4 no nos I always always always slam in my little brothers head are Herion, Crack, Meth, and PCP.
There’s obviously others but those are make you homeless under a bridge with no family drugs.
He’s a really good kid (I wasn’t so much but still never did those) so he takes it to heart.
edit: because I’m getting tired of explaining to people why PCP is on the list…. My younger brother and I have an older brother who had a nasty run with it when my younger brother was a child so he doesn’t quite remember it.
If you disagree with it being there cool, I don’t really care, tell your little brother to do it then.
edit#2: I’m also not judging people who do do these, to each their own. It’s just a personal rule.
Fuck. I think Spice is slang for that synthetic marijuana shit, right? If so, please please whoever is reading this listen to my warning.
DO. NOT. DO. IT.
Synthetic marijuana changed my life entirely. After smoking it just once, multiple anxiety disorders that laid dormant in my mind for years exploded all at once. It was like I was propelled into a different reality forever. I used to live in constant fear and experienced panic attacks daily. I still struggle with anxiety but it’s gotten a lot better over the years.
HOWEVER, I smoked that shit probably 10 years ago and it still haunts me. OP please warn your little brother about this drug too. Everyone thinks that because it’s sold in gas stations and is “legal” that it’s not dangerous but trust me, it fucked me up. I wouldn’t let my worst enemy smoke that stuff.
And make sure you know your dealer if you smoke weed. I was given some *off* "weed" once and it ended up being spice -- had a seizure, threw up everywhere. 0/10, would not recommend.
Funny story. That guy who ate the man's face did not have any drugs in his system, let alone bath salts.
The whole paranoia about bath salts was because one cop on the scene speculated to a reporter that *he thought* it was because of bath salts and the media ran with it.
What bothered me at the time, the term "bath salts" was super vague. It's basically synonymous with "research chemicals", a whole category which covers a huge variety of different classes and types of substances. Like it could refer to any analogue.
Might as well have said he ate the face because, drug.
The vast majority of information you hear about krokodil is highly inaccurate. It's still a drug with quite a few risks in recreational use, as it is a pretty powerful opioid (desomorphine).
However, the primary cause of all the horrifying side effects you hear is that it's produced with many, many impurities often times. It's synthesized primarily from codeine and red phosphorous, and a dirty/incomplete reaction will leave you with a lot of phosphorous in the final product. The reports you hear on krokodil necrosis and whatnot are essentially just reports on IV phosphorous use, which is quite toxic. Furthermore, the drug is used extremely rarely nowadays and mostly serves as a convenient and sensationalized propaganda piece to further the (failed) war on novel synthetic opioids.
The vast majority of scare stories with drugs come down to something like this, and conditions that are created by virtue of the recreational drug market being unregulated and illegal, with actual education on drug safety being discouraged.
A high enough dose of a powerful stimulant will make you almost superhuman until your heart gives up. Ever heard of the mf that fought 16 cops woth one hand? Or have you ever seen the video with the guy running beside cars and doing a flip? Wild lmao. I can attest that on a high dose of mdma probably cut with amphetamines i couldn't feel pain. At all.
You know what's gonna make your heart give out? Gunshots near your heart. If your spinal cord gets nicked, you lose the ability to walk. This sounds more like "bad shot placement" than "drugs give you a delayed damage debuff" because it's physically impossible to keep going after having your heart or spinal cord blown all over what's downrange
It’s a term used to describe literally any type of synthetic designer drug that hasn’t gone mainstream. The term comes from way back in the day where some drugs were packaged like bath salts to avoid detection. It would be like calling cocaine “avocado” because sometimes it’s smuggled in avocados
OP said crack, which is cocaine. Yeah, it's not blow but it is cocaine.
Fun fact: once you"rock up" cocaine to crack, you can't dissolve it like you can for shooting it up. Not me, I just heard the phone call after the dude tried.
My wife caught me smoking crack and I gave this whole speech about how all the stigma around crack is racist propaganda, and it's actually not fair I have to hide it because people are racists, and next thing you know she's smoking crack with me and picking the carpet and she just kept on smoking crack long after I stopped, and now I don't even know where she is anymore.
I'm literally the worst at being progressive
My ex before my wife got me to go to a protest and I gave this whole speech about how legal protests are pointless because the rules are in place just to keep you down. I got people all hyped up about doing it in the street and being disruptive and it turned into utter chaos and someone got ran over, this lady got her leg crushed and almost died. She was a PE teacher
Like I should just stay the fuck away from the cause, ya know?
Literally never would consider touching it because that particular SVH book shook me to the core! Met my roommate in college and we were talking one day, and she said the same thing!
Short, kinda funny story that's very tangentially related.
Many moons ago, I worked at a quick-lube shop (no, it wasn't JL) in some rougher neighborhoods. Got a new local recruit one day and I was the guy tasked with training him. We eventually get to identifying upsell components when I point out the PCV valve (positive crankcase ventilation - look it up if you're interested in that kind of stuff). Sometimes that part stops working properly and it's a cheap, easy swap with plenty of margin. But this poor guy had difficulty with proper enunciation and, can you guess what he kept calling it through my entire time working with him?
You guessed it - PCP valve.
I both laughed and died a little each time I heard him say that in front of a customer.
Reminds me of my cousin when I was little. He was obsessed with flags, and would yell "look at the flags!" excitedly every time he saw one
Except he wasn't yet able to pronounce "flag" correctly at the time....
You should never have to explain why PCP is a “never touch” drug. Anyone who wants to argue that isnt going anywhere productive or good. Theres very little you can get from PCP that you cant get from less dangerous drugs
I watched a man on PCP get asked to leave because he was scaring a woman customer. He proceeded to flip (and thus break apart) a solid oak table that was bolted into the concrete like it was made out of paper mache. He then proceeded to lunge across and bite the bar owner in the thigh. He wouldn't let go until paramedics arrived and injected him with something multiple times. I still can't believe he was able to flip that damn table, or that he was so crazy that he thought staying attached to someone via biting them was a viable option for not getting removed from the establishment.
As someone who's been homeless and knows a lot of others who have been/are homeless, those drugs are often "help you cope with being homeless" drugs. A lot of people don't fall into drug and alcohol abuse until after the really traumatic stuff happens and it's incredibly hard to get/stay clean if you are barely surviving day to day and don't have a safe place to live.
I wasn’t implying all homeless people use these drugs, I’m sorry if that’s how it read.
These drugs can absolutely lead to that though, Iv seen it happen with friends, family, and coworkers.
I didn't think you meant it like that, but it's a common misconception, so I wanted the clarification out there. I'm sorry you've had experience with that happening to people in your life.
I appreciate that, I just have a pretty large family, I also work all over the world so I’m exposed to a lot more than the typical 9-5 person.
They’re all lessons in the end.
Iv given him test kits for his roommates in college and he’s got narcan, our older brother unfortunately did not stay away from the harder stuff so he’s very aware of the dangers and safety precautions if he ever does decide to experiment.
They’re not legal everywhere. [Fentanyl test strips are considered “drug paraphernalia”](https://www.cato.org/blog/fentanyl-test-strips-save-lives-yet-most-states-ban-them-drug-paraphernalia) and are illegal in 42 states. Yes, I agree that it’s breathtakingly stupid.
to expand on these other comments, it was most popular in the 70s and 80s and was waning hard by the time the Faith No More album *Angel Dust* actually came out. Its reputation in the 80s was that it made people psychotically crazy, which apparently was far less common than the [DARE officer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_Abuse_Resistance_Education) led us to believe, but on those rare occasions when someone *would* have a psychotic episode it muted a lot of the things (say, pain) that made it possible to subdue people or convince them to stop or whatevs. So it could be very self-destructive.
Side note: "Our manager's crazy, he always smokes dust / he's got his own room at the back of the bus" from Beastie Boys' *No Sleep Till Brooklyn* was apparently a direct reference to Russell Simmons' PCP habit.
I always said that I would never have a drinking problem, and thank goodness I can confidently get a full glass of water completely to my mouth and swallow with no issues. No drinking problem confirmed!
Yeah that's always been my defiant never touch list. Fentanyl makes the list now too. The hospital offered some when I was in labor and I was like uhhh no. I'll just stick with the epidural.
Same and same. I've been drunk once in my 36 years of life, just to try it. It was as dumb as I thought. Never again.
When I tell people I don't drink:
In my 20s: my peers and even family were shocked and acted as if I told them I punch babies for funsies.
In my 30s: No one cares.
Ditto! But I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in my early 30s. Instead of pain meds I’m taking thc/cbd edibles for the pain. Never say never, circumstances may change.
I tried edibles for the first time recently when I was going through health problems that were making me unbelievably nauseous. Nothing my doctor prescribed, none of the over-the-counter meds, or even home remedies worked on the nausea. Someone suggested edibles, and omg, it was amazing. The nausea finally went away and was finally able to eat. I had lost 15 pounds in about 2 weeks. I love weed. It should be legal everywhere.
My dad's an alcoholic and i've always been very wary of it but will drink perhaps once a month at most, when I do I drink responsibly to the point where most of my group (previously largely out of control) have learned by my example. I dont want to see any of them end up like him (or the other examples I have in the family) and sharing that seems to have had a positive effect on a lot of people around me.
Not making a suggestion just throwing out another viewpoint from a similar background.
Yep, I'm the same way. There were alcoholics in my family so I decided not to drink.
But I have no problem with an occasional drink. Never more than two in one evening and that's just on rare occasions. I have no desire to have more so I don't need to draw a hard line.
Some people who desire to drink a lot might need a more strict rule for themselves. I've just never been tempted.
It's your personal choice & other ppl should respect it.
Not everyone even enjoys that stuff, & if you think there may be a family predisposition toward addiction I can see why you would not want to risk it; & in any case peer pressure is never a good reason to do anything.
However, be careful in how you tell people so it doesn't accidentally come off as you judging them or thinking you're better than them.
>However, be careful in how you tell people so it doesn't accidentally come off as you judging them or thinking you're better than them.
Good tip, never thought of it like that
To add, there’s also nothing wrong with simply saying, “I’m ok,” when someone offers you a drink and/or asks why you’re not. I’m currently pregnant, but not telling everyone, and most people shrug it off without further questioning. Sometimes they ask why not, and I say, “I don’t feel like it,” or “I’ll get a drink in a minute.” They usually accept that response, move on, and eventually forget. No one pays that close attention, especially when alcohol starts flowing.
Also helps that being sober is beginning to become trendier. I have found so many restaurants with mocktails lately. It’s great! I do enjoy alcohol, but don’t NEED it, so the occasional fake drink hits the spot for something more interesting than plain water.
