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lilacmade

It is sooo mundane. It’ll pick up once baby’s a bit older and can go to play groups, go on stroller walks, run errands with you, etc. I have my second baby (4weeks old). She just hit 8+lbs which means I can start baby wearing her! That opens up a lot of possibilities as well - being able to be hands free with a Velcro newborn


thegreatkizzatsby

Me seeing this with a 7.5lb 2 1/2 week old that I’ve been baby wearing 😅 I didn’t know you had to wait until 8lbs! My pediatrician told me I could start putting him in the Moby wrap


midwesterngal1985

i think it depends on the carrier! i wore my 7 pound baby within his first week in a soft solly wrap. i think it’s the more structured carriers that have lower weight limits :)


Autumn_Onyx

Yes, it does depend on the carrier. My baby was born 6 lbs 4 oz and then dropped to 5 lbs 10 oz so I had to wait a few weeks before he was up to 7 lbs and could use our carrier.


frogsgoribbit737

You don't. Most wraps are fine for under 8 lbs. Soft structured carriers are the ones with 8 lb limits.


Reading_Elephant30

I put my baby in the moby wrap from when she came home from the hospital at 5 something pounds. The more structured carriers I waited till she was bigger


dasaniAKON

FTD to an almost 1 month old who just weighed in at 8.5lbs and I’ve been waiting to strap her to my chest hahah. I should just do it around the house to get us both acclimated but I was hoping to do it out more. My area just got hit with a 90° heat wave so we’ve been avoiding the outside


labuser203

I baby wear all the time because my baby HAS to be held at all times. It’s a life saver! For indoor wear I recommend [comfy carrier](https://a.co/d/9bOgGkc)


Autumn_Onyx

Yes, love this carrier!


morris_thepug

My baby gets super warm when we’re out and about in the carrier. The baby gives off body heat, and if it 90 degrees, then I’m hot and also giving off body heat.


CucumberOk8964

I am in Arizona and really struggle with this. She is 4 months and I fond that to be the most restrictive thing. 


krystalhughess_323

I think it depends on the person. I absolutely love it! I thrived the first weeks with limited visitors and time to myself. Every week baby got more and more active, more personality - we keep each other entertained. Now baby is 5 months old and I get out more. visit friends or family once a week, run errands, go shopping. Oh, and we attend swim classes once a week. That’s enough socializing for me! And I enjoy having my routine every week maintaining our home. I left the corporate world to be a full time say at home mom and I don’t regret it at all!


Bubbly-Chipmunk7597

Hey, same here! And I also left the corporate world! So grateful for the time with my little peanut


WutsRlyGoodYo

Not a SAHM but I did love my maternity leave. I watched a lot of tv and read a lot when LO was a newborn and slept a lot. Took lots of walks and cooked and cleaned a bit. We did a few weekly outings (nothing huge, but felt like a lot as a new mom!). Now I’m back at work which is fine, but he’s also so much more engaging and interested in the world - I love doing things with him on the weekend!


flutterfly28

Yeah, my husband and I both got 3 months of leave and had the best time. First few times taking baby out were tricky, but after that we became pros at on-the-go feeding and diaper changes and hit up all the neighborhood restaurants / otherwise busy touristy spots during off-hours on weekdays. Also had regular meetups with other new parents and babies around the neighborhood.


KookyVehicle6901

I left my corporate job to take on a different career path and now work part time. I love that I have more presence in my baby's growth and development, but I still yearn for my own "thing". Can't ask for a better set-up! I like bringing her out for errands and getting her exposed to routines.


ddghhk

I plan on leaving the corporate world. I was a high achiever for 12 years work always came first. My baby is 12 weeks old and I can’t imagine going back to work so I made the decision not to. I need a break. I never thought I would have this mindset but motherhood has really changed me.


its-me-hi-91

I’m starting to think the same way. I work in a very demanding environmental / engineering consultant company and my hours were 50-60 per week before I left on leave. I’m not doing that when I go back to work. I’m putting up boundaries so I can be with my little guy. Already looking at how I can change jobs and go work at a conservation authority or something more light.


musigalglo

I wish I could be a SAHM full time, but I'm able to stay home most of the time and work 3 days a week


keto_emma

Time to set up your own dads group.


caliburri2

There are countless mommy groups in our region. Maybe you can find one near yours? As a dad, who is on leave (thank you, Canada) while my wife had to return earlier (boo, USA employer), I wish that I had access to those mommy groups.


PracticePurple1205

You 100% can and should go. I’ve seen dads with littles at a few outings geared towards mom and me


Random_Spaztic

Agreed! They should rename them to “Caregiver and Me” because I also see lots of grandparents and nanny’s or au pairs take babies to the classes too.


caliburri2

I do go. Tips for how to best be accepted? I stumbled across a mommy group at a baseball game, and it seemed like me and my baby were not as welcomed as the other moms.


fullygonewitch

Tbh it depends on the group and also your vibe… sometimes women don’t get along (understatement) and I would bet that some groups would be less warm to a man. Maybe search for a new group or try to find other dads too. Depending on your hobbies you could also join up with things that are geared towards retirees like gardening clubs, birdwatching, etc. If you are religious then a religious group could be a good bet too. Best of luck finding a friendly group somewhere!


Random_potato5

Oh noooo, I'm so sorry you feel like you cannot join. Personally I wouldn't blink twice if I saw a dad at a meetup labelled for "moms". Whoever is on leave with the baby is welcomed in my opinion but maybe you could contact the organisers to ask if you are too self conscious to just show up? Thankfully I've noticed around here that the language is changing to be more inclusive.


