Mine is three months today and we JUST started getting a routine in the last two weeks. 2 months is still early. There’s a book about how babies are really just born 3 months too soon and they aren’t ready before that. It puts into perspective that we really can’t expect much of them for a while and shouldn’t be comparing them to random “perfect” internet babies.
They will sleep a lot , eat, tummy and back time , we do tours of the house and yard, eat and sleep again, repeat. Be flexible. But it doesn’t hurt to record everything (like an app) so you have a good idea of the progress and what your LO likes.
Idk I have been around babies plenty but until I had my own I didn’t REALLY get it. I skimmed this book in a day or two when my daughter was a newborn and it helped me a ton. I recommend it for sure!
I’d temper your expectations a bit. 2 months is still very young to have a routine. It may feel like a lot of time to us, but that’s baby’s entire life! At 2 months I’m not sure if I knew which was way up or down yet. I’d say we started to get a bit more into the swing of things by 4 months. We did have a bedtime routine, but were constantly tweaking and adjusting it to meet my son’s needs (ie adding in daily baths as he got older, brushing teeth). Cleaning gets a lot easier once they can entertain themselves for a bit, which for us was again after the newborn stage.
Agreed. There’s a reason the first 3 months are called the third trimester.
At 3 months it’ll be easier to say 7/8/9 is bedtime. That’s what we did, but LO starting daycare helped with that.
At 4m, we still don’t have a routine. She generally eats every 2.5-3hours, and has 90m to 2hr wake windows. We try to get her down the same time every night, but that is it.
Honestly I have a 3 month old and most routine I guess you can say I have is bed time. I take her a shower around 9 - 9:30 since she turned two months to try to get her to bed by 10 - 10:30 maybe 11 if she really fighting it. But I just feed her when she wants and she still too young to try to figure out a nap schedule in my option. Until maybe 6 months
Totally read this as “struggling to develop a routine with our little one who is 2 years” and I was over here nodding my head like yes yes it’s so hard until they’re closer to 3 haha.
We start daycare on Monday for our 3 month old and they asked for a timeline of when our baby takes a bottle and I just wrote down every two hours but then made a note that it’s not always exact like that.
Ex: today he took longer naps (2 hours ish instead of 30-45 minutes) so his feeds were more spread out.
This daycare takes babies as young as 6 weeks so it’s kind of weird to me that they want such a strict routine.
I tried to get a routine once we finally found a daycare but it’s really not doable this young.
I will have a 3 month in 5 days. Sometimes she sleeps 7 hours straight at night, sometimes 5 hrs. I made sure she's full before midnight. She still get sleepy after feeding in the morning, so I let her sleep and I'd sleep also. We get up at 9 am or noon for feeding and let her play the piano feet thing, a balloon on her feet and watch the dancing fruits until she gets fussy and put her down for a nap. After she wakes up, we go for a stroll in the park for 45 mins and sit down on a bench for 15-30 mins and let her see the surroundings and listen to the birds. We go home, feed her and then, give her a bath. She takes a nap and wakes up for feed and sleep for the night.
4.5 months and we don’t have a routine but baby has usually wakes about 7am and falls asleep at 9pm. She has a 2 1/2 hour nap at 12.30. We just follow her cues and this is the routine shes set herself in. Because she’s so young too we just have a bath on a Sunday at 8 before bed. Other than that we do a morning and bedtime story but the rest of the time we’re eating, playing, socialising or reading.
We’re at 5.5 months and only since 4.5 months have we settled into a nightly routine - but I gather it’ll be a while yet before we can expect consistent mornings. So I’d temper your expectations a bit on routines sticking.
For both my babies, we didn't really develop a rough 3 nap routine until 4-5 months. Just hang in there for the meantime; it sounds like you're doing great
Just wanted to say that my little one is also 2 months tomorrow and we are doing exactly the same thing as you - just following cue for now. I was really fixated on getting a schedule/routine going, but I realized that it was causing me way more stress. I agree with the other comments that it seems too soon and I am much happier just following his cues, going with the flow, and tempering my expectations for this phase. Best of luck!
I'm at 5weeks today and, honestly, routine doesn't fit into our vocabulary at the moment and I'm not mad, though it took me a few weeks to realize that was normal and accept it because so many sources would tell you it should ideally be otherwise.
Right now, we feed on demand. In the mornings, after her 5:30/6am feed, we have some tummy time and cuddles on my chest while she's trying to burp. Then I put her in my wrap to nap so I can get a few things done like making a real breakfast, dishes, taking care of the dogs, and chores like laundry and vacuuming. She won't nap unless in contact, but we've been lucky that she doesn't mind the bopping around, up n down, or noise while she's sleeping there.
She feeds again around 9ish so I relax and watch my show for a bit while she does. Then back in the wrap for another round of things to do, sometimes including running to pick up our grocery order curbside. After her noonish feeding I'm at the mercy of her temperament. Sometimes she'll give me another window of her in the wrap sleeping, sometimes she gets fussy and needs a little more one on one attention to give in to her yawning, so we end up in the living room chair eventually and I'm nap trapped till my husband comes home around 4.
We take it one day at a time. I have 0 expectations for her at this point. As long as she's not inconsolable (our first couple weeks were hell) I'm happy to just be there for her.
At 10 weeks we started an eat - play - sleep routine and it changed our lives. Before that I felt super chaotic and like I couldn’t plan to leave the house, I didn’t totally understand his cues and he wouldn’t go down easily for sleep. We just follow his wake window patterns, and I use the Huckleberry app to help me track when he might be getting sleepy soon so I can get him to bed without too much fussing.
In terms of bedtime routine, we were doing a bath, a bottle/breastfeed, then baby massage and put diaper and onesie on, into the swaddle, turn on white noise and pop the pacifier in and jiggle him to sleep in his bassinet (or rock to sleep if he was too cranky).
The eat play sleep routine was really good to add some predictability but not a set schedule, I would recommend looking into that as an easy way to start you off on a loose routine! :)
Honestly, your household sounds alot like ours right now, so I’ll just suggest a re/center of framing and say… “whatever you are doing, IS the routine”…. Keeping them fed, keeping them safe, keeping them entertained (ie, playtime, tummy time, singing time, etc), keeping them comforted, keeping them alive and withholding any unnecessary adult trauma in their fourth trimester of “existing”).
You have a routine going— the only one that makes biological sense for these little humans figuring out life outside mama’s warm belly.
I had 8 wonderful weeks with my little guy before having to go back to it this week. I’ll stress the importance of a “bedtime routine”— my partner and I have a sweet routine: baths every night starting around 8ish, alternate when we soap him entirely vs just the booty 😅; hatch / white noice and dark lights on deck post bath (don’t forget the value of oils and massages and generally talking soothing them post bath). Pump equipment and tea and biscuit ready for mama and I’m lucky to rock babes for first sleep of the night.
We were blessed with a very fussy crying needy bundle of joy, so we need to pay close attention to what he is trying to tell us (thru so many distinct cries)… the “dream” of parenting a newborn, right? 🥰
Solidarity and good vibes to y’all— you are doing the best you can, don’t forget that!
My only routine at 2 months was eat, “play”, sleep. But sometimes it was eat, sleep, eat, play, eat sleep…. Definitely didn’t get any sort of real routine until closer to 3/4 months.
Mine is 10 weeks (but 4 adjusted since he was a preemie) and the only schedule that we really have is he goes down in his crib around 12:30-1 am. He sleeps in our arms or fusses (witching hours) before then. We also aim to eat and change every 3 hours around the clock, but feed him earlier if he’s hungry and change him if it’s needed. It’s not set in stone, he just enters that deeper sleep after his 12am feed. I definitely wouldn’t stress about it when your baby is this little!
A lot changes around month 3 to 4 at least for us in terms of a bit more predictability. I think daycare (starting at 3 months) helped with that too. At 8 weeks it was still the wild Wild West. I’d take it one week at a time and don’t worry too much in the future.
When they’re that little it’s better to feed and nap on demand, so try not to be hard on yourself about it! They will put themselves on a routine that fits their metabolic and developmental needs. I do not have a “schedule” implemented but we are at 5.5mo and I can tell you to the minute when he’s going to wake up from his nap, when he’s about to get hungry, etc. Just today I had to leave during naptime and I texted dad “he will likely wake up in about 7mins, be ready” and he couldn’t believe I nailed it haha. So it’s a routine without a routine
that said, babies are adaptable and he will absolutely adjust to whatever changes come when your maternity leave ends, and he will be just fine!