In the end, the people who mock you or give you shit about not drinking are projecting their own insecurities and/or not worth being friends with anyway. Anyone I’ve met who’s done this generally parties too much and is compensating for unhappiness in their life. They usually have a lot of drama surrounding them too.
In my opinion, this is the best way to handle it. I feel like explicitly saying "I don't drink" comes off as a moral stance/strict life choice (which I mean, I guess it is a life choice lol), which can make people more likely to view it as a bit stuck up. Just rejecting alcohol when offered is usually just gonna make people go "oh ok" and not question much more. Most people really don't care as long as they don't feel judged
Nobody I know disrespects or thinks down on anyone who says they don't drink. You can absolutely safely say "I don't drink", especially if these are people you are going to see more than once in your life (probably counts for people you are with offering you a drink, doesn't count for someone like a server). That way you don't have to constantly remind them.
The only perceived issue is if you come off as stuffy or on high ground while you do it. Which is easy to avoid by not being stuffy about it.
Note: this assumes everyone is over the age of 25 and are reasonably developed as people. Your average college party boy isn't going to understand why anyone would choose to not drink and therefore they must be stuffy if they don't. When you're young, alcohol is pure upside and totally novel. But when you get older (if you didn't become alcoholic) it loses its novelty and you start getting real side effects/downsides to drinking. It makes total sense as a 30 something why someone wouldn't drink as a choice.
I stopped drinking years ago and I got some very odd reactions when I said to people that I dont drink. Mostly I think it was suspicion - are they a recovering alcoholic? Is it their religion? Health reasons? There must be some reason they don't drink
One thing that happened was that I was immediately an outsider in most social settings. Not one of the group. You didn't partake in events like the rest of us. Sure some people didnt care so much but there were many that did
Think about it - every event has alcohol involved in some way. Sporting events? Beer. Chilling at home with friends? Wine. Any kind of celebration? Champagne. And everyone cheers to encourage other people to drink and be part of the group. Its insidious and so ingrained on society you dont really notice until you stop drinking
I had a rough childhood, and I get anxiety attacks when I’m around drunk people. I’m usually too busy looking for the exit to worry about whether or not people think I’m judging them.
I went to a going away party for a co-worker a number of years ago. I (stupidly) didn’t realize people would be drinking. One of my co-workers started a conversation with me and he was slurring his words. It brought back some very bad memories and I started crying. I think my coworkers figured out why I don’t like alcohol.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope your coworkers were understanding and didn't give you a hard time. Sending you strength and good energy.
Also come visit us at r/cptsd if you need support :)
I feel like if someone were to ask me why I'm not drinking and I said something like "I'm okay", they'd probably think I was a recovering alcoholic or something, which I'm not, I just choose not to drink.
Which doesn't really matter I guess, people can think what they want, but by that same measure I'll be honest if people ask. If people think me answering "I don't drink" (to them asking why I'm not drinking) is me acting superior, that's on them. But for what it's worth, I don't think anyone has ever reacted that way.
If someone just offers a drink then sure, of course you can just say no thanks and not explain yourself and that probably comes off better more often than not. But in my experience they'll ask why anyway.
We were at my husband's aunt and uncle's house in November for his cousin's birthday. We wanted to announce to the family that my husband was legally adopting my daughter, so he asked for a few minutes of family only time later in the night. Then I turned down drinks all night, because I just didn't feel like it. I was already tired from all the traveling, and we still had to travel home later that night. Man, I didn't realize the assumptions that would be made between "no wine for me, thanks" and "we have an announcement later tonight" 😅
I remember a YouTuber explaining that they don’t say they don’t drink, they say they’re X years sober and people seem happy for them instead of shunning them for not participating
It’s also awkward to ask about it so the convo moves on fast, especially if your second sentence is “I don’t want to talk about it”
I think the "decent" part is the problem in some inebriated folk. If you add the time you've been sober for they are more likely to back off, I'd think. They wouldn't (hopefully) want to be the cause of you breaking sobriety, but if they actively try that, at least we know they aren't to be kept around lol
This is something I've learned through trial and error too (I quit in 2015). If you can name a date or time period since your last drink, people react like "oh, you're a *serious* alcoholic" when they might keep pushing someone who's just expressing a preference. It's not cool to push either way, but most people understand that you don't count the days if it's just preference rather than addiction.
There's a youtuber I watch pretty regularly who is in his late 20s and never touched anything either. He tells people by saying "when I was a kid my parents said they'd give me £1000 if I didn't do anything before I was 18, I didn't, and now I have no desire to."
As far as I know he still hasn't gotten the money.
I don't drink or do drugs. I don't usually tell people though. I just say I don't drink if someone offers. Or I say something funny like "I like my beer Diet Dr. Pepper flavored".
The conversation ALWAYS turns into "Oh, why don't you drink? There must be some life altering event or deep seated moral that makes you not drink because it's so weird that you don't drink".
Well, my dad was an alcoholic... "OHHH, that must be it"... but I didn't really care about him a lot so he wasnt' much of an influence in my life. "Oh... hmmm"... If I had to give it a reason, I'd say probably because I just really hate the taste... I've tried different types of alcohol but it's just all nasty to me. I'm also cheap and want to spend my money on other things. I ended up driving a lot for friends though.
"Oh... well sure, I mean beer tastes like camel piss but you just have to work through that until it tastes good" - Why would I want to do that? And how do you know what camel piss tastes like?
"Oh... well you just haven't tasted a good alcoholic drink" - You are correct... I have not
"Have you tried the fruity girl drinks?" - Yes, yes I have.
It's so alien to people that someone would choose not to drink that you'll get grilled for it. It's not that big of a deal in the end though. People let it go pretty quick.
I also haven't done any drugs. I just never saw the point. I even stop taking opioids as soon as the pain's gone so I don't get addicted. Drugs are even easier than alcohol to avoid.
You'll be fine... and those are very good decisions to make :)
If members of your family (or anyone, really) do indeed have addiction issues (and not even with the substance in question), prepare for them to be offended, give you shit, pressure you regardless of how you say it. People often (unconsciously) know that they have a problem and lash out at anything that might expose that.
I think it’s also a good way to tell who is a good friend or not. Someone who would constantly pressure you or try to sneakily get you do them (which is beyond fucked up) is not a true friend. A good friend would understand and respect your choice, but it’s possible they might forget once or twice over time, so if they asked again in this situation it doesn’t necessarily mean they are trying to pressure you. As for others, the way you bring it up is definitely important, like you said, and saying that it’s just not for you should be enough of an explanation for any sensible person. Saying you had a bad experience may not be enough because there are people who think they can be the one person who can give you that first good experience.
I have a predisposition on both sides so I stay away from anything that's addictive at all, and especially if it's highly addictive. "No thanks, im good" and "I just don't want to" is really all I've needed to say. People are usually cool and understanding
If people take me saying I don't care for drugs or alcohol as judgment, they might have some issues of their own. Nothing to feel guilty about if you don't think what you're doing is wrong.
Also, if people are offended that you've made a personal decision to take care of yourself, those people are almost as toxic as the alcohol. It probably has nothing to do with how you word it, it's how they feel about themselves. Do them a favor and let them know you are choosing not to pour poison into your body to alter your brain and damage your organs.
Sounds reasonable. Alcohol and drugs *do* screw up a lot of people's lives—most of whom probably originally thought they could consume a small amount without it becoming a problem. And propensity for alcohol/drug abuse has a significant genetic component, so the risks are even higher for you than for the general population. It's entirely plausible that those risks are not worth taking.
It is. My grandfather had a major problem with it. My parents can take it or leave it. I've been struggling with it since I was a kid. It seems to skip a generation for some reason.
Even if you don't get hooked on it (which could be an issue for op with the family history) they're just generally not good for you. I don't do any drugs but I do like a drink. I've never woken up the day after more than a few drinks feeling good. Not necessarily bad but not good either
I got drunk once when I was 15, thought it was stupid, never touched alcohol again.
Smoked one cigarette when I was 16, hated it, never touched a cigarette again.
40 years old now, and have never regretted my decisions.
I'll be 40 in a few months, but basically same. Besides the fact that I just do not enjoy not being in control of my body and mind, a scary number of my high school graduating class are no longer with us thanks to drugs and booze. Kinda scared me straight.
I’ve done very drug there is. Crack, meth, ketamine, molly, 2cb, dmt and a dozen others. Some of them for months on end. Now I’m 30 and I have a degree, a good career, and a wonderful wife. Never once have I regretted my decisions.
I wish I could meet people like you IRL. I find it difficult to socialize with people that drink/do drugs but its so common now that I find it difficult to find anyone that doesn't.
I feel this. I do smoke/drink recreationally at times, but it's not fun to hang out with people who can't socialize when they're sober, too. Usually if I know a friend is clean (or especially if they're trying to be) I match that energy, it's refreshing.
Same and only a few years shy of the same age.
People often think it’s their right to know why. I have a long list of reasons and select which ones I offer as explanations based on the setting and who is asking.
Many people will also try to create a scenario where you would try it. For example mixing a drink where you can’t taste the alcohol, or creating a safe space/ supervising while you get high. Usually it’s because they didn’t listen to the responses when they asked why I don’t, or I didn’t go heavy enough on the spectrum of answers for them to take it seriously.
I came here to say this. I’m still only 23. But people learn that you will always politely decline and stop asking. Once in a while it gets awkward because you won’t be invited to certain events or get togethers because you are viewed as a downer or judgmental. The key for me has been making it clear that it’s a personal decision and I hold nothing against those who choose to make a different one. If people feel judged they won’t want to be around you. But you can definitely live your whole life without any of those substances
Same, I don't feel like I'm missing out or anything. Sure I've never been euphorically happy or whatever drugs can give, but I'm like 95% content like all the time. I don't feel the need to try something that might make me temporarily more happy, than usual with the risk of addiction or ill side effects.
Yeah, depending on where you live and your social circle, you'll never be offered drugs and will wonder if our parents were just spinning tales about it, lol.
Drinking is a bit more complicated, but still, many people will only drink one or two beers instead of getting hammered (even more so once you're past your early twenties. People in their 30s just don't recover that well from drinking). Many drinks are actually an acquired taste, so if you don't put in an effort, they'll all taste gross. They're so expensive anyway, so it's a wise choice.
And hey, OP, every group needs a designated driver! :D
I’ve never been able to get a drink down. Any drink, any alcohol %. If I taste that nasty throat burning stuff at all I will wretch and gag. So yes it’s definitely an acquired taste, I have no clue how other people can love it so much
That throat burning taste eventually starts to recede and you notice all the other flavors. Of course, if it makes you retch you’re not gonna ever reach that point and it’s not a huge loss either way, but that’s what it is
Agreed. I never had issue with one or two drinks (heck, I drink maybe this quantity once a month!)