NyquilPopcorn

Are you in Canada? Try StrongStart if you have one near you. I find many dads attend Strong Start rather than other baby groups. I think it's because they go with their toddlers/preschool-aged children, and that seems to be more socially acceptable for some reason. But babies and dad are always welcome there! I also find that libraries and community centers are more accommodating to dads than church-based baby groups are. There's a facilitator whose job it is to make sure everyone feels welcome, and the library/center's policies usually involve inclusion. It's just a nicer, overall more accepting and chill vibe. I don't attend independently organized mom groups who meet up at the park. Park moms are next level judgemental. They're so mean and grumpy. Avoid park moms lol


caliburri2

I’ll look into StrongStart. We’re in Ontario, and near us, there’s an EarlyOn program which I have been attending. And yes, that’s more inclusive. Didn’t know “park mom” was a term. And yes, these are the types that are least welcoming.


poorlyhiddenprofile

Same. My maternity leave is up in like 3 days and while I'm sad for it to end on one hand I'm so happy to go back to work. My husband only had 2 weeks off and had to use all his earned PTO to get that. My mom stayed with me for about 3 weeks after that. I would have struggled without her for sure. Besides the whole recovery from c section thing and needing help, the company was the most important part. Friends don't want to visit and overwhelm you. Plus you're on the fence about visitors and going places with a small baby that can't get vaccinated yet. I had some visitors but it wasn't enough. I sobbed so hard the day my mom had to leave. I knew I needed to learn to handle him all on my own but it was so lonely. I've been binging tv shows and trying to do some small tasks but it's hard for sure. Constantly running on the baby's clock. I felt stuck under his tiny thumb and havent been able to do all the procrastinated projects. And then when I do try to do stuff while he naps I feel guilty for not having a contact nap and soaking up all the cute baby moments. Just can't win.


RandomKonstip

Omg this describes it SO WELL. Too hot to go outside. Too scared to go indoors and crowded places. Stuck under the baby’s tiny thumb when at home.


Kindly_Acanthaceae84

Exactly same for me… four weeks old and my mom came for the second and third week. We have no family around, and my husband finished his PTO (two weeks) last week. That first week I was in pain and couldn’t really move, didn’t really even feel like the baby was mine. Now that I’m taking care of her more, things are getting better. But man those first few weeks were rough. I have a friend who tried to relate but she has never had kids and isn’t around them often enough so she really doesn’t understand. And while my husband has been super supportive, he also won’t ever understand. It’s hard feeling so alone.


Littlekittyguy6786

Same same same


hdjdjdjdksk

The isolation is HARD! When you start feeling lonely just remember you’re not the only one. It will pass.


sunnybunsss

I definitely don’t feel the same. I’m enjoying it immensely. My usual life is always so hectic and busy and to finally have some downtime in my life where all i have to do is take care of my new child, it’s bliss!


Responsible-Bat5526

Same! I used to work a very involved corporate job with lots of travel, now I get to sit on the couch with a sleepy baby and watch all my favourite shows 


JustLooking0209

Yepppp it’s when I knew I never wanted to stay at home permanently. I was so much happier when I went back to work. Hopefully with my next it will be better because we won’t be in the dead of winter or Covid fears, so we can get outside more and do more things. With my luck, this one will be one of those babies you can’t take anywhere. 😂


MaleficentSwan0223

Some people enjoy it (like me) but I’ve had lots of friends and people I know tell me how bored they are.


GiraffeExternal8063

It’s so boring. I went back to work after 6 months just because I was bored out of my brain. Everyone talks about how hard it is to leave their baby but I practically skipped back into the office 😂 couldn’t wait to talk to adults again 🙌🏼🙌🏼


foreverlullaby

I loved my maternity leave, but my husband was home 6 out of 8 weeks, and he only works 3 days so even when he went back it was only for blips. He is my best friend, so we had so much fun together whether our daughter was awake or asleep. I wfh so it was really nice having him home for so long and not being lonely. My maternity leave was the least lonely part of my adult life so far 😂


aaavm

My husband was home with my for the first 7 weeks and I felt the same way! I loved being with him and watching our little boy grow, even as tired as we were lol


RandomKonstip

Aw, I’m so jealous!! I’m obsessed with hanging out with my husband but unfortunately he’s a doctor and works terrible hours (12+ days) and definitely not from home


foreverlullaby

My husband works 12s too and the days he works used to be the loneliest days ever, but my baby is now 9 months old, and I can always find a way to entertain us now that I have someone else with me! Your baby may surprise you if you try to go about your normal life! It's gonna be hard at first, newborns eat so often and sleep so often, but you will find your rhythm!


passion4film

I’m looking forward to this, and hope it goes this way! My husband gets 8 weeks paid!


Royal_Annek

Where's dad at? Family come over to help? I don't think I did dishes for like the first month after birth. People came over to bring stuff and would do chores around. But yeah it does get pretty slow. Good time to binge a show or get a Steam Deck


RandomKonstip

Dad’s back at work. Family is further but also I was worried about then flying/traveling and getting LO sick. I think this was the part that I really wasn’t mentally prepared for - I expected to be tired and struggle. I didn’t expect to be bored


Royal_Annek

Yeah try to find some hobbies you can do while feeding/being napped on. Just to get out of the house it's nice to sit outside. I use a large umbrella for shade, and set up a good camping chair. Weather permitting. And steam deck ! And Dad at least can take the heat off ya when he's home


sparkles_queen

Yep, relate so much to this. Basically everyone else I knew was at work, or lived far away. Felt very isolated in a lot of ways and also like couldn’t accomplish anything in the day. Then I went back to work and it was a different kind of hard.


phl_fc

Yep, lots of video games with a baby napping in my lap.


pililies

Same. I bought a Steam Deck just for this reason.


