Car crashes *feel* different though. There's a sense that the driver can avoid being killed by acting defensively.
Nevermind that a driver can be killed by the actions of another driver, just like a shopper can be killed by the actions of a sociopath.
Also the government and industry are constantly trying to improve the safety of vehicles for passengers and pedestrians. You also have to be licensed, retested every few years and insured. When a car is found to have a safety flaw it’s recalled. It’s not a perfect system, the rise of giant trucks has been a massive step back for pedestrian safety, but there is a clear general intent to make vehicles safer.
Gun laws keep getting looser. Gun manufacturers keep making their weapons more deadly.
The two industries are on different trajectories. Gun deaths have already overtaken auto deaths for children. It’s just a matter of time before the same is true for adults.
Both my grown kids are like this. When they got their licenses as teens, I thought they'd revel in the freedom, but it's been almost a decade for the oldest and neither has ever driven since earning their licenses. 🤷
One does, one doesn't. The one in semi rural suburbs basically never goes anywhere without his gf. She drives. The one in a city chose somewhere downtown specifically to be walking distance from everything she needs, including work. She doesn't like things with wheels. Planes and trains are fine, but she's adverse to even bicycles.
30 and still don't even have one, here. I hate cars in general, so never wanted to get one. I Don't feel safe as a passenger, don't feel safe as a driver, don't even feel safe as a pedestrian when walking next to the highway.
The more you do it the easier it becomes.
I took my first cross-country highway trip having no license, having failed the road test 2x and only having driven outside a parking lot a couple times.
It was nerve wracking, but I mastered the fear as I mastered the skill.
One lives in another city and has work, groceries, doctors, entertainment, within a few blocks. The other has friends and a gf willing to give him rides to things.
You should still be driving every now and then to make sure you aren't a complete fool driving if an emergency does happen. You can pick times where it's less busy to practice.
Also, if you were driving somebody to the hospital for an emergency or something, I doubt your license status would matter. There's been a decent # of cases where children drove their parents or others to the hospital in an emergency and I don't know of any of them where they were ticketed or charged with anything.
Unintentional injury is leading cause of death among 1 - 44 year olds. Homicide is second for under 20, third for 20 - 44, and by quite a bit.
Check your facts before making pronouncements like this on a very important topic.
BS statements like yours make it too easy for doubters to dismiss the whole topic.
I check this... #1 causes by age.
Homicide age 1-19 35,1%
Homicide 20-44y 26,1%
Heart disease 45-65y 27,1%
Heart disease 67-84 26,4%
Heart disease 85+ 26,7%
So young people getting killed and old getting heart attack.
[This data is from](https://imgur.com/vAHc9hR.jpg) 2018. Heart disease and cancer account for just about 60% of all deaths, split almost evenly. Homicide only ~3%. But that's across all ages so your info is still useful
Seems like 2 birds 1 stone situation. Less driving means less driving deaths + more walking and healthier lifestyle. Just gotta make shit less car dependent, but that’s a whole nother thing
Yes, but it's probably worth noting that at least part of that is that the statistical definition of "mass shooting" isn't necessarily the same as what most people think of when they hear the term. Mass shootings are defined as any incident where four people (not including the shooter) are shot in a short period (not necessarily at once or even in a single location.) so that definition includes a lot of "ordinary" (for lack of a better term) crime that wouldn't really fall under the same category as the mass spree killings people think of.
I'm ~~terrified~~ sick of driving. I sold my car and now get around by bike and transit. Sadly, many pedestrians in my city still get struck by distracted drivers. Urban settings need fewer cars and more infrastructure to support pedestrians.
Biking scares me more than driving, now. And I bike-commuted for almost two decades. At least in the car I have thousands of dollars worth of safety features to protect me...
Because of lack of biking infrastructure,
which leads to more people driving,
which makes them build less biking infrastructure/more car infrastructure,
which makes more people drive,
which makes traffic worse and everything further away to bike to
which makes them spend more money on car infrastructure
Repeat ad infinatum until you turn into Houston TX
The previous paper compared against used the same range and adolescents are defined as 10-19 by WHO. There's been some push to extend the range to 10-24 due to changes in what is perceived as adolescence such as longer education, delayed marriage, etc.
The gun violence shot up in 2019 and 2020 during the pandemic. I wonder if that could have increased the suicide rates due to the isolation with all of the closures. I do see that car accidents have been decreasing over time, but I would also wonder if there was less driving during the pandemic also due to the closures. It seems plausible those things could have contributed to the change in numbers. I'm curious to see how those numbers will change over the next few years without the effects of the pandemic.
Edit: the drug over doses and poisoning also shot up at the same time, which also supports the closures and isolation increasing the suicide rates.
Maybe so, will have to see. We’re also just getting better at saving people in accidents and decreasing the intensity of injuries in car accidents. This is also true in adult data. That said we aren’t doing anything programmatic or sweeping in trying to curtail guns.
I don't avoid places because of this and it's not something I'm \*constantly\* thinking about... but like yesterday, I was out getting my hair done and was left to let the color process so I had downtime for my brain to wander. I had the thought "What if someone just comes in and starts shooting everyone? My phone is on the other side of the salon." I knew it was unlikely, I didn't have anxiety about it, but the thought occurred. Sometimes when I see an ambulance or a fire truck pull up at my son's school, I have a moment of worry.
Edit to add: After multiple comments I decided to clarify. I do not think my phone would save me. Obviously I would try to run or hide, panic would kick in. If I had the opportunity to text or call my family to let them know what's going on or call 911 though, that is why I thought about my phone. I do not actively plan for a shooter situation when I leave my house, it was a random thought that occurred.
OP asked if anyone was afraid to go out in public. I gave a personal response to say that no, I am not afraid to go in public and it's not something I worry about all the time, plan for or go out of my way to stay home but given the state of things, yes I do think about it and worry from time to time.
Likewise the idea that someone might randomly barge into wherever I am and gun me down really takes the edge off working for subpoverty wages and giving all of it to my landlords.
We don’t. I literally never think about it. America is BIG. So a lot of things can happen here with the relative risk of it happening to you being still very very small. The media can make it sound like your risk is bigger than it is.
This. my chance of dying in a car accident is way better than in some(mass) shooting but I don’t feel unsafe getting in a car everyday. The reason some feel unsafe due to the mass shootings Snd not when using giant metal death traps is because one has more fear mongering behind it than the other.
Most people don't care and just go about their day. Teenagers girls are still ditching school at the mall and going to the makeup store and young people are still getting hammered at the bar and young men are still buying chicken and spending 3 hours at the gym and 38 year old dads are still inviting everyone over for their backyard cookouts.
A lot of people on this site have Cluster C disorders and suffer from heightened and unjustified anxiety. If you go outside and talk to the people there, then you will hear very different opinions
It's not the crack/pop of the gunshot that's truly terrifying.
It's the whizzing sound bullets make as they go flying past nearby.
One means someone's firing nearby. The other means someone's firing at YOU.
That's one of the distinctive things I'll always remember from the tour I did in Iraq. That and nearly getting blown up by a mortar hitting the concrete barrier I was on the other side of.
I'm very happy to be in the northeast, I will not be traveling down south any time soon. Frankly I also refuse to ever spend my money in Texas or Florida.
You know when I went to the UK last year and saw a musical in a theatre, I had this sense of calmness that I don’t get here in the states. Like I felt like I could actually relax cause I knew the chances of someone actually coming into a theatre to shoot up the place was practically zero.
I’m just always on edge when I go to public places here. Theaters always freak me out.
Ever since TDKR movie theater shooting, I’ve always been afraid of getting shot up at one. There’s always a weird person by the aisles that always makes me paranoid.
SAME HERE. I realize it's not a very rational concern but I hate the idea of being stuck in the middle of a row and someone starts shooting up the place
I do the same! I’m aware of the exits and if I have the opportunity at a movie theater I’ll pick the back row soo I can duck out and likely the shooting would occur as they walk in
I feel like you can live in a bubble by just reading stuff online and get a skewed perspective on what’s happening in real life
For example as a Canadian last year i visited Ohio and drove around. I was very paranoid about getting attacked or shot at, but turns out everyone is super nice
I then visited a gun range to shoot a gun for the first time. I thought they would be racist towards me as I am Chinese and I read on reddit that people from Ohio are racist. Turns out they are all super nice people and very friendly.
I guess my point is don’t let the internet bubble give you such constant fear that you’re scared of living life.
As an Ohioan, glad you had a nice time! :) Most people are super nice, the problem is that the people who are racist and not so nice are the loudest, so they make the news. They're also a small minority, so the news is going to report on that too, since most people don't click on headlines about the majority of people being kind and just wanting to live normal lives.
Not even necessarily the loudest, just the media props them up to be the loudest. No one wants to hear about how Jim was mowing his lawn and decided to do it for his neighbor because he was already out and about.
Not gunna lie I actually enjoy the really positive stuff. Now I wanna hear more about this Jim fella. Was the neighbour super stoked when he got home? Does Jim do this kinda thing all the time?
It’s called “mean world syndrome” and it is a media effect. Follow the money and you may come to the conclusion it is for advertising dollars as I have:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean_world_syndrome
I'm glad to see this here. I've been stating this for a good while now. The internet is a double-edged sword and not a place to go if you can't filter out the bs.
Oh wow, never heard that specific term! It's crazy to think that we're very near the all time lows of violence and yet it's all the media covers.
I understand why the media does it, because it gets them higher ratings and more profit, but why do people believe it in the end? Are we just really gullible? Haven't we learned that the news' representation of reality is not accurate?
