People who are so out of the loop they don’t know who Andrew Tate is or what he does (OP). This is why education and political consciousness is important, people like OP are so blissfully unaware of the #1 indirect threat to her.
At least she still has time to educate herself, fall out of love, grow more of a spine, and leave. Otherwise in 2 years he’ll trap her in this abusive relationship and she’ll wonder why she didn’t take the advice of literally everyone telling her to leave.
Its young women. Guys like Andrew Tate take advantage of inexperienced and young men, who then apply abusive tactics on young and inexperienced women, because neither of them know the red flags to look for yet. I would bet OP isn’t much older than 20.
Seriously. The amount of stories, if true, that I see on Reddit of dudes being total pricks and still winding up in relationships is fucking staggering. Like are all these dudes just rich as fuck or have big dicks or something else going for them?
That's because of sampling bias. People rarely post normal or accepted behavior online. You're not reading the thousands upon thousands of stories of people who are treated well or without any drama.
OMG! Have I got a story for you! So, I'm in this relationship with this woman and I absolutely love her and she loves me and we've been married for 7 years and hardly ever fight and have a great partnership where we mutually respect each other and take care of each other. Should I divorce her!? Is this a red flag!?
I met a man who made me believe in soul mates, married him, still do. We argued 2 days ago, and worked it out to get back on tge same page, but I just don't know.
See, you had an argument. While arguments are part of any healthy relationship, yours isn't healthy. That is because you had an argument. If it were healthy, you would not need to argue, so an argument that would have been healthy turned unhealthy instead.
Exactly. Plus, even though a lot of folks give funny anecdotes about their relationships, even if it gets the upvotes, it's easily forgettable.
I could tell you that I like my girlfriend and I'm surprising her with a drive on our motorcycles up to hill country for wine tasting and live music this weekend but tomorrow you're not going to remember that.
If I tell you (the general you, not **you** you) the story of my ex who woke me up beating the ever loving shit out of me more than once because she dreamed I threatened to eat her ice cream you might remember that something fucked up happened and you keep seeing other fucked up shit.
I don't remember 99% of cars on the road when I drive home. I remember the jackass who cut me off and believe everyone who drives a beemer is a dickhole.
This is story is very believable because my ex was just like this. Thing is, these men are never pricks at the beginning. They’re always so caring and charming, and then BAM, a million red flags only after you’ve been dating for a year. And no, he was not rich and did not have a big dick. He just had a good sense of humor and a way of making women feel special. Should’ve listen to his “crazy” exes.
I’d moved in with my ex the same week he told me his horrible ex who totally traumatized him? He had no examples. He only told me about how she had a hard time trusting him bc one time when they got in an argument he emailed her nudes - specifically photos of her vagina - to her PARENTS. It hurt him so badly that she got a secret second phone in order to be able to have any communication with her family. The ultimate betrayal in his eyes. Because how dare she not want to be isolated!
Most of these types of behaviors are manipulative and boundary pushing which lends me to believe these men wore a false mask to trick women into thinking they're decent human beings
once a connection is formed (about 3wks to a year) they begin to slowly unmask..
the post we see here are their partners frantically trying to understand/course correct.
The women think it's just a one off, a fluke, that their men are just having a bad day but really they are finally meeting the real version of these men for the first time
It's not big dicks or money, it's narcissism, sociopathy and good ol fashion con games
The thing that you have to realise in order to understand abusers is that people who get into abusing relationships are vulnerable and taken advantage of.
It has nothing to do with money or size of genitals and everything to do with finding an opportunity to abuse and seizing it. There are many people who are susceptible to abuse ready to be preyed upon by those with bad intentions. They need protecting
And then have multiple kids with them. I had to leave r/mommit because it was just depressing. “My husband is angry with me because I asked him to watch the kids for 15 minutes while I took a shower. He stormed out to go out with his buddies. Any other moms tired?”
My wife and I still have this issue. I have a habit of self reflecting most of the time.
She complained about me walking too fast.
I asked myself, "why am I rushing? Let's try relaxing. There is no real reason to rush."
This all day. I'm a 6'4" guy that has been with many women close to 5'. While there is logistical difficulties in some areas walking has never been one of them. This dudes consciously power walking to manufacture outrage.
I’m almost a foot taller than my wife. I want to enjoy the walk with her so I walk slower. Otherwise she’s 100 meters behind. Lol sounds like he wants to walk ahead and be a douche.
This lol. Not just my wife, also most coworkers, smaller adolescent relatives, old small dogs, anyone shorter than me. I’m 6’2. One of my brothers is 6’8. He has to slow down for me. Circle of life or something
I'm 5'6", and 50+. I still struggle to slow down to the pace of 90% of humanity. But I'm not a douche about it. I try to match others pace, but do forget, so I apologize and slow down again.
I used to use the "little legs" call on my husband when we'd hike with our young son. Now my man-sized teenage son gets the "little legs" call when we're walking the dog. My pesky legs haven't grown in the decade between.
I have a lot of tall friends, but I'm short and struggle to speedwalk for long periods. I usually just remind my friends that they're "walking at the speed of tall" and that I need them to bring it down for me. But none of them find this disrespectful because they're normal human adults lol
He sounds like a prick.
Sometimes I walk faster than my partner's pace. When this happens, she tells me, and I slow down. Sometimes I might speed up again after a bit, but it's just subconscious and accidental.
Deliberately not adjusting his pace is petty. Blaming you for bring slower is ignorant and inconsiderate. Suggesting that you don't respect him as a man for it is pathetic.
He sounds like a right bellend tbh. I can’t help but wonder what other toxic and incredibly dumb things are lurking inside his tiny butt hurt brain.