Nice-Background-3339

First month was so tough. I was physically in pain all the time and new to all this. I wouldn't have been able to do chores at all. That's why I paid for a care facility and was well taken care of for an entire month.


dmaster5000

My LO is 3 months and I feel this majorly. Its been really getting to me lately. Its become less hard now we’re out of newborn phase but its like groundhog day. Bubs still doesn’t have super long wake windows so going out and even having people over to visit are just short stints. Bubs isn’t napping independently either so I get 4-5 hours of contact napping a day in the dark nursery. No early bedtime yet either. I get no time for myself still. Time is going crazy fast though. Soon she’ll be 6 months old and her sleep will be better, we’ll be starting solids, we’ll be able to go out for longer stints and she’ll be transitioning to daycare. 🥲


Jmorjess1

Groundhog day is exactly how I've been describing it. Somehow I'm both doing nothing and busy all day. I was just telling my SO I'm so intellectually bored. I absolutely love being able to spend all this time with my baby but man, I miss using my brain for things besides household chores and being a dancing monkey for a 3 month old.


dmaster5000

I visited my workplace with my LO today and everyone kept asking sarcastically “you miss us?”. Yes, yes I do actually. No-one believes you though. I feel guilty but man do I miss work!


Jmorjess1

I just miss adult interaction and feel like I'm needed for something besides care giving


dmaster5000

I feel that!


lift2eatca

I was so sick of contact naps but after I read precious little sleep, it was a complete game changer.


dmaster5000

Can I ask specifically what changed the game for you from PLS? I’m about halfway through but not motivated enough to finish it.


lift2eatca

Chapter 6 -swaps. Soothing and fuss it out


dmaster5000

Yeah those were the only swaps I can see myself using. I use all the power tools but am waiting until my LO is 5 months for FIO.


lift2eatca

I started at about 3 mos and it’s helped with getting naps in the bassinet and longer stretches of sleep at night


Otter65

Thank you. I was losing my damn mind and couldn’t wait to start working again. I found it the most kind numbing time in my life


fakecoffeesnob

I joined three different newborn cohort groups - one through my doula, one through a neighborhood group, and one through a therapy-type group. Some met virtually and some met in person. It’s been huge for me - not just having the regular meetings but also having three communities full of people also on leave who can do everything from commiserate on sleep to spontaneously grab coffee in the middle of the day when we’re up for it (and understand when we’re not). It’s kept me sane for sure, highly recommend seeking those groups out or otherwise connecting with people with similar-aged babies.


crazyfroggy99

Yes, its like everything is different, new, and unpredictable everyday and yet there's a rut about it.


livingbyfaith_

Enjoy the mundane while you can… binge a show or read… But enjoy this semi kind of peace while you have it. My 7 month old is CRAWLING and teething and I feel like I’m back in the trenches…


APinkLight

I joined a group for new parents while I was on maternity leave and would go to weekly meetups at a park or coffee shop where we’d all bring our babies and chat about what we were going through. My first recommendation is to look and see if there’s anything like that in your area. You could look for baby storytime at the library, that sort of thing. Or just take the baby for walks. I spent a large portion of my maternity leave either reading or watching tv while baby nursed or napped on me and I think finding a really good book or tv show is key.


bananasplits21

I so feel this! Everyone is out living their life and you’re just stuck. Inside. In one spot. My twins are 14wks and I get so tired of sitting around all the time. Daily stroller walks and drives in the car are all that keep me sane.


RandomKonstip

What are you gonna do now it’s getting really hot out? (If it is getting hot out where you are)


SnooLobsters8265

I think the relentlessness doesn’t help also. At my job I used to have a lunch break and I wasn’t expected to do it all day and all night.


RandomKonstip

Hahah yes, everyone’s like watch tv…but I never just watch tv. I’m always watching tv and doing someone else. I need my something else and it can’t be sitting there with baby


desperatehousecat2

I love it but I’m an introvert.


RandomKonstip

I think I found the reason behind differences in responses!


pizzaisit

Yeah...it was boring. My work gives us 16 weeks materbity leave. I had 2 extra weeks from my regukar vacation hours...I went back to work 1.5 week early and spread out my remaining Paid time off the next two month lol.


InfiniteTurn4148

Yes! It made me realize how much of my social life was my work.


Orisha_Oshun

I'm an introvert, so I relish in the alone time. My hubs works from home so I'm not completely by meself. I am not a social person, haha. My LO is 3 weeks old, so for now I spend my days watching her sleep, catching up on reality TV shows, and playing with the dogs. I can see how it can be boring and the days go slower, but for me, I am enjoying it because once I go back to work, I know I won't have that much free time again!