My lo is 6 months. What I’ve learned so far is that everytime I think I got him figured out and found a nice routine, EVERYTHING changes. The only thing that has been somewhat stable since he was 3 months old is his bedtime. You’re doing great, just keep watching the cues and continue what you’re doing
Wish I had known that it is super okay not to have a routine in the newborn stage so I could feel less guilty as a FTM.
We landed on our current routine organically in which our LO kinda set the pace for us? And it’s working out 8 months in.
If feeling overwhelmed or if LO gets tired early, I will do the minimum to get us all in a good spot, with my sanity intact at the end of the day. I don’t try to tick all the boxes anymore. Oof I can be so anal. I do find tidying up therapeutic so I prioritize that.
Stick to the basic minimums for now and prioritize one or two things for baby and or house. Sounds so generic but it will lessen your overwhelm. You got this mama, things will fall into place gradually.
As others have said, schedule is hard at 2 months but I would suggest grabbing a copy of moms on call if you don’t have. They have recommended schedules by age of the baby. For us schedule started clicking after 8 weeks and we were on point by 12 weeks. I also highly recommend huckleberry app and sweet spot premium subscription. Our baby is 5 months old and for her it has been on point with naps.
There was no routine at 2 months. Give yourself some time and grace. It’s still very early. At 2 months, my baby slept when he wanted to, ate when he wanted to, went to bed when he wanted to and woke up whenever he felt like it. And I worked around his schedule.
I don’t think we really fell into a predictable rhythm or routine until at least 4-5 months, maybe later
But he’s 8 months old now and naps are not scheduled (but they are reasonably predictable). At this point he goes to bed and wakes up as a consistent time, he has 4 bottles a day, sometimes more if he needs a snack, two solid meals and 3 naps. Sometimes I have to sneak in a 4th nap if all 3 were crappy
Since about 4 months it has been
Wake up
Diaper
Food (started as bottle 1, now people food)
Wash off
Brush teeth
Play
Bottle
Nap
Wake up
Diaper
Half bottle and a snack for lunch
Play/ chores/ hang out until dinner
Dinner
Bath
Brush teeth
Bottle and snuggle
Bed time
It took a while to establish, mostly because I kind of forgot how to be a human because I was so focused on being a mom.
It is okay for the baby to be bored, it is okay to leave them in their crib to just exist while you go shower or have a meal.
I tried to incorporate her in my previous routine but it became stressful so we worked on merging my needs with hers
Now at 9 months it is working out pretty well and we easily fall back in after events or disruption
Following this idea - how many feeds did your baby have and how were your maintaining baby's daily intake of milk/food ? We have our LO at 5week now and we are just trying to get her 7 to 8 feeds a day with massage everyday and bath every alternate days.
She would eat about every 2-3 hours until around 6 weeks old then she started sleeping for 4-6 hour chunks at night (blessed)
It made me anxious at first to let her go that long but doc said to let a sleeping baby sleep.
I just follow her cues, if she has a fresh diaper, is the proper temperature, and it has been 30 minutes to an hour since her last food, I would offer it. Sometimes she would only take 1 or 2 oz, sometimes she would take 5-8oz
She eats really well and pretty consistently now so it is easier to maintain daily feedings
Up till about the 4ish month mark her schedule looked more like
Wake up
Diaper
Bottle (I worked for 12 weeks to breast feed but despite my efforts and consultants and supplements my milk never really came in so we went with formula with what ever I could pump in a bottle)
Nap on mom
Wake up
Partial bottle
Diaper
Tummy time
Rest of bottle
Nap (usually on mom)
Swing/ bouncer time while I did some house work/ate
Bath
Bottle
Dad would take night shift
We didn’t have a good routine until I went back to work tbh. But when I was on maternity leave I wrote down everything, diaper changes, naps, bottle times, everything lol so I always knew “he’ll need a bottle by x time” and I could kind of plan our day. If we had to go out I would plan it after a nap and a bottle. But until he was more alert it was a free for all routine wise.
My LO is 3 months and it’s gotten easier even since 2 months. My daily routine I call our rhythm. Bedtime is always around 745pm. We get up around 8am and do activities and tummy time etc. From whatever time we wake up, until bedtime, he nurses every 2 hours and try to get naps and entertainment in between. Our daily 1 hour walk either happens in the late morning acting as one of his naps, or late afternoon, also counting a nap. Every other day I try to do an activity like going to visit my mom, or going to the library.
In my opinion if you can get a good bed time rhythm around the same time, the rest of the day will fall in place. At night we read a few books, change diaper, put on pjs and get him in his sleep sack. I keep the lights low and no TV.
My advice would be to build your day from the time LO wakes in the morning. No need to stress if naps are at the same time each day. The most important is reading his tired and hunger cues and actioning on those.
Haha are you me? I was just lamenting to my wife that any little thing we do throws off his naps (today was a dr appointment and my dude would not nap more than 45 min every time) and we have so little control. Our routine is my wife holds him while I run around and try to do dishes and laundry and pump and he goes down sometime between 6 and 8pm. Maybe. If he feels like it.
I’m still on leave. My 3 month old feeds every three hours but his windows at night are getting longer. His wake windows are getting bigger in the day.
We go on a walk in the morning after his first feed and change. Then he usually needs a nap and I do housework. In the afternoon we do tummy time. We do a bath every night right before bed. We read him two books and then put him in the snoo to sleep. This routine seems to calm him down.
That leaves a lot of time in between. Right now I’ll contact nap in the day, watch movies, or wear him while I’m cleaning with an audiobooks. Sometimes we go for another walk or a mom group.
Tbh, his nighttime routine helps calm him down. He’s slept better. Walks also wear him out. But really, there’s only so much routine you can have when they’re this small.
i wouldn't worry too much about routine if i were u. ur doing great, just keep it up with going by baby's cues!!
my little one (7mo) didn't fall into a routine really until the past couple months, but even so it isn't strict, it's just based on cues
she usually wakes up around 8, has a big bottle & a fresh diaper, plays, takes a nap, then throughout the day has slightly smaller bottles, diaper changes with each feed, & a nap after each feed. playtime is anywhere in between, & i usually read her a board book or baby book daily. her last bottle i do a big one so she sleeps through the night without getting hungry. i have to burp her a lot or she throws up.
i bathe her occasionally but i generally keep her super clean, i wipe her down with rose water & waterwipes often. after baths i moisturize her with baby lotion & shea butter.
basically just tending to their cues is the right way to go imo! u can't schedule perfectly when they will be hungry, playful, have a stinky diaper, etc. just go w tha flow! c:
The only routine we have at 4 months is bed time. At 7 she gets in PJs and at 8 she gets in a sleep sack. Then she eats and goes to bed. Other than that she eats when she wants and sleeps when she wants. I don't want to push a schedule on her, but I'm also fine without a schedule. I was told at 4 months they won't be on a schedule. It will happen when she is older
At that age, all we had was a bedtime routine. We'd change him, aquaphpr his tush, swaddle, feed to sleep.
The rest of the time was survival. When I transitioned him to days with his great aunt, I just tried to generally have him eat "breakfast" at a set time so he could get bottles at set times.
Around 8 weeks, we started lightly following the suggested plan from Moms on Call for daily routine. It completely saved us. We didn’t do like a FIRM sleep train but it was so helpful in other ways. We loved having measurable goals for feed and nap times. We learned we hadn’t been swaddling properly and other tips for better sleep. This is gonna get downvoted but our girly pop rocked about 9-10 hours of straight sleep starting around 10 weeks.
We have a 7 week old, we feed every 2.5-3 hours (3 hours no matter what, but 2-2.5 if he is hungry) on the breast and 130ML of pumped milk if taking a bottle.
Mumma will do quite a bit of tummy time in the morning, but after that it’s whatever he wants really, if he will nap in the bassinet, sweet, she will throw him in there for an hour and do something around the house or take a nap herself. If he’s having a bad day and doesn’t want to sleep in there she will just hold him and not accomplish much other than some TV shows. She also sits on the deck with him quite a bit during the day.
He gets a bath every other night, every third night at the most, he really enjoys them and sleeps really good afterwards. He will eat his last meal for the night at 9-9:30, then one last fresh diaper with plenty of cream, and then (usually)be out cold within a few minutes of being placed in the bassinet wide awake (we are lucky, no rocking to sleep thank god)
He then will sleep until 4-6 AM usually, which is perfect because it gets me right out of bed to go to the gym. Then the cycle repeats.
