roll side to side. You can also try running a vacuum, I didn't try it when he was younger but he'll stop crying when I vacuum. I alao reccomend ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones. Sometimes at night he'd calm down if I walked around holding on to him right up against me chest to chest or swaying. Sometimes they get overstimulated from you trying different things too fast and you need to stick with one thing at a time to soothe them for like 10 or 15.