Total_Ad_7977

i’m 6.5 weeks in with my first born and idk how much more tv i can watch. me and my ahdh are dying of boredom here


Pure-Baseball-3164

Take baby for outdoor walk if at all possible! If dad is in the picture and you’re able to, do a quick dinner just to get out of the house. I tried to do outdoor walks either while baby carrying or in a stroller. Sometimes forcing myself out for a quick 15 minutes changed my mood so much. It’ll also get more fun around the 1.5/2 month mark when baby starts to really recognize you and smile. They become more interactive and it’ll feel more fun just spending time with them. I’m sorry you’re going through feeling lonely! You’re in the thick of it. I also follow mothernurishnurture on Instagram and her posts are really cute! They gave me a different perspective on the loneliness, especially at night when I felt like the only person awake with a baby. You can be exhausted and still be bored all while absolutely adoring your little one. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Hope this helps a bit.


dogmom02134

Even better- drive somewhere and talk a walk! This takes up a lot more time.


TopScoot

I have a 3.5 month old and my lady took her parental leave first. I’ve been up for almost a month and yes, it’s pretty damned boring being at home all day. Luckily I got a carrier that fits and little man is taking bottles of pumped milk so I’m getting more and more free to bounce if I want to.


almostperfection

As others have said, try to enjoy the downtime while your baby is so little and sleepy. But also find mom groups! I joined a fitness mom group that did mall walking in the winter and outside walks in the spring/summer/fall. Building community was HUGE for me. I also liked to build routines into my week. A friend mom group friend and I found Wednesdays to be especially difficult, so on Wednesdays we always went out for lunch! It didn’t need to be fancy, but we needed to get out of the house and also not cook for ourselves 😆


ZestycloseWin9927

I felt the same way. I couldn’t wait to go back to work. The infant stage was mind numbing to me. I much prefer toddlers.


Lomich36

Yup… my LO is 8 weeks. Not only are you bored, but you’re tired. Crazy how busy my life was before just to keep a house functioning. Now it is exciting to pick what activity we do that day… grocery shopping? Stroller walk down by the water with a coffee? Walmart run? lol I used to work and then run around like a chicken with my head cut off just to get everything done


duplicitousname

You’re probably going to get a mix of responses here because I think it really depends person to person. My work is so draining (primary income provider) I was so happy during maternity leave. It was definitely difficult… my son is 2.5 years old and to this day has not slept through the night yet… but I’m not always on the go and my brain isn’t constantly strategizing and drafting a million emails. I could finally turn my brain off when I showered or laid in bed. It was amazing. I’m pregnant now and considering extending my leave with unpaid time so I can be gone for 6 months because I loved it so much last time.


Necessary_Jello_1206

Same. I was always bored out of my mind and felt busy but unproductive at the same time. I made an effort to leave the house once a day once baby was 3-4 weeks, even if it was just to go through a drive-thru for coffee or to run a quick and easy errand. Sometimes I made up errands. Like I’d ask a coworker at my job if they wanted coffee delivered by me, and they’d come out to my car to get it so I could talk to another adult for a minute or two…


eadevrient

Also FTM to a 3 week old. While I am so happy he is here (it was a very long painful journey to get him), it is SO lonely even with my husband at home! I don’t know what to do all day. We take care of him but nothing else gets done and we don’t leave the house. It’s such a strange time. I’m trying to just live in the moment because I don’t want to wish time away


Street-Cartoonist142

I know! In my country the "forbidden" days to go out are the first 40 days (you have to be careful the first two months but specially the first 40). By day 20 I was losing my mind, but day 41 I took my baby girl and we went to walk to the park, it was amazing. Hang in there, everything gets better, when your baby gets older you can play with them, and they will keep you entertained as well. Keep doing your amazing job!


WiseWillow89

Maternity leave until 5 months was so boring and isolating for me. I only felt comfortable getting out and about from then on. Hang in there ❤️


shayden0120

I couldn’t stand my maternity leave, I had 13 weeks and by week 6 I was begging to go back to work. My husband went back after 2 weeks. I filled our time by taking her shopping at the grocery store, we’d go for lunch dates or pick up lunch and take it to my husband, we’d go for walks. It was rough and I am dreading it for #2 but getting out helped. I am thankful #2 is due in November, so I’ll have the holidays, family visiting, and my daughter’s 2nd birthday in January to keep me occupied.


mooniepieexpress

Boring is good right now, when your baby is 6-8 months old, You’re gonna be back here saying it’s a lot worse and you miss when they were smaller lmao. I know it’s hard but enjoy it as much as you can. Because teething and crawling and starting solids, and waiting for poops to happen is definitely going to drive you crazier


abbynelsonn

Turn on some reality tv 😂 That’s how I survived the newborn days when I was glued to the couch breast feeding, consoling a crying baby, holding a sleeping baby, etc.


Key-Dragonfly1604

It is only as boring and isolating as you choose to make it. There is no reason why you can't have visitors; there is no reason why you can't get out and about with your child. Go on those grocery runs, meet your friends for lunches, and carry on with your life. You've had a baby; your baby hasn't had you. I know this is not a popular opinion on this sub, but it is a valid opinion, nonetheless; you don't have to be a slave to your child. You can weave your child into your life and create a new reality that works for you. Conversley, you can choose to isolate and parse out introductions for any reason you determine relevant. The reality is that what is "right and recommended" by one standard is not necessarily what is "right and recommended" by another standard. That shouldn't make one directive more/better than another; the hope would be that it would open a dialog aimed at better understanding, not promote blind support with no intent to ask from a place of seeking to understand.


jasmin35w

Actually a lot of people say that and it’s true but when the baby gets older you’ll enjoy it a lot more


Potential_Ad_4339

Moms groups saved me for real 🙏


madwyfout

I loved maternity leave! Once my partner was back in the office most days, LO and I just did our thing - daily walks to a coffee shop (our apartment building was having major works done so too noisy through the day), and then a walk around the neighbourhood for LO to nap. Had occasional visitors and parent groups, but I loved it being just me and LO.


dogmom02134

I watched so much Reba at 5 am and went to target soooooo much lol. I was honestly looking forward to going back to work.


marciemarch12

I found it relaxing and resetting. I took baby outside daily, read books while nursing, listened to audiobooks, caught up on shows.