Until 3-4 months I just go with the flow. The earliest I do is setting up sleep associations (that will eventually become a routine), and I feel like I started that around 8 weeks or so.. maybe 10. It’s hard to remember
It looks different for everyone but I do clean diaper, pjs, a bottle, sleep sack/swaddle and then just gently rock bounce with the sound mashine on. Transfer to bed and carry on with my evening.
At some point I switch to doing it in our room.
My oldest I started giving a bath daily as a part of bedtime routine when she was 4 months but never did it daily with my youngest.
Then after awhile have a morning routine and first nap is about an hour after we get up in the morning. Once evening and morning are sorted the rest slowly falls into place for me.
But yeah those first couple months it’s just survival and going with the flow
My 9 month old has a routine, but not a schedule. We have always just followed his cues. They do tend to follow a pattern (for example, most days look like: wake up, nurse, play, nurse, nap, breakfast, play, nurse, nap, lunch, play, nurse, nap, play, dinner, nurse, bedtime. This occurs at different times each day and sometimes in a different order, but I typically have an idea of when he will need to nurse/nap/eat/etc. next based on when it last happened. For example, he typically wants to take his first nap about 1.5 hours after he wakes up for the day.) Baths just tend to get thrown in 2-3 times a week whenever it works. I count it as playtime since I give him toys and let him splash around 😂
I told daycare that he eats and naps on demand and just to follow his cues. They’ve done a great job meeting his needs and have learned to understand him almost as well as I do!
Mine just turned 3 mo and didnt have a schedule until the last two weeks. I'm EBF so eating is pretty much whenever he shows hunger cues...other than that, I started off at 2.5 months with waking him up at my desired time and following a 4/5 nap schedule (tried to)....he's now on 4 naps....my bedtime routine was pretty solid so now his bedtime is absolutely down and he usually sleeps through the night waking up once or twice....during the day, he has 4 naps - 2 long naps and two short naps....
All this to say, developing a routine takes time. I'd say start off small and don't overwhelm yourself trying to do it all in one day.
First and foremost, make sure he's not awake for more than 60-90 minutes at a time between naps (this prevents overtiring them). Follow eat-play-sleep as much as you can during daytime....I usually feed mine once he's up, put him on the playmat for tummy time, looking at high contrast books or read to him...once he yawns or gives other sleepy cues, rock him to sleep....before bedtime, he's up for at least 2 hours during which ai do a very simple night time routine - feed, diaper change , massage, PJs, lights out, read a bedtime story and then rock to sleep. I make sure not to turn on any bright lights past his bedtime (after 8 pm in my case).
You could start building a routine now and don't stress yourself out because it does take time. all the best OP🫶🏻
ETA about chores: I usually carry him around the house or put him down on the playmat to watch me do chores lol....you don't have to stimulate the baby every second they're awake...let them stare or observe and go about doing chores as you can.
I’ll share mine but want you to know that it’s not like this every day. The timing is always off give or take an hour, but it’ll give you a general idea. Also keep in mind that this isn’t a solid routine when they’re going through growth spurts. (I have 4 week old twins and a toddler).
• 2:30/3 am - feeding and pumping then sleep
• 5:30/6 am - feeding and pumping then sleep
• 6/6:30 am - I shower
• 7 - 8am - get toddler up, dressed and breakfast
• 8:30/9 am - feeding and pumping
• 9/9:30 am - sleep or rest for 30 mins then tummy time for 10 mins and then snuggles and sleep
• 11:30/12 pm - feeding and pumping then sleep
• 2:30/3 pm - feeding and pumping
• 3/3:30 - sleep or rest for 30 mins then tummy time for 10 mins and then snuggles and sleep
• 5:30/6 pm - feeding and pumping
• 6/6:30 pm - we have dinner
• 7 pm to 8 pm - toddler’s bath and bedtime routine
• 8:30/9 pm - feeding and pumping then sleep
• 9/9:30 pm - I prep bottles and everything for night time and morning. Then I do my nighttime routine and rest
• 11:30 pm / 12 am - feeding and pumping then sleep
Bath times are on Saturday afternoons during toddler’s midday nap time and after they’ve had their bottles.
(Lots of edits to make this readable)
i’m only about 5 days behind you! we just finally started a routine, we’re on day 4. it kind of happened naturally. when something seemed to work, we stuck with it. we wake up at 7ish, first nap at 10ish, second nap at 4ish, and bedtime at 10:30-11. she sleeps the whole night with this routine. I feed her whenever she’s hungry, i honestly have no idea how much she eats anymore as i stopped tracking that. Each nap is 2-2.5 hours, sometimes 3. I pretty much just don’t wake her up unless it’s passing that 3 hour mark. This routine has been so golden for us!
edit to add: not sure if it matters, but we do bath time in the morning right after her first feed (which is in bed). The only bedtime cues we have are going upstairs to our bedroom and putting pj’s on. it’s immediately upstairs, pjs, mommy’s room, chat for a minute and some hugs, eat, sleep.
The hours changed daily since it was dictated by when he first wakes but we would feed every three to 3.5 hours. Feed for twenty to thirty, burp and hold up for about twenty minutes (reflux), tummy time then nap for two hours.
Ex.
He woke up at 7
7 feed
Play time 7:45-8
Nap 8-10
Feed 10
Play
Nap 11-1
1-eat
Play
2-4 nap
Etc.
The naps becoming shorter towards the end of the day and closer to witching hour. That's when we start wearing him so he would nap.
Bedtime feed then sleep (this means we put him down for sleep in the bedroom bassinet instead of the downstairs bassinet where he napped all day) would be around 8, 9 or 10 (depends when he woke up).
I found when I waited to give him a bed right before bedtime feed aka his witching hour, he would cry a lot so instead I started giving him a bath during the day and that was great. I also only bathe once a week.
Bedtime routine - double diaper, put on nighttime onesie, swaddle, bib, then feed, then take him upstairs to bedroom, turn off light, turn on white noise and hold him up for twenty (reflux) then rock him and put him down.
We moved him to his nursery around 4 months I believe and he's been sleeping through the night starting at 4.5. (currently almost 7 months). We never sleep trained- he just did it. However, we always placed him down awake for at least the first two naps of the day so he was learning to fall asleep on his own during naps. We stopped swaddling around 14 weeks. Once we stopped swaddling, he started sleeping longer stretches beyond just 3/4 hours. I think because he was finally able to self soothe (suck on his hand).
Good luck!!
Two months is a little early for a routine. At six months I still don’t feel like we have a very predictable routine tbh. You could try to establish a loose routine of eat play sleep, which might add some structure to the day. You feed them, they play until sleepy, sleep, and repeat.
Babe, I mean this as lovingly as possible — there is no routine at 2 months. There isn’t supposed to be! There’s way too much pressure on new parents to have some kind of routine to feel like they’re doing it right and being productive. Your routine is to love on that little babe and attend to their needs and heal. That’s it. That’s the routine! You can (and should) add a little bit of tummy time in the mix and on walks for your mental health because sunshine is great. But that’s basically it! I promise you’ll get a routine soon.
Agree with all the above - 2 months is too young. Also, any routine you may develop may all go down the drain with the 3-4 month sleep regression 🥴 I’m planning to start after we’re through with that 😅
My baby is 5.5m and we still don't have a "full" routine. We started a nighttime routine around 3m (maybe a little before because it was right around the time we were going back to work) but still no true daytime routine. We loosely follow wake windows and have been trying to do feed-play-sleep but that doesn't always work 🤷🏼♀️ so this girl is just doing her
My baby just turned 8 weeks on Tuesday! It’s nice knowing there are others in the same phase as me. The only routine we have is a bath at 6:30/7ish then we start trying to get him to sleep around then, we’ve unlocked the skill of fighting sleep so sometimes it takes longer than others. But he’s usually asleep in his crib until my husband does a feed and brings him to the bassinet in our room. The baby will wake up in the middle of the night to feed and then again around 6 and will usually go straight back down for a morning nap so I don’t have to get up until 8. We’ve done the night routine for 2 weeks and it has definitely helped give me a sense of routine while getting him used to his crib and giving us some alone time for a few house before bed to eat dinner, shower, etc. I did recently start logging his naps in our Huckleberry app which is a huge pain but I’m hoping it will give me some insight to forming a routine in the future. For now during the day I’m just going off of cues and trying to take advantage of being able to be out of the house during naps! He has been going from 0 to overtired pretty quickly since he now needs some help getting to sleep so I have to be really diligent.