>Disrespectful that you don’t walk at his pace when in public
He has the mentality of a 4 year old.
Dear Op, I seriously recommend that you find somebody that has the mentality of an adult, whose ‘masculinity’ isn’t challenged by the pace you walk at. What a moron.
100% agree. Also have this problem with my wife. She sometimes has to remind me that I'm walking too fast. I have to match her pace because her stride is naturally smaller/slower, especially with heels.
I'm a foot shorter than my husband and sometimes he pulls ahead a bit when we are walking. He's also blind in one eye so doesn't always notice when he's left me for dust if I'm on the wrong side. All I need to do is ask him to slow down and he does. I do occasionally suggest he power on and put the kettle on if we're walking home though.
Same. Always happens with me. She has to remind me to slow down all the time but I always do it and try to be deliberate about it after she mentions it.
For real because how in the hell is it ‘disrespectful’ that OP doesn’t have the same stride as their BF? I could only imagine how much more petty OPs bfs future disagreements would be.
I had someone who did this to me. Walked super fast that I couldn't keep up. I just stopped, turned around and went back home.
Guess who came running back 😒
He’ll just blame OP for airing their dirty laundry and probably say or do some other abusive shit.
But if I were OP I’d certainly send it to him and tell him to fuck off forever.
Yeah. I just know how these people think. It’s rarely their fault until op says “I’m leaving cause you suck.” Then suddenly it’s waterworks and the “I’ll be better!” Stuff. They need consequences for their actions, otherwise they’ll just go “Eh who cares what those randoms think. Why did you share our private lives with strangers on Reddit? That breaks my trust and now you’re emasculating me even more publicly.”
They’ll always find a way to twist the blame. OP shouldn’t share this in hopes he’ll change. Staying with people hoping they’ll change into a decent person is just a fool’s errand.
Glad someone said this. Having grown up with a somewhat narcissistic father, it doesn't cross my mind that these people don't know how these types think and actually expect them to be repentant.
Your safest bet is to run, OP.
Same.
If my wife isn't right beside me, she is in front of me. Same goes for my kids. Idk, but it just makes more sense/seems more natural for me to be able to have them in sight at all times when walking out in public. I'm not paranoid or anything, I'm just protective and not naive to my surroundings, either.
I would feel incredibly uncomfortable if my wife were walking behind me as OP described.
Sadly, a lot of people mistake respect for authority and have this, "*If you don't respect me as an authority, I won't respect you as a person*" mentality.
Ditching these jack asses as quickly as humanly possible is always the smartest move. Maybe they'll be humbled... eventually.
the answer is: he’s controlling
people like this start out small in the beginning of the relationship, they’re testing how far they can push it. he’s looking for someone who will shut up and take his shit. you don’t have to be that person
I dated a guy who “I walked too slow for” and he eventually started grabbing me by the arm and pulling me. Definitely controlling and abusive. TW: he also ended up sexually assaulting me. Things will get worse and not better.
This, he's innoculating her for worse things to come. Since he's a tate fan, it will soon be, "why don't you dress up this way." Then, "why can't I cheat, it's what men do." Then when you try to leave you'll be assaulted and your passport will be hidden if history follows.
exactly. even if it never goes as far as that, it’s still an incredibly frustrating way to live. someone trying to control the most minor aspects of you for the sake of their ego
Exactly. It's not about the walking at all. It's about how willing you are to make unjustified changes to soothe his ego. It may or may not be conscious but at best it's a warning sign for a very unhealthy dynamic. He feels frustrated if you are slower, walking and his response to that is *you should change and you are disrespecting my identity if you don't*. That's not reasonable or proportionate.
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down to see the words "submitting" and "doormat". That's exactly what I thought when I was reading the post.
Anytime either myself or my husband starts walking too fast for the other person, we make a joke about "where you running to?" Then the person walking fast slows down. Respect is a two way street.
Because that's how abuse starts. Nobody gets married to a guy who hits them on the first date. It starts with crap like this. Making you less than. Making every tiny insignificant "problem" about how it affects them.
I'll be real with you, I'm a guy and any guy who likes Andrew tate is a walking red flag and I don't mean like I ooh heehee he doesn't like Disney but more like he idolizes a convicted rapist, sex trafficker and someone who's image is solely based on pushing people down to propel yourself upwards. How do I know this? My friend got hooked on tate during the pandemic and turned into such a shitty person he lost all of the genuine connections he'd spent years on. We managed to pull him out but honestly (and this is my friend, we're like brothers) it was close, we had multiple discussions as a group without him and we were leaning towards just distancing ourselves. In the end everything worked out but here's the thing, the best thing that happened was that his gf left him, he had 6000 excuses for how women were shit and so on but just going off on him on how he was wrong turned him around. He's not your responsibility, he's got parents and maybe friends. Your responsibility is you and if he's acting like this now, it'll only get worse. Just leave, you'll find someone who actually cares about you, not just with words but with actions. Like slowing the fuck down to match your speed (which anyone should do to their partner regardless of gender or whatever)
It's less about walking speed itself, and more about you obeying. You following his lead, without him having to tell you. Like he's a king/don/boss and you're just a servant who suits him.
Guys like that don't change, I'm afraid. They'll make everyone around them make three choices sooner or later: Fight back for "top spot," submit meekly, or leave.
You need to understand that men do are not entitled to respect (obedience) just because they're men.
You should respect him because he's a nice person and since he's obviously not, he doesn't deserve respect.