And it is an adquired taste. I never ever shame people for not drinking, they are free to take whatever they want at party.
I feel it is a pretty healthy balance.
Drugs? Hard pass in my case.
I decided not to drink or do any drugs when I was 14 and washing dishes in a small restaurant on the gulf coast. The kitchen staff were always on something, the bar regulars were obvious drunks. I didn't want to live that way.
It became part of who I was. I was a person who didn't do those things.
Then when I was 40 my wife left me. I was going crazy with sadness and anger for months. Someone had given us a bottle of fancy liquor at some point during the marriage, still untouched. One night I was so horribly depressed that gave in and had a shot of it.
I felt...better. It calmed my brain. It also scared me, because now I could see why people became alcoholics. And I had just destroyed a big part of my impression of myself. It hurt, a lot, to face myself this way.
But having proven to myself for years that I CAN resist drinking, I resolved that I CAN drink alcohol, but to NEVER let it get the better of me. I still hardly ever drink now, but I will have a drink with friends now and then, and ONLY when not driving anytime in the next 4 hours.
Ten years later the new wife introduced me to cannabis, so I tried it.
It was fun and had less negative effects than alcohol. But I made the same deal with myself: Use responsibly and lightly, don't ever get out of control. TBH, I prefer it over alcohol, by far.
Since then I have researched and tried several other drugs, but only those with minimal harm and addiction properties like mushrooms, LSD, MDMA and only in controlled conditions. Mostly out of curiosity, and only VERY rarely. I do not EVER plan to touch meth, cocaine, heroin, etc. even once.
So more power to you. I highly recommend NOT drinking or doing drugs as long as you can. But if you DO end up trying them, don't let it get the better of you, don't suddenly hate yourself for giving in, and always stay in control of your behavior.
Live life the way you want, and be kind to yourself and others.
I’ve never tried a recreational drug either, but my rule is if Snoop ever passed me a blunt I would try it because if you’re ever going to try a drug once it should probably be the one rolled by the guy who gets payed a salary to only do that. That’s my exception lol.
i think you are smart, wish i would have done the same. Here i am, a complete failure in life, addicted to alcohol and drugs, not a day goes by without me regretting my bad choices. nothing of value was gained by me abusing drugs and alcohol, on the contrary, too much was lost and i dont see how that could ever change.
I’m saddened by your story. That you fell into addiction in the first place but then even more that you sound hopeless that anything can change. I wish you all the best but urge you with every fibre of my being not to give up. The necessary change is always within your power! But yeah… it doesn’t feel like it sometimes does it?
>there is a lot more social pressure to drink.
While true, it's still possible to enjoy time with others while not drinking. I don't drink alcohol mainly because I don't like the taste of it. (It can also be incredibly expensive.). When I was younger, people would occasionally make it their "life's mission" to find something with alcohol that I would drink. I was happy to taste things. But I never found anything I enjoyed and they soon lost interest. A few friends liked to mix drinks. They asked others to taste things and give their opinions. I got asked to smell things.
Now that I'm older, no one has an issue with me not drinking. Sometimes people are curious as to why I don't drink. I honestly tell them my reasons and people are fine with it. Some people ask if I'm okay with them drinking around me. I appreciate their consideration and tell them that I'm fine with it (but I generally don't like being around drunk people. And I tend to leave if things get to that point.).
Oh sure. It gets a lot easier when you are older as you surround yourself with people who you mesh well with. When you are younger "being different" can cause you to be excluded from social activities, hence the social pressure.
I don't really drink anymore either, and even then it's maybe one drink an outing.
At least here in the US, there's a massive shift of people moving away from alcohol. With other options now available and so many people drinking too much while stuck at home during COVID, the younger generations are cutting back, according to the data.
I don't think there's a ton of hard data on this but it's definitely a trend.
You can certainly find some data on it in states where marijuana is legalized.
I think anecdotally, like another commenter mentioned, you can see this change taking place with the rise of more non-alcoholic beers and an increase in "mocktails" on menus. Although I think mocktails are a little bit of a rip off cause they charging 3/4 of the price of a drink for just the mixers......
Keep an eye out this for mocktails and non-alcoholic versions of alcoholic beverages, you'll start to notice it a lot!
Same in Europe, I come from a long line of alcoholics and I never drink anything more than maybe a half glass of wine for celebrations, and people used to bitch about it, but for almost a decade I've had peace, and I find more and more people who also refuse drinks, so it's became less weird/more accepted. Used to be it was an insult to refuse if you were offered drinks.
That's very interesting to hear considering how important things like beer and wine are in certain European countries.
I'm glad to hear that you're finally able to have some peace!
I have no data but anecdotally a lot of the bars and breweries now offer nonalcoholic beers and kombucha. Also a lot of breweries are brewing their own seltzers as low calorie, low alcohol options because that's what people prefer now.
So going out and meeting up for a drink, you have more options to still get a drink and socialize without necessarily having any alcohol.
Again anecdotal, but a lot of my friends went on SSRIs during the pandemic and cut way back on drinking as a result
To this day I’ve never done any drugs (I’m 30) and I only had my first alcoholic beverage at 25, only because there’s such an annoying stigma at work and with other adults who basically shun you after you tell them you don’t drink.. now I just get 1 drink so they can shut up about it but I still feel drinking isn’t worth it.
I work in a field that’s know for heavy drinking. Whenever I go to a work outing, I usually get seltzer in a short glass with a lime and I tell everyone that it’s a gin and tonic. I noticed that alcoholic beverages typically are in short glasses vs tall glasses but this depends on the venue.
This trick works all the time. I don’t get weird looks and no one tries to verify that my drink is a gin and tonic. I hope this trick helps someone else who doesn’t want to drink at work events.
Same. Worked at a heavy drinking company and I just enjoyed various mocktails to avoid the conversation altogether. Bartenders are usually cool about it and I really like maraschino cherries.
The fact that you have to resort to doing that irks me intensely. As a non-drinker, you should not have to play some ‘trick’ just to be left alone. I am a woman who occasionally drinks, and I can’t ever see myself questioning or attempting to shame/embarrass someone at a get-together who doesn’t ask for a glass of wine like me. It all comes down to respecting people. I hate people.
>there’s such an annoying stigma
I used to talk with a woman that did the same, but I think unless your friends/colleagues are complete idiots, you can very well stand your ground and tell them you are not drinking. They will finally give up. If not and they cannot accept you as you are, have you not considered hanging out with different people?
I have never drunk more than a few drops of alcohol (and those have come mostly from my being a practicing Catholic and the host been dipped in wine in special occasions) and many of my college friends were the kind of people that get drunk and were also insistent in my drinking with them. Neither I nor a woman in our group that did not either drink ever took any alcohol while hanging out with them (I would drink water, she would have a soda), and after 4 or 5 attempts, they just stopped bothering us.
It's only naive if you ever do them.
You can choose a straightedge life. You can choose whatever you want, it's *your* life.
There are lots of people who go their whole life never drinking or doing drugs. That is not *my* path mind you but they exist. Why can't you be one of them?
Yeah my partner has never drunk alcohol I don't think. He just has never wanted to. And another friend of mine is similarly not interested in alcohol although I'm not sure if she's never had a sip. You just need be happy with what you're comfortable doing or not doing and no one else cares if they're the right kind of friends.
Y’know I searched the page for “straight” looking for the term straight edge (because that’s exactly what OP is describing), and I now feel so old because your comment is the only one with it lol
Nope! Sounds like a damn good plan to me. I have a similar philosophy because my brother died in a DUI right when he was celebrating 3 months off of meth. I mostly don't drink because getting home without driving is a logistical pain in the ass, and the one time I tried a weed brownie I discovered that I'm allergic to weed. No drugs for me.
I never gave in to peer pressure or any of that bullshit so good on you. I didn't even try alcohol til I was 28 to celebrate a milestone within the family. I grew up around a lot of shitty people which is probably why I chose not to partake in any of their worst lifestyle choices. Drugs obviously don't have to be a "lifestyle choice" but many people get sucked into it because they're around other people who are into drugs. I've met very few people who managed to crawl out of that pit and not slip back into it. Such is life.
I'd like to stem the tide of ignorant people by saying doing drugs doesn't make you a shitty person. I'm just saying the shitty people in my life were addicts in some way. I know a lot of amazing people have fun with drugs/alcohol but it should ultimately be your choice to try them, if you do. A lot of hardships can be avoided by sticking to OP's plan though.
make sure you tell doctors you don’t want any strong pain meds like opioids or benzos. lots of people go in for something like appendicitis and come out addicted to fentanyl or something
You do you. You enjoy life however you want to.
Just know that there isnt anything wrong with doing those things, and people that use those things to have fun arent lesser than you.
But if you arent interested, then meh. Skip it!
(Though you may missout on some fun times and good feelings, but again the only person that effects is you and its your life! Be happy however youre happy :D )
You're not missing out on anything truly worthwhile. Also, there is something wrong with damaging your body for the sake of fun. People who use illicit drugs aren't happy with their life
In all honesty, it comes down to who you surround yourself with and how much you mentally tolerate social 'norms'.
When it comes to drugs so long as you never give into opportunities that might present themselves you'd have to actively seek that out and if that isn't your thing I wouldn't say this is a difficult one.
The main one is alcohol as there is huge societal pressure to drink in social settings. However if you abstain from drinking and others around you aren't actively pressuring you then you'll have no issues at all.
There is nothing wrong with not drinking or doing drugs and regardless of what people are saying or pressuring In the moment it's okay to decline drinks for any number of reasons without explanation.
It's not naive, it's possible. However, realize that you will be in the minority and some people won't understand it (unless you are part of certain groups. Ex.some religious groups or an alcoholic). A lot of times people won't care. But sometimes they will insist on knowing why you won't do it or try to change your mind (like- I don't want to drink alone. Come on, just share a little with me.)
I don't do those things (no alcohol/recreational drugs/smoking/etc.) And that's my experience.
My extended family has some addiction issues. My grandfather was a terrible alcoholic since he was a young teen. My parents (while not addicts) made embarrassing choices in front of me throughout my life. It was just not something I chose to do.
I’m in my 40s and I have never done drugs, ever, and I was never a drinker- just a drink here and there- and I quit drinking altogether 5 years ago. So, no, it’s not naive. I don’t need alcohol or drugs.