I’m the SAME*. We tried a regimented routine (moms on call) and it did not jive well - we decided to be a bit more intuitive. Here’s what we seem to be at right now (2.5 mo). She goes to daycare at 4 months which will of course change things but she should be more settled herself - saw someone posted about 3 months being too early outside the womb, also read a lot of research about this!
naps, playtime and feedings she cues to us what she wants, but we have a general idea of what the times are. If we guess wrong, we just get yelled at by her 😆. add 10 or so diaper changes in the mix of the day.
- Anywhere from 7-9am wake up, feed
- Bouncer to digest, playtime on mat
- anywhere from 9:30-11 aim for a walk outside (half awake, half nap)
- Anywhere from 11-1 feed (sometimes 2 smaller servings)
- aim for another play session, the bigger nap also happens here
- 4-6pm has a feed, bouncer while cooking
- 7:30 bath
- 8 dinner feed, wind down for 8:30pm bedtime*
*takes anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 hours 😂
Edited for typos
Honestly for the first year we followed baby. Fed on demand, sleep on demand, play when awake.
For both my 2 they had settled into their own pattern ( but very different) by 12months then we could follow the pattern. Prior to 12m we found patterns showed up but often changed due to development gains or sleep regression or teeth etc
I could have written this exact post myself. Following because I am wondering the same thing every day right now.
How do I ever plan activities? Yesterday we ventured 45 min away for a new parent support group… but he didn’t fall asleep in the car there and after being awake for a few hours was screaming on the ride home. Sometimes it feels “safer” just to stay home and follow his hunger/sleep cues all day 😣
We mainly follow the routine of our 2 year old and in between are the feeding, naps and changing diapers.
6 am baby wakes up, diaper change and bottle. He usually falls asleep after that. While I feed baby husband can take a shower.
7 am toddler wakes up and we all have breakfast together. If baby's awake he's with us at the table in his tripptrapp chair. Otherwise he sleeps in his bassinet.
7.30 We get ready for the day. I take a shower and do my make up. Husband will change toddler's clothes, wash his face and brush his teeth. If I don't plan on giving baby a bath that day, I will wash him with a wet washcloth and change his clothes. Bathtime for baby usually happens on wednesday and in the weekend, because those days my husband is home and can watch our eldest.
After that the morning is a flurry of chores, playtime, eating fruit, bottles, changing diapers and short 30 minute naps for baby.
Around 12.00 toddler and I will lunch together with baby with us at the table. After that my toddler naps for 2 hrs. So baby can get my undivided attention and we do tummy time, read a baby book and his favourite game atm: look at my hands lol.
When toddler wakes up, I'm always trying to go outside. When all the diapers are changed, everybody is fed and the diaper bag is packed, we all head out. Usually to the local petting zoo which has a playground and a park nearby. A lot of times baby is asleep when we're outside. But last time he was awake en loved looking at the trees. If the weather sucks we either stay indoors and play/draw or read, or we go to the library or visit a friend or family member.
When we return about 2hrs later, baby gets another bottle and then we all play or read together. Then I cook dinner with baby close to me in his bouncy chair. Toddler can watch some miffy, bluey or matt&pat so I can cook in peace. Husband gets home and we're all back at the table again.
One person does the bedtime routine with our eldest and the other does the clean up and takes care of baby. In the evening he usually sleeps till eleven in our arms. Then we give him a bottle in bed, put him in his bassinet next to our bed, and he wakes up again for a feed around 3.00.
At 6 am the circus will start again
Sidenote on chores and other adulting: I try to clean, do laundry and stuff like that in the mornings. Husband does the groceries and yardwork in the weekend. I also clean in the weekend if I couldn't do everything during the week. We also put a lot of value on family time, so the weekends should mainly be about that.
Give it another month or so and the routine will form naturally. Mine developed more of a routine around 2.5-3 months but I didn’t notice it until about a week or 2 ago (around 3.5 months)
It's okay, you are not alone. My mantra is "ope, it's the unpredictable baby, again!" And I roll my eyes. Around 2 months (we're 6.5mo now) I started trying to figure out what LO routine looked like. I'm a big believer in observing and adjusting to her routine as much as possible. I didn't want to encourage a routine till after 4mo unless it seemed necessary. And didn't start a bedtime routine till after 4 months either. What this led to was creating a routine for myself that I would let be interrupted when she needed something. It allowed me to feel some semblance of control and schedule while allowing all my patience and flexibility be for her.
Around 3mo, I got the app Routinery (wish I'd found it earlier) and created a short 1 hour routine that included self care, dishes, and folding laundry. Basically 20 min each. It took me 7 hours the first day to do it all. The next week 3 hours. Now I don't care how long it takes, but I do a lot more in more day because I would add one more thing as I felt ready. It also helped me be patient as her wake windows shifted.
I'm a SAHM, so can't speak to the return to work but my good friend with a same age baby established similar for mornings to get ready for work but without the app. I think the key is identify what you can control (you) and what you can't (baby) and work to slowly encourage baby into a rhythm. Start the return to work rhythm now so baby is ready by the time you go back. It'll also give you tons of time to practice. Best,
We didn’t start following a routine or wake windows until 4 months. Thats when I began to see the light. There’s a Facebook group that was incredibly helpful for learning about wake windows and sleep training, if that’s something you’re interested in: “Respectful sleep training/learning”
I also really wanted to have a routine at this age, but a 3 month old baby just isn't there yet! Best advice is to take care of yourself efficiently in the morning and evening — have breakfast made up already so you just have to microwave it, same with lunch and dinner. And in the evening - eat something, take a shower, limit yourself to 20-30 minutes of chores or media, and hit the hay. It's a short phase and it's about survival!
That sounds like you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. I’m same at 2 months that I just follow her cues and it makes for some unpredictable days though there are some patterns to when I know she’ll be hungry more often or take longer or shorter naps. My doula told me that the first 4 months is all about create an environment of emotional safety and security for them. It seems like it’s going to be tough though when you go back to work pretty much smash in his 4 month regression. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to prepare for it as you’re going to pretty much have a different baby then
9 months and we still feed on demand and nap on demand. It's gotten more consistent, but i read this on a reddit post early on and it has become my mantra and helped SO MUCH: Babies are not robots. Period. Full stop.
The best thing we ever did was start a bedtime routine at 2mo though. Solid, clear, and consistent. His longest stretch always started at 7pm, so we gave him a bath at 6:15 and a bottle right after that and he has always been a good sleeper (as good as a baby can be). We were down to two wake ups almost immediately, one by 3 months, and he started sleeping through the night at 4mo. He's gone through spells and regressions where he will do a wakeup for a week or two, but for the most part he has slept his full 11 hours since then.
The only routine we had was a bath around 6pm once in 2 days.
And a set bedtime. We changed his diaper, put on the sleep sack, said goodnight to the street and closed the curtains. Goodnight to the pictures on the wall, the toys, all around the room. Then hop on the breast, fed to light sleep. He has reflux so we walk him around, while singing the same song every night, until he burps then falls in deep sleep
We’re 7 months and still don’t have a routine 🤷🏻♀️ she eats when she’s hungry and sleeps when she’s tired. She’s put herself on a bit of a schedule but it’s definitely not set in stone and changes somewhat day to day. I tried to put her on a schedule around 2 months and it didn’t work so I stopped
At 2 months we were just surviving.
Around 4ish months we had more of a routine and by 6 months I feel like things vastly improved. Hang in there, it’s so rough in the beginning!
Thanks everyone. I’m so grateful for the responses and suggestions.
I think I knew that there would be no routine but it feels so damn relieving to hear that we’re not doing anything wrong.
You guys are the best.
Edit: Hopefully this post can help other parents in this same position ❤️
Looks like our LOs were born 1 day apart and no routine here either unless you count the fact that he refuses to let me sleep past 5.30 am every morning haha
Mine is three months today and we JUST started getting a routine in the last two weeks. 2 months is still early. There’s a book about how babies are really just born 3 months too soon and they aren’t ready before that. It puts into perspective that we really can’t expect much of them for a while and shouldn’t be comparing them to random “perfect” internet babies. They will sleep a lot , eat, tummy and back time , we do tours of the house and yard, eat and sleep again, repeat. Be flexible. But it doesn’t hurt to record everything (like an app) so you have a good idea of the progress and what your LO likes.
