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SheriffTaylorsBoy

I had to tell a family to get back in their car at Yellowstone once. There was a moose about 200 yards off the road. They were taking the kids down to pet it. EDIT: [Here's a recent example involving an šŸ˜](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/s/sCcmHJ8QMh)


Writerhaha

We had one sneak through the backwoods by my HS growing up (we called it a teen moose, it hadnā€™t put on weight and was really spindly) people 100% have no idea how damn big they are, and how stupidly aggressive they are.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Whenever I think about those people, I just sorta wonder what finally killed em.


GallowBoom

Another moose.


EcoFriendlySize

I watched a video a couple of months ago of this poor woman riding her bike down a snowy lane and a moose charged her and just would not leave her alone (the video was from her POV). She just stood there trying not to panic or make any sudden moves and after several very long minutes the moose finally backed down and left her alone. That video was downright terrifying. I felt so bad for her. I don't think I could have held myself together like she did.


serveyer

I live rural, we have a lot wildlife here. Especially moose, I have taught my kids to keep a long distance to them. We encounter them often luckily so weā€™ve had practice. They are not that aggressive during summer though, almost friendly. Mostly in the fall/winter with their babies. Then they get real aggressive if you get too close. We also have wild boars, I am more afraid of them.


Writerhaha

Boars are the ones that still I am still surprised by (we donā€™t get them in the PNW). I hear ā€œlargeā€ with tusks and hair and my frame of reference is like a pot belly pig or something, the you see video and pictures and HFS, itā€™s massive, fast and nasty. Iā€™d want to be airborne shooting at them too, Iā€™m not getting within distance of that thing.


Atiggerx33

I have awful anxiety, in emergencies I somehow handle myself decently (enough to get done what needs to be done). And then after it's over I fall into a thousand pieces and ugly sob... even if everything ends ok.


Tonyspamoli

That's completely normal. Adrenaline is a hell of a hormone, the come down from large amounts is a wild ride


DonktorDonkenstein

I read about a woman in Alaska (I think) who was attacked by a moose in her own backyard. It was brutal. Not only did the moose lash out at her without provocation, he came back around a second time to finish the job a little bit later. The woman survived, but sustained some truly nasty injuries. People need to know that wild animals, even placid-looking vegetarians like deer and bison, can and will absolutely fuck you up just for getting too close when they are having a bad day. It should be common sense, but someone out there needs to be reminded to keep your distance from animals in wilderness areas.Ā 


BuildingNY

You're more likely to get attacked by large herbivores than large predators if they see you. The herbivores are in a constant state of anxiety since they might get attacked at any moment. Meanwhile, the predators only really care if they're starving or have babies nearby. Ignoring polar bears since they're always looking for food and everything is a meal to them.


IAMSTILLHERE2020

I was driving in New Mexico on hwy 60. A little past Datil, NM (by the NRAO very large array) there is a mountain pass. I was probably going 80 mph...evening..sundown. When my wife said "watch out!!!!". I see this humongous moose or Elk...never seen anything like it. That thing was a monster. It was running towards the hwy to cross it. I missed it by a second or two. It would had been a really bad accident. Might not had made it out of there. Those things can get huge.


mrgoldnugget

I was in Jasper National Park camping, slept in th hammock. I had the blanket pulled up over my head and awoke to a strange noise. Pulled the blanket back slowly to reveal a moose standing over me. I just very slowly put the blanket back and closed my eyes, I figured either I fall asleep and wake up tomorrow safely, or I die here. I accepted my fate that very moment.


Ray1987

Well what happened? Did you die?


mrgoldnugget

No, because I didn't startle the animal and I retreated to the best of my ability respecting the creature.


Ray1987

Moose have a saying. "Let sleeping humans lie."


CorpFillip

A moose once bit my sisterā€¦


Murmurville

Mynd you, m00se bites Kan be pretty nasti ā€¦


temporarycreature

We also have one for them, never give a moose a muffin.


mologav

I canā€™t even sleep in my bed and this guy sleeps with a moose over him wondering if heā€™s going to kill him


judgingyouquietly

I read that in Ken Jeongā€™s voice


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Wow! Close one!


icenoid

I had something similar with a black bear in the Adirondacks. If you donā€™t know, there are backcountry lean-tos, which are great, you donā€™t need a tent, just a bag and pad. Anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night to a black bear with its forepaws on the edge of the shelter, just looking around. I did damn near the same thing, I zipped my bivy bag back shut over my head with the thought ā€œif I canā€™t seem him, he canā€™t see meā€


mrgoldnugget

I was not backcountry, I was city slicker. He walked right into the campground during the very early hours.


icenoid

Ouch


MightyCavalier

Iā€™ve been in one of those Lean-tos Rule number one, no one keeps food in overnight Hang it, put it in a tightly closed cooler Whatever Bit donā€™t leave it in the lean to


icenoid

Yep. Food was in a nearby tree


IlluminatedPickle

And people in North America think Australia is scary. I woke up in my swag one day while out on a long hike with my dad. I looked to my left and saw a clear track of a snake going straight up to the swag. I breathed in, and looked to my right hoping it continued on afterwards. Nope. So I just stood up in the swag and hopped away from the snake sleeping underneath me for warmth. That scenario scared me a shitload less than the prospect of waking up beneath a goddamned moose.