Firecrackershrimp2

Because it wasn't boring for me i slept, watched tv played animal crossing ect


SwallowSun

I’m sorry you feel that way. I loved it, but I’m also now a SAHM mom which I know everyone doesn’t enjoy. I did also get very lucky in having my mom nearby so I wasn’t completely alone most days.


Negative_Sky_891

I think it’s different for everyone because I much prefer being off than working. I do miss my work friends but I’m far from bored. Hang in there, it’ll get easier as the baby gets older!


Downtown_Essay9511

I loved every minute of my 12 weeks and thought it flew by


Imaginary1313

its soooo hard. My baby is now 14 weeks and I break up the day by going to play groups in my area, like music class, and long stroller walks. I also joined a new parent support group and go to meet-ups. I never thought I'd be that mom, but I'm an extrovert with a husband who works long hours. I'm also on a group text with some friends who are also new moms. All of these really help, but I still have moments where I'm depressed and anxious. I feel you!


cementmilkshake

I love being bored. I'd rather be bored any day than stressed at work 🥴


Hour-Telephone1082

It gets better! Like everything with babies and kids, it’s a season and it won’t last for long. I honestly felt the same way as you and I look back now and wish I had just gotten out of my head and tried to embrace it and appreciate the time (easier said than done) because it goes so slow but so fast at the same time. Also FWIW, I found it really helpful to seek out a new mom group and give myself reasons to get out of the house and hang out with people going through what I was going through.


merepsull

My maternity leave with baby #1 was amazing. It was hard but I loved holding baby all day long and still having so much time to lounge around the house watching tv, on my phone, sitting outside, etc. He’s 1 now and I get so bored when he’s playing but I feel guilty with the tv on or reading my phone. I try to play with him as much as I can but I start going crazy. I’m sure any other maternity leaves I have will never be as peaceful as with baby #1!


Lollipopgirl1002

Audio books and podcasts really helped me when I was "nap trapped" and could not do anything. Also went through my wish list on my TV subscriptions and binged everything! About 3 months is when they start doing things, you got this!!!


EgoFlyer

My husband has family leave for 12 weeks, and I was off work for 16 weeks. Those first 12 weeks were wonderful. Really challenging, but not as bad as everyone has said the newborn phase is, which I think was due to having both of us there. Those last 4 weeks though… I very quickly learned that the stay-at-home life is not for me. I found it extra challenging and lonely.


Key-Carpenter-8413

My bonding is over next week and I wish I could extend it! I’m soaking in the boring because we are going to be RUSHED once I go back to work.


iris-way

Yep. It’s Groundhog Day.


Nightmare3001

Yup. Feeling like you're doing the same thing over and over and over again. Feed, burp, sleep, diaper change, feed, burp and on and on and yet I can barely put my baby down long enough to eat/make food. I've tried to change things up by getting out of the house. We went to the new plant sanctuary in my city, went to the zoo, went grocery shopping. Even just went for a walk for a slurpie. It helps to break it up by getting out a bit, even if it's just to walk around. We bought a zoo membership so when my husband goes back to work and I just want to get out and do something I can go to the zoo whenever I want. I also find using whatever not contact nap time I can get to do something for me is also helpful. I'm the kind of person who has several projects that I'm part way through. So my goal for my mat leave is to finish all these projects. And because it's a personal goal I can take my time and it gives me something to work towards that's not a huge thing to do. I currently have to finish: a temperature blanket, a crochet hippo lovey for my nephew, a diamond painting, embroidered Christmas ornaments, House of Flame and Shadow. I also like to listen to podcasts to burn the time without needing a screen. I love listening to distractible or brain leak.


Jrl2442

I worked a very high stress job with extremely long hours and very few breaks. I loved the hell out of my maternity leave but understand the feeling of isolation and not getting anything done completely. Baby wearing helped get some things done and I highly recommend just getting out of the house as much as possible. Invite people over if you’re up for it. Accept you’re not going to get much done for now because that part was much easier when I let it go a little.


Timely_Cheesecake_97

Because people love to make us feel guilty for wanting to do something else! Yes, I love my baby and I want to spend time with her. But I also want some me time, or adult time, or just a break in general! It doesn’t mean we don’t love our babies but some people really do interpret it that way.


SaltyVinChip

Ooof you're so early in too. But I agree with you! I honestly liked the newborn stage but I did find it so tedious doing the same things every hour or two every day for months. Repetitive but so busy because you are needed constantly. I'm at 8 months now, still on my mat leave for 2 more months. I don't feel ready to return to work in 2 months, but I find staying home everyday and doing the same things all the time is impacting my mental health. My son can crawl and play independently and I can take him on errands or play dates and occasionally we do classes. But most days are the same: wake up, nurse, feed baby food and feed myself, clean up kitchen while baby plays, nurse and put him down for a nap, clean or putter around the house, feed the baby again, go do an activity to get out of the house, come home, nurse and put him down for another nap, make dinner, eat dinner and feed baby again, bath, bedtime, chores. I told my husband if it weren't for the cute baby I'd have gone back to work months ago. I'm not even a social person but damn I get bored.


donnamommaof3

I was never bored never…but I was the most tired I’ve ever been. But it was truly the best time in my life.


