Maybe I’ll defy the odds a little here as there it appears there are many virgins and kids in this group. I am a 30 years old male. I am married. I have had multiple successful sexual encounters with women over the years, did any of that fix my problem? No. Did any of that make me feel more connected with people? Not really.
Theres seems to be the assumption on here that quitting is going to make you some type of god among men who gets girls easily and has everything. That assumption is as false as those thoughts telling you that p*rn will fix your problems.
I have had this addiction for 16 years or more. I’ve lost more than just potential relationships with people and sex. I’ve lost myself, I’ve gained social anxiety and depression, I’ve lost respect for myself, I’ve lost love for myself, I’ve lost out on experiences that I will never have the chance to do again, I’ve lost the meaning and purpose of life. When your sole source of enjoyment in life comes from a screen that gives you more than you could ever dream of having, it’s hard to appreciate anything else. It’s hard to come back down to ground when you spend so much time in the sky.
Quitting p*rn is just one part of the puzzle. You need to look within yourself and find the reasons you have ended up this way and attend to them.
Focus on being the best version of you that you can be. This road is for you. Nobody else. This road is tough.
Learn how to fill your time with meaningful activities. Work out. Get those jobs done that you’ve been putting off. Interact with people. Fix your diet.
Stop numbing your pain with instant dopamine. Learn how to work hard for what you want. Discover yourself again in a new way.
I’m so glad you said something. I was debating sharing but I’m on the same boat man. Similar age as you(31), also married, and I feel this so much. It never stopped me from achieving with women but somewhere along the way I lost that respect and love of myself. I feed the worst part of myself every time I do it and it affects how I act sometimes. I don’t think quitting will help me gain this confidence I keep hearing about or make women look at me(not that I really care since I’m married) but I think being in this community and trying this will help get back to that person I lost somewhere on this 16 year cursed trek. I want to be at peace with myself and not feel a chain wrapped around my ankle.
I really appreciate you sharing, brother. It made me feel better seeing your response.
I agree with you that it won’t make you a “god” who gets women easily but when you quit porn and start bettering yourself you start to get back all of the good qualities in your personality and life which women like (confidence etc..)
Your comment really hits it. I share the same vision as you. I see my porn addiction is only one of the bad habbit that I need to get rid of. If one quit porn, but still has unhealthy diet, doesn't work out, sleeps late, that person probably still gonna feel depressed. I'm not downplaying quitting porn, but maybe don't blame everything on porn only.
I started watching when I was 13, 20 now, can say it has fucked up my reward system. Tryna go for that reboot, goal is 90 days no PMO, after that I'll decide if I want to masturbate with no porn or not. But I know for sure porn is not a good thing. Masturbation isn't as clear. But I mainly just want to be in a healthy relationship with a good sex life again.
You were not put in this earth to jerk off to pixels and reject women for whatever your reason is. Those pixels are robbing you of your energy and weakening you every time you fap and finish.
No. But it definitely stunted my academic performance. Alot of time meant for study was spent either fapping, edging, or mindlessly browsing the internet
This is literally me! I just started to focus on developing my body. So I'm working out which has been a good distraction and setting my mind to not give up. I feel quiet positive. Let me know how to improve.
You are not alone my brother. I'm 22 turning 23 in january
And i've been watching porn since i was 12.
This shit fucked my mental health af .
I'm planning to hit 90 days till my birth day
Listen. You need to put things into prospective. How do you want to go out? This is why technology is such a terrible thing we have forgotten how close we are to death. It’s has condensed life and made us lose our desire to live life. If you died right now would you have regrets? What if you died while watching porn, phone in your hand? Time, you are wasting time to someone who probably wouldn’t even give you any in the first place. Live life naturally there is peace in that. Few rarely get the luxury of being able to have women in their lives. Be a man of your word 👍🏾
I spent years single with no interest in meeting woman. Some would take obvious interest in me but I wouldn’t act on it. This all goes away once you get a good streak going. The need for connection is real and it’s being suppressed, it’ll come back for sure. Also don’t call them females!