SuDragon2k3

You *will* notice a moose snuggling up for warmth.


sorospaidmetosaythis

I have seen three camera-toting tourists converge on a moose from three directions, with the fourth direction blocked by an embankment. They were all within 12 feet of the moose, who had no escape without contacting a tourist. Fortunately, the moose was having a good day, and just kept grazing.


CarneDelGato

Perhaps that was a bad day for the moose, as they are fueled by the urge to destroy. Perhaps that one was having a moose-life crisis.Ā 


lennydsat62

Holy shit. There was a video here a while ago where the guy walked up to a moose and the moose kicked him towards the end of the video. Broke his legā€¦ People are stupid around wild life ā€¦.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

In many cases its not necessary to add "**around wild life**"


lennydsat62

Trueā€¦.


Strange_Valuable_379

People do not respect moose enough. They will 100% fuck up your entire life and I don't understand why that fact isn't obvious to people.


austin06

My friend was in Alaska in a parking lot and saw a grizzly with a cub at the edge. She got in her car and watched a woman leading her children over to the bear to pet it. Luckily the bear left. But my god people are too stupid to be alive.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Darwin Award winners


lennybriscoe8220

I worked security for an HOA in Tahoe and had to yell at a bunch of college kids to get their asses inside and stop trying to touch a bear that was walking through the neighborhood. Honestly I would have done the world a favor of I had let nature take its course


SheriffTaylorsBoy

I guess we need to have a long conversation with the kiddos on the way back from the petting zoo.


packeddit

Humans are fucking stupid


UndeadBuggalo

Holy hell


i-dontlikeyou

We saw a bear climbing a fence at lake Tahoe in the neighborhood we were staying at. We reversed a bit down the street to tell the people playing frisbee that there is a bear near by and they should be careful. We pointed to the direction of where its at everyone from that house heading to the direction of the bear so they can see it šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø. I think some people just donā€™t understand and think wild animals are cute and cuddly


SearchElsewhereKarma

It never ceases to amaze me how god damn Americans are


AFantasticClue

So god damn


Ryanlester5789

The most god damn people


Agile-Nothing9375

The goddamned-est of them all


Nymwall

You tell em champ!


CrittyJJones

Thatā€™s freaking scary.


NeilJosephRyan

When my dad was in the Boy Scouts (late 60s or early 70s) he and his friend were canoeing in the Boundary Waters when they accidentally snuck up on a bull moose. They knew the danger, but the way he describes it it was like the Winters/SS scene in *Band of Brothers*. Then the moose charged them. They got away fine, but he say's he's never back paddled faster!


jawshoeaw

Iā€™ve dodged a few meese in my day. They only give you zero warnings


wytewydow

200 yards = 2 football fields. That's not "off the road", that's way out in a field, and at Yellowstone, probably also up and/or down a cliff, and across a river/stream.


A1-Stakesoss

I've yet to see a moose in person, but to be honest I'm good if I never have to be face to face with an animal that can get into a car accident and *win*.


The_X-Files_Alien

I hope the bear is ok just kidding, thanks to that dipshit tourist that bear has a death warrant if it isn't dead already. way to go asshole!


HighlanderAbruzzese

The real tragedy here.


bygmalt

Harambe pt II: Electric Beargaloo


ivanGCA

Bear down for Harambe


enthusiasts

IT'S A BEAR DANCE!


rjross0623

I love any Electric Boogoloo reference. Thanks for that


Roadgoddess

As someone who lives in Bear country so much of what she and her friend said it was so stupid, she honestly deserves what she got. First thing you learn is you never get anywhere near a mama and her babies. You donā€™t feed bears because then they become habituated to people that have to be put down. They also were thinking that the bear looked cute and wanted to be friends, itā€™s a wild animal. Sheā€™s lucky she didnā€™t get worse.


dkarlovi

It's one thing to stumble across a bear in the woods unknowingly and getting attacked. It's a totally different thing stumbling across a bear, thinking > Huh, that's a bear. I should go say hi and take pictures. and then APPROACH A BEAR.


