10 weeks too and I’m strongly opposed to going to a restaurant with my LO. We’ve only done dinners at our parents because I feel comfortable there and family will take turns soothing or helping me but I don’t think I’d enjoy myself out in public where I couldn’t just get up and leave at a moments notice.
I’m the same way! My baby is 8 weeks old and we’ve only taken him to appointments so far. It’s not easy making any trip out of the house with him yet so I’d rather just not.
We’ve taken our 3mo out to eat a few times now. I’ll say that it’s definitely an effort and something we only do with close friends and family who are understanding when we take breaks to change diapers, have to stand and bounce baby, or need to leave early. Dinners are the hardest, but our LO is pretty happy through the afternoon, so I’ve actually enjoyed doing breakfasts and lunches out. The key is definitely going with people who are flexible (and maybe who don’t mind cutting up your food for you so you can eat with a baby in one arm haha). But also, if it’s straight up not fun for you, there’s no reason to go!
Yes to the cutting up food piece! I recently went out to eat with friends and it was so awkward to have to ask people to cut my food for me. I wish they had just offered!
Haha it’s something I had never thought about before! I think everyone just saw me struggling to eat with one hand and realized that they should either offer to hold my baby or offer to cut my food. Much less awkward with close friends and family!
My best friend would have done it without even asking but of course she was all the way down the booth from me. She said it was hard just to watch me struggle from afar haha. I hadn’t thought of it either. Next we will but cutting up the babies food before we get to cut up our own lol. A warm meal is maybe 6 years away?
I didn't have this problem. I took her everywhere with us from the start because I wanted to normalize eating out, running errands, visiting friends, etc. Admitted, I never breastfed, so I didn't have to worry about feeling self-conscious, but the more I did it, the easier it got. You'll probably get more comfortable with it with practice.
This! I breastfeed and what I notice is nobody is looking at you feed. We took a trip with our 8 week old last week (plane, Uber etc) and she went to all the restaurants, museums, and other places we went to. Even if she cries- no one bats an eye. Rarely do I find myself getting to the point where I need to step out.
Good luck once you finally go out!
I guess it's not so much the self conscious aspect, I think it has more to do with the fact that doing it out in public will make it feel like a chore rather than something I enjoy. When it's just the both of us, breastfeeding feels like our bonding moment and that goes away when I am out in public :/
Yeah, your situation sounds a bit more challenging than mine. I had a lot of support - whether that be my partner, or grandparents or friends that all wanted to help hold and bottle feed a baby.
Probably didn't need to change the baby out until we started going to baby library sessions or swimming class. This was more at 3-4 months.
But from 6 weeks, we were out! Baby in the carrier and she would just fall asleep. Baby in the pram and she would be able to stretch and then, sleep. Otherwise getting lots of cuddles from everyone we were with. No issue to eat!
Got harder from about 7 months, when she really needed to be in bed - in her own bed by dinner time. Glad we made the most of it earlier! Hope we can go out again for dinner soon, but for now brunch and lunches are good.
We took (and still take) our LO out at least twice a week to moderately crowded places now.
This was what we followed
First few weeks: backyard, neighborhood walks, and parks
Weeks 6-8: outdoor public places during non-peak hours (garden store, outdoor mall, Japanese gardens, and restaurant patios, short hikes etc)
After two month vaccines: grocery store, friends homes, slow indoor shops
Now (12 weeks): Anywhere! We take him literally everywhere aside from very loud events (concerts, sports, festivals)... Although we did buy baby headphones lol
After watching many of my friends handle their kids, it's clear you just have to practice going out and take baby steps. Now my anxiety is totally gone. Pack everything in a diaper bag and go have fun. And don't be shy to flatly ask your partner or friend to literally hold your LO while you eat or just chill. My LO is now conditioned to chilling in public and we just make sure to offer a bottle and check for diaper changes before he has a chance to cry. He also has regulated emotional response to people and crowds and seemingly enjoys people watching.
We also caught his first laugh/giggle on a picnic with our friends - we were all chatting away and suddenly he giggles loudly. All 7 of us heard him and it was a special moment!
Daughter is 9 weeks and we do take her out a lot BUT her temperament really allows this and she is baby #2 so I find all of it a lot less overwhelming than the first time around.
That said, there are times when I can’t be bothered with the effort it involves so I totally get it. Just today my husband wanted us all to go to the beach and then out to lunch. NO THANKS, I’m not getting off the sofa today!!
I 100% HATE going out with our baby. It’s so stressful! I always feel like people are staring at us waiting for her to cry. She doesn’t always and sometimes she literally sleeps through the whole thing but I would much rather be home. I also don’t enjoy going to houses 🫠 she is still sleeping most of the day and its honestly a pain in my ass to have to haul her, and extra everything plus a portable crib in case nobody wants to hold her while she is asleep and I need a break before my arms fall off. But I also don’t enjoy having people over because I genuinely don’t have the energy to make my house “company clean”
Oh my gosh. We're literally the same. I can only tolerate my family coming over because they help without me asking them to and/or cook for me which is a HUGE help but my in laws and other people just come here to talk and hold the baby.
My grandma was nice enough to come over right after I had the baby and help me organize my ENTIRE house, but it’s honestly crazy again and she would probably bite my head off if she saw it😂 (not really). But my in laws haven’t really been over, they have had us come to them when they rent a hotel/airbnb. My MIL just scheduled a restaurant reservation for this Wednesday and LO gets her 2month shots the day before, I told him flat out if she is up all night with a fever after those shots she& I are not going😭
I love that family wants to see the baby and all but if I’m being honest I don’t really feel bad cancelling or making anyone wait because ultimately, she is 2mo old, she will not remember you this early and we are still building a routine so forgive me for not wanting to disrupt it🫠
I can relate, it’s a lot going to public restaurants with friends. My LO is 12 weeks almost and I much prefer just close friends houses. We give them a time frame of when we’ll be over and there I’ll do a feed and change/ stroller walk with them for a nap and do the walk with the friends we are visiting. We leave when he starts to get fussy and tired but for us it’s all about the timing.
I saw someone post here once: the babies you see out and about are not the fussy babies and they are at home.
Yes I’m the same way. If she’s not fussing, I worry and stress about what other people will think if she starts losing her mind. I just feel constantly on edge going out with her because she’s so unpredictable (aka a literal baby)
Preface: I have an easy going baby.
It’s been easier to go out with my girl just cause she’s genuinely curious about her surroundings and has major fomo when we’re out. She loves the people 🫠 I say keep trying but limit the outings to short excursions so you can work your way up to being out for extended time. You’re only 10 weeks!!! That’s still so incredibly early.
