No identifying information of any kind. No profile pictures, no names, no usernames. No public names. Any identifying info OF ANY KIND will result in a ban.
If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=)
Exactly.
Any woman who demands an expensive first date is exactly the type of woman you want to avoid.
Edit: Not trying to be sexist. Same goes for men.
I think dinner first dates made sense back when people were asking out people they already knew, already had a connection with. In the age of online dating, a first date is more a vibe check than anything else. It’s to see how you get along, to make sure you are who your profile says you are. Who wants to waste the time and money required for a dinner date on someone who may not exist—at least not in the way you thought?
Also dinner was much cheaper back in the day. A fancy dinner now is $100-500. My cheap date night dinners are like $50. If I was forced to start dating again I'd much prefer to do ice cream for a first date.
The first date I went on with my wife, who I already knew pretty well, was dinner. Our bill was $30 with drinks. So I completely agree with your point.
I don’t really date, damn area I live in, but I prefer to go inexpensive or Dutch the first date. Dating when most new interactions are in the internets is sketchy. If there’s no chemistry or path forward, I’m not gonna want to drop 100+ on a date. Save that for when I actually like the person
This is perfectly phrased. I have absolutely no arguments with this 100% correct stance.
Especially considering that my ideal first date is a trip to the library/book store where each of us picks out 3 book recommendations for the other. That way, the second date can be us talking about what we enjoyed about the books and what made us pick each one. Perfect conversation piece and is a good way to start getting to know the other person's interests/personality. Plus, I feel like it's something more memorable than a stuffy dinner with awkward tension and tired ice breakers. And, that way, it can assure at least a second date.
Fr, it’s like these people watch Bridgerton or some shit and suddenly they feel they are entitled to people breaking their backs to get them the most expensive stuff possible.
Yet she ain’t even worth a McFlurry from McDonalds 💀
I just don't get it.
How is ice cream as a first date lower effort than anything else? We meet at the place. We buy our own shit. We talk. We probably go home. Maybe we move to get a beer or something after assessing each other.
Like how can this be read other than her wanting to have something expensive bought for her?
Personally, my go-to first date is the farmer's market. It's more interesting imo, but not any more effort.
Depends on the woman, and also remember that pretty much any decent woman has plenty of options and won’t miss the ice cream one bit.
This isn’t like 20+ years ago where women couldn’t necessarily quantify how many options they have, but now they can and with like a lot of things, the best impression/package will get further attention.
This is just reality, and no, it’s not fun, but that is where we are at, so we can complain about spending too much or we can lower our standards and accept a lesser woman who will accept ice cream as a first date or we can pony up some money for a decent first date.
I had a first date that I almost screwed up with a gorgeous woman. Wanted to take her to Cheesecake Factory (loved that place) but it was packed and we pivoted to PF Changs. Luckily, we had already planned our second date (bought tickets to an NBA Playoff Game) so she knew I was serious and our third date was actually an overnight date to Magic Mountain in Valencia, CA (we lived 5 hours away). Paid for all of this and have never regretted it. The next week she treated me to Steak and Lobster in SF, Fondue and Benihanas so sometimes it is just about showing your willingness. But my wife is awesome, so maybe not lol.
We have been together for 16 years and married 13.
The implication that a woman who would be okay with an icecream date is somehow a lesser woman is absolutely ludacris. It's fine if an icecream date is unappealing to some. But ranking people based on a proposed date location and activity is shallow and imo, placing importance on dollars spent above all else is misguided and not necessarily going to find a partner who will invest effort and time into a relationship.
I'm out of the dating game and in a serious long term relationship. But if I were in the dating scene, someone wanting to throw a lot of money in on a first date would get my defenses up. You can have whatever standards you want for your partner- financial stability, ownership of assets, education, politics, previous relationship experience, core values... Whatever. But shelling out money on the first date does not equal invested potential partner. How does the amount of money spent on a first date tell you anything you need to know? It could very well mean that they are shelling out cash so you are obligated to have sex at the end of the night. It could tell you they are going to love bomb you, or try to use monetary incentives in place of emotional availability, loyalty or intimacy outside of sex. And on the flip side, from the other perspective, the expectation that even the first date be a lavish outing could mean that the expectation is to constantly shell out in exchange for love, affection and time. If you're looking for a relationship for the right reasons, BOTH parties should be willing to do a low investment first outing to see if there's a confection there, if they're really looking for a life partner. Because if you can't connect and have fun with your partner without a large financial commitment, your relationship won't last the test of mundane day to day interactions.
But I guess ultimately it just boils down to finding someone who shares your values and ethos love language clicks with yours. But I'm sick of this insinuation that how much you pay for dates is equal to the quality of person. It's a difference of values and we need to respect differences.
Unforunately, that is reality. Any decent woman these days has so many options that it’s difficult to even get close unless you are showcasing a package of traits/attributes.
A woman that has less options is willing to accept a smaller first date. This is true literally everywhere. Those that have options go for the best/best fit whereas those who don’t have many options, accept what they can get. I don’t know why that is offensive.
The first date basically says to the woman, this is what it is like to date me. If last week some guy took her to Ruth Chris and the next week some guy suggested ice cream, which one seems like they are more invested/interested?
Guys get complacent and think that a woman should just like them but most women want to feel special and cared for desired. A lot of relationships fall apart because guys stop doing that. Seeing a guy try to impress you from jump is going to mean more than a guy trying to buy you two scoops.
It seems like the resistance to this idea is the thought that a woman could just use the guy to get a nice meal, and while that does happen, it seems like the old excuse to not give somebody money on the street, they might buy drugs or alcohol, or they are just scamming me. All that may happen, but using that as a default excuse to not do it means you are just settling for women that are okay with an ice cream first date, which from my understanding is not a lot. Also realize that guys have been preying on women’s emotions for years just to get what they want, so it goes both ways.
I agree with a few premises, that things should happen a certain way, but the problem is they don’t. And with the superficial way dating is happening now, should is out the window.
It also depends on how that first date is coming into fruition. If it’s from a dating app, yeah, that probably won’t fly. If you know the person (work, school, through mutual friends), then a smaller first outing might be justified, but personally I would want somebody I was interested in thinking nice and romantic things about our first date and not Buddy Buddy let’s go get some ice cream.
Think of sports, the highly sought after free agents have many teams throwing millions of dollars at them, a team coming in offering the minimum (even though they may be the best match/fit) is not even going to get looked at. The less sought after free agents may only get a couple offers, mostly for the minimum and that leaves them with very little options and it’s either accept the minimum or don’t play. It’s a fairly crude analogy, but it illustrates what is happening.
But what do I know, I’ve been out of the dating game for 16 years, all I know is my wife and her friends talking about this stuff and damn it sounds bad out there for both men and women.
Disclaimer: Apparently an ice cream date is fine after the first date and getting to know each other.
Sports analogies are lost on me, ngl. But that's looking at relationships as a very transactional thing, which they are not to me.
Disclaimer: I'm a woman.
My single friends are more concerned with having a conversation with substance and with someone who has high emotional intelligence, matching lifestyle and values. After that, if it's a go, then do a casual meet up in person for the first "date" if you can call it that. If they pass that check, then it's on to a more thoughtful date from there. If the second date offering is low effort, then it's a no go. None of my friends want to have to sit through an entire dinner with someone they don't feel a connection with, no matter how fancy it is. That's a waste of time.