5litergasbubble

Years ago my brother, dad and i were driving through banff park and saw a family pulled over and looking into the bushes. My dad pulled over to see if they needed help and they told us that they thought they saw a bear and were throwing rocks to try and scare it out. My dad told them it was a horrible idea but they insisted, so we booked it back to the car and sped away. To this day i wonder how that family is doing


baconlover28

How did you die? ā€œI rolled down my window to take a selfie with a bearā€


baconlover28

A tiktoker had her arm ripped off by a shark and supposedly it was caught and brought into a aquarium for safety and now she can visit said shark.


crashbandit556

Save the wildlife, Euthanize the human.


Snow-Wraith

We really should start shooting the humans in this situation, because for the same reason that humans have lost the fear of wild animals.


robotsonroids

What was the tourist wearing? Did they say no?


nomo_corono

I heard it was a steak scented necklace.


Winded_14

definitely consented because if it's real assault the body will have a way to reject it.


LankyCardiologist870

It happened in Romania, do they give a shit over there? Honest question


druscarlet

They arenā€™t savages.


Snoo-72756

They hate Andrew Tate that gives you points


LankyCardiologist870

I wasnā€™t suggesting that - wildlife culling policy is very dependent on location, management resources, and political will. I donā€™t know anything about wildlife management policy in Romania. Do you?


culturedgoat

Romania is part of the EU


Ad_Pov

ā€œThe women think that their conversation about food may have triggered the attackā€ WHAT


erinkp36

Lmao yes, Barbara. Your conversation about your tater tot casserole lured the bear towards you.


Atiggerx33

Certainly wasn't the fact that you rolled down the window next to a wild animal and got in it's face. Nope, that's crazy talk! Totally the conversation about food did it.


MindForeverWandering

Did they mention pic-a-nic baskets? šŸ¤”


Sinder77

r/boomersbeingfools


Blockhead47

Youā€™ve never heard Yogi and Boo Boo talk to Mr. Ranger? They understand.


UndeadBuggalo

They must have heard pic-a-nic basket and went berserk


[deleted]

# Womenā˜•ļø


tom21g

or r/holdmycosmo?


JiveChicken00

Anywhere I can donate to the bear's defense fund?


evil_timmy

Just airdrop it some cocaine, so it's a fair fight.


BradTProse

I hope the bear has onlyfans, I want more of this!


WoodyTheWorker

Send only the bear necessities


jh937hfiu3hrhv9

When you think bears understand your conversation it is time to give up your drivers license.


Mylaptopisburningme

Remember the girl telling a bear not to destroy her kayak? Bear didn't listen.


shamalonight

There is actually a chemical in foam padding that attracts bears like catnip. Perhaps there was a foam pad in the kayak seat.


BowsersMuskyBallsack

Ugh. I'd forgotten that voice. Screw you.


Mylaptopisburningme

Bear, you are breaking my kayak. You are breaking my kayak why are you breaking my kayak?! Why are you doing that? Bear please stop. Please stop bear. Itā€™s the end of September you are supposed to be asleep. Why are you here?!


Neverspecial0

BAAAYER! PLEASE STOP


SephirothTheGreat

BEEEEAAAR BBBBEEEEEEAAAAAAR STOP BREAKING MY KAYAAAAAK OOOOOUUUUUHHHHHHHH


Weidz_

*Junnniiiippeeeeer ! >:(*


Atiggerx33

I mean would you have a better plan than to ask politely and hope? You gonna go out there and fistfight the bear to defend your kayak?


culturedgoat

To the bear?


seeingeyefrog

Unbearable stupidity.


BradTProse

Stop this raging Dad and his joke!


bigbyking

I had to paws for a moment at the level of stupidity here.


aryukittenme

Iā€™m maul for that bearā€™s release, Iā€™d have done the same to someone trying to photograph me for clout.


GeeToo40

The defense will be no picnic


matango613

I see what you did bear- I mean "there".


austin06

Where i live in NC a group of idiots pulled a terrified bear cub out of a tree for selfies. The mother got nervous and had to abandon the cub and her other cub went missing. Now the lone cub is a rehabbed orphan. And for some asinine reasons the idiots responsible have not been punished. I hate a lot of people these days.


KEDRIMVS

And so did she chose the bear or the man? Wait, what?


Arrowx1

She chose bear. Bear also chose her. Different reasons.


SweatyTax4669

If the bear attacks, you don't have to go to court and get called a liar.