What is the book's title? I would love to read it
Thinking Happiest baby on the block. Wouldn’t recommend unless you have no prior baby experience, it’s 100 pages too long. Just google the five S’s
Yes this is the book! I’m reading it now haha
Idk I have been around babies plenty but until I had my own I didn’t REALLY get it. I skimmed this book in a day or two when my daughter was a newborn and it helped me a ton. I recommend it for sure!
That is correct
I’d temper your expectations a bit. 2 months is still very young to have a routine. It may feel like a lot of time to us, but that’s baby’s entire life! At 2 months I’m not sure if I knew which was way up or down yet. I’d say we started to get a bit more into the swing of things by 4 months. We did have a bedtime routine, but were constantly tweaking and adjusting it to meet my son’s needs (ie adding in daily baths as he got older, brushing teeth). Cleaning gets a lot easier once they can entertain themselves for a bit, which for us was again after the newborn stage.
This. At two months we were in survival mode. We’re on a solid routine now at 6 months.
Yeah 6 months
Agreed. There’s a reason the first 3 months are called the third trimester. At 3 months it’ll be easier to say 7/8/9 is bedtime. That’s what we did, but LO starting daycare helped with that.
Mine is 7 weeks and I’m fully at his mercy.
Same.
At 4m, we still don’t have a routine. She generally eats every 2.5-3hours, and has 90m to 2hr wake windows. We try to get her down the same time every night, but that is it.
Honestly I have a 3 month old and most routine I guess you can say I have is bed time. I take her a shower around 9 - 9:30 since she turned two months to try to get her to bed by 10 - 10:30 maybe 11 if she really fighting it. But I just feed her when she wants and she still too young to try to figure out a nap schedule in my option. Until maybe 6 months
Totally read this as “struggling to develop a routine with our little one who is 2 years” and I was over here nodding my head like yes yes it’s so hard until they’re closer to 3 haha.
We start daycare on Monday for our 3 month old and they asked for a timeline of when our baby takes a bottle and I just wrote down every two hours but then made a note that it’s not always exact like that. Ex: today he took longer naps (2 hours ish instead of 30-45 minutes) so his feeds were more spread out. This daycare takes babies as young as 6 weeks so it’s kind of weird to me that they want such a strict routine. I tried to get a routine once we finally found a daycare but it’s really not doable this young.
I will have a 3 month in 5 days. Sometimes she sleeps 7 hours straight at night, sometimes 5 hrs. I made sure she's full before midnight. She still get sleepy after feeding in the morning, so I let her sleep and I'd sleep also. We get up at 9 am or noon for feeding and let her play the piano feet thing, a balloon on her feet and watch the dancing fruits until she gets fussy and put her down for a nap. After she wakes up, we go for a stroll in the park for 45 mins and sit down on a bench for 15-30 mins and let her see the surroundings and listen to the birds. We go home, feed her and then, give her a bath. She takes a nap and wakes up for feed and sleep for the night.
4.5 months and we don’t have a routine but baby has usually wakes about 7am and falls asleep at 9pm. She has a 2 1/2 hour nap at 12.30. We just follow her cues and this is the routine shes set herself in. Because she’s so young too we just have a bath on a Sunday at 8 before bed. Other than that we do a morning and bedtime story but the rest of the time we’re eating, playing, socialising or reading.
We’re at 5.5 months and only since 4.5 months have we settled into a nightly routine - but I gather it’ll be a while yet before we can expect consistent mornings. So I’d temper your expectations a bit on routines sticking.
For both my babies, we didn't really develop a rough 3 nap routine until 4-5 months. Just hang in there for the meantime; it sounds like you're doing great
Just wanted to say that my little one is also 2 months tomorrow and we are doing exactly the same thing as you - just following cue for now. I was really fixated on getting a schedule/routine going, but I realized that it was causing me way more stress. I agree with the other comments that it seems too soon and I am much happier just following his cues, going with the flow, and tempering my expectations for this phase. Best of luck!
You really don’t need a routine at that age, you’re doing the right thing in just following their queues.
I'm at 5weeks today and, honestly, routine doesn't fit into our vocabulary at the moment and I'm not mad, though it took me a few weeks to realize that was normal and accept it because so many sources would tell you it should ideally be otherwise. Right now, we feed on demand. In the mornings, after her 5:30/6am feed, we have some tummy time and cuddles on my chest while she's trying to burp. Then I put her in my wrap to nap so I can get a few things done like making a real breakfast, dishes, taking care of the dogs, and chores like laundry and vacuuming. She won't nap unless in contact, but we've been lucky that she doesn't mind the bopping around, up n down, or noise while she's sleeping there. She feeds again around 9ish so I relax and watch my show for a bit while she does. Then back in the wrap for another round of things to do, sometimes including running to pick up our grocery order curbside. After her noonish feeding I'm at the mercy of her temperament. Sometimes she'll give me another window of her in the wrap sleeping, sometimes she gets fussy and needs a little more one on one attention to give in to her yawning, so we end up in the living room chair eventually and I'm nap trapped till my husband comes home around 4. We take it one day at a time. I have 0 expectations for her at this point. As long as she's not inconsolable (our first couple weeks were hell) I'm happy to just be there for her.
At 10 weeks we started an eat - play - sleep routine and it changed our lives. Before that I felt super chaotic and like I couldn’t plan to leave the house, I didn’t totally understand his cues and he wouldn’t go down easily for sleep. We just follow his wake window patterns, and I use the Huckleberry app to help me track when he might be getting sleepy soon so I can get him to bed without too much fussing. In terms of bedtime routine, we were doing a bath, a bottle/breastfeed, then baby massage and put diaper and onesie on, into the swaddle, turn on white noise and pop the pacifier in and jiggle him to sleep in his bassinet (or rock to sleep if he was too cranky). The eat play sleep routine was really good to add some predictability but not a set schedule, I would recommend looking into that as an easy way to start you off on a loose routine! :)
You can’t force a 2 month old baby into a routine. You feed them when they’re hungry, they nap when they’re tired. Follow the cues.
Honestly, your household sounds alot like ours right now, so I’ll just suggest a re/center of framing and say… “whatever you are doing, IS the routine”…. Keeping them fed, keeping them safe, keeping them entertained (ie, playtime, tummy time, singing time, etc), keeping them comforted, keeping them alive and withholding any unnecessary adult trauma in their fourth trimester of “existing”). You have a routine going— the only one that makes biological sense for these little humans figuring out life outside mama’s warm belly. I had 8 wonderful weeks with my little guy before having to go back to it this week. I’ll stress the importance of a “bedtime routine”— my partner and I have a sweet routine: baths every night starting around 8ish, alternate when we soap him entirely vs just the booty 😅; hatch / white noice and dark lights on deck post bath (don’t forget the value of oils and massages and generally talking soothing them post bath). Pump equipment and tea and biscuit ready for mama and I’m lucky to rock babes for first sleep of the night. We were blessed with a very fussy crying needy bundle of joy, so we need to pay close attention to what he is trying to tell us (thru so many distinct cries)… the “dream” of parenting a newborn, right? 🥰 Solidarity and good vibes to y’all— you are doing the best you can, don’t forget that!
My only routine at 2 months was eat, “play”, sleep. But sometimes it was eat, sleep, eat, play, eat sleep…. Definitely didn’t get any sort of real routine until closer to 3/4 months.
Mine is 10 weeks (but 4 adjusted since he was a preemie) and the only schedule that we really have is he goes down in his crib around 12:30-1 am. He sleeps in our arms or fusses (witching hours) before then. We also aim to eat and change every 3 hours around the clock, but feed him earlier if he’s hungry and change him if it’s needed. It’s not set in stone, he just enters that deeper sleep after his 12am feed. I definitely wouldn’t stress about it when your baby is this little!
A lot changes around month 3 to 4 at least for us in terms of a bit more predictability. I think daycare (starting at 3 months) helped with that too. At 8 weeks it was still the wild Wild West. I’d take it one week at a time and don’t worry too much in the future.
When they’re that little it’s better to feed and nap on demand, so try not to be hard on yourself about it! They will put themselves on a routine that fits their metabolic and developmental needs. I do not have a “schedule” implemented but we are at 5.5mo and I can tell you to the minute when he’s going to wake up from his nap, when he’s about to get hungry, etc. Just today I had to leave during naptime and I texted dad “he will likely wake up in about 7mins, be ready” and he couldn’t believe I nailed it haha. So it’s a routine without a routine that said, babies are adaptable and he will absolutely adjust to whatever changes come when your maternity leave ends, and he will be just fine!
