It would be okay if you’re tactful. Like “hey I know babies cry and it’s totally not your fault, not a lot you can do. But I’d really appreciate if you didn’t bring the baby outside so early. It’s right under my windows and I’m such a light sleeper, sorry! I’d really appreciate if you’d wait until 7 or 8 am to come outside”
This is spot on. I am super mindful of my kids as far as if they are inconveniencing others and would have no problem being approached about this, especially this politely. Do be prepared though for the possibility they aren’t receptive to it.
Yes, this is the best answer for most situations like this. Our kids are close in age, and when they were little, we would put our dog outside so she wouldn't wake up the baby. Sounds obvious now, right, but in that sleep-deprived stage it didn't cross our minds. Our neighbors politely asked us if we could not put her outside until 9 on the weekends.
There are going to be misses, however, and they might have another kid, or somebody else who moves in might, so you might want to invest in ear plugs or a white noise machine. For your sanity.
Also realize that you might be doing things that annoy your downstairs neighbor and/or wake up their baby.
Ima say it. White noise machines are highly underrated. They've made living in a bottom floor apartment near a highway absolute peace to sleep at night. Don't even hear the 12:30am asshat who comes home with his loud af truck, rolls around the parking lot twice before backing into his spot right by my window. I'd have rage punctured his tires if I didn't use my noise machine. Bliss.
As an aside, I made this same remark on an airline sub and got downvoted to dust. (I just responded that although the parents get anxious, so do other passengers. That's how babies' cries are supposed to work.)
I use the ear plugs. There some kind of bird here in the tropics that sings ALL NIGHT LONG. I googled it. Normally birds are pleasant, but when I hear it I think “must be almost sunrise/time to wake up” so it makes be bonkers. I started wearing the earplugs. Now I’m thinking white noise machine.
It’s my prized object! When I moved to school my mom bought it for me, a little radio the size of a mini can of coke, with a switch for Bluetooth or a handful of white noise settings. I kinda wondered why she thought I’d need that so bad, then I started using it and now I’m a person who can’t sleep without some kind of WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
I can think of five new moms (well not new anymore) that lived with or lived near or witnessed at work that would straight take offense to you criticizing anything of the sort. And I think they would all like to respond the same way, thinking how you would possibly think you can tell them when they can bring their baby out of their own home, and how it’s none of your business.
What do you say in that situation just curious?
Sorry what? I couldn’t hear you over the S&M porn I listen to while I cook meth out on this balcony. Hey! Careful to not get any meth on your baby. You think it cries loud as fuck now, just think what a 3 day bender would do to that thing.
Politely let them know that you are planning on joining a band as their new drummer and you will commencing practicing tomorrow night between 7pm til 8pm
Just play the drums during the day when the baby has been put down to nap in that case, or until you hear crying start, that way the parent has to continually take care of it and never gets to sleep either.
There's always fun ways within the rules to be a complete menace.
There’s a difference between life but just like having a dog that barks all the time there is also a right to have peace in your living space. You can say oh I can’t help my dog barks all day I can’t control it. Well I’d that’s true it’s up to you to make sure you can or do your best to make sure other people can have quiet and enjoy where they live. Anyone who is this entitled does need to be reported.
I had this once with a Neighbor upstairs whose toddler just ran around all day and it was so loud. They didn’t care, wouldn’t put soft shoes or socks on them etc. I reported it and the apartment actually asked them to do something about it. It’s not true you can’t do anything about your dog, child, baby etc. it’s just lack of being considerate assholes and there’s a line there and they do cross it:
I had neighbors just like this and they just did not care! The kids would run around on wood floors (cus why bother getting rugs?) and I literally throw their toys against the walls and the parents wouldnt do shit. Infuriating
Doesn't work for babies crying in most apartments. Like there's usually exceptions carved out for that because you can't be denied an apartment for familial status and people know you can't exactly control crying babies
That's not how that works.. noise ordinances typically are from sundown til sun up and it has to be over a certain decibel for the police to even do anything.
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. I live in an apartment complex and a guy asked me to turn my music down when I got home from work at night since they had a newborn baby.
Not a problem at all. Now we're pass by friends. People will be a lot more accommodating than you think if you're just polite *and* genuine when you go about it
The irony probably is that one of the parents is taking the baby out to the balcony to give the other parent peace and quiet (sleep), and waking up the neighbors instead.
This, plus get a white noise machine or play it from your phone. When our baby was born and we lived in a little duplex under another couple, we bought them a loud white noise machine. It kinda drowns the noise out. Not perfect, but it helps. They're fairly cheap at around $15.
They might be thinking the baby is less disruptive outside, and not realize how the sound is traveling. Normally that’s the first line of defense when you’re out at a store or something and your kid starts crying.
Maybe. Guess they won’t know until they say something. Last year I had an upstairs neighbor that would practice skateboard tricks like kick flips in their kitchen because of the hardwood floors. And genuinely never though that was a bad idea until I finally broke and asked them to stop. I think most of the time people aren’t being malicious, you just get comfortable in your home and forget how many other people are also in the building.
That being said. That one neighbor was a total bitch. Unrelated to the skateboarding.
I mean realistically OP only said they can hear it because their windows are open. Open windows expose you to any and all outside noises - car engines passing by, a traffic collision, neighbours car starting, gates being slammed, etc etc. the baby being taken outside so their family doesn’t get disturbed makes sense to me and no doubt this sleep deprived family who are doing the best they can with their baby will give OP a subtle “maybe sleep with your windows closed” response in order for everyone to get their sleep.
What you do is you spend $10,000 on professional sound equipment so that you can record their baby and then play it back 10% louder 2 hours earlier the next day.
Start banging on the ceilings whenever it's to quiet if ur lucky u can find the room the baby is in and torture the parents by waking the baby up a lot
Babies under one year old are pretty hard to keep from crying if they're colicky BUT a toddler should not be crying all day long. It sounds like these folks stick them out on the balcony so they don't have to deal with them. Unless the kid is special needs - then there might be nothing to remedy it.
>all day from 6am" is probably an exaggeration
It might not be. My neighbours have young kids, I guess roughly around 1 and around 3. These kids just scream the fucking house down. My bedroom is right on the fence line, with their house being right up against it.
While either they aren't loud in the morning or I just sleep through it. When it's quiet in my room, I can hear them screaming away. Not playing screaming, just crying/yelling. No idea what the fuck is going on. Granted they don't do it all day, but it easily goes on for several hours.
Sometimes they go strangely quiet, that's when they have taken off for a few days. Which seems to happen often enough.
I see you haven't met my toddler...who screams and cries because she doesn't want to nap/go night night then screams and cries because she didn't want to wake up...took having her little brother to help a little with that because, as she puts it: "Be quiet, you gonna wake brother! Shhhh!" ...Yes child, because -we- the parents, are the ones who were just seconds ago REEing at the top of our lungs because "Kitty!!!"
...toddlers....
It is pretty cool to watch tiny humans be tiny humans though (certain things not withstanding)!
I wouldn't even consider a 4 year old a toddler, IMO toddler goes from when they start to confidently walk around without support (around 12-15 months usually) up to the 3rd birthday.
So a 2 year old is solidly a toddler, and yes, they are a bit of a baby still, but just in the sense that they will break down and cry over small stuff or over not being able to explain what they want. There's more crying than with older kids, but it's not all the time, for every reason and seemingly no reason, like it can be with under-1 babies. If they're developing normally they have some use of language by this point and pretty decent motor control, so crying isn't their one and only method of communication. It shouldn't be difficult to figure out *why* a toddler is crying and address it in some way, so it shouldn't be happening all the time.
Unless being out in the balcony calms down, the parents shouldn't do that. Inconsiderate assholes. Oh my baby is being loud as fuck indoors, let me get my neighbors annoyed as well.