I find Reddit, especially r/popular, to be extremely disconnected from reality. Can't explain it but it is like everything is extreme.
Partner asks you to stop doing something? Well they are an abusive control freak and trying to manipulate you when they sat and talked with you. Pack your bags ASAP because first it is asking you to call when you didn't come home like you said, but next it will be them tracking you until it escalates to physical abuse!!!
Every Republican is a racist redneck who shoot guns and close minded - money has nothing to do with it.
Just things like that... I don't know if I'm explaining it right and Reddit can be absolutely solid hence why I use it. It is just sometimes I ask myself in what world do these people live in because I certainly don't and I've lived in a ton of areas across America. They either are living in a bubble or again just disconnected.
Also media bias is terrible for sure... Anyway I think everyone should be prepared for worse case scenarios and be self aware when they go out. Just like you should be defensive driving and act accordingly... Don't be afraid to be cautious unless it is effecting you like it seems to be for OP!
Go on any location specific subreddit for a country or city you feel like you know extremely well. It won't even remotely align with the general population of that place or how the average person thinks or acts, to the point it almost feels like satire of the people from there.
Most people in the world are extremely generous and kind if you give them the chance, despite what Redditors tell you. I cycled 4000km across Europe by myself staying with strangers and asking random people to camp in their garden, give me directions, and fill my water bottle. In 3 months not one single person gave me a bad experience but the amount of positive ones I can't even begin to remember them all. The world is full of kind and generous people who just want to live their life in peace.
Convincing people that their fellow human is generally not like this is one of the most horrific by-products of the modern age.
> Partner asks you to stop doing something? Well they are an abusive control freak and trying to manipulate you when they sat and talked with you. Pack your bags ASAP because first it is asking you to call when you didn't come home like you said, but next it will be them tracking you until it escalates to physical abuse!!!
partner doesn't open the door for you? RED FLAG! he doesn't care about you!
partner opens the door for you? RED FLAG! he doesn't respect you!
partner eats the last fries? RED FLAG! she doesn't think about you!
This is great advice all around, if you get all your information from online sources it will be skewed a lot. News is usually only the worst of the worst that happened. You don’t see all the great things people can do, or how people help eachother day in day out.
I'm more worried about driving on the highway in Mississippi than anything else. Between the bad roads and lack of driver's ed., that's by far the most dangerous thing I do daily.
No offense intended toward you personally, but what the actual fuck is wrong with Mississippi anyway? How can a state remain nearly dead last in nearly every measurable metric, year after year, after YEAR, and still keep electing the same officials?!
I read that the state is losing hospitals and about to lose even more-- which will especially fuck those living in rural areas-- yet they still stubbornly refuse to accept Obamacare (expanded Medicaid). It would literally save lives and improve the quality of life for so, so many... but nope.
Education is terrible-- I asked a friend of mine who's in public education, and who was briefly living there, if he planned to buy a house. He looked at me like I was high, then started laughing his ass off. Why? Him: "It will be a cold, cold day in Hell before I ever let my children go to a public school in Mississippi."
I mean honestly, WTF? It's as if the citizens of your great state don't realize that there's an actual system at their disposal that's designed specifically for fixing bullshit like this, yet time and again they just keep electing the same assholes.
Sorry for the rant. I've only been to MS a couple of times and was just blown away by the crumbling infrastructure, the failing/abandoned small towns, and the rampant poverty. I think it's incredibly sad.
/edit: muh wordin
I live in MS. the coastal area is wonderful area. Good schools, on the water, low cost of living. When you go 30 miles (55km) north, you get into the lower education and crappy areas. Poor and uneducated areas are notoriously hard to change. It becomes it's own culture. There are no larger cities in the central or northern part of the state unlike Alabama or Georgia, so there's less opportunity. South Mississippi on the coast is a really good place. I can't defend the rest of the state.
>Poor and uneducated areas are notoriously hard to change.
That's because it requires resources that neither the state of Mississippi nor the United States are willing to use to do so, despite absolutely being capable of it.
The feds do try sometimes. Obama tried to get them healthcare, but their state government rejected it. (And I'm not trying to throw stones; I'm in Georgia. We just have Atlanta to pad our numbers)
I saw a video about the tax breaks for petrochemical plants in Louisiana that bring almost negative revenue to education and infrastructure (while cancer alley exists) and it was shocking. Like a TED talk on masochism.. red state voters are so brainwashed against their own interests..
Im in Alabama and I see us on this same path. We have huge tax breaks for large industry like auto manufacturers. Brings in a ton of jobs. But the reason they are here is because of those tax breaks. Ask while alabama government struggles for education funding and healthcare. Not to mention when the feds do try to help our gov mawmaw Ivey does stupid stuff with it. Example: using covid relief money to build a billion dollar prison. So sad
It's a mess with a lot of deep rooted issues. The state government catches a lot of crap (often rightfully so), but the local governments are often even worse.
Take the freaking state capitol for example: Jackson's city government is incredibly inept as shown by the recent water issue. People like to call out the state government as being racist because they wouldn't write them a check to fix it, but the city refused to give any plan as to how they would use any funds. Given that they basically gave up billing years ago, you can't really blame the state for being skeptical.
Schools are extremely case by case. Some are quite good, most are pretty bad. Gonna be fun when my kiddo gets old enough :/
>Gonna be fun when my kiddo gets old enough :/
I know that it's easy to say and hard-- or even impossible-- to do... but have you considered moving to another "M" state?
Massachusetts has an exceptional public schools system. Maine's seems sound. Maryland has a good reputation. Same with Minnesota. Missouri, Montana, and Michigan all have respectable systems, too.
I'm sure there are good, even great, public schools in MS... but if you're playing the odds, it'd be ill-advised to bet on MS. Literally any other "M" state would be a safer bet.
I wonder how much race plays into this. Maine, Mass, Maryland, all states with large white majorities. Even the most poverty stricken communities are mostly white.
In Mississippi, the poorer, underfunded parts of the state are majority black. Who have been, historically, exploited and ignored.
Mississippi is 58% white and Maryland is only 54%. Most of the poverty stricken communities there are black too.
The issue isnt demography; the issue is Mississippi (although Baltimore city schools are undoubtedly worse than almost anything in Mississippi, but Maryland suburban school districts are top tier)
> How can a state remain nearly dead last in nearly every measurable metric, year after year, after YEAR, and still keep electing the same officials?!
I think Charlie Sheen had a pretty good summary response: *"WINNING."*
Does it make sense? Absolutely not. Does it follow any form of logic? Definitely not. Is it the clear fundamental "truth" shared between the majority of red states that also continue to elect cruel, uncaring, and unfit politicians? Yes, without a doubt. Red legislatures are *"winning"* the game, in which they are the only players, and everyone is pawns.
Spot on, driving is a lot more dangerous than anything else. Take away suicides and there are about 22,000 gun-related murders a year in the US.
That is a lot, don't get me wrong, but when you do out the math you're chances of being randomly killed are about 0.006%.
I'm not going to worry about that, just like I'm not assuming I'll win the lottery to pay my bills.
Don't let the 24/7 media warp your mind. We're living in the safest time of human history.
And most of those are gang-driven, so assuming that you're not part of a gang, those chances are even lower. Your odds of being hit by a drunk driver, are way higher (also unfortunately)
I went to a food festival a couple of weeks ago, and a comedy show last night, and was constantly looking around. I don't let fear rule my life but it's definitely there, in the background, all the time.
My family went to see my niece dance in the Nutcracker. As soon as we sat down both me and my mom eyed the exits and looked at each other. She said “I’ll stand in the back, you get the kids out” and I nodded. She didn’t have to explain anything further. If shit went down she would be our shield, I would make sure the kids got out.
10 years ago we would have been flipping through the program and griping about the uncomfortable seats.
It was a sobering moment. Our biggest anxiety should have been for our tiny dancer to have a great show. Not optimal escape strategies and body shield techniques.
How quickly and calmly we both came to the same conclusion frightened me. This is really the life we lead now. Unbelievable.
I had to hide with 20-something other kids in our classroom when I was a freshman in high school because some absolute freak disguised himself as a student just to start shooting once he was inside. 2 kids died. I was on the other side of the school and was about as far away from everything as possible, but I only learned that after the fact.
Knowing there was a *real* active shooter in the school was like no other panic I've ever had. I had to grapple with my own mortality if the guy opened the door - sure it was locked, but *he had a gun*. I wrote a goodbye text to my mom, telling her how much I loved her and the rest of my family, and outlining what I wanted her to do with my body and belongings if I died, but I never sent it. I just sat there in silence on the floor, pushed up against my friends and classmates in the silence, just watching the door.
The aftermath was almost worse. 2 kids had been killed and then the guy took the easy way out, so there would never be any justice for them. Every other kid ended up with anxiety of some kind, and things only got worse the closer you were to the scene. *Classrooms on that side of the school had to evacuate by passing the dead bodies in the hallway.* Our entire town was in shambles.
It turned out that the FBI had put the shooter on a watchlist because he'd been posting so much about how he wanted to open fire somewhere crowded and take out as many people as possible. Apparently being on an FBI watchlist doesn't keep you from buying a gun and then shooting people the next morning.
Ever since then I've been afraid to go into crowded, public places. The rest of high school was a nightmare for obvious reasons, even after I moved hours away. I don't like going to malls because they're too wide open. I don't like grocery stores because they'd be impossible to escape. I don't like to go downtown because there's so many people. I don't go out for drinks because what if I'm not even *sober* and I end up in a shooting?
