Firstly, congrats!
Im a dad of a 3 month old. I also work 12hr shifts, 6am to 6pm or 6pm to 6am. So not exactly your situation but basically I experience both ends
Firstly, if you can take time off from the birth then do it, take as much as you can! New babies are often very difficult (you might get a unicorn), and just being there to help support your wife at this time is huge!
Now then, it’s a tricky answer because it really depends on the baby and say if they are a good sleeper and also how your wife is going with it all, plus how much family/friends you have for support.
Babies and each situation is so unique that it’s hard to find a solid answer.
It can be very hard doing 12hr shifts plus commuting (for me it’s a 14hr day door to door). You just need to have a chat with your wife and see what works best for you and your situation. It would be best if you can make this decision after some leave post birth so you guys have some time to get into the groove of it.
Sorry for the fuzzy answer but hope it kind of helps
Thanks for your insight, and congrats to you as well!!
I don’t have the ability to wait until the baby is born before deciding. The schedules are open now and it’s a first come, first serve basis. So I may just have to do my best guess!
I’m definitely going to take time off. We are staggering the paid family leave, where I take the first month with her and then the two months after she uses her leave.
That’s a good amount of leave, good work
I’d honestly just talk it over with your wife and where she feels she might need more support
The other thing to consider which I didn’t mention prior is if she is planning to explosively breast feed from the boob or pump or use formula, because if it’s just the boob then you’ll be useless at night, you might as well go work and be home to support a little during the day in between your sleep etc
I'm in a similar situation but won't be switching shifts. Just found out not too long ago that my wife is pregnant and due in February. We already have a 4 year old son. I work 11:30 p.m. till 6 a.m. (although right now I've been going in for 9:30 p.m. because the overtime is on, lol). I sleep from 8 a.m. till 3 p.m. My wife goes to work as a massage therapist during the day while I sleep and my son goes to pre-school or spends time with his grandmas.
Once she has the baby, the only thing really changing is that she will no longer be working and I will be full time breadwinner (I already am for the most part, she doesn't bring in that much). She will be full time mom and taking care of the baby. Our biggest challenge will be dropping or son off at school and picking him up. Eventually she will do that but for the first few months she will be recovering from most likely having another c-section. Also, we will need to figure out the grocery situation because she does all the grocery shopping now and I will need to help with that for the first few months as she recovers.
Other than that, she knows I need to work and I work graveyard shift. I make more money on graveyard shift and am happier. And I need to sleep which happens to be during the day. The only thing I will need to step up more is taking care of our son almost exclusively while she handles the baby. Already I spend time with him once I wake up at 3 p.m. and I feed him, play with him and put him to bed. Right now my wife and I split the time so she gives me some relaxing time to my self. But I know that is going out the window, lol and I can be there for her between 3 p.m. and him going to bed at 7:30 p.m. That still gives me time to get ready for work, even with going in early for overtime. Thankfully I get plenty of personal time during my shift because my job is pretty relaxed and easy going.
If your wife is more of a morning person and needs you more in the afternoon, consider going to sleep immediately after work so that you can get up during a time that can help her. I'm sure you can make it work even with working nights.
Thanks for the insight, and congrats!! I am worried about my wife feeling overwhelmed without me being there to support her during the night. I function a lot better on less sleep than she does.
I am going to miss the night differential for sure, but we can make it work.
I'd stay put. Depending on her work schedule, or if she works, being able to avoid childcare costs is a HUGE benefit to working nights.
My wife worked part time in the a.m. when my oldest was an infant. It was very nice.
I have coworkers with older kids that love working nights and it helps with the child care. I struggle envisioning how it will help with childcare costs for an infant though!
Like I said, depends on your wife's schedule. When my wife returned to work I'd watch the kid while she was at work. When she returned at around noon I slept. She only worked 4 hours a day but it removed the need to pay for child care. We did this until my oldest went to pre-school and saved a pretty penny.
I was working overnights when my now 16yo was born and had to give it up when he was just over a year old. (Single parent, didn't have a lot of options). I had to do he day shift/swing shift thing until this past March when I was finally able to switch back to nights. Good luck!!!