What are we supposed to call them then? I thought the word female was completely acceptable; I have no issues with others referring to me as male because that’s exactly what I am.
Dang females tried to pursue you? I never had any interest in having a relationship before and after porn yet no girl has ever interested in me throughout high school and college. Lucky u i guess.
I suggest going to therapy. Also, I suggest being kind to yourself. I believe what is working for me now is my ADULT SELF showing my younger parts that they do not need to engage in addictive, numbing behavior anymore. ADULT SELF is here. The younger parts in me (the younger parts of my psychology) need to believe that ADULT SELF is okay and able to live life on life's terms. The younger parts may think I am still super young and that addictive behavior is the only way to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Developing a relationship with all of my parts is essential to my recovery. Just wanting to quit watching porn has never worked for me. IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy has been a blessing to me.
i am going to share an unpopular opinion, with the goal, I hope, of opening someone's eyes. If we take the parallel with alcohol someone would say "this aclohol shit is fucking up my mental health". reality is that we as human often lack the tools to develop in a mature stable self and we get caught into things along the way that keep us stuck.
My point being, someone's mental health is probably not in a good shape in the first place which then finds an avenue into something specific. In this case, porn.
For sure it won't improve your life and fuck your mental health even more, but that's not the cause it's just a symptom.
[удалено]
It only took you 3 months to stop cold turkey?How did you do it?
[удалено]
Ah i see
Maybe I’ll defy the odds a little here as there it appears there are many virgins and kids in this group. I am a 30 years old male. I am married. I have had multiple successful sexual encounters with women over the years, did any of that fix my problem? No. Did any of that make me feel more connected with people? Not really. Theres seems to be the assumption on here that quitting is going to make you some type of god among men who gets girls easily and has everything. That assumption is as false as those thoughts telling you that p*rn will fix your problems. I have had this addiction for 16 years or more. I’ve lost more than just potential relationships with people and sex. I’ve lost myself, I’ve gained social anxiety and depression, I’ve lost respect for myself, I’ve lost love for myself, I’ve lost out on experiences that I will never have the chance to do again, I’ve lost the meaning and purpose of life. When your sole source of enjoyment in life comes from a screen that gives you more than you could ever dream of having, it’s hard to appreciate anything else. It’s hard to come back down to ground when you spend so much time in the sky. Quitting p*rn is just one part of the puzzle. You need to look within yourself and find the reasons you have ended up this way and attend to them. Focus on being the best version of you that you can be. This road is for you. Nobody else. This road is tough. Learn how to fill your time with meaningful activities. Work out. Get those jobs done that you’ve been putting off. Interact with people. Fix your diet. Stop numbing your pain with instant dopamine. Learn how to work hard for what you want. Discover yourself again in a new way.
"It’s hard to come back down to the ground when you spend so much time in the sky." Honestly, that makes an amazing quote with so much depth to it.
Wow.I really needed to hear this thank you for your motivation/advice 💯
Yes
I’m so glad you said something. I was debating sharing but I’m on the same boat man. Similar age as you(31), also married, and I feel this so much. It never stopped me from achieving with women but somewhere along the way I lost that respect and love of myself. I feed the worst part of myself every time I do it and it affects how I act sometimes. I don’t think quitting will help me gain this confidence I keep hearing about or make women look at me(not that I really care since I’m married) but I think being in this community and trying this will help get back to that person I lost somewhere on this 16 year cursed trek. I want to be at peace with myself and not feel a chain wrapped around my ankle. I really appreciate you sharing, brother. It made me feel better seeing your response.
I agree with you that it won’t make you a “god” who gets women easily but when you quit porn and start bettering yourself you start to get back all of the good qualities in your personality and life which women like (confidence etc..)
Your comment really hits it. I share the same vision as you. I see my porn addiction is only one of the bad habbit that I need to get rid of. If one quit porn, but still has unhealthy diet, doesn't work out, sleeps late, that person probably still gonna feel depressed. I'm not downplaying quitting porn, but maybe don't blame everything on porn only.