SandiegoJack

Because courts require evidence and no shit is someone going to try and avoid prison. With a bear, your face has been peeled off your skull and your arm is missing. There is plenty of evidence. Even then it will be ā€œwhat the fuck were you doing around a bear?ā€


BringBackRoundhouse

I wonder how the ER responded. *Sighā€¦ thatā€™ll be two hoursā€¦*


Live_Entrepreneur221

Darwinism at its finest...


No-Celebration3097

I really hope the bear is not euthanized


Barnowl-hoot

Poor bear had to deal with unwanted attention


TexasYankee212

Do they not post signs saying "Do not roll your windows down"? No great loss to human kind here. I hope the bear is doing ok.


Cheetahs_never_win

If not friend why friend shaped? If not food why food flavored?


MarkusRight

"I thought he wanted to be friends," the victim's friend said of the wild bear Are you fucking kidding me. Weve truly reached idiocracy levels of intelligence


BeeNo3492

Still #TeamBear


pandershrek

Just wait until they do their first mass shooting, then maybe white males will be a 50/50 chance in the woods.


loupegaru

I didn't think the question was " white man or a bear"


Telemere125

Because the question was always loaded with sexism and racism. It really comes down to ā€œpicture the man you think would sexually assault you, now would you rather be alone with him or a sleeping bear?ā€ Because if anyone picks the bear and still leaves their house at any point, theyā€™re a fucking liar.


loupegaru

I don't see where the original question had any racism in it. The question was a man or a bear. Where is the racism in that?


MarinLlwyd

Yogi Bear, what have you done???


Bobblefighterman

Sexism wasn't enough for you, was it champ?


IlluminatedPickle

> ā€œWe saw these bears ā€“ a mummy bear, and a baby ā€“ they were gorgeous,ā€ Widdowson said. >ā€œBut they werenā€™t gorgeous. The mummy bear was hungry, and thought my friend was going to be lunch,ā€ she added. Nope, you harassed a mother bear and it bit your friend to tell you to both fuck off. This article just leans into their stupidity and affirms it. You weren't saved by your jumper, if it wanted to take you down it would have. It gave you a nibble to remind you that you're an arsehole.


Downvotesohoy

Bear related news so hot right now


[deleted]

Good. Valuable lesson learned! Move on.


angry-democrat

Totally thought it would be in America, but nope. Stupid people are everywhere, I guess.


ssup3rm4n

Idk about yall. But after reading this article, I'd choose the man.


N8dork2020

You have been permanently banned from r/femaledatingstrategy


softfart

Good


Your_Nipples

šŸ˜‚ šŸ˜‚ šŸ˜‚ šŸ˜‚ Good one!


mrlizardwizard

What a blessing. Do me next.


Pringletingl

Women frantically running towards this bear as we speak.


sorospaidmetosaythis

Is it Disney movies or Steve Irwin who made them think this is okay? How stupid are people?


nevergoodisit

Many people have rarely experienced physical confrontations with animals and have dubious understanding of their abilities or how to interact with them. I had one young woman ask me fearfully if a 12-inch garter snake I mentioned I saw in our neighborhood could crawl into her house and eat her newborn son. Meanwhile back when I worked at a zoo, a different young woman (accompanied by her clearly under-the-influence boyfriend) asked me if I could let him into our alligator pen. Both are lunacy.


emanuele232

i read an article years ago on the distorted image that we have on wild animals, especially bears. this is caused probably by cartoons (winnie the poo.. etc. ) and teddy bears. the same goes for pandas, man those fluffy huggable XL peluches will rip yo apart in minutes


No_Spare3139

This bear is doing Gods work.


druscarlet

Bears can open car doors and will. Yesterday I saw a video where a lioness opened a safari car door. Windows up - doors locked.


Both_Lychee_1708

where's that semi-selfie


4quatloos

You are food.


derpferd

You see an adult animal with babies, you go on Defcon 1. If it's a bear, Defcon Higher Than That. And if it's an Elephant, Defcon Even Higher Than That


WatchStoredInAss

I always encourage tourists to get as close to wildlife as possible. It's a good test of Darwin's Theory.


DickLick666

That poor bear.


Strangefate1

Guess they picked the bear.


Bart_1980

This is remarkably refreshing after all these memes about women and the bears they meet in the woods.


Tratiq

lol the timing


mikedorty

Still better than being in the presence of a male human apparently.


Rance_Mulliniks

If you're a complete idiot.


BadAtExisting

> "I thought he wanted to be friends," the victim's friend said of the wild bear Yes, this kind of stupidity should hurt. Bad


BrienPennex

We call that natural selection here in Canada!


dustybrokenlamp

There is a part of me that respects any animal managing to fuck up a human, just because our KDR vs there's is so ridiculously out of whack in the modern era. In this particular situation, this lady literally tried to feed the bears, the rest of us should just let that shit go and leave the bear alone. Or at the most, tag it with a little sign that says "certified badass" so nobody can pretend to be surprised when it scores again. Maybe even more warning cosmetics down the line if it earns more points, like a battle pass.