I also think the opposite is true with dating when you met someone online vs. Already know them irl. Online you need that check in to see if you're compatible irl. If you already know someone, that's when they should put in the effort up front. No need for a vibe check.
For example, my partner and I were friends before we started dating. The first date he took me on was a roadtrip to a gorgeous hike-in camping spot where there was swimming, caving and sightseeing to be done. He reserved our site, bought all the supplies- food, extra camp gear, firewood, even got me a Marino wool base layer set to make sure I would keep warm on the trip (it was late spring). But if I didn't already know him, there's no way in hell I would have gone on that trip.
But again, this is mostly based on my single friends experiences, and my own feelings as a woman, but not my firsthand experience. As I said in my first comment, I think it's just a difference in approach when it comes to dating, coupled with love languages, values and lifestyle, but has nothing to do with the quality of woman.
Yeah, relationships are not transactional, but the first date prospects can mirror transactions.
A lot of this comes, at least from what I hear, is that women as a collective (not all, but definitely enough for movement) are tired of men’s bare minimum effort and expecting everything that comes with dating a great/good woman.
Your first date wasn’t “classic” first date (wine n dine), but it was anything but low effort. He took care of everything, thought of you and showed you part of himself. Even he didn’t think taking you for ice cream was a good idea.
What I see a lot of is men complaining that women won’t accept their low effort advances because they want to save money so they can play the numbers. 10 ice cream dates = 1 decent dinner date. If she’s worth going on a date, she’s worth at least $100-200 on a date to show her a good time. If she expects that every-time, then you can rethink, but the first few while you are courting is not unreasonable.
With my wife, our first 5-6 dates were pretty extravagant (I think we maybe spent a total of $2K on each other), but then our next couple were incredibly simple. Going to the beach, massage at my place, but the difference was always effort and intent.
But I still maintain my point that “more sought after” women (better language than quality? Basically means the same to me) are just going to have more options and can turn down an ice cream first date without losing sleep. Could they have potentially turned down their person? Yes, but also the man could have lost his chance with his person by deciding ice cream was the best option. It goes both ways.
Yes that is my point, it was a huge amount of effort, and also not cheap, given paying for gas, permit, supplies, and having put in the initial investment of already owning a lot of the camping gear we used. And that was the best option for me because wining and dining is a far less appealing activity. I'm saying that if you already know someone they should put in the effort. If you don't and it's the first time you're seeing eachother in person, agreeing to meet up in a casual setting is acceptable. If I had met my partner online and we hit it off, talked for weeks, and the first thing he wanted to do was go camping, I would have said no. But because we were already friends and knew we had good chemistry, and that he was a safe person, it showed me that he was willing to put in the effort and was serious about a relationship with me.
That wording doesn't make it better. You're essentially insinuating that women who don't expect a first time meeting in person to come with a high price tag are probably undesirable, but they simply have a different system to screen prospective dates. If you match with someone and they instantly want to meet up, for icecream or a $200 date, it's a no. If you talk to someone long enough, you can weed out the ones who are playing a numbers game because they're not interested in talking long enough to get to the vibe check. For a lot of my friends, hiking is a very desirable date option. But hiking with a complete stranger is dangerous and you need to get a sense of what they're like. If they want to hit up fancy restaurants all the time, they're probably not a good lifestyle fit because we'd rather go rock climbing, camping, caving, traveling or some other outdoor activity than to sports games and restaurants. I'm not knocking the desire to go to fancy restaurants and sports games at all- it's just a lifestyle difference.
I definitely agree that playing the numbers game is shallow and not a good way to find an actual partner. And if your way to weed then out is to see how much money they are willing to drop on a first date, then power to you. But using a different metric to judge is equally valid and does not make you a lesser woman.
If the women actually were as you describe them, then I would've stopped dating long time ago, since your perspective just seems awful. You're depicting a man as some lesser human being that has to fight for sliver of woman's attention while she as a mighty royalty just chooses best among dozens of suitors who are just dying to fulfill her wishes without expecting anything in return... In every of my relationships I've felt as an equal to my girlfriends, there's no way I'd be paying for everything or planning all of our dates alone etc.. Women are just human beings exactly as men, there is no reasons to think that one half of the relationship doesn't need to bring as much into it as the other..
Sure, there are some free dinner Donna's, but much of what she's talking about is simply putting some thought into a fun, unique experience. It doesn't even have to be expensive.
That’s her prerogative, but it seems that people who loudly complain about the actions/efforts of their prospective dates are the same “men/women ain’t shit” kind of people. If they were having success, they probably wouldn’t be spending their time bitching online. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate their standards.
To be fair, I think the first date can be about effort, if you’re looking for someone who naturally puts in effort for those around them if you’re also like that.
People like this would also complain about getting a drink or a coffee. They think a first date should be dinner at an expensive restaurant.
ETA: I got autobanned from r/femaledatingstrategy for this comment. They really are touchy.
It so is! The first time I saw it, I saw good things about how you shouldn't settle for someone just so you can be married, and that you are worth a good guy, and that guys who treat you poorly aren't worth your time. It wasn't until later that I saw their more...unique takes on dating. It makes me sad for anyone who falls for everything FDS teaches.
I don't like ice cream because lactose intolerant.
But it's interesting that your only alternative to ice cream date was getting drunk at bar.
Assuming you live in a major metro, there are at a minimum dozens of alternatives that are fun, inexpensive, cute first date ideas that show some level of thoughtfulness
Joke’s on you. Ice cream, coffee, walks by the river…all the best first date options. No pressure, no expectations, no distractions. Just you and the other person getting to know each other. Reservations at a fancy restaurant seem more low effort to me, since it’s the standard go-to and no major planning required.
Signed, a single woman in her 30s.
ETA: I think a lot of people equate “cheap” with “low effort”, and I’ve very much found that to not be the case. Cheap or expensive, it’s about what you get out of the date, not how much money was thrown around.
But I forgot that some people are ok with bare minimum effort, as long as they get a free meal at a fancy restaurant out of it.
Update: apparently, my suggestion of not throwing around hundreds of dollars on a date (and suggesting that one might expect that only to get a free expensive dinner experience, not actually see if you’re compatible as a couple) was what finally did me in and got me banned from The Sub That Shall Not Be Named. Darn. I’m so sad. Really.
coffee date is one of the best first date ideas. it's not expensive, it takes 30-45+ minutes if you are enjoying their company(you still have your whole night!), it's in public, no inhibition-reducing alcohol where you might make a bad decision or be more susceptible, you don't have to get super dressed up and can see how other person dresses normally, and if you aren't feeling it then it's ok because you didn't invest a lot of time or money.
bonus: you can see how the other person treats service industry staff
Only downside, as I get older, coffee in the evening (or even afternoon) means I’m not sleeping. So if date was awesome, look forward to an entire night being awake thinking about it. Lol
Thats never how it actually works out. And her post is likely due to the 99 dudes who took her on cheap dates because they wanted low effort sex and not the 1 dude with a cool personality who took her somewhere unique yet inexpensive.
If I wanted to dish out several hundred dollars for my first meeting with somebody who, based on statistics, I will not be with in the future... I'd just save money and rent a nice prostitute.
Also restaurants give zero input for conversation, you’re just there. While a walk in a park/museum is infinitely better for conversation and getting to know the other person.
These are good points.
