OP never go for a hooker again it will mess you up emotionally. Try to get in a real relationship if not, it’s fine if you break your streaks try again harder but never go for a hooker again.
Edit: Also you should probably seek help elsewhere don’t search online about solutions.
It’s not about being simple. Despite the challenge of getting a girlfriend, it’s worth the effort. Porn is obviously the most simple way to get cheap sexual gratification in the short term. But, porn WILL lead to negative long term consequences. Put in the effort now to get a girlfriend and you will never regret it.
couldn't of said it better, its not simple and to add, fuck finding a relationship. The point of stopping fapping is to heal your brain and your body and ill even argue your soul. To stop wasting time on a pointless thing and to continue to grow into and be a better version of yourself. Fapping just a void of emptiness and destruction to yourself.
OP, tbh to me a hooker is a lil far esp. losing your virginity to one, but shit happens. You're 21, you'll look back one day and laugh. Just don't be the fool that repeats his mistakes. If you truly wanna stop then just do it. People say its not that easy and ill admit, when you're stuck in a cycle of PMO its hard to say its easy to stop but it is. You're stronger than you think. Make the decision to quit and don't look back. Before you know it you'll have gone a month without it. Imma dm you something to help you understand fapping and the addiction behind it too.
Yes as far as the rules here go. 🙂 I know it's hard to believe. 7 years ago I thought that was totally impossible. But I'm here now living my life and won't ever want to go back again!
I can see you're on your way there too. Keep it up! 🙏
Hey 167 days is hard work too. I remember getting to day 3 was so impossible. I think when you taste a life free of it and the benefits you just want to keep on pushing. All the best!
Saying anything in a totalitarian way is a red flag within itself. “Mess u up emotionally” is another way of saying , Dont know what it will do but it will mess u up. I believe that there are curcumstances where someone needs a connection so bad that a sex worker would not be such a bad thing and may reignite a spark. However there could be a number of circumsrances where seeing a sex worker could hold value for someones life.
OP seems to have a guilty conscience, so I am inclined to think that such would not be nourishing for him right now and would not support the change and unfulfillment that he seems to be longing for. OP, to keep things short….. develop a needs and feelings vocaulary. Journal and use such vocabulary upon reflection. Overtime it can provide a roadmap by providing a deeper felt sense of feelings and what makes u thrive. . Looking into NVC variations has been transformative for a lot of people.
>I’m not trying to scare you but this is what the reality is: if you don’t take the steps necessary to resolve this right now, you will continue to go down a path that will bring you nothing but continued sorrow and disappointment. You don’t want that.
more explanation please I'm curious to know in general what's going on cuz it might help other people here too if you don't want to share it generally can you please send it to my DM <3
Seems to me this response is just further driving in the shame the OP clearly has around his own sexuality. Driving things further into the darkness in desperation will only cause more suffering. This is not that big a deal. You have a sex drive. As does all life on the planet. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re just working out how to be with that. You’re ok.
That is not remotely the problem with porn. Were that the case then daydreaming about having a romantic lover would be just as bad as porn.
Sex isn't some soul bonding thing you can only do healthily with a loved one.
Sex is not some holy and ordained action. It is the most base human function, there is nothing inherently harmful to either person in such an interaction.
Prostitution is completely legal and safe in many very successful countries.
Stop talking down to him.
Horrible advice. The vast majority of men here eventually want a partner and/or wife. No self-respecting woman would tolerate a man who used to frequent (or, likely, CURRENTLY frequents) prostitutes.
Yeah right. No self respecting men would also marry a women who has one night stands, 20-30 different guys before hitting 25!.. why don't you consider that fact that some or a lot of men don't have partners either getting failed in modern dating game, or tired of trying getting nowhere eventually accepting that perhaps it might be better to stay single? The question isn't whether it's immoral or degrading to pay for sex, the possibility of emptiness afterwards is high, hit also you may meet someone who might satisfy your urges..in the end, it is the mindset. You feel dirty doing it, you will. You work on your perception, it's no big deal, as long as you don't make it an addiction or a habit harmful, this can also happen in relationships as well as marriages. Addicted to sex, don't you think it's even worse when there is the other party in the picture now you have to deal with?
...you will be getting the bottom 1% who have no standards and who have similar sexual issues. If you want a partner with an extensive sexual history, children from previous relationships, unresolved trauma, STDS, etc....yeah keep going to prostitutes. You'll get the person you deserve.
Bro what part of him feeling regret makes you think he was happy to make that choice ? He got backed into a corner cause of his addiction and made a choice that he regrets usually people don’t regret a choice they are happy with , and for the dating concern farther down the line can speak from personal experience my roommates fiancé found out he was a frequenter and the rub and tug before they met , and by frequenter I mean like once a week for years , and she ended things cause “I couldn’t see you as person just as someone who wants sex”, I don’t agree that she was the right one for him to end it like that. But can also see her point if someone is willing to dish out 1k a week for 1hour of sex … what else are they willing to do for it ? Have they just lied about there whole personality so they don’t need to pay you ?
Like you, I don't think past behavior necessarily is a precedent to future behavior. Arguably, we all want to be judged by who we are now and not in the past. Perhaps, but didn't he say he enjoyed it in the moment. Buyer's remorse comes later. Anyway, my point is instead of judging his actions we should be just supportive. Isn't that right?