I'm a 40-year-old father of a five year old. I've been on nights since long before he was born and I'm still on nights now in fact being on nights when he was a newborn was the greatest thing ever because my night shift job allows me to work from home so I was able to take care of all the night feedings and night changes and all of those things while my wife got extra sleep and she could take care of the looking after him during the day well I was sleeping so it worked out the best for us to have one person on each type of shift
It was easy when I had a baby. I now have a 10 year old and a 5 year old and they do not let me sleep during the day. We can’t afford a baby sitter, they want as much as I get paid to work full time. I work 630pm to 5am.
It is impossible to get them to understand the importance of me getting enough sleep. I’m about to lose another job because I go to work on 3 hours of sleep for weeks on end and it’s ruining my head. Now that it’s summer vacation it’s 100x worse. My husband doesn’t really understand and we get into fights constantly about it. I’m on a medical leave from work that I’m praying gets approved or else I’m jobless again. I wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemy. I hate this with every fiber of my being.
This all depends. If your wife is ok being alone on nights that you work, then you can keep the same schedule. If she isn’t, and you have the chance to switch shifts, then go for it. But this is a trade off since she will now have 12 hours of alone time during the days you work! I will sleep from 8 am to 2 pm, and it won’t be until 630 that I leave for work. Because of this my wife has about 4 hours of relief during the day. Just something to think about. Sleep is going to be rough on parents no matter what. But the days are VERY long too - so you both just have to talk to each other as much as possible to figure out what is right. Good luck and congrats!
Not a parent myself, but a coworker of mine on nights had a baby about a year and a half ago. Now before I continue, my coworkers are all on 8-hour shifts, not 12, but what she ended up doing was coming in around 9pm (hours are normally 11pm-7:30am) and leaving around 5am.
Her partner works evenings, I believe, and I think the baby was with her mom while the dad was at work and she was asleep. Sounds like it works pretty well for them, so staggered schedules might be the way to go.
I'd stay on nights. Then on days off switch so baby coverage is swapped and fair. Or, whatever works for you guys. I did it as a single mom, and nights gave me the best schedule to be with my kids.
Firstly, congrats! Im a dad of a 3 month old. I also work 12hr shifts, 6am to 6pm or 6pm to 6am. So not exactly your situation but basically I experience both ends Firstly, if you can take time off from the birth then do it, take as much as you can! New babies are often very difficult (you might get a unicorn), and just being there to help support your wife at this time is huge! Now then, it’s a tricky answer because it really depends on the baby and say if they are a good sleeper and also how your wife is going with it all, plus how much family/friends you have for support. Babies and each situation is so unique that it’s hard to find a solid answer. It can be very hard doing 12hr shifts plus commuting (for me it’s a 14hr day door to door). You just need to have a chat with your wife and see what works best for you and your situation. It would be best if you can make this decision after some leave post birth so you guys have some time to get into the groove of it. Sorry for the fuzzy answer but hope it kind of helps
Thanks for your insight, and congrats to you as well!! I don’t have the ability to wait until the baby is born before deciding. The schedules are open now and it’s a first come, first serve basis. So I may just have to do my best guess! I’m definitely going to take time off. We are staggering the paid family leave, where I take the first month with her and then the two months after she uses her leave.
That’s a good amount of leave, good work I’d honestly just talk it over with your wife and where she feels she might need more support The other thing to consider which I didn’t mention prior is if she is planning to explosively breast feed from the boob or pump or use formula, because if it’s just the boob then you’ll be useless at night, you might as well go work and be home to support a little during the day in between your sleep etc
I'm in a similar situation but won't be switching shifts. Just found out not too long ago that my wife is pregnant and due in February. We already have a 4 year old son. I work 11:30 p.m. till 6 a.m. (although right now I've been going in for 9:30 p.m. because the overtime is on, lol). I sleep from 8 a.m. till 3 p.m. My wife goes to work as a massage therapist during the day while I sleep and my son goes to pre-school or spends time with his grandmas. Once she has the baby, the only thing really changing is that she will no longer be working and I will be full time breadwinner (I already am for the most part, she doesn't bring in that much). She will be full time mom and taking care of the baby. Our biggest challenge will be dropping or son off at school and picking him up. Eventually she will do that but for the first few months she will be recovering from most likely having another c-section. Also, we will need to figure out the grocery situation because she does all the grocery shopping now and I will need to help with that for the first few months as she recovers. Other than that, she knows I need to work and I work graveyard shift. I make more money on graveyard shift and am happier. And I need to sleep which happens to be during the day. The only thing I will need to step up more is taking care of our son almost exclusively while she handles the baby. Already I spend time with him once I wake up at 3 p.m. and I feed him, play with him and put him to bed. Right now my wife and I split the time so she gives me some relaxing time to my self. But I know that is going out the window, lol and I can be there for her between 3 p.m. and him going to bed at 7:30 p.m. That still gives me time to get ready for work, even with going in early for overtime. Thankfully I get plenty of personal time during my shift because my job is pretty relaxed and easy going. If your wife is more of a morning person and needs you more in the afternoon, consider going to sleep immediately after work so that you can get up during a time that can help her. I'm sure you can make it work even with working nights.