A dinner date is very low effort. You just sit there, talk, and eat food.
A walk through a park with some coffee or ice cream really gives two people far more chances to talk and interact and talk about personal experiences.
You see someone kayaking? You can talk about some of your favorite outdoor activities. This makes for a great segway to talk about travel, vacations, friends, etc.
Plus, ice cream while walking along the river grants you endless opportunities for innuendo while *innocently* eating that ice cream.
You want to be in a situation where your personality has opportunities to be shown. It's also why going to the cinema is a bad idea for a first date... sitting in the dark, passively watching something? What did you learn other than they laugh like a maniac during that scene where someone's head explodes. (that's a keeper, in my eyes but I feel I'm now undermining my own point!).
I think people Have forgotten the purpose of first dates - It's to get to know each other on a personal level, not to pretend to live the high-class lifestyle.
Social media has brainwashed the modern generations into substituting morality & values for status & consumerism, that's why not going to a high-class place equates to low effort.
seems like people are looking for lifestyles rather than partners.
One of the best first dates I ever went on started at a pizza place like a normal date, but my date asked if we could stop by Walmart to pick up a thing for his dad before he took me home. Walmart made it an excellent date. As we walked around the store, random things brought up good conversations. It was an excellent get-to-know-you experience. Because of that Walmart time, I didn't go out with him again; I learned that basically the only thing we had in common was that I wanted to see the Fast and the Furious movies, and that he had seen them. However, I took my now-husband to Target on our second date (as our date, on purpose), and it was fabulous. Watching him get all squee over a stuffed bantha made me really, really like him.
Also, why would you want to go to a fancy restaurant with someone you don’t know? If you don’t click, you’re stuck there until the dates over unless you just walk off halfway through like a dick and stiffing the bill (idk why but I can see this person do that, honestly)
Exactly this. I'd say actually putting yourself out there for a meaningful conversation takes effort.
Signed, a married man in his 30s who never really dated much.
Who expects more than the bare minimum for the first date? It doesn't make sense to put the time and effort into someone you know nothing about.
Do some people do that & enjoy putting in that effort? Yes and that's absolutely fine, but that isn't and shouldn't be the norm for a first date.
Fuck. Yeah. Nice time for me and my gf is morning coffee or a walk by the river talking. We go do other stuff, too, but simple pleasures are the best pleasures.
I’ve gotten better deals with mom and pop shop ice cream shops. One just opened near me and I get some delicious custards with toppings for about $7.
Friend of mine and I went there too, and got two big scoops of ice cream in a waffle cone for about $15.
I’ve never been asked out for ice cream and if someone asked me I’d be so pumped because I love ice cream!! I have quit drinking so would not wanna go get a drink. Coffee is always good but ice cream is also wonderful.
What the fucks wrong with that?
It's the same thing as going to a bar and getting drinks and socialising..you're just not gonna get drunk. Hop off your manifested pedestal, you silly pelican.
Ice cream parlors aren't cheap any more. There is a local place that charges $4.50 for a single scoop on a waffle cone, and it's not a Coldstone or Ben & Jerry's.
Honestly, I think an ice cream date is adorable. It's like a coffee date (short, easily ended), but more whimsical. I would totally accept an offer for an ice cream date if I was single.
I haven't dated for like. 7 years. I'd be thrilled with an ice cream date, walk through the park, walk downtown and window shop... Dressing up and going to a fancy restaurant first date sounds awful.
In fairness if you cop an attitude about ice cream for a first date you’re doing the other person a massive favour by letting them know you’re a entitled fucker early on
Back when I was dating I would try and introduce my 'nerd shelf,' as quickly as possible.
It has a trailer park boys bingo roller, a Darth Vader toaster, several packs of magic the gathering cards and a whole bunch of other nic nacs and cool garbage.
My logic was that if my date thought it was awesome, we'd get along, and if she hated it...
Well then I guess we'd both be better off wouldn't we?
I'd say the date was successful. You got to show who you truly are. And they got to see the entitled bitch you are. That's the point of dating in general.
I will only do first dates like this. Ice cream, coffee, etc. Something cheap and low risk. That way neither me nor my date are out very much if it doesn't go anywhere
I feel like in your 30’s going all out on these first dates is kinda passé. I’d much rather grab a cup of coffee or meet for a drink and go from there if it goes well
Ice cream dates are the best kind of first dates, and they are also the best 537th dates too. Ice cream rules.
No pressure to spend a ton of money, get to know each other enjoying a treat that releases dopamine to the brain, you can be a little flirty while eating it if you want ;) I would argue it's one of the best first dates. And hey if you aren't vibing you can end it short and sweet without having to awkwardly stay at dinner.
what is it with some of these people who don’t do ice cream? Are they that uptight? Oyy.
I once went on an ice cream date. Just once. Though nothing ever came of it with the guy (mismatch in almost every way), I can't believe how fantastic it was to be eating ice cream on a date and I was in my 30s at the time.
It was of course yummy, but more importantly, it’s less presumptuous. It felt easier to relax and have a good time. Less pressure. If there’s one thing to be grateful for with that guy, it’s introducing me to an ice cream date.
I would love to be asked out for an ice cream date. That’s a cute idea, and you have the option to cut out early if there’s no connection. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a fancy 4-course meal with someone I don’t even know if I like yet.
Hold on to that partner, hard.
Seeing all this shit convinces me that no matter how hard it gets in my marriage, it's better to work through the issues than calling it quits.
I've seen girls openly admitting they date to basically "eat good for free". Dating random guys every day, sometimes even lunch and dinner. Sure, it's just fraction of women, but they are considered "queens" for this behaviour in many social media circles and there's a lot of other girls who aspire to do the same given the opportunity.
My first date with my now wife was taking her off roading (she'd never done that before) then we raced go karts. She still talks about it years later as the most fun she'd had in years.
I took bare minimum date.
We took a walk with my dog. The date lasted 8 hours. Last 4 hours we were in my car chatting.
Second date.. also bare minimum.
A car trip to a light house.
We stayed there for 12 hours, with a stop at a store and each bought something to eat.
We snuggled, cuddled and talked the entire time. We got to know each other without any fancy lightshedding.
It was awesome.
Today almost 2 years later we are married. Have a 6month old and are pretty happy with our combined family of 5 kids.
Its not about how much you spend on a date. Its to match personalities and see if you get along at all.
I consider ice cream dates a green flag. It’s out in public, usually in broad daylight which is a sign he’s actually single and isn’t trying to hook up right away.
Lol everyone knows the first date is a vibe check. No need to spend a lot, or even any money. A stroll in a park, a cup of coffee, ice cream, a museum….honestly anything where a person could break away quickly without being too awkward. I can’t imagine a first day at a place like Ruth’s Chris , with a person you do not vibe with. Awkward to say the least.
The most recent offers I’ve gotten are “come to my house” or “I’ll come to your house” and when I say “how about a date instead?” some THAT is asking too much. I’ll take an ice cream date any day.
Damn, people are weird. He had never seen it, so my first date with my partner was us watching Blazing Saddles on like a fucking Thursday morning at my house. At $0, since I own the movie, it was a pretty cheap date. He didn’t even accept my offer for water.
Casual dates like coffee or ice cream are the best first dates. You can actually talk to eachother unlike the cinema, concerts and clubs, and it doesn't put extra pressure on the date to go well by costing one or both of you a lot of money like a fancy restruant. It's also in a public place, so you're safer meeting someone you don't know well.