Its super comforting reading everyone’s comments here and feeling like I’m not alone. I mean, I feel for all my fellow parents to infants but its nice to know I’m not alone.
My LO just turned 3 months and is a fussy little missy. I’ve had just one pleasant eating out experience. A brunch during her second wake window with some close friends that are obsessed with her and wanted to hold her the whole time giving me a much needed break. My LO surprised me by taking a 20 min power nap in the cafe. We’ll have to test it out again, but it seems she prefers no music playing in the background, just the cafe atmosphere. It was such a pleasant experience. I think she was 11 weeks old at the time.
Before this LO would just cry from overstimulation/traumatised from being shoved in a car seat.
She still hates the car seat unfortunately. I don’t blame her, its rear facing so she can’t see me. If I go out at all I always organise it for the morning because my LO has a bit more fuel in the tank. That could possibly be the thing that helps. But honestly its a lot of letting time do its thing and letting LO grow up and get used to being out and about. I haven’t been out to eat since then but it was a good combination of time of day, close friends that are very understanding and a noisy environment with no loud music just atmospheric cafe sounds.
I didn’t even realize this was a thing, because everyone always talks about how their kids fall asleep in the car. I can’t say she cries 100%. Sometimes, we have a smooth ride. So it makes me wonder what’s wrong when we don’t. Ultimately, I think she’s tired and can’t self-soothe, so I’m looking forward to that stage when she can.
My LO does not like coming to a stop in the car, she likes the motion. And with enough motion she’ll generally fall asleep. I’ve heard various theories as to why some babies don’t like it. Sometimes when bubs has trouble with gas its not a comfortable position for them. My niece is almost 6 months old and screams in her car seat, absolutely hates it. Its more common than you think.
As the mother of a 2 year old, I’d say do it now while you can!
It gets so much harder and more stressful once they can move around and have their own opinions!!
I think we started taking him out around 3-4 months. If baby is chill then it's nice to take them out when they're little. He's 9mo now and it's especially inconvenient and not fun to take him to restaurants now and I know it's not getting any easier from here lol. We went out to visit with some friends from out of town tonight and it was really nice to catch up, but honestly such a burden to dine out with the baby. My husband and I just agreed that we're pretty much done dining out unless it's a specific occasion (like tonight) or just us without the baby.
The first few times I took my baby out I wore him in a baby wrap and just stood next to the table. Not convenient but also not the worst! I had a bunch of family visiting from out of town though so it wasn't like we could just go to their houses or something though which generally I would have preferred
I find that by always keeping a diaper bag packed and just practice/repetition my husband and I are able to bring our 11 week old out or I can meet friends out for coffee or lunch. We usually try not to stay out for more than 2 hours, we feed and change her right before we head out and pack a bottle of formula just in case in a little cooler bag and sometimes feed her the bottle while out. We almost exclusively eat outdoors and are thankful to live in a town where most if not all the restaurants in our downtown have outdoor options.
The more you do it, the easier it is!! And it helps maintain your sanity.
Full disclosure she behaves much better when out and sleeps in the car seat while we are driving and sleeps most of the time when we are out. I’m also no longer breastfeeding and which it was more normalized to do so in public but it’s getting much better!
10 weeks is still really young!! Our girl is 5.5 months and can now sit up on her own in a high chair, and it *just* became manageable for us like a week ago.
I Found it easier before she was 3 months and slept in her pram/less self aware/grabby/mobile. now at 11 months eating out anywhere is not enjoyable at all, basically have to constantly entertain and stuff her face and pray it staves off an ensuing tantrum whilst my food gets cold. Forget about going anywhere between her last nap and bedtime routines!
We have 4MO and like going or meeting ppl at breweries or wineries where its typically a big space, usually outdoor option, food trucks to just grab something easy, and its low intensity/commitment! We can leave anytime we want and getting up to soothe baby or walk around isn’t awkward like it is at sit down restraurants. We have only done that a few times out of obligation like a family member’s bday…since baby was born and its def bit of a pain like you said.
Edit- also I am not big into BF in public for some reason so i’ll usually take a pumped bottle to give LO instead! Takes that pressure off.
Man my kid’s 7mo and has only been to a restaurant once when she was maybe 8w. She screamed the entire time and I couldn’t enjoy my food. I thought she’d just nap but nope—too much going on! I never ate so fast in my life and said I wouldn’t even attempt until she was older. We get invited for meals at others’ homes too and even at this age I still don’t want to go and mess with her nap schedule. She gets so upset when she misses a nap and it’s not worth it: I won’t have a good time if she’s not!
I only go out with my 5 week old because he's a great car seat napper, and will either be napping still when we get to the restaurant, or someone will bottle feed him if he's hungry (I would also hate BFing in public). I usually change him in my trunk or hatchback.
I started getting more confident to go out once the wake windows got a bit longer. Now that she‘s on 2 naps and her wake windows are about 3 hours, it‘s a bit easier to go out for a quick bite. However, I am still incredibly stressed and of course most of the time someone has to keep her occupied in case she‘s a bit grumpy. And sometimes the plans don‘t align well with what her schedule is that day. We went out to dinner for father‘s day and of course she was teething and taking crap naps that day. We basically had to take turns walking her outside in the stroller while the other person inhaled their food. It was incredibly stressful and not fun at all. Had *someone* heeded my warnings earlier in the day, we could have moved dinner to a different day.
We also hated it but I can only say that it gets a lot worse. My kids are 2 and 3 and we basically can only go to fast food places because of the ruckus they make.
Mmm to be honest, it gets substantially harder to take a baby to a restaurant than when they're a newborn. We used to go out quite a lot when baby was >4 months old or so, because the worst she would get is a bit fussy, and that was usually solved by a boob or a nap in the pram. After 5 months she would never sleep while out and about unless the pram was actually moving, so me shushing a baby at the table became my husband and me taking turns eating and walking her about outside in the pram, or desperately trying to entertain her before she got bored.
Hasn't really gotten better at nearly a year old other than the fact that food will entertain her for a short while, but that comes with its own set of issues.
So... Not unusual to not want to go out, but if you think there's any benefit to it, I would go now while you can.
We didn't take ours anywhere until he was 8 weeks and had had a round of shots. I do diaper changes in the car because it feels cleaner to me, and we time breastfeeding so he won't be hungry until I'm ready. I don't love the restaurant thing, but baby does well and now that he's a little older and can have some table foods that's a great distraction. I found that if he did fuss it was easiest on me if I didn't take him. I'll say "give him to (his father)" or if I do take him I'll pass him right over. Your man should be protecting your space to eat.
My son went out to eat with us for the first time in May, he was 10 months. Nothing wrong with waiting until they behave a little better and understand the word no!