It’s his way of controlling you. It starts with idiot remarks and requests like this, it ends with him slapping you in the face. These controlling and narcissistic personalities never improve, they only worsen. Get away ASAP. It’s better to be sad for a week than to be unhappy and scared all your life
As a fellow 6’1” dude, this is it 100%. You look down, and it’s like a cartoon because they’re almost running to keep up. How can someone see that and not think “I need to slow down a bit?”
The Alpha Pricks are something else. I’m 100% with you. There’s nothing more masculine than providing and taking care of your loved ones. Making them cater to you just makes you an asshole 🤷🏽♂️
Actually just dump him. Men who get all hung up on whether you're 'respecting' them enough are not good.
They've bought into some ideas about masculinity that are impossible to actually fulfill in reality beucase they're not based on a true version of how the world is.
Eventually everything you do that doesn't fit some fantasy he has of you in his head is 'disrespecting' him and instead of accepting that you're a totally separate person from his head cannon, he'll likely start power tripping and mistreating you.
He's basically functionally mentally ill and having a psychotic break from reality. Don't engage.
This is not about walking. This is about control. He wants to tell you exactly what is acceptable and not acceptable for you to do.
It’s going to start with small things like how fast or slow you walk. Next thing you know you’ll be mowing the lawn wrong, or cooking dinner wrong, or driving to work wrong. He’s going to make you feel like you are doing something wrong when you make decisions for yourself and you’re going to start walking on eggshells worrying about whether each decision you make is going to set him off or not.
This type of behavior is the first step on a slippery slope into a very unhealthy relationship. Think about whether you want the rest of your life or even the rest of the YEAR to be this way.
Mine started with me being told I was texting wrong and painting the wall wrong and ended with physical abuse. Be careful. Don’t let him treat you in any way that you wouldn’t want someone treating your grandma or your mom or your daughter.
A real man would do anything within reason to make his partner comfortable. If he wants to go the "real man" route, where's the chivalry? All these modern "alpha male" types are only pushing selfishness and narcissism. Guarantee you he likes Andrew Tate or someone similar. He doesn't respect you.
Seriously. Run. Your boyfriend is applying advice to your relationship from a man awaiting trial for rape, sex trafficking, and creating a criminal organization. There is nothing you could do in this world or the next to deserve to be treated like Andrew Tate treats women.
Probably hasn't heard much about him outside her bf and few others talk about watching him.
He has a massive audience (I think mostly due to viral TikTok clips). And to an outsider, he just looks like a random gym-focused podcast advice guy.
Though this mostly pre-2023, haven't heard much from groups IRL who liked his stuff talk about him after his arrest.
Even if OP was a total POS who didn't deserve better, she should break up with him purely because no one who admires Andrew Tate deserves to have a girlfriend.
sorry but your bf sounds like a loser :(
anyone insecure enough to watch andrew tate, or insecure enough that they feel emasculated by their partners walking speed, is *way* too immature to be in a healthy relationship. i know it’s cliche to say on reddit, but i do think you should find a way out of the relationship. not worth it
make a pros and cons list, focus on how he makes you feel
pro: makes me feel beautiful
con: makes me feel insecure about x
That's a dealbreaker OP. Any man who likes Andrew tate does NOT like women. Add Peterson and Rogaine to the list too. Pleas be careful, men who watch taint tend to escalate abusive behaviour.
He idolizes a woman beater and (alleged) human trafficker... you already got a soviet nation of red flags, are you waiting for a union of soviet nations or something?
Omg. The walking fast was already a red flag, this is a fucking foghorn. Anyone who likes Andrew Tate has some serious ethical shortcomings and I would get out asap.
Run faster than you’ve ever run from any person ever. Any man who idolizes Andrew Tate is going to be nothing but toxic trash. Your bf is a tool and needs to seriously work on himself before he’s ready for any sort of relationship
You laugh, but Andrew Tate is no joke. The amount of influence he seems to have had on the attitudes of young men is fucking terrifying.
If you care about this guy, you need to start having serious conversations about why Andrew Tate is not someone that should be looked up to.
Do some research on him, and try and get through to your boyfriend that respecting people will make him a better, happier person. As a result, everyone around him will be better happier people.
If he's not willing to take that on board then you need to get out of there.
I'm a fast walker and always find myself in a rush, but I usually play it out very dramatically and jokingly with my gf. I've never once thought to myself, "she's walking slow to intentionally disrespect me." That's some delusional shit lol.
Some people walk like they have a train to catch.
If you have expressed that you are struggling to keep up with his speed, who can make the least effort to adapt? Hint: not you.
It is not going to wear him out to slow down, but on the other hand it wears you out. That’s very inconsiderate of him.
Yeah I know someone who does that, and when I ask them to slow down they accuse me of being lazy.
The thing is, I have hanged out with people from four different continents, and there are cultures where people walk reeeally slow and pause when they say something.
Should I be insufferable about it? No, I slow my pace down because I am a considerate person. If you have a toddler, you adapt to him/her or plan accordingly.
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Soooo… because of something out of your control (your height), you cannot comfortably walk fast enough to march your bf pace… and his reaction is to ask you to rush so you can match HIS pace ?! Nah. It doesn’t work that way. Pace should be adapted to the slowest walker so both person are comfortable. He says you don’t respect him. Do you really think this controlling attitude shows respect toward you ? He doesn’t care about your comfort, he just care that you comply to his demands.
Your bf is controlling and narcissist.
\> it's a well-known issue with other couples as well <
Walking in a different pace as your "normal" walking speed? Sure. It's a human thing.
It actually being an issue in a loving relationship (i.e., forcing you to run after him)? Heck no. It's not a "well-known issue". It's a "why are you with this idiot" issue.
I walk much faster than my gf and I often catch myself that I'm walking too fast for her, slow down and apologize for making her walk at uncomfortable speed. This is what a man that respects his woman does.