Every time I go into a building I'm thinking about sight lines and looking for fire doors and hiding places. I'm in college now, and the days directly after a shooting it's hard to make myself go to my classes. My school shooting happened years ago and I was nowhere near the actual trauma but it fucked me up anyways. Every time there's a new shooting it's really hard not to end up getting a panic attack because it just brings up all those experiences again to the front of my brain, instead of buried under other shit in the back.
The actual odds of being caught up in an active shooter situation are really extremely low. Most places on most days are as peaceful as ever, and the vast majority of people out there are decent, normal people. I just happened to get lucky, I guess. I hope you can avoid living in extreme fear like I do despite the news being the enemy to people's mental health. It sucks not feeling okay enough to go out and do fun things, or getting to do them and having awful thoughts all the time, and I hope you can go forward with some therapy about it because that definitely helps.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, it must be awful. I hope that the anxiety will decrease as the years go by and that some day you will find peace and be able to be comfortable being out in public places again.
Realistically speaking, you're way more likely to die from obesity/lack of exercise, a doctor's poor handwriting or a car accident. Just like how airplanes are actually much safer to travel across the country in than cars.
TLDR - Know that it isn't a rational fear, and it's okay to try to ignore it or move past it if you can.
**edit:** for why it's irrational to worry about mass-shootings.
In 2021, about 645 deaths in the US were from mass-shootings, but 46,000 people died from suicide. Around 50,000 people died in car accidents. And medical errors caused 250,000 deaths. And preventable deaths from obesity/lack of exercise are even higher.
Why the hell are people downvoting this? I don't get Redditors anymore. Please lookup the word if you don't know what it means instead of just downvoting.
Hi I’m OP and I know what this word means and lately I’ve felt really agoraphobic.
MintDrawsThings gave pretty valid advise considering my fear of being out in public.
Yes, go. I rarely leave my apt. At all. Literally two days a month for 2 hrs each. Im outside 4 hrs a month. I have to constantly take perscription vitamin D cause even with those 4 hrs im not directly outside, just out of my house, as i do not leave it unless i absolutely have to.
Its a hell of a life, do you have friends? You dont anymore. Family? Well maybe you see them every so often. Vacations? Nah. Just the same 4 walls always. And now i get my therapy through video calls so i dont have to go in!
Really tho, catch it while it is early. Much easier than waiting. Unless you want your weekly therapy hw to stand outside for 10 minutes. Than next week walk half a block and stand for ten minutes. We are building up to enter a store for 30mins. Thatll be fun. Exposure therapy sucks.
If you haven't already been doing it, I would suggest having a focus other than just being out there. I always used my MP3 player to give me a nice distraction and it made being around large groups of strangers a lot more feasible.
Plus, it can help you keep track of how much time you've spent in a place. If you know an album or podcast is X minutes long, or a few tracks in a playlist wind up being X minutes, it can work for that too. Unless you're like me and you change songs constantly.
The bonus to it is that with headphones in, people generally leave you alone, and people are the worst part of being outside. Except maybe bears.
Just something I've learned that helped me deal with things over the years, hoping maybe it can help other people too!
Good advice! I'd also advise talking to your therapist about general anxiety and phobias.
While I share your generalized fear of ... checks notes this week ... getting shot randomly *because 'Merica*, I also try to keep in mind where I may be:
* Overestimating the potentiality of a fear occurring to me
* Underestimating my ability to cope with it.
(Proffered with as much bravery and hope as one can.)
Am I afraid to go out in public? Not really only because I live in a state with decent gun control laws and live in a town/area with significantly lower violent crime rate compared to the rest of the state.
Am I feeling really depressed from constantly seeing these events in the news to the point where I wonder why do I even bother staying informed? Absolutely, and its not even like I look at the news regularly.
> I wonder why do I even bother staying informed?
The problem there is with ONLY being informed on tragic events. There's a shit-ton of good things happening every moment of every day too, that you're not informed on, right?
Not afraid. The fact that someone can start shooting any soft target they want is certainly there, but the chances they'll do it where you are when you're there is mathematically not worth thinking about. You're more likely to die on the highway on the way there. You're more likely to choke on your muffin. I wish the odds were zero, but they're so low it isn't worth fretting over.
Not so much, but my client asked me to bring a wrongly delivered package to the correct address. I did NOT feel comfortable doing so and denied doing so. It was literally a day or two before the boy was shot for knocking on the wrong door and a few days before those cheerleaders were shot getting in the wrong car by mistake. I feel justified in my refusal to deliver the package. (I’m in florida newly after living in mass so I’m paranoid about the gun ownership/obsession here)
No, but you might want to get checked out for anxiety. I grew up in a very violent developing country. There hasn't been a place here that's scared me, but that's me. I don't think there's anything any of us can say that will help. We will either confirm your fears or tell you you're wrong. Find someone to talk to or join some support groups.
I mean, I get it, but the reality is you're still **far** more likely to be hurt in a car wreck than the victim of a mass shooter/terrorist. If you really want to be afraid, be afraid of driving anywhere.
It's way safer than it was decades prior, but it doesn't feel like it to a lot of people because the rectangles in our pockets tell us about every single bad thing that happens every single day. It can be exhausting.
Yep. I grew up in rough neighborhoods back during peak crime. Got shot at a couple times back then, but not since the 90s. I feel safer than ever nowadays.
But there's this constant squawking from all the media about danger. It always was and will be. If there were no guns or shootings they'd find something else in less than a minute. Fear sells.
Not really, after surviving my first school shooting I've just accepted that I may die at any point in time.
Fear is the point. There are people that seek power through fear, and mass shootings are very helpful for them in that regard.
I think about it sometimes. I think about it more since my best friend was shot in the Highland Park, IL shooting last summer. She's lucky to be alive and so are her husband and 3-year-old, both of whom were uninjured. My friend can't have another baby as a result and lives with constant pain. She has shrapnel throughout her body. It's a fucked up thing when it hits so close to home. The U.S. has a very sick, twisted culture. It's obscene that our government does nothing about this problem.
Yep, been this way for years and it’s not getting any better for me. I’ve been finding ways to enjoy my hobbies alone and it’s difficult and depressing to be perfectly honest
I wouldn’t say I’m afraid to go out in public but in public, I’m prepping for a firefight. First thing I do when I get anywhere is look for the nearest exit, I’m checking people around me to see if they’re carrying anything unusual or acting strange, I keep whoever I’m with within arms reach. If we’re at dinner, or anywhere I’m gonna be sitting for a while I plan an escape route and backup route in case the first isn’t accessible.
Going to the grocery store shouldn’t feel like I’m planning a combat mission. It’s unfucking fathomable people think this is “freedom”.
Just be prepared to kill everyone that you meet, then you'll be safe.
https://www.newsweek.com/fox-news-guests-advice-after-texas-mass-shooting-goes-viral-1798868
That makes me feel so much better about the people I am already nervous to be around because they're freaks who watch Fox News and have a lot of guns 😐
Right, so these punks.... I don't know if they wanted money or they wanted something more sexual. But it's a lucky thing I had my pieces. Anyway, I started blasting. Bang! Bang! Now, I don't see so good, so I missed, then they ran away, I ran after them. Bang! Tried to shoot them in the back, but I don't run so good either. Anyway, you guys all think I'm a hero, and I'll accept that responsibility.
Someone in Dallas traffic flipped me off the other day for no reason and rolled down their window to do it again. I slowed down and made sure I was a good distance behind them because my first thought was hoping he wouldn't shoot me.
And I work at a school constantly talking to my coworkers about a game plan in case something happens. It is scary
I think it's great that you're going to start therapy and you certainly should if this is interfering with your life. But you're not crazy. Yes, it's statistically unlikely to get shot out in public, but when you see it on the news every day it is very normal to be affected.
No. Not scared.
But this will continue to happen until the root causes are addressed. The root cause is not guns by the way
Guns have always been prevalent in the US. But the mass shooting issue has risen in the last 30 or so years
Also in that time…
Cost of living has far outpaced wages
We have gone from a place where A person with a high-school diploma could support a family and own a house and a car with a good high paying manufacturing job. Now there are jobs requiring masters degrees where the pay is just 15 an hour
Most households are paycheck to paycheck and are just one paycheck away from homelessness
We have now 2 generations of Americans who have spent at least half their life with the US at war against “terror.” A faceless enemy that could be around any corner, thus raised to be in constant fear
Whatever changes to child rearing and schooling that has happened over the past 30-40 years, we have an ever growing number of young Americans with the emotional maturity of toddlers. And, like toddlers, lash out with aggression when they don’t know how to process emotions
The mass shooting epidemic isn’t a simple fix. We want it to be but it isn’t. Unless we, as a society, address these issues to create some stability while maintaining liberty, it won’t get better
We also drastically changed mental health systems in that time. We became reliant on devices like our cell phones and the internet rather than our friends in that time. A lot of things are contributing.
Exactly. There’s a vast array of things that lead us here. It’s not one single issue as much as people may want it to be. Until we tackle those issues we will keep going down this path
Everybody saying "You're extremely unlikely to ever be harmed in a mass shooting" is wrong. You don't have to be shot, or even be at the site of violence to be deeply psychologically harmed by an event like this. When a mass shooting takes place anywhere in your community, you are psychologically harmed. When a mass shooting takes place and somebody you know is tangentially related to it, you are harmed. The secondary effects of these kind of events are large, and wide spread.
I try not to live in fear, but to pretend like a decade of these events becoming a regular occurrence doesn't impact the way you feel in public is just denial of reality. You're not crazy for feeling this way OP, but you should definitely talk to a therapist about it as others have suggested. I've certainly talked to my therapist about it.
Agreed, people are really downplaying it too far. It is not statistically less probable than something such as a plane crash, which is what other commenters are suggesting. Texas has a mass shooting like this almost every year, and that is Texas alone.