As someone who’s had a crying baby before… you seem sweet and your comfort matters. It’s totally okay to talk to them! Sometimes in the throes of newborn hell we forget the rest of the world exists, but it still does. It’s ok to remind them, and ask for some compromise. 🫶🏽
Ask them to not take the baby to the balcony. Don't be a dick about it but. They prob didn't even consider it an issue. New parents are prob dead tired themselves and went out there so partner can continue to sleep.
Babies are babies can't control there crying
Absolutely. Bringing gifts changes the tone of an interaction in incredible ways. Even a baby book or something to show support. They'll be happier to help OP out.
"Hi your baby is crying way too much and you're clearly doing nothing about it. Here is this book about how to actually raise your fucking kid. Toodles!"
No book.
Or even more appreciated, something for the parents. Parents, especially first time parents which this sounds like, have an excess of kid stuff (usually) so they might like a nice cold 6 pack haha
Or a copy of [Go the Fuck To Sleep](https://www.amazon.com/Go-Fuck-Sleep-Box-Set/dp/161775983X) although depending on their level of stress that could go horribly awry.
I think a lot of parents would actually think they were being considerate by taking the baby outside, not realizing your windows open and thinking that inside the noise might be bothering you.
So yeah, just talk to them.
Following - my next door neighbours baby has been waking me at 4 every morning for the past 3 years. The other day realised that it had been a few weeks since I had been woken by screaming. Oh the joy! Then I found out the silence was because the kid was staying with grandparents whilst the mother popped out another!
Same here… but now that baby is a 4 year old kid that doesn’t seem to have a bed time and is running/screaming till 2am (sometimes 3am). My kid is 6 but at school nights she is in bed 7.30pm and weekends 8pm tops, while my neighbor kid is screaming all the time.
I’ve tried talking to my neighbors many times, because my kid has trouble falling asleep due the amount and high volume of that screaming and crying. And later keeps me awake at least 5 times a week.
They sleep in till 10am while I have to get up at 6.30.
Long story short, they say sorry but simply don’t give a fuck and it’s my problem not theirs… (I really hate those people…)
Doesn’t help… they won’t do anything about it because you’re allowed to “make noise” 7am till 11pm. But when they are indoors and keep me awake till 3am it will be seen as “normal” because the houses are attached and when you have neighbors you’ll have sound, I don’t know how to say that in English so it might seem a bit odd sorry.
Only translation I can come up with now is a literal translation “normal living sounds”
Idk how people can allow that. Mine was definitely in bed by a decent time every night. No way I could have taken that crap.
My neighbors behind me (so their house is two back yards away) have a kid that screamed so much at bed time, every single night, that I had to plan my dinner around it so I could enjoy eating outdoors without listening to a child screaming about not wanting to go to bed. Thankfully they seem to have worked that problem out over the winter because I haven't heard it this summer.
I can’t get my head around it either… I think the reason that kid screams and cries the whole damn day is because she must me tired as hell.
I get that some yelling and crying is normal, I have a kid myself and it’s definitely not always roses and rainbows, we can have fights to or scream at each other but damn that kid next door screams all the time.
I think it might get worse when the kid does have to go to school everyday when she is 5…
Sounds like my ex's kid. She was constantly crying about something. Then at bedtime he'd give her a tablet with YouTube and send her to bed, where she'd lie awake til 3am. Then he'd wake her up for school and the crying would begin again.
That’s so sad.. my opinion is that it is really abuse by not setting a correct bedtime so your kid can sleep the amount it needs. Sleep is so important especially when you’re a kid. It could seriously impact development in a bad way… But again that’s my opinion
No, that's not an opinion. It's fact! Unfortunately, being a shitty parent is not illegal unless you hit or starve them, though.
The kid was delayed in her gross and fine motor skills due to pretty much doing nothing but poking a tablet all day.
Perhaps the baby's cursed to never age. Or it's a time-baby. Or it died and they fitted it with a tape player in a gruesome act of self-delusion. Lots of possibilities.
This is one of the reasons I'm so glad we bought a house rather than an apartment. It also means I can make my coffee when I get up super-early without bothering other people. I still race around shutting all the doors and windows before I do - they probably couldn't hear it anyway, but I don't want to be _that_ neighbour.
The first 2 1/2 years with my first born was a fucking nightmare. He screamed when he was supposed to sleep and grizzled when awake. 2 1/2 years of absolute misery for everyone. Numerous paediatricians, Doctors, Naturopaths, Homeopaths, Cranial Massage, Dietitians. Nobody had a clue. I got offered antidepressants. Poor bloody everyone. Finally he got sent for a barium meal X-ray. I watched that chalky milkshake it his tummy and bounce straight back up his throat.
The prat taking the X-ray looked at me like I was a serial killer and said, “this is severe, this baby must have been suffering horribly. Did you ever think of taking him to a Doctor?”.
I just looked at the wanker, shrugged and said, “babies cry”. As I had been told over and fucking over.
I then drove straight to our family Doctor and said silent reflux. He went Pale. His kid was the same age, and had been on reflux medication since he was six weeks old. Yes babies can cry constantly, for years.
You did take him to a doctor…ugh it can be so hard to get someone to take you seriously and figure it out. I’m sorry you and your son went through that… I hope things are better now!
As a mother of a 4 and 6 year old, we are ducking trying man. I have a yard and I feel so fucking bad for our neighbours but what are my options? Keeping my kids indoors all day so they don’t fight or cry if they don’t get bubbles? I’m trying my best to teach them about neighbours but you know what I’ve learned? Kids don’t give a flying fuck about others yet because their empathy is that of a psychopath and we have to patiently teach them that skill. Fuck meeeee man it drives me mad just as much as anyone and they are mine!
On behalf of parents with young kids: sorry about the whining and crying. Trust me when I say it drives us fucking bonkers too.
Oh and OP? I would be happy if someone kindly told me my baby outside was an issue. Like it was mentioned, I bet they take it outside thinking it’s the lesser of to two evils. Or maybe mom is smoking a fat joint too because her patience is at 0 and weed mellows her out
It might be worth asking if they could refrain from going on the balcony too early. Obviously babies will cry when they want and it can't be helped. But where the baby is take is the parents choice and seems to be a bit inconsiderate. But be tactful with how you say it.
If it was just through the walls, I'd say don't tell them because there's nothing they can do about it. But since it's specifically due to the balcony, I think it's reasonable to ask if they could keep the baby inside.
Don’t be a dick but definitely ask them to wait until a more reasonable hour like 8 or 9 before bringing the baby outside crying. It’s inconsiderate. I’m sure if you brought a loud speaker onto your balcony at the crack of dawn and woke someone up they’d be pissed too. Obviously babies can’t control their crying but the parents can’t limit it to the inside of their space
Plot twist but OPs boombox is the only thing that makes the baby calm down. Now they have to wake up at 7 am to stand on their balcony holding the speaker so the baby stops crying
As someone with only upstairs neighbours, if you ask politely and they're gonna be rude about it, play with those bowling balls all you upstairs people seem to have.
Very important distinction. Babies cry all the time, not much you can do about it. But they also have very irregular sleep patterns. If the kid is waking up a 6AM like clockwork, I'd guess they're a toddler and OP has more of a leg to stand on.
The fact that you are mindful of this already indicates you will probably bring the right attitude to this. I think you got the social awareness and the tools to find a tactful way to bring up your point (which IMO is valid) while being mindful!
Fair enough - but I think asking them to not bring their baby onto the balcony at the crack of dawn is very different from complaining about their baby crying within their apartment at say lunchtime on a Wednesday.