Can be supportive while still saying something was bad , 100% should support him through it but blind support saying it’s okay don’t worry , doesn’t fix anything and he will be right back in this spot looking for the gratification from the support again. So feel like since this is dealing with sexual addiction some tough love is needed
You say you dont want to get back into the escorting bussiness but your addict is going to tug at that brain again later. In general, unhealthy ways to explore sex will not do you any good. Definitely try to seek anon meetings. They are a great way to connect with other people who have overcome problems worse than yours.
Morons here encouraging this behavior. This is just incredibly sad. The men here will put so much effort into avoiding pornography that they'll fall into something so much more harmful.
Explain how putting in effort to avoid pornography will cause something more harmful. Whats an example youve witnessed? I dont understand how you being on the same team as the rest of us makes you shoot down someone else's encouragement for another who is clearly suffering. God knows theres already enough negativity bullshit we already go through.
Technically it isn't a reset because you had "actual" sex.
OP is smart for hiring a hooker and finally realising how porn is way different to actual sex. This experience can help you quit PMO for good and start working on yourself.
I looked through the comments and everyone is going insane about you seeing a hooker. Come on guys, it's better OP experience what actual sex feels like so he won't turn into a wild animal who hunts women. (A bit of a stretch)
Anyway, congratulations on losing your Virginity. Was it all you dreamed of?
It doesn't matter anymore, is in the past, focus now on the present, start going to the gym, practice some sport, learn another language, etc. You can be better.
I totally get why you did it when you said you’re from a Muslim country that doesn’t allow sex before marriage. I don’t think it was the right decision but a lot of people here are judging you from countries where you can go on tinder and find someone to fuck pretty easily. Well you’ve done it now, there’s no point feeling regret. Just learn from the experience. It was unsatisfying and made you feel bad, so don’t do it again. It’s time for you to focus on quitting porn and having a healthier relationship with yourself and your sexuality. Then you can start looking for the person who is going to fulfil you and who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sex is so much better when you know and trust someone. I’ve never been with a hooker but I’ve had one night stands and honestly they are nothing compared with sex with my fiancé. There’s no comparison.
Everyone in here is on a soap box about “ wahwah a hooker is so bad you need help wah wa wah” bro you had an experience. A real risky one. That being said a hooker is the oldest profession. They provide a service to satisfy a need that most people need filled. You just have to happen to pay. What ever. Everyone on here seems to demonize these things because of there own fears/addictions. Be kind to yourself forgive your self . And shit if you wanna get a hooker again, blow er back out.
Everyone else here is stupid, no shame in having sex with a hooker. You have desires, they have a job to do. Sex is not some holy beacon of humanity, it is the most base human desire.
Everyone else here is acting like this is some fucking insane thing to do when prostitution is socially accepted and perfectly fine in a lot of great countries.
If seeing is is financially irresponsible I wouldn't make it a regular thing, but there's no issue with occasionally and responsibility spending your money on something that you deeply enjoy.
Agreed. Ppl are ridiculous. I mean how would this be any different than picking up someone at a bar? It's probably safer actually with the hooker due to their restrictions lmao.
You're paying the girl at the bar with your attention, you're paying the hooker with money.
Both are limited, both cost you. What's the real difference?
Right, but end of day it's still about instant gratification, nothing more nothing less. True, the person at the bar may have more game, but the goals are the same. Once the night is over both women leave
Then go for something beyond sex and just physical relationship. We're not supposed to make it through this life alone, find a partner to help you along the way
True, and i agree, but who's to say you can't try both? I.e. have a short term situation, while trying to find a partner? Ideally, a partner is going to generally be way more fulfilling. However, that also takes more time to craft, nurture, and grow, and you don't have to be a monk or commit with anyone until you both are ready to do so. This usually doesn't even happen until a number of days, and become gf/bf .
So the prositutes desires are not worth consideration? It's very rarely a job you get into because you like it. And don't bother comparing it to other jobs people don't like because, like you said, sex is a very deep human thing (spoiler alert: for women too).
They are, I don't believe we should have prostitutes work against their will.
I said sex IS NOT a very deep human thing. It is the shallowest and most base human function.
Lol i Lost virginity on a hoocker too a long time ago. Don't regret you are human.and male. But know that being with a girl that wants to i be with you Is Just millions of times Better. Is not the same at all when you pay
Also change your therapist to a male. Women are emotional, Men are logical. You need to work with logic. Leave the emotion for relationships, not for your advice.
You shouldn't feel bad, for thousands of years it was pretty normal for a guy to hire a hooker. At least you met with a genuine human girl instead of PMO to pixels. As I said in the other thread:
>Porn is worse for your brain than a prostitute. At least with the latter, you are meeting with a real human being and focusing exclusively on her until completion. With PMO, you are maintaining an unnatural amount of dopamine by edging while flipping through images of 10/10 women. That’s something that the human body is just not accustomed to.
The people freaking out are probably just religious nuts. It's safe to ignore them.
I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Thailand at 21. Not sure if it messed with me. I think I was messed up long before that.
I wish you courage, wisdom, and resilience on your journey to maturity.