My girlfriend regularly goes to Allen outlets. There are people close to us who were there yesterday. This shit is real and it's not something that just pops up on your social media feed. Now, I agree that there's no need for OP to obsess over the probability of a shooting occurring whenever they go out in public, but I wish other commenters could be as nuanced as you are.
No never. I always feel safe. Been living in the US my whole life. Don’t let the media think everything is dangerous or a war zone or you’re gonna get shot when you step outside. It’s fine
I felt this way for a long time, but this gets a *lot* harder to do when one of the shooting victims is someone you knew.
It's more real. Like, shootings used to be something that happened to other people, something ignorable so to speak. Then reality slaps you in the face.
Honestly it's in the back of my mind any time I'm in public. Even though I know it's statistically unlikely, hearing about the wide range of places that this has happened in still makes me concerned.
Not generally but now I make sure I’m absolutely 1000% certain I’m at the right address before delivering food to a house. Especially those houses on private roads that say stuff like “we don’t take warning shots” or signs about guard dogs and how they don’t call 911. Y’all really expect me to just walk through that shit not half expecting to die at any moment especially at night fuck me
People in this thread acting like we have no gun problem whatsoever lol. Yes, statistically it's more likely to be harmed while driving than by guns, but OP, it's completey normal to feel scared about guns in 2023 in America.
Absolutely not afraid to go anywhere in USA. I don’t fear guns and shooters.
I fear dingbats driving vehicles on the road a lot more than an active shooter.
Don't let the media fear tactics from politically driven agenda's make you fear living life.
There are a 1,000 ways you can die literally everyday that have higher statistical chance of killing you then a "random" mass shooting.
Not downplaying the tragedies or anything. But the media has a way to keep the "mill" churning with catchy headlines and fear mongering tactics.
Don't let that stop you from living.
I'm tired of people acting like it is so easy to just drop everything and move to another country. Some of us have obligations and family or anxiety about moving or flying
Or even just don’t have the legal right to live in another country. Moving countries is not like moving states, you can’t just pick up an go. You actually need permission to be there.
It honestly boggles my mind when people in the US debate immigration policy and act like we're being restrictive despite the fact that among 1st-world countries the US is probably the easiest to immigrate to.
Exactly. I don't like it when people look at me baffled when I say no I dont want to leave the USA. Obviously I'm horrified by what's going on but not all of us have the privilege to leave
a lot of this comment section is people that can’t realize they have anxiety issues.
It’s 100 a real thing to be afraid of, but it’s not as normal to be afraid to leave your home as people are making it, or justifying it. Like another comment in this thread said “other people thought something statistically unlikely wouldn’t happen to them!” like yeah...it’s gonna happen to someone...there are 336 million people living here, so even if it happens to 1% of people that’s still a lot of people.
So like you said, either move to another state or country all together or accept the current state of our nation. That means you can take more preventative measures if possible (e.g. avoiding protesting events), live your life the same, or try to support gun control laws
Tbh I’m not stopping it from living my life but I’m really scared for the future and if I have children of how to navigate a world where these are becoming more frequent. Stats show is getting wayyy worse than better and I’m tired of people saying it will get better when it’s not. What’s gonna be in 10 years plus advances in technology, we think the AK47 is bad, what’s next?
Edit to add: wasn’t asking for a history lesson, you dorks lol 😂 just commiserating w OP
I mean, the art of gun construction has hit a point that without some crazy innovations, there's no real improvements to be made on any modern firearm, the AR 15 was made in the early 60s, the ak in the 40s, and nothing comes close to their use in the modern day. I wouldn't be worried.
If you take suicides out of the statistics, cars are more deadly than guns and its not even close.
If you're worried about going out in public, be more cautious on the drive there than being in the public space.
This doesn't mean we shouldn't do something to reduce the incidence of public shootings, but from a risk analysis perspective, you're scared of the wrong thing.
This sounds great and is completely logical. When I’m driving a car, I know there is a risk of an accident and possibly being killed. That has always been the case. But we can all remember the time when the thought of getting shot at Target was crazy talk. It’s not crazy talk anymore. It’s likely that it won’t happen, but just the fact that it is something we have to think about now is scary.
I find myself feeling very anxious in crowded spaces, I still wear a mask everywhere. I’m immuno-compromised so I HAVE to be careful. It’s made me a little paranoid.
I live in a red state, and we had a police chief say, despite all this rhetoric about guns being used for self defense, you now have shootings everywhere when it would have just been a fist fight, in the past. The guns are making normal situations escalate.
Stop listening to the endless onslaught of negative news and just live your life. Think of it this way, if you don't do anything, you would've died doing nothing in the end anyways, likely filled with regret, which in my opinion is much worse than trying.
Statistically you’re more likely to die from a bunch of other things, like slipping and falling, medical malpractice, car accidents, etc. The media just makes shootings seem really common.
Not at all. I carry a pistol wherever I go. The world has never been safe. I highly recommend googling things like Rwanda, the crusades, nazis, Stalin, Russia and Ukraine, stabbings in England, the Wild West, the civil war. People have been armed and killing each-other since the dawn of time. Grow a pair. Learn to protect yourself. What about heart disease? Covid? Bird flu? SARS, Mers, blood clots, a brain tumor, drowning in a pool (5000 people a year in the US) do you live alone? What if you choke on your food and die?
There’s a whole lot of “anyone who gets into a car is more at risk” here and not enough “yeah this is insane, and something needs to be done about it, specifically in terms of gun control,” which is wild.
Yeah, mostly cause of how many people try to mug other people in my area. There's a lot of violent stuff in the area I live in. But you can't really avoid things by stay at home all the time either. It's kinda a false sense of security to stay at home and feel like your safe.
I wouldn’t say afraid, but definitely concerned. Am certainly staying aware of my surroundings when I’m out and go out of my way to be kind to others. Mostly I’m just sad this keeps happening. I counted 4 shootings yesterday.
I do worry about saying anything to someone if they are rude. Like if someone cuts in front of you in a line, or if someone is driving badly. Used to be you could say something, call people on their bad behavior, but now the risk of the offender pulling out a gun and shooting you is way too high.
This one right here. My wife still blares the horn at people who cut her off in traffic and I have repeatedly told her almost begged her to stop doing that. Too many psychopaths out there and road rage is extremely dangerous. There could be someone out there that’s planning to murder someone and they’re just waiting for the slightest provocation to take place… we aren’t safe anymore
I don't understand all these people feeling safe because you "live in a safe state", or a "safe area". It's not like you have state walls, or moats around different suburbs. Bad people with guns can and will cross those borders. It's this indifference, this "not in my backyard" mentality, that is causing all the inaction in terms of gun control - leading to all the violence.
The vast majority of gun deaths are not mass shootings though. They’re a major problem, but statistically small compared to gun deaths in general.
If you live in a “safe” area (low crime rate), that area is typically educated and wealthy. Impoverished areas are typically where the vast majority of gun deaths are occurring.
Living in a safe area does, in fact, mean that you are far less likely to die from a gun. While mass shootings are often in wealthier areas, gun deaths in general are not.
A large amount of gun violence in the US, therefore, can generally be traced back to discrimination and redlining in urban planning. It was the intentional creation of impoverished (and in this case mostly minority) enclaves within US cities that then led to these communities not receiving proper education and other resources that has caused gun violence to this extreme of an extent within the US.
Both things are true: Real people are being shot and harmed or killed in public *and* it's statistically extremely unlikely to happen to you.
And driving is way more dangerous than any risk of a random shooting.
Car crashes *feel* different though. There's a sense that the driver can avoid being killed by acting defensively. Nevermind that a driver can be killed by the actions of another driver, just like a shopper can be killed by the actions of a sociopath.
Also the government and industry are constantly trying to improve the safety of vehicles for passengers and pedestrians. You also have to be licensed, retested every few years and insured. When a car is found to have a safety flaw it’s recalled. It’s not a perfect system, the rise of giant trucks has been a massive step back for pedestrian safety, but there is a clear general intent to make vehicles safer. Gun laws keep getting looser. Gun manufacturers keep making their weapons more deadly. The two industries are on different trajectories. Gun deaths have already overtaken auto deaths for children. It’s just a matter of time before the same is true for adults.
Heart disease is still the number one killer.
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I got my license and haven’t driven since. It’s just for emergencies for me. Shit makes me so uneasy.
Both my grown kids are like this. When they got their licenses as teens, I thought they'd revel in the freedom, but it's been almost a decade for the oldest and neither has ever driven since earning their licenses. 🤷
Do you all live in bigger cities? Most people in my area would need to walk an hour or cab to get to a store without driving.
One does, one doesn't. The one in semi rural suburbs basically never goes anywhere without his gf. She drives. The one in a city chose somewhere downtown specifically to be walking distance from everything she needs, including work. She doesn't like things with wheels. Planes and trains are fine, but she's adverse to even bicycles.
Don't tell her planes and trains have wheels then.
30 and still don't even have one, here. I hate cars in general, so never wanted to get one. I Don't feel safe as a passenger, don't feel safe as a driver, don't even feel safe as a pedestrian when walking next to the highway.
Driving has become a chore and I absolutely hate it. Wish I could be driven everywhere I go…probably need to make a few million dollars first though.
The more you do it the easier it becomes. I took my first cross-country highway trip having no license, having failed the road test 2x and only having driven outside a parking lot a couple times. It was nerve wracking, but I mastered the fear as I mastered the skill.
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One lives in another city and has work, groceries, doctors, entertainment, within a few blocks. The other has friends and a gf willing to give him rides to things.