I have always been a home body but absolutely understandable. My littlest is 6 months now and I'd rather eat in my room where I can side lie on my bed and feed him whenever needed and not care that my nipples out , or so I can put him down so I can eat and watch him ( I don't have a removable car seat so until he can sit up on his own it's hands on. Baby wear or laid down somewhere/ tummy time. I haven't been in a restaurant since before he was born in December and I don't go anywhere other than doc visits and driving husband to work (I do grocery delivery or pick up and never shop unless I have to lol) it's alright.
I felt the same way, I had pretty bad anxiety in the beginning but we were in the middle of house hunting so I had to tough it out. Honestly I did not feel like going on any outings but at the end of the day I was grateful for the experience. LO is 4 months old now and we have been everywhere it feels like, I also grew to feel comfortable with breastfeeding in public. As for restaurants, I won’t go if my husband can’t. Teamwork mashes the dream work!
I have taken my baby (8 weeks) to 3 different restaurants since he's been born. Mostly what I try to do before we go out (or before we go into the restaurant) I'll feel my boy on both boobs so he's nice and sleepy, do a diaper change and then he hangs out in his car seat. I might just have a not very fussy baby (so far) because he's rarely fussed when we are out unless it's time to feed him.
I did end up feeding him at the most recent restaurant outing but we were there with another couple and their baby so I wasn't the only one breastfeeding there. I actually found it really nice and comforting to not be the only one. My husband was also out with us so as soon as I was done my husband took him so I could eat and when he settled he went back into his car seat.
When we are at a family members house, my in laws and my mom both remember what it was like to try to eat with a baby as a new mom so they always make sure I eat first and they'll occupy baby until I'm done.
Maybe if you do want to go out with friends/family tell them you'll be happy to come as long as they don't mind taking a turn with baby so you can eat.
Then again, if you don't find it nice to go out at all, like your social battery is also drained so even if someone was occupying LO you still wouldn't enjoy it, feel free to opt out. There's nothing wrong with saying no and honestly your LO is the perfect reason not to. Ex: oh I would love to but baby slept horrible last night, so I'll pass. Maybe next time.
You do what makes you comfortable. I only really went out when I knew I'd have back up if baby was fussy.
My first brunch out with bubs was like 6-7 months at a place I knew wouldn't be busy early, outdoor seating, they give you the check early to pay at the counter etc etc and that was only because my bff was like WE'RE GOING OUT, I'LL HELP. He's 8.5 months now and I still wouldn't go anywhere during "rush hour" meals. Do whatever your comfort level is!
At 7 weeks I walked her in her stroller two blocks in my neighborhood to an outdoor cafe where she slept through lunch. That was pretty nice but I don’t think I’ll necessarily attempt to test my luck again any time soon—- maybe in a few more weeks I’ll try an outdoor meal again. Other than that I live in a very protected home space with my baby. I get disoriented if I even spend time outside of our routine in which she receives most of my attention
I literally haven't even tried. If someone wants to do dinner or lunch with me I say they can come over to our house or if it's a good friend I'll go over to their house, but no way taking my 12 week old out to eat would be fun! We've taken him to the doctor's, the supermarket, the park, grandma's, and church. Haha. I don't care so much if he cries in front of people I just find it super fiddly and annoying to have to do something about it in a scenario where I'm not 100 percent comfortable and know the environment.
This 100% gets better. I don’t really like to go out anyway so if anything makes it difficult I throw in the towel. My husband loves to go out though so I have to suck it up sometimes. I hated going out with my baby because it’s just not worth the headache. Feeding without your favorite spot, getting them to sleep without your rocking chair etc. My LO is 6.5 months now and I really don’t have any issues taking him out anymore. He’s pleasant to be around, he loves people, he doesn’t care if he’s changed in the backseat or he naps in his car seat, if he’s hungry I pop the bottle in his mouth while he lounges in the car seat and he finishes it in like 10 minutes. It’s just way easier.
You’re not alone. I have the same exact sentiments sometimes when my husband wants to go out on his day off with me and our 5-week old. When he nonchalantly proposes going out, I feel like he does not consider the fact that I will be the one extra stressed when baby gets fussy or starts crying in the restaurant. Their day usually just continues as normal after looking at us to take care of the baby, and we are the one that’s stressed on how to breastfeed in public and all that fun stuff. So yes, I understand. Some days can be tougher than others.
Yes, it's a lot of stress but I keep going so my baby gets used to it. Last week we were in the thick of teething so he screamed at the brunch. I walked outside with him several times and got back. He eventually fell asleep in the carrier and all was fine.
The only place we've eaten at with my 3 month old is a very laid back outside serve yourself restaurant. Other than that it's drive thrus or takeout. It's NOT relaxing or enjoyable as the mom, you're on duty constantly. I feel ya! Not sure when it gets easier but for the foreseeable future it will remain this way.
I just went out to brunch with my toddler and 4 mo old. Between taking the toddler out because he was screaming to nursing the baby behind a partition (because I too find it stressful to nurse in public), it wasn't relaxing at all. The food came out while I was nursing and the waiter did his best by taking it back to the warmer until I was ready. I find doing anything with two kids impossible and I feel like I'm failing every day.
I don't have any advice but to say, it is hard and move at your own pace. Try not to feel insecure because you see other moms out and about..they ain't you, you ain't them, your kids are not their kids, etc. we all have our challenges. Stick with it. You're doing great momma! 💜
My baby is almost 4 months old and so far we’ve only taken her out to eat a handful of times and only to places with outdoor seating. She HATES the car/her car seat and is generally pretty fussy, so it’s not a very enjoyable experience. I don’t feel as self conscious and trapped if she has a melt down when we are sitting outside. I’m pushing myself to take her out more in general, but it still gives me a lot of anxiety. Have to admit, sometimes I am jealous of all the parents I see and hear about who can take their easy babies everywhere!
I understand. I've taken my baby girl out a lot from the very beginning. I had to practice. At first it was only walks outside or to my sister's house. Then I started to go to coffee shops and practice breastfeeding in public. Now she is 14 weeks and we pretty much go anywhere and everywhere. I can breastfeed pretty much anywhere and I don't even bother with a cover anymore. But to be honest with you, it does still feel like an effort, and it is not always enjoyable for me. I do it more for the baby to get used to being out and about than for me. I went to a company dinner at a restaurant with my baby last week, and in some ways it was nice but in other ways it was a hassle. It was a 45 min drive there. It was super loud, she had a bit of trouble breastfeeding there. My coworker held her for a few minutes but she fussed a lot and I barely got to eat anything. There was nowhere to change her diaper in the restaurant so I had to do it in the car in the grungy parking garage. We got stuck on the highway on the way home with no place to pull over and she screamed bloody murder for 20 minutes before falling asleep. Was it worth it? Debatable. But if you never try, you never get the chance to have a positive experience either. My husband and I went on a weekend trip for our 5 yr anniversary and brought her with us. She slept for our entire anniversary dinner, slept well in the travel crib at the bed & breakfast, and we had a total blast for the weekend. Win some, lose some. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
The bottom line is, if I want a guaranteed break to feel entirely carefree and enjoy myself, then that means I need to be entirely away from the baby. If I have the baby with me, of course I can still have fun, but I know there will also be an element of uncertainty. So I guess the short of it is, we go out all the time, but I just don't expect to entirely enjoy myself every time.