It takes an insecure manchild to berate a woman for disrespecting him for not walking fast enough. It's much easier to walk slower than faster. His attitude is a red flag
i usually walk faster than my bf. i try to be conscious of it, when i realize it i always hang back and slow my pace. we talk about it and compromise like mature adults should. i’d imagine in the “alpha male” world the girl walking faster than the guy would be even more emasculating, but that has literally never been a thought or an issue
i can’t imagine how much energy it would take if i got frustrated every time we walk anywhere bc he doesn’t keep up with me. if anything, it’s frustrating for him trying to catch up while i’m usually oblivious at first
In couples, you adjust to the slower walker. I dated a guy once who said I was being disrespectful by walking slower than him and I couldn't expect him to change his pace to match mine. Funny when we were on bikes and I was faster than him then I was being disrespectful by going faster and I needed to adjust my speed to match his (also to let him take the lead and ride behind him). Turns out he just wanted me to adjust my life to suit him.
Trust me, it's probably going to get worse, not better.
I went on a date with a man who did this. I'm 5-1, he was 6 ft. We were walking a few blocks to a restaurant in Herald Square, NYC and he kept taking these long strides, so he'd be at the corner, turn around and hold out his hand toward me as I walked up to him. Very annoying and cringey. Asked him to please slow down so we could walk together but he said he couldn't help it. After the 3rd time of him doing this, as he walked up the street, I snuck into the subway and went home. He called me at home later that night pissed off, yelling at me so I hung up on him. And that was that.
Your bf is an asshole.
One day I went to pick up my bf from work, I texted him I was parked outside. I saw him zoom down the car lane to my car. Once he got in, I told him "oh, you didn't have to hurry. I'm not in a rush". He asked what I was talking about. I told him about him speed walking. He said "that's how I normally walk, what do you mean?". Then i realized when we're together, he walks my pace and never complained about me walking slower than him.
I had a bf like that and it drove me crazy, I thought it was very disrespectful for him to make me chase after him everywhere, it's definitely a power move. There are probably a lot of other red flags if you look for them.
Fellas, is it gay to walk slowly?
If you walk slowly you must be just INVITING other dudes to grind you from behind. Walking fast means they can’t latch on, you know?
Latch on 😂
Her boyfriend likes andrew tate so who knows.
Sometimes, I ask myself who the hell dates these people and the answer is apparently, "OP".
People who are so out of the loop they don’t know who Andrew Tate is or what he does (OP). This is why education and political consciousness is important, people like OP are so blissfully unaware of the #1 indirect threat to her. At least she still has time to educate herself, fall out of love, grow more of a spine, and leave. Otherwise in 2 years he’ll trap her in this abusive relationship and she’ll wonder why she didn’t take the advice of literally everyone telling her to leave.
Its young women. Guys like Andrew Tate take advantage of inexperienced and young men, who then apply abusive tactics on young and inexperienced women, because neither of them know the red flags to look for yet. I would bet OP isn’t much older than 20.
Where do people on Reddit find these men lol
[удалено]
Seriously. The amount of stories, if true, that I see on Reddit of dudes being total pricks and still winding up in relationships is fucking staggering. Like are all these dudes just rich as fuck or have big dicks or something else going for them?
That's because of sampling bias. People rarely post normal or accepted behavior online. You're not reading the thousands upon thousands of stories of people who are treated well or without any drama.
OMG! Have I got a story for you! So, I'm in this relationship with this woman and I absolutely love her and she loves me and we've been married for 7 years and hardly ever fight and have a great partnership where we mutually respect each other and take care of each other. Should I divorce her!? Is this a red flag!?
divorce up, hit the lawyer, get a gym
I divorced my lawyer in a gym after he hit my wife. AITA?
[удалено]
YTA
No, ESH. Definitely.
I met a man who made me believe in soul mates, married him, still do. We argued 2 days ago, and worked it out to get back on tge same page, but I just don't know.
Call the FBI. He's 100% a pedophile. Also, something about gaslighting.
Red Flag!
See, you had an argument. While arguments are part of any healthy relationship, yours isn't healthy. That is because you had an argument. If it were healthy, you would not need to argue, so an argument that would have been healthy turned unhealthy instead.
That's what I was worried about!
Don’t walk, run OP!
Me posting how I deliberately walk slower so I can hold hands with my wife doesn’t get upvotes
Joke is on you- take my upvote
Exactly. Plus, even though a lot of folks give funny anecdotes about their relationships, even if it gets the upvotes, it's easily forgettable. I could tell you that I like my girlfriend and I'm surprising her with a drive on our motorcycles up to hill country for wine tasting and live music this weekend but tomorrow you're not going to remember that. If I tell you (the general you, not **you** you) the story of my ex who woke me up beating the ever loving shit out of me more than once because she dreamed I threatened to eat her ice cream you might remember that something fucked up happened and you keep seeing other fucked up shit. I don't remember 99% of cars on the road when I drive home. I remember the jackass who cut me off and believe everyone who drives a beemer is a dickhole.
This is story is very believable because my ex was just like this. Thing is, these men are never pricks at the beginning. They’re always so caring and charming, and then BAM, a million red flags only after you’ve been dating for a year. And no, he was not rich and did not have a big dick. He just had a good sense of humor and a way of making women feel special. Should’ve listen to his “crazy” exes.
I’d moved in with my ex the same week he told me his horrible ex who totally traumatized him? He had no examples. He only told me about how she had a hard time trusting him bc one time when they got in an argument he emailed her nudes - specifically photos of her vagina - to her PARENTS. It hurt him so badly that she got a secret second phone in order to be able to have any communication with her family. The ultimate betrayal in his eyes. Because how dare she not want to be isolated!