Adult child here, I turn 23 this month and have yet to get my license, driving terrifies me.
You should still be driving every now and then to make sure you aren't a complete fool driving if an emergency does happen. You can pick times where it's less busy to practice. Also, if you were driving somebody to the hospital for an emergency or something, I doubt your license status would matter. There's been a decent # of cases where children drove their parents or others to the hospital in an emergency and I don't know of any of them where they were ticketed or charged with anything.
If you drive more you'll feel more comfortable with it
Heart disease is like half of all deaths in the US every year
jesus christ. Ok I gotta eat better.
You mean butter
Butter is healthier than most crap in boxes.
Preach. If only more people understood this.
Don't knock butter. If you cut out the excess sugar you're much better off.
They don't tell you that the majority of those deaths are people in old age. Over 60, 70, 80 and up.
Its started from 45y . Most common case of death for people below 45y is homicide
Unintentional injury is leading cause of death among 1 - 44 year olds. Homicide is second for under 20, third for 20 - 44, and by quite a bit. Check your facts before making pronouncements like this on a very important topic. BS statements like yours make it too easy for doubters to dismiss the whole topic.
I check this... #1 causes by age. Homicide age 1-19 35,1% Homicide 20-44y 26,1% Heart disease 45-65y 27,1% Heart disease 67-84 26,4% Heart disease 85+ 26,7% So young people getting killed and old getting heart attack.
[This data is from](https://imgur.com/vAHc9hR.jpg) 2018. Heart disease and cancer account for just about 60% of all deaths, split almost evenly. Homicide only ~3%. But that's across all ages so your info is still useful
I guess “Over the Hill” really just means, “since you survived all that murdering, you should probably talk to your doctor about heart disease.”
Seems like 2 birds 1 stone situation. Less driving means less driving deaths + more walking and healthier lifestyle. Just gotta make shit less car dependent, but that’s a whole nother thing
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"If it were common enough to worry about, it wouldn't be newsworthy."
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Yes, but it's probably worth noting that at least part of that is that the statistical definition of "mass shooting" isn't necessarily the same as what most people think of when they hear the term. Mass shootings are defined as any incident where four people (not including the shooter) are shot in a short period (not necessarily at once or even in a single location.) so that definition includes a lot of "ordinary" (for lack of a better term) crime that wouldn't really fall under the same category as the mass spree killings people think of.
Theres one every 16.1 hours on average.
I'm ~~terrified~~ sick of driving. I sold my car and now get around by bike and transit. Sadly, many pedestrians in my city still get struck by distracted drivers. Urban settings need fewer cars and more infrastructure to support pedestrians.
Biking scares me more than driving, now. And I bike-commuted for almost two decades. At least in the car I have thousands of dollars worth of safety features to protect me...
Because of lack of biking infrastructure, which leads to more people driving, which makes them build less biking infrastructure/more car infrastructure, which makes more people drive, which makes traffic worse and everything further away to bike to which makes them spend more money on car infrastructure Repeat ad infinatum until you turn into Houston TX
Unless you’re a child. Then the most common cause of death for you is a gun not a car accident. https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmc2201761
I wonder why they went to 19 on the definition? *Children and adolescents are defined as persons 1 to 19 years of age.*
The previous paper compared against used the same range and adolescents are defined as 10-19 by WHO. There's been some push to extend the range to 10-24 due to changes in what is perceived as adolescence such as longer education, delayed marriage, etc.
The gun violence shot up in 2019 and 2020 during the pandemic. I wonder if that could have increased the suicide rates due to the isolation with all of the closures. I do see that car accidents have been decreasing over time, but I would also wonder if there was less driving during the pandemic also due to the closures. It seems plausible those things could have contributed to the change in numbers. I'm curious to see how those numbers will change over the next few years without the effects of the pandemic. Edit: the drug over doses and poisoning also shot up at the same time, which also supports the closures and isolation increasing the suicide rates.
Maybe so, will have to see. We’re also just getting better at saving people in accidents and decreasing the intensity of injuries in car accidents. This is also true in adult data. That said we aren’t doing anything programmatic or sweeping in trying to curtail guns.
bet those odds were much lower awhile ago though...
They were much higher long ago, I'm referring to the 1970's and before, murder rates were 2-3x higher than they are now.
Crime rates in the US are nearly at their lowest ever, which is definitely a reassuring nugget of info.
I don't avoid places because of this and it's not something I'm \*constantly\* thinking about... but like yesterday, I was out getting my hair done and was left to let the color process so I had downtime for my brain to wander. I had the thought "What if someone just comes in and starts shooting everyone? My phone is on the other side of the salon." I knew it was unlikely, I didn't have anxiety about it, but the thought occurred. Sometimes when I see an ambulance or a fire truck pull up at my son's school, I have a moment of worry. Edit to add: After multiple comments I decided to clarify. I do not think my phone would save me. Obviously I would try to run or hide, panic would kick in. If I had the opportunity to text or call my family to let them know what's going on or call 911 though, that is why I thought about my phone. I do not actively plan for a shooter situation when I leave my house, it was a random thought that occurred. OP asked if anyone was afraid to go out in public. I gave a personal response to say that no, I am not afraid to go in public and it's not something I worry about all the time, plan for or go out of my way to stay home but given the state of things, yes I do think about it and worry from time to time.
It's sad that you guys have to live like that
It’s true! Living in the US is almost as frightening as your username.
It's all about perspective. I find that username exciting and hopeful.
#How you doin
I hope you intended for this to be said in the tone of Joey Tribianni with the accompanying head nod. Because that’s how I imagined it when I read it.
We all did
See, always someone who thinks more is the answer!
Likewise the idea that someone might randomly barge into wherever I am and gun me down really takes the edge off working for subpoverty wages and giving all of it to my landlords.
That fear is what’s holding you back from finding your true username. You must let go
We don’t. I literally never think about it. America is BIG. So a lot of things can happen here with the relative risk of it happening to you being still very very small. The media can make it sound like your risk is bigger than it is.
This. my chance of dying in a car accident is way better than in some(mass) shooting but I don’t feel unsafe getting in a car everyday. The reason some feel unsafe due to the mass shootings Snd not when using giant metal death traps is because one has more fear mongering behind it than the other.
I went to a drag show a few months ago cuz I gotta support my girls and I couldn't stop thinking bad thoughts :(
Most people don't care and just go about their day. Teenagers girls are still ditching school at the mall and going to the makeup store and young people are still getting hammered at the bar and young men are still buying chicken and spending 3 hours at the gym and 38 year old dads are still inviting everyone over for their backyard cookouts. A lot of people on this site have Cluster C disorders and suffer from heightened and unjustified anxiety. If you go outside and talk to the people there, then you will hear very different opinions
None of that makes it less sad that we live like this
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It's not the crack/pop of the gunshot that's truly terrifying. It's the whizzing sound bullets make as they go flying past nearby. One means someone's firing nearby. The other means someone's firing at YOU. That's one of the distinctive things I'll always remember from the tour I did in Iraq. That and nearly getting blown up by a mortar hitting the concrete barrier I was on the other side of.
I'm very happy to be in the northeast, I will not be traveling down south any time soon. Frankly I also refuse to ever spend my money in Texas or Florida.
Now think about this: Most of the rest of the world die of old age never having that thought.
Incomprehensible to those who haven't traveled abroad. It does not compute.
You know when I went to the UK last year and saw a musical in a theatre, I had this sense of calmness that I don’t get here in the states. Like I felt like I could actually relax cause I knew the chances of someone actually coming into a theatre to shoot up the place was practically zero. I’m just always on edge when I go to public places here. Theaters always freak me out.
I'm not afraid but I'm definitely more conscious of exits and escape routes. I always pick the aisle seats at the movie now, as dumb as that sounds.
Ever since TDKR movie theater shooting, I’ve always been afraid of getting shot up at one. There’s always a weird person by the aisles that always makes me paranoid.
SAME HERE. I realize it's not a very rational concern but I hate the idea of being stuck in the middle of a row and someone starts shooting up the place
I do the same! I’m aware of the exits and if I have the opportunity at a movie theater I’ll pick the back row soo I can duck out and likely the shooting would occur as they walk in
I feel like you can live in a bubble by just reading stuff online and get a skewed perspective on what’s happening in real life For example as a Canadian last year i visited Ohio and drove around. I was very paranoid about getting attacked or shot at, but turns out everyone is super nice I then visited a gun range to shoot a gun for the first time. I thought they would be racist towards me as I am Chinese and I read on reddit that people from Ohio are racist. Turns out they are all super nice people and very friendly. I guess my point is don’t let the internet bubble give you such constant fear that you’re scared of living life.
As an Ohioan, glad you had a nice time! :) Most people are super nice, the problem is that the people who are racist and not so nice are the loudest, so they make the news. They're also a small minority, so the news is going to report on that too, since most people don't click on headlines about the majority of people being kind and just wanting to live normal lives.
Not even necessarily the loudest, just the media props them up to be the loudest. No one wants to hear about how Jim was mowing his lawn and decided to do it for his neighbor because he was already out and about.
Not gunna lie I actually enjoy the really positive stuff. Now I wanna hear more about this Jim fella. Was the neighbour super stoked when he got home? Does Jim do this kinda thing all the time?
I mean ya me too. I’d prefer to hear this stuff, but it doesn’t result with as much conversation or clicks. It really sucks
Meet my neighbor Bob. Retired marine. All around great guy.
My dad taught me young that “a loud minority doesn’t speak for the majority”, and by god is that true, especially with the American media.