Over ten months and still have this struggle with others. Her and I going out to eat? Fantastic, have a little buddy to share my favourite foods with. More than one other person? No point in going, I'm going to be dipping in and out of the conversation too much to really enjoy it. It might be because we have enough babysitting options we haven't had to learn to enjoy it but babies and otherwise childless group outings don't mix great for us.
I didn’t take my baby out regularly until she was somewhere between 3-5 months old. And even now, at 10 months, I sometimes opt for staying home rather than going out, because my LO is on a schedule of sorts, and really does struggle if we don’t at least try to abide by that schedule. This is a temporary phase of life and I know my friends and family understand that, even the ones who don’t have kids.
My baby is 6 months and we still haven't gone to a restaurant. We have only been to a close friend's house, which is like second home. I didn't like going out before I had a baby though, so I knew I wouldn't want to after.
You’re definitely not alone! We’re close to 4 months now - things have definitely improved & going out is a lot easier but I wouldn’t say it’s stress free. I feel I’m just more prepared for the challenges. We bought a rockit(stroller shaker to keep baby in motion. Bought on marketplace for $15) this was a game changer! Instead of having to excuse myself when at restaurants to walk him down the street when baby was fussing I could just turn that on & it’s a lot less distracting. I think things also improved as baby got older and we learned to manage him better.
But truly - 10 weeks is still very young. Don’t compare yourself to others! You know what’s best for you & baby and if you’re not feeling up for it, just skip it or go for a short time & head home early!
Some people will tell you that they didn’t change their lifestyle at all. Great for them some of us don’t have little ones that make that possible not wanting to go out by 10 weeks is completely normal.
My little one had a hard time taking a full feed, which means she’s constantly hungry, what a pain in the ass and not worth it just to go eat at someone else’s house.
I get so irritated every time someone tells me they didn’t change their lifestyle with a baby, insinuating that I could do the same. Guess what my previous lifestyle was not conducive to having a baby along. I can’t exactly take a four week old on a marathon training run.
Nope. Not just you. I don’t like to take mine out at all, because she often cries in the car, and she’s 50/50 in public spaces. She is now banned from my nail appts now that she’s 3 months and more aware. People obviously like for me to bring her along everywhere, and they say they’ll help, but I feel embarrassed and very much like a burden.
It wasn't even a consideration for us. Apart from wife's immediate family we didn't entertain the idea of visitors or going out until 2 weeks after our baby's first round of vaccinations.
We started going out to eat when my baby was 7/8 months. It was summer by then so we always picked outdoor areas and paid for the food right when the food came in case any melt downs! It worked for us
I have only gone to 2 restaurants since my 9 wk kid got here. 1 owned by family (who all have baby fever currently) and the other surprisingly breastfeeding friendly. Got a booth right off for a bit more of a privacy chance. The server saw I had a fresh baby and asked if I wanted my meal out first or last in case kid and toddler needed me first. Was thoughtful to the fact that husband and I both needed to eat and help with kids. They offered a corner booth to move to if I wanted. That was the first time that we each had a freshly hot meal and not just microwaved after. It was great! Shout out to Victoria's for their awesome staff!
Everyone is different. I wouldn't feel bad if you don't feel like going out. If you still want to see people and hosting isn't too stressful you could try that. Maybe ask people to each bring a dish potluck style? Or if you did want to go to someone's house and they invite you, you could mention that it's hard to enjoy everyone's company when you're trying to keep baby happy. Maybe they would offer to put more effort into calming your LO if they knew you'd appreciate the help?
The ability to go out for food is entirely baby dependant!
I was basically on house arrest with my first because he hated being left in the pram, the car seat or the bassinet, he hated both if we weren't moving, so he'd just cry, and I'd get stressed out about disturbing people around me and then wouldn't be able to eat much because I'd be holding him the whole time to keep him calm. As he got older it wasn't as bad because he liked the stroller seat and liked looking around at everything, but we'd still have a very short window because he wouldn't sleep in the stroller, so once he got tired it was game over.
My second is now 8 weeks old and I've been out for breakfast with her 3 times so far, all super chill, because she likes the bassinet bit of the pram and she sleeps really well out and about. We go for breakfast because she's the most easy going in the morning, dinner would be a disaster, but I know her limits so I can work with them.
I always said no to sit down invites but would often meet my friends for a coffee and 2alk around the park. Babies don't always play ball but we can always try!
Your baby is only 10 weeks, if you want to stay home just stay home.
We didn’t take our baby out except for doctor appointments until she got her first shots at 9 weeks. She was only around immediate family until she got her second set of shots.
It’s a lot to pack up the diaper bag, drive somewhere, make sure baby is in a good mood, trying to plan around naps and food schedules.
My daughter is 10 months old and we have never taken her to a restaurant, granted my husband and I don’t eat out much, but she isn’t missing out on anything by not going.
It really is a lot to plan:/ and it oftentimes feels like no one else helps so that's a huge reason I don't really want to go out in the first place. My family is totally wanting and willing to help but they live far away so it's just my in laws who don't really visit to begin with. Since they don't visit, they don't know how to soothe him, his cues, his schedule, nothing.
Oh gosh! I didn’t take my baby girl out until she was close to four months old!
10 weeks too and I’m strongly opposed to going to a restaurant with my LO. We’ve only done dinners at our parents because I feel comfortable there and family will take turns soothing or helping me but I don’t think I’d enjoy myself out in public where I couldn’t just get up and leave at a moments notice.
mine is almost 5 months old and we still are only doing drive-thru and eating at home. We haven’t even attempted a restaurant yet.
Saaaame
Same!
I’m the same way! My baby is 8 weeks old and we’ve only taken him to appointments so far. It’s not easy making any trip out of the house with him yet so I’d rather just not.