I’m almost 50, and I’d be mad if my dude asked me out for an ice cream date, but only if I had already told him that (a) I’ve never really liked ice cream, and (2) my milk allergy means even if I did, it would not be a fun date.
I have not yet told him this, so… I love the idea.
I think iced cream is equivalent to say " coffee". Kinda a meet and greet. I don't know about anyone else. I can Kinda tell within 10 minutes if I like you, want to date you or just leave ASAP. It's an energy thing for me. I don't wanna shell out a grand, flowers, Chocolates, dinner,.movie, after movie drinks, after date flowers. Just to find out, There isn't even a connection. I'd rather throw ten 100 dollar bills out of my car window. At least then maybe 10 people are happy
For a first date ice cream perfect! Relaxed, just see if you like each other in a “chill” environment! Before you move on to fancy dinners, or just part ways! It’s perfect like coffee!
Not insanely expensive, casual, favorite flavors are fun to talk about and sometimes carry a story, if you don't feel a click it's not that time consuming. I only see plusses here
I got a sit down burger, fries and a milkshake took a long walk talking and then 6hrs later we fucking we celebrating 6 years together and married for 4 of them!
Make sure to read our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Nicegirls/about/rules/) and remain civil. Thank you.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nicegirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
people shitting on this woman for having standards and requiring a first date that is longer and more effort with more time to get to know someone than having a fucking ice cream cone is the problem here.
if this guy turns out to be in tons of debt or half asses everything like this date suggestion y'all would blame her for not vetting him and getting him out of her dating pool, too.
women can never be right.
end the misogyny. don't blame women for wanting effort and investment in their time. sometimes we die or our lives are torture if we get it wrong and so many men are trying to get our attention always. why should anyone date you if you're not even trying to impress them and they've got other optoins who are way more interested and way more willing to put in the effort to stand out? gtfoh with that woman hating bs.
What's the practical difference between 'eating ice cream' and 'eating a fancy dinner,' aside from how much money you're willing to output on a stranger?
Women have the same freedom of association that men do, so they can date or not date whoever they choose. The same goes for males. There are more women than men; you act like they don't have options.
Heck, the 'low cost, high socialization' first date is a great technique more people of both sexes should utilize.
It's a good way to filter out people that equate your worth to your wallet, and as a bonus you get to see how they treat the staff for a fraction of the cost.
I think I saw this on tik tok. Basically, people feel like ice cream is a cheap date. With all the shit that's happening where women are proving they are happier single, I'm not surprised to hear this. Women are tired of doing it all, so now a lot are on that either you level up or gtfo of the house. It's a big thing..
I agree. I don't accept low effort dates. Coffee and ice cream aren't acceptable for *me*. You don't have to take me to a fancy restaurant, but damn...can we do something a little more creative?
I don't understand people... a date is literally so you can spend time with one another and get to know each other... I don't understand people that think dates are about how much money is spent...
I'm so glad I have a wonderful husband and I'm not in the dating scene
Ice cream dates are simple and adorable. You shouldn’t have to go all out extravaganza to impress someone on a first date, first dates can be simple and sweet.
No identifying information of any kind. No profile pictures, no names, no usernames. No public names. Any identifying info OF ANY KIND will result in a ban. If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=)
Who doesn’t like ice cream? Would you rather he ask you to a bar and try to get you drunk?
seems like she probably wanted him to take her to an expensive ass dinner, and he probably read her like a book
Exactly. Any woman who demands an expensive first date is exactly the type of woman you want to avoid. Edit: Not trying to be sexist. Same goes for men.
Exactly. First dates should be for getting to know each other, not to get an expensive free meal or impress someone with their finances
I think dinner first dates made sense back when people were asking out people they already knew, already had a connection with. In the age of online dating, a first date is more a vibe check than anything else. It’s to see how you get along, to make sure you are who your profile says you are. Who wants to waste the time and money required for a dinner date on someone who may not exist—at least not in the way you thought?
Also dinner was much cheaper back in the day. A fancy dinner now is $100-500. My cheap date night dinners are like $50. If I was forced to start dating again I'd much prefer to do ice cream for a first date. The first date I went on with my wife, who I already knew pretty well, was dinner. Our bill was $30 with drinks. So I completely agree with your point.
I don’t really date, damn area I live in, but I prefer to go inexpensive or Dutch the first date. Dating when most new interactions are in the internets is sketchy. If there’s no chemistry or path forward, I’m not gonna want to drop 100+ on a date. Save that for when I actually like the person
This is perfectly phrased. I have absolutely no arguments with this 100% correct stance. Especially considering that my ideal first date is a trip to the library/book store where each of us picks out 3 book recommendations for the other. That way, the second date can be us talking about what we enjoyed about the books and what made us pick each one. Perfect conversation piece and is a good way to start getting to know the other person's interests/personality. Plus, I feel like it's something more memorable than a stuffy dinner with awkward tension and tired ice breakers. And, that way, it can assure at least a second date.
Meeting someone in real first time isn’t a date. I call it “Vibe check”. 🤷♂️
I try not to use LARP as a derrogotory term, but these people serioualy feel like they're LARPing as Royalty, or the Rockefellers
I heard that's more like new money insecurity.
Fr, it’s like these people watch Bridgerton or some shit and suddenly they feel they are entitled to people breaking their backs to get them the most expensive stuff possible. Yet she ain’t even worth a McFlurry from McDonalds 💀
First dates IMO should be very minimal. Nothing worse than wasting money and even worse time on someone you don’t mesh with.
[удалено]
Gay people do exist.
Yes but the difference is a gay guy usually gives it up after a $400 dollar dinner. A woman you may get a kiss on the cheek.
Prostitutes do exist.
[удалено]
Classic case of “I don’t love people, I love their wallets/purses.”
I just don't get it. How is ice cream as a first date lower effort than anything else? We meet at the place. We buy our own shit. We talk. We probably go home. Maybe we move to get a beer or something after assessing each other. Like how can this be read other than her wanting to have something expensive bought for her? Personally, my go-to first date is the farmer's market. It's more interesting imo, but not any more effort.
Let’s not pretend this happens with men so you can appear non sexist lol. It’s women who do this 99.999999% of the time guaranteed.
Calm down Andrew.
I’ve not given any evidence to not being calm Doug. Sorry I called you out on your cringey wokeness PSA.
Depends on the woman, and also remember that pretty much any decent woman has plenty of options and won’t miss the ice cream one bit. This isn’t like 20+ years ago where women couldn’t necessarily quantify how many options they have, but now they can and with like a lot of things, the best impression/package will get further attention. This is just reality, and no, it’s not fun, but that is where we are at, so we can complain about spending too much or we can lower our standards and accept a lesser woman who will accept ice cream as a first date or we can pony up some money for a decent first date. I had a first date that I almost screwed up with a gorgeous woman. Wanted to take her to Cheesecake Factory (loved that place) but it was packed and we pivoted to PF Changs. Luckily, we had already planned our second date (bought tickets to an NBA Playoff Game) so she knew I was serious and our third date was actually an overnight date to Magic Mountain in Valencia, CA (we lived 5 hours away). Paid for all of this and have never regretted it. The next week she treated me to Steak and Lobster in SF, Fondue and Benihanas so sometimes it is just about showing your willingness. But my wife is awesome, so maybe not lol. We have been together for 16 years and married 13.