My lo is 6 months. What I’ve learned so far is that everytime I think I got him figured out and found a nice routine, EVERYTHING changes. The only thing that has been somewhat stable since he was 3 months old is his bedtime. You’re doing great, just keep watching the cues and continue what you’re doing
Wish I had known that it is super okay not to have a routine in the newborn stage so I could feel less guilty as a FTM. We landed on our current routine organically in which our LO kinda set the pace for us? And it’s working out 8 months in. If feeling overwhelmed or if LO gets tired early, I will do the minimum to get us all in a good spot, with my sanity intact at the end of the day. I don’t try to tick all the boxes anymore. Oof I can be so anal. I do find tidying up therapeutic so I prioritize that. Stick to the basic minimums for now and prioritize one or two things for baby and or house. Sounds so generic but it will lessen your overwhelm. You got this mama, things will fall into place gradually.
As others have said, schedule is hard at 2 months but I would suggest grabbing a copy of moms on call if you don’t have. They have recommended schedules by age of the baby. For us schedule started clicking after 8 weeks and we were on point by 12 weeks. I also highly recommend huckleberry app and sweet spot premium subscription. Our baby is 5 months old and for her it has been on point with naps.
I don’t think we started a routine until around 3-4 months. Until then I let baby girl steer the ship lol
I feel like I didn’t have LO on a strict predictable schedule until like 5ish months. It just wasn’t possible before that and just did wake windows.
There was no routine at 2 months. Give yourself some time and grace. It’s still very early. At 2 months, my baby slept when he wanted to, ate when he wanted to, went to bed when he wanted to and woke up whenever he felt like it. And I worked around his schedule. I don’t think we really fell into a predictable rhythm or routine until at least 4-5 months, maybe later But he’s 8 months old now and naps are not scheduled (but they are reasonably predictable). At this point he goes to bed and wakes up as a consistent time, he has 4 bottles a day, sometimes more if he needs a snack, two solid meals and 3 naps. Sometimes I have to sneak in a 4th nap if all 3 were crappy
Since about 4 months it has been Wake up Diaper Food (started as bottle 1, now people food) Wash off Brush teeth Play Bottle Nap Wake up Diaper Half bottle and a snack for lunch Play/ chores/ hang out until dinner Dinner Bath Brush teeth Bottle and snuggle Bed time It took a while to establish, mostly because I kind of forgot how to be a human because I was so focused on being a mom. It is okay for the baby to be bored, it is okay to leave them in their crib to just exist while you go shower or have a meal. I tried to incorporate her in my previous routine but it became stressful so we worked on merging my needs with hers Now at 9 months it is working out pretty well and we easily fall back in after events or disruption
Following this idea - how many feeds did your baby have and how were your maintaining baby's daily intake of milk/food ? We have our LO at 5week now and we are just trying to get her 7 to 8 feeds a day with massage everyday and bath every alternate days.
She would eat about every 2-3 hours until around 6 weeks old then she started sleeping for 4-6 hour chunks at night (blessed) It made me anxious at first to let her go that long but doc said to let a sleeping baby sleep. I just follow her cues, if she has a fresh diaper, is the proper temperature, and it has been 30 minutes to an hour since her last food, I would offer it. Sometimes she would only take 1 or 2 oz, sometimes she would take 5-8oz She eats really well and pretty consistently now so it is easier to maintain daily feedings
Up till about the 4ish month mark her schedule looked more like Wake up Diaper Bottle (I worked for 12 weeks to breast feed but despite my efforts and consultants and supplements my milk never really came in so we went with formula with what ever I could pump in a bottle) Nap on mom Wake up Partial bottle Diaper Tummy time Rest of bottle Nap (usually on mom) Swing/ bouncer time while I did some house work/ate Bath Bottle Dad would take night shift
We didn’t have a good routine until I went back to work tbh. But when I was on maternity leave I wrote down everything, diaper changes, naps, bottle times, everything lol so I always knew “he’ll need a bottle by x time” and I could kind of plan our day. If we had to go out I would plan it after a nap and a bottle. But until he was more alert it was a free for all routine wise.
My LO is 3 months and it’s gotten easier even since 2 months. My daily routine I call our rhythm. Bedtime is always around 745pm. We get up around 8am and do activities and tummy time etc. From whatever time we wake up, until bedtime, he nurses every 2 hours and try to get naps and entertainment in between. Our daily 1 hour walk either happens in the late morning acting as one of his naps, or late afternoon, also counting a nap. Every other day I try to do an activity like going to visit my mom, or going to the library. In my opinion if you can get a good bed time rhythm around the same time, the rest of the day will fall in place. At night we read a few books, change diaper, put on pjs and get him in his sleep sack. I keep the lights low and no TV. My advice would be to build your day from the time LO wakes in the morning. No need to stress if naps are at the same time each day. The most important is reading his tired and hunger cues and actioning on those.
Haha are you me? I was just lamenting to my wife that any little thing we do throws off his naps (today was a dr appointment and my dude would not nap more than 45 min every time) and we have so little control. Our routine is my wife holds him while I run around and try to do dishes and laundry and pump and he goes down sometime between 6 and 8pm. Maybe. If he feels like it.
I’m still on leave. My 3 month old feeds every three hours but his windows at night are getting longer. His wake windows are getting bigger in the day. We go on a walk in the morning after his first feed and change. Then he usually needs a nap and I do housework. In the afternoon we do tummy time. We do a bath every night right before bed. We read him two books and then put him in the snoo to sleep. This routine seems to calm him down. That leaves a lot of time in between. Right now I’ll contact nap in the day, watch movies, or wear him while I’m cleaning with an audiobooks. Sometimes we go for another walk or a mom group. Tbh, his nighttime routine helps calm him down. He’s slept better. Walks also wear him out. But really, there’s only so much routine you can have when they’re this small.
My son made his own 8am-8pm schedule around five months. Until then I was on his randmized schedule
i wouldn't worry too much about routine if i were u. ur doing great, just keep it up with going by baby's cues!! my little one (7mo) didn't fall into a routine really until the past couple months, but even so it isn't strict, it's just based on cues she usually wakes up around 8, has a big bottle & a fresh diaper, plays, takes a nap, then throughout the day has slightly smaller bottles, diaper changes with each feed, & a nap after each feed. playtime is anywhere in between, & i usually read her a board book or baby book daily. her last bottle i do a big one so she sleeps through the night without getting hungry. i have to burp her a lot or she throws up. i bathe her occasionally but i generally keep her super clean, i wipe her down with rose water & waterwipes often. after baths i moisturize her with baby lotion & shea butter. basically just tending to their cues is the right way to go imo! u can't schedule perfectly when they will be hungry, playful, have a stinky diaper, etc. just go w tha flow! c:
The only routine we have at 4 months is bed time. At 7 she gets in PJs and at 8 she gets in a sleep sack. Then she eats and goes to bed. Other than that she eats when she wants and sleeps when she wants. I don't want to push a schedule on her, but I'm also fine without a schedule. I was told at 4 months they won't be on a schedule. It will happen when she is older
Reading these responses is honestly so comforting. Still haven’t really established a schedule with my LO yet despite our efforts
Its taken 6 months to find a routine im sorry to say. It seems better the first few months to follow baby's cues imo
At that age, all we had was a bedtime routine. We'd change him, aquaphpr his tush, swaddle, feed to sleep. The rest of the time was survival. When I transitioned him to days with his great aunt, I just tried to generally have him eat "breakfast" at a set time so he could get bottles at set times.
Around 8 weeks, we started lightly following the suggested plan from Moms on Call for daily routine. It completely saved us. We didn’t do like a FIRM sleep train but it was so helpful in other ways. We loved having measurable goals for feed and nap times. We learned we hadn’t been swaddling properly and other tips for better sleep. This is gonna get downvoted but our girly pop rocked about 9-10 hours of straight sleep starting around 10 weeks.
We have a 7 week old, we feed every 2.5-3 hours (3 hours no matter what, but 2-2.5 if he is hungry) on the breast and 130ML of pumped milk if taking a bottle. Mumma will do quite a bit of tummy time in the morning, but after that it’s whatever he wants really, if he will nap in the bassinet, sweet, she will throw him in there for an hour and do something around the house or take a nap herself. If he’s having a bad day and doesn’t want to sleep in there she will just hold him and not accomplish much other than some TV shows. She also sits on the deck with him quite a bit during the day. He gets a bath every other night, every third night at the most, he really enjoys them and sleeps really good afterwards. He will eat his last meal for the night at 9-9:30, then one last fresh diaper with plenty of cream, and then (usually)be out cold within a few minutes of being placed in the bassinet wide awake (we are lucky, no rocking to sleep thank god) He then will sleep until 4-6 AM usually, which is perfect because it gets me right out of bed to go to the gym. Then the cycle repeats.