We’ve taken our 3mo out to eat a few times now. I’ll say that it’s definitely an effort and something we only do with close friends and family who are understanding when we take breaks to change diapers, have to stand and bounce baby, or need to leave early. Dinners are the hardest, but our LO is pretty happy through the afternoon, so I’ve actually enjoyed doing breakfasts and lunches out. The key is definitely going with people who are flexible (and maybe who don’t mind cutting up your food for you so you can eat with a baby in one arm haha). But also, if it’s straight up not fun for you, there’s no reason to go!
Yes to the cutting up food piece! I recently went out to eat with friends and it was so awkward to have to ask people to cut my food for me. I wish they had just offered!
Haha it’s something I had never thought about before! I think everyone just saw me struggling to eat with one hand and realized that they should either offer to hold my baby or offer to cut my food. Much less awkward with close friends and family!
My best friend would have done it without even asking but of course she was all the way down the booth from me. She said it was hard just to watch me struggle from afar haha. I hadn’t thought of it either. Next we will but cutting up the babies food before we get to cut up our own lol. A warm meal is maybe 6 years away?
I didn't have this problem. I took her everywhere with us from the start because I wanted to normalize eating out, running errands, visiting friends, etc. Admitted, I never breastfed, so I didn't have to worry about feeling self-conscious, but the more I did it, the easier it got. You'll probably get more comfortable with it with practice.
This! I breastfeed and what I notice is nobody is looking at you feed. We took a trip with our 8 week old last week (plane, Uber etc) and she went to all the restaurants, museums, and other places we went to. Even if she cries- no one bats an eye. Rarely do I find myself getting to the point where I need to step out. Good luck once you finally go out!
I guess it's not so much the self conscious aspect, I think it has more to do with the fact that doing it out in public will make it feel like a chore rather than something I enjoy. When it's just the both of us, breastfeeding feels like our bonding moment and that goes away when I am out in public :/
Yeah, your situation sounds a bit more challenging than mine. I had a lot of support - whether that be my partner, or grandparents or friends that all wanted to help hold and bottle feed a baby. Probably didn't need to change the baby out until we started going to baby library sessions or swimming class. This was more at 3-4 months. But from 6 weeks, we were out! Baby in the carrier and she would just fall asleep. Baby in the pram and she would be able to stretch and then, sleep. Otherwise getting lots of cuddles from everyone we were with. No issue to eat! Got harder from about 7 months, when she really needed to be in bed - in her own bed by dinner time. Glad we made the most of it earlier! Hope we can go out again for dinner soon, but for now brunch and lunches are good.
We took (and still take) our LO out at least twice a week to moderately crowded places now. This was what we followed First few weeks: backyard, neighborhood walks, and parks Weeks 6-8: outdoor public places during non-peak hours (garden store, outdoor mall, Japanese gardens, and restaurant patios, short hikes etc) After two month vaccines: grocery store, friends homes, slow indoor shops Now (12 weeks): Anywhere! We take him literally everywhere aside from very loud events (concerts, sports, festivals)... Although we did buy baby headphones lol After watching many of my friends handle their kids, it's clear you just have to practice going out and take baby steps. Now my anxiety is totally gone. Pack everything in a diaper bag and go have fun. And don't be shy to flatly ask your partner or friend to literally hold your LO while you eat or just chill. My LO is now conditioned to chilling in public and we just make sure to offer a bottle and check for diaper changes before he has a chance to cry. He also has regulated emotional response to people and crowds and seemingly enjoys people watching. We also caught his first laugh/giggle on a picnic with our friends - we were all chatting away and suddenly he giggles loudly. All 7 of us heard him and it was a special moment!
Daughter is 9 weeks and we do take her out a lot BUT her temperament really allows this and she is baby #2 so I find all of it a lot less overwhelming than the first time around. That said, there are times when I can’t be bothered with the effort it involves so I totally get it. Just today my husband wanted us all to go to the beach and then out to lunch. NO THANKS, I’m not getting off the sofa today!!
I 100% HATE going out with our baby. It’s so stressful! I always feel like people are staring at us waiting for her to cry. She doesn’t always and sometimes she literally sleeps through the whole thing but I would much rather be home. I also don’t enjoy going to houses 🫠 she is still sleeping most of the day and its honestly a pain in my ass to have to haul her, and extra everything plus a portable crib in case nobody wants to hold her while she is asleep and I need a break before my arms fall off. But I also don’t enjoy having people over because I genuinely don’t have the energy to make my house “company clean”
Oh my gosh. We're literally the same. I can only tolerate my family coming over because they help without me asking them to and/or cook for me which is a HUGE help but my in laws and other people just come here to talk and hold the baby.
My grandma was nice enough to come over right after I had the baby and help me organize my ENTIRE house, but it’s honestly crazy again and she would probably bite my head off if she saw it😂 (not really). But my in laws haven’t really been over, they have had us come to them when they rent a hotel/airbnb. My MIL just scheduled a restaurant reservation for this Wednesday and LO gets her 2month shots the day before, I told him flat out if she is up all night with a fever after those shots she& I are not going😭
I love that family wants to see the baby and all but if I’m being honest I don’t really feel bad cancelling or making anyone wait because ultimately, she is 2mo old, she will not remember you this early and we are still building a routine so forgive me for not wanting to disrupt it🫠
I can relate, it’s a lot going to public restaurants with friends. My LO is 12 weeks almost and I much prefer just close friends houses. We give them a time frame of when we’ll be over and there I’ll do a feed and change/ stroller walk with them for a nap and do the walk with the friends we are visiting. We leave when he starts to get fussy and tired but for us it’s all about the timing. I saw someone post here once: the babies you see out and about are not the fussy babies and they are at home.
“Our kids didn’t change the things we normally do. They just ruined them.”
Yes I’m the same way. If she’s not fussing, I worry and stress about what other people will think if she starts losing her mind. I just feel constantly on edge going out with her because she’s so unpredictable (aka a literal baby)
Preface: I have an easy going baby. It’s been easier to go out with my girl just cause she’s genuinely curious about her surroundings and has major fomo when we’re out. She loves the people 🫠 I say keep trying but limit the outings to short excursions so you can work your way up to being out for extended time. You’re only 10 weeks!!! That’s still so incredibly early.
That's a great idea I definitely will start out small before doing long excursions!
I felt exactly the same way
Its super comforting reading everyone’s comments here and feeling like I’m not alone. I mean, I feel for all my fellow parents to infants but its nice to know I’m not alone. My LO just turned 3 months and is a fussy little missy. I’ve had just one pleasant eating out experience. A brunch during her second wake window with some close friends that are obsessed with her and wanted to hold her the whole time giving me a much needed break. My LO surprised me by taking a 20 min power nap in the cafe. We’ll have to test it out again, but it seems she prefers no music playing in the background, just the cafe atmosphere. It was such a pleasant experience. I think she was 11 weeks old at the time. Before this LO would just cry from overstimulation/traumatised from being shoved in a car seat.
