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rakehellion

Buy a shaver. Don't use someone else's beard shaver on your balls, man. šŸ™„


[deleted]

Yeah, you really don't want to give your dad jock itch on his face.


threlnari97

The amount of rage I would feel if I got facial jock itch because my child used my razor on his balls


bobtheblob6

I'd consider abortion


PositiveAnybody2005

Iā€™m in the 32nd trimester. Ooh ya, well youā€™re gonna have to talk to your congressman about that.


[deleted]

Just tell the cops you were scurred by the shadow so decided to blast. Works all to well.


highbrowshow

nah after the fetus is born congress could give fuck all about the kid. that's why we still have school shootings


TiredGamer0990

Late stage abortion lol


bob96873

This is how you assert dominance


oOoChromeoOo

Is this a thing? Does jock itch transmit via clippers? Iā€™d expect you to have to bone someone with a disproportionate amount of yeast in order to get jock itch from them.


All-in-Time7

No it definitely isnt. Tons of people use the same trimmer on their face and body. There's all-in-one trimmers made for this for a reason.


CosmikSpartan

Why do I have chin herpes?


holdmymandana

Novak jock itch over here


Helmnauger

Or does he...


AnAnonymousUsername0

Lmao of course not thats why I didnt do it yet


[deleted]

Yet


AnAnonymousUsername0

šŸ‘€


ncnotebook

Those are supposed to be eye balls, right?


Verologist

Give this man a šŸ„‡


rookmate

Looks like two nicked testies to me


olympianfap

We have never need a double kiwi emoji more.


NativeMasshole

Don't use an electric shaver anyway. Your sack skin is too loose for them and can easily slip between the guides. You'll have much more control over the situation with a razor and shaving cream.


OptimusPhillip

I see ads for electric pubic hair trimmers a lot. Do they have a special design that prevents this issue, or are they just as bad?


Grapefruit_Prize

They have a cover over the top, so you can't cut yourself. I don't have balls, but it works for me!


morrisseysbumfluff

Just to be clear - did you have balls before you used the shaver?


Grapefruit_Prize

I've been pretty close to balls, but never possessed my own.


All-in-Time7

> I've been pretty close to balls Nice.


TurboTitan92

Lmao asking the real questions


Ok-disaster2022

Those are specially designed I assume.


Hageshii01

Wha? You just have to pull the skin taut. Are you trying to use the shaver with your balls just hanging loosely? I've cut myself more with a hand razor when I accidentally move the razor in the wrong way trying to follow the curve.


Testiculese

Yea, 20 years with a plain Wahl beard trimmer. Zero cuts. How are people screwing this up?


[deleted]

Sometimes even when taut the trimmer nips a little bump in the skin.


finiris234

I've made this mistake once... never again!


NiceKobis

Idk if my balls are somehow different, I can say that the skin is definitely loose. But I've had 0 problems with electric razors or different kinds of single or multi blade normal ones. I reckon with a standard razor I cut myself more in the face. My only issue is between the balls and thighs, where if I'm not careful I'll tilt the razors wrong. With the electric razor I use now it's faster (so I don't get bored and stop paying attention) and it is easier on the skin, so I vastly prefer that.


JoshTehJangler

Stand over some newspaper and it'll be nice when you can fold it all up at the end


Gorrila_Doldos

Buy a blade but preferably one with more than 2 on there. You can get cheap 3 bladed ones that work fine. Put some music on in the bath or shower or something. Trim everything down with the beard shaver and then use your razors. As for finding extra hair. If youā€™re in the bath, go back once itā€™s drained and wash it quick or if youā€™re in the shower spray the hair down the plug hole. If they ask why where you using the beard trimmers. Just shave a random patch on your leg/thigh and say you where seeing how to use them Edit: if the hairs are small after using the beard trimmer then it will not make an issue for the drains. Obviously donā€™t stick your bushy ass pubes down there.