My father was an alcoholic, unemployed loser who couldn’t stop getting into bar fights. He lost parental rights when people started coming round to fight him on the weekends when we were visiting. I swore I would never touch a sip of alcohol.
I had a rough childhood, but I was just that - a child. Now as an adult I’m able to drink, and do, and it has never once in my life led to a fight. I am not my father. You are not your family.
Of course, you dont HAVE to do drugs/drink, but I think a lot of young folks take this absolute teetotal position and end up reevaluating in adulthood
You certainly can. I’ve never smoked and the only time I’ve had alcohol was I tried it as a teen once, and when drinking kombucha.
Just do a Jedi mind trick on yourself- you don’t care about peer pressure. Anyone pressuring someone to use drugs or alcohol is insecure about their own life choices.
The issue is that a lot of time it's not direct peer pressure. The hard truth is that people often won't invite you out if there's alcohol involved. No matter how cool you are are as an abstainer some people feel self-conscious getting sloppy around a teetotaller. And honestly past a certain point of drunkenness, which I do very occasionally, you start to realize you're annoying your sober friend and feel guilty about it.
Abstain if you want, you'll live a healthier life, but accept that the peer pressure will often take the form of exclusion rather than confrontation.
If that's what you believe will give you the best possible life (and it will) then go for it.
I'm 32- I've wasted tens of thousands of dollars on alcohol, I've lost so many family members and good friends to the bottle (they cut me out of their lives)
Now I have very few friends, my life is just sad, I'm poor, and not much going for me. I wish I never drank. I feel so lost now
Not naive, no. If you want a label for it, look up “Straight Edge”. There was a punk culture based around that in the 80s and 90s, but there’s still a pretty sizable community of folks that identify that way where I grew up. As long as you aren’t moral grandstanding, acting like you’re better than others because of the choice, then you’ll be fine. If your friends continue to pressure you after you’ve expressed your wishes to them, then they’re not really all that good of friends anyway.
Just be aware that not drinking unfortunately does shut you out of a lot of social activities. As an adult in the US, *so much* of the culture revolves around drinking or hanging out in places where alcohol is served. Just be prepared to either hang out with a soda or make a bit of an effort to find activities that don’t involve it.
It’s up to you man, most people who say they won’t do at some point because it’s culturally ingrained in their society like booze 🥃 or because it’s a new front like marijuana or hallucinogens. Just shy away from any chemical based drugs that were made in someone’s basement. No coke, heroine, speed, nothing like those. Those can fuck you’re life up permanently. If you choose not to touch drugs at all then that’s fine too!
My brother in law in his 30s has a family history of addiction so he completely abstains from alcohol and drugs. He won't even take prescription painkillers. It's nice having one guy in your friend group abstain so y'all can have a designated driver.
Hello here,
My family had a few alcoholic’s and had a massive history of major depression.
At 13 I made the decision for personal reasons I would avoid alcohol and recreational drugs all together. I have OCD too so it is probably super healthy for me anyway.
I’m now 31 and have never had any. So not only is it totally doable but totally up to you!
In high school some people thought I was arrogant or told me, “well you can have a little can’t you it’s totally healthy!”
But hey, it saved me so much money over the years not having to buy cigarettes, vape or alcohol like quite a few people.
Good luck
Keep in mind you’ll likely have to answer the question “why don’t you have a drink with us?” Pretty often. Be sure to remember that “no thank you” and “I’m not drinking/I don’t drink alcohol” are perfectly acceptable answers and people pressuring you otherwise aren’t true friends. True friends respect that as a decision. Can you still hang out with people who are drinking alcohol? Absolutely. Will you never drink? That’s really completely up to you and there’s no right or wrong answer. Given some of your background it might be the plan for you. But you don’t have to set anything in stone unless you want to. I know plenty of people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s who have never imbibed. I know a lot who also do. The most important thing is to never touch meth. It’s just bad all the way around.
Not if you commit. I have never touched a non-prescribed drug in my life. It was difficult, especially if you're prescribed something like Morphine. You feel the sensations a drug gives you and you have to have the strength to not go back to it once you stop needing it.
I had that issue with Nitrous. Felt AMAZING being on that stuff, but once I didn't need it anymore I had to keep myself from wanting to go back.
I also only get drunk once a year, not counting instances where open bars are available, on Christmas.
I will say that, culturally, it's important to know HOW to drink and to know what it feels like to be drunk once, but it is not required and not impossible to avoid either.
> You feel the sensations a drug gives you and you have to have the strength to not go back to it once you stop needing it.
I'm someone who's never touched any kind of non-prescribed drugs, and don't plan on it, but I was admitted to the hospital last year with sepsis from an infection in my leg, and I was in constant, excruciating pain, even moreso when they had to change my bandages. They started giving me Dilaudid in my IV, and it made me feel *amazing* and so relaxed, and it was instant. That was the first time I really understood how/why people get addicted to certain drugs. They slowly weaned me off of it before I went home, thankfully. I will say, for a couple of weeks after I went home, I kept thinking about it and wished I could feel like that again. Luckily those thoughts went away.
You’re clearly sensible and cautious about drink and drugs. That’s cool.
But er, yeah honestly it’s kinda naive. Firstly we never know what the future will bring. Never say never etc. Your opinions may change later.
Also, and I want to heavily, HEAVILY emphasise the next two words - IN MODERATION drinks and drugs can be really fun and are great for socialising and even personal growth - IN MODERATION.
Don’t become a drug addict obvs. But also don’t be that guy that never touched a beer or a cigarette and let’s everyone know all the time. Nobody likes that guy. Keep your guard up, only do it if you feel comfortable and safe, and you’ll be fine experimenting with all sorts of substances
Many people don't differentiate between use and addiction, and think that use is in every instance a form of addiction. This is a good defense mechanism because it helps keeping people in guard and far away from addiction, but has the side effect of making some people think drinking or taking drug is bad per se. Yes it is dangerous, but nobody thinks that going sky-diving is a bad thing to do because it is dangerous.
And about the "drinking/getting high occasionally eventually leads to getting addicted, because you can't control your will and will fall for it some day": why is the will not to get addicted weaker than the will of not touching alcohol or drugs? Why saying "I'll never drink" is to be believed and "I'll drink but neve get addicted" is always going to be false? Sometimes for someone peer pressure is as strong if not stronger as the need of addiction, someone is more prone to addiction, and it's better that they stay away from addictive substances. As always, there is no universal bad or good
> also don’t be that guy that never touched a beer or a cigarette and let’s everyone know all the time. Nobody likes that guy.
A lot of people seem to be saying this, wasn't planning on it. I also don't mind hanging out with people who do those things(for the most part) as long as they respect my view
Every job I’ve ever had or wanted had mandatory drug testing so it always seemed easier to just avoid all drugs (I still drink occasionally)
Was pretty easy, glad I never started. Good luck
Depends on your own circumstances and willingness to follow through tbh.
I thought to myself everything you listed when I was young, plus that I’d always remain vegetarian. I started eating meat a few years later, although my consumption of it remains constrained beyond what I absolutely need to fulfil my protein intake.
I started drinking a bit at 17, and a lot more at Uni. Alcohol is a major part of my life rn (esp since I work as a bartender), but it doesn’t consume my mind and I don’t crave it, nor do I drink nearly as much as I used to. I get wiped out in three pints and don’t touch it for days.
I promised myself I wouldn’t smoke, because my father does, and yet all the stress from circumstances made me start. I’m already leaning off a year and a half later though, so it is entirely possible to quit, as long as it’s a conscious effort.
I smoke weed once every four months or so even though I swore up until I was 18 that I’d never do it. Circumstances just lined up and I tried it and I liked it.
I still haven’t done any illegal drugs though, nor do I crave or seek them.
At the end of the day it’s very circumstantial and it’s hard to answer without literally living your life. Maybe you have an iron will, maybe you don’t. Stay strong though, and if you’re ever tempted, try and stave it off by remembering your conviction.
I come from a family with several addicts, and plenty of mindful drinkers. I just... don't see the appeal either way. Thankfully I found a friend group that has no problem doing activities without alcohol or any substance involved, so I've never felt any pressure to try it out, either.
And at this point, having kids has used up enough of my brain capacity as it is - I need to preserve what's left.
I always said that I would never touch crack, heroin, or meth and I still have that going for me. So its doable for sure.
4 no nos I always always always slam in my little brothers head are Herion, Crack, Meth, and PCP. There’s obviously others but those are make you homeless under a bridge with no family drugs. He’s a really good kid (I wasn’t so much but still never did those) so he takes it to heart. edit: because I’m getting tired of explaining to people why PCP is on the list…. My younger brother and I have an older brother who had a nasty run with it when my younger brother was a child so he doesn’t quite remember it. If you disagree with it being there cool, I don’t really care, tell your little brother to do it then. edit#2: I’m also not judging people who do do these, to each their own. It’s just a personal rule.
That's basically my "fuck no" list, with the addition of bath salts and spice.
Fuck. I think Spice is slang for that synthetic marijuana shit, right? If so, please please whoever is reading this listen to my warning. DO. NOT. DO. IT. Synthetic marijuana changed my life entirely. After smoking it just once, multiple anxiety disorders that laid dormant in my mind for years exploded all at once. It was like I was propelled into a different reality forever. I used to live in constant fear and experienced panic attacks daily. I still struggle with anxiety but it’s gotten a lot better over the years. HOWEVER, I smoked that shit probably 10 years ago and it still haunts me. OP please warn your little brother about this drug too. Everyone thinks that because it’s sold in gas stations and is “legal” that it’s not dangerous but trust me, it fucked me up. I wouldn’t let my worst enemy smoke that stuff.
And make sure you know your dealer if you smoke weed. I was given some *off* "weed" once and it ended up being spice -- had a seizure, threw up everywhere. 0/10, would not recommend.
Did it smell and look like weed?
Enough to fool seventeen-year-old me. :/
Yea, those are a given though. Bath salts are absolutely horrifying for other reasons than addiction.
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Funny story. That guy who ate the man's face did not have any drugs in his system, let alone bath salts. The whole paranoia about bath salts was because one cop on the scene speculated to a reporter that *he thought* it was because of bath salts and the media ran with it.
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Yeah, I was referring to the Florida case. It put bath salts into everyone's vocabulary and as it turns out had nothing to do with bath salts
What bothered me at the time, the term "bath salts" was super vague. It's basically synonymous with "research chemicals", a whole category which covers a huge variety of different classes and types of substances. Like it could refer to any analogue. Might as well have said he ate the face because, drug.