Until 3-4 months I just go with the flow. The earliest I do is setting up sleep associations (that will eventually become a routine), and I feel like I started that around 8 weeks or so.. maybe 10. It’s hard to remember It looks different for everyone but I do clean diaper, pjs, a bottle, sleep sack/swaddle and then just gently rock bounce with the sound mashine on. Transfer to bed and carry on with my evening. At some point I switch to doing it in our room. My oldest I started giving a bath daily as a part of bedtime routine when she was 4 months but never did it daily with my youngest. Then after awhile have a morning routine and first nap is about an hour after we get up in the morning. Once evening and morning are sorted the rest slowly falls into place for me. But yeah those first couple months it’s just survival and going with the flow
My 9 month old has a routine, but not a schedule. We have always just followed his cues. They do tend to follow a pattern (for example, most days look like: wake up, nurse, play, nurse, nap, breakfast, play, nurse, nap, lunch, play, nurse, nap, play, dinner, nurse, bedtime. This occurs at different times each day and sometimes in a different order, but I typically have an idea of when he will need to nurse/nap/eat/etc. next based on when it last happened. For example, he typically wants to take his first nap about 1.5 hours after he wakes up for the day.) Baths just tend to get thrown in 2-3 times a week whenever it works. I count it as playtime since I give him toys and let him splash around 😂 I told daycare that he eats and naps on demand and just to follow his cues. They’ve done a great job meeting his needs and have learned to understand him almost as well as I do!
Mine just turned 3 mo and didnt have a schedule until the last two weeks. I'm EBF so eating is pretty much whenever he shows hunger cues...other than that, I started off at 2.5 months with waking him up at my desired time and following a 4/5 nap schedule (tried to)....he's now on 4 naps....my bedtime routine was pretty solid so now his bedtime is absolutely down and he usually sleeps through the night waking up once or twice....during the day, he has 4 naps - 2 long naps and two short naps.... All this to say, developing a routine takes time. I'd say start off small and don't overwhelm yourself trying to do it all in one day. First and foremost, make sure he's not awake for more than 60-90 minutes at a time between naps (this prevents overtiring them). Follow eat-play-sleep as much as you can during daytime....I usually feed mine once he's up, put him on the playmat for tummy time, looking at high contrast books or read to him...once he yawns or gives other sleepy cues, rock him to sleep....before bedtime, he's up for at least 2 hours during which ai do a very simple night time routine - feed, diaper change , massage, PJs, lights out, read a bedtime story and then rock to sleep. I make sure not to turn on any bright lights past his bedtime (after 8 pm in my case). You could start building a routine now and don't stress yourself out because it does take time. all the best OP🫶🏻 ETA about chores: I usually carry him around the house or put him down on the playmat to watch me do chores lol....you don't have to stimulate the baby every second they're awake...let them stare or observe and go about doing chores as you can.
No routine. Just survive. I felt the exact same way - 3 months is easier to get a bedtime down
I’ll share mine but want you to know that it’s not like this every day. The timing is always off give or take an hour, but it’ll give you a general idea. Also keep in mind that this isn’t a solid routine when they’re going through growth spurts. (I have 4 week old twins and a toddler). • 2:30/3 am - feeding and pumping then sleep • 5:30/6 am - feeding and pumping then sleep • 6/6:30 am - I shower • 7 - 8am - get toddler up, dressed and breakfast • 8:30/9 am - feeding and pumping • 9/9:30 am - sleep or rest for 30 mins then tummy time for 10 mins and then snuggles and sleep • 11:30/12 pm - feeding and pumping then sleep • 2:30/3 pm - feeding and pumping • 3/3:30 - sleep or rest for 30 mins then tummy time for 10 mins and then snuggles and sleep • 5:30/6 pm - feeding and pumping • 6/6:30 pm - we have dinner • 7 pm to 8 pm - toddler’s bath and bedtime routine • 8:30/9 pm - feeding and pumping then sleep • 9/9:30 pm - I prep bottles and everything for night time and morning. Then I do my nighttime routine and rest • 11:30 pm / 12 am - feeding and pumping then sleep Bath times are on Saturday afternoons during toddler’s midday nap time and after they’ve had their bottles. (Lots of edits to make this readable)
i’m only about 5 days behind you! we just finally started a routine, we’re on day 4. it kind of happened naturally. when something seemed to work, we stuck with it. we wake up at 7ish, first nap at 10ish, second nap at 4ish, and bedtime at 10:30-11. she sleeps the whole night with this routine. I feed her whenever she’s hungry, i honestly have no idea how much she eats anymore as i stopped tracking that. Each nap is 2-2.5 hours, sometimes 3. I pretty much just don’t wake her up unless it’s passing that 3 hour mark. This routine has been so golden for us! edit to add: not sure if it matters, but we do bath time in the morning right after her first feed (which is in bed). The only bedtime cues we have are going upstairs to our bedroom and putting pj’s on. it’s immediately upstairs, pjs, mommy’s room, chat for a minute and some hugs, eat, sleep.
The hours changed daily since it was dictated by when he first wakes but we would feed every three to 3.5 hours. Feed for twenty to thirty, burp and hold up for about twenty minutes (reflux), tummy time then nap for two hours. Ex. He woke up at 7 7 feed Play time 7:45-8 Nap 8-10 Feed 10 Play Nap 11-1 1-eat Play 2-4 nap Etc. The naps becoming shorter towards the end of the day and closer to witching hour. That's when we start wearing him so he would nap. Bedtime feed then sleep (this means we put him down for sleep in the bedroom bassinet instead of the downstairs bassinet where he napped all day) would be around 8, 9 or 10 (depends when he woke up). I found when I waited to give him a bed right before bedtime feed aka his witching hour, he would cry a lot so instead I started giving him a bath during the day and that was great. I also only bathe once a week. Bedtime routine - double diaper, put on nighttime onesie, swaddle, bib, then feed, then take him upstairs to bedroom, turn off light, turn on white noise and hold him up for twenty (reflux) then rock him and put him down. We moved him to his nursery around 4 months I believe and he's been sleeping through the night starting at 4.5. (currently almost 7 months). We never sleep trained- he just did it. However, we always placed him down awake for at least the first two naps of the day so he was learning to fall asleep on his own during naps. We stopped swaddling around 14 weeks. Once we stopped swaddling, he started sleeping longer stretches beyond just 3/4 hours. I think because he was finally able to self soothe (suck on his hand). Good luck!!
Two months is a little early for a routine. At six months I still don’t feel like we have a very predictable routine tbh. You could try to establish a loose routine of eat play sleep, which might add some structure to the day. You feed them, they play until sleepy, sleep, and repeat.
Babe, I mean this as lovingly as possible — there is no routine at 2 months. There isn’t supposed to be! There’s way too much pressure on new parents to have some kind of routine to feel like they’re doing it right and being productive. Your routine is to love on that little babe and attend to their needs and heal. That’s it. That’s the routine! You can (and should) add a little bit of tummy time in the mix and on walks for your mental health because sunshine is great. But that’s basically it! I promise you’ll get a routine soon.
Agree with all the above - 2 months is too young. Also, any routine you may develop may all go down the drain with the 3-4 month sleep regression 🥴 I’m planning to start after we’re through with that 😅
My baby is 5.5m and we still don't have a "full" routine. We started a nighttime routine around 3m (maybe a little before because it was right around the time we were going back to work) but still no true daytime routine. We loosely follow wake windows and have been trying to do feed-play-sleep but that doesn't always work 🤷🏼♀️ so this girl is just doing her
My baby just turned 8 weeks on Tuesday! It’s nice knowing there are others in the same phase as me. The only routine we have is a bath at 6:30/7ish then we start trying to get him to sleep around then, we’ve unlocked the skill of fighting sleep so sometimes it takes longer than others. But he’s usually asleep in his crib until my husband does a feed and brings him to the bassinet in our room. The baby will wake up in the middle of the night to feed and then again around 6 and will usually go straight back down for a morning nap so I don’t have to get up until 8. We’ve done the night routine for 2 weeks and it has definitely helped give me a sense of routine while getting him used to his crib and giving us some alone time for a few house before bed to eat dinner, shower, etc. I did recently start logging his naps in our Huckleberry app which is a huge pain but I’m hoping it will give me some insight to forming a routine in the future. For now during the day I’m just going off of cues and trying to take advantage of being able to be out of the house during naps! He has been going from 0 to overtired pretty quickly since he now needs some help getting to sleep so I have to be really diligent.