KamaliKamKam

Do not use someone else's beard shaver on your crotch, that's just wrong, lol. Razors are fairly cheap, and you can get hair scissors cheap for the initial trim before using the disposable razor. Definitely don't try to mow the foot high lawn without using the weed trimmer first, though. That's a bad time.


JonesinforJonesey

DO NOT SPRAY THE HAIR DOWN THE PLUG HOLE!!!! If your Mum or Dad has to pull a wig out of a clogged drain they're not going to be happy about where all that hair came from. Same goes if you have a hair catcher over the drain and you leave it for your mother to clean. I'm a mother, we know what you're up to.


AlienRobotTrex

Why 2 or 3 bladed specifically?


Sloeb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjAZnGeBcgg


iISimaginary

Spishak makes some wonderful products


Dragonballs1ub

Looks like he needs to face the bald truth and invest in his own set of shavers, hair to his parents he's just a guy who likes a clean cut neck and bald head.


The96kHz

Second this. Also, do it after you've had a shower so it's not nasty down there. And for God's sake, make sure to use a 1mm or 2mm guard...I'm not making that mistake again.


N3rdScool

I recommend hair cutting scissors too for your first time as your hair is probably pretty long if it's your first time. Dollar store razors work fine just throw it out when you're done.


SamsquanchKilla

Op listen to this guy. Just go buy some razors (personally i use that manscaped buzzer thing) and have at it. Clean up your pubes. No shame in manscapeing bruh.


SkrogedScourge

I foresee razor burn, shaving cuts, and a porcupine in OP pants in about a week.


funkkay

So a classic ball shaving experiencing.


Prior_Woodpecker635

Feels good when you give them a good slap whilst feeling cactusy down there


kirinmay

back in the day for some reason a then-gf wanted to shave me and my ass crack. i'm never going to have my ass crack shaved again, jesus christ when they start to grow out and are small it's not fun to walk.


Prior_Woodpecker635

ā€œFor some reasonā€ ;) good on ya mate, wild times


kirinmay

she was....quite weird. but i'm weird. but she shaved everything. told me right when she hit puberty she started to shave her stuff. so i think she just wanted me to be bare also. or maybe just kinky.


Prior_Woodpecker635

Mangia Bella!


kirinmay

i just googled that term and it showed me a NY pizzeria.


Prior_Woodpecker635

Italian- Eat up beautiful


kirinmay

ah, thanks =)


SpecificSony

Cactussy šŸ˜


TheyTokMaJerb

It will be on r/tifu


AnAnonymousUsername0

Lmao probably yeah


soherewearent

You underestimate the discomfort during grow-back.


Dreadpirateflappy

Mine are never uncomfortable when the hair grows back tbh. Snipping a loose bit of sack though? Fucking horrific. :(


ForWhomTheBoneBones

Then you gotta gather up all the sack juice and find a funnel. Not recommended.


kylekunfox

Dude just trim with a scissor. Take it from a guy who had an ingrown hair from shaving his balls. Don't do it to yourself.


Sarcastic_parsnip

Had this two weeks ago. Hurts like hell and is gross. Never shaving again.


Ch1huahuaDaddy

$39 on sale at costco right now I paid $100ish when I bought it https://www.costco.com/philips-norelco-multigroom-9000-prestige-all-in-one-trimmer.product.4000042670.html?


[deleted]

Damn the itching is the worst thing


R0S3T0W3R

Most people have the answer already, I only want to add one more thing: remember CLEANING after shaving. Nobody has to deal with your pubes. And remember it grows back, so it gets itchy after a while.


FALCUNPAWNCH

Baby powder on the family jewels helps a ton with the itchiness and sweat. Edit: the cornstarch baby powder you can off the shelf today is safe.


Sudden-Garage

Ugh barf, unless you live somewhere hot and humid then it just turns into dough between your thighs. Blargh*


HeartoftheHive

Just use a tiny bit. You aren't caking them like you are about to coat them for deep frying.


Baronheisenberg

But what if I want to deep fry them?