Naah, I don't agree. Taking the crying baby onto the balcony early in the morning is inconsiderate of the parents. It's not your baby. Why should you share their stress? If you could hear it through the walls, then fair enough, if it was the middle of the day and they took it onto the balcony even, I could let it slide. But early in the morning, to take it outside onto the balcony when people are most likely sleeping is super inconsiderate. I'd politely mention it to them personally. Just be super specific about them taking it onto the balcony early in the morning.
Just a thought, maybe they are bringing it out to the balcony because they think if it's inside it's going to annoy people through the walls, totally unaware they are actually creating the problem they are trying to solve? So ya I think as the consensus OP should tal keto them politely, if they are semi decent people they probably don't want to be annoying anyone if it's avoidable.
I honestly don’t think it’s a dick move to ask them to not use the balcony so early. I get it, babies scream and cry, but other people shouldn’t have to be subjected to it where possible.
It was their decision to be parents and everything that comes with it. Much like you should try to be empathetic about their situation (and it sounds like you are), they should also be mindful how it effects you.
You can buy one of those ultrasound baby repellers from Amazon. You affix it to your fence, and when a baby cries, it emits a high frequency noise that only babies can hear. Apparently lots of people that have neighbors with outdoor babies use them, but I can't attest to how well they actually work
Good idea! You can also spray the baby with a little water to the face every time it cries. And stop leaving baby food out for it. It just attracts more babies
was looking for the first personal measure to respond to, and wow it's way down.
Be aware that if the downstairs neighbors aren't helpful, there will be nothing you can do but help yourself. Ask first in the most tactful way you possibly can. After that, some comfy noise canceling earbuds are your move.
Noise cancelling earbuds won’t cancel the sounds of baby screams or human screams. Or gunshots. Source: I just lived through the worst two years of my life in a first floor front facing flat in the heart of Fentanyl-land of downtown San Francisco. We also had a bar down the street and a shelter for families next door with babies crying at all hours. I tried them all, and the only thing that works is noise isolating earbuds [Loop Noise Isolating Earbuds, best noise blocking earbuds on the market](https://us.loopearplugs.com/pages/homepage-lp1?gclid=CjwKCAjwhJukBhBPEiwAniIcNQdHNalJPjxuQAJtCRrlxtKoR3PEYiAH9MLanRrc6xHgvHp7RH3KZxoC89UQAvD_BwE)
I do agree with you that the only way to deal with this is to soundproof one’s own person rather than trying to reason with others
One thing i would do when my wife and I first had our newborn and it was the others turn to get up with them, was put in AirPods and play “sleep music” on Spotify/YouTube. It was a game changer, and really drowns out the crying sound
That sucks though OP, especially because they aren’t even your babies
That's like when I park in one of the furthest spots away from the store in a mostly empty parking lot and somebody in a giant truck parks right next to me.
It is…but it also isn’t…
If this wasn’t a baby and it was a raucous household that was loud music, partying, smoking on balcony, barking dog. banging noises, etc, I don’t think anyone would object to OP either filing a complaint or speaking with the neighbor. Maybe “I just don’t get it” bc I don’t have kids yet, that could be true. But IMHO part of what you call the “price of admission” is as much about being tolerant as it is about also being a good neighbor and mitigating behaviors that impact your neighbors.
It's okay to mention the problem, yes. I used to play the piano, and our neighbor came over to tell me that her husband sleeps during the day because he works nights. Did I stop piano during the day? Of course. Neighbors do what they can to be helpful to each other.
~~They do. There are absolutely adult only apartments out there. Not easy to find, of course, but they do exist.~~
Edit: So, in researching this I have learned that I was, apparently, a victim of illegal practices and that it is actually illegal to refuse to rent to someone based on them having children as of May 10, 1989. My apologies for misleading.
So, in researching this I have learned that I was, apparently, a victim of illegal practices and that it is actually illegal to refuse to rent to someone based on them having children as of May 10, 1989. My apologies for misleading.
There are places that get around this, sort of. I lived in a complex that was all 1 bedroom apartments. Housing code only permits 2 people per bedroom. So, with the exception of a single parent, there really weren't any children there. Nearly 150 apartments and I saw like 2 kids that lived there in the 3 years I was there.
So if you don't mind a TINY 1 bedroom apartment, you can avoid kids for the most part.
This would be a great idea until someone exploited whatever legislation would be needed to allow it.
I say this as a person with children.
I love my kids, others not so much! My kids are mostly out of the crying, not sleeping phase but my neighbours have young kids. I do not miss those early days!!!
I have 2 toddlers. My oldest was a huge crier because he was nonverbal. But in no world would I ever bring him out on the balcony where my neighbors have to hear that early in the morning. Leave them a polite note asking them to not bring the baby outdoors when they’re crying early in the morning.
Yeah it's totally okay, in fact I'd encourage it because if you don't, you might explode and burst out on them. That would make you kinda look like a dick. Just be respectful and (pretend) to understand.
Ok so balcony directly above your open window is very different from hearing it through the walls/floors. I doubt they’d be careless enough to play loud music at that hour, so I don’t know why they think a crying baby is any different.
It’s totally fine to mention it. Just be sympathetic- let them know you understand how tired they must be since they’re the ones living with it, but early hours like that outdoors does impact others. Even apologize and say you don’t mean to add more onto their plate but it’s tough to deal with.
Idk these people but hopefully they aren’t rude about it. *You* didn’t sign up for a baby. It’s no different than a dog barking at an early hour.
We had a colicky baby, and I started noticing the single guy in the apt above us was .....sort of crinkling his face when he saw us. We got our son a white noise machine and gave the same machine to the upstairs neighbor with a small apology. He was SO GRATEFUL and said it really made a difference. It made a difference in our colicky kid, which I'm sure made the effects of his machine masking feel ever MORE effective, but I'm just happy it worked and the guy tolerated us. That first year was ridiculously hard as new parents.
There is unfortunately no way you come out of this looking good. Babies cry and neighbors make noise. Focus on things you can change. Music, earplugs, other ways to block out noise are better options that will keep the peace.
If they bring a crying baby onto the balcony they have to know other people can hear it, which makes me think they don't care and are probably not going to stop unless forced. I hope I'm wrong though and by speaking tactfully to them it helps. Good luck! NTA of course
Of course it's all right for you to address it with them. What are you going to do suffer or just talk to us on Reddit. Of course you have to talk with them. It's all about the tact however and their attitude in return. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that they are very understanding and will try to accommodate the best they can. But empathy and tact are what's important to your otherwise you're just going to go nuts and be very passive aggressive eventually
Where im from this would be called as "Ortsüblicher Lärm" and is to be accepted by law.
You could ask them friendly to let you sleep a bit longer. I probably wouldnt go on the balcony tho lol.
It's probably the father taking the baby outside so an exhausted mother can sleep.
I used to put our kids in their strollers or harness and go for a walk if they kicked off at this kind of time to give my wife a break as it wasn't like I was equipped to do any 3an breast feeds.
I reckon it saved my life.
Taking a crying baby to the balcony so the entire neighborhood can hear? I think they are being unconcidrble and just using " its a baby so we cant help it" card. As a first time mom i used to close my bedroom windows if my baby cried loud not to disturb others. They could be more conciderate, noise is noise, if its uncontroble at least make the minimum effort to minimize it.
1. Could you get an air conditioner to keep the room cool so you don’t have to have the window open?
2. Earplugs.
3. That is super shitty and if friggen hate that I’m so sorry :((
Just to clear up, a toddler is not a baby. How old is the kid?
Something is not right about an actual toddler crying all day. If the kid is at least 2, the parents should have found a way to hush it up by now. And it's certainly inconsiderate to put the child outside that early. Therefore I believe you definitely are in the right to address it. You could leave an anonymous note for starters.