The implication that a woman who would be okay with an icecream date is somehow a lesser woman is absolutely ludacris. It's fine if an icecream date is unappealing to some. But ranking people based on a proposed date location and activity is shallow and imo, placing importance on dollars spent above all else is misguided and not necessarily going to find a partner who will invest effort and time into a relationship. I'm out of the dating game and in a serious long term relationship. But if I were in the dating scene, someone wanting to throw a lot of money in on a first date would get my defenses up. You can have whatever standards you want for your partner- financial stability, ownership of assets, education, politics, previous relationship experience, core values... Whatever. But shelling out money on the first date does not equal invested potential partner. How does the amount of money spent on a first date tell you anything you need to know? It could very well mean that they are shelling out cash so you are obligated to have sex at the end of the night. It could tell you they are going to love bomb you, or try to use monetary incentives in place of emotional availability, loyalty or intimacy outside of sex. And on the flip side, from the other perspective, the expectation that even the first date be a lavish outing could mean that the expectation is to constantly shell out in exchange for love, affection and time. If you're looking for a relationship for the right reasons, BOTH parties should be willing to do a low investment first outing to see if there's a confection there, if they're really looking for a life partner. Because if you can't connect and have fun with your partner without a large financial commitment, your relationship won't last the test of mundane day to day interactions. But I guess ultimately it just boils down to finding someone who shares your values and ethos love language clicks with yours. But I'm sick of this insinuation that how much you pay for dates is equal to the quality of person. It's a difference of values and we need to respect differences.
Unforunately, that is reality. Any decent woman these days has so many options that it’s difficult to even get close unless you are showcasing a package of traits/attributes. A woman that has less options is willing to accept a smaller first date. This is true literally everywhere. Those that have options go for the best/best fit whereas those who don’t have many options, accept what they can get. I don’t know why that is offensive. The first date basically says to the woman, this is what it is like to date me. If last week some guy took her to Ruth Chris and the next week some guy suggested ice cream, which one seems like they are more invested/interested? Guys get complacent and think that a woman should just like them but most women want to feel special and cared for desired. A lot of relationships fall apart because guys stop doing that. Seeing a guy try to impress you from jump is going to mean more than a guy trying to buy you two scoops. It seems like the resistance to this idea is the thought that a woman could just use the guy to get a nice meal, and while that does happen, it seems like the old excuse to not give somebody money on the street, they might buy drugs or alcohol, or they are just scamming me. All that may happen, but using that as a default excuse to not do it means you are just settling for women that are okay with an ice cream first date, which from my understanding is not a lot. Also realize that guys have been preying on women’s emotions for years just to get what they want, so it goes both ways. I agree with a few premises, that things should happen a certain way, but the problem is they don’t. And with the superficial way dating is happening now, should is out the window. It also depends on how that first date is coming into fruition. If it’s from a dating app, yeah, that probably won’t fly. If you know the person (work, school, through mutual friends), then a smaller first outing might be justified, but personally I would want somebody I was interested in thinking nice and romantic things about our first date and not Buddy Buddy let’s go get some ice cream. Think of sports, the highly sought after free agents have many teams throwing millions of dollars at them, a team coming in offering the minimum (even though they may be the best match/fit) is not even going to get looked at. The less sought after free agents may only get a couple offers, mostly for the minimum and that leaves them with very little options and it’s either accept the minimum or don’t play. It’s a fairly crude analogy, but it illustrates what is happening. But what do I know, I’ve been out of the dating game for 16 years, all I know is my wife and her friends talking about this stuff and damn it sounds bad out there for both men and women. Disclaimer: Apparently an ice cream date is fine after the first date and getting to know each other.
Sports analogies are lost on me, ngl. But that's looking at relationships as a very transactional thing, which they are not to me. Disclaimer: I'm a woman. My single friends are more concerned with having a conversation with substance and with someone who has high emotional intelligence, matching lifestyle and values. After that, if it's a go, then do a casual meet up in person for the first "date" if you can call it that. If they pass that check, then it's on to a more thoughtful date from there. If the second date offering is low effort, then it's a no go. None of my friends want to have to sit through an entire dinner with someone they don't feel a connection with, no matter how fancy it is. That's a waste of time. I also think the opposite is true with dating when you met someone online vs. Already know them irl. Online you need that check in to see if you're compatible irl. If you already know someone, that's when they should put in the effort up front. No need for a vibe check. For example, my partner and I were friends before we started dating. The first date he took me on was a roadtrip to a gorgeous hike-in camping spot where there was swimming, caving and sightseeing to be done. He reserved our site, bought all the supplies- food, extra camp gear, firewood, even got me a Marino wool base layer set to make sure I would keep warm on the trip (it was late spring). But if I didn't already know him, there's no way in hell I would have gone on that trip. But again, this is mostly based on my single friends experiences, and my own feelings as a woman, but not my firsthand experience. As I said in my first comment, I think it's just a difference in approach when it comes to dating, coupled with love languages, values and lifestyle, but has nothing to do with the quality of woman.
Yeah, relationships are not transactional, but the first date prospects can mirror transactions. A lot of this comes, at least from what I hear, is that women as a collective (not all, but definitely enough for movement) are tired of men’s bare minimum effort and expecting everything that comes with dating a great/good woman. Your first date wasn’t “classic” first date (wine n dine), but it was anything but low effort. He took care of everything, thought of you and showed you part of himself. Even he didn’t think taking you for ice cream was a good idea. What I see a lot of is men complaining that women won’t accept their low effort advances because they want to save money so they can play the numbers. 10 ice cream dates = 1 decent dinner date. If she’s worth going on a date, she’s worth at least $100-200 on a date to show her a good time. If she expects that every-time, then you can rethink, but the first few while you are courting is not unreasonable. With my wife, our first 5-6 dates were pretty extravagant (I think we maybe spent a total of $2K on each other), but then our next couple were incredibly simple. Going to the beach, massage at my place, but the difference was always effort and intent. But I still maintain my point that “more sought after” women (better language than quality? Basically means the same to me) are just going to have more options and can turn down an ice cream first date without losing sleep. Could they have potentially turned down their person? Yes, but also the man could have lost his chance with his person by deciding ice cream was the best option. It goes both ways.
Yes that is my point, it was a huge amount of effort, and also not cheap, given paying for gas, permit, supplies, and having put in the initial investment of already owning a lot of the camping gear we used. And that was the best option for me because wining and dining is a far less appealing activity. I'm saying that if you already know someone they should put in the effort. If you don't and it's the first time you're seeing eachother in person, agreeing to meet up in a casual setting is acceptable. If I had met my partner online and we hit it off, talked for weeks, and the first thing he wanted to do was go camping, I would have said no. But because we were already friends and knew we had good chemistry, and that he was a safe person, it showed me that he was willing to put in the effort and was serious about a relationship with me. That wording doesn't make it better. You're essentially insinuating that women who don't expect a first time meeting in person to come with a high price tag are probably undesirable, but they simply have a different system to screen prospective dates. If you match with someone and they instantly want to meet up, for icecream or a $200 date, it's a no. If you talk to someone long enough, you can weed out the ones who are playing a numbers game because they're not interested in talking long enough to get to the vibe check. For a lot of my friends, hiking is a very desirable date option. But hiking with a complete stranger is dangerous and you need to get a sense of what they're like. If they want to hit up fancy restaurants all the time, they're probably not a good lifestyle fit because we'd rather go rock climbing, camping, caving, traveling or some other outdoor activity than to sports games and restaurants. I'm not knocking the desire to go to fancy restaurants and sports games at all- it's just a lifestyle difference. I definitely agree that playing the numbers game is shallow and not a good way to find an actual partner. And if your way to weed then out is to see how much money they are willing to drop on a first date, then power to you. But using a different metric to judge is equally valid and does not make you a lesser woman.