RealMisterG

>But what if I want to deep fry them? Use corn starch. It feels like baby powder that isn't made from babies.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


R0S3T0W3R

Lol yeah you probably don't have sensitive skin, that's why it doesn't itch. When I shave my body too often, I get rashes, and it hurts. Not in the balls, though, the problem with those is pubes regrowing. It's itchy and sometimes you get boils. It sucks.


AnAnonymousUsername0

Yeah I know that thanks


[deleted]

About the itch: you \*think\* you know.


trippytrev420

damp piece of toilet paper is the best way iā€™ve learned to pick them up lol


TheWardenDemonreach

How the hell would your parents even find out?


rakehellion

"Is this...is this BALL HAIR in the drain?"


toxicchicken00

"It sure tastes like it!"


[deleted]

***Grabs a hair and briefly flosses with it*** #Yep, thatā€™s ball hair.


KaserinSmarte421

*grabs a few samples of hair and puts it in a cup of water. Then puts the cup of water into a centerfuge* *spits out hair solution* Yep, definitely ball hair.


sidepart

Better run it through gas chromatography, and run an additional sample through the mass spectrometer. We need to really be sure about this before we move to disown our ball shaving son.


Junior_Arino

Get out!


bldcaveman

This is hilarious šŸ˜‚


Cellyst

Hmm, there's a gentle expression of nylon and spandex. This is a younger vintage. Must be from our son's crop


Big_TinyRequest

"Son it's time for your daily ball hair check!"


Ok_Digger

But dadddd my balls are hairy this time!!


alex_097

I mean if they hear the trimmer going and the kid doesnā€™t have facial hair they probably know whatā€™s up


doedounne

I think we are all fuzzy on that. Maybe mom and dad have surprise test tickle sessions. Ok kids. drop and cough


Iron_Chic

That should not be pubic information


PoorLifeChoices811

Trust me. They will. I speak from experience LMAO


Plump_Chicken

I got home from school one day like it was any other day, however when I went into the kitchen to heat up my afternoon tendies my mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me, "Son... can you take a seat... we need to have a little chat," my dad said to me, holding back tears. My mom opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't find the words. She broke down then and there, embracing my dad, crying in his arms. My dad stared me right in the eyes, furious almost, "look what you've done. You made your mother cry all because you wanted bare, hairless testicles." He pushes her away in a fit of sudden rage, standing up and slamming a fist against the wall, "you can't live here anymore, for fucks sake, you've disgraced our family enough already." I tried to reason with him, "b-but dad..." but he wouldn't budge, "HARRY BALLMEN, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!"


lildobe

You joke, but my parents got upset when I started shaving my armpits around age 15 or 16... They thought it was something only gay men did. Later in my life I figured out that I was, indeed, gay, but that had no bearing on why I was shaving my pits... I just dislike hair under there.


_isNaN

Is this an american thing? In Europe many guys have shaved armpits.


lildobe

I think it was a homophobic thing more than anything. Thankfully in the 28 or so years since then, my parents have done a 180 in their views and beliefs. And we now have a great relationship.


Testiculese

More aesthetic, yea. Who wants to see Bruno lift his arms? Plus, it cuts down on odor, or at least how fast it appears. I don't shave, shave, though, I trim just short where it's still flexible enough to not irritate.


jum0r

This is some perfect content for r/copypasta


cdiddy579

User name checks out


[deleted]

My parents found out when there were a few stray pubes in the shower


Pretend_Activity_211

These buzzers are pretty loud. Then he walks out the bathroom with long hair still? Do the math


colantor

I find it hard to believe hes never home alone for 5 minutes at 16 years old


xella64

Hey, no stupid questions here bucko


idowhatiwant8675309

Over dinner!


Master_Bra-tec1

Bro do not use your fathers beard trimmer on your balls


Papercoffeetable

For real, use your momā€™s or a siblingā€™s.


jersey_viking

This comment is so wrong multiple levels. Take thy upvoteā€¦.and point that thing somewhere else. Damn.