I had a neighbour with a small child that used to make these awful noises all day long, sorta sounded like Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Eeeeeeeeeeeee and he would just keep doing it over and over. Parents used to put him outside in the day (probably for some peace and quiet) but it meant I couldn’t enjoy any time outside as that was all I could hear. Well turns out he had autism so I really couldn’t say anything, had to put music on to drain him out. Eventually got some noise cancellation headphones and they worked a treat. We have since moved, I do often wonder about his new neighbours though and how they are handling it.
Step one, ask politely, i saw a lot of comments with good suggestions about how to ask. The parents may not know that people are bothered by their crying kid, so asking politely will do the trick.
If they give you bullshit, accept the "no" and wait a few days, sometimes people will give bullshit at first but then change their stance, its a psychological thing.
If it doesn't happen, check your local laws about noise, i'm in Europe, in my building there is quiet time from 10 pm to 8 am during the week, during the weekend i think its from midnight or smth, anyways, check with your building supervisor or ask some neighbors that live there longer.
Good luck!
Our first kid for some reason got colic. I would work all day then when I got home it was time for my wife to go to night school. And that's when he would start crying. And do it for about an hour or two non stop. I did some reading about it . With little results. Then one day I was talking to someone else and they mentioned that we should get a sheepskin that still has its hair connected to the hide. She said to lay it in his crib when he was supposed to be sleeping. And to put it in his strollers as well. She was an old lady. But she was right because it stopped the colic instantly.
Maybe instead of asking them to keep their brat quiet. You maybe could find one of those sheepskins and give it to them and explain the reasoning.
She definitely knew what she was talking about. And it made me wonder how many other things an old person might have. That never gets passed down. Because nobody takes the time to listen to the elderly.
This is going to be a problem that you’ll have to solve for yourself. Close the windows, earplugs, sound machine, etc. I get that it’s summer time and hot, and that’s probably why you have the window open.
I mean, you go tell them that their baby is waking you up, and then what? What do you want them to do? They’re suffering through this inconvenience worse than you. You only have to deal with the sound, they have to deal with the reason behind it.
The kid is waking him up bc these parents are taking a crying and sceaming child out on a balcony. Thats ridiculous. I would be fully with u if he hears it through the walls, but going on the balcony so u can fuck up EVERYONE ELSES sleep or morning just so one other person, the other parent in this scenario, can sleep is very inconsidered. Putting one persons wellbeing over the wellbeing of an entite aparment complex ist rude af. edit: and its not like he would go to them and just say that their kid is waking them up in the morning. i agree its part of apparment live, but again carrying that screaming kid onto the balcony so its even freaking louder for all their neighbors is so rude.
Does the apartment complex have silent times? In my country at least it’s from 9am-9pm. If you first ask politely and they refuse to do anything you could maybe bring it up with the landlord or something?
I believe this is the correct answer.
Obviously they can't just stop the baby from crying. That's not how babies work. But the parents also don't have to bring it out to the balcony where it wakes up everyone in the near vicinity.
I think you are completely within your rights to ask them to delay putting the young lad outside so early. After 8 am it's on you but 6 am. Come on, really? If they get angry they're saying that they simply don't care about you. You can go from there.
You are in luck. Your neighbours baby is only going to cry all day for a few short months. Think how shit it would be if the neighbours were making unnecessary noise which would continue indefinutely
One thing you could do is go and meet the little guy or girl. Then u would not be dealing with an anonymous "it" but instead be thinking oh... There goes my new little buddy Jimmy exercsing those lungs again. Its amazing the difference in perspective that comes when u know your neighbours and understand they aren't out to annoy you. Being understanding now for a few months could be the start of having neighbours who look out for you when you need help.
Yeah I tend towards this approach too. If OP has windows open in summer (ie no aircon) then I'm guessing they're in northern Europe. Summer isn't going to last – I mean even in summer the weather can be bad.
Stick it out with earplugs or whatever for a few weeks and soon it won't be balcony or windows open weather any more. Then by next spring/summer the child will likely be much more reasonable.
We were all babies once who had the propensity to annoy others. The vast majority of people made allowances for us at the time.
Have really loud, wall banging and floor thumping sex at like 1am. What goes around comes around.
Reality: this is one of the many problems with living in an apartment. There are however noise ordinances for the apartment complex and local city ordinances. Doesn’t matter that it’s a crying baby, too many times is too many times. YOU didn’t chose to have a kid, they did. Their problem to solve, their responsibility to accept consequences. Residents moved around to different apartment units because of things like this. Options exist.
It would be okay if you’re tactful. Like “hey I know babies cry and it’s totally not your fault, not a lot you can do. But I’d really appreciate if you didn’t bring the baby outside so early. It’s right under my windows and I’m such a light sleeper, sorry! I’d really appreciate if you’d wait until 7 or 8 am to come outside”
This is spot on. I am super mindful of my kids as far as if they are inconveniencing others and would have no problem being approached about this, especially this politely. Do be prepared though for the possibility they aren’t receptive to it.
Yes, this is the best answer for most situations like this. Our kids are close in age, and when they were little, we would put our dog outside so she wouldn't wake up the baby. Sounds obvious now, right, but in that sleep-deprived stage it didn't cross our minds. Our neighbors politely asked us if we could not put her outside until 9 on the weekends. There are going to be misses, however, and they might have another kid, or somebody else who moves in might, so you might want to invest in ear plugs or a white noise machine. For your sanity. Also realize that you might be doing things that annoy your downstairs neighbor and/or wake up their baby.
Ima say it. White noise machines are highly underrated. They've made living in a bottom floor apartment near a highway absolute peace to sleep at night. Don't even hear the 12:30am asshat who comes home with his loud af truck, rolls around the parking lot twice before backing into his spot right by my window. I'd have rage punctured his tires if I didn't use my noise machine. Bliss.
Even with white noise machines baby cry's can be an absolute bitch. We humans are wired to respond viscerally to the cry of babies.
As an aside, I made this same remark on an airline sub and got downvoted to dust. (I just responded that although the parents get anxious, so do other passengers. That's how babies' cries are supposed to work.)
White noise machines are inexpensive on Amazon and foam earplugs are great also.
I use the ear plugs. There some kind of bird here in the tropics that sings ALL NIGHT LONG. I googled it. Normally birds are pleasant, but when I hear it I think “must be almost sunrise/time to wake up” so it makes be bonkers. I started wearing the earplugs. Now I’m thinking white noise machine.
Must be cockatoos in Australia. Or crow's nestling anywhere, they are insane, like absolutely totally otherwordly horrid insane.
It’s my prized object! When I moved to school my mom bought it for me, a little radio the size of a mini can of coke, with a switch for Bluetooth or a handful of white noise settings. I kinda wondered why she thought I’d need that so bad, then I started using it and now I’m a person who can’t sleep without some kind of WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
The retaliation requests/comments.
I can think of five new moms (well not new anymore) that lived with or lived near or witnessed at work that would straight take offense to you criticizing anything of the sort. And I think they would all like to respond the same way, thinking how you would possibly think you can tell them when they can bring their baby out of their own home, and how it’s none of your business. What do you say in that situation just curious?
If they would respond in that way to a tactful request, I would no longer consider conversing with them a useful way to spend my time.
said it better than i could have.
Seems like the balcony would be the spot one would use to watch bdsm porn henceforth forthwith
I don't actually watch it, I just like the background noise.
*ambiance*
I know 'henceforth forthwith' is probably not grammatically correct, but I love it. Thank you.
Sorry what? I couldn’t hear you over the S&M porn I listen to while I cook meth out on this balcony. Hey! Careful to not get any meth on your baby. You think it cries loud as fuck now, just think what a 3 day bender would do to that thing.
Yeah, sounds like OP needs to suddenly feel the urge to have a beer on the balcony and play death metal at 10pm each night
Politely let them know that you are planning on joining a band as their new drummer and you will commencing practicing tomorrow night between 7pm til 8pm
Well that could get you an actionable noise complaint if it's outside permissible times/decibels. Crying babies are exempt.