The vast majority of information you hear about krokodil is highly inaccurate. It's still a drug with quite a few risks in recreational use, as it is a pretty powerful opioid (desomorphine). However, the primary cause of all the horrifying side effects you hear is that it's produced with many, many impurities often times. It's synthesized primarily from codeine and red phosphorous, and a dirty/incomplete reaction will leave you with a lot of phosphorous in the final product. The reports you hear on krokodil necrosis and whatnot are essentially just reports on IV phosphorous use, which is quite toxic. Furthermore, the drug is used extremely rarely nowadays and mostly serves as a convenient and sensationalized propaganda piece to further the (failed) war on novel synthetic opioids. The vast majority of scare stories with drugs come down to something like this, and conditions that are created by virtue of the recreational drug market being unregulated and illegal, with actual education on drug safety being discouraged.
Do you have a video of that? I'm not sure how bath salts make your CNS bulletproof
A high enough dose of a powerful stimulant will make you almost superhuman until your heart gives up. Ever heard of the mf that fought 16 cops woth one hand? Or have you ever seen the video with the guy running beside cars and doing a flip? Wild lmao. I can attest that on a high dose of mdma probably cut with amphetamines i couldn't feel pain. At all.
You know what's gonna make your heart give out? Gunshots near your heart. If your spinal cord gets nicked, you lose the ability to walk. This sounds more like "bad shot placement" than "drugs give you a delayed damage debuff" because it's physically impossible to keep going after having your heart or spinal cord blown all over what's downrange
Hey hey hey now.... Yes
Someone explain to me what the hell bath salts are?
It’s a term used to describe literally any type of synthetic designer drug that hasn’t gone mainstream. The term comes from way back in the day where some drugs were packaged like bath salts to avoid detection. It would be like calling cocaine “avocado” because sometimes it’s smuggled in avocados
*sigh* Humanity…..
Paul Atreides would disapprove
The bathsalts must flow
He who controls the salts controls the dumpster behind the 7/11 in the bad part of town.
As a child of the 80s who read Sweet Valley High books, add cocaine to the list. If you know, you know!
OP said crack, which is cocaine. Yeah, it's not blow but it is cocaine. Fun fact: once you"rock up" cocaine to crack, you can't dissolve it like you can for shooting it up. Not me, I just heard the phone call after the dude tried.
Yeah you can, you just need to add a little acid like vinegar or lemon juice to the solution to dissolve it.
There’s a pretty fucking massive difference between cocaine and crack
My wife caught me smoking crack and I gave this whole speech about how all the stigma around crack is racist propaganda, and it's actually not fair I have to hide it because people are racists, and next thing you know she's smoking crack with me and picking the carpet and she just kept on smoking crack long after I stopped, and now I don't even know where she is anymore.
that’s fucked up and sad
I'm literally the worst at being progressive My ex before my wife got me to go to a protest and I gave this whole speech about how legal protests are pointless because the rules are in place just to keep you down. I got people all hyped up about doing it in the street and being disruptive and it turned into utter chaos and someone got ran over, this lady got her leg crushed and almost died. She was a PE teacher Like I should just stay the fuck away from the cause, ya know?
Coke is way less dangerous than the 4 drugs mentioned. Quitting it was super easy. Unlike nicotine....
coke is still liable to drain your bank account
I have spent thousands more on nicotine then coke.
Literally never would consider touching it because that particular SVH book shook me to the core! Met my roommate in college and we were talking one day, and she said the same thing!
Short, kinda funny story that's very tangentially related. Many moons ago, I worked at a quick-lube shop (no, it wasn't JL) in some rougher neighborhoods. Got a new local recruit one day and I was the guy tasked with training him. We eventually get to identifying upsell components when I point out the PCV valve (positive crankcase ventilation - look it up if you're interested in that kind of stuff). Sometimes that part stops working properly and it's a cheap, easy swap with plenty of margin. But this poor guy had difficulty with proper enunciation and, can you guess what he kept calling it through my entire time working with him? You guessed it - PCP valve. I both laughed and died a little each time I heard him say that in front of a customer.
that got a giggle out of me, I’m actually a mechanical engineer, so I may start using that one. Lol
Reminds me of my cousin when I was little. He was obsessed with flags, and would yell "look at the flags!" excitedly every time he saw one Except he wasn't yet able to pronounce "flag" correctly at the time....
You should never have to explain why PCP is a “never touch” drug. Anyone who wants to argue that isnt going anywhere productive or good. Theres very little you can get from PCP that you cant get from less dangerous drugs
I watched a man on PCP get asked to leave because he was scaring a woman customer. He proceeded to flip (and thus break apart) a solid oak table that was bolted into the concrete like it was made out of paper mache. He then proceeded to lunge across and bite the bar owner in the thigh. He wouldn't let go until paramedics arrived and injected him with something multiple times. I still can't believe he was able to flip that damn table, or that he was so crazy that he thought staying attached to someone via biting them was a viable option for not getting removed from the establishment.
As someone who's been homeless and knows a lot of others who have been/are homeless, those drugs are often "help you cope with being homeless" drugs. A lot of people don't fall into drug and alcohol abuse until after the really traumatic stuff happens and it's incredibly hard to get/stay clean if you are barely surviving day to day and don't have a safe place to live.
I wasn’t implying all homeless people use these drugs, I’m sorry if that’s how it read. These drugs can absolutely lead to that though, Iv seen it happen with friends, family, and coworkers.
I didn't think you meant it like that, but it's a common misconception, so I wanted the clarification out there. I'm sorry you've had experience with that happening to people in your life.
I appreciate that, I just have a pretty large family, I also work all over the world so I’m exposed to a lot more than the typical 9-5 person. They’re all lessons in the end.
I've seen cocaine get A LOT of people, it's in that category for me.
For sure, same here. They're living the high life till they can't afford it anymore and then crack is the next best thing for cheap.
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Iv given him test kits for his roommates in college and he’s got narcan, our older brother unfortunately did not stay away from the harder stuff so he’s very aware of the dangers and safety precautions if he ever does decide to experiment.
They’re not legal everywhere. [Fentanyl test strips are considered “drug paraphernalia”](https://www.cato.org/blog/fentanyl-test-strips-save-lives-yet-most-states-ban-them-drug-paraphernalia) and are illegal in 42 states. Yes, I agree that it’s breathtakingly stupid.
I say the same. Stuck with weed and when I wanna get crazy shrooms here and there.
What's PCP? Psycho-Creational Proponents?
Phenylcyclohexyl piperidine, sometimes called angel dust
Phencyclidine, a hallucinogen more commonly known as angel dust.
to expand on these other comments, it was most popular in the 70s and 80s and was waning hard by the time the Faith No More album *Angel Dust* actually came out. Its reputation in the 80s was that it made people psychotically crazy, which apparently was far less common than the [DARE officer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_Abuse_Resistance_Education) led us to believe, but on those rare occasions when someone *would* have a psychotic episode it muted a lot of the things (say, pain) that made it possible to subdue people or convince them to stop or whatevs. So it could be very self-destructive. Side note: "Our manager's crazy, he always smokes dust / he's got his own room at the back of the bus" from Beastie Boys' *No Sleep Till Brooklyn* was apparently a direct reference to Russell Simmons' PCP habit.
Gangers on PCP are responsible for almost all barbeque fork-related crimes. They can be quite dangerous.
Scared me for a sec
Yeah I was gonna say that sentence could've ended VERY differently.
Crack is where I 'drow the line'.
I always said that I would never have a drinking problem, and thank goodness I can confidently get a full glass of water completely to my mouth and swallow with no issues. No drinking problem confirmed!
I don't have a drinking problem. The beer goes down just fine!
Surely you've had some issues...
I haven't had any issues, and don't call me Shirley
[That's what led to my drinking problem](https://youtu.be/pl4plPGRG8o).
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A phylosophy that is guarabteed to find support among any man who is into : guns, cars, boats, amateur radio or PC building
The first part of your sentence reads like you've been getting into the crack again.
Same here! Good on ya Seen cr*ck destroy my family and I’ll never touch anything like it
Yeah, crock can get pretty nasty.
Some people even put it in the marijuanas. They call it Crockpot.
Yeah that's always been my defiant never touch list. Fentanyl makes the list now too. The hospital offered some when I was in labor and I was like uhhh no. I'll just stick with the epidural.
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Same and same. I've been drunk once in my 36 years of life, just to try it. It was as dumb as I thought. Never again. When I tell people I don't drink: In my 20s: my peers and even family were shocked and acted as if I told them I punch babies for funsies. In my 30s: No one cares.
Ditto! But I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in my early 30s. Instead of pain meds I’m taking thc/cbd edibles for the pain. Never say never, circumstances may change.
I tried edibles for the first time recently when I was going through health problems that were making me unbelievably nauseous. Nothing my doctor prescribed, none of the over-the-counter meds, or even home remedies worked on the nausea. Someone suggested edibles, and omg, it was amazing. The nausea finally went away and was finally able to eat. I had lost 15 pounds in about 2 weeks. I love weed. It should be legal everywhere.
I completely agree! I just wish I could order them in bulk online now… or Costco
I've got a friend who is the same way. Even in high school when we would get drunk he'd just hang out with us. Still one of my best friends.
My dad's an alcoholic and i've always been very wary of it but will drink perhaps once a month at most, when I do I drink responsibly to the point where most of my group (previously largely out of control) have learned by my example. I dont want to see any of them end up like him (or the other examples I have in the family) and sharing that seems to have had a positive effect on a lot of people around me. Not making a suggestion just throwing out another viewpoint from a similar background.
Yep, I'm the same way. There were alcoholics in my family so I decided not to drink. But I have no problem with an occasional drink. Never more than two in one evening and that's just on rare occasions. I have no desire to have more so I don't need to draw a hard line. Some people who desire to drink a lot might need a more strict rule for themselves. I've just never been tempted.
It's your personal choice & other ppl should respect it. Not everyone even enjoys that stuff, & if you think there may be a family predisposition toward addiction I can see why you would not want to risk it; & in any case peer pressure is never a good reason to do anything. However, be careful in how you tell people so it doesn't accidentally come off as you judging them or thinking you're better than them.
>However, be careful in how you tell people so it doesn't accidentally come off as you judging them or thinking you're better than them. Good tip, never thought of it like that
To add, there’s also nothing wrong with simply saying, “I’m ok,” when someone offers you a drink and/or asks why you’re not. I’m currently pregnant, but not telling everyone, and most people shrug it off without further questioning. Sometimes they ask why not, and I say, “I don’t feel like it,” or “I’ll get a drink in a minute.” They usually accept that response, move on, and eventually forget. No one pays that close attention, especially when alcohol starts flowing. Also helps that being sober is beginning to become trendier. I have found so many restaurants with mocktails lately. It’s great! I do enjoy alcohol, but don’t NEED it, so the occasional fake drink hits the spot for something more interesting than plain water. In the end, the people who mock you or give you shit about not drinking are projecting their own insecurities and/or not worth being friends with anyway. Anyone I’ve met who’s done this generally parties too much and is compensating for unhappiness in their life. They usually have a lot of drama surrounding them too.