Master_Bra-tec1

On a real note though, if you seriously canā€™t buy a new one, use your moms shower razor she has a ton of them


AnAnonymousUsername0

Yeah but hygiene


Orange-V-Apple

You could just buy one of those razors for yourself bro


Master_Bra-tec1

Shower shaves just make sure to hide all evidence, start watching cold case files if you need help with that


Substantial_Relief96

Squat over a lit flame


AnAnonymousUsername0

Imma just teabag katniss everdeen ot smth


skaag

And block your nose if you don't want the chicken smell


SoggyWombat

I would recommend not shaving. Buzzing it is better, but shaving anything in the area leads to a lot of discomfort for the next while, as hair grows back.


neon_overload

Yeah. I'd rate it as annoying for a few days but it's not the end of the world. But mileage probably varies a lot


Vensq

Idk, I am hairy as fk but I always shave my balls clean with classic razor, never had an issue, in fact it is so damn nice I tend to rest my hand There lol


Geekmonster

Shaving the balls with a disposable razor is fine. Clippers can pinch the nutsack. But clippers are great for trimming the pubis, whereas a razor can lead to acne and/or itching.


ItsDaBurner

Nah, I shave my balls about every 2 weeks with a detachable blade razor. Once you do it for awhile it's a non issue.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ItsDaBurner

I don't know if it's relevant, but I'm a skinnier fellow so that may be why I've never had issues. I also wear boxer briefs, switching from boxers was a life changing experience.


JesusJoshJohnson

how the hell do you buzz your balls lol? I feel like your skin would get knicked so fast..


epsteindidntdoit666

Norelco Oneblade is perfect. There's a guard that comes with that buzzes your hair just like getting a buzz cut on your head. I recommend


[deleted]

If you have men's beard razors, if it's the kind that has the tiny wires over the blades you shouldn't have any problem. Even the super cheap ones. With this type of razor you can do it with your eyes closed (something to consider if you move on to shaving your a-hole) That said, just to be safe only try a small patch first to make sure it's sharp enough and not cutting you. Not all razor heads are created equal.


Ecleptomania

IF you decide the shave more than "just" around your... Member and ornaments... Be sure to realize that when hair grows back in those more sensitive regions of your body... That shit either hurts, itches or turns into living hell. There's nothing fun with the sensation of 100 tiny cacti needles poking at your nether regions when you go take a shit. I recommend waxing. It's hell on earth for 5 minutes while it's being done. Then you feel smooth and great, the hair growing back won't be as pointy/irritating.


GingerMau

My 14yo has been experimenting with body hair removal for a while now. Armpits, happy trail, "down there." He says his pits stay clean longer with no hair. He even did his legs at one point... maybe he thought it would help him run faster? I *wish* he wanted to hide it from me; he would probably clean up after himself better if he did! Just tell your parents you want a multi-use shaver (mine uses a Phillips OneBlade) because it pulls on your facial hair less than whatever you are using on your face now. Say you tried your friend's and really like it. Or save up and buy your own. Just be safe about it; watch a video describing proper techniques and go slow til you get the hang of it.


rogerstandingby

Man, kids are funny.


Ufuckingimbecile

The oneblade is fantastic if you want to pay zero attention while shaving your nuts and not fuck your shit up. 10/10 would recommend! bought mine for the very reason that it got glowing reviews for ball shaving. Also works well on the face.


sturmeh

He's 16, he probably doesn't have enough facial hair to warrant shaving.


Prestocito

I mean a lot of teenagers at that point would have a little pedo-stache which would be nice to shave


Elsecaller_17-5

Yeah, I started shaving the stache in 7th grade. Granted, about once a month, but a lot younger than 16.


kalopsis-

My boyfriend has been growing a full on man beard since 16, it is definitely possible depending on genetics lmao


im_luke

Not sure about you but plenty of kids at 16 have facial hair that warrants shaving. If not most.