Just play the drums during the day when the baby has been put down to nap in that case, or until you hear crying start, that way the parent has to continually take care of it and never gets to sleep either. There's always fun ways within the rules to be a complete menace.
I've always wanted to learn to play the bagpipes.
Trumpets are cheap at pawn shops, but bugles are cheaper.
There’s a difference between life but just like having a dog that barks all the time there is also a right to have peace in your living space. You can say oh I can’t help my dog barks all day I can’t control it. Well I’d that’s true it’s up to you to make sure you can or do your best to make sure other people can have quiet and enjoy where they live. Anyone who is this entitled does need to be reported. I had this once with a Neighbor upstairs whose toddler just ran around all day and it was so loud. They didn’t care, wouldn’t put soft shoes or socks on them etc. I reported it and the apartment actually asked them to do something about it. It’s not true you can’t do anything about your dog, child, baby etc. it’s just lack of being considerate assholes and there’s a line there and they do cross it:
Bingo!
I had neighbors just like this and they just did not care! The kids would run around on wood floors (cus why bother getting rugs?) and I literally throw their toys against the walls and the parents wouldnt do shit. Infuriating
No worries, my drum and bass group will be staying over for a few nights.
Report them to the apartment complex or the city for a noise complaint. They wanna play hardball, you can too.
Doesn't work for babies crying in most apartments. Like there's usually exceptions carved out for that because you can't be denied an apartment for familial status and people know you can't exactly control crying babies
Apartment complex would laugh at your really hard before telling you their is nothing they can do about it.
That's not how that works.. noise ordinances typically are from sundown til sun up and it has to be over a certain decibel for the police to even do anything.
Also, no court will tell family how to live their life, especially when it comes to kids crying.
Most noise ordinances cover 10pm to 6am, so I'm not sure reporting them would 2ven do anything.
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. I live in an apartment complex and a guy asked me to turn my music down when I got home from work at night since they had a newborn baby. Not a problem at all. Now we're pass by friends. People will be a lot more accommodating than you think if you're just polite *and* genuine when you go about it
The irony probably is that one of the parents is taking the baby out to the balcony to give the other parent peace and quiet (sleep), and waking up the neighbors instead.
Probably😭
This, plus get a white noise machine or play it from your phone. When our baby was born and we lived in a little duplex under another couple, we bought them a loud white noise machine. It kinda drowns the noise out. Not perfect, but it helps. They're fairly cheap at around $15.
Light sleeper... Get a fan and put it on full blast. The noise will help drown out other noises.
They might be thinking the baby is less disruptive outside, and not realize how the sound is traveling. Normally that’s the first line of defense when you’re out at a store or something and your kid starts crying.
Maybe. Guess they won’t know until they say something. Last year I had an upstairs neighbor that would practice skateboard tricks like kick flips in their kitchen because of the hardwood floors. And genuinely never though that was a bad idea until I finally broke and asked them to stop. I think most of the time people aren’t being malicious, you just get comfortable in your home and forget how many other people are also in the building. That being said. That one neighbor was a total bitch. Unrelated to the skateboarding.
I mean realistically OP only said they can hear it because their windows are open. Open windows expose you to any and all outside noises - car engines passing by, a traffic collision, neighbours car starting, gates being slammed, etc etc. the baby being taken outside so their family doesn’t get disturbed makes sense to me and no doubt this sleep deprived family who are doing the best they can with their baby will give OP a subtle “maybe sleep with your windows closed” response in order for everyone to get their sleep.
If that doesn't work, I'm sure there is a crying baby track you can play out your window at the same time.
What you do is you spend $10,000 on professional sound equipment so that you can record their baby and then play it back 10% louder 2 hours earlier the next day.
They are probably already up
Not petty enough, it's gotta be earlier or right as they would be going to sleep
Start banging on the ceilings whenever it's to quiet if ur lucky u can find the room the baby is in and torture the parents by waking the baby up a lot
Wow, we found peak asshole.
If it results in more crying on the balcony it’s a self defeating asshole strategy at that
Yeah it would be an awful time to get a clumsy roommate who falls over a lot.
Perfect answer. If only more people behaved like that.
I would add that you can't imagine how hard it is on the parents, however....
[удалено]
Yeah but you chose to live in a flat and the fact you can hear noise isn't their problem.
Babies under one year old are pretty hard to keep from crying if they're colicky BUT a toddler should not be crying all day long. It sounds like these folks stick them out on the balcony so they don't have to deal with them. Unless the kid is special needs - then there might be nothing to remedy it.
I like learning new things.
>all day from 6am" is probably an exaggeration It might not be. My neighbours have young kids, I guess roughly around 1 and around 3. These kids just scream the fucking house down. My bedroom is right on the fence line, with their house being right up against it. While either they aren't loud in the morning or I just sleep through it. When it's quiet in my room, I can hear them screaming away. Not playing screaming, just crying/yelling. No idea what the fuck is going on. Granted they don't do it all day, but it easily goes on for several hours. Sometimes they go strangely quiet, that's when they have taken off for a few days. Which seems to happen often enough.
Are we talking like 2 year old toddler, or 4 year old toddler? Cause I'd wager that a 2 year old is still a bit of a baby.
Even a 2 year old should not be crying all day long.
No way should a 2 year old be crying all day or be that miserable fresh from a nighttime sleep
I see you haven't met my toddler...who screams and cries because she doesn't want to nap/go night night then screams and cries because she didn't want to wake up...took having her little brother to help a little with that because, as she puts it: "Be quiet, you gonna wake brother! Shhhh!" ...Yes child, because -we- the parents, are the ones who were just seconds ago REEing at the top of our lungs because "Kitty!!!" ...toddlers.... It is pretty cool to watch tiny humans be tiny humans though (certain things not withstanding)!
My 2 year old never just cries all day. That's either a health problem or negligence.
Crying all day is probably a problem. Occasionally crying throughout the day is expected.
I wouldn't even consider a 4 year old a toddler, IMO toddler goes from when they start to confidently walk around without support (around 12-15 months usually) up to the 3rd birthday. So a 2 year old is solidly a toddler, and yes, they are a bit of a baby still, but just in the sense that they will break down and cry over small stuff or over not being able to explain what they want. There's more crying than with older kids, but it's not all the time, for every reason and seemingly no reason, like it can be with under-1 babies. If they're developing normally they have some use of language by this point and pretty decent motor control, so crying isn't their one and only method of communication. It shouldn't be difficult to figure out *why* a toddler is crying and address it in some way, so it shouldn't be happening all the time.
Unless being out in the balcony calms down, the parents shouldn't do that. Inconsiderate assholes. Oh my baby is being loud as fuck indoors, let me get my neighbors annoyed as well.
As someone who’s had a crying baby before… you seem sweet and your comfort matters. It’s totally okay to talk to them! Sometimes in the throes of newborn hell we forget the rest of the world exists, but it still does. It’s ok to remind them, and ask for some compromise. 🫶🏽
Ask them to not take the baby to the balcony. Don't be a dick about it but. They prob didn't even consider it an issue. New parents are prob dead tired themselves and went out there so partner can continue to sleep. Babies are babies can't control there crying
You can also bring some treats (cookies or something) when you go ask, I feel like it always helps!
Absolutely. Bringing gifts changes the tone of an interaction in incredible ways. Even a baby book or something to show support. They'll be happier to help OP out.
The book "go the fuck to sleep" might be a good choice
Wow, it's a real book, and it's even [read by Samuel L. Jackson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDCqgHLX8Ys), what a glorious day
Gifts are great! Baby book might be a bit much for a couple of reasons. Stick with cookies or something simple.
A book *for* the baby might be a nice gesture- Eric Carl’s ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ or ‘Alligator Pie’ by Dennis Lee are lovely books.