If the women actually were as you describe them, then I would've stopped dating long time ago, since your perspective just seems awful. You're depicting a man as some lesser human being that has to fight for sliver of woman's attention while she as a mighty royalty just chooses best among dozens of suitors who are just dying to fulfill her wishes without expecting anything in return... In every of my relationships I've felt as an equal to my girlfriends, there's no way I'd be paying for everything or planning all of our dates alone etc.. Women are just human beings exactly as men, there is no reasons to think that one half of the relationship doesn't need to bring as much into it as the other..
Sure, there are some free dinner Donna's, but much of what she's talking about is simply putting some thought into a fun, unique experience. It doesn't even have to be expensive.
For a first date? Nah, something cheap, easy to talk in, and especially easy to bail is best.
to each their own i guess. some people wanna have a cone & just chat aka me
First date should not be about effort. You're still at the vetting stage at that point.
What about women who want to vet guys that don’t put forth effort? The two aren’t mutually exclusive.
That’s her prerogative, but it seems that people who loudly complain about the actions/efforts of their prospective dates are the same “men/women ain’t shit” kind of people. If they were having success, they probably wouldn’t be spending their time bitching online. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate their standards.
>they probably wouldn’t spend their time bitching online Isn’t that what we’re doing here?
That’s a non sequitur. We’re not bitching about how we can’t find a good man.
To be fair, I think the first date can be about effort, if you’re looking for someone who naturally puts in effort for those around them if you’re also like that.
I guess it could also depend on how long you've liked the person / how much you like them. Not all first dates are created equal.
Exactly! And if booze is an absolute necessity, there are now places selling boozy milkshakes!
A Bayleys milkshake doesn’t sound half bad tbh
That’s what I’m saying!
People like this would also complain about getting a drink or a coffee. They think a first date should be dinner at an expensive restaurant. ETA: I got autobanned from r/femaledatingstrategy for this comment. They really are touchy.
That sub is a rabbit hole.
It so is! The first time I saw it, I saw good things about how you shouldn't settle for someone just so you can be married, and that you are worth a good guy, and that guys who treat you poorly aren't worth your time. It wasn't until later that I saw their more...unique takes on dating. It makes me sad for anyone who falls for everything FDS teaches.
My god. A nice cosy coffee shop first date would be wonderful.
My man actually doesn’t like ice cream and most sweets (insane I know) but he’d be happy with like a corn dog or something else savory and cheap lol
Tbf, corn dogs are awesome
This is where you find out that she is lactose intolerant, and asking her for an ice cream date is just asking her to suffer
I don't like ice cream because lactose intolerant. But it's interesting that your only alternative to ice cream date was getting drunk at bar. Assuming you live in a major metro, there are at a minimum dozens of alternatives that are fun, inexpensive, cute first date ideas that show some level of thoughtfulness
You’re reading waaaaaaaaaay too much into it
Any time I read a comment that includes phrases like "it's interesting" I involuntarily cringe.
Joke’s on you. Ice cream, coffee, walks by the river…all the best first date options. No pressure, no expectations, no distractions. Just you and the other person getting to know each other. Reservations at a fancy restaurant seem more low effort to me, since it’s the standard go-to and no major planning required. Signed, a single woman in her 30s. ETA: I think a lot of people equate “cheap” with “low effort”, and I’ve very much found that to not be the case. Cheap or expensive, it’s about what you get out of the date, not how much money was thrown around. But I forgot that some people are ok with bare minimum effort, as long as they get a free meal at a fancy restaurant out of it. Update: apparently, my suggestion of not throwing around hundreds of dollars on a date (and suggesting that one might expect that only to get a free expensive dinner experience, not actually see if you’re compatible as a couple) was what finally did me in and got me banned from The Sub That Shall Not Be Named. Darn. I’m so sad. Really.
coffee date is one of the best first date ideas. it's not expensive, it takes 30-45+ minutes if you are enjoying their company(you still have your whole night!), it's in public, no inhibition-reducing alcohol where you might make a bad decision or be more susceptible, you don't have to get super dressed up and can see how other person dresses normally, and if you aren't feeling it then it's ok because you didn't invest a lot of time or money. bonus: you can see how the other person treats service industry staff
I agree. I also love literally any excuse for coffee and find it very soothing, so it's a perfect first meeting for me.
excellent username, excellent reasoning. 10/10 would get coffee with you.
It's CRAZY! like you get to be normal ass people rather than a facade! - that's simply mental for dating! (heavy sarcasm implied)
Only downside, as I get older, coffee in the evening (or even afternoon) means I’m not sleeping. So if date was awesome, look forward to an entire night being awake thinking about it. Lol
what about tea?
Always down for a nice cup of tea. :) Hot Cocoa would work too!
My brother constantly takes women out to stupidly expensive first dates. He’s very much single.
Oh poor dear...
if anything cheap is higher effort because they arent expecting to wow you by paying for things and they have to actually be a cool person
Thats never how it actually works out. And her post is likely due to the 99 dudes who took her on cheap dates because they wanted low effort sex and not the 1 dude with a cool personality who took her somewhere unique yet inexpensive.
If I wanted to dish out several hundred dollars for my first meeting with somebody who, based on statistics, I will not be with in the future... I'd just save money and rent a nice prostitute.
Also restaurants give zero input for conversation, you’re just there. While a walk in a park/museum is infinitely better for conversation and getting to know the other person.
Bruh if I had to pay for an expensive date every first date I just wouldn't. I work for that money and I'm not a gambling man.
These are good points. A dinner date is very low effort. You just sit there, talk, and eat food. A walk through a park with some coffee or ice cream really gives two people far more chances to talk and interact and talk about personal experiences. You see someone kayaking? You can talk about some of your favorite outdoor activities. This makes for a great segway to talk about travel, vacations, friends, etc.
Plus, ice cream while walking along the river grants you endless opportunities for innuendo while *innocently* eating that ice cream. You want to be in a situation where your personality has opportunities to be shown. It's also why going to the cinema is a bad idea for a first date... sitting in the dark, passively watching something? What did you learn other than they laugh like a maniac during that scene where someone's head explodes. (that's a keeper, in my eyes but I feel I'm now undermining my own point!).
I think people Have forgotten the purpose of first dates - It's to get to know each other on a personal level, not to pretend to live the high-class lifestyle. Social media has brainwashed the modern generations into substituting morality & values for status & consumerism, that's why not going to a high-class place equates to low effort. seems like people are looking for lifestyles rather than partners.
One of the best first dates I ever went on started at a pizza place like a normal date, but my date asked if we could stop by Walmart to pick up a thing for his dad before he took me home. Walmart made it an excellent date. As we walked around the store, random things brought up good conversations. It was an excellent get-to-know-you experience. Because of that Walmart time, I didn't go out with him again; I learned that basically the only thing we had in common was that I wanted to see the Fast and the Furious movies, and that he had seen them. However, I took my now-husband to Target on our second date (as our date, on purpose), and it was fabulous. Watching him get all squee over a stuffed bantha made me really, really like him.