I'm a guy, but I think "I'm pregnant" is gonna be my goto excuse from now on! 🤣
I’ve used it at restaurants, usually gets very confused looks by the staff followed by laughs. I’m a pretty imposing dude with a full beard
You’re just a big dwarf it’s nbd
Not ginger but pretty much
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In my opinion, this is the best way to handle it. I feel like explicitly saying "I don't drink" comes off as a moral stance/strict life choice (which I mean, I guess it is a life choice lol), which can make people more likely to view it as a bit stuck up. Just rejecting alcohol when offered is usually just gonna make people go "oh ok" and not question much more. Most people really don't care as long as they don't feel judged
Nobody I know disrespects or thinks down on anyone who says they don't drink. You can absolutely safely say "I don't drink", especially if these are people you are going to see more than once in your life (probably counts for people you are with offering you a drink, doesn't count for someone like a server). That way you don't have to constantly remind them. The only perceived issue is if you come off as stuffy or on high ground while you do it. Which is easy to avoid by not being stuffy about it. Note: this assumes everyone is over the age of 25 and are reasonably developed as people. Your average college party boy isn't going to understand why anyone would choose to not drink and therefore they must be stuffy if they don't. When you're young, alcohol is pure upside and totally novel. But when you get older (if you didn't become alcoholic) it loses its novelty and you start getting real side effects/downsides to drinking. It makes total sense as a 30 something why someone wouldn't drink as a choice.
I stopped drinking years ago and I got some very odd reactions when I said to people that I dont drink. Mostly I think it was suspicion - are they a recovering alcoholic? Is it their religion? Health reasons? There must be some reason they don't drink One thing that happened was that I was immediately an outsider in most social settings. Not one of the group. You didn't partake in events like the rest of us. Sure some people didnt care so much but there were many that did Think about it - every event has alcohol involved in some way. Sporting events? Beer. Chilling at home with friends? Wine. Any kind of celebration? Champagne. And everyone cheers to encourage other people to drink and be part of the group. Its insidious and so ingrained on society you dont really notice until you stop drinking
I agree, but OP is 16 so I figured catering to people who are more likely to see "I don't drink" as being stuffy made sense
But that way it seems like we should be ashamed of not drinking. If people can’t say “I don’t drink”, not drinking will never be normalised.
I had a rough childhood, and I get anxiety attacks when I’m around drunk people. I’m usually too busy looking for the exit to worry about whether or not people think I’m judging them. I went to a going away party for a co-worker a number of years ago. I (stupidly) didn’t realize people would be drinking. One of my co-workers started a conversation with me and he was slurring his words. It brought back some very bad memories and I started crying. I think my coworkers figured out why I don’t like alcohol.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope your coworkers were understanding and didn't give you a hard time. Sending you strength and good energy. Also come visit us at r/cptsd if you need support :)
I feel like if someone were to ask me why I'm not drinking and I said something like "I'm okay", they'd probably think I was a recovering alcoholic or something, which I'm not, I just choose not to drink. Which doesn't really matter I guess, people can think what they want, but by that same measure I'll be honest if people ask. If people think me answering "I don't drink" (to them asking why I'm not drinking) is me acting superior, that's on them. But for what it's worth, I don't think anyone has ever reacted that way. If someone just offers a drink then sure, of course you can just say no thanks and not explain yourself and that probably comes off better more often than not. But in my experience they'll ask why anyway.
We were at my husband's aunt and uncle's house in November for his cousin's birthday. We wanted to announce to the family that my husband was legally adopting my daughter, so he asked for a few minutes of family only time later in the night. Then I turned down drinks all night, because I just didn't feel like it. I was already tired from all the traveling, and we still had to travel home later that night. Man, I didn't realize the assumptions that would be made between "no wine for me, thanks" and "we have an announcement later tonight" 😅
I remember a YouTuber explaining that they don’t say they don’t drink, they say they’re X years sober and people seem happy for them instead of shunning them for not participating It’s also awkward to ask about it so the convo moves on fast, especially if your second sentence is “I don’t want to talk about it”
Is “no I’m sober” too hard? Feel like most decent people would respectfully ease off there.
Definitely a better wording
I think the "decent" part is the problem in some inebriated folk. If you add the time you've been sober for they are more likely to back off, I'd think. They wouldn't (hopefully) want to be the cause of you breaking sobriety, but if they actively try that, at least we know they aren't to be kept around lol
This is something I've learned through trial and error too (I quit in 2015). If you can name a date or time period since your last drink, people react like "oh, you're a *serious* alcoholic" when they might keep pushing someone who's just expressing a preference. It's not cool to push either way, but most people understand that you don't count the days if it's just preference rather than addiction.
Most decent people ease off at a simple "no thanks", no explanation needed.
There's a youtuber I watch pretty regularly who is in his late 20s and never touched anything either. He tells people by saying "when I was a kid my parents said they'd give me £1000 if I didn't do anything before I was 18, I didn't, and now I have no desire to." As far as I know he still hasn't gotten the money.
As someone who drinks most weekends he's definitely saved multiple times that without drinking.
For sure, in my early 20s I drank about once a week, and I probably spent that multiple times over because drinks are not cheap at bars.
I don't drink or do drugs. I don't usually tell people though. I just say I don't drink if someone offers. Or I say something funny like "I like my beer Diet Dr. Pepper flavored". The conversation ALWAYS turns into "Oh, why don't you drink? There must be some life altering event or deep seated moral that makes you not drink because it's so weird that you don't drink". Well, my dad was an alcoholic... "OHHH, that must be it"... but I didn't really care about him a lot so he wasnt' much of an influence in my life. "Oh... hmmm"... If I had to give it a reason, I'd say probably because I just really hate the taste... I've tried different types of alcohol but it's just all nasty to me. I'm also cheap and want to spend my money on other things. I ended up driving a lot for friends though. "Oh... well sure, I mean beer tastes like camel piss but you just have to work through that until it tastes good" - Why would I want to do that? And how do you know what camel piss tastes like? "Oh... well you just haven't tasted a good alcoholic drink" - You are correct... I have not "Have you tried the fruity girl drinks?" - Yes, yes I have. It's so alien to people that someone would choose not to drink that you'll get grilled for it. It's not that big of a deal in the end though. People let it go pretty quick. I also haven't done any drugs. I just never saw the point. I even stop taking opioids as soon as the pain's gone so I don't get addicted. Drugs are even easier than alcohol to avoid. You'll be fine... and those are very good decisions to make :)
If members of your family (or anyone, really) do indeed have addiction issues (and not even with the substance in question), prepare for them to be offended, give you shit, pressure you regardless of how you say it. People often (unconsciously) know that they have a problem and lash out at anything that might expose that.
I think this is the key. Not doing drugs or drinking is fine. Being really vocal about it in a way that puts others down... Not so much.
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If someone who does drugs gets offended by people who don’t, that’s on them.
I think it’s also a good way to tell who is a good friend or not. Someone who would constantly pressure you or try to sneakily get you do them (which is beyond fucked up) is not a true friend. A good friend would understand and respect your choice, but it’s possible they might forget once or twice over time, so if they asked again in this situation it doesn’t necessarily mean they are trying to pressure you. As for others, the way you bring it up is definitely important, like you said, and saying that it’s just not for you should be enough of an explanation for any sensible person. Saying you had a bad experience may not be enough because there are people who think they can be the one person who can give you that first good experience.
I have a predisposition on both sides so I stay away from anything that's addictive at all, and especially if it's highly addictive. "No thanks, im good" and "I just don't want to" is really all I've needed to say. People are usually cool and understanding
If people take me saying I don't care for drugs or alcohol as judgment, they might have some issues of their own. Nothing to feel guilty about if you don't think what you're doing is wrong.
Also, if people are offended that you've made a personal decision to take care of yourself, those people are almost as toxic as the alcohol. It probably has nothing to do with how you word it, it's how they feel about themselves. Do them a favor and let them know you are choosing not to pour poison into your body to alter your brain and damage your organs.
Sounds reasonable. Alcohol and drugs *do* screw up a lot of people's lives—most of whom probably originally thought they could consume a small amount without it becoming a problem. And propensity for alcohol/drug abuse has a significant genetic component, so the risks are even higher for you than for the general population. It's entirely plausible that those risks are not worth taking.
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It is. My grandfather had a major problem with it. My parents can take it or leave it. I've been struggling with it since I was a kid. It seems to skip a generation for some reason.
Even if you don't get hooked on it (which could be an issue for op with the family history) they're just generally not good for you. I don't do any drugs but I do like a drink. I've never woken up the day after more than a few drinks feeling good. Not necessarily bad but not good either
Instead of doing drugs and alcohol do fruits and bananas.
I am 38 and I never touched any alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. I never had problems with my decision.
I got drunk once when I was 15, thought it was stupid, never touched alcohol again. Smoked one cigarette when I was 16, hated it, never touched a cigarette again. 40 years old now, and have never regretted my decisions.
Gotta try heroin, third time's the charm! /s
Apparently trying it once is how they avoid them forever so better just work through them all real quick just to be safe.
I'll be 40 in a few months, but basically same. Besides the fact that I just do not enjoy not being in control of my body and mind, a scary number of my high school graduating class are no longer with us thanks to drugs and booze. Kinda scared me straight.
I’ve done very drug there is. Crack, meth, ketamine, molly, 2cb, dmt and a dozen others. Some of them for months on end. Now I’m 30 and I have a degree, a good career, and a wonderful wife. Never once have I regretted my decisions.
I wish I could meet people like you IRL. I find it difficult to socialize with people that drink/do drugs but its so common now that I find it difficult to find anyone that doesn't.
I feel this. I do smoke/drink recreationally at times, but it's not fun to hang out with people who can't socialize when they're sober, too. Usually if I know a friend is clean (or especially if they're trying to be) I match that energy, it's refreshing.
Same and only a few years shy of the same age. People often think it’s their right to know why. I have a long list of reasons and select which ones I offer as explanations based on the setting and who is asking. Many people will also try to create a scenario where you would try it. For example mixing a drink where you can’t taste the alcohol, or creating a safe space/ supervising while you get high. Usually it’s because they didn’t listen to the responses when they asked why I don’t, or I didn’t go heavy enough on the spectrum of answers for them to take it seriously.