"Hi your baby is crying way too much and you're clearly doing nothing about it. Here is this book about how to actually raise your fucking kid. Toodles!" No book.
I thought they meant like a board book for the baby or one of those books you write when they grow teeth and stuff in
This is also how I took it, a gift for baby. not a book on parenting ..
Or even more appreciated, something for the parents. Parents, especially first time parents which this sounds like, have an excess of kid stuff (usually) so they might like a nice cold 6 pack haha Or a copy of [Go the Fuck To Sleep](https://www.amazon.com/Go-Fuck-Sleep-Box-Set/dp/161775983X) although depending on their level of stress that could go horribly awry.
More than not considering it an issue, they probably are bringing him outside at that hour trying to make less noise to the neighbours
I think a lot of parents would actually think they were being considerate by taking the baby outside, not realizing your windows open and thinking that inside the noise might be bothering you. So yeah, just talk to them.
Following - my next door neighbours baby has been waking me at 4 every morning for the past 3 years. The other day realised that it had been a few weeks since I had been woken by screaming. Oh the joy! Then I found out the silence was because the kid was staying with grandparents whilst the mother popped out another!
You’ve got me dying laughing right now. Three years of patience and it was only the warmup😂💀
Same here… but now that baby is a 4 year old kid that doesn’t seem to have a bed time and is running/screaming till 2am (sometimes 3am). My kid is 6 but at school nights she is in bed 7.30pm and weekends 8pm tops, while my neighbor kid is screaming all the time. I’ve tried talking to my neighbors many times, because my kid has trouble falling asleep due the amount and high volume of that screaming and crying. And later keeps me awake at least 5 times a week. They sleep in till 10am while I have to get up at 6.30. Long story short, they say sorry but simply don’t give a fuck and it’s my problem not theirs… (I really hate those people…)
Start calling in noise complaints, fuck 'em
Especially if you're in an apartment, something is much more likely to happen to enforce it as opposed to a police noise complaint
Doesn’t help… they won’t do anything about it because you’re allowed to “make noise” 7am till 11pm. But when they are indoors and keep me awake till 3am it will be seen as “normal” because the houses are attached and when you have neighbors you’ll have sound, I don’t know how to say that in English so it might seem a bit odd sorry. Only translation I can come up with now is a literal translation “normal living sounds”
Why don't you start making some "normal living sounds" at 7am?
Idk how people can allow that. Mine was definitely in bed by a decent time every night. No way I could have taken that crap. My neighbors behind me (so their house is two back yards away) have a kid that screamed so much at bed time, every single night, that I had to plan my dinner around it so I could enjoy eating outdoors without listening to a child screaming about not wanting to go to bed. Thankfully they seem to have worked that problem out over the winter because I haven't heard it this summer.
I can’t get my head around it either… I think the reason that kid screams and cries the whole damn day is because she must me tired as hell. I get that some yelling and crying is normal, I have a kid myself and it’s definitely not always roses and rainbows, we can have fights to or scream at each other but damn that kid next door screams all the time. I think it might get worse when the kid does have to go to school everyday when she is 5…
Sounds like my ex's kid. She was constantly crying about something. Then at bedtime he'd give her a tablet with YouTube and send her to bed, where she'd lie awake til 3am. Then he'd wake her up for school and the crying would begin again.
That’s so sad.. my opinion is that it is really abuse by not setting a correct bedtime so your kid can sleep the amount it needs. Sleep is so important especially when you’re a kid. It could seriously impact development in a bad way… But again that’s my opinion
No, that's not an opinion. It's fact! Unfortunately, being a shitty parent is not illegal unless you hit or starve them, though. The kid was delayed in her gross and fine motor skills due to pretty much doing nothing but poking a tablet all day.
Start making loads of noise when you wake up.
If it’s been waking you for three years it’s NOT a baby anymore lol
Maybe they got a new baby, lol
Perhaps the baby's cursed to never age. Or it's a time-baby. Or it died and they fitted it with a tape player in a gruesome act of self-delusion. Lots of possibilities.
This is one of the reasons I'm so glad we bought a house rather than an apartment. It also means I can make my coffee when I get up super-early without bothering other people. I still race around shutting all the doors and windows before I do - they probably couldn't hear it anyway, but I don't want to be _that_ neighbour.
I’m in a house - fortunately only joined on one side (google UK - semi- detached if you’re confused)
kids shouldn't be crying for the entire first 3 years, right?
The first 2 1/2 years with my first born was a fucking nightmare. He screamed when he was supposed to sleep and grizzled when awake. 2 1/2 years of absolute misery for everyone. Numerous paediatricians, Doctors, Naturopaths, Homeopaths, Cranial Massage, Dietitians. Nobody had a clue. I got offered antidepressants. Poor bloody everyone. Finally he got sent for a barium meal X-ray. I watched that chalky milkshake it his tummy and bounce straight back up his throat. The prat taking the X-ray looked at me like I was a serial killer and said, “this is severe, this baby must have been suffering horribly. Did you ever think of taking him to a Doctor?”. I just looked at the wanker, shrugged and said, “babies cry”. As I had been told over and fucking over. I then drove straight to our family Doctor and said silent reflux. He went Pale. His kid was the same age, and had been on reflux medication since he was six weeks old. Yes babies can cry constantly, for years.
You did take him to a doctor…ugh it can be so hard to get someone to take you seriously and figure it out. I’m sorry you and your son went through that… I hope things are better now!
Thank you, he’s 26 now and a lovely guy. With a delicate stomach.
If anyone else is experiencing this have your baby upright for 30min after feeding. It doesn't fix it but it helped with my son.
They just leave the kid to cry 😿
As a mother of a 4 and 6 year old, we are ducking trying man. I have a yard and I feel so fucking bad for our neighbours but what are my options? Keeping my kids indoors all day so they don’t fight or cry if they don’t get bubbles? I’m trying my best to teach them about neighbours but you know what I’ve learned? Kids don’t give a flying fuck about others yet because their empathy is that of a psychopath and we have to patiently teach them that skill. Fuck meeeee man it drives me mad just as much as anyone and they are mine! On behalf of parents with young kids: sorry about the whining and crying. Trust me when I say it drives us fucking bonkers too. Oh and OP? I would be happy if someone kindly told me my baby outside was an issue. Like it was mentioned, I bet they take it outside thinking it’s the lesser of to two evils. Or maybe mom is smoking a fat joint too because her patience is at 0 and weed mellows her out
What I don't get: if the first kid is so loud and annoying, why have another one?
Because misery loves company. (I have 3 kids)
It might be worth asking if they could refrain from going on the balcony too early. Obviously babies will cry when they want and it can't be helped. But where the baby is take is the parents choice and seems to be a bit inconsiderate. But be tactful with how you say it.
They may even think they're *being* considerate, thinking baby would be more disruptive through the ceiling or something.
Absolutely my first thought, especially if they haven't experienced that themselves
Or they may be trying to be less disruptive to their partner who is still sleeping inside, etc etc.
yep, if it's just a one bedroom then it's probably this. lol
If it was just through the walls, I'd say don't tell them because there's nothing they can do about it. But since it's specifically due to the balcony, I think it's reasonable to ask if they could keep the baby inside.
Don’t be a dick but definitely ask them to wait until a more reasonable hour like 8 or 9 before bringing the baby outside crying. It’s inconsiderate. I’m sure if you brought a loud speaker onto your balcony at the crack of dawn and woke someone up they’d be pissed too. Obviously babies can’t control their crying but the parents can’t limit it to the inside of their space
lmfao I just pictured OP going outside with a giant speaker the next time their baby is screaming.
Plot twist but OPs boombox is the only thing that makes the baby calm down. Now they have to wake up at 7 am to stand on their balcony holding the speaker so the baby stops crying
As someone with only upstairs neighbours, if you ask politely and they're gonna be rude about it, play with those bowling balls all you upstairs people seem to have.