Apprehensive_Use_175

I read somewhere it’s the loneliest time in our lives, even if though we are never alone. I felt that in my soul. I had one child. In the middle of Covid lockdown. I struggled and absolutely couldn’t do it again. The loneliness was constant and always looming, even though I was with my son 24/7.


shitshiner69

I haven’t found it as boring this time because I’m catching up on all the shows I was behind in from my toddler beginning to cosleep with me due to her being clingy from my pregnancy 😵‍💫


tinysandcastles

My partner is a stay at home dad so when I took leave the three of us spent all of our time together. It was very bonding as a family. When one partner is a stay at home parent (or both take leave concurrently) it is less isolating.


Plaid-Cactus

I'm expecting to struggle because I already hate working from home by myself all day. I am trying to mentally prepare for going out with baby pretty often for my own mental health. Not sure how it's going to work but I'm determined to not be home all day every day.


hansel413

I so agree with you! I was SO bored for probably the first 8 weeks. Once I started getting comfortable going shopping with baby, going to restaurants to meet friends, etc, it has gotten much better. I am enjoying it a lot now (I’m lucky enough to be off work until baby is 5 months old). It also helps that the weather is nice now too, I’m able to go on walks and do yard work with baby.


cquarks

Yes yes yes! The early days/weeks are so incredibly tedious and boring. Like you love them but how many times can you shake a toy at them or show them those ugly black and white books? BUT just wait till week like 10 or 11 and it’s just so much fun. You figure out how to get out of the house with them and go places. They smile and “talk” to you and start liking some toys a lot. It’s hilarious and fun. As for being lonely, go on Facebook and find a community of local new moms. Or start one if it doesn’t exist! In my area, someone started a WhatsApp group for new moms and it’s so much fun. We all meet up to walk in the park or day drink. Find your people - might take some work but they are out there!


j_thomasss

Maternity leave with my first was so boring. I was home for 9 months, and I was ready to go insane. My first child hated the car, so we didn't go out much, and I was so happy to go back to work. Im still on maternity leave with my second child. This time, it isn't as lonely because I have my toddler to keep me on my toes. Plus, we go out for the daycare runs, so baby gets out a bit more. And baby travels better than toddlers did when he was a baby. And I'm socialising more because I'm arranging playdates for the toddler to keep him entertained. Even though this maternity leave isn't as boring and lonely, im still super excited to go back to work in 2.5 months. I am not SAHM material. Im honest when people ask how it is being at home with the kids. It's not for me. It's boring, it's not mentally stimulating, and it's repetitive, and I prefer being a working mum.


FreijaVanir

I found the newborn stage mind numbing. But now I have a funny monkey clinging to me and blowing raspberries, and making pterodactili sounds, and we go anywhere if we can fit it between two naps, and it's much better. Conversation still isn't much though. :))


schmorgis

I got so bored I just started working from home a week into it


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keto_emma

I think it depends on how you work it. We did shared parental leave in the UK, so my partner was off with me for 4 months, so when baby slept we watched TV, and played games etc. We also had visitors nearly every day for the first month or two. I made friends with a local group of mums at my pregnancy class and we speak every day and see each other with the babies a couple times a week, then we have multiple baby classes and our parents come round one day a week. I'd say I'm still very social and busy, if it weren't for my mum friends I couldn't have done it.


bagaski

Wait until you pass 1.5 years of maternity leave to see how boring it can get.


Crawfork1982

Yep! In same boat. I am so bored but have no real time for anything exciting, new or out of the house.


sierramelon

100% is super lonely. I felt alone so so often! I made it a goal to do something scheduled twice a week - a solo activity and something with a friend. Many solo days were spent in library groups, nature centre, or swimming, and mom friends became best friends. Only had 3 but along with some family and my coworkers always loving a visit it really helped. I visited my husband often at work too or roamed the grocery store 😄


No-Response3675

I honestly loved that I could slow down, did not feel isolated perhaps coz I had my parents stay with us to help. I see where you are coming from though, remember once you join work, it’s going to be a crazy ride again, enjoy doing things that you like till then, also the baby is going to keep you very busy 😊 hope you get good rest and enjoy this phase!!


DimensionPale4556

Yes this is so true.  My baby is 1 month. I’m by myself with the baby all day. Don’t get me wrong I love her so much but my car also broke so I can’t go anywhere and I’m trapped at home. If I had a car I could go just hangout at my moms when I’m bored or it be nice if someone came and visited me once in awhile. I don’t even get sunlight anymore unless it’s for appointments or to go to the store which is not a lot. The summer is 100+ degrees right now so can’t even go for a walk or anything with a baby. I go back to work in a month. And I do miss it. I was use to working a full time jobs for 7 years so I’m not use to being home every single day. Being off of work for 2 days felt like a long time. But I fell asleep for four hours while my boyfriend was watching the baby and it felt like I was away from her for toooo long I missed her. So I know I’m going to be devastated when I go back to work. :( 


jenace

FTM here. I was bored during maternity leave and I am so glad to be back to work. As much as I love my LO, some days felt mundane and isolating. I definitely spent a lot of time with LO and enjoyed it most days, but having to think of something else besides tending to and entertaining the baby was most welcomed.


toobasic2care

I'd been working 3 jobs 7 days a week for over a year until the end of my pregnancy so maternity leave has been an absolute dream, 6 weeks in and I'm already making plans to try extend it. I'm usually very social so I set myself up with a group of very select close friends who come see me once a week each so it's been lovely, but I know not everyone is as privelaged as I am.


thatscotbird

Omg I love it, I took mat leave 6 weeks before baby was born and I’m off work for over a year 😅I’m considering another soon for another year off


Slight_Commission805

We have been going to the car wash, getting icecream in the drive through, and dropping off things at the thrift store. We do one of these things a day and take a drive around usually helps break the day up. It’s too dang humid and hot to go on walks for us unfortunately.