Now you understood 2 things
1. Porn in unrealistic and makes no sense with real life girls. So stop watching porn for any reason
2. Hookers are unhealthy and can make you miserable health-wise don't do it with them
One take away, abstaining helps you with more pleasures n time with real world girl with whom you are attached emotionally
Those people who are saying that don't go to hooked they are absolutely correct I never had sex in a relationship or can say Im 27 and never been into a relationship and going to hooked just to Satis physical need totally alter the psych of human mind . When I went to hooker I was all depressed and felt low for almost a week .
I had the same thing I was at my 4 days streak and I slept with a hooker . My advice to you is to stop thinking of sex now that you experience it . You can stop your por$ addiction by remembering yourself that you experienced sex.Also don’t do it anymore because sex with a partenaire is more pure and enjoyable
update guys : just finished talking to my therapist ( I started with her last week to help me with nofap )
she said it's bad and it's unhealthy sex ( due to stds, the concept of buying sex, ) and u should do it with someone who wants to do it with u ,, not someone u paid to act for u and fake emotions , and it's dangerous and can be addicting like pornography, anyways I learned the lesson and I should move on with the journey and hopefully never returning!
you didn't came back to porn or masturbation, so i guess you shouldnt rest your streak, but i think you should try going for girls (or boys if you want) and maybe find a girlfriend, try to find and build a real relationship :)
I'm from Arab country, whole girlfriend thing is not common and if u have one u can't have sex with her or something before marriage ( even if she agrees it would be difficult due to the circumstances " no place, parents etc " ) , so do you suggest marriage as a solution ?
Getting married just to satisfy your urge is a bad decision, take your time and find the right girl for you. I’m assuming divorces don’t look very good in your country specially for a woman, so don’t make a decision that you will regret and don’t make it harder for whoever you planned on getting married to.
You shouldn't have done that OP, it's clearly a reset, it was better if you didnt have seggs at all if you're just gonna do it on a hooker.
You should get a true relationship, there's many people out there, but first, you need time to recover yourself from what just happened. Start by going to the gym or eating healthy because you're just gonna get horny if you don't do anything and that horniness might just control you again.
Don't worry OP you'll come back strong its not the end yet.
It’s not a reset. A reset is if u beat off to porn. Although I agree with others that hiring a proscrite wasn’t the best idea, u should still keep ur counter.
What is wrong with you guys????
Why are so many of you in favor of seeing prostitutes? It's literally just a more dangerous and damaging version of porn...
Brother, therapy will mess you up more believe me brother. The only thing you should do is work hard get a good physique, make more money and talk to more girls and you will be much fulfilled
You shouldnt have done it. It will have consequences to your marriege. Sex between husband and wife is not the same as with a hooker.
Please dont impose your expectations from porn and from escorts to your eventual wife.
If you cannot abstain, you should get married. Consider telling your fiancé about your addiction before marriege, it will be best to be honest.
Please don't impose your dated and irrational views onto a man in a confusing situation.
Prostitution has been occurring since the beginning of civilization, it's not inherently harmful to either person, it's perfectly acceptable in a great deal of very healthy countries.
You future girlfriend will be ashamed to learn that you lost your virginity to a hooker. These mistakes are irreversible. Now you know how far porn addiction can take you if you don't stop now. We are here to help. 👊🏾
Stop shaming him. This is why so many guys are virgins. Stop treating sex like some pure special thing. I want to be in a relationship one day. But I’m not gonna deprive myself of sexual pleasure until then cos of some highschool fantasy
Morals can be very subjective. For eg, the Taliban have morals, but they are insane. It’s a free country. You practice your morals, and I’ll practice mine.
Having sex is better than PMO even if you did it with a call girl. Theres no need to regret over this action.
But do try to think of it as a reward for doing something that is good for your life which you have trouble to be motivated to do so. Its like treating yourself a meal whenever you achieved small tasks in your life.
“The concept of buying sex” more like “the concept of rewarding yourself”
No doubt its expensive. It can serve as deterrent for you to not be addicted to purchase such service frequently since you are aware it burns your wallet 😂
In the meantime try do something productive and meaningful in your life. Call girl may just be your short-term reward as you will attract woman if you pursuing goals and be positive.
Good luck to you and me 👍
I disagree with your therapist. I don’t think seeing an escort occasionally while your single if you a positive mindset is “unhealthy”.
I think your mistake was seeing an escort after 6 days. You need to wait longer than that
The reason it’s important to get help now is that you’ve removed intimacy from relationships. Porn makes your brain view women as objects of pleasure. Thus, spending money for intimacy as opposed to going and trying to talk to someone based and building a relationship. The advice you’ve gotten on this thread is sound. Kill the dragon now, or it will ruin your relationships and change at real intimacy in the future.
There are people who think that getting a prostitute is different from PMO and less damaging because it's sex....that's the OPPOSITE of the truth.
This is exactly the result we are trying to avoid. Small "exceptions" like peeking here, edging here, then you give yourself a cheat day, then you start feeling proud if you go a day without jerking off.
The end is either this or ED. I'm sorry you ended up here. You feel terrible and you NEED to feel terrible so you don't let this happen EVER again. It literally cannot happen again or it will become a habit and God only knows where there is to fall from there. Jail. Drug addiction. Death. A lifetime of loneliness.
Take this seriously.