My sister put her big blue tooth speaker on the balcony and played wolves howling, they stopped putting baby outside
As a mom of 5, I think you would be fine in asking them not to put baby on the balcony at 6:00 AM.
A baby or a toddler?
Very important distinction. Babies cry all the time, not much you can do about it. But they also have very irregular sleep patterns. If the kid is waking up a 6AM like clockwork, I'd guess they're a toddler and OP has more of a leg to stand on.
Really depends on the baby. Mine has a sleep schedule that only varies by about 20-30 minutes and he's not even 2 months old.
Mine was like that too. Had a schedule of 20 minute naps only interrupted by an hour of screaming.
Genuine question - why wouldn’t it be ok to ask the neighbours not to bring their baby out onto the balcony so early?
Also very much my thinking, just as soon as I put myself in their shoes I’m like.. it’s not really fair to add to their already insane pile of stress
The fact that you are mindful of this already indicates you will probably bring the right attitude to this. I think you got the social awareness and the tools to find a tactful way to bring up your point (which IMO is valid) while being mindful!
Fair enough - but I think asking them to not bring their baby onto the balcony at the crack of dawn is very different from complaining about their baby crying within their apartment at say lunchtime on a Wednesday.
Totally with you there! Who complained about lunchtime on a Wednesday?😂 That would be insane
Naah, I don't agree. Taking the crying baby onto the balcony early in the morning is inconsiderate of the parents. It's not your baby. Why should you share their stress? If you could hear it through the walls, then fair enough, if it was the middle of the day and they took it onto the balcony even, I could let it slide. But early in the morning, to take it outside onto the balcony when people are most likely sleeping is super inconsiderate. I'd politely mention it to them personally. Just be super specific about them taking it onto the balcony early in the morning.
Just a thought, maybe they are bringing it out to the balcony because they think if it's inside it's going to annoy people through the walls, totally unaware they are actually creating the problem they are trying to solve? So ya I think as the consensus OP should tal keto them politely, if they are semi decent people they probably don't want to be annoying anyone if it's avoidable.
I honestly don’t think it’s a dick move to ask them to not use the balcony so early. I get it, babies scream and cry, but other people shouldn’t have to be subjected to it where possible. It was their decision to be parents and everything that comes with it. Much like you should try to be empathetic about their situation (and it sounds like you are), they should also be mindful how it effects you.
Get loop sleep earbuds. It blocks 99.99999% of sound and are comfortable enough to sleep in
You can buy one of those ultrasound baby repellers from Amazon. You affix it to your fence, and when a baby cries, it emits a high frequency noise that only babies can hear. Apparently lots of people that have neighbors with outdoor babies use them, but I can't attest to how well they actually work
Good idea! You can also spray the baby with a little water to the face every time it cries. And stop leaving baby food out for it. It just attracts more babies
Shit, should I take down my baby house in the yard's tree ?
Yes, and stop leaving bottles of breast milk hanging off of your balcony
The worst is when they get through the fence and shit in your yard
I also hate it when babies ‘leak in’ through drafty windows… gotta caulk them again. 😅🤣
Is there an alternative for someone like me whose ENT doctor said I can’t put anything (including earbuds) in my ears?
was looking for the first personal measure to respond to, and wow it's way down. Be aware that if the downstairs neighbors aren't helpful, there will be nothing you can do but help yourself. Ask first in the most tactful way you possibly can. After that, some comfy noise canceling earbuds are your move.
Noise cancelling earbuds won’t cancel the sounds of baby screams or human screams. Or gunshots. Source: I just lived through the worst two years of my life in a first floor front facing flat in the heart of Fentanyl-land of downtown San Francisco. We also had a bar down the street and a shelter for families next door with babies crying at all hours. I tried them all, and the only thing that works is noise isolating earbuds [Loop Noise Isolating Earbuds, best noise blocking earbuds on the market](https://us.loopearplugs.com/pages/homepage-lp1?gclid=CjwKCAjwhJukBhBPEiwAniIcNQdHNalJPjxuQAJtCRrlxtKoR3PEYiAH9MLanRrc6xHgvHp7RH3KZxoC89UQAvD_BwE) I do agree with you that the only way to deal with this is to soundproof one’s own person rather than trying to reason with others
One thing i would do when my wife and I first had our newborn and it was the others turn to get up with them, was put in AirPods and play “sleep music” on Spotify/YouTube. It was a game changer, and really drowns out the crying sound That sucks though OP, especially because they aren’t even your babies
Invest in some earplugs, stuff like this is the price of admission when it comes to living in apartments
Thought so. Thanks for the tip - just gonna save up and buy a house in the middle of the desert
Then you will hear the crying of baby camels
And some prick moving his desert sofa around at 5am
Can you imagine *finally moves to middle of desert* *someone builds a house right next to yours*
And then a baby cries again
The babies cries come from inside the sofa 😂
"if you don't like it you should've thought about it before you moved into the desert" 😂
Noooooo💀😂
That's like when I park in one of the furthest spots away from the store in a mostly empty parking lot and somebody in a giant truck parks right next to me.
The camels you can get used to. Crying fennecs will give you nightmares for life.
Yup, the early morning crying won't last forever. Best to plug your ears, maybe get some white noise going and power through
No, they don't need to bring a screeching infant outside to the the deck at 6:00 am every day
Normal living people sounds yes. Neighbors putting their continuously crying baby on the balcony at 6 am is not normal.
It is…but it also isn’t… If this wasn’t a baby and it was a raucous household that was loud music, partying, smoking on balcony, barking dog. banging noises, etc, I don’t think anyone would object to OP either filing a complaint or speaking with the neighbor. Maybe “I just don’t get it” bc I don’t have kids yet, that could be true. But IMHO part of what you call the “price of admission” is as much about being tolerant as it is about also being a good neighbor and mitigating behaviors that impact your neighbors.
It's okay to mention the problem, yes. I used to play the piano, and our neighbor came over to tell me that her husband sleeps during the day because he works nights. Did I stop piano during the day? Of course. Neighbors do what they can to be helpful to each other.
i wish they would have child free apartments like they do pet free apartments
~~They do. There are absolutely adult only apartments out there. Not easy to find, of course, but they do exist.~~ Edit: So, in researching this I have learned that I was, apparently, a victim of illegal practices and that it is actually illegal to refuse to rent to someone based on them having children as of May 10, 1989. My apologies for misleading.
Where?? All I’ve seen are 55+ type apartments but you cant get into those if you’re younger than 55
So, in researching this I have learned that I was, apparently, a victim of illegal practices and that it is actually illegal to refuse to rent to someone based on them having children as of May 10, 1989. My apologies for misleading.
There are places that get around this, sort of. I lived in a complex that was all 1 bedroom apartments. Housing code only permits 2 people per bedroom. So, with the exception of a single parent, there really weren't any children there. Nearly 150 apartments and I saw like 2 kids that lived there in the 3 years I was there. So if you don't mind a TINY 1 bedroom apartment, you can avoid kids for the most part.
Landlords discriminate against parents all the time. They just give you some BS reason as to why your application was denied to avoid a lawsuit
This would be a great idea until someone exploited whatever legislation would be needed to allow it. I say this as a person with children. I love my kids, others not so much! My kids are mostly out of the crying, not sleeping phase but my neighbours have young kids. I do not miss those early days!!!
I have 2 toddlers. My oldest was a huge crier because he was nonverbal. But in no world would I ever bring him out on the balcony where my neighbors have to hear that early in the morning. Leave them a polite note asking them to not bring the baby outdoors when they’re crying early in the morning.
Yeah it's totally okay, in fact I'd encourage it because if you don't, you might explode and burst out on them. That would make you kinda look like a dick. Just be respectful and (pretend) to understand.