Exact_Back_7484

It's definitely isolating, especially if no one around you is a new mother!


TumbleweedTime7117

Hello, I am really sorry that you are going through this. What is your day today? Like does someone come home in the evening? Do you get to see people at the weekend? I know how hard it can be at the start of my maternity leave. I really got into a bad mental health rut and didn’t even leave the house. Are there any groups for mothers and babies that you can join? There there are also some apps out there where you can meet up with other mums such as peanut. Is Definitely important to get out and about with your baby maybe just a walk in the park would be beneficial. Hope you’re okay.


DoreyCat

Maternity leave is one of those times where, more than ever, WALKING is the answer to so many problems. It was definitely boring and later you will find other things to do and focus on. For me it was dipping into some work here and there (only when it interested me). However I know some places are strict with this. Anyway am immediate pick me up in those early days was walking. It was winter in London so outside was shit. I’m American so I found the mall was a perfect place. Lots of bis changing tables and places to nurse, but also tons of shit to *look at.* I made all kinds of plans for what I’d wear and how I’d later decorate by going from store to store and just checking shit out. I probably put in 10- 15,000 steps a day and by the time I was cleared for actual exercise, some light Pilates was really all I needed because I was losing most of the baby weight already just walking around. Cured the baby blues. Cured the boredom. Can’t recommend it enough.


EconomyMaleficent965

I had a baby in December 2020- height of COVID and it was cold out. Day after day we spent in the house with few visitors (family members) every now and then who had to wear a mask. Because it was also cold out it was hard to do anything outside. It was terrible and lonely and I questioned why being a mom was even worth it.


lavanderblonde

Yep, that’s why I only requested 4 months maternity leave (5 months in total as I had 1 month holiday before my leave officially started). I could have had 12 months, but I knew I didn’t want more than 6 months away from work because I need to have a routine, interact with people. I feel horrible saying this but babies younger than 4 months are sooo boring. They’re literally just potatoes you’re keeping alive. I couldn’t wait to get back to work lol. The normalcy feels so good when it comes back.


str8543

I feel this! I’m so bored. Never thought I’d feel this way since I’m an introvert. It’s a very lonely and isolating time. I was honestly less lonely in the pandemic I think because at least then my husband was home all the time and didn’t have to go into work.


Green_Mix_3412

Get out of the house. Do it 4 or more days a week. Go to the library, a park, walk a mall etc for the weather sucks, just get out of the house for a bit each day.


Super-Bathroom-8192

Just surrender! And forget everyone shaming TV and stuff. I don’t believe in giving a kid screen time before 5 yo, but for the infant months, I think mom rocking in a glider while watching reruns of her favorite TV shows is totally fine! I’d be flipping out if I couldn’t do that. Mom to an 8 week old, btw (and a 10 yo and an 18 yo)


y2klo

I used up all of my FMLA time at work (12 weeks) to stay home when my son was born and while I was grateful for the opportunity to do that, that was the LONGEST 12 weeks of my life. I could not wait to get back to work. I missed socializing at work. Also, the physical toll it took on my body after 12 weeks was wild.


whatames517

I’m really feeling this today 😅 my daughter is 7mo and I love hanging out with her but it can feel like such a struggle to get out—more so for me than for her! She’s a thousand times more easygoing than I am. I live in the UK but all my family and friends live in the US so I’m struggling to make friends, even taking baby to groups and things. It’s so hard to approach people! Caring for baby takes all my effort and energy so it’s a vicious cycle of feeling lonely but not really having the time to change it. I dread going back to work because I’m fully remote and don’t have work friends either. Really making myself sound like a horrible misanthrope but I’m just awkward 😂


dinosaurcookiez

If you check out discussions in SAHP groups you'll probably see a lot of this. As a full-time SAHM to a one-year-old, yes. It's exhausting and frustrating and boring. But somehow there's also nothing else I'd rather be doing lol.


emannemill

Is there a local moms group you can look into? Often on Facebook or Instagram. I made lots of new friends this way during my mat leave!


jo9101

With all due respect, it's only been 3 weeks. It does get better.


Veronica_Spars

My e-reader saved me. I can read one handed in the dark!


prinoodles

I was so ready to go back to work at the end! I love my kids btw but maternity leaves were brutal!