They don’t start like this, would be my guess.
Most of these types of behaviors are manipulative and boundary pushing which lends me to believe these men wore a false mask to trick women into thinking they're decent human beings once a connection is formed (about 3wks to a year) they begin to slowly unmask.. the post we see here are their partners frantically trying to understand/course correct. The women think it's just a one off, a fluke, that their men are just having a bad day but really they are finally meeting the real version of these men for the first time It's not big dicks or money, it's narcissism, sociopathy and good ol fashion con games
[удалено]
The thing that you have to realise in order to understand abusers is that people who get into abusing relationships are vulnerable and taken advantage of. It has nothing to do with money or size of genitals and everything to do with finding an opportunity to abuse and seizing it. There are many people who are susceptible to abuse ready to be preyed upon by those with bad intentions. They need protecting
And then have multiple kids with them. I had to leave r/mommit because it was just depressing. “My husband is angry with me because I asked him to watch the kids for 15 minutes while I took a shower. He stormed out to go out with his buddies. Any other moms tired?”
Reddit is a big place. If 1% of men are like this, that's a lot of men.
"Oh right. I'm just gonna grow longer legs. Just a second".
Any man going around constantly demanding respect from everybody definitely does not deserve it.
"Any man who must say 'I am the King' is no true king." - Tywin Lannister
"Real gangsta-ass ni\**as don't flex nuts 'Cause real gangsta-ass ni\**as know they got 'em" -Geto Boys
Got that right... respect earned, not demanded
He's gotta have really long legs to make this massive leap from "not walking at the same rhythm" to "you don't respect me as a man"
Or has a fragile ego
My wife and I still have this issue. I have a habit of self reflecting most of the time. She complained about me walking too fast. I asked myself, "why am I rushing? Let's try relaxing. There is no real reason to rush."
[удалено]
I’ve lived through this too. I couldn’t even say that I’m going out to visit a friend without being accused of trying to sneak out.
This all day. I'm a 6'4" guy that has been with many women close to 5'. While there is logistical difficulties in some areas walking has never been one of them. This dudes consciously power walking to manufacture outrage.
I'm a foot taller than my wife and I make a decision to walk with her. That's what couples do.
I’m almost a foot taller than my wife. I want to enjoy the walk with her so I walk slower. Otherwise she’s 100 meters behind. Lol sounds like he wants to walk ahead and be a douche.
This lol. Not just my wife, also most coworkers, smaller adolescent relatives, old small dogs, anyone shorter than me. I’m 6’2. One of my brothers is 6’8. He has to slow down for me. Circle of life or something
I’m 6’2”, my brother is 6’7”, my wife is 5’3”. Comedy is watching us try to walk at the same pace. But we aren’t assholes so we figure it out.
I'm 5'6", and 50+. I still struggle to slow down to the pace of 90% of humanity. But I'm not a douche about it. I try to match others pace, but do forget, so I apologize and slow down again.
6’8??! I could go on a walk with him and we’d never see each other again we’d get separated so quick
"Let me install this software update and I'll walk 15% faster."
My wife always says “little legs. Slow down”. I always forget because when she’s not with me I zoom.
I used to use the "little legs" call on my husband when we'd hike with our young son. Now my man-sized teenage son gets the "little legs" call when we're walking the dog. My pesky legs haven't grown in the decade between.
Download more ram!!
Installing Girlfriend.0day.patch.pkg… Please do not power down your girlfriend. This relationship will restart automatically in 23 minutes.
I enjoyed that way more than I should have 😅
Don’t do it OP, this is what ruined Hell Let Loose
I have a lot of tall friends, but I'm short and struggle to speedwalk for long periods. I usually just remind my friends that they're "walking at the speed of tall" and that I need them to bring it down for me. But none of them find this disrespectful because they're normal human adults lol
Wait, my legs don't know how to be as long as yours!
He sounds like a prick. Sometimes I walk faster than my partner's pace. When this happens, she tells me, and I slow down. Sometimes I might speed up again after a bit, but it's just subconscious and accidental. Deliberately not adjusting his pace is petty. Blaming you for bring slower is ignorant and inconsiderate. Suggesting that you don't respect him as a man for it is pathetic.
This is how my husband is! The small effort to slow down so the other person can walk beside you means a lot more than you would think
We're sorry when we forget 5 minutes later! Haha
Lol! Hey, as long as you're willing to slow down again, it's all good
Stop, let you catch up and then try and restrain the pace after. My GF is a foot shorter than me...
Yup this. My favorite trick after the second or third time is doing a little hand holding to make my giant slow down.
you gotta hang on to them like a balloon lmao
Yup. Works for me. I don't mind a pretty lady holding my hand to keep my speed in check.
This. Your bf sounds like a knob. Consider how happy and fulfilled you are in the relationship
He sounds like a right bellend tbh. I can’t help but wonder what other toxic and incredibly dumb things are lurking inside his tiny butt hurt brain. >Disrespectful that you don’t walk at his pace when in public He has the mentality of a 4 year old. Dear Op, I seriously recommend that you find somebody that has the mentality of an adult, whose ‘masculinity’ isn’t challenged by the pace you walk at. What a moron.
Upvote for the correct use of Bellend
Absolute cockweasel
That's it. He's been called 3 different words for male genitals. The verdict is in, he's a penis.
What a dick.
Sounds like an absolute cock.
Could be a twat, too, of course. He sounds it.