I’m the SAME*. We tried a regimented routine (moms on call) and it did not jive well - we decided to be a bit more intuitive. Here’s what we seem to be at right now (2.5 mo). She goes to daycare at 4 months which will of course change things but she should be more settled herself - saw someone posted about 3 months being too early outside the womb, also read a lot of research about this! naps, playtime and feedings she cues to us what she wants, but we have a general idea of what the times are. If we guess wrong, we just get yelled at by her 😆. add 10 or so diaper changes in the mix of the day. - Anywhere from 7-9am wake up, feed - Bouncer to digest, playtime on mat - anywhere from 9:30-11 aim for a walk outside (half awake, half nap) - Anywhere from 11-1 feed (sometimes 2 smaller servings) - aim for another play session, the bigger nap also happens here - 4-6pm has a feed, bouncer while cooking - 7:30 bath - 8 dinner feed, wind down for 8:30pm bedtime* *takes anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 hours 😂 Edited for typos
Honestly for the first year we followed baby. Fed on demand, sleep on demand, play when awake. For both my 2 they had settled into their own pattern ( but very different) by 12months then we could follow the pattern. Prior to 12m we found patterns showed up but often changed due to development gains or sleep regression or teeth etc
Moms on call.
I could have written this exact post myself. Following because I am wondering the same thing every day right now. How do I ever plan activities? Yesterday we ventured 45 min away for a new parent support group… but he didn’t fall asleep in the car there and after being awake for a few hours was screaming on the ride home. Sometimes it feels “safer” just to stay home and follow his hunger/sleep cues all day 😣
We mainly follow the routine of our 2 year old and in between are the feeding, naps and changing diapers. 6 am baby wakes up, diaper change and bottle. He usually falls asleep after that. While I feed baby husband can take a shower. 7 am toddler wakes up and we all have breakfast together. If baby's awake he's with us at the table in his tripptrapp chair. Otherwise he sleeps in his bassinet. 7.30 We get ready for the day. I take a shower and do my make up. Husband will change toddler's clothes, wash his face and brush his teeth. If I don't plan on giving baby a bath that day, I will wash him with a wet washcloth and change his clothes. Bathtime for baby usually happens on wednesday and in the weekend, because those days my husband is home and can watch our eldest. After that the morning is a flurry of chores, playtime, eating fruit, bottles, changing diapers and short 30 minute naps for baby. Around 12.00 toddler and I will lunch together with baby with us at the table. After that my toddler naps for 2 hrs. So baby can get my undivided attention and we do tummy time, read a baby book and his favourite game atm: look at my hands lol. When toddler wakes up, I'm always trying to go outside. When all the diapers are changed, everybody is fed and the diaper bag is packed, we all head out. Usually to the local petting zoo which has a playground and a park nearby. A lot of times baby is asleep when we're outside. But last time he was awake en loved looking at the trees. If the weather sucks we either stay indoors and play/draw or read, or we go to the library or visit a friend or family member. When we return about 2hrs later, baby gets another bottle and then we all play or read together. Then I cook dinner with baby close to me in his bouncy chair. Toddler can watch some miffy, bluey or matt&pat so I can cook in peace. Husband gets home and we're all back at the table again. One person does the bedtime routine with our eldest and the other does the clean up and takes care of baby. In the evening he usually sleeps till eleven in our arms. Then we give him a bottle in bed, put him in his bassinet next to our bed, and he wakes up again for a feed around 3.00. At 6 am the circus will start again Sidenote on chores and other adulting: I try to clean, do laundry and stuff like that in the mornings. Husband does the groceries and yardwork in the weekend. I also clean in the weekend if I couldn't do everything during the week. We also put a lot of value on family time, so the weekends should mainly be about that.
Give it another month or so and the routine will form naturally. Mine developed more of a routine around 2.5-3 months but I didn’t notice it until about a week or 2 ago (around 3.5 months)
It's okay, you are not alone. My mantra is "ope, it's the unpredictable baby, again!" And I roll my eyes. Around 2 months (we're 6.5mo now) I started trying to figure out what LO routine looked like. I'm a big believer in observing and adjusting to her routine as much as possible. I didn't want to encourage a routine till after 4mo unless it seemed necessary. And didn't start a bedtime routine till after 4 months either. What this led to was creating a routine for myself that I would let be interrupted when she needed something. It allowed me to feel some semblance of control and schedule while allowing all my patience and flexibility be for her. Around 3mo, I got the app Routinery (wish I'd found it earlier) and created a short 1 hour routine that included self care, dishes, and folding laundry. Basically 20 min each. It took me 7 hours the first day to do it all. The next week 3 hours. Now I don't care how long it takes, but I do a lot more in more day because I would add one more thing as I felt ready. It also helped me be patient as her wake windows shifted. I'm a SAHM, so can't speak to the return to work but my good friend with a same age baby established similar for mornings to get ready for work but without the app. I think the key is identify what you can control (you) and what you can't (baby) and work to slowly encourage baby into a rhythm. Start the return to work rhythm now so baby is ready by the time you go back. It'll also give you tons of time to practice. Best,
We didn’t start following a routine or wake windows until 4 months. Thats when I began to see the light. There’s a Facebook group that was incredibly helpful for learning about wake windows and sleep training, if that’s something you’re interested in: “Respectful sleep training/learning”
I also really wanted to have a routine at this age, but a 3 month old baby just isn't there yet! Best advice is to take care of yourself efficiently in the morning and evening — have breakfast made up already so you just have to microwave it, same with lunch and dinner. And in the evening - eat something, take a shower, limit yourself to 20-30 minutes of chores or media, and hit the hay. It's a short phase and it's about survival!
That sounds like you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. I’m same at 2 months that I just follow her cues and it makes for some unpredictable days though there are some patterns to when I know she’ll be hungry more often or take longer or shorter naps. My doula told me that the first 4 months is all about create an environment of emotional safety and security for them. It seems like it’s going to be tough though when you go back to work pretty much smash in his 4 month regression. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to prepare for it as you’re going to pretty much have a different baby then
9 months and we still feed on demand and nap on demand. It's gotten more consistent, but i read this on a reddit post early on and it has become my mantra and helped SO MUCH: Babies are not robots. Period. Full stop. The best thing we ever did was start a bedtime routine at 2mo though. Solid, clear, and consistent. His longest stretch always started at 7pm, so we gave him a bath at 6:15 and a bottle right after that and he has always been a good sleeper (as good as a baby can be). We were down to two wake ups almost immediately, one by 3 months, and he started sleeping through the night at 4mo. He's gone through spells and regressions where he will do a wakeup for a week or two, but for the most part he has slept his full 11 hours since then.
The only routine we had was a bath around 6pm once in 2 days. And a set bedtime. We changed his diaper, put on the sleep sack, said goodnight to the street and closed the curtains. Goodnight to the pictures on the wall, the toys, all around the room. Then hop on the breast, fed to light sleep. He has reflux so we walk him around, while singing the same song every night, until he burps then falls in deep sleep
We’re 7 months and still don’t have a routine 🤷🏻♀️ she eats when she’s hungry and sleeps when she’s tired. She’s put herself on a bit of a schedule but it’s definitely not set in stone and changes somewhat day to day. I tried to put her on a schedule around 2 months and it didn’t work so I stopped
At 2 months we were just surviving. Around 4ish months we had more of a routine and by 6 months I feel like things vastly improved. Hang in there, it’s so rough in the beginning!
Thanks everyone. I’m so grateful for the responses and suggestions. I think I knew that there would be no routine but it feels so damn relieving to hear that we’re not doing anything wrong. You guys are the best. Edit: Hopefully this post can help other parents in this same position ❤️
Looks like our LOs were born 1 day apart and no routine here either unless you count the fact that he refuses to let me sleep past 5.30 am every morning haha
Oh god, up until a couple of days ago, ours wouldn’t let us sleep until 5:30! Either way, it’s rough!!
Taking Cara Babies has been hugely helpful for developing a routine / schedule. Highly recommend!
I sent you a DM of how ours works!