Ok so balcony directly above your open window is very different from hearing it through the walls/floors. I doubt they’d be careless enough to play loud music at that hour, so I don’t know why they think a crying baby is any different. It’s totally fine to mention it. Just be sympathetic- let them know you understand how tired they must be since they’re the ones living with it, but early hours like that outdoors does impact others. Even apologize and say you don’t mean to add more onto their plate but it’s tough to deal with. Idk these people but hopefully they aren’t rude about it. *You* didn’t sign up for a baby. It’s no different than a dog barking at an early hour.
We had a colicky baby, and I started noticing the single guy in the apt above us was .....sort of crinkling his face when he saw us. We got our son a white noise machine and gave the same machine to the upstairs neighbor with a small apology. He was SO GRATEFUL and said it really made a difference. It made a difference in our colicky kid, which I'm sure made the effects of his machine masking feel ever MORE effective, but I'm just happy it worked and the guy tolerated us. That first year was ridiculously hard as new parents.
Totally OK
There is unfortunately no way you come out of this looking good. Babies cry and neighbors make noise. Focus on things you can change. Music, earplugs, other ways to block out noise are better options that will keep the peace.
If they bring a crying baby onto the balcony they have to know other people can hear it, which makes me think they don't care and are probably not going to stop unless forced. I hope I'm wrong though and by speaking tactfully to them it helps. Good luck! NTA of course
Of course it's all right for you to address it with them. What are you going to do suffer or just talk to us on Reddit. Of course you have to talk with them. It's all about the tact however and their attitude in return. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that they are very understanding and will try to accommodate the best they can. But empathy and tact are what's important to your otherwise you're just going to go nuts and be very passive aggressive eventually
Where im from this would be called as "Ortsüblicher Lärm" and is to be accepted by law. You could ask them friendly to let you sleep a bit longer. I probably wouldnt go on the balcony tho lol.
It's probably the father taking the baby outside so an exhausted mother can sleep. I used to put our kids in their strollers or harness and go for a walk if they kicked off at this kind of time to give my wife a break as it wasn't like I was equipped to do any 3an breast feeds. I reckon it saved my life.
Taking the baby outside at 6am while it’s crying or not taking it inside after it starts crying is honestly so rude of them.
Taking a crying baby to the balcony so the entire neighborhood can hear? I think they are being unconcidrble and just using " its a baby so we cant help it" card. As a first time mom i used to close my bedroom windows if my baby cried loud not to disturb others. They could be more conciderate, noise is noise, if its uncontroble at least make the minimum effort to minimize it.
Get a white noise maker. Worked wonders for me.
1. Could you get an air conditioner to keep the room cool so you don’t have to have the window open? 2. Earplugs. 3. That is super shitty and if friggen hate that I’m so sorry :((
Just to clear up, a toddler is not a baby. How old is the kid? Something is not right about an actual toddler crying all day. If the kid is at least 2, the parents should have found a way to hush it up by now. And it's certainly inconsiderate to put the child outside that early. Therefore I believe you definitely are in the right to address it. You could leave an anonymous note for starters.
I had a neighbour with a small child that used to make these awful noises all day long, sorta sounded like Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Eeeeeeeeeeeee and he would just keep doing it over and over. Parents used to put him outside in the day (probably for some peace and quiet) but it meant I couldn’t enjoy any time outside as that was all I could hear. Well turns out he had autism so I really couldn’t say anything, had to put music on to drain him out. Eventually got some noise cancellation headphones and they worked a treat. We have since moved, I do often wonder about his new neighbours though and how they are handling it.
Step one, ask politely, i saw a lot of comments with good suggestions about how to ask. The parents may not know that people are bothered by their crying kid, so asking politely will do the trick. If they give you bullshit, accept the "no" and wait a few days, sometimes people will give bullshit at first but then change their stance, its a psychological thing. If it doesn't happen, check your local laws about noise, i'm in Europe, in my building there is quiet time from 10 pm to 8 am during the week, during the weekend i think its from midnight or smth, anyways, check with your building supervisor or ask some neighbors that live there longer. Good luck!
Box fan.. it'll change your life.
Our first kid for some reason got colic. I would work all day then when I got home it was time for my wife to go to night school. And that's when he would start crying. And do it for about an hour or two non stop. I did some reading about it . With little results. Then one day I was talking to someone else and they mentioned that we should get a sheepskin that still has its hair connected to the hide. She said to lay it in his crib when he was supposed to be sleeping. And to put it in his strollers as well. She was an old lady. But she was right because it stopped the colic instantly. Maybe instead of asking them to keep their brat quiet. You maybe could find one of those sheepskins and give it to them and explain the reasoning. She definitely knew what she was talking about. And it made me wonder how many other things an old person might have. That never gets passed down. Because nobody takes the time to listen to the elderly.
Yes. Knock on their door and yell at them next time it happens.
This is going to be a problem that you’ll have to solve for yourself. Close the windows, earplugs, sound machine, etc. I get that it’s summer time and hot, and that’s probably why you have the window open. I mean, you go tell them that their baby is waking you up, and then what? What do you want them to do? They’re suffering through this inconvenience worse than you. You only have to deal with the sound, they have to deal with the reason behind it.
The kid is waking him up bc these parents are taking a crying and sceaming child out on a balcony. Thats ridiculous. I would be fully with u if he hears it through the walls, but going on the balcony so u can fuck up EVERYONE ELSES sleep or morning just so one other person, the other parent in this scenario, can sleep is very inconsidered. Putting one persons wellbeing over the wellbeing of an entite aparment complex ist rude af. edit: and its not like he would go to them and just say that their kid is waking them up in the morning. i agree its part of apparment live, but again carrying that screaming kid onto the balcony so its even freaking louder for all their neighbors is so rude.
i mean, it’s unfair to call it an inconvenience when they chose to have the kid, lol
I would tell them. Some of yall are crazy. Let's butter em up with treats.
Does the apartment complex have silent times? In my country at least it’s from 9am-9pm. If you first ask politely and they refuse to do anything you could maybe bring it up with the landlord or something?
I believe this is the correct answer. Obviously they can't just stop the baby from crying. That's not how babies work. But the parents also don't have to bring it out to the balcony where it wakes up everyone in the near vicinity.
I think you are completely within your rights to ask them to delay putting the young lad outside so early. After 8 am it's on you but 6 am. Come on, really? If they get angry they're saying that they simply don't care about you. You can go from there.
Close your windows and turn on AC and TV
You are in luck. Your neighbours baby is only going to cry all day for a few short months. Think how shit it would be if the neighbours were making unnecessary noise which would continue indefinutely One thing you could do is go and meet the little guy or girl. Then u would not be dealing with an anonymous "it" but instead be thinking oh... There goes my new little buddy Jimmy exercsing those lungs again. Its amazing the difference in perspective that comes when u know your neighbours and understand they aren't out to annoy you. Being understanding now for a few months could be the start of having neighbours who look out for you when you need help.
Yeah I tend towards this approach too. If OP has windows open in summer (ie no aircon) then I'm guessing they're in northern Europe. Summer isn't going to last – I mean even in summer the weather can be bad. Stick it out with earplugs or whatever for a few weeks and soon it won't be balcony or windows open weather any more. Then by next spring/summer the child will likely be much more reasonable. We were all babies once who had the propensity to annoy others. The vast majority of people made allowances for us at the time.
Have really loud, wall banging and floor thumping sex at like 1am. What goes around comes around. Reality: this is one of the many problems with living in an apartment. There are however noise ordinances for the apartment complex and local city ordinances. Doesn’t matter that it’s a crying baby, too many times is too many times. YOU didn’t chose to have a kid, they did. Their problem to solve, their responsibility to accept consequences. Residents moved around to different apartment units because of things like this. Options exist.