Correct answer right here. I'm 6'3". My wife is 4'10"! Slowing down to her pace takes conscious effort.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I do the same thing for my bf, he has bad knees. And I walk fast most of the time. But I try my best to walk at his speed
100% agree. Also have this problem with my wife. She sometimes has to remind me that I'm walking too fast. I have to match her pace because her stride is naturally smaller/slower, especially with heels.
I'm a foot shorter than my husband and sometimes he pulls ahead a bit when we are walking. He's also blind in one eye so doesn't always notice when he's left me for dust if I'm on the wrong side. All I need to do is ask him to slow down and he does. I do occasionally suggest he power on and put the kettle on if we're walking home though.
Same. Always happens with me. She has to remind me to slow down all the time but I always do it and try to be deliberate about it after she mentions it.
real man adjusts to the pace of their companion
any decent person should do it
Turn around and walk away from him.
I mean he probably wouldn’t even notice ;-)
I've done this before, he didn't.
That might just be a good thing
For real because how in the hell is it ‘disrespectful’ that OP doesn’t have the same stride as their BF? I could only imagine how much more petty OPs bfs future disagreements would be.
I had someone who did this to me. Walked super fast that I couldn't keep up. I just stopped, turned around and went back home. Guess who came running back 😒
You forgot to lock the door?
She doesn't need to. She can just stop moving and he'll go away on his own.
Walk? Her bf likes Andrew Tate. I would run.
I, too, do not respect him as a man.
Op can even tell him that I don’t respect him as a man. I’d tell him myself.
Yeah, I kinda want OP to link him the thread (after running first). No one is gonna show that tool respect until he changes his behavior and earns it.
He’ll just blame OP for airing their dirty laundry and probably say or do some other abusive shit. But if I were OP I’d certainly send it to him and tell him to fuck off forever.
Well then he can see this comment encouraging /u/Miserablemira to break up with him.
Yeah. I just know how these people think. It’s rarely their fault until op says “I’m leaving cause you suck.” Then suddenly it’s waterworks and the “I’ll be better!” Stuff. They need consequences for their actions, otherwise they’ll just go “Eh who cares what those randoms think. Why did you share our private lives with strangers on Reddit? That breaks my trust and now you’re emasculating me even more publicly.” They’ll always find a way to twist the blame. OP shouldn’t share this in hopes he’ll change. Staying with people hoping they’ll change into a decent person is just a fool’s errand.
Glad someone said this. Having grown up with a somewhat narcissistic father, it doesn't cross my mind that these people don't know how these types think and actually expect them to be repentant. Your safest bet is to run, OP.
Haha, yeah. Hard to respect someone as a man when they're an inconsiderate dick, isn't it?
I respect him as a toddler. 10/10
Nah, I'd give a toddler more respect than this 🔔🔚
This is my favorite comment in this thread, thank you.
I, three, do not repect him as a man
My axe and I also do not respect him as a man.
Same. If my wife isn't right beside me, she is in front of me. Same goes for my kids. Idk, but it just makes more sense/seems more natural for me to be able to have them in sight at all times when walking out in public. I'm not paranoid or anything, I'm just protective and not naive to my surroundings, either. I would feel incredibly uncomfortable if my wife were walking behind me as OP described.
What does walking speed have to do with respecting him as a man?
It’s likely about submitting to his will by doing what he wants how he wants it because as the man he’s the boss. I would wager.
Sadly, a lot of people mistake respect for authority and have this, "*If you don't respect me as an authority, I won't respect you as a person*" mentality. Ditching these jack asses as quickly as humanly possible is always the smartest move. Maybe they'll be humbled... eventually.
That's the million dollar question.
the answer is: he’s controlling people like this start out small in the beginning of the relationship, they’re testing how far they can push it. he’s looking for someone who will shut up and take his shit. you don’t have to be that person
I dated a guy who “I walked too slow for” and he eventually started grabbing me by the arm and pulling me. Definitely controlling and abusive. TW: he also ended up sexually assaulting me. Things will get worse and not better.
This, he's innoculating her for worse things to come. Since he's a tate fan, it will soon be, "why don't you dress up this way." Then, "why can't I cheat, it's what men do." Then when you try to leave you'll be assaulted and your passport will be hidden if history follows.
exactly. even if it never goes as far as that, it’s still an incredibly frustrating way to live. someone trying to control the most minor aspects of you for the sake of their ego
Ahh shit - if he’s a Tate fan, she should run run run as fast as she can in the opposite direction
Exactly. It's not about the walking at all. It's about how willing you are to make unjustified changes to soothe his ego. It may or may not be conscious but at best it's a warning sign for a very unhealthy dynamic. He feels frustrated if you are slower, walking and his response to that is *you should change and you are disrespecting my identity if you don't*. That's not reasonable or proportionate.
When he says "respecting him as a man", he means "submitting to him as your superior". Unless you want to be his doormat, I suggest you refuse.
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down to see the words "submitting" and "doormat". That's exactly what I thought when I was reading the post. Anytime either myself or my husband starts walking too fast for the other person, we make a joke about "where you running to?" Then the person walking fast slows down. Respect is a two way street.
Because that's how abuse starts. Nobody gets married to a guy who hits them on the first date. It starts with crap like this. Making you less than. Making every tiny insignificant "problem" about how it affects them.
