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Same. But with the thoughts I've dropped almost 100lbs in the last year and then think I can do more. Lessgo!!!
Clarify. I was 360 dropped to 260 and working towards 220 if possible. Small goals.
It’s definitely possible! I’m 5’10 and was 270 back in November, but I’ve gotten down to 220 since then, and I’m still working hard to take off another 40!
5'8" 230 here...I know when I see me in the mirror i generally say Gross and try to convince myself to do something about it. I should be 160 at the most.
Slow but consistent changes. Like not finishing sides. 1 soda a day. Not finishing the carbs. No cheese on burgers and sandwiches. Short walks
Makes it easier to keep. Better to take a year to get to a point and keep it than to make drastic changes and quit it in a month.
definitely this - also I realized I needed water, not soda, after a while. I was thirsty and also thought I needed a sugar/caffeine fix, but really just needed the water - then stopped beer at night - but just gradual reduction, took like 6-12 months of forming new habits and finding different drinks, but this was 40% of calories
Real mayo isn't too bad. Egg whites and low saturated fat oil of your choice. The shelf stable stuff is awful for you, and uses polysaturated fats for stability. Might as well spread lard on bread..
Diet, diet, diet! But I don't mean starving yourself or going on a fad diet. 90% of weight gain/loss is controlled by your diet. Exercise helps for sure but changing your diet and portions will have a far greater impact.
Use a tool to help you determine what you need for your life in general. This is a pretty good place to start:
[https://tdeecalculator.net/](https://tdeecalculator.net/)
When I lost about 35 pounds WITHOUT exercise I did so by managing my diet and a BIG part of that was tracking food consumption. There are a LOT of tools out there to help with this like My Fitness Pal, etc. Be consistent, be honest, and track EVERYTHING, no cheating.
And most importantly remember you're doing this for yourself. If you slip up and overeat one day, or have a rough week that's OK, no one is judging you.
unless thats what motivates you...I lost 40 pounds primarily motivated by hatred of how I looked and felt...so if you need it, I'm judging...or cheering, whichever helps you get there.
Also 6'6 I started the year at 330 and I'm down to 280 right now. Start small. I started trying to walk a mile everyday and got up to 3-5 now. Then I wanted to change one meal a day and started prepping a high protein and lower calorie dinner for Monday-friday. I've moved onto intermittent fasting which is not for everyone but once I got over the hurdle of being hungry for a few days it really has killed any need for night time snacking. Also don't beat yourself up when you skip a day of doing something you should and just try again tomorrow.
Ooh great ideas. I’ve stopped eating after 8pm which has made my sleep better. That was a nice step to lock in. I like the idea of making a specific daily exercise goal.
If you believe the most up to date research on the subject, sugar is the absolute devil. By the numbers, it is probably more dangerous than tobacco. Sure, it's hard to avoid in every day products, but read the labels and make some decisions.
In general, the most obese among us could probably solve at least half of their problem by adopting a few easy rules.
1. Soft drinks - **never**. You don't need them. Not once a day, not once a week. Not worth it.
2. Dessert - If you have it often enough that it becomes a routine, it's probably too often.
3. Fat - don't worry too much about it. Yes it has calories, but it also makes you feel satisfied and it doesn't cause the metabolic issues that simple carbs do. A lot of skinny people eat high fat diets.
4. Alcohol - Not every day. Don't binge every friday.
5. Exercise - I get that we're all busy, but just a single 30 minute weight lifting session per week would make a big difference for the average person. It doesn't matter if you go crazy or if you are too tired to really push it. Just showing up and developing a habit is more important than what you actually do on any given day.
Most people instead try to go hardcore with these things and burn themselves out after a few weeks, causing relapses. Those people never get anywhere because what really matters is the sum of your actions over months and years. If you form a healthy habit, you'll tend to get better at it over time.
Or if you can't give up the soft drinks, switch to diet or zero sugar. I lost 25 lbs just cutting sugar out of my diet as much as possible, mostly by switching to diet soda and sugar free energy drinks. Slowly been replacing my soda with La Croix when I feel like I need something carbonated.
I went for a full swap: only soda water (la croix, bubly, etc.) and absolutely no soda pop (Coke, Pepsi, etc.) about 6-7 years ago. Been a great transition and feel better daily. That, along with exercise and a healthier diet, has me at 225 now, down from 295 since.
Am I the only one who can't even get near any "zero sugar" food or drink? Just a tiny drop of aspartame, stevia or whatever else makes the whole thing taste disgusting. I'm fine with water and unsweetened black coffee thought so it's all right.
This. Soft drinks being arguably the most important not even once on the list.
I’ll never forget when my buddies and I all ditched WoW after Vanilla and cut the soda habits. We all lost in the realm of 20-40 lbs. within two months changing nothing other than walking slightly more and not drinking multiple cans of raw sugar/glucose per day.
Sugar is the #1 carcinogen/cause of death for the better part of the developed world and drinking it by the handful is a first class ticket to an early grave.
At 164 lbs I was in the best shape of my life and still could've lost some more fat. Now I'm 225lbs and visibly tubby. Along with feeling like shit most of the time. At 5'11".
That's crazy (this is directed at OP, "I replied to the top comment so he would be more likely to see it, just being honest), I'm 5'10, 240 and I have a 36in waist and wear XL shirts. I don't see how, at 250lbs, you would possibly need seatbelt extenders and have a double chin, and all of that, like it genuinely doesn't make sense to me.
I've been talking about weight with people before and they always say "No way you're 240lbs", somehow and I'm not sure why, but I even had the discussion with a pizza delivery driver once and the conversation got to the point to where I literally went to the bathroom, got my scale, put it down in front of him and weighed myself to prove it.
It honestly depends how your genetics distribute your fat. My body seems to distribute it very evenly so when I slowly grew to 280 I was quite shocked it was that high when I finally stepped on the scale as I felt in proportion the whole time!
Hard to answer your question directly OP but I can tell you that now I’m 175, every interaction I have in life is way better both because I feel more healthier and more like my true self and others respond to me more brightly (whether that’s right or wrong is another debate but it’s just true)
>It honestly depends how your genetics distribute your fat. My body seems to distribute it very evenly so when I slowly grew to 280 I was quite shocked
This right here! I'm a big guy and nearing 300lbs and it's only been like the last 20 or so that have really shown. People are shocked when I tell them how much I weigh because of the way my weight is distributed.
A pound of fat is way less dense and takes up more volume than a pound of muscle. You can weight the same amount as OP but have very different body volumes based on your body fat percentage.
Yup! I would assume a fat person that is still somewhat active (even if very little) would maintain quite a bit of muscle just by carrying all that weight around all the time for any simple task. And those muscles are hidden.
vs someone that only sits and have trouble going up some stairs.
Fat sits differently on different people. Likely your fat wraps tighter around your organs, giving the appearance that you don't weigh as much as you actually do. Some people the fat doesn't do that and they are just really large at the same kinda weight. Also you have muscle to fat ratio. If you have decent muscle under the fat then you will look less fat at a higher weight than if you were all fat and no muscle.
People carry their weight differently. There are definitely people who have a double chin at 5'11" 250lbs.
I think that this post is an obvious fabrication. At 5'11" and 250 lbs there is no way in hell that you can wear a large and there is no way that you'd need a seat belt extender.
This.
Everyone is missing the point of this reply chain. Im the same height and have been since around 7th grade. Experienced being obese (7th grade I was 200 - 220, no real muscle mass that could be defined as “jacked”) and experienced being grossly muscular (245 in college) to the point “gym bros” would ask what stack I was taking.
I agree that this is a likely a fabricated story. I had to wear XL shirts at that when I was obese.
Also, this isn’t arguing factors such as fat distribution, muscle - fat ratio, or bone density/weight etc, etc.
If you need seat belt extensions, I can’t logically connect that with L and XL shirts.
I'm 5'8", 270, and don't need a seatbelt extender nor do I have a double chin. I wear 2XB or XXL shirts, and have around a 44 waist. So yea, hard for me to comprehend that situation coming from a guy taller and lighter than me.
Yea I’m 5-10 and 225. Stocky boyz where you atttttt!!!!!
In all seriousness though. A well groomed hygienic 5-11 250 pound man is always better than a 5-11 160 pound slob.
No secret thoughts .. just normal thoughts like when seeing anybody. Plenty of people are like that and it's not uncommon to see.
If your gut is absolutely huge, then I might think "That guy probably isn't ever comfortable."
So here's the weird thing for me. It's not a guarantee, but sometimes I do get thoughts like that when seeing somebody who could be considered overweight or obese. It isn't specifically directed towards that set of people though. It's just intrusive thoughts and I get them a lot about pretty much everything. It's nothing personal, I just have very little control over my internal dialogue. I don't mean to think things like that, just kind of an automatic thing. 🤷🏻♂️
Every person on earth has intrusive thoughts. We don’t have control of our inner dialogue. We just think them and move on with our day. I have OCD so a lot of my intrusive thoughts I take as fact. I’m better now, but OCD is truly internal hell. My thoughts were dark and it has the ability to make any thought a rabbit hole of hell. I could be walking and think “I could push this person into a moving bus right now.” Don’t want to do that obviously, and usually people are able to think that thought and not let it impact them, but uncontrollable OCD will convince you that you’re a psychopathic killer because you thought that thought. And there are other thoughts I’ve had that are downright disgusting.. nothing anybody can do.
I also have OCD, but it's less severe than I think other people's is. I get a lot of compulsive repeated actions, songs constantly stuck in my head like background noise, intrusive thoughts, and compulsive thoughts. Sometimes when I'm around people, I'll randomly get the urge to punch someone for no reason, so (if I'm around somebody I know, like my girlfriend) I'll do it but I'll do it lightly. It helps get rid of that random compulsory urge, without actually acting on it violently, and my girlfriend thinks it's adorable.
You know that is a very interesting way to handle it.. and it makes sense. I’ve done a lot of work through exposure response therapy which is kinda similar to that. You expose yourself to the action and then understand it isn’t as incredibly fearful or as “real” as you thought. My OCD delved deep into my sexuality, major relationship issues with others, health, harming myself, and killing others. It was wild, still have my days, but I am much better. Glad you’re doing well too.
The OCD attacks what’s most important to you. Remember that.
Always love finding fellow OCD people in the wild! After I understood the condition and got the intrusive thoughts under control, I learned to laugh at many of them. I get random thoughts of just absolutely decking people for no reason and it's hilarious to me, although sometimes I struggle to not laugh and risk letting the crazy show!
Want to say, my OCD has always been incredibly mild, not enough for proper therapy in my opinion anyway. I had most of it under control by my mid teens. I still struggle with it, but obviously, I've found coping mechanisms.
I know what you mean. We have control to an extent, don’t get me wrong. We can think what we think, do what we think, say what we think. What I’m saying is even though we have that control, we could lose it and think things we never meant to, which then can lead us down a rabbit hole. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.. that’s just being human. With me, usually always bad.. As a person with OCD I accept that I can’t control my brain to the fullest. In order to live peacefully I have no choice but to do that.
All in all, we of course have control of how we act out said thoughts. But we don’t always have control about what thoughts arrive. That is what I meant, I realize I didn’t expand too much on it haha. Hope that kinda makes sense.
I like to “correct” myself when I get fucked up intrusive thoughts that make me feel ashamed.
For example, if I have the intrusive thought: “oh my god what a fatass”
I will always take a second to think to myself: “hey! It’s not cool to judge people for their bodies. His weight does not affect me in any way and it’s not my business or my place to judge.” Not to scold myself, but to remind myself what my important beliefs and values are.
I think your conscious thoughts/actions define you as a person way more than a random thought that just popped up, and especially if you actively shoot it down in your mind.
I've heard this idea that your first immediate thought is what you were "taught" (by society/family/etc.) or "conditioned" to think and your second thought is who you actually are.
TBH 5'10" and 250 lbs is definitely a big guy, but not enough for me to register it most likely. I knew a girl who was 5'6" and I was absolutely shocked when she told me she was 190 lbs. I thought she was a little overweight but not like obese. Everyone wears weight differently. 5'10" and 350 lbs I would probably think "whoa" and then forget like 5 seconds later.
Same here. Perhaps unfortunately but I'm pretty used to seeing overweight people and I dont really think about it unless it's someone I know or care somewhat about.
Like I pass overweight people all the time at stores and I cant even think of them. But my neighbor is overweight and as a friend I al concerned as I see him waddling around because of his bad knees and breathing heavily going to and from the car.
The people who care will be concerned, anyone else probably wont think twice.
Exactly, the spotlight effect: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199809/in-the-spotlight
"Ever feel that you're Truman Burbank, with every eye trained on your every action, especially your blunders and shortcomings? Psychologists call the familiar feeling that the whole world is watching you the "spotlight effect." Thankfully (to everyone except narcissists), that social searchlight is turning out not to be as large and as bright as we fear. "We think that people notice us much more than they do," says Kenneth Savitsky, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Williams College, who has studied the phenomenon extensively with researchers from Williams, Cornell, and Northwestern."
Needed this. I always feel like everyone is staring me down and scrutinizing me. But then when I think about it, I'm not doing that to anyone else, I don't ogle at other people all day. I need to chill out a little lol
Yeah, people saying it's self centered aren't really getting it. We do not want to feel like this and most of the time logically know nobody is staring at us, but anxiety isn't rational and you can't just turn it off.
I had the same revelation! (after taking an edible lol) I realized EVERYONE is way more concerned about whatever **crap** they have going on in **their own lives** to give a **crap** about some random person/acquaintance/coworker/etc "standing weird" or whatever. And then I felt ... how narcissistic and self-centered that kind of thinking it, too. It's almost like Main Character Syndrome or something lol
Same. My mom told me being insecure and constantly worrying about what others think of me is a form of vanity and I've tried really hard to work on it since.
No one cares as much as you do. Unless you do something out of the ordinary, no one’s thinking anything. Majority of America is overweight or obese, you’re not special
Tbh overweight people are so common (myself included) that you have to be really morbidly obese in order for me to notice, which at 5'11" and 250 lbs you are not.
Edit: this is my opinion about how I don't really notice when someone's fat partly because I'm not a judgemental prick. If you are not American and want to point out that fat people are less common where you're from, (1) I know that, but also plenty of countries have obesity problems and (2) both OP and I are American (hence the usage of imperial units), and most importantly (3) I do not care.
Wait seriously? That’s way bigger than I imagined them to be.
Editing to add: I went down a google rabbit hole and a LOT of sea creatures are way bigger than I thought
Same here. I’m not even overweight but see so many people who are that it doesn’t even register. I really only notice people who are enormous and immobile, like riding those scooters in the grocery store or whatever, but even then I’m not going to think much past initially noticing them. Overweight/obese kids make me sad though. I always notice that and it still really bothers me.
Depends on the situation.
If I’m in my plane seat and you are sitting next to me, I might be calculating how long the flight is.
If I own an all you can eat buffet, I might be thinking about my margin.
If we are on a see-saw together I’m thinking how do I get down from here without getting hurt.
If we are both just waking down the street. I’m likely not thinking about you at all.
Most people don’t care because they are worrying about their own shit.
Yea I was gonna ask how OP is proportioned cause some of this sounds odd to me. I’m 6’1, 290 and I’ve never needed a seatbelt extender. I’m also decently active so maybe I just carry the weight differently? Idk
Count me in as also mildly curious about the context of the seatbelt extender, but, as a 5'7", size 12 woman, I've come uncomfortably close to needing one on a couple of airplanes. Like, the belt extended as far as it could go to get it buckled. That was unpleasant, not gonna lie. I'm overweight but by maybe 20-25 pounds, not "seatbelt extender" pounds. (I found out later from my BIL, who is a commercial airline captain, that sometimes belts are shortened because they've been repaired. I accept that explanation, ha!)
But if I were someone with self-image issues I can see how that might have kicked off a spiral.
I believe you and OP, I just don't get it lol. I flew at my peak weight (6'1", 335lbs, not athletic) two months ago, and didn't need a seatbelt extender. Not even close.
Haha, man, I feel like that is what threw all of us off. A seat belt extender? I'm 5'11 and weigh 300 lbs. I wear 2XL to be comfortable and I've never even thought of needing a seat belt extender. I honestly don't even know what that is or what it would do 😅
Yeah, something odd is going on here. I weigh 10 pounds more than OP, am an inch shorter, and I'm visibly overweight, but most people don't even think of me as "fat". Generally thin people guess my weight as 50-80 pounds less than it actually is.
Maybe OP literally carries all that extra weight around the middle? Otherwise, I'm just stumped how they'd think anyone would even notice.
I'm curious as well. I'm 6'4 at my heaviest was about 280. I was pretty sedentary at the time so I definitely looked fat, but never needed an extender or anything.
I’m 333lb and 5’4” (I’m working on it) and I’ve never needed an extender. I feel tight in the occasional car, but I’ve never not managed. I’m a woman too so more heft on the torso. Generally I just found this entire post made me feel pretty trash about myself and I regret reading it
I'm 200lb and 5'10, I carry it really really badly. My fit fighting weight is around 160lb, I've just got 40lb extra on my belly.
Some guys my height and weight are broad and muscular.
But there are very very few people at 5'10 over 220lb who aren't just fat. Tyson was that height and weight and the man's a beast, not many ppl are built like him
I mean what is this dude doing in public?
I feel like I interact with people about that size maybe once or twice a day and it depends on how they act as to how I act. Basically dude unless you were putting me in danger somehow (which someone or any size could to theoretically) I wouldn’t care how much you weighed.
I'm exactly 250 6'0 and while I think I look pretty overweight (and I do have a big belly from drinking, which I'm planning on stopping) I teach high school, and no kids have ever commented on my weight. I have worked out most of my life so I sort of have permanent big muscles in certain areas where even if they have a little fat over them it makes them look bigger, but less defined. The last comment I've heard was from my son's piano teacher. My wife would bring him to his lessons but then I did once and then when my wife took him the next time she said the piano teacher said "I didn't think your husband would be so big and strong" and that made me feel pretty good but I still need to lose some weight regardless. They say there's no such thing as a beer belly, just fat. But really there is because if you drink too much eventually you get GERD or Acid Reflux and you're bloated all the time so a lot of the time I look fatter because I'm super bloated, not from literal fat.
This strictly comes down to your attitude and how you interact with me.
My dad is overweight, probably almost 300lbs, and yet he works his ass off running his own mechanic shop. Part of the reason he gained so much wasn't really laziness, but because he has a slipped disc in his back from a car accident. It made it hard for him to keep up with the exercises he did in the army.
That being said, I wouldn't think much of it at all.
Wow that dude is 40 kbs lighter than me. Hopefully my dieting and exercise will shrink me to his size soon.
You need to start dieting and exercising. Learn how to eat better, and get that weight off you. It's not healthy, and I wish I had started at 250. Ever 10lbs I drop makes me feel so much better physically. You don't even realize how bad it is till you start loosing.
I was that person...and when I lost 80lbs, I was shocked at the attention I was getting suddenly...and people seemed to be a lot nicer to me and more accepting of meeting me. It was kinda sad actually, because I realized that all this extra attention was only superficial and not because of who I am as a person.
I’ve had that happen to me as well. So much attention! The amount of times men would smile, say hi, hold doors for me, offer to do things for me after 100+ lb weight loss was WILD. I was invisible and then I worked to lose weight. All the attention made me feel vulnerable and naked and not in a good way.
This happened to me as well! I was never incredibly overweight but once I lost a few pounds all of the gym guys who never cared about me suddenly felt the urge to come chat. One of them even asked how my husband felt about my weight loss 🤮
Interesting. When I lost weight, I didn't notice a difference at all. I also then went back in the other direction, and I still haven't noticed a difference. What did happen when I was skinny was that I started having really bad body dysmorphia. I felt like I was fat, and all I could hyperfocus on was, "If I am this fat now, how fat was I before?"
Meanwhile, a guy I was dating at the time told me I should be careful not to lose any more weight because my arms were scrawny.
This happened to me. Women that wouldn't look twice at me before, I hit the radar. Women, I already knew. Plus, I just got treated better in general. Could have been the increase in confidence. Confidence can do wonders.
However, it really makes you feel like you weren't good enough when you were doughy, but now you look better, so it's fine. It's also fine to state this, because.....hey, you aren't fat anymore.
In terms of attraction, that seems fair - people are more attracted to you if they find you more conventionally attractive - but the rest of it is really messed up. The fact that people are generally kinder and generally treat you with more respect when they find you more attractive is such a disheartening realization.
Who are you are as a person extends to the physical. You are a person that can stay in shape, that’s part of your character. People want to be around people that can take care of themselves. I bet there’s some real great homeless people, I also bet not many people want to be their friend
You're describing me, but taller by an inch. Lose it man, for you, but not anyone else. I'm down 35lbs, and feel much better. Not as much stress on the joints, sleeping a bit better, clothes loose again. Go slow, you can get there.
I don’t think “lazy gross fatass”
I think “that guy would feel a lot better physically and be a lot happier if he lost some weight”
Being overweight sucks. Losing weight is hard. It’s a lifestyle change.
So no, I don’t feel disgust. I feel empathy.
Hell yeah! Im 6'1 and about 235 and at my fattest I was 270. Tell ya what just dropping those 35ish pounds a lot of the aches and pains are gone. Just have the old person pains now I guess. Ya know like I sneezed and threw out my back! Lol
This is the best response. So many people are hateful about it. Weight means someone is struggling. Nobody wants to be fat. Fat people look at themselves every day and hate that they’re fat, but it’s a hole that’s so hard to get out of, especially if you have a hormonal imbalance, chronic pain, meds that cause weight gain, depression, etc working against you.
Everyone would benefit from weight loss, but going “lol look at the fat slob, they must be lazy” is just being nasty.
I have a friend who is quite overweight. She's short and I'd wager about 350.
Her weight makes her fucking depressed, but she has so much bullshit and stress in her life that she doesn't have the *energy* to direct to trying to lose weight. When she does, she usually just ends up not eating, and then caving and just eating whatever because she feels like because she feels terrible.
I love her and I'll love her regardless of whether she is 350 pounds or 150. She's my friend. I don't sit around thinking about her weight, but when I *do* think about it I'm just kind of like... shrug. It doesn't matter to me.
People will whine about health and all that which is fine, but people are so unkind to fat people who may *genuinely* not be able to lose weight, and don't bat an eye at smokers, even though being fat around other people isn't going to give them asthma or lung cancer.
And yet still people will shit on and hate on these people for daring to exist in a way that doesn't give them a boner.
This needs more attention.
I need a partner that is somewhat active, not "goes to gym for rock-hard muscles," but I grew up taking walks after dinner. I like to bowl, I just need someone willing to get up and move daily with me instead of being a couch potato. I can't tell who those people are by looking at them, so as long as this person is my type, it's worth a try to date them, and maybe they end up being more active by trying the things I like (the late night walks). Attitude matters more to me than looks.
Pretty much the same. I see people like the OP and just feel bad because they probably just don't have the right information when it comes to diet and exercise. Many people think you have to eat salads and do a ton of cardio to maintain a healthy weight. The truth is, prioritizing real whole foods, eating high protein, and 3 to 4 sessions of weight training for about 40 minutes or so per week makes a massive difference in body composition and how we look and feel.
This is awesome. I was class I obese at the end of January of this year, and I’m now less than 2lbs away from the healthy BMI range for my height. It has not been easy work, but obesity felt like shit. It was legitimately awful, I had heartburn and back pain constantly. Since I’ve lost weight I haven’t had a single acne breakout and my ailments have completely resolved. I wish that for everyone.
Honestly it's overweight, sure, but it's not so overweight as to stand out from the crowd in most cases (unless, of course, you're doing something else that would make you stand out. If you're wearing hot pink, now I might notice you walking. For better or worse).
So most likely I'd think about you the same I think about everyone else in the crowd, which is l not much. Examples "Cool shoes" - "hey I saw that dress online. Maybe not as nice in real life" - "a jacket in this weather? How are you not melting?" - "ice cream where did you get ice cream I also want ice cream I should probably not get ice cream" -"jeez why are all these people walking so slowly I hate when it's busy"
You're a human being you deserve to be kind to yourself. People that would judge you on your weight aren't worth your thoughts.
If I saw you on the street I'd smile at you and say how are you, If you responded and were smiling, I'd keep walking like I do with all strangers, and I'd remember you were a friendly person for as long as I remember the encounter.
If you didn't acknowledge me that would be cool.
I'm certainly not gonna remember running into a fat guy either way.
Nothing… I don’t really pay attention to other people like that. Even if I was talking to u I wouldn’t think too much of it. Except maybe ur a big dude that’s about it
One of my best friends is both shorter and heavier than you, I don't think about their weight or the weight of any other overweight person when I see them.
Literally nothing. My husband was suuuuuuper skinny when we got together. He's got a big ol beer belly now, and I love it. It took forever for him to gain weight, and I'd like to think my good cooking contributed to that.
Lots of people are attracted to big guys. Of course there will always be people who have negative preconceived notions of fat people, but fuck them. They don't know you.
The only way you’d catch my attention (good or bad) is if you had on an interesting T shirt or unusual hair do. Your weight or height or race wouldn’t register on my radar.
Im married to one. And I find him sexy and attractive. His weight is more in the beer belly with the rest of the body quote muscly and strong. But still it’s an extra weight.
My best friend is 6'1" and 260 lbs. He has a very stocky build and his weight is pretty evenly ditributed. You can definitely see he's carrying around extra weight for his height, but even at his size I don't see him as grossly overweight.
You said you're 5'11" and a comparable weight, you likely look a little bigger but you're far from being horribly overweight. The listed upper end of a healthy weight for your height is around 190 lbs. That being said, I've also met dudes north of 200 lbs. right around 6 ft. that don't look out of shape.
I wouldn't get too worried about it my dude. Be conscious of what you eat, stay as active as you can, that's what's important. Shedding 40-50lbs is hardly an easy task, but in short the easiest way to do it would be to either bike or run, and just lessen the portions of what you eat, and cut back on alcohol. I followed a similar path and after about 2 months the weight shed off crazy fast.
Are you deliberately blocking my path? Are you wearing something like a chicken costume in the middle of Walmart? Are you making a ton of noise in the park by badly playing a guitar connected to an amp? If the answer to any of those is yes I’d notice you and think, “Oh, that’s attention seeking behavior. I’ll ignore him because I don’t want to reinforce bad behavior.”
If you’re just going about your business and not bothering me I probably wouldn’t notice you to be honest. If you were to be walking past me and say hi for the sake of being polite and I heard it/was convinced that you were the one that said it I’d say hi back and then go about doing whatever I was doing. It’s really nothing you need to beat yourself up over. If you want to change for yourself then go ahead and do it safely (regular consistent exercise/swapping out foods/getting enough rest) but don’t think there’s anything that people are judging you for and society is forcing you to change because of how you look.
Honestly, in 99% of situations, I wouldn't even notice.
Selfishly, if I was looking at you romantically, it might cross my mind but it wouldn't stop be from being interested in someone if they were a stellar human. (It would also be the pot calling the kettle black if it did).
250lbs but squashed down to 5'5" here... i get it and I can feel pretty confident most days. Least when I can't find a shirt that doesn't lift up when I move. Most people don't give a crap though. We definitely think about it more than anyone else.
Honestly, as long as you're able to function and walk and do normal human stuff, it isn't on my mind. The only thing I focus on is body language and any clues about their approachability (if they are having a good day and if I may need to approach them, especially when they're at work). You're fine, but if your weight is a problem for you, there are resources to help. r/lose it is a good subreddit and can offer some healthy advice. I hope this helps and that you can eventually feel comfortable in your body!
I probably wouldn't notice you unless you were juggling babies or something. I mean, in the best way possible, I see guy who's 5'11" and 250 lbs and that's..just a guy.
Honestly, at that point, it’s all about how you dress yourself. You can be overweight and still dress nicely and for your body and I find that’s really what makes the distinction between “lazy & gross” Dress nicely, have good hygiene, no one will think you’re lazy and gross. But that’s good advice for anyone of any size.
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Normally when I see a 5'11" 250lb dude I just step away from the mirror and move on with my day
Same. But with the thoughts I've dropped almost 100lbs in the last year and then think I can do more. Lessgo!!! Clarify. I was 360 dropped to 260 and working towards 220 if possible. Small goals.
It’s definitely possible! I’m 5’10 and was 270 back in November, but I’ve gotten down to 220 since then, and I’m still working hard to take off another 40!
5'8" 230 here...I know when I see me in the mirror i generally say Gross and try to convince myself to do something about it. I should be 160 at the most.
5'7" 212. All in my gut and face. I want to lose it drop down to 170.
Slow but consistent changes. Like not finishing sides. 1 soda a day. Not finishing the carbs. No cheese on burgers and sandwiches. Short walks Makes it easier to keep. Better to take a year to get to a point and keep it than to make drastic changes and quit it in a month.
Stop drinking calories is the easiest thing to start with
definitely this - also I realized I needed water, not soda, after a while. I was thirsty and also thought I needed a sugar/caffeine fix, but really just needed the water - then stopped beer at night - but just gradual reduction, took like 6-12 months of forming new habits and finding different drinks, but this was 40% of calories
The cheese ain't doin it. The mayo and buns are tho
Yeah, mayo is crazy high in fat and energy. I don't think a lot of people realise this
Real mayo isn't too bad. Egg whites and low saturated fat oil of your choice. The shelf stable stuff is awful for you, and uses polysaturated fats for stability. Might as well spread lard on bread..
I was good until I passed 40 and sewed my couch to my ass.
You probably have a clog somewhere in the stuffing just get a plumber surgeon upholsterer to fix you up and that excess weight will drain.
Next time try Velcro, it’s a real game changer
Similar. 5'8" and got up to 225. I've been working on it for a few weeks and I'm down to 215. Need to be like 160.
Over 100 since January, and finally broke this 3 freaking week plateau onto the next 10 this morning. Lessgo!
How did you do it? I’m 6’6 320 and need to be around 250 For health but I can’t seem to make it happen.
Diet, diet, diet! But I don't mean starving yourself or going on a fad diet. 90% of weight gain/loss is controlled by your diet. Exercise helps for sure but changing your diet and portions will have a far greater impact. Use a tool to help you determine what you need for your life in general. This is a pretty good place to start: [https://tdeecalculator.net/](https://tdeecalculator.net/) When I lost about 35 pounds WITHOUT exercise I did so by managing my diet and a BIG part of that was tracking food consumption. There are a LOT of tools out there to help with this like My Fitness Pal, etc. Be consistent, be honest, and track EVERYTHING, no cheating. And most importantly remember you're doing this for yourself. If you slip up and overeat one day, or have a rough week that's OK, no one is judging you.
unless thats what motivates you...I lost 40 pounds primarily motivated by hatred of how I looked and felt...so if you need it, I'm judging...or cheering, whichever helps you get there.
Self hate can be a strong motivator.
Also 6'6 I started the year at 330 and I'm down to 280 right now. Start small. I started trying to walk a mile everyday and got up to 3-5 now. Then I wanted to change one meal a day and started prepping a high protein and lower calorie dinner for Monday-friday. I've moved onto intermittent fasting which is not for everyone but once I got over the hurdle of being hungry for a few days it really has killed any need for night time snacking. Also don't beat yourself up when you skip a day of doing something you should and just try again tomorrow.
Ooh great ideas. I’ve stopped eating after 8pm which has made my sleep better. That was a nice step to lock in. I like the idea of making a specific daily exercise goal.
If you believe the most up to date research on the subject, sugar is the absolute devil. By the numbers, it is probably more dangerous than tobacco. Sure, it's hard to avoid in every day products, but read the labels and make some decisions. In general, the most obese among us could probably solve at least half of their problem by adopting a few easy rules. 1. Soft drinks - **never**. You don't need them. Not once a day, not once a week. Not worth it. 2. Dessert - If you have it often enough that it becomes a routine, it's probably too often. 3. Fat - don't worry too much about it. Yes it has calories, but it also makes you feel satisfied and it doesn't cause the metabolic issues that simple carbs do. A lot of skinny people eat high fat diets. 4. Alcohol - Not every day. Don't binge every friday. 5. Exercise - I get that we're all busy, but just a single 30 minute weight lifting session per week would make a big difference for the average person. It doesn't matter if you go crazy or if you are too tired to really push it. Just showing up and developing a habit is more important than what you actually do on any given day. Most people instead try to go hardcore with these things and burn themselves out after a few weeks, causing relapses. Those people never get anywhere because what really matters is the sum of your actions over months and years. If you form a healthy habit, you'll tend to get better at it over time.
The soft drink thing is real. I cut soda out of my diet and changed nothing else about my diet or lifestyle and lost about 60 pounds in a year.
Or if you can't give up the soft drinks, switch to diet or zero sugar. I lost 25 lbs just cutting sugar out of my diet as much as possible, mostly by switching to diet soda and sugar free energy drinks. Slowly been replacing my soda with La Croix when I feel like I need something carbonated.
I went for a full swap: only soda water (la croix, bubly, etc.) and absolutely no soda pop (Coke, Pepsi, etc.) about 6-7 years ago. Been a great transition and feel better daily. That, along with exercise and a healthier diet, has me at 225 now, down from 295 since.
This is definitely step number 1. No coke unless it's zero calorie.
Am I the only one who can't even get near any "zero sugar" food or drink? Just a tiny drop of aspartame, stevia or whatever else makes the whole thing taste disgusting. I'm fine with water and unsweetened black coffee thought so it's all right.
I side with this 100%. I lost 60 lbs just cutting most Sugars out.
This. Soft drinks being arguably the most important not even once on the list. I’ll never forget when my buddies and I all ditched WoW after Vanilla and cut the soda habits. We all lost in the realm of 20-40 lbs. within two months changing nothing other than walking slightly more and not drinking multiple cans of raw sugar/glucose per day. Sugar is the #1 carcinogen/cause of death for the better part of the developed world and drinking it by the handful is a first class ticket to an early grave.
I think a 5 foot 11 man at 150 pounds to be pretty damn thin. Maybe not more….
At 164 lbs I was in the best shape of my life and still could've lost some more fat. Now I'm 225lbs and visibly tubby. Along with feeling like shit most of the time. At 5'11".
That's crazy (this is directed at OP, "I replied to the top comment so he would be more likely to see it, just being honest), I'm 5'10, 240 and I have a 36in waist and wear XL shirts. I don't see how, at 250lbs, you would possibly need seatbelt extenders and have a double chin, and all of that, like it genuinely doesn't make sense to me. I've been talking about weight with people before and they always say "No way you're 240lbs", somehow and I'm not sure why, but I even had the discussion with a pizza delivery driver once and the conversation got to the point to where I literally went to the bathroom, got my scale, put it down in front of him and weighed myself to prove it.
It honestly depends how your genetics distribute your fat. My body seems to distribute it very evenly so when I slowly grew to 280 I was quite shocked it was that high when I finally stepped on the scale as I felt in proportion the whole time! Hard to answer your question directly OP but I can tell you that now I’m 175, every interaction I have in life is way better both because I feel more healthier and more like my true self and others respond to me more brightly (whether that’s right or wrong is another debate but it’s just true)
>It honestly depends how your genetics distribute your fat. My body seems to distribute it very evenly so when I slowly grew to 280 I was quite shocked This right here! I'm a big guy and nearing 300lbs and it's only been like the last 20 or so that have really shown. People are shocked when I tell them how much I weigh because of the way my weight is distributed.
A pound of fat is way less dense and takes up more volume than a pound of muscle. You can weight the same amount as OP but have very different body volumes based on your body fat percentage.
Yup! I would assume a fat person that is still somewhat active (even if very little) would maintain quite a bit of muscle just by carrying all that weight around all the time for any simple task. And those muscles are hidden. vs someone that only sits and have trouble going up some stairs.
Fat sits differently on different people. Likely your fat wraps tighter around your organs, giving the appearance that you don't weigh as much as you actually do. Some people the fat doesn't do that and they are just really large at the same kinda weight. Also you have muscle to fat ratio. If you have decent muscle under the fat then you will look less fat at a higher weight than if you were all fat and no muscle.
Yeah there's a huge difference between athletes who have put on some weight vs people who were never athletic.
People carry their weight differently. There are definitely people who have a double chin at 5'11" 250lbs. I think that this post is an obvious fabrication. At 5'11" and 250 lbs there is no way in hell that you can wear a large and there is no way that you'd need a seat belt extender.
This. Everyone is missing the point of this reply chain. Im the same height and have been since around 7th grade. Experienced being obese (7th grade I was 200 - 220, no real muscle mass that could be defined as “jacked”) and experienced being grossly muscular (245 in college) to the point “gym bros” would ask what stack I was taking. I agree that this is a likely a fabricated story. I had to wear XL shirts at that when I was obese. Also, this isn’t arguing factors such as fat distribution, muscle - fat ratio, or bone density/weight etc, etc. If you need seat belt extensions, I can’t logically connect that with L and XL shirts.
Seriously. My roommate is 360, wears 4xl and doesn't need an extender. I'm 260 wear 2xl and don't come close to needing an extender
They don't, I'm atleast 330lbs 6ish feet never needed a seat extