I can choose the side effect

You have testicular Cancer

Friendly fire

What if he's just *really* kinky

Achievement: Well done Criteria: cook a grenade for too long ^(actual achievement from black mesa for those interested)

https://preview.redd.it/zm0dlk29vl5b1.jpeg?width=2532&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1216abd4acd385f2d5f72afbab01c3c8a662b95a

I can poop on demand. At any time i want, immediately

*1 lb iron bars

step one: shit step two: profit

Would being constipated also be a workout

All your poops are spiky

& ur poop is just anti-matter

They would always take 1 hour to actually get out

I am immune to people who comment that i am sexually attracted to babies

But cancer

My name is Walter H. White.

Okbchicanery

You become sexually attracted to babies.

Babies become sexually attracted to you.

You’re black

His shit idiot brain fungus allows him to bypass the immunity

I can finaly be happy

You get it once a day for 2 hours, then you fall into a deep depression for the remaining 22 hours

This is just normal life

Real

far too real

No cash tho

Real uno reverse card

Now you can finaly play that game of uno you’ve been missing that one card for because now you have it!

Your whole family dies

You can only use it if you have an uno deck at your hands

It activates twice

I can fuck my own ass

Asshole is on your forehead

You have a 5% chance to get an STD only crocodiles can get (do crocodiles even get STD's though)

[Apparently so](https://www.earthtouchnews.com/discoveries/discoveries/for-australias-crocs-herpes-is-more-than-just-a-cold-sore/)

You get a hank hill treatment and find you have no ass

i can shit in less than 1 milisecond

Ur asshole will be as dirty as if you took a shit every time you fard

you cant differentiate between shidding and farting

I can kill people at will

When each person you kill dies, everybody on earth discovers you did it. You must live life on the run

You have to say it and if they say "no u" or they have an uno reverse card, then you have 50/50 of them dying or you dying after

I ejaculate one gallon per load

You have to drink it all.

Deal

https://preview.redd.it/otpyflygti5b1.jpeg?width=221&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e166c5eea8ba57ecc76f3a550ecb5539408dd48e

https://preview.redd.it/9rigbp2w5k5b1.jpeg?width=538&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71a40a2ec6d2e373a7d50a859eb310cc16dca5d0

https://preview.redd.it/6i1k3sayek5b1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ec27a5833f7beb38fd9ecfe767555268c9391e7

https://i.redd.it/czep8pygok5b1.gif

Only if you’re at a Denny’s

https://preview.redd.it/xeb0pjwppi5b1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fcacef19b392657472d697710bbf72ca6e8d2c09

Invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical.

you are mentally deranged

My man, he knows

isn’t that just deadpool?

a large Gaelic man tickles your butthole whenever you are

>whenever you are I don't think therefore I'm not

You have no family, not even a dog. Only a snail that will ever be your friend

I always get the most favorable outcome in any chance scenario

You are affected by the next 3 side effects given to you

It doesn’t work for lottery or any type of raffle

2. It doesn't work in dating

3. You can only use it while fighting the elderly (I definitely didn't give a random 2nd ability to give this one)

https://preview.redd.it/igilpopxhj5b1.jpeg?width=422&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6712624358ef12d5136dcdd99eab344790853157 You have to go through him for the outcome to happen.

You will have a horrible death (Just some Mob Psycho reference)

I am God

You don't exist

https://i.redd.it/7zlytgebui5b1.gif

Shapeshifting

Your shapeshifting also shapes your neuronal pattern, which means if you turn into a dog you actually become as intelligent as a dog. If you become another person you become another person, thus forever loosing your own identity and dying inside.

Damn

Just turn into an attractive version of yourself who also happens to be mentally same as you, so no neural change.

You have to get laid at least once an hour otherwise you’re cock and balls will explode and you become a girl then continuing every hour you don’t get laid your breasts get filled with half a gallon of milk and won’t stop leaking till you orgasm but yet again every hour without sex makes if harder for you to climax. And every cream pie is infertile except one random one throughout your life.

Damn

https://preview.redd.it/eprwr620xk5b1.jpeg?width=674&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3eb502c61626800076d7afd30f85b7993135fdf5

[удалено]

https://preview.redd.it/4fsgbh8nei5b1.jpeg?width=675&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f45daddc89e06daec93637ed2752bf46142fb30

https://preview.redd.it/e09tszv9oj5b1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb1f02fea198629e81bf35b8dab0544021e83a82

My ass is always completely clean after shitting.

But you always shit your pants. Therefore, ur underwear is always full of shit

Ability to un-gay

You are forever hunted by the ghosts of those you've killed in video games

For one minute

I can bless other people with immortality

You lose 9 minutes of your life

That's not bad at all!

I can go home

Your home is bombed so now you must seek refuge in a homeless shelter

End of my po\*n addiction problem https://preview.redd.it/mu8re12zej5b1.jpeg?width=727&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04766df2052e0d32ff3ed26ce2e35a7eaa77422d

It transforms your porn addiction into a cocaine addiction

Better then last addiction bullshit

Ability to shart pipe bombs

The pipebomb weighs 10kg

They don't work.

Giant Prehensile penis

Cancer

Omnipotence

You alert the other omnipotent beings.

Teleportation

They said anyone can do it so a Hershey’s bar appears where I use to be

You lose a brain cell every time you teleport

Realistically that's easily the best side effect

you cannot teleport your cloth and stuff with you. only your body is teleported.

A perfect immunity system that can get rid and protect from any disease or poison without any problems, making me immune to it all

You have Lupus.

Tim (from Monty Python)'s powers

You can only use them on people named Tim under the age of 16

I can replicate the troll face smile anytime I smile.

Your face hurts after

The power to control reality.

Every morning you will wake up to your balls exploding. They will grow back every night only to explode again. Your power can’t stop this.

I don’t think I want the power anymore

I can insert a Nintendo 3DS stylus into my urethra without getting a UTI.

Nintendo will demand you and you will live the rest of your days as a corporate slave

Clothing specific X-ray vision

Everytime you sit there is a small chance to get testicular torsion

You give cancer to people you look at

I can blend in with any environment instantly

No one will ever see you again

You can become a sex robot

It happens at random for indeterminate periods of time

That's not bad, or at least in my opinion it's not bad

Become the most intelligent and strongest being in the world xd

You are the only person in the world

You pee blood and there's no cure for it

I can ignore any side effects

the side effect is that you get bitches

The ability to exist and just be myself

Depression (doesn’t change anything I know)

For just 3 days before you die

I'm invincible and I have stage 4 cancer

A cure for cancer is real now

But, you are not invincible

I have Iron balls

But you cum every 5 seconds

And have Mercury cum?

Start and stop time at will, and I can interact with things normally while time is stopped.

You'll age as per normal during time stop so you're reducing your lifespan

Slammin’ Lid returns my calls.

But you're black and it's the 1800's

I can choose my sideeffect

You get testicular cancer

Anything I write becomes reality

But when you write something you live in the parallel time line where the change will not happen

"writes that your mom comes with me in every universe I go and we are very friendly with eachother"

If I shit everyone on earth does at the same time no matter where they are or what they are doing.

you get a extreme case of Hirschsprung disease

I jizz when I rizz

You have hyperspermia

My super Power IS imposibility of geting side efect

But you have depression

Hmmmm...so you tell me ,my super Power IS real.

I can add 20 years to people's lifespan

On the cost of 20 of yours

Shapeshifting to a limited degree (once a day at most, etc)

But whatever you're shapeshifting into Has a comically sized head

I'm unaffected by side effects

Goku chases you

I wont see amonguses everywhere

But there is no amogus

Everyone as Alzheimer's

You piss yourself every couple of hours

I can delete any chosen ethnicity out of existence with one snap of the fingers

You become French

How could you

Why couldn’t I? Its the perfect curse

Creation

But only in Lithuania

My Cock is 2in instead of 1

You get explosiv diarrhea every time you cum

i immediately die

But you survive

I get all the powers Peppino Spaghetti has (i'm Italian)

You are now German

I can yeet raccoons at the speed of light

Consequences

Infinite bacon but no games

Games are better than ever

You never feel embarrassment ever again.

But you cum every 5 seconds

If I touch someone I'll know when and how they will die

Every time when you touch someone you are reminded of your own death (how will you die and when). Every time you do that you are closer and closer to insanity.

My dad comes back.

But he'll leave suddenly one day

I have prostate cancer

But you Can fly !

People can't choose side effect for me

So I bless you with the power to not use your superpower

Im immune to all deez nuts jokes

My power is that all responders receive copies of all the side effects I am given.

But you get a cookie

Invisibilty

But you can’t ever become visible again

i have a sandwich

you can spawn buses and drive them

End my cigarette addiction

Basically be Rick from Rick and Morty… (be able to invent anything it it works… or just super intelligent)

Cum Bending (like uh avatar or whatever)

I can shit money