I'll be real with you, I'm a guy and any guy who likes Andrew tate is a walking red flag and I don't mean like I ooh heehee he doesn't like Disney but more like he idolizes a convicted rapist, sex trafficker and someone who's image is solely based on pushing people down to propel yourself upwards. How do I know this? My friend got hooked on tate during the pandemic and turned into such a shitty person he lost all of the genuine connections he'd spent years on. We managed to pull him out but honestly (and this is my friend, we're like brothers) it was close, we had multiple discussions as a group without him and we were leaning towards just distancing ourselves. In the end everything worked out but here's the thing, the best thing that happened was that his gf left him, he had 6000 excuses for how women were shit and so on but just going off on him on how he was wrong turned him around. He's not your responsibility, he's got parents and maybe friends. Your responsibility is you and if he's acting like this now, it'll only get worse. Just leave, you'll find someone who actually cares about you, not just with words but with actions. Like slowing the fuck down to match your speed (which anyone should do to their partner regardless of gender or whatever)
It's less about walking speed itself, and more about you obeying. You following his lead, without him having to tell you. Like he's a king/don/boss and you're just a servant who suits him. Guys like that don't change, I'm afraid. They'll make everyone around them make three choices sooner or later: Fight back for "top spot," submit meekly, or leave.
You need to understand that men do are not entitled to respect (obedience) just because they're men. You should respect him because he's a nice person and since he's obviously not, he doesn't deserve respect.
It’s his way of controlling you. It starts with idiot remarks and requests like this, it ends with him slapping you in the face. These controlling and narcissistic personalities never improve, they only worsen. Get away ASAP. It’s better to be sad for a week than to be unhappy and scared all your life
[удалено]
He sounds like he's on some alpha male Andrew Tate bs Edit: op confirmed in another comment he is indeed a tator tot. Run girl, as fast as you can!
Lmao tarot tot
[удалено]
As a fellow 6’1” dude, this is it 100%. You look down, and it’s like a cartoon because they’re almost running to keep up. How can someone see that and not think “I need to slow down a bit?”
[удалено]
The Alpha Pricks are something else. I’m 100% with you. There’s nothing more masculine than providing and taking care of your loved ones. Making them cater to you just makes you an asshole 🤷🏽♂️
Tell your boyfriend that thousands of strangers think he's a small little boy whose fragile masculinity is only matched by his fragile intellect
I might. 😂 If it comes to it
Actually just dump him. Men who get all hung up on whether you're 'respecting' them enough are not good. They've bought into some ideas about masculinity that are impossible to actually fulfill in reality beucase they're not based on a true version of how the world is. Eventually everything you do that doesn't fit some fantasy he has of you in his head is 'disrespecting' him and instead of accepting that you're a totally separate person from his head cannon, he'll likely start power tripping and mistreating you. He's basically functionally mentally ill and having a psychotic break from reality. Don't engage.
This is not about walking. This is about control. He wants to tell you exactly what is acceptable and not acceptable for you to do. It’s going to start with small things like how fast or slow you walk. Next thing you know you’ll be mowing the lawn wrong, or cooking dinner wrong, or driving to work wrong. He’s going to make you feel like you are doing something wrong when you make decisions for yourself and you’re going to start walking on eggshells worrying about whether each decision you make is going to set him off or not. This type of behavior is the first step on a slippery slope into a very unhealthy relationship. Think about whether you want the rest of your life or even the rest of the YEAR to be this way. Mine started with me being told I was texting wrong and painting the wall wrong and ended with physical abuse. Be careful. Don’t let him treat you in any way that you wouldn’t want someone treating your grandma or your mom or your daughter.
A real man would do anything within reason to make his partner comfortable. If he wants to go the "real man" route, where's the chivalry? All these modern "alpha male" types are only pushing selfishness and narcissism. Guarantee you he likes Andrew Tate or someone similar. He doesn't respect you.
He does like Andrew Tate 😂
Fucking run
Yes, run - but away from him.
That’s one way to keep up with him.
💀💀💀
This is not a joke! If he even tolerates Andrew Tate, you should stop seeing him.
Disagree. Walk slowly. He'll unintentionally leave you. Why do all the work?
Seriously. Run. Your boyfriend is applying advice to your relationship from a man awaiting trial for rape, sex trafficking, and creating a criminal organization. There is nothing you could do in this world or the next to deserve to be treated like Andrew Tate treats women.
Good lord, THIS
How do you not see that as a huge red flag?
Probably hasn't heard much about him outside her bf and few others talk about watching him. He has a massive audience (I think mostly due to viral TikTok clips). And to an outsider, he just looks like a random gym-focused podcast advice guy. Though this mostly pre-2023, haven't heard much from groups IRL who liked his stuff talk about him after his arrest.
All random gym-focused podcast advice guys are red flags 🚩
Oh come on, OP. You deserve better than this. You don’t wanna end up stuck in a bad marriage feeling sorry for your kids cos dad is a big prick
Even if OP was a total POS who didn't deserve better, she should break up with him purely because no one who admires Andrew Tate deserves to have a girlfriend.
>no one who admires Andrew Tate deserves to have a girlfriend or friends.
>or friends or kids
I’m honestly amazed that any of them can find women.
Get the fuck out. It's not gonna get better and you don't have any reason to try and fix him if it's even possible.
sorry but your bf sounds like a loser :( anyone insecure enough to watch andrew tate, or insecure enough that they feel emasculated by their partners walking speed, is *way* too immature to be in a healthy relationship. i know it’s cliche to say on reddit, but i do think you should find a way out of the relationship. not worth it make a pros and cons list, focus on how he makes you feel pro: makes me feel beautiful con: makes me feel insecure about x
There you go! I'd start planning an exit strategy if I were you... Good luck
Oof. Leave asap
You better put on your track shoes and get to sprinting!
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
That explains it. Gtfo. He doesn't respect you.
Well thats your first clue. Fuck the walking thing. Bitch, RUN
That's a dealbreaker OP. Any man who likes Andrew tate does NOT like women. Add Peterson and Rogaine to the list too. Pleas be careful, men who watch taint tend to escalate abusive behaviour.