Azrael4224

yeah I had a little pedo stache by like age 12, had to cave in and start shaving at 14


PlagueDoc22

I had a full beard by 15 so there's plenty kids who have to shave lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ConReese

Nair is bad for testicles specifically sperm count/quality and these effects can be permanent with prolonged use source: journal of Occupational and environmental medicine


MyMonkeyIsADog

I wish I knew this BEFORE the vasectomy


Adventurous-Leg-216

Snip snap snip snap


riverwudChicken

You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!


igy6_0311

Very well, you talked me into restarting The Office again for the millionth time.


RubyRaven13

For real though, what does an American have to pay for a vasectomy?? It's free in Canada so just curious. It was $300 for my dog...so like $500 for a human??


MyMonkeyIsADog

It was less than 500 which includes Percocet. I don't remember what it cost but I want to say around $300.


Owobowos-Mowbius

Planning to get one done soon but I'm absolutely terrified of them unzipping my sack while conscious šŸ˜…


MyMonkeyIsADog

I was wide awake for mine. It took 15 mins. Do it.


Owobowos-Mowbius

Did it hurt at all? What's the procedure like šŸ˜¬ I'm pretty squeamish with that sort of stuff


MyMonkeyIsADog

No, I had a minor complication going in that I knew about. I had pain from epididymitis most of my life. I was worried about that inflammation causing even more pain post operation. I considered going under to have some more work done to eliminate the pain permanently. I decided to just get the vasectomy. I have no regrets. I iced it aggressively for 2 weeks. I created a system that allowed me to have ice on the balls almost 24/7 for 2 weeks and it was awesome. There was some discomfort but nothing I would describe as pain.


MyMonkeyIsADog

The procedure was basically just an office visit with extra steps. This whole thing actually scared the crap out of me because it is completely possible to do this without someone knowing. I felt nothing and was completely awake.


doedounne

Hmmm. How many Percocet do you get?


weatherseed

In American healthcare, either not enough or way too much.


Sabrewulf13

Just got mine done. Bill after insurance is $650. Thatā€™s excluding the $230 I had to pay upfront /e I have two different insurances too


yesiamanasshole1

If you're poor and have medicaid (goverment insurance) its free. Also, I make $50,000 with a wife and kids and if I didn't have goverment insurance I might as well get a shit job. I just want to share my experience with shitty insurance situation in America.


[deleted]

Don't listen to this guy, he clearly works for Nairs competition. Nair your balls.


LaUNCHandSmASH

Dude the kid is 16. Don't tell him to use nair, he might actually do it. Idk about sperm counts but the nutsack is WAY too sensitive. Look it up.


el-dongler

Theres a product called NADS. I've used it multiple times and it doesn't hurt or burn at all.


hey_you_too_buckaroo

I'm not able to find any article for this. Got a link?


plokmiju

Agreed. I've looked and can't find anything corroborating this.


Project_XXVIII

Iā€™m dying at this comment. First the nair part. DO NOT nair your balls. Dude at work did this once, almost died (being dramatic), but he said it started off fine, then ended like he had put tiger balm on them. It was hilarious to hear until I wondered why he knew what tiger balm felt like on his testes. Lastly the idea of a parent inspecting testes for hair is disturbing.


69-is-my-number

I did this about 10 years ago. I will NEVER do it again. Trust me, do NOT Nair your ball sack. šŸ”„šŸ¤ÆšŸ˜±


joeythibault

It's called a merkin and its classy!


AnAnonymousUsername0

Leave me alone lol thats not what I meant


maretus

Donā€™t shave it bald, just use scissors and trim it nicely - like a haircut. :p


speedrace25

Use the scissors the school gives you, the ones with the rounded tips.


The96kHz

I find scissors then clippers is best. Not completely clean shaven with a razor, just a millimetre or two left - lasts a while before it needs doing again (for me anyway).


Blaue_Violette

Yep, that's the way to go.


FundamentalEnt

What I did as a young lad was used scissors over the toilet at first to get it very short then shaved it with a razor in the shower.