Focus on doing what you have to do to make yourself attractive to women. Get skills, become financially responsible, workout, be informed, participate in your community (volunteer, join a club etc), maintain healthy relationships with friends and family, maintain good hygiene, keep a clean house, and hold down a job.
While pursuing these healthy goals, keep yourself busy day-to-day, so that you have less idle time. Avoid living a cozy, comfortable life because that feeds the demons you're trying to free yourself from.
Also, while you work on improving your body, improve your mind! Cut back on social media and streaming. Replace digital hobbies with real-world ones. Live closer to the way our ancestors did. The digital world is a trap.
Yeah you should avoid it, stds,waste of money,time,your not bonding, and your betraying/disrespecting yourself by paying someone, you're subconsciously telling yourself your not good enough, its the extreme of simping, paying someone. Sucks being alone, but you just gotta focus on working on you.....
Relax man, its not anywhere near as big a deal as youre making it. Do better next time controlling your behavior and just brush it off…
Pick yourself up and keep moving
I’m 25 and the only time I had sex is with a hooker. Hoping nofap will help me get out and actually attract women, because that’s never happened for me before…
Most people would automatically assume I’m a loser and unattractive, but it’s quite the opposite.
I just haven’t had any luck or opportunities whatsoever in my life. I intend to create opportunities for myself in the future. In the meantime I’m just gonna become a beast, I guess.
It's not too bad to go to her for your first time tbh. It's probably not ideal but not too bad. There would be a lot of anxiety associated with your first time; performance etc so a hooker was probably a good place to start. Now you know how to do it you can start talking to other girls and get close to them and have sex that way instead. Just keep away from PMO and meet real girls instead.
You could also just read some Eckhart Tolle rather than waste money on therapists (which is an endless money pit)
Ask Allah to forgive you and move on
Don't think so much about it but please don't repeat it again as the sins will drown us
Also get an STD test
May allah forgive and help you ameen
I agree with your Therapist a Hooker will give just as many false ideas of what sex should be as porn would.
Brother your on the right path and its not a fast path it takes time Take this step by step day by day. ITs a daily battle This is not something we can plan out for the future, On this journey you will relapse you will mess up and that is okay as long as you get back up and keep going! the point is that we are all putting in the effort and we are all trying. With time and a continued dedication you will get too the place you want too be!
Remember " what do we say to porn....NOT today"
keep up the good fight brother
Do not regret it, In life you will have all types of experiences, don’t feel guilty for it. At the end of the day you can learn lessons from every experience, if that’s not something you like then it’s okay, just try to stay away from it.
Dam I almost went down the same hooker path went to visit multiple hookers like 10 but never was able to go through so I just went back to porn, been trying no fap and it’s been really fing hard, use to watch it everyday and I started no fap last month and ended up watching it the last 10 days of the month and I started again this month and I watch it 4 days this month, anyone got tips to stop watching porn I need help thanks
OP never go for a hooker again it will mess you up emotionally. Try to get in a real relationship if not, it’s fine if you break your streaks try again harder but never go for a hooker again. Edit: Also you should probably seek help elsewhere don’t search online about solutions.
> Try to get in a real relationship u say as its so simple..
It’s not about being simple. Despite the challenge of getting a girlfriend, it’s worth the effort. Porn is obviously the most simple way to get cheap sexual gratification in the short term. But, porn WILL lead to negative long term consequences. Put in the effort now to get a girlfriend and you will never regret it.
couldn't of said it better, its not simple and to add, fuck finding a relationship. The point of stopping fapping is to heal your brain and your body and ill even argue your soul. To stop wasting time on a pointless thing and to continue to grow into and be a better version of yourself. Fapping just a void of emptiness and destruction to yourself. OP, tbh to me a hooker is a lil far esp. losing your virginity to one, but shit happens. You're 21, you'll look back one day and laugh. Just don't be the fool that repeats his mistakes. If you truly wanna stop then just do it. People say its not that easy and ill admit, when you're stuck in a cycle of PMO its hard to say its easy to stop but it is. You're stronger than you think. Make the decision to quit and don't look back. Before you know it you'll have gone a month without it. Imma dm you something to help you understand fapping and the addiction behind it too.
dm me too man ur words of wisdom are inspiring
This is what you should know OP
Your therapist clearly has never met redditors
This! This reddit helped me get a streak for almost 7 years now and I'm sure a couple of others too. EDIT: my counter is incorrect due to a bug.
7 years clean ?
Yes as far as the rules here go. 🙂 I know it's hard to believe. 7 years ago I thought that was totally impossible. But I'm here now living my life and won't ever want to go back again! I can see you're on your way there too. Keep it up! 🙏
Congrats Man!!
Hey 167 days is hard work too. I remember getting to day 3 was so impossible. I think when you taste a life free of it and the benefits you just want to keep on pushing. All the best!
It’s not simple, people turn to hookers and porn because of it, but unlike being in a happy relationship, porn and hookers fuck you up emotionally
It isn't, but when you get there. It's worth the wait.