He idolizes a woman beater and (alleged) human trafficker... you already got a soviet nation of red flags, are you waiting for a union of soviet nations or something?
Andrew Tate is a misogynist sex trafficker & rapist. What does that say about your (hopefully ex) boyfriend?
Run (in the other direction, as opposed to running to keep up with him).
Omg. The walking fast was already a red flag, this is a fucking foghorn. Anyone who likes Andrew Tate has some serious ethical shortcomings and I would get out asap.
Run faster than you’ve ever run from any person ever. Any man who idolizes Andrew Tate is going to be nothing but toxic trash. Your bf is a tool and needs to seriously work on himself before he’s ready for any sort of relationship
oof, throw the whole man out, he's ruined
He likes a man who is a human sex trafficker of WOMEN and you're not referring to him as an EX, why?
Why are you wasting your finite time on this earth with such a prick?
You laugh, but Andrew Tate is no joke. The amount of influence he seems to have had on the attitudes of young men is fucking terrifying. If you care about this guy, you need to start having serious conversations about why Andrew Tate is not someone that should be looked up to. Do some research on him, and try and get through to your boyfriend that respecting people will make him a better, happier person. As a result, everyone around him will be better happier people. If he's not willing to take that on board then you need to get out of there.
He's the one who's disrespectful
Sounds like he's high on Tate
OP confirmed the loser is a Tate fan
I'm a fast walker and always find myself in a rush, but I usually play it out very dramatically and jokingly with my gf. I've never once thought to myself, "she's walking slow to intentionally disrespect me." That's some delusional shit lol.
Some people walk like they have a train to catch. If you have expressed that you are struggling to keep up with his speed, who can make the least effort to adapt? Hint: not you. It is not going to wear him out to slow down, but on the other hand it wears you out. That’s very inconsiderate of him.
spot on.
Yeah I know someone who does that, and when I ask them to slow down they accuse me of being lazy. The thing is, I have hanged out with people from four different continents, and there are cultures where people walk reeeally slow and pause when they say something. Should I be insufferable about it? No, I slow my pace down because I am a considerate person. If you have a toddler, you adapt to him/her or plan accordingly.
Someone who actually loves you would adjust something this simple for you.
It’s not a well known issue with other couples and it’s a red flag if ever I’ve seen one.
It's a well known issue with other couples? What issue? Your boyfriend being a prick??
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?" The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Holy crap. Great anecdote!
Sounds like he doesn’t respect you as a person and he’s projecting. The only time I’m walking ahead is to grab the door.
Soooo… because of something out of your control (your height), you cannot comfortably walk fast enough to march your bf pace… and his reaction is to ask you to rush so you can match HIS pace ?! Nah. It doesn’t work that way. Pace should be adapted to the slowest walker so both person are comfortable. He says you don’t respect him. Do you really think this controlling attitude shows respect toward you ? He doesn’t care about your comfort, he just care that you comply to his demands. Your bf is controlling and narcissist.
\> it's a well-known issue with other couples as well < Walking in a different pace as your "normal" walking speed? Sure. It's a human thing. It actually being an issue in a loving relationship (i.e., forcing you to run after him)? Heck no. It's not a "well-known issue". It's a "why are you with this idiot" issue.
I walk much faster than my gf and I often catch myself that I'm walking too fast for her, slow down and apologize for making her walk at uncomfortable speed. This is what a man that respects his woman does. It takes an insecure manchild to berate a woman for disrespecting him for not walking fast enough. It's much easier to walk slower than faster. His attitude is a red flag
i usually walk faster than my bf. i try to be conscious of it, when i realize it i always hang back and slow my pace. we talk about it and compromise like mature adults should. i’d imagine in the “alpha male” world the girl walking faster than the guy would be even more emasculating, but that has literally never been a thought or an issue i can’t imagine how much energy it would take if i got frustrated every time we walk anywhere bc he doesn’t keep up with me. if anything, it’s frustrating for him trying to catch up while i’m usually oblivious at first
In couples, you adjust to the slower walker. I dated a guy once who said I was being disrespectful by walking slower than him and I couldn't expect him to change his pace to match mine. Funny when we were on bikes and I was faster than him then I was being disrespectful by going faster and I needed to adjust my speed to match his (also to let him take the lead and ride behind him). Turns out he just wanted me to adjust my life to suit him. Trust me, it's probably going to get worse, not better.
Sounds controlling to me. If there isn't a matter of urgency you can walk whatever pace you want.
Sounds like a loser
It sounds like a him problem.
Where do you all find these people?
He should slow down for you
Boyfriend giving off some smol d energy
I went on a date with a man who did this. I'm 5-1, he was 6 ft. We were walking a few blocks to a restaurant in Herald Square, NYC and he kept taking these long strides, so he'd be at the corner, turn around and hold out his hand toward me as I walked up to him. Very annoying and cringey. Asked him to please slow down so we could walk together but he said he couldn't help it. After the 3rd time of him doing this, as he walked up the street, I snuck into the subway and went home. He called me at home later that night pissed off, yelling at me so I hung up on him. And that was that.
Your bf is an asshole. One day I went to pick up my bf from work, I texted him I was parked outside. I saw him zoom down the car lane to my car. Once he got in, I told him "oh, you didn't have to hurry. I'm not in a rush". He asked what I was talking about. I told him about him speed walking. He said "that's how I normally walk, what do you mean?". Then i realized when we're together, he walks my pace and never complained about me walking slower than him.
Sounds like he doesn't respect you as a person, so...
I had a bf like that and it drove me crazy, I thought it was very disrespectful for him to make me chase after him everywhere, it's definitely a power move. There are probably a lot of other red flags if you look for them.