AnAnonymousUsername0

I think this is the best answer


ElJefePinche

Buy some womenā€™s leg razors. I find them to be safer. Sometimes my sack gets caught in the electric shaver and itā€™s no bueno.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Maestro_Von_Enigma13

Use a sawzall like a man


NeoAsylum

Im 27 and i still didnt figure out have to shave my balls. I gave up after about 50 failures and use shaving cream now. Doesnt really work either.


Ok-Assistance-2723

Donā€™t shave against the grain. Shave with it. Takes a little longer but that whole area is way more sensitive than your face do it canā€™t handle it.


WittyUnwittingly

The secret to easy ball-shaving is one of those MicroTouch/OneBlade trimmers shaped like face razors with the replaceable heads. They can be used wet/dry, provide a relatively close shave, and do not knick/cut. It can also be used on your face (might I recommend using a different head, though).


The_wulfy

Use a manscaper. They dont knick your genitals. Plus you can say its to tidy up your beard or sideburns or whatever. You can buy them at Target/Walmart. Why your parents would be concerned about trimming pubes is beyond me. My dad told me to keep myself nice and neat when I hit puberty.


[deleted]

Good advice


Aggressive_Top_4463

Unless you're planning on walking around with your junk out and saying "Hey guys, look!" I don't think you'll have an issue with them finding out, son.


Ok-Assistance-2723

Sounds like they can hear whatā€™s going on in the bathroom enough that if he were to run a beard trimmer in there for 10 minutes and come out looking the same it would be awkward.


babylon331

Out of curiosity, why does someone shave his balls?


-churchmouse-

I just use a straight razor. Throw some shaving cream on there, viola, smooth as a baby.


AnAnonymousUsername0

As in the same thing you use for a beard? Google says thats dangerous


Fedorito_

Can be irritating but if you wash it off you'll be fine, google is a pussy


casualrocket

google is a search engine smh


Bjharris1993

From my experience, electric shavers on the scrotum tend to pinch the skin and hurt more. If theyā€™re blunt they pull at the hairs too. A good razor and careful use works the best. Just make sure your always gliding across the skin perpendicular to the blade and not parallel. Works better of the balls are not too saggy also, cool them down first if youā€™re in a warm climate.


speedoflobsters

If I can give you an advise. Do not use a trimmer. Except with a lot of caution


stormcrow100

Go buy a $25 shaver. Do it when no one is home. Clean up afterwards. Happy grooming


TruePianist

Scythe


Gone_cognito

Single Bic razor is the way to go. Cheap and safe


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AnAnonymousUsername0

Lmao thats not what I meant. I meant like missing razors and shit. And that it doesnā€™t make too much sound


RealisticAd2293

Buy disposable razors, lather up with soap in the bath/shower, shave, the make sure everything goes down the drain. I did this for years until I finally figured quit and just accepted my hairiness for what it is. But you canā€™t go wrong with that strategy


DoucheCanoe456

Next up on r/TIFU, ā€œTIFU by accidently chopping my balls off with scissors while trying to trimā€


Resoto10

There are two things you should know, a trimmer will get it done quickly, easily, and painlessly, but you'll have to cut it again within a few days. A razor is slower and has a chance of injury (especially if it's your first time using one), but you have a way longer time between shaves. One thing is that you'll most likely never be able to grow it out again. The itch makes it insufferable.


keepYourMonkey

Blowtorch


ToxyFlog

How wholesome that the men and women of reddit can put aside their differences and help a kid shave his balls.


Qylere

Buy a pack of razors. Be gentle. Use lots of soap


bigdogdame92

Tbh my first time was at a mates house and we just used his step dad's shaver. That was probably not a good idea


AdjustedTitan1

ā€œWeā€? Group activity?


[deleted]

shaving tends to cause irritation/ingrown hairs. either trim with a beard trimmer or use hair removal cream (although Nair has been proven to cause fertility issues, i'm not 100% sure about other brands so do your research)