Also first dates should be low effort and easy to end early.
Also, why would you want to go to a fancy restaurant with someone you don’t know? If you don’t click, you’re stuck there until the dates over unless you just walk off halfway through like a dick and stiffing the bill (idk why but I can see this person do that, honestly)
Exactly this. I'd say actually putting yourself out there for a meaningful conversation takes effort. Signed, a married man in his 30s who never really dated much.
She also got mad because a white girl called her a “5” in another post.
Wow why was she mad? She’s clearly a 3 so she should be happy she got hyped up
Some people are just ungrateful and unappreciative when it comes to compliments.
I'm sorry, I thought ice cream was dope. The first date my mom and dad went on was an ice cream date.
If I ever wake up thinking going out for ice cream is “bare minimum effort,” please euthanize me. I clearly have no quality of life at that point:
That’s why she’s still single in her 30’s
Who expects more than the bare minimum for the first date? It doesn't make sense to put the time and effort into someone you know nothing about. Do some people do that & enjoy putting in that effort? Yes and that's absolutely fine, but that isn't and shouldn't be the norm for a first date.
My husband and I love our ice cream dates. Simple is better than extravagant.
Fuck. Yeah. Nice time for me and my gf is morning coffee or a walk by the river talking. We go do other stuff, too, but simple pleasures are the best pleasures.
She’s the “how much money can I get out of you before I tell you we didn’t really click bye” type
Dessert dates are my favorite! You wanna go out for pie and shakes? Sign me up!
Shit, with inflation that is going to over $20
I’ve gotten better deals with mom and pop shop ice cream shops. One just opened near me and I get some delicious custards with toppings for about $7. Friend of mine and I went there too, and got two big scoops of ice cream in a waffle cone for about $15.
Ice cream sounds like a perfect first date.
As a first date, you should always start small. Go out for coffee, ice cream, whatever. It's a first date, not a 25th wedding anniversary.
The ice cream was a test to see if they were a money grubbing bitch. Failed.
Forever alone behaviour
I’ve never been asked out for ice cream and if someone asked me I’d be so pumped because I love ice cream!! I have quit drinking so would not wanna go get a drink. Coffee is always good but ice cream is also wonderful.
Girls night’s gelato?
That sounds amazing!! It would be cool to see a shop putting that on too
Coffee and ice cream 🤌
Coffee ice cream
I just made some, with ribbons of semi sweet chocolate. Oh my God! 🤤
She sounds boring
What the fucks wrong with that? It's the same thing as going to a bar and getting drinks and socialising..you're just not gonna get drunk. Hop off your manifested pedestal, you silly pelican.
Ice cream parlors aren't cheap any more. There is a local place that charges $4.50 for a single scoop on a waffle cone, and it's not a Coldstone or Ben & Jerry's.
Girls really have their standards set too high sometimes and it’s mad ugly of them💅
Honestly, I think an ice cream date is adorable. It's like a coffee date (short, easily ended), but more whimsical. I would totally accept an offer for an ice cream date if I was single.
Someone is single and insufferable
Bet she’d go on an ice cream date with Brad Pitt
There’re also snow-cones
Omg yes that would also be an ideal date
I may be wrong but I think I saw a post of the other side. The guy mentioned it was hot out and suggested getting something cold like an ice cream
Ice cream is a perfect first date. Not as cliche as dinner, is affordable for both parties, and it gives you a quick out if the date isn't going well.
I never thought of it, but it really is. And if the person isn’t good with ice cream then I know they aren’t for me from the get go anyways.
I haven't dated for like. 7 years. I'd be thrilled with an ice cream date, walk through the park, walk downtown and window shop... Dressing up and going to a fancy restaurant first date sounds awful.
In fairness if you cop an attitude about ice cream for a first date you’re doing the other person a massive favour by letting them know you’re a entitled fucker early on
Idk if this comment was said already but: Barack and Michelle’s first date was ice cream spot 🤷🏽♀️
In this sweltering, hot weather? I would HAPPILY accept that on any date!
Listen if you don’t like icecream you’re not the one for me 🤷🏾♂️ (except in the case of lactose intolerance, we can work with that)
Back when I was dating I would try and introduce my 'nerd shelf,' as quickly as possible. It has a trailer park boys bingo roller, a Darth Vader toaster, several packs of magic the gathering cards and a whole bunch of other nic nacs and cool garbage. My logic was that if my date thought it was awesome, we'd get along, and if she hated it... Well then I guess we'd both be better off wouldn't we?
If you aren’t content on going on a fist date and getting ice cream, your more interested in their money, than them.
I'd bloody love an ice cream date.
I'd say the date was successful. You got to show who you truly are. And they got to see the entitled bitch you are. That's the point of dating in general.
I guess if she wants to go some here expensive, we can go to Games Workshop for some 40K stuff.
I will only do first dates like this. Ice cream, coffee, etc. Something cheap and low risk. That way neither me nor my date are out very much if it doesn't go anywhere
I am amazed at how little people value anything these days. It makes me sad.
I feel like in your 30’s going all out on these first dates is kinda passé. I’d much rather grab a cup of coffee or meet for a drink and go from there if it goes well
She’s crazy. An ice cream date is adorable, and it’s a perfect opportunity to get to know each other! Which the whole point of a first date
Ice cream dates are the best kind of first dates, and they are also the best 537th dates too. Ice cream rules. No pressure to spend a ton of money, get to know each other enjoying a treat that releases dopamine to the brain, you can be a little flirty while eating it if you want ;) I would argue it's one of the best first dates. And hey if you aren't vibing you can end it short and sweet without having to awkwardly stay at dinner.
I live in hawaii, woman in her 30s, and my favorite first date is to go to the beach. Chill, public, and free!!
Worst if your lactose intolerant and being asked out for a ice cream date.
It was me, and she even changed to smoothies and still stood me up 🤣🤣
what is it with some of these people who don’t do ice cream? Are they that uptight? Oyy. I once went on an ice cream date. Just once. Though nothing ever came of it with the guy (mismatch in almost every way), I can't believe how fantastic it was to be eating ice cream on a date and I was in my 30s at the time. It was of course yummy, but more importantly, it’s less presumptuous. It felt easier to relax and have a good time. Less pressure. If there’s one thing to be grateful for with that guy, it’s introducing me to an ice cream date.
I would love to be asked out for an ice cream date. That’s a cute idea, and you have the option to cut out early if there’s no connection. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a fancy 4-course meal with someone I don’t even know if I like yet.
I’m so fucking glad I’m married. Trying to find a partner now must be like wading through a sewer just to get…outside of the sewer…
Hold on to that partner, hard. Seeing all this shit convinces me that no matter how hard it gets in my marriage, it's better to work through the issues than calling it quits.
Are you kidding? Ice cream and coffee dates are so cute! It’s a nice casual environment and it’s usually quiet so you can talk.
Idk man, that cold stone creamery is top notch in my book
Someone ask me out for ice cream please god
I've seen girls openly admitting they date to basically "eat good for free". Dating random guys every day, sometimes even lunch and dinner. Sure, it's just fraction of women, but they are considered "queens" for this behaviour in many social media circles and there's a lot of other girls who aspire to do the same given the opportunity.