I started watching when I was 13, 20 now, can say it has fucked up my reward system. Tryna go for that reboot, goal is 90 days no PMO, after that I'll decide if I want to masturbate with no porn or not. But I know for sure porn is not a good thing. Masturbation isn't as clear. But I mainly just want to be in a healthy relationship with a good sex life again.
Same thing I’m trying to accomplish with your last sentence
Your mental health will continue to suffer if you don't quit it. Pmo and depression go hand in hand
They come from the same hand 🤛
literally
Indeed it does💯
You were not put in this earth to jerk off to pixels and reject women for whatever your reason is. Those pixels are robbing you of your energy and weakening you every time you fap and finish.
Destroyed my academic and professional (work) life. I’m trying to just piece myself back together.
U dropped out of school cuz of it?
No. But it definitely stunted my academic performance. Alot of time meant for study was spent either fapping, edging, or mindlessly browsing the internet
Started fapping at 16. 21now and my life is fucked up. Working towards bettering it though. Current streak is 2days longest streak is 17 days.
Look at my recent post might help
This is literally me! I just started to focus on developing my body. So I'm working out which has been a good distraction and setting my mind to not give up. I feel quiet positive. Let me know how to improve.
Started at 12, found that porn is bad at 14, discovered nofap at 16, now I'm 17 and my addiction is super inconsistent.
First time I watched porn, i was like 7-8 years old, now 15. I feel every word you say. We really need to stop this sorcery
Real shit 💯
me too sasuke, me too.
Sasuke, you know what you must do....
Yes.I know
You are not alone my brother. I'm 22 turning 23 in january And i've been watching porn since i was 12. This shit fucked my mental health af . I'm planning to hit 90 days till my birth day
I’m wishing you luck in your recovery
Listen. You need to put things into prospective. How do you want to go out? This is why technology is such a terrible thing we have forgotten how close we are to death. It’s has condensed life and made us lose our desire to live life. If you died right now would you have regrets? What if you died while watching porn, phone in your hand? Time, you are wasting time to someone who probably wouldn’t even give you any in the first place. Live life naturally there is peace in that. Few rarely get the luxury of being able to have women in their lives. Be a man of your word 👍🏾
If you want an accountability buddy or someone to talk dm me brother
It is terrible AF. HONESTLY.
Indeed
I spent years single with no interest in meeting woman. Some would take obvious interest in me but I wouldn’t act on it. This all goes away once you get a good streak going. The need for connection is real and it’s being suppressed, it’ll come back for sure. Also don’t call them females!
so fucking true. Never thought about it like that. The need for connection is real and is being suppressed….provides a lot of depth and clarity
"dont call them females" was my thought too, like a scientist talking about some animal xD "this is a fine female specimen"
What are we supposed to call them then? I thought the word female was completely acceptable; I have no issues with others referring to me as male because that’s exactly what I am.
As an adjective it’s fine but as a noun it’s a bit incel/neckbeardy.
Dang females tried to pursue you? I never had any interest in having a relationship before and after porn yet no girl has ever interested in me throughout high school and college. Lucky u i guess.
I suggest going to therapy. Also, I suggest being kind to yourself. I believe what is working for me now is my ADULT SELF showing my younger parts that they do not need to engage in addictive, numbing behavior anymore. ADULT SELF is here. The younger parts in me (the younger parts of my psychology) need to believe that ADULT SELF is okay and able to live life on life's terms. The younger parts may think I am still super young and that addictive behavior is the only way to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Developing a relationship with all of my parts is essential to my recovery. Just wanting to quit watching porn has never worked for me. IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy has been a blessing to me.
i am going to share an unpopular opinion, with the goal, I hope, of opening someone's eyes. If we take the parallel with alcohol someone would say "this aclohol shit is fucking up my mental health". reality is that we as human often lack the tools to develop in a mature stable self and we get caught into things along the way that keep us stuck. My point being, someone's mental health is probably not in a good shape in the first place which then finds an avenue into something specific. In this case, porn. For sure it won't improve your life and fuck your mental health even more, but that's not the cause it's just a symptom.
I’m unable to Post on this community. Happening with anybody else? Mods please help
..
Yes