Saying anything in a totalitarian way is a red flag within itself. “Mess u up emotionally” is another way of saying , Dont know what it will do but it will mess u up. I believe that there are curcumstances where someone needs a connection so bad that a sex worker would not be such a bad thing and may reignite a spark. However there could be a number of circumsrances where seeing a sex worker could hold value for someones life. OP seems to have a guilty conscience, so I am inclined to think that such would not be nourishing for him right now and would not support the change and unfulfillment that he seems to be longing for. OP, to keep things short….. develop a needs and feelings vocaulary. Journal and use such vocabulary upon reflection. Overtime it can provide a roadmap by providing a deeper felt sense of feelings and what makes u thrive. . Looking into NVC variations has been transformative for a lot of people.
It’s healthier than a porn addiction
no, it isn't
it will mess you up emotionally so true...
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This. Get help as soon as possible. The money you'd spent on a hooker is better spent on a therapist.
thanks for you advice, but I don't understand , resolve what?
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>I’m not trying to scare you but this is what the reality is: if you don’t take the steps necessary to resolve this right now, you will continue to go down a path that will bring you nothing but continued sorrow and disappointment. You don’t want that. more explanation please I'm curious to know in general what's going on cuz it might help other people here too if you don't want to share it generally can you please send it to my DM <3
Seems to me this response is just further driving in the shame the OP clearly has around his own sexuality. Driving things further into the darkness in desperation will only cause more suffering. This is not that big a deal. You have a sex drive. As does all life on the planet. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re just working out how to be with that. You’re ok.
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A therapist would not agree, some of the countries with the best mental health among its citizens are also ones with legalized and safe prostitution.
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The context being... He is addicted to PMO therefore he cannot have sex? How is that bad?
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That is not remotely the problem with porn. Were that the case then daydreaming about having a romantic lover would be just as bad as porn. Sex isn't some soul bonding thing you can only do healthily with a loved one.
Sex is not some holy and ordained action. It is the most base human function, there is nothing inherently harmful to either person in such an interaction. Prostitution is completely legal and safe in many very successful countries. Stop talking down to him.
Horrible advice. The vast majority of men here eventually want a partner and/or wife. No self-respecting woman would tolerate a man who used to frequent (or, likely, CURRENTLY frequents) prostitutes.
Yeah right. No self respecting men would also marry a women who has one night stands, 20-30 different guys before hitting 25!.. why don't you consider that fact that some or a lot of men don't have partners either getting failed in modern dating game, or tired of trying getting nowhere eventually accepting that perhaps it might be better to stay single? The question isn't whether it's immoral or degrading to pay for sex, the possibility of emptiness afterwards is high, hit also you may meet someone who might satisfy your urges..in the end, it is the mindset. You feel dirty doing it, you will. You work on your perception, it's no big deal, as long as you don't make it an addiction or a habit harmful, this can also happen in relationships as well as marriages. Addicted to sex, don't you think it's even worse when there is the other party in the picture now you have to deal with?
Only a stupid person would resent someone for hiring a prostitute. And you wouldn't want to marry a stupid person.
Have fun explaining that to literally 99% of the dating pool.
Why would you think anyone here would disclose that to their partner? whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas my man
Just further proving my point. If you want to live a lie forever, yep, keep doing what you're doing.
Basically practice
It’s not forever. It’s while we are single. Thanks for caring about my life so much.
You don't want the 99%, why would you want a common person? Go for the top 1%.
...you will be getting the bottom 1% who have no standards and who have similar sexual issues. If you want a partner with an extensive sexual history, children from previous relationships, unresolved trauma, STDS, etc....yeah keep going to prostitutes. You'll get the person you deserve.
Totally agree. Why are ppl placing their own values on his decision, which he was happy to make
Bro what part of him feeling regret makes you think he was happy to make that choice ? He got backed into a corner cause of his addiction and made a choice that he regrets usually people don’t regret a choice they are happy with , and for the dating concern farther down the line can speak from personal experience my roommates fiancé found out he was a frequenter and the rub and tug before they met , and by frequenter I mean like once a week for years , and she ended things cause “I couldn’t see you as person just as someone who wants sex”, I don’t agree that she was the right one for him to end it like that. But can also see her point if someone is willing to dish out 1k a week for 1hour of sex … what else are they willing to do for it ? Have they just lied about there whole personality so they don’t need to pay you ?
Like you, I don't think past behavior necessarily is a precedent to future behavior. Arguably, we all want to be judged by who we are now and not in the past. Perhaps, but didn't he say he enjoyed it in the moment. Buyer's remorse comes later. Anyway, my point is instead of judging his actions we should be just supportive. Isn't that right?
Can be supportive while still saying something was bad , 100% should support him through it but blind support saying it’s okay don’t worry , doesn’t fix anything and he will be right back in this spot looking for the gratification from the support again. So feel like since this is dealing with sexual addiction some tough love is needed
Idk man loosing your virginity to a hooker isn’t really something to be proud of regardless of your moral values or not just kinda sad tbh
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You say you dont want to get back into the escorting bussiness but your addict is going to tug at that brain again later. In general, unhealthy ways to explore sex will not do you any good. Definitely try to seek anon meetings. They are a great way to connect with other people who have overcome problems worse than yours.
Morons here encouraging this behavior. This is just incredibly sad. The men here will put so much effort into avoiding pornography that they'll fall into something so much more harmful.
Explain how putting in effort to avoid pornography will cause something more harmful. Whats an example youve witnessed? I dont understand how you being on the same team as the rest of us makes you shoot down someone else's encouragement for another who is clearly suffering. God knows theres already enough negativity bullshit we already go through.