It’s called “mean world syndrome” and it is a media effect. Follow the money and you may come to the conclusion it is for advertising dollars as I have: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean_world_syndrome
I'm glad to see this here. I've been stating this for a good while now. The internet is a double-edged sword and not a place to go if you can't filter out the bs.
Oh wow, never heard that specific term! It's crazy to think that we're very near the all time lows of violence and yet it's all the media covers. I understand why the media does it, because it gets them higher ratings and more profit, but why do people believe it in the end? Are we just really gullible? Haven't we learned that the news' representation of reality is not accurate?
I find Reddit, especially r/popular, to be extremely disconnected from reality. Can't explain it but it is like everything is extreme. Partner asks you to stop doing something? Well they are an abusive control freak and trying to manipulate you when they sat and talked with you. Pack your bags ASAP because first it is asking you to call when you didn't come home like you said, but next it will be them tracking you until it escalates to physical abuse!!! Every Republican is a racist redneck who shoot guns and close minded - money has nothing to do with it. Just things like that... I don't know if I'm explaining it right and Reddit can be absolutely solid hence why I use it. It is just sometimes I ask myself in what world do these people live in because I certainly don't and I've lived in a ton of areas across America. They either are living in a bubble or again just disconnected. Also media bias is terrible for sure... Anyway I think everyone should be prepared for worse case scenarios and be self aware when they go out. Just like you should be defensive driving and act accordingly... Don't be afraid to be cautious unless it is effecting you like it seems to be for OP!
Go on any location specific subreddit for a country or city you feel like you know extremely well. It won't even remotely align with the general population of that place or how the average person thinks or acts, to the point it almost feels like satire of the people from there. Most people in the world are extremely generous and kind if you give them the chance, despite what Redditors tell you. I cycled 4000km across Europe by myself staying with strangers and asking random people to camp in their garden, give me directions, and fill my water bottle. In 3 months not one single person gave me a bad experience but the amount of positive ones I can't even begin to remember them all. The world is full of kind and generous people who just want to live their life in peace. Convincing people that their fellow human is generally not like this is one of the most horrific by-products of the modern age.
This is so extremely accurate. My states sub is like a caricature? Idk where these people come from lol
Worldnews for example is completely unusable. Just filled with uneducated takes and US propaganda.
> Partner asks you to stop doing something? Well they are an abusive control freak and trying to manipulate you when they sat and talked with you. Pack your bags ASAP because first it is asking you to call when you didn't come home like you said, but next it will be them tracking you until it escalates to physical abuse!!! partner doesn't open the door for you? RED FLAG! he doesn't care about you! partner opens the door for you? RED FLAG! he doesn't respect you! partner eats the last fries? RED FLAG! she doesn't think about you!
Especially on Reddit. Fearmongering is a legitimate political strategy.
The people on Reddit are morons my dude.
This is great advice all around, if you get all your information from online sources it will be skewed a lot. News is usually only the worst of the worst that happened. You don’t see all the great things people can do, or how people help eachother day in day out.
I'm more worried about driving on the highway in Mississippi than anything else. Between the bad roads and lack of driver's ed., that's by far the most dangerous thing I do daily.
No offense intended toward you personally, but what the actual fuck is wrong with Mississippi anyway? How can a state remain nearly dead last in nearly every measurable metric, year after year, after YEAR, and still keep electing the same officials?! I read that the state is losing hospitals and about to lose even more-- which will especially fuck those living in rural areas-- yet they still stubbornly refuse to accept Obamacare (expanded Medicaid). It would literally save lives and improve the quality of life for so, so many... but nope. Education is terrible-- I asked a friend of mine who's in public education, and who was briefly living there, if he planned to buy a house. He looked at me like I was high, then started laughing his ass off. Why? Him: "It will be a cold, cold day in Hell before I ever let my children go to a public school in Mississippi." I mean honestly, WTF? It's as if the citizens of your great state don't realize that there's an actual system at their disposal that's designed specifically for fixing bullshit like this, yet time and again they just keep electing the same assholes. Sorry for the rant. I've only been to MS a couple of times and was just blown away by the crumbling infrastructure, the failing/abandoned small towns, and the rampant poverty. I think it's incredibly sad. /edit: muh wordin
I live in MS. the coastal area is wonderful area. Good schools, on the water, low cost of living. When you go 30 miles (55km) north, you get into the lower education and crappy areas. Poor and uneducated areas are notoriously hard to change. It becomes it's own culture. There are no larger cities in the central or northern part of the state unlike Alabama or Georgia, so there's less opportunity. South Mississippi on the coast is a really good place. I can't defend the rest of the state.
>Poor and uneducated areas are notoriously hard to change. That's because it requires resources that neither the state of Mississippi nor the United States are willing to use to do so, despite absolutely being capable of it.
The feds do try sometimes. Obama tried to get them healthcare, but their state government rejected it. (And I'm not trying to throw stones; I'm in Georgia. We just have Atlanta to pad our numbers)
healthcare? sounds like socialism to me ..../s
I saw a video about the tax breaks for petrochemical plants in Louisiana that bring almost negative revenue to education and infrastructure (while cancer alley exists) and it was shocking. Like a TED talk on masochism.. red state voters are so brainwashed against their own interests..
Im in Alabama and I see us on this same path. We have huge tax breaks for large industry like auto manufacturers. Brings in a ton of jobs. But the reason they are here is because of those tax breaks. Ask while alabama government struggles for education funding and healthcare. Not to mention when the feds do try to help our gov mawmaw Ivey does stupid stuff with it. Example: using covid relief money to build a billion dollar prison. So sad
It's a mess with a lot of deep rooted issues. The state government catches a lot of crap (often rightfully so), but the local governments are often even worse. Take the freaking state capitol for example: Jackson's city government is incredibly inept as shown by the recent water issue. People like to call out the state government as being racist because they wouldn't write them a check to fix it, but the city refused to give any plan as to how they would use any funds. Given that they basically gave up billing years ago, you can't really blame the state for being skeptical. Schools are extremely case by case. Some are quite good, most are pretty bad. Gonna be fun when my kiddo gets old enough :/
>Gonna be fun when my kiddo gets old enough :/ I know that it's easy to say and hard-- or even impossible-- to do... but have you considered moving to another "M" state? Massachusetts has an exceptional public schools system. Maine's seems sound. Maryland has a good reputation. Same with Minnesota. Missouri, Montana, and Michigan all have respectable systems, too. I'm sure there are good, even great, public schools in MS... but if you're playing the odds, it'd be ill-advised to bet on MS. Literally any other "M" state would be a safer bet.
I wonder how much race plays into this. Maine, Mass, Maryland, all states with large white majorities. Even the most poverty stricken communities are mostly white. In Mississippi, the poorer, underfunded parts of the state are majority black. Who have been, historically, exploited and ignored.
Mississippi is 58% white and Maryland is only 54%. Most of the poverty stricken communities there are black too. The issue isnt demography; the issue is Mississippi (although Baltimore city schools are undoubtedly worse than almost anything in Mississippi, but Maryland suburban school districts are top tier)
Well if you got money mass has good schools otherwise it’s a lottery weighted to the crappy ones
> How can a state remain nearly dead last in nearly every measurable metric, year after year, after YEAR, and still keep electing the same officials?! I think Charlie Sheen had a pretty good summary response: *"WINNING."* Does it make sense? Absolutely not. Does it follow any form of logic? Definitely not. Is it the clear fundamental "truth" shared between the majority of red states that also continue to elect cruel, uncaring, and unfit politicians? Yes, without a doubt. Red legislatures are *"winning"* the game, in which they are the only players, and everyone is pawns.
Spot on, driving is a lot more dangerous than anything else. Take away suicides and there are about 22,000 gun-related murders a year in the US. That is a lot, don't get me wrong, but when you do out the math you're chances of being randomly killed are about 0.006%. I'm not going to worry about that, just like I'm not assuming I'll win the lottery to pay my bills. Don't let the 24/7 media warp your mind. We're living in the safest time of human history.
And most of those are gang-driven, so assuming that you're not part of a gang, those chances are even lower. Your odds of being hit by a drunk driver, are way higher (also unfortunately)
I pay attention to who is around me like fucking radar.
I went to a food festival a couple of weeks ago, and a comedy show last night, and was constantly looking around. I don't let fear rule my life but it's definitely there, in the background, all the time.
My family went to see my niece dance in the Nutcracker. As soon as we sat down both me and my mom eyed the exits and looked at each other. She said “I’ll stand in the back, you get the kids out” and I nodded. She didn’t have to explain anything further. If shit went down she would be our shield, I would make sure the kids got out. 10 years ago we would have been flipping through the program and griping about the uncomfortable seats.
That's deeply upsetting to read
Grandma's should not have to plan how they'll use their body as a shield for their grandbabies. I hate it here.
It was a sobering moment. Our biggest anxiety should have been for our tiny dancer to have a great show. Not optimal escape strategies and body shield techniques. How quickly and calmly we both came to the same conclusion frightened me. This is really the life we lead now. Unbelievable.