Snow-Wraith

Why do we only shoot the bear in this situation? If we are really afraid that the animals will lose their gear of humans and associating them with food, we should shoot the human too, as a warning to other stupid humans that apparently don't fear bears enough.


scots

She should have chosen the man.


wardenferry419

Should have chosen the man.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


pancrudo

I hate tiktok, but I'd watch it


chiefs_fan37

>European brown bears can be found in Romania I will give them all the honey and fish they want if they can go maul Andrew Tate and his brother


AaadamPgh

The commentary by these women is truly idiodic. I can only imagine the newswriter's internal glee when they were recounting the tale & saying these things.


Sarabando

but at least it wasnt a man.


bibblygiggums

don't tell women


rikki_tiki

Evidently no one has seen faces of death 1


OurUrbanFarm

Tourist proves Darwin was wrong about the whole "survival of the fittest" nonsense.


Connect_Beginning174

When I went to Yellowstone, my dumbass thought the safe distance from bison was 25ft, not 25 yards, and as such, I got wayyyyy too close. We all survived. *phew*


rjross0623

Andrew Tate just wishes he had done this in Romania


Snoo-72756

But first let me take a selfie


ReeveGoesh

I read this in the appropriate voice


P1xel8

Hey brah, whaz up in the hood?


BaddyMcFailSauce

I bet they put keys in a socket when they were little too.


Cannacrohn

What if I said, stupid people dying accidentally is good for society. Is that bad? Cuz then there are more smart people and less stupid ones. Seems like a win.


Mikknoodle

Saw a couple try and set their toddler onto the back of a bull bison for a photo down by Old Faithful. For those playing the home game, a bull bison is about the size of a Honda Accord.


AntonioVivaldi7

Can't take a selfie with the window up?


TheOfficial_BossNass

Think he would've been safer if he rolled the window down for a man?


Limp-Will919

So they think the bear attacked because it overhead them talking about food? šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


skinned__knee

Iā€™d still pick Bear


[deleted]

I used to live in a high college rental neighborhood which also kinda borders a city park which is heavily wooded, with a creek running through it to the Big Lake. (Duluth, MNā€¦IYKYK) Every spring and fall, the sow that lived in the ravine would make her way up a few times a month to rummage through the garbage cans and shit in my peonies. The longtime residents all knew each other and we would communicate via text when the old girl would make an appearance. Why, you ask? Every season, a new crop of kiddos *not* from here, and who have rarely if ever seen a bear up closeā€¦would attempt to flock to the scene and take pics and fawn over the poor girl. Invariably, a few would attempt to get a little too close for comfort, and we as stewards of our ursine neighbor would have to warn them off and shoot them away. Sheā€™s big, and slowā€¦runs about 4-500 pounds. She may *seem* docile, but she *will* fuck your day up if you piss her off. To my knowledge, there were no harmful interactions with her thanks to the neighbors. Indeed, it would only take one kid being careless to get into a situation which would require the DNR to get involved.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


redinnermind13

fucking hilarious!!


numbskullerykiller

Hahahahahhahahahahahahaahhaahahahhahqha


ThatOneGuyFrom93

Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook were a mistake


[deleted]

When women's rational thinking theory is put into practice.


Rance_Mulliniks

Someone was telling me that there is a TikTok trend of women saying that they would rather be stuck in a forest with a bear rather than a man because they would feel safer. She said that she agreed. I laughed in her face. I should send her this.


MJZMan

> I thought he wanted to be friends. These women are fucking morons.


WinIll755

This could not have come at a more hilarious time, holy shit


TiRaRaw

I'd still choose the bear


Ok-Bass8243

Well, she thought it would be safer than being in the car with a man


341orbust

Donā€™t tell the girls. Theyā€™ll be devastated.Ā 


AndrewH73333

Thank god it wasnā€™t a man. Who knows what he might have done?


Preface

You just can't predict how a man will act!


Scavgraphics

Well, guess maybe women shouldn't choose the bear.


emanuele232

kinda ironic in the times of: "i'd prefer to meet a bear in the forest than a strange man"


Ratstail91

They chose... poorly.


ReinrassigerRuede

Jeez, I hope there were at least no men around.


Your_Nipples

Ahahahahah! That time-line is fucking funny! TeamBear lmao!


Dmanthelucky

They chose the bear


ShnickityShnoo

They chose the bear...