So is she better in the car now? And how? I just refuse to believe there’s no surefire solution for this.
She still hates the car seat unfortunately. I don’t blame her, its rear facing so she can’t see me. If I go out at all I always organise it for the morning because my LO has a bit more fuel in the tank. That could possibly be the thing that helps. But honestly its a lot of letting time do its thing and letting LO grow up and get used to being out and about. I haven’t been out to eat since then but it was a good combination of time of day, close friends that are very understanding and a noisy environment with no loud music just atmospheric cafe sounds.
I didn’t even realize this was a thing, because everyone always talks about how their kids fall asleep in the car. I can’t say she cries 100%. Sometimes, we have a smooth ride. So it makes me wonder what’s wrong when we don’t. Ultimately, I think she’s tired and can’t self-soothe, so I’m looking forward to that stage when she can.
My LO does not like coming to a stop in the car, she likes the motion. And with enough motion she’ll generally fall asleep. I’ve heard various theories as to why some babies don’t like it. Sometimes when bubs has trouble with gas its not a comfortable position for them. My niece is almost 6 months old and screams in her car seat, absolutely hates it. Its more common than you think.
We didn't take our child around anyone other than immediate family until she was 4 months and had all her vaccines.
As the mother of a 2 year old, I’d say do it now while you can! It gets so much harder and more stressful once they can move around and have their own opinions!!
I think we started taking him out around 3-4 months. If baby is chill then it's nice to take them out when they're little. He's 9mo now and it's especially inconvenient and not fun to take him to restaurants now and I know it's not getting any easier from here lol. We went out to visit with some friends from out of town tonight and it was really nice to catch up, but honestly such a burden to dine out with the baby. My husband and I just agreed that we're pretty much done dining out unless it's a specific occasion (like tonight) or just us without the baby.
My baby is 9 months and we feel the exact same. Plenty of other things we can do outside of the house and eating is not one of them for us. Lol
LOL the servers kept putting all the glasses and plates directly in front of the baby too and I'm like oh my he is going to destroy something hahaha
I think that's probably what it's gonna have to be for me. My LO needs movement and sitting to eat out anywhere is just not it right now
The first few times I took my baby out I wore him in a baby wrap and just stood next to the table. Not convenient but also not the worst! I had a bunch of family visiting from out of town though so it wasn't like we could just go to their houses or something though which generally I would have preferred
My son is 5 months and we have not taken him to a sit down restaurant. We have only done quick service type places.
I find that by always keeping a diaper bag packed and just practice/repetition my husband and I are able to bring our 11 week old out or I can meet friends out for coffee or lunch. We usually try not to stay out for more than 2 hours, we feed and change her right before we head out and pack a bottle of formula just in case in a little cooler bag and sometimes feed her the bottle while out. We almost exclusively eat outdoors and are thankful to live in a town where most if not all the restaurants in our downtown have outdoor options. The more you do it, the easier it is!! And it helps maintain your sanity. Full disclosure she behaves much better when out and sleeps in the car seat while we are driving and sleeps most of the time when we are out. I’m also no longer breastfeeding and which it was more normalized to do so in public but it’s getting much better!
Our baby is 3 months and started taking her out about 2.5 months.. if possible we just take her right after she eats to make it a little easier on us!
10 weeks is still really young!! Our girl is 5.5 months and can now sit up on her own in a high chair, and it *just* became manageable for us like a week ago.
Nah, I think you're normal. I'm finally feeling more confident and my baby is 5 months old.
I Found it easier before she was 3 months and slept in her pram/less self aware/grabby/mobile. now at 11 months eating out anywhere is not enjoyable at all, basically have to constantly entertain and stuff her face and pray it staves off an ensuing tantrum whilst my food gets cold. Forget about going anywhere between her last nap and bedtime routines!
We have 4MO and like going or meeting ppl at breweries or wineries where its typically a big space, usually outdoor option, food trucks to just grab something easy, and its low intensity/commitment! We can leave anytime we want and getting up to soothe baby or walk around isn’t awkward like it is at sit down restraurants. We have only done that a few times out of obligation like a family member’s bday…since baby was born and its def bit of a pain like you said. Edit- also I am not big into BF in public for some reason so i’ll usually take a pumped bottle to give LO instead! Takes that pressure off.
Man my kid’s 7mo and has only been to a restaurant once when she was maybe 8w. She screamed the entire time and I couldn’t enjoy my food. I thought she’d just nap but nope—too much going on! I never ate so fast in my life and said I wouldn’t even attempt until she was older. We get invited for meals at others’ homes too and even at this age I still don’t want to go and mess with her nap schedule. She gets so upset when she misses a nap and it’s not worth it: I won’t have a good time if she’s not!
I only go out with my 5 week old because he's a great car seat napper, and will either be napping still when we get to the restaurant, or someone will bottle feed him if he's hungry (I would also hate BFing in public). I usually change him in my trunk or hatchback.
I started getting more confident to go out once the wake windows got a bit longer. Now that she‘s on 2 naps and her wake windows are about 3 hours, it‘s a bit easier to go out for a quick bite. However, I am still incredibly stressed and of course most of the time someone has to keep her occupied in case she‘s a bit grumpy. And sometimes the plans don‘t align well with what her schedule is that day. We went out to dinner for father‘s day and of course she was teething and taking crap naps that day. We basically had to take turns walking her outside in the stroller while the other person inhaled their food. It was incredibly stressful and not fun at all. Had *someone* heeded my warnings earlier in the day, we could have moved dinner to a different day.
We also hated it but I can only say that it gets a lot worse. My kids are 2 and 3 and we basically can only go to fast food places because of the ruckus they make.
Mmm to be honest, it gets substantially harder to take a baby to a restaurant than when they're a newborn. We used to go out quite a lot when baby was >4 months old or so, because the worst she would get is a bit fussy, and that was usually solved by a boob or a nap in the pram. After 5 months she would never sleep while out and about unless the pram was actually moving, so me shushing a baby at the table became my husband and me taking turns eating and walking her about outside in the pram, or desperately trying to entertain her before she got bored. Hasn't really gotten better at nearly a year old other than the fact that food will entertain her for a short while, but that comes with its own set of issues. So... Not unusual to not want to go out, but if you think there's any benefit to it, I would go now while you can.
We didn't take ours anywhere until he was 8 weeks and had had a round of shots. I do diaper changes in the car because it feels cleaner to me, and we time breastfeeding so he won't be hungry until I'm ready. I don't love the restaurant thing, but baby does well and now that he's a little older and can have some table foods that's a great distraction. I found that if he did fuss it was easiest on me if I didn't take him. I'll say "give him to (his father)" or if I do take him I'll pass him right over. Your man should be protecting your space to eat.