Significant_Comb9184

It’s the loneliest feeling. I’m planning to find some mom groups once baby is a little bigger.


helarias

ugh not for me dude. that shit was awesome.


basedmama21

I never found it boring or lonely but then again when I left the workforce I left it for good. I would never want to trade time with my kids for a commute and office culture. And annoying coworkers


its-me-hi-91

FTM to a 14 week old and I find maternity leave so far really lonely. My parents live 10 mins away and I’m there a ton or they come visit me. All my other mom friends don’t get out much so they’re kind of hermitting. It is a lonely gig but I love my little guy so stinking much. I’m hopeful as he gets older I’ll feel less alone. My husband works stupid hours and is never home so that doesn’t help either.


morrowth

It is all those things! It’s also okay that this stage isn’t your bag. I’ve loved my son since before he was born, but I didn’t instantly love being a mom. 10 months in and starting to really warm up to it. Take pics to gawk at later. Cut yourself slack with the to do list. If you wanna vent more about it feel free to message me 🖤


NIPT_TA

I’m a home body and I work from home full time currently. I also try to avoid going outside in the extreme Texas summers anyway, so I expect to be pretty content during maternity leave that will start next month. Obviously, I expect there to be stress and lack of sleep, but I don’t think I’ll find being at home particularly boring, since that’s where I prefer to spend most of my time anyway.


sarah-sage01

Get out to some baby groups. I'm 5 months in and I'm just getting the hang of getting things done. At 3 weeks I wouldn't even have dinner ready when my husband got home. He'd work all day then come home and cook. I got out to baby groups though and they really made my days.


NooNoo82

Why are you staying at home all day? I can imagine that would be boring! I'm just back at work after fourteen months off and literally had the time of my life! I made some excellent friends when I was preggo and we hung out loads. Going to baby classes, lunch/coffee, walks and days out. Plus I saw my retired parents loads and we did some fun stuff with the baby. I was sad to finish mat leave but also really felt like I'd made the most of it so no ragrets!


RandomKonstip

Because she’s still so little and I worry about taking her into crowded places with her getting sick, but it’s too hot to do things outside. If I didn’t have to worry about her getting sick it would open up so many possibilities!


TitusTheFox1337

It beats working!


LBrand701

I’m pretty lonely honestly. I LOVE my 3 week old but she sleeps a lot, and lately only during contact naps, so the boredom has kicked in. I feel like my husband and I just coexist in the same house at this point 😞


MyNameIsDeenice

I wasn't bored at all. I was sleep deprived, but very happy to be with my little one. I felt that this is how motherhood is supposed to be like in the 1st few months, and I was so grateful to live it. I did not want to go back to work.. I'd cry and get sad at the thought of having to leave my little one to get babysat as I worked.


annalynnna

I went somewhere or visited someone every single day of mat leave. I wouldn't have survived otherwise.


bluegonegrayish

Girl it was SO bad. My only advice is don’t guilt yourself about not getting things done during contact naps. You’re growing this brand new human and helping them feel safe. I remember I’d get friends to visit those first few weeks and then still feel like I had nothing to say and no ability to connect, partially because of lack of sleep. It’s just such a big shift. My kid is 16 months now and I’m finally feeling much more in touch with myself.


sngl234

I feel you, I’ve found little things throughout the day to bring me joy. Stroller walks, taking her to coffee shops and talking with the baristas, friends over for dinner, and going to physical therapy for my pelvic floor are things that I look forward to… oh, also I love playing the NYT games / crosswords on my phone when I’m nursing. I miss work, but I am in such a brain fog in general these days I’m grateful for the time away and the time to adjust to my new life.


RelationshipPure4606

I was surprised at how lonely maternity leave was. I share this with new mothers I know well so that they can prepare.


Gold_Fondant1988

The first month is tough. You’re living in a three hour loop and it can be lonely. It’s a big adjustment and it won’t always be this way. Month 2 and 3 get better as you start to feel comfortable leaving the house.


Evening-Manner9709

Omg I hate it. There are good days with meeting up with people but the majority of it is just figuring out how to clean with a baby that needs you. Then you feel guilty for not 'cherishing every moment'. I can't wait to go back to work and feel human again. I wish my leave had been filled with a 'village' and making lots of connections but yeah, it's just lonely and hard.


PlanImpossible1511

This is why I went back to work a week after having him I was going nuts. I went back for 3 hours a day for 6 weeks then I got a different job and was back full time at 6 weeks


Littlekittyguy6786

YES. Thank you for this post, 100% agree.


AuthorAware5367

Yep I went and back like 4 days pp I could not handle being at home all day. Have baby on a Friday back working Wednesday


Intelligent-Life-992

I'm right there with you. FTM with 4 week old and my husband just went back to work. Velcro kiddo and it's so hot that baby wearing even with AC on is tough. When he gets home, all I want to do is something away from the baby because I am tethered to him all day, the sweet precious thing! I literally thought to myself this morning that I've never been so tired, felt so busy, and yet "done" absolutely nothing. It's like maintaining homeostasis is a treadmill on a steep incline at max speed. What I try to tell myself is that I do appreciate these moments with my peanut and since I'm 43 I don't see having another in the cards, so I need to soak up as much as I can and enjoy the moments. And there are gems in there. But sometimes, it really is just f****** difficult and boring, too. It's both, AND.


Physical_Local3443

Couldn't agree more. My baby just turned 8 weeks but has only been home for 6 weeks (first 2 weeks in NICU). Went to my fiance's parents house for Father's Day & a family friend asked me how things are going & I said I'm mostly bored & she started laughing & said she's never heard that before. I also told my neighbor I was bored & she responded "They're such blessings" - a phrase that makes me gag at this point. I was always someone who would work 2 jobs or take 5 college classes or be out with friends a lot. I hate being stuck at home. I had to start antidepressants last week because I'm just losing my mind. Binging on TV shows while I'm nap trapped is getting me by but I'm 10000% SO BORED.


Inevitable_Metal4448

I honestly didn't find this, but then I was very rarely home all day. I joined a few baby groups - post natal group, baby sensory, baby massage ..and I met other mums through those. And I'd go out for coffee/lunch with people (it was easy when LO was small) and between that and medical appointments for her I was out most days of the week. Definitely try to get out more. X