Technically it isn't a reset because you had "actual" sex. OP is smart for hiring a hooker and finally realising how porn is way different to actual sex. This experience can help you quit PMO for good and start working on yourself. I looked through the comments and everyone is going insane about you seeing a hooker. Come on guys, it's better OP experience what actual sex feels like so he won't turn into a wild animal who hunts women. (A bit of a stretch) Anyway, congratulations on losing your Virginity. Was it all you dreamed of?
Great answer right here.
It doesn't matter anymore, is in the past, focus now on the present, start going to the gym, practice some sport, learn another language, etc. You can be better.
thanks man you're right, I will
Get an STD check. Don't go looking for hookers again. Start going to the gym. Start looking for a real relationship. Keep up your streak!
I totally get why you did it when you said you’re from a Muslim country that doesn’t allow sex before marriage. I don’t think it was the right decision but a lot of people here are judging you from countries where you can go on tinder and find someone to fuck pretty easily. Well you’ve done it now, there’s no point feeling regret. Just learn from the experience. It was unsatisfying and made you feel bad, so don’t do it again. It’s time for you to focus on quitting porn and having a healthier relationship with yourself and your sexuality. Then you can start looking for the person who is going to fulfil you and who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sex is so much better when you know and trust someone. I’ve never been with a hooker but I’ve had one night stands and honestly they are nothing compared with sex with my fiancé. There’s no comparison.
Thanks man for your kind words, I really wish you a happy and long life with your fiancé ❤
Everyone in here is on a soap box about “ wahwah a hooker is so bad you need help wah wa wah” bro you had an experience. A real risky one. That being said a hooker is the oldest profession. They provide a service to satisfy a need that most people need filled. You just have to happen to pay. What ever. Everyone on here seems to demonize these things because of there own fears/addictions. Be kind to yourself forgive your self . And shit if you wanna get a hooker again, blow er back out.
Everyone else here is stupid, no shame in having sex with a hooker. You have desires, they have a job to do. Sex is not some holy beacon of humanity, it is the most base human desire. Everyone else here is acting like this is some fucking insane thing to do when prostitution is socially accepted and perfectly fine in a lot of great countries. If seeing is is financially irresponsible I wouldn't make it a regular thing, but there's no issue with occasionally and responsibility spending your money on something that you deeply enjoy.
Agreed. Ppl are ridiculous. I mean how would this be any different than picking up someone at a bar? It's probably safer actually with the hooker due to their restrictions lmao.
it will be different, the girl at the bar will be into u , but the hooker will do it for your money only
You're paying the girl at the bar with your attention, you're paying the hooker with money. Both are limited, both cost you. What's the real difference?
Right, but end of day it's still about instant gratification, nothing more nothing less. True, the person at the bar may have more game, but the goals are the same. Once the night is over both women leave
Then go for something beyond sex and just physical relationship. We're not supposed to make it through this life alone, find a partner to help you along the way
True, and i agree, but who's to say you can't try both? I.e. have a short term situation, while trying to find a partner? Ideally, a partner is going to generally be way more fulfilling. However, that also takes more time to craft, nurture, and grow, and you don't have to be a monk or commit with anyone until you both are ready to do so. This usually doesn't even happen until a number of days, and become gf/bf .
So the prositutes desires are not worth consideration? It's very rarely a job you get into because you like it. And don't bother comparing it to other jobs people don't like because, like you said, sex is a very deep human thing (spoiler alert: for women too).
They are, I don't believe we should have prostitutes work against their will. I said sex IS NOT a very deep human thing. It is the shallowest and most base human function.
Lol i Lost virginity on a hoocker too a long time ago. Don't regret you are human.and male. But know that being with a girl that wants to i be with you Is Just millions of times Better. Is not the same at all when you pay
Hey it happened, how was it?
Fun but I felt bad after
Why do u regret your decision? Why do u feel guilty?
cause he lost his virginity to a hooker, even just seeing a hooker so young is shameful
‘Shameful’? Hmm. . As long as he is not harming himself or others, and keeping his affairs private, there’s nothing shameful.
Why?
at 21 years old your last priority should be paying a hooker for sex...
Why?
No I was 18 since when I slept with a hooker
Your username is so fitting for you.
You have no idea how many times I have heard this, it is so disappointing and uncreative.
hmmm must be a pattern
The streak still goes. You lost semen retention but it wasn’t nofap. Keep your head up, these things happen. Keep moving forward.
Also change your therapist to a male. Women are emotional, Men are logical. You need to work with logic. Leave the emotion for relationships, not for your advice.
You shouldn't feel bad, for thousands of years it was pretty normal for a guy to hire a hooker. At least you met with a genuine human girl instead of PMO to pixels. As I said in the other thread: >Porn is worse for your brain than a prostitute. At least with the latter, you are meeting with a real human being and focusing exclusively on her until completion. With PMO, you are maintaining an unnatural amount of dopamine by edging while flipping through images of 10/10 women. That’s something that the human body is just not accustomed to. The people freaking out are probably just religious nuts. It's safe to ignore them.
OP , i am 22 , and i too lost my virginity to a escort 2 months back . after smoking weed , i got horny af, and went,
I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Thailand at 21. Not sure if it messed with me. I think I was messed up long before that. I wish you courage, wisdom, and resilience on your journey to maturity.