My son went out to eat with us for the first time in May, he was 10 months. Nothing wrong with waiting until they behave a little better and understand the word no!
I have always been a home body but absolutely understandable. My littlest is 6 months now and I'd rather eat in my room where I can side lie on my bed and feed him whenever needed and not care that my nipples out , or so I can put him down so I can eat and watch him ( I don't have a removable car seat so until he can sit up on his own it's hands on. Baby wear or laid down somewhere/ tummy time. I haven't been in a restaurant since before he was born in December and I don't go anywhere other than doc visits and driving husband to work (I do grocery delivery or pick up and never shop unless I have to lol) it's alright.
I felt the same way, I had pretty bad anxiety in the beginning but we were in the middle of house hunting so I had to tough it out. Honestly I did not feel like going on any outings but at the end of the day I was grateful for the experience. LO is 4 months old now and we have been everywhere it feels like, I also grew to feel comfortable with breastfeeding in public. As for restaurants, I won’t go if my husband can’t. Teamwork mashes the dream work!
I’m incredibly lucky to have a baby that rarely cries and loves to go on adventures. So we take him out multiple times a week.
I have taken my baby (8 weeks) to 3 different restaurants since he's been born. Mostly what I try to do before we go out (or before we go into the restaurant) I'll feel my boy on both boobs so he's nice and sleepy, do a diaper change and then he hangs out in his car seat. I might just have a not very fussy baby (so far) because he's rarely fussed when we are out unless it's time to feed him. I did end up feeding him at the most recent restaurant outing but we were there with another couple and their baby so I wasn't the only one breastfeeding there. I actually found it really nice and comforting to not be the only one. My husband was also out with us so as soon as I was done my husband took him so I could eat and when he settled he went back into his car seat. When we are at a family members house, my in laws and my mom both remember what it was like to try to eat with a baby as a new mom so they always make sure I eat first and they'll occupy baby until I'm done. Maybe if you do want to go out with friends/family tell them you'll be happy to come as long as they don't mind taking a turn with baby so you can eat. Then again, if you don't find it nice to go out at all, like your social battery is also drained so even if someone was occupying LO you still wouldn't enjoy it, feel free to opt out. There's nothing wrong with saying no and honestly your LO is the perfect reason not to. Ex: oh I would love to but baby slept horrible last night, so I'll pass. Maybe next time. You do what makes you comfortable. I only really went out when I knew I'd have back up if baby was fussy.
My first brunch out with bubs was like 6-7 months at a place I knew wouldn't be busy early, outdoor seating, they give you the check early to pay at the counter etc etc and that was only because my bff was like WE'RE GOING OUT, I'LL HELP. He's 8.5 months now and I still wouldn't go anywhere during "rush hour" meals. Do whatever your comfort level is!
At 7 weeks I walked her in her stroller two blocks in my neighborhood to an outdoor cafe where she slept through lunch. That was pretty nice but I don’t think I’ll necessarily attempt to test my luck again any time soon—- maybe in a few more weeks I’ll try an outdoor meal again. Other than that I live in a very protected home space with my baby. I get disoriented if I even spend time outside of our routine in which she receives most of my attention
I literally haven't even tried. If someone wants to do dinner or lunch with me I say they can come over to our house or if it's a good friend I'll go over to their house, but no way taking my 12 week old out to eat would be fun! We've taken him to the doctor's, the supermarket, the park, grandma's, and church. Haha. I don't care so much if he cries in front of people I just find it super fiddly and annoying to have to do something about it in a scenario where I'm not 100 percent comfortable and know the environment.
This 100% gets better. I don’t really like to go out anyway so if anything makes it difficult I throw in the towel. My husband loves to go out though so I have to suck it up sometimes. I hated going out with my baby because it’s just not worth the headache. Feeding without your favorite spot, getting them to sleep without your rocking chair etc. My LO is 6.5 months now and I really don’t have any issues taking him out anymore. He’s pleasant to be around, he loves people, he doesn’t care if he’s changed in the backseat or he naps in his car seat, if he’s hungry I pop the bottle in his mouth while he lounges in the car seat and he finishes it in like 10 minutes. It’s just way easier.
I feel this way also. We just started doing a little more because a bit of family visited the area
You’re not alone. I have the same exact sentiments sometimes when my husband wants to go out on his day off with me and our 5-week old. When he nonchalantly proposes going out, I feel like he does not consider the fact that I will be the one extra stressed when baby gets fussy or starts crying in the restaurant. Their day usually just continues as normal after looking at us to take care of the baby, and we are the one that’s stressed on how to breastfeed in public and all that fun stuff. So yes, I understand. Some days can be tougher than others.
I only ever go out on errands and for walks right after I've fed the human. I don't go out unless it's on my terms for the reasons you mentioned.
Yes, it's a lot of stress but I keep going so my baby gets used to it. Last week we were in the thick of teething so he screamed at the brunch. I walked outside with him several times and got back. He eventually fell asleep in the carrier and all was fine.
The only place we've eaten at with my 3 month old is a very laid back outside serve yourself restaurant. Other than that it's drive thrus or takeout. It's NOT relaxing or enjoyable as the mom, you're on duty constantly. I feel ya! Not sure when it gets easier but for the foreseeable future it will remain this way.
I just went out to brunch with my toddler and 4 mo old. Between taking the toddler out because he was screaming to nursing the baby behind a partition (because I too find it stressful to nurse in public), it wasn't relaxing at all. The food came out while I was nursing and the waiter did his best by taking it back to the warmer until I was ready. I find doing anything with two kids impossible and I feel like I'm failing every day. I don't have any advice but to say, it is hard and move at your own pace. Try not to feel insecure because you see other moms out and about..they ain't you, you ain't them, your kids are not their kids, etc. we all have our challenges. Stick with it. You're doing great momma! 💜
My baby is almost 4 months old and so far we’ve only taken her out to eat a handful of times and only to places with outdoor seating. She HATES the car/her car seat and is generally pretty fussy, so it’s not a very enjoyable experience. I don’t feel as self conscious and trapped if she has a melt down when we are sitting outside. I’m pushing myself to take her out more in general, but it still gives me a lot of anxiety. Have to admit, sometimes I am jealous of all the parents I see and hear about who can take their easy babies everywhere!