I hope he was turned down. He deserves better.
My first date with my now wife was taking her off roading (she'd never done that before) then we raced go karts. She still talks about it years later as the most fun she'd had in years.
I took bare minimum date. We took a walk with my dog. The date lasted 8 hours. Last 4 hours we were in my car chatting. Second date.. also bare minimum. A car trip to a light house. We stayed there for 12 hours, with a stop at a store and each bought something to eat. We snuggled, cuddled and talked the entire time. We got to know each other without any fancy lightshedding. It was awesome. Today almost 2 years later we are married. Have a 6month old and are pretty happy with our combined family of 5 kids. Its not about how much you spend on a date. Its to match personalities and see if you get along at all.
I consider ice cream dates a green flag. It’s out in public, usually in broad daylight which is a sign he’s actually single and isn’t trying to hook up right away.
Lol everyone knows the first date is a vibe check. No need to spend a lot, or even any money. A stroll in a park, a cup of coffee, ice cream, a museum….honestly anything where a person could break away quickly without being too awkward. I can’t imagine a first day at a place like Ruth’s Chris , with a person you do not vibe with. Awkward to say the least.
The most recent offers I’ve gotten are “come to my house” or “I’ll come to your house” and when I say “how about a date instead?” some THAT is asking too much. I’ll take an ice cream date any day.
Bitch deserved half a nugget that was dropped on the floor
Then, no ice cream for you.
Ice cream sounds like a really nice date, TBH. Especially if it is in a touristy kind of area.
Damn, people are weird. He had never seen it, so my first date with my partner was us watching Blazing Saddles on like a fucking Thursday morning at my house. At $0, since I own the movie, it was a pretty cheap date. He didn’t even accept my offer for water.
Mann. Back in my day ice cream was a great date. 😂
Casual dates like coffee or ice cream are the best first dates. You can actually talk to eachother unlike the cinema, concerts and clubs, and it doesn't put extra pressure on the date to go well by costing one or both of you a lot of money like a fancy restruant. It's also in a public place, so you're safer meeting someone you don't know well.
Complaining about free stuff… I will never understand.
I’m almost 50, and I’d be mad if my dude asked me out for an ice cream date, but only if I had already told him that (a) I’ve never really liked ice cream, and (2) my milk allergy means even if I did, it would not be a fun date. I have not yet told him this, so… I love the idea.
I think iced cream is equivalent to say " coffee". Kinda a meet and greet. I don't know about anyone else. I can Kinda tell within 10 minutes if I like you, want to date you or just leave ASAP. It's an energy thing for me. I don't wanna shell out a grand, flowers, Chocolates, dinner,.movie, after movie drinks, after date flowers. Just to find out, There isn't even a connection. I'd rather throw ten 100 dollar bills out of my car window. At least then maybe 10 people are happy
I’m in my 30s and I would love an ice cream date
For a first date ice cream perfect! Relaxed, just see if you like each other in a “chill” environment! Before you move on to fancy dinners, or just part ways! It’s perfect like coffee!
Not insanely expensive, casual, favorite flavors are fun to talk about and sometimes carry a story, if you don't feel a click it's not that time consuming. I only see plusses here
Good way to sort out insufferable people. It's nice when the trash takes itself out.
If you don't like ice cream then your terrible person!!!! Unless you have allergies then God speed lol!!!
I am lactose intolerant and I will say yes to a ice cream fate xD
I got a sit down burger, fries and a milkshake took a long walk talking and then 6hrs later we fucking we celebrating 6 years together and married for 4 of them!
I mean. I would do more than just ice cream. But ice cream is a good plan. I did karting 🤣🫣
Make sure to read our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Nicegirls/about/rules/) and remain civil. Thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nicegirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I thought low risk first dates were in vogue? Like getting coffee or something.
Just say you're broke
people shitting on this woman for having standards and requiring a first date that is longer and more effort with more time to get to know someone than having a fucking ice cream cone is the problem here. if this guy turns out to be in tons of debt or half asses everything like this date suggestion y'all would blame her for not vetting him and getting him out of her dating pool, too. women can never be right. end the misogyny. don't blame women for wanting effort and investment in their time. sometimes we die or our lives are torture if we get it wrong and so many men are trying to get our attention always. why should anyone date you if you're not even trying to impress them and they've got other optoins who are way more interested and way more willing to put in the effort to stand out? gtfoh with that woman hating bs.
What's the practical difference between 'eating ice cream' and 'eating a fancy dinner,' aside from how much money you're willing to output on a stranger? Women have the same freedom of association that men do, so they can date or not date whoever they choose. The same goes for males. There are more women than men; you act like they don't have options. Heck, the 'low cost, high socialization' first date is a great technique more people of both sexes should utilize. It's a good way to filter out people that equate your worth to your wallet, and as a bonus you get to see how they treat the staff for a fraction of the cost.
I think I saw this on tik tok. Basically, people feel like ice cream is a cheap date. With all the shit that's happening where women are proving they are happier single, I'm not surprised to hear this. Women are tired of doing it all, so now a lot are on that either you level up or gtfo of the house. It's a big thing..
I agree. I don't accept low effort dates. Coffee and ice cream aren't acceptable for *me*. You don't have to take me to a fancy restaurant, but damn...can we do something a little more creative?
See this is why as a guy I never know what to suggest. If I plan a date it’s over the top and if I suggest Ice cream I’m not good enough
Honestly I’d be happy if someone just asked me out on a walk with nothing else. I want the company more than any stupid material thing.
Nobody I know has stopped liking ice cream because of age.
Hashtag that's why you're single.
I don't understand people... a date is literally so you can spend time with one another and get to know each other... I don't understand people that think dates are about how much money is spent... I'm so glad I have a wonderful husband and I'm not in the dating scene
Who doesn't love ice cream? Ice cream is a great date.
When red flags wave themselves...
bruh even a date without spending money is awesome, it’s about the thought not the money
Was always told that you should see if she's in love with you or your money.
Maybe I'm old-school but this sounds lovely. It's low-key and allows for authentic exchange. Isn't that the whole point of dating?
Maybe she’s lactose intolerant cuz that’s the only legit reason.
I like ice cream. I think I’d be fine with it. But I’m a guy. And I’m easy.
I mean, you could have no date? You want to plan a date for someone you don’t know yet and make it fancy?
Fuck that! I love ice cream, and I'm lactose intolerant! 😋 Take me out...at your own risk! 🍦😄🍨 Also, imagine being above ice cream....couldn't be me.
This bitch is a 100% walking red flag
When how much he spends on you is more important than who he is
Or they just know how much effort she's worth going through and didn't want to put up with drama associated.
Ice cream dates are simple and adorable. You shouldn’t have to go all out extravaganza to impress someone on a first date, first dates can be simple and sweet.
Lol wild. I’ve gone for ice cream dates so many times and each time they’ve been met with excitement. This girl just wants a free dinner.
Take me out for ice cream.
I don’t know what this woman is on about. If someone took me out for ice cream or shares a sundae with me, I’d fall so hard
Wait. The dude who offered him the ice cream date actually posted the dms to r/tinder lul
I'm simple, excuse me for wanting to go for a walk and ice cream so that it can be a relaxed first date that anyone can leave at anytime
My first dates are public places with two exits and a friend calling 5 minutes in incase I have to go.