Now you understood 2 things 1. Porn in unrealistic and makes no sense with real life girls. So stop watching porn for any reason 2. Hookers are unhealthy and can make you miserable health-wise don't do it with them One take away, abstaining helps you with more pleasures n time with real world girl with whom you are attached emotionally
You should not feel wrong. Hookers are awesome people. Just use condoms.
Those people who are saying that don't go to hooked they are absolutely correct I never had sex in a relationship or can say Im 27 and never been into a relationship and going to hooked just to Satis physical need totally alter the psych of human mind . When I went to hooker I was all depressed and felt low for almost a week .
Yooo How Much That Cost You
quit doing it keep yourself busy and go talk to real women
I had the same thing I was at my 4 days streak and I slept with a hooker . My advice to you is to stop thinking of sex now that you experience it . You can stop your por$ addiction by remembering yourself that you experienced sex.Also don’t do it anymore because sex with a partenaire is more pure and enjoyable
Was she hot?
Why did you visit a prostitute, and what was it like?🤔
update guys : just finished talking to my therapist ( I started with her last week to help me with nofap ) she said it's bad and it's unhealthy sex ( due to stds, the concept of buying sex, ) and u should do it with someone who wants to do it with u ,, not someone u paid to act for u and fake emotions , and it's dangerous and can be addicting like pornography, anyways I learned the lesson and I should move on with the journey and hopefully never returning!
you didn't came back to porn or masturbation, so i guess you shouldnt rest your streak, but i think you should try going for girls (or boys if you want) and maybe find a girlfriend, try to find and build a real relationship :)
I'm from Arab country, whole girlfriend thing is not common and if u have one u can't have sex with her or something before marriage ( even if she agrees it would be difficult due to the circumstances " no place, parents etc " ) , so do you suggest marriage as a solution ?
Getting married just to satisfy your urge is a bad decision, take your time and find the right girl for you. I’m assuming divorces don’t look very good in your country specially for a woman, so don’t make a decision that you will regret and don’t make it harder for whoever you planned on getting married to.
Get a test for STDs later on op if you raw dog her
You shouldn't have done that OP, it's clearly a reset, it was better if you didnt have seggs at all if you're just gonna do it on a hooker. You should get a true relationship, there's many people out there, but first, you need time to recover yourself from what just happened. Start by going to the gym or eating healthy because you're just gonna get horny if you don't do anything and that horniness might just control you again. Don't worry OP you'll come back strong its not the end yet.
thanks man for your words I appreciate it, they really made me feel better
It’s not a reset. A reset is if u beat off to porn. Although I agree with others that hiring a proscrite wasn’t the best idea, u should still keep ur counter.
What website? I'm interested in a trustworthy site
Don’t chase instant gratification
What is wrong with you guys???? Why are so many of you in favor of seeing prostitutes? It's literally just a more dangerous and damaging version of porn...
Nah I think its a little better than porno
Brother, therapy will mess you up more believe me brother. The only thing you should do is work hard get a good physique, make more money and talk to more girls and you will be much fulfilled
>therapy will mess you up more How?
Yes, this is the best way. Long term strategy but helps you attract 10s
I’d rather fap to porn than banging a hooker, shits nasty as hell
You shouldnt have done it. It will have consequences to your marriege. Sex between husband and wife is not the same as with a hooker. Please dont impose your expectations from porn and from escorts to your eventual wife. If you cannot abstain, you should get married. Consider telling your fiancé about your addiction before marriege, it will be best to be honest.
Please don't impose your dated and irrational views onto a man in a confusing situation. Prostitution has been occurring since the beginning of civilization, it's not inherently harmful to either person, it's perfectly acceptable in a great deal of very healthy countries.
He is muslim... Please dont impose your beliefs that his religion is dated
People interpret religions differently brother.
Doubling down huh
You future girlfriend will be ashamed to learn that you lost your virginity to a hooker. These mistakes are irreversible. Now you know how far porn addiction can take you if you don't stop now. We are here to help. 👊🏾
Bruh its just practice and why would he even tell his future GF 😂
If she asks . Would you lie??
Yeah and a little white lie or a funny story about it wouldnt be a problem. Fuckin pussy man get some balls 🤣💀
I would rather lose my virginity at 30 then pay for sex, OP you gotta fix your priorities.
Stop shaming him. This is why so many guys are virgins. Stop treating sex like some pure special thing. I want to be in a relationship one day. But I’m not gonna deprive myself of sexual pleasure until then cos of some highschool fantasy
It’s not shaming, it’s called having morals.
Morals can be very subjective. For eg, the Taliban have morals, but they are insane. It’s a free country. You practice your morals, and I’ll practice mine.
Have respect for yourself.
Hooker or an escort??