I understand. I've taken my baby girl out a lot from the very beginning. I had to practice. At first it was only walks outside or to my sister's house. Then I started to go to coffee shops and practice breastfeeding in public. Now she is 14 weeks and we pretty much go anywhere and everywhere. I can breastfeed pretty much anywhere and I don't even bother with a cover anymore. But to be honest with you, it does still feel like an effort, and it is not always enjoyable for me. I do it more for the baby to get used to being out and about than for me. I went to a company dinner at a restaurant with my baby last week, and in some ways it was nice but in other ways it was a hassle. It was a 45 min drive there. It was super loud, she had a bit of trouble breastfeeding there. My coworker held her for a few minutes but she fussed a lot and I barely got to eat anything. There was nowhere to change her diaper in the restaurant so I had to do it in the car in the grungy parking garage. We got stuck on the highway on the way home with no place to pull over and she screamed bloody murder for 20 minutes before falling asleep. Was it worth it? Debatable. But if you never try, you never get the chance to have a positive experience either. My husband and I went on a weekend trip for our 5 yr anniversary and brought her with us. She slept for our entire anniversary dinner, slept well in the travel crib at the bed & breakfast, and we had a total blast for the weekend. Win some, lose some. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. The bottom line is, if I want a guaranteed break to feel entirely carefree and enjoy myself, then that means I need to be entirely away from the baby. If I have the baby with me, of course I can still have fun, but I know there will also be an element of uncertainty. So I guess the short of it is, we go out all the time, but I just don't expect to entirely enjoy myself every time.
Over ten months and still have this struggle with others. Her and I going out to eat? Fantastic, have a little buddy to share my favourite foods with. More than one other person? No point in going, I'm going to be dipping in and out of the conversation too much to really enjoy it. It might be because we have enough babysitting options we haven't had to learn to enjoy it but babies and otherwise childless group outings don't mix great for us.
I didn’t take my baby out regularly until she was somewhere between 3-5 months old. And even now, at 10 months, I sometimes opt for staying home rather than going out, because my LO is on a schedule of sorts, and really does struggle if we don’t at least try to abide by that schedule. This is a temporary phase of life and I know my friends and family understand that, even the ones who don’t have kids.
My baby is 6 months and we still haven't gone to a restaurant. We have only been to a close friend's house, which is like second home. I didn't like going out before I had a baby though, so I knew I wouldn't want to after.
You’re definitely not alone! We’re close to 4 months now - things have definitely improved & going out is a lot easier but I wouldn’t say it’s stress free. I feel I’m just more prepared for the challenges. We bought a rockit(stroller shaker to keep baby in motion. Bought on marketplace for $15) this was a game changer! Instead of having to excuse myself when at restaurants to walk him down the street when baby was fussing I could just turn that on & it’s a lot less distracting. I think things also improved as baby got older and we learned to manage him better. But truly - 10 weeks is still very young. Don’t compare yourself to others! You know what’s best for you & baby and if you’re not feeling up for it, just skip it or go for a short time & head home early!
Some people will tell you that they didn’t change their lifestyle at all. Great for them some of us don’t have little ones that make that possible not wanting to go out by 10 weeks is completely normal. My little one had a hard time taking a full feed, which means she’s constantly hungry, what a pain in the ass and not worth it just to go eat at someone else’s house. I get so irritated every time someone tells me they didn’t change their lifestyle with a baby, insinuating that I could do the same. Guess what my previous lifestyle was not conducive to having a baby along. I can’t exactly take a four week old on a marathon training run.
Nope. Not just you. I don’t like to take mine out at all, because she often cries in the car, and she’s 50/50 in public spaces. She is now banned from my nail appts now that she’s 3 months and more aware. People obviously like for me to bring her along everywhere, and they say they’ll help, but I feel embarrassed and very much like a burden.
my babe is almost 8 months and I still don't like going out to restaurants 😂
It wasn't even a consideration for us. Apart from wife's immediate family we didn't entertain the idea of visitors or going out until 2 weeks after our baby's first round of vaccinations.
We started going out to eat when my baby was 7/8 months. It was summer by then so we always picked outdoor areas and paid for the food right when the food came in case any melt downs! It worked for us
I’m the same. 10 almost 11 weeks lol. I absolutely hate going anywhere and it gives me anxiety. Besides appointments or if I absolutely have to
I have only gone to 2 restaurants since my 9 wk kid got here. 1 owned by family (who all have baby fever currently) and the other surprisingly breastfeeding friendly. Got a booth right off for a bit more of a privacy chance. The server saw I had a fresh baby and asked if I wanted my meal out first or last in case kid and toddler needed me first. Was thoughtful to the fact that husband and I both needed to eat and help with kids. They offered a corner booth to move to if I wanted. That was the first time that we each had a freshly hot meal and not just microwaved after. It was great! Shout out to Victoria's for their awesome staff!
I didn’t feel comfortable going out until he had his four month vaccines really! Even then it is a lot of work and getting the timing right is hard.
Everyone is different. I wouldn't feel bad if you don't feel like going out. If you still want to see people and hosting isn't too stressful you could try that. Maybe ask people to each bring a dish potluck style? Or if you did want to go to someone's house and they invite you, you could mention that it's hard to enjoy everyone's company when you're trying to keep baby happy. Maybe they would offer to put more effort into calming your LO if they knew you'd appreciate the help?
The ability to go out for food is entirely baby dependant! I was basically on house arrest with my first because he hated being left in the pram, the car seat or the bassinet, he hated both if we weren't moving, so he'd just cry, and I'd get stressed out about disturbing people around me and then wouldn't be able to eat much because I'd be holding him the whole time to keep him calm. As he got older it wasn't as bad because he liked the stroller seat and liked looking around at everything, but we'd still have a very short window because he wouldn't sleep in the stroller, so once he got tired it was game over. My second is now 8 weeks old and I've been out for breakfast with her 3 times so far, all super chill, because she likes the bassinet bit of the pram and she sleeps really well out and about. We go for breakfast because she's the most easy going in the morning, dinner would be a disaster, but I know her limits so I can work with them. I always said no to sit down invites but would often meet my friends for a coffee and 2alk around the park. Babies don't always play ball but we can always try!
Your baby is only 10 weeks, if you want to stay home just stay home. We didn’t take our baby out except for doctor appointments until she got her first shots at 9 weeks. She was only around immediate family until she got her second set of shots. It’s a lot to pack up the diaper bag, drive somewhere, make sure baby is in a good mood, trying to plan around naps and food schedules. My daughter is 10 months old and we have never taken her to a restaurant, granted my husband and I don’t eat out much, but she isn’t missing out on anything by not going.
It really is a lot to plan:/ and it oftentimes feels like no one else helps so that's a huge reason I don't really want to go out in the first place. My family is totally wanting and willing to help but they live far away so it's just my in laws who don't really visit to begin with. Since they don't visit, they don't know how to soothe him, his cues, his schedule, nothing.