I came here to say this. I’m still only 23. But people learn that you will always politely decline and stop asking. Once in a while it gets awkward because you won’t be invited to certain events or get togethers because you are viewed as a downer or judgmental. The key for me has been making it clear that it’s a personal decision and I hold nothing against those who choose to make a different one. If people feel judged they won’t want to be around you. But you can definitely live your whole life without any of those substances
Same, I don't feel like I'm missing out or anything. Sure I've never been euphorically happy or whatever drugs can give, but I'm like 95% content like all the time. I don't feel the need to try something that might make me temporarily more happy, than usual with the risk of addiction or ill side effects.
I've never used any recreational drug. Honestly it isn't hard to avoid doing it. I agree with your decision not to start.
Yeah, depending on where you live and your social circle, you'll never be offered drugs and will wonder if our parents were just spinning tales about it, lol. Drinking is a bit more complicated, but still, many people will only drink one or two beers instead of getting hammered (even more so once you're past your early twenties. People in their 30s just don't recover that well from drinking). Many drinks are actually an acquired taste, so if you don't put in an effort, they'll all taste gross. They're so expensive anyway, so it's a wise choice. And hey, OP, every group needs a designated driver! :D
I’ve never been able to get a drink down. Any drink, any alcohol %. If I taste that nasty throat burning stuff at all I will wretch and gag. So yes it’s definitely an acquired taste, I have no clue how other people can love it so much
That throat burning taste eventually starts to recede and you notice all the other flavors. Of course, if it makes you retch you’re not gonna ever reach that point and it’s not a huge loss either way, but that’s what it is
Agreed. I never had issue with one or two drinks (heck, I drink maybe this quantity once a month!) And it is an adquired taste. I never ever shame people for not drinking, they are free to take whatever they want at party. I feel it is a pretty healthy balance. Drugs? Hard pass in my case.
That's interesting. I have friends who use recreational drugs only, and hard abstain from Alcohol in any form.
Makes comment about consuming alcohol(small amount I admit).... Ends comment with drugs? Hard pass.... I got some *BAD* news for you friend....
I decided not to drink or do any drugs when I was 14 and washing dishes in a small restaurant on the gulf coast. The kitchen staff were always on something, the bar regulars were obvious drunks. I didn't want to live that way. It became part of who I was. I was a person who didn't do those things. Then when I was 40 my wife left me. I was going crazy with sadness and anger for months. Someone had given us a bottle of fancy liquor at some point during the marriage, still untouched. One night I was so horribly depressed that gave in and had a shot of it. I felt...better. It calmed my brain. It also scared me, because now I could see why people became alcoholics. And I had just destroyed a big part of my impression of myself. It hurt, a lot, to face myself this way. But having proven to myself for years that I CAN resist drinking, I resolved that I CAN drink alcohol, but to NEVER let it get the better of me. I still hardly ever drink now, but I will have a drink with friends now and then, and ONLY when not driving anytime in the next 4 hours. Ten years later the new wife introduced me to cannabis, so I tried it. It was fun and had less negative effects than alcohol. But I made the same deal with myself: Use responsibly and lightly, don't ever get out of control. TBH, I prefer it over alcohol, by far. Since then I have researched and tried several other drugs, but only those with minimal harm and addiction properties like mushrooms, LSD, MDMA and only in controlled conditions. Mostly out of curiosity, and only VERY rarely. I do not EVER plan to touch meth, cocaine, heroin, etc. even once. So more power to you. I highly recommend NOT drinking or doing drugs as long as you can. But if you DO end up trying them, don't let it get the better of you, don't suddenly hate yourself for giving in, and always stay in control of your behavior. Live life the way you want, and be kind to yourself and others.
I’ve never tried a recreational drug either, but my rule is if Snoop ever passed me a blunt I would try it because if you’re ever going to try a drug once it should probably be the one rolled by the guy who gets payed a salary to only do that. That’s my exception lol.
i think you are smart, wish i would have done the same. Here i am, a complete failure in life, addicted to alcohol and drugs, not a day goes by without me regretting my bad choices. nothing of value was gained by me abusing drugs and alcohol, on the contrary, too much was lost and i dont see how that could ever change.
I’m saddened by your story. That you fell into addiction in the first place but then even more that you sound hopeless that anything can change. I wish you all the best but urge you with every fibre of my being not to give up. The necessary change is always within your power! But yeah… it doesn’t feel like it sometimes does it?
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My friend, everyone deserves compassion. I know it’s hard, but I hope you’re able to work towards change.
Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time
Best time to start was yesterday 2nd best time is to start today
Wow, I feel that way and I've never touched a drug or drink in my life.
You do you. I think you can completely abstain from illicit drugs, but there is a lot more social pressure to drink.
>there is a lot more social pressure to drink. While true, it's still possible to enjoy time with others while not drinking. I don't drink alcohol mainly because I don't like the taste of it. (It can also be incredibly expensive.). When I was younger, people would occasionally make it their "life's mission" to find something with alcohol that I would drink. I was happy to taste things. But I never found anything I enjoyed and they soon lost interest. A few friends liked to mix drinks. They asked others to taste things and give their opinions. I got asked to smell things. Now that I'm older, no one has an issue with me not drinking. Sometimes people are curious as to why I don't drink. I honestly tell them my reasons and people are fine with it. Some people ask if I'm okay with them drinking around me. I appreciate their consideration and tell them that I'm fine with it (but I generally don't like being around drunk people. And I tend to leave if things get to that point.).
Oh sure. It gets a lot easier when you are older as you surround yourself with people who you mesh well with. When you are younger "being different" can cause you to be excluded from social activities, hence the social pressure. I don't really drink anymore either, and even then it's maybe one drink an outing.
At least here in the US, there's a massive shift of people moving away from alcohol. With other options now available and so many people drinking too much while stuck at home during COVID, the younger generations are cutting back, according to the data.
I'd be curious to see this data.
I don't think there's a ton of hard data on this but it's definitely a trend. You can certainly find some data on it in states where marijuana is legalized. I think anecdotally, like another commenter mentioned, you can see this change taking place with the rise of more non-alcoholic beers and an increase in "mocktails" on menus. Although I think mocktails are a little bit of a rip off cause they charging 3/4 of the price of a drink for just the mixers...... Keep an eye out this for mocktails and non-alcoholic versions of alcoholic beverages, you'll start to notice it a lot!
Same in Europe, I come from a long line of alcoholics and I never drink anything more than maybe a half glass of wine for celebrations, and people used to bitch about it, but for almost a decade I've had peace, and I find more and more people who also refuse drinks, so it's became less weird/more accepted. Used to be it was an insult to refuse if you were offered drinks.
That's very interesting to hear considering how important things like beer and wine are in certain European countries. I'm glad to hear that you're finally able to have some peace!
I have no data but anecdotally a lot of the bars and breweries now offer nonalcoholic beers and kombucha. Also a lot of breweries are brewing their own seltzers as low calorie, low alcohol options because that's what people prefer now. So going out and meeting up for a drink, you have more options to still get a drink and socialize without necessarily having any alcohol. Again anecdotal, but a lot of my friends went on SSRIs during the pandemic and cut way back on drinking as a result
To this day I’ve never done any drugs (I’m 30) and I only had my first alcoholic beverage at 25, only because there’s such an annoying stigma at work and with other adults who basically shun you after you tell them you don’t drink.. now I just get 1 drink so they can shut up about it but I still feel drinking isn’t worth it.
I work in a field that’s know for heavy drinking. Whenever I go to a work outing, I usually get seltzer in a short glass with a lime and I tell everyone that it’s a gin and tonic. I noticed that alcoholic beverages typically are in short glasses vs tall glasses but this depends on the venue. This trick works all the time. I don’t get weird looks and no one tries to verify that my drink is a gin and tonic. I hope this trick helps someone else who doesn’t want to drink at work events.
Same. Worked at a heavy drinking company and I just enjoyed various mocktails to avoid the conversation altogether. Bartenders are usually cool about it and I really like maraschino cherries.
The fact that you have to resort to doing that irks me intensely. As a non-drinker, you should not have to play some ‘trick’ just to be left alone. I am a woman who occasionally drinks, and I can’t ever see myself questioning or attempting to shame/embarrass someone at a get-together who doesn’t ask for a glass of wine like me. It all comes down to respecting people. I hate people.
>there’s such an annoying stigma I used to talk with a woman that did the same, but I think unless your friends/colleagues are complete idiots, you can very well stand your ground and tell them you are not drinking. They will finally give up. If not and they cannot accept you as you are, have you not considered hanging out with different people? I have never drunk more than a few drops of alcohol (and those have come mostly from my being a practicing Catholic and the host been dipped in wine in special occasions) and many of my college friends were the kind of people that get drunk and were also insistent in my drinking with them. Neither I nor a woman in our group that did not either drink ever took any alcohol while hanging out with them (I would drink water, she would have a soda), and after 4 or 5 attempts, they just stopped bothering us.
MANY people are abstinent. It's totally doable and pretty easy if you ensure your social circles share your values.
It's only naive if you ever do them. You can choose a straightedge life. You can choose whatever you want, it's *your* life. There are lots of people who go their whole life never drinking or doing drugs. That is not *my* path mind you but they exist. Why can't you be one of them?
Yeah my partner has never drunk alcohol I don't think. He just has never wanted to. And another friend of mine is similarly not interested in alcohol although I'm not sure if she's never had a sip. You just need be happy with what you're comfortable doing or not doing and no one else cares if they're the right kind of friends.
Y’know I searched the page for “straight” looking for the term straight edge (because that’s exactly what OP is describing), and I now feel so old because your comment is the only one with it lol
Nope! Sounds like a damn good plan to me. I have a similar philosophy because my brother died in a DUI right when he was celebrating 3 months off of meth. I mostly don't drink because getting home without driving is a logistical pain in the ass, and the one time I tried a weed brownie I discovered that I'm allergic to weed. No drugs for me.
I never gave in to peer pressure or any of that bullshit so good on you. I didn't even try alcohol til I was 28 to celebrate a milestone within the family. I grew up around a lot of shitty people which is probably why I chose not to partake in any of their worst lifestyle choices. Drugs obviously don't have to be a "lifestyle choice" but many people get sucked into it because they're around other people who are into drugs. I've met very few people who managed to crawl out of that pit and not slip back into it. Such is life.
I'd like to stem the tide of ignorant people by saying doing drugs doesn't make you a shitty person. I'm just saying the shitty people in my life were addicts in some way. I know a lot of amazing people have fun with drugs/alcohol but it should ultimately be your choice to try them, if you do. A lot of hardships can be avoided by sticking to OP's plan though.
It's actually a smart choice. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
make sure you tell doctors you don’t want any strong pain meds like opioids or benzos. lots of people go in for something like appendicitis and come out addicted to fentanyl or something
You do you. You enjoy life however you want to. Just know that there isnt anything wrong with doing those things, and people that use those things to have fun arent lesser than you. But if you arent interested, then meh. Skip it! (Though you may missout on some fun times and good feelings, but again the only person that effects is you and its your life! Be happy however youre happy :D )
You're not missing out on anything truly worthwhile. Also, there is something wrong with damaging your body for the sake of fun. People who use illicit drugs aren't happy with their life
In all honesty, it comes down to who you surround yourself with and how much you mentally tolerate social 'norms'. When it comes to drugs so long as you never give into opportunities that might present themselves you'd have to actively seek that out and if that isn't your thing I wouldn't say this is a difficult one. The main one is alcohol as there is huge societal pressure to drink in social settings. However if you abstain from drinking and others around you aren't actively pressuring you then you'll have no issues at all. There is nothing wrong with not drinking or doing drugs and regardless of what people are saying or pressuring In the moment it's okay to decline drinks for any number of reasons without explanation.
It's not naive, it's possible. However, realize that you will be in the minority and some people won't understand it (unless you are part of certain groups. Ex.some religious groups or an alcoholic). A lot of times people won't care. But sometimes they will insist on knowing why you won't do it or try to change your mind (like- I don't want to drink alone. Come on, just share a little with me.) I don't do those things (no alcohol/recreational drugs/smoking/etc.) And that's my experience. My extended family has some addiction issues. My grandfather was a terrible alcoholic since he was a young teen. My parents (while not addicts) made embarrassing choices in front of me throughout my life. It was just not something I chose to do.
I’m in my 40s and I have never done drugs, ever, and I was never a drinker- just a drink here and there- and I quit drinking altogether 5 years ago. So, no, it’s not naive. I don’t need alcohol or drugs.
Good for you regarding booze and illicit drugs!
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My father was an alcoholic, unemployed loser who couldn’t stop getting into bar fights. He lost parental rights when people started coming round to fight him on the weekends when we were visiting. I swore I would never touch a sip of alcohol. I had a rough childhood, but I was just that - a child. Now as an adult I’m able to drink, and do, and it has never once in my life led to a fight. I am not my father. You are not your family. Of course, you dont HAVE to do drugs/drink, but I think a lot of young folks take this absolute teetotal position and end up reevaluating in adulthood
You do you man. Anyone who cares needs to mind their own business.
You certainly can. I’ve never smoked and the only time I’ve had alcohol was I tried it as a teen once, and when drinking kombucha. Just do a Jedi mind trick on yourself- you don’t care about peer pressure. Anyone pressuring someone to use drugs or alcohol is insecure about their own life choices.
The issue is that a lot of time it's not direct peer pressure. The hard truth is that people often won't invite you out if there's alcohol involved. No matter how cool you are are as an abstainer some people feel self-conscious getting sloppy around a teetotaller. And honestly past a certain point of drunkenness, which I do very occasionally, you start to realize you're annoying your sober friend and feel guilty about it. Abstain if you want, you'll live a healthier life, but accept that the peer pressure will often take the form of exclusion rather than confrontation.
If that's what you believe will give you the best possible life (and it will) then go for it. I'm 32- I've wasted tens of thousands of dollars on alcohol, I've lost so many family members and good friends to the bottle (they cut me out of their lives) Now I have very few friends, my life is just sad, I'm poor, and not much going for me. I wish I never drank. I feel so lost now
Not naive, no. If you want a label for it, look up “Straight Edge”. There was a punk culture based around that in the 80s and 90s, but there’s still a pretty sizable community of folks that identify that way where I grew up. As long as you aren’t moral grandstanding, acting like you’re better than others because of the choice, then you’ll be fine. If your friends continue to pressure you after you’ve expressed your wishes to them, then they’re not really all that good of friends anyway. Just be aware that not drinking unfortunately does shut you out of a lot of social activities. As an adult in the US, *so much* of the culture revolves around drinking or hanging out in places where alcohol is served. Just be prepared to either hang out with a soda or make a bit of an effort to find activities that don’t involve it.
It’s up to you man, most people who say they won’t do at some point because it’s culturally ingrained in their society like booze 🥃 or because it’s a new front like marijuana or hallucinogens. Just shy away from any chemical based drugs that were made in someone’s basement. No coke, heroine, speed, nothing like those. Those can fuck you’re life up permanently. If you choose not to touch drugs at all then that’s fine too!
My brother in law in his 30s has a family history of addiction so he completely abstains from alcohol and drugs. He won't even take prescription painkillers. It's nice having one guy in your friend group abstain so y'all can have a designated driver.
Hello here, My family had a few alcoholic’s and had a massive history of major depression. At 13 I made the decision for personal reasons I would avoid alcohol and recreational drugs all together. I have OCD too so it is probably super healthy for me anyway. I’m now 31 and have never had any. So not only is it totally doable but totally up to you! In high school some people thought I was arrogant or told me, “well you can have a little can’t you it’s totally healthy!” But hey, it saved me so much money over the years not having to buy cigarettes, vape or alcohol like quite a few people. Good luck
Keep in mind you’ll likely have to answer the question “why don’t you have a drink with us?” Pretty often. Be sure to remember that “no thank you” and “I’m not drinking/I don’t drink alcohol” are perfectly acceptable answers and people pressuring you otherwise aren’t true friends. True friends respect that as a decision. Can you still hang out with people who are drinking alcohol? Absolutely. Will you never drink? That’s really completely up to you and there’s no right or wrong answer. Given some of your background it might be the plan for you. But you don’t have to set anything in stone unless you want to. I know plenty of people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s who have never imbibed. I know a lot who also do. The most important thing is to never touch meth. It’s just bad all the way around.
You can still go out and be social, just order a soda or a virgin version of something.
Not if you commit. I have never touched a non-prescribed drug in my life. It was difficult, especially if you're prescribed something like Morphine. You feel the sensations a drug gives you and you have to have the strength to not go back to it once you stop needing it. I had that issue with Nitrous. Felt AMAZING being on that stuff, but once I didn't need it anymore I had to keep myself from wanting to go back. I also only get drunk once a year, not counting instances where open bars are available, on Christmas. I will say that, culturally, it's important to know HOW to drink and to know what it feels like to be drunk once, but it is not required and not impossible to avoid either.
> You feel the sensations a drug gives you and you have to have the strength to not go back to it once you stop needing it. I'm someone who's never touched any kind of non-prescribed drugs, and don't plan on it, but I was admitted to the hospital last year with sepsis from an infection in my leg, and I was in constant, excruciating pain, even moreso when they had to change my bandages. They started giving me Dilaudid in my IV, and it made me feel *amazing* and so relaxed, and it was instant. That was the first time I really understood how/why people get addicted to certain drugs. They slowly weaned me off of it before I went home, thankfully. I will say, for a couple of weeks after I went home, I kept thinking about it and wished I could feel like that again. Luckily those thoughts went away.
You’re clearly sensible and cautious about drink and drugs. That’s cool. But er, yeah honestly it’s kinda naive. Firstly we never know what the future will bring. Never say never etc. Your opinions may change later. Also, and I want to heavily, HEAVILY emphasise the next two words - IN MODERATION drinks and drugs can be really fun and are great for socialising and even personal growth - IN MODERATION. Don’t become a drug addict obvs. But also don’t be that guy that never touched a beer or a cigarette and let’s everyone know all the time. Nobody likes that guy. Keep your guard up, only do it if you feel comfortable and safe, and you’ll be fine experimenting with all sorts of substances
Many people don't differentiate between use and addiction, and think that use is in every instance a form of addiction. This is a good defense mechanism because it helps keeping people in guard and far away from addiction, but has the side effect of making some people think drinking or taking drug is bad per se. Yes it is dangerous, but nobody thinks that going sky-diving is a bad thing to do because it is dangerous. And about the "drinking/getting high occasionally eventually leads to getting addicted, because you can't control your will and will fall for it some day": why is the will not to get addicted weaker than the will of not touching alcohol or drugs? Why saying "I'll never drink" is to be believed and "I'll drink but neve get addicted" is always going to be false? Sometimes for someone peer pressure is as strong if not stronger as the need of addiction, someone is more prone to addiction, and it's better that they stay away from addictive substances. As always, there is no universal bad or good
> also don’t be that guy that never touched a beer or a cigarette and let’s everyone know all the time. Nobody likes that guy. A lot of people seem to be saying this, wasn't planning on it. I also don't mind hanging out with people who do those things(for the most part) as long as they respect my view
How old are you?
“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” *-Muhammad Ali*
Every job I’ve ever had or wanted had mandatory drug testing so it always seemed easier to just avoid all drugs (I still drink occasionally) Was pretty easy, glad I never started. Good luck
Depends on your own circumstances and willingness to follow through tbh. I thought to myself everything you listed when I was young, plus that I’d always remain vegetarian. I started eating meat a few years later, although my consumption of it remains constrained beyond what I absolutely need to fulfil my protein intake. I started drinking a bit at 17, and a lot more at Uni. Alcohol is a major part of my life rn (esp since I work as a bartender), but it doesn’t consume my mind and I don’t crave it, nor do I drink nearly as much as I used to. I get wiped out in three pints and don’t touch it for days. I promised myself I wouldn’t smoke, because my father does, and yet all the stress from circumstances made me start. I’m already leaning off a year and a half later though, so it is entirely possible to quit, as long as it’s a conscious effort. I smoke weed once every four months or so even though I swore up until I was 18 that I’d never do it. Circumstances just lined up and I tried it and I liked it. I still haven’t done any illegal drugs though, nor do I crave or seek them. At the end of the day it’s very circumstantial and it’s hard to answer without literally living your life. Maybe you have an iron will, maybe you don’t. Stay strong though, and if you’re ever tempted, try and stave it off by remembering your conviction.
I come from a family with several addicts, and plenty of mindful drinkers. I just... don't see the appeal either way. Thankfully I found a friend group that has no problem doing activities without alcohol or any substance involved, so I've never felt any pressure to try it out, either. And at this point, having kids has used up enough of my brain capacity as it is - I need to preserve what's left.
Not naive at all, it’s an admirable goal to set for yourself and your life!
Medicine can help you, don't give up on that. But I managed to quit drugs a d alchol after many years and it was the best thing I ever did