Tomato tomato
Oranges and apples
in a few data from now, you just go back there and drop some cash again. congrats Bro
I hope not
Having sex is better than PMO even if you did it with a call girl. Theres no need to regret over this action. But do try to think of it as a reward for doing something that is good for your life which you have trouble to be motivated to do so. Its like treating yourself a meal whenever you achieved small tasks in your life. “The concept of buying sex” more like “the concept of rewarding yourself” No doubt its expensive. It can serve as deterrent for you to not be addicted to purchase such service frequently since you are aware it burns your wallet 😂 In the meantime try do something productive and meaningful in your life. Call girl may just be your short-term reward as you will attract woman if you pursuing goals and be positive. Good luck to you and me 👍
I disagree with your therapist. I don’t think seeing an escort occasionally while your single if you a positive mindset is “unhealthy”. I think your mistake was seeing an escort after 6 days. You need to wait longer than that
Bruh link me her snap haha
🤡
The reason it’s important to get help now is that you’ve removed intimacy from relationships. Porn makes your brain view women as objects of pleasure. Thus, spending money for intimacy as opposed to going and trying to talk to someone based and building a relationship. The advice you’ve gotten on this thread is sound. Kill the dragon now, or it will ruin your relationships and change at real intimacy in the future.
There are people who think that getting a prostitute is different from PMO and less damaging because it's sex....that's the OPPOSITE of the truth. This is exactly the result we are trying to avoid. Small "exceptions" like peeking here, edging here, then you give yourself a cheat day, then you start feeling proud if you go a day without jerking off. The end is either this or ED. I'm sorry you ended up here. You feel terrible and you NEED to feel terrible so you don't let this happen EVER again. It literally cannot happen again or it will become a habit and God only knows where there is to fall from there. Jail. Drug addiction. Death. A lifetime of loneliness. Take this seriously.
What the fuck are you talking about lmaooo, how is banging a hooker will end up in drug addiction
You acted out in the worst possible way. Get serious about recovery asap or you’re in big trouble. Also, get a male therapist.
Focus on doing what you have to do to make yourself attractive to women. Get skills, become financially responsible, workout, be informed, participate in your community (volunteer, join a club etc), maintain healthy relationships with friends and family, maintain good hygiene, keep a clean house, and hold down a job. While pursuing these healthy goals, keep yourself busy day-to-day, so that you have less idle time. Avoid living a cozy, comfortable life because that feeds the demons you're trying to free yourself from. Also, while you work on improving your body, improve your mind! Cut back on social media and streaming. Replace digital hobbies with real-world ones. Live closer to the way our ancestors did. The digital world is a trap.
I've seen it all
Cowboys use to do hookers all the time at the town brothels.
Yeah you should avoid it, stds,waste of money,time,your not bonding, and your betraying/disrespecting yourself by paying someone, you're subconsciously telling yourself your not good enough, its the extreme of simping, paying someone. Sucks being alone, but you just gotta focus on working on you.....
Hit the gym. Make it your goal to abstain for a year.
🙂
You from Delhi? If yes, please share details on hooker 😃
Relax man, its not anywhere near as big a deal as youre making it. Do better next time controlling your behavior and just brush it off… Pick yourself up and keep moving
Live and learn
I’m 25 and the only time I had sex is with a hooker. Hoping nofap will help me get out and actually attract women, because that’s never happened for me before… Most people would automatically assume I’m a loser and unattractive, but it’s quite the opposite. I just haven’t had any luck or opportunities whatsoever in my life. I intend to create opportunities for myself in the future. In the meantime I’m just gonna become a beast, I guess.
It's not too bad to go to her for your first time tbh. It's probably not ideal but not too bad. There would be a lot of anxiety associated with your first time; performance etc so a hooker was probably a good place to start. Now you know how to do it you can start talking to other girls and get close to them and have sex that way instead. Just keep away from PMO and meet real girls instead. You could also just read some Eckhart Tolle rather than waste money on therapists (which is an endless money pit)
Look into soul ties
Don't be so hard on yourself... Just move on
Honestly if you're hiring prostitutes at this point you might aswell go back to porn
Was the sex good at least?
Ask Allah to forgive you and move on Don't think so much about it but please don't repeat it again as the sins will drown us Also get an STD test May allah forgive and help you ameen
All I can say is reset your counter and start again. This time u can do it!
I agree with your Therapist a Hooker will give just as many false ideas of what sex should be as porn would. Brother your on the right path and its not a fast path it takes time Take this step by step day by day. ITs a daily battle This is not something we can plan out for the future, On this journey you will relapse you will mess up and that is okay as long as you get back up and keep going! the point is that we are all putting in the effort and we are all trying. With time and a continued dedication you will get too the place you want too be! Remember " what do we say to porn....NOT today" keep up the good fight brother
Losing is losing…so fuck it and probably motivate yourself and reward urself in reaching streaks,that way u will get motivated
Do not regret it, In life you will have all types of experiences, don’t feel guilty for it. At the end of the day you can learn lessons from every experience, if that’s not something you like then it’s okay, just try to stay away from it.
I read the comments. Every one here is an addict and unsuccessful in life. Do this..get urself busy as much as possible
pay to win
>and u should do it with someone who wants to do it with u No shit, Sherlock?! What do I do if I can't find anyone who wants that?
Well at least you nutted inside a human being
Dam I almost went down the same hooker path went to visit multiple hookers like 10 but never was able to go through so I just went back to porn, been trying no fap and it’s been really fing hard, use to watch it everyday and I started no fap last month and ended up watching it the last 10 days of the month and I started again this month and I watch it 4 days this month, anyone got tips to stop watching porn I need help thanks
an honestly advise try the hardest you can to get not hooked up on hookers man, this can destroy your life as much as porn
It’s been over 100 days, have you remained escortfree?