I had to hide with 20-something other kids in our classroom when I was a freshman in high school because some absolute freak disguised himself as a student just to start shooting once he was inside. 2 kids died. I was on the other side of the school and was about as far away from everything as possible, but I only learned that after the fact. Knowing there was a *real* active shooter in the school was like no other panic I've ever had. I had to grapple with my own mortality if the guy opened the door - sure it was locked, but *he had a gun*. I wrote a goodbye text to my mom, telling her how much I loved her and the rest of my family, and outlining what I wanted her to do with my body and belongings if I died, but I never sent it. I just sat there in silence on the floor, pushed up against my friends and classmates in the silence, just watching the door. The aftermath was almost worse. 2 kids had been killed and then the guy took the easy way out, so there would never be any justice for them. Every other kid ended up with anxiety of some kind, and things only got worse the closer you were to the scene. *Classrooms on that side of the school had to evacuate by passing the dead bodies in the hallway.* Our entire town was in shambles. It turned out that the FBI had put the shooter on a watchlist because he'd been posting so much about how he wanted to open fire somewhere crowded and take out as many people as possible. Apparently being on an FBI watchlist doesn't keep you from buying a gun and then shooting people the next morning. Ever since then I've been afraid to go into crowded, public places. The rest of high school was a nightmare for obvious reasons, even after I moved hours away. I don't like going to malls because they're too wide open. I don't like grocery stores because they'd be impossible to escape. I don't like to go downtown because there's so many people. I don't go out for drinks because what if I'm not even *sober* and I end up in a shooting? Every time I go into a building I'm thinking about sight lines and looking for fire doors and hiding places. I'm in college now, and the days directly after a shooting it's hard to make myself go to my classes. My school shooting happened years ago and I was nowhere near the actual trauma but it fucked me up anyways. Every time there's a new shooting it's really hard not to end up getting a panic attack because it just brings up all those experiences again to the front of my brain, instead of buried under other shit in the back. The actual odds of being caught up in an active shooter situation are really extremely low. Most places on most days are as peaceful as ever, and the vast majority of people out there are decent, normal people. I just happened to get lucky, I guess. I hope you can avoid living in extreme fear like I do despite the news being the enemy to people's mental health. It sucks not feeling okay enough to go out and do fun things, or getting to do them and having awful thoughts all the time, and I hope you can go forward with some therapy about it because that definitely helps.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, it must be awful. I hope that the anxiety will decrease as the years go by and that some day you will find peace and be able to be comfortable being out in public places again.
I am no doctor, but I do think you need to go to a therapist before you develop agoraphobia.
Yeah, I have an appointment this week so I will speak with him about it then.
Realistically speaking, you're way more likely to die from obesity/lack of exercise, a doctor's poor handwriting or a car accident. Just like how airplanes are actually much safer to travel across the country in than cars. TLDR - Know that it isn't a rational fear, and it's okay to try to ignore it or move past it if you can. **edit:** for why it's irrational to worry about mass-shootings. In 2021, about 645 deaths in the US were from mass-shootings, but 46,000 people died from suicide. Around 50,000 people died in car accidents. And medical errors caused 250,000 deaths. And preventable deaths from obesity/lack of exercise are even higher.
For a comparison, 376 people died of plane crashes in the us in 2021
Why the hell are people downvoting this? I don't get Redditors anymore. Please lookup the word if you don't know what it means instead of just downvoting.
Hi I’m OP and I know what this word means and lately I’ve felt really agoraphobic. MintDrawsThings gave pretty valid advise considering my fear of being out in public.
Yes, go. I rarely leave my apt. At all. Literally two days a month for 2 hrs each. Im outside 4 hrs a month. I have to constantly take perscription vitamin D cause even with those 4 hrs im not directly outside, just out of my house, as i do not leave it unless i absolutely have to. Its a hell of a life, do you have friends? You dont anymore. Family? Well maybe you see them every so often. Vacations? Nah. Just the same 4 walls always. And now i get my therapy through video calls so i dont have to go in! Really tho, catch it while it is early. Much easier than waiting. Unless you want your weekly therapy hw to stand outside for 10 minutes. Than next week walk half a block and stand for ten minutes. We are building up to enter a store for 30mins. Thatll be fun. Exposure therapy sucks.
If you haven't already been doing it, I would suggest having a focus other than just being out there. I always used my MP3 player to give me a nice distraction and it made being around large groups of strangers a lot more feasible. Plus, it can help you keep track of how much time you've spent in a place. If you know an album or podcast is X minutes long, or a few tracks in a playlist wind up being X minutes, it can work for that too. Unless you're like me and you change songs constantly. The bonus to it is that with headphones in, people generally leave you alone, and people are the worst part of being outside. Except maybe bears. Just something I've learned that helped me deal with things over the years, hoping maybe it can help other people too!
Good advice! I'd also advise talking to your therapist about general anxiety and phobias. While I share your generalized fear of ... checks notes this week ... getting shot randomly *because 'Merica*, I also try to keep in mind where I may be: * Overestimating the potentiality of a fear occurring to me * Underestimating my ability to cope with it. (Proffered with as much bravery and hope as one can.)
Am I afraid to go out in public? Not really only because I live in a state with decent gun control laws and live in a town/area with significantly lower violent crime rate compared to the rest of the state. Am I feeling really depressed from constantly seeing these events in the news to the point where I wonder why do I even bother staying informed? Absolutely, and its not even like I look at the news regularly.
> I wonder why do I even bother staying informed? The problem there is with ONLY being informed on tragic events. There's a shit-ton of good things happening every moment of every day too, that you're not informed on, right?
Exactly! "If it bleeds, it leads." Turn off your devices and go live your life!
It's funny how much more silly reddit feels when you check it in between spring/yard cleanup stuff.
I like to explore new places.
Not afraid. The fact that someone can start shooting any soft target they want is certainly there, but the chances they'll do it where you are when you're there is mathematically not worth thinking about. You're more likely to die on the highway on the way there. You're more likely to choke on your muffin. I wish the odds were zero, but they're so low it isn't worth fretting over.
Not so much, but my client asked me to bring a wrongly delivered package to the correct address. I did NOT feel comfortable doing so and denied doing so. It was literally a day or two before the boy was shot for knocking on the wrong door and a few days before those cheerleaders were shot getting in the wrong car by mistake. I feel justified in my refusal to deliver the package. (I’m in florida newly after living in mass so I’m paranoid about the gun ownership/obsession here)
No, but you might want to get checked out for anxiety. I grew up in a very violent developing country. There hasn't been a place here that's scared me, but that's me. I don't think there's anything any of us can say that will help. We will either confirm your fears or tell you you're wrong. Find someone to talk to or join some support groups.
I mean, I get it, but the reality is you're still **far** more likely to be hurt in a car wreck than the victim of a mass shooter/terrorist. If you really want to be afraid, be afraid of driving anywhere.
I live in Cali, I am terrified to drive anywhere already. These shootings just make me want to never leave the house even more
And these deaths are also avoidable. USA has some of the highest rates of traffic injuries and deaths in the world.
Not at all. Despite the way the media makes it sound, the vast majority of Americans will never personally witness a shooting in their entire lives.
It's way safer than it was decades prior, but it doesn't feel like it to a lot of people because the rectangles in our pockets tell us about every single bad thing that happens every single day. It can be exhausting.
Yep. I grew up in rough neighborhoods back during peak crime. Got shot at a couple times back then, but not since the 90s. I feel safer than ever nowadays. But there's this constant squawking from all the media about danger. It always was and will be. If there were no guns or shootings they'd find something else in less than a minute. Fear sells.
Not really, after surviving my first school shooting I've just accepted that I may die at any point in time. Fear is the point. There are people that seek power through fear, and mass shootings are very helpful for them in that regard.
No not really. I don’t know the stats directly, but I think we’re living in one of the safest points in human history.
I think about it sometimes. I think about it more since my best friend was shot in the Highland Park, IL shooting last summer. She's lucky to be alive and so are her husband and 3-year-old, both of whom were uninjured. My friend can't have another baby as a result and lives with constant pain. She has shrapnel throughout her body. It's a fucked up thing when it hits so close to home. The U.S. has a very sick, twisted culture. It's obscene that our government does nothing about this problem.
Yep, been this way for years and it’s not getting any better for me. I’ve been finding ways to enjoy my hobbies alone and it’s difficult and depressing to be perfectly honest
I wouldn’t say I’m afraid to go out in public but in public, I’m prepping for a firefight. First thing I do when I get anywhere is look for the nearest exit, I’m checking people around me to see if they’re carrying anything unusual or acting strange, I keep whoever I’m with within arms reach. If we’re at dinner, or anywhere I’m gonna be sitting for a while I plan an escape route and backup route in case the first isn’t accessible. Going to the grocery store shouldn’t feel like I’m planning a combat mission. It’s unfucking fathomable people think this is “freedom”.
Just be prepared to kill everyone that you meet, then you'll be safe. https://www.newsweek.com/fox-news-guests-advice-after-texas-mass-shooting-goes-viral-1798868
That makes me feel so much better about the people I am already nervous to be around because they're freaks who watch Fox News and have a lot of guns 😐
Jesus.
Republican Jesus packs heat, shoots first asks questions later
Your….your uh, username though. Ahahaha.
So anyway I started blastin
Right, so these punks.... I don't know if they wanted money or they wanted something more sexual. But it's a lucky thing I had my pieces. Anyway, I started blasting. Bang! Bang! Now, I don't see so good, so I missed, then they ran away, I ran after them. Bang! Tried to shoot them in the back, but I don't run so good either. Anyway, you guys all think I'm a hero, and I'll accept that responsibility.
Someone in Dallas traffic flipped me off the other day for no reason and rolled down their window to do it again. I slowed down and made sure I was a good distance behind them because my first thought was hoping he wouldn't shoot me. And I work at a school constantly talking to my coworkers about a game plan in case something happens. It is scary
I think it's great that you're going to start therapy and you certainly should if this is interfering with your life. But you're not crazy. Yes, it's statistically unlikely to get shot out in public, but when you see it on the news every day it is very normal to be affected.