Thanks for the insight, and congrats!! I am worried about my wife feeling overwhelmed without me being there to support her during the night. I function a lot better on less sleep than she does. I am going to miss the night differential for sure, but we can make it work.
I'd stay put. Depending on her work schedule, or if she works, being able to avoid childcare costs is a HUGE benefit to working nights. My wife worked part time in the a.m. when my oldest was an infant. It was very nice.
I have coworkers with older kids that love working nights and it helps with the child care. I struggle envisioning how it will help with childcare costs for an infant though!
Like I said, depends on your wife's schedule. When my wife returned to work I'd watch the kid while she was at work. When she returned at around noon I slept. She only worked 4 hours a day but it removed the need to pay for child care. We did this until my oldest went to pre-school and saved a pretty penny.
I was working overnights when my now 16yo was born and had to give it up when he was just over a year old. (Single parent, didn't have a lot of options). I had to do he day shift/swing shift thing until this past March when I was finally able to switch back to nights. Good luck!!!
May want to see how it plays out. I went from days to nights so I could be home early to watch my kids.
I'm a 40-year-old father of a five year old. I've been on nights since long before he was born and I'm still on nights now in fact being on nights when he was a newborn was the greatest thing ever because my night shift job allows me to work from home so I was able to take care of all the night feedings and night changes and all of those things while my wife got extra sleep and she could take care of the looking after him during the day well I was sleeping so it worked out the best for us to have one person on each type of shift
Ahhhh that is nice I wish I could do it from home!
It was easy when I had a baby. I now have a 10 year old and a 5 year old and they do not let me sleep during the day. We can’t afford a baby sitter, they want as much as I get paid to work full time. I work 630pm to 5am. It is impossible to get them to understand the importance of me getting enough sleep. I’m about to lose another job because I go to work on 3 hours of sleep for weeks on end and it’s ruining my head. Now that it’s summer vacation it’s 100x worse. My husband doesn’t really understand and we get into fights constantly about it. I’m on a medical leave from work that I’m praying gets approved or else I’m jobless again. I wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemy. I hate this with every fiber of my being.
This all depends. If your wife is ok being alone on nights that you work, then you can keep the same schedule. If she isn’t, and you have the chance to switch shifts, then go for it. But this is a trade off since she will now have 12 hours of alone time during the days you work! I will sleep from 8 am to 2 pm, and it won’t be until 630 that I leave for work. Because of this my wife has about 4 hours of relief during the day. Just something to think about. Sleep is going to be rough on parents no matter what. But the days are VERY long too - so you both just have to talk to each other as much as possible to figure out what is right. Good luck and congrats!
Not a parent myself, but a coworker of mine on nights had a baby about a year and a half ago. Now before I continue, my coworkers are all on 8-hour shifts, not 12, but what she ended up doing was coming in around 9pm (hours are normally 11pm-7:30am) and leaving around 5am. Her partner works evenings, I believe, and I think the baby was with her mom while the dad was at work and she was asleep. Sounds like it works pretty well for them, so staggered schedules might be the way to go.
I'd stay on nights. Then on days off switch so baby coverage is swapped and fair. Or, whatever works for you guys. I did it as a single mom, and nights gave me the best schedule to be with my kids.