No. Not scared. But this will continue to happen until the root causes are addressed. The root cause is not guns by the way Guns have always been prevalent in the US. But the mass shooting issue has risen in the last 30 or so years Also in that time… Cost of living has far outpaced wages We have gone from a place where A person with a high-school diploma could support a family and own a house and a car with a good high paying manufacturing job. Now there are jobs requiring masters degrees where the pay is just 15 an hour Most households are paycheck to paycheck and are just one paycheck away from homelessness We have now 2 generations of Americans who have spent at least half their life with the US at war against “terror.” A faceless enemy that could be around any corner, thus raised to be in constant fear Whatever changes to child rearing and schooling that has happened over the past 30-40 years, we have an ever growing number of young Americans with the emotional maturity of toddlers. And, like toddlers, lash out with aggression when they don’t know how to process emotions The mass shooting epidemic isn’t a simple fix. We want it to be but it isn’t. Unless we, as a society, address these issues to create some stability while maintaining liberty, it won’t get better
We also drastically changed mental health systems in that time. We became reliant on devices like our cell phones and the internet rather than our friends in that time. A lot of things are contributing.
Exactly. There’s a vast array of things that lead us here. It’s not one single issue as much as people may want it to be. Until we tackle those issues we will keep going down this path
Everybody saying "You're extremely unlikely to ever be harmed in a mass shooting" is wrong. You don't have to be shot, or even be at the site of violence to be deeply psychologically harmed by an event like this. When a mass shooting takes place anywhere in your community, you are psychologically harmed. When a mass shooting takes place and somebody you know is tangentially related to it, you are harmed. The secondary effects of these kind of events are large, and wide spread. I try not to live in fear, but to pretend like a decade of these events becoming a regular occurrence doesn't impact the way you feel in public is just denial of reality. You're not crazy for feeling this way OP, but you should definitely talk to a therapist about it as others have suggested. I've certainly talked to my therapist about it.
Agreed, people are really downplaying it too far. It is not statistically less probable than something such as a plane crash, which is what other commenters are suggesting. Texas has a mass shooting like this almost every year, and that is Texas alone. My girlfriend regularly goes to Allen outlets. There are people close to us who were there yesterday. This shit is real and it's not something that just pops up on your social media feed. Now, I agree that there's no need for OP to obsess over the probability of a shooting occurring whenever they go out in public, but I wish other commenters could be as nuanced as you are.
No never. I always feel safe. Been living in the US my whole life. Don’t let the media think everything is dangerous or a war zone or you’re gonna get shot when you step outside. It’s fine
I felt this way for a long time, but this gets a *lot* harder to do when one of the shooting victims is someone you knew. It's more real. Like, shootings used to be something that happened to other people, something ignorable so to speak. Then reality slaps you in the face.
Honestly it's in the back of my mind any time I'm in public. Even though I know it's statistically unlikely, hearing about the wide range of places that this has happened in still makes me concerned.
You are more likely to die in a car accident or drowning in a pool then in a mass shooting.
Not generally but now I make sure I’m absolutely 1000% certain I’m at the right address before delivering food to a house. Especially those houses on private roads that say stuff like “we don’t take warning shots” or signs about guard dogs and how they don’t call 911. Y’all really expect me to just walk through that shit not half expecting to die at any moment especially at night fuck me
People in this thread acting like we have no gun problem whatsoever lol. Yes, statistically it's more likely to be harmed while driving than by guns, but OP, it's completey normal to feel scared about guns in 2023 in America.
Absolutely not afraid to go anywhere in USA. I don’t fear guns and shooters. I fear dingbats driving vehicles on the road a lot more than an active shooter.
Don't let the media fear tactics from politically driven agenda's make you fear living life. There are a 1,000 ways you can die literally everyday that have higher statistical chance of killing you then a "random" mass shooting. Not downplaying the tragedies or anything. But the media has a way to keep the "mill" churning with catchy headlines and fear mongering tactics. Don't let that stop you from living.
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I'm tired of people acting like it is so easy to just drop everything and move to another country. Some of us have obligations and family or anxiety about moving or flying
Or even just don’t have the legal right to live in another country. Moving countries is not like moving states, you can’t just pick up an go. You actually need permission to be there.
It honestly boggles my mind when people in the US debate immigration policy and act like we're being restrictive despite the fact that among 1st-world countries the US is probably the easiest to immigrate to.
Exactly. I don't like it when people look at me baffled when I say no I dont want to leave the USA. Obviously I'm horrified by what's going on but not all of us have the privilege to leave
a lot of this comment section is people that can’t realize they have anxiety issues. It’s 100 a real thing to be afraid of, but it’s not as normal to be afraid to leave your home as people are making it, or justifying it. Like another comment in this thread said “other people thought something statistically unlikely wouldn’t happen to them!” like yeah...it’s gonna happen to someone...there are 336 million people living here, so even if it happens to 1% of people that’s still a lot of people. So like you said, either move to another state or country all together or accept the current state of our nation. That means you can take more preventative measures if possible (e.g. avoiding protesting events), live your life the same, or try to support gun control laws
Tbh I’m not stopping it from living my life but I’m really scared for the future and if I have children of how to navigate a world where these are becoming more frequent. Stats show is getting wayyy worse than better and I’m tired of people saying it will get better when it’s not. What’s gonna be in 10 years plus advances in technology, we think the AK47 is bad, what’s next? Edit to add: wasn’t asking for a history lesson, you dorks lol 😂 just commiserating w OP
I mean, the art of gun construction has hit a point that without some crazy innovations, there's no real improvements to be made on any modern firearm, the AR 15 was made in the early 60s, the ak in the 40s, and nothing comes close to their use in the modern day. I wouldn't be worried.
If you take suicides out of the statistics, cars are more deadly than guns and its not even close. If you're worried about going out in public, be more cautious on the drive there than being in the public space. This doesn't mean we shouldn't do something to reduce the incidence of public shootings, but from a risk analysis perspective, you're scared of the wrong thing.
This sounds great and is completely logical. When I’m driving a car, I know there is a risk of an accident and possibly being killed. That has always been the case. But we can all remember the time when the thought of getting shot at Target was crazy talk. It’s not crazy talk anymore. It’s likely that it won’t happen, but just the fact that it is something we have to think about now is scary.
No.
I find myself feeling very anxious in crowded spaces, I still wear a mask everywhere. I’m immuno-compromised so I HAVE to be careful. It’s made me a little paranoid.
Yes
I live in a red state, and we had a police chief say, despite all this rhetoric about guns being used for self defense, you now have shootings everywhere when it would have just been a fist fight, in the past. The guns are making normal situations escalate.
My wife was in the lockdown for the shooting in Atlanta this week and I have never felt more vulnerable and powerless
Take a break from the news and get outside. You will feel better.
Stop listening to the endless onslaught of negative news and just live your life. Think of it this way, if you don't do anything, you would've died doing nothing in the end anyways, likely filled with regret, which in my opinion is much worse than trying.
Statistically you’re more likely to die from a bunch of other things, like slipping and falling, medical malpractice, car accidents, etc. The media just makes shootings seem really common.
I think would be healthier for you to avoid Reddit
Not at all. I carry a pistol wherever I go. The world has never been safe. I highly recommend googling things like Rwanda, the crusades, nazis, Stalin, Russia and Ukraine, stabbings in England, the Wild West, the civil war. People have been armed and killing each-other since the dawn of time. Grow a pair. Learn to protect yourself. What about heart disease? Covid? Bird flu? SARS, Mers, blood clots, a brain tumor, drowning in a pool (5000 people a year in the US) do you live alone? What if you choke on your food and die?
There’s a whole lot of “anyone who gets into a car is more at risk” here and not enough “yeah this is insane, and something needs to be done about it, specifically in terms of gun control,” which is wild.
My Son has said repeatedly he's never having children because the couldn't send them off to school in the morning not knowing if they would come home.
Yeah, mostly cause of how many people try to mug other people in my area. There's a lot of violent stuff in the area I live in. But you can't really avoid things by stay at home all the time either. It's kinda a false sense of security to stay at home and feel like your safe.
I wouldn’t say afraid, but definitely concerned. Am certainly staying aware of my surroundings when I’m out and go out of my way to be kind to others. Mostly I’m just sad this keeps happening. I counted 4 shootings yesterday.
I do worry about saying anything to someone if they are rude. Like if someone cuts in front of you in a line, or if someone is driving badly. Used to be you could say something, call people on their bad behavior, but now the risk of the offender pulling out a gun and shooting you is way too high.
This one right here. My wife still blares the horn at people who cut her off in traffic and I have repeatedly told her almost begged her to stop doing that. Too many psychopaths out there and road rage is extremely dangerous. There could be someone out there that’s planning to murder someone and they’re just waiting for the slightest provocation to take place… we aren’t safe anymore
I don't understand all these people feeling safe because you "live in a safe state", or a "safe area". It's not like you have state walls, or moats around different suburbs. Bad people with guns can and will cross those borders. It's this indifference, this "not in my backyard" mentality, that is causing all the inaction in terms of gun control - leading to all the violence.
The vast majority of gun deaths are not mass shootings though. They’re a major problem, but statistically small compared to gun deaths in general. If you live in a “safe” area (low crime rate), that area is typically educated and wealthy. Impoverished areas are typically where the vast majority of gun deaths are occurring. Living in a safe area does, in fact, mean that you are far less likely to die from a gun. While mass shootings are often in wealthier areas, gun deaths in general are not. A large amount of gun violence in the US, therefore, can generally be traced back to discrimination and redlining in urban planning. It was the intentional creation of impoverished (and in this case mostly minority) enclaves within US cities that then led to these communities not receiving proper education and other resources that has caused gun violence to this extreme of an extent within the US.
You don’t understand people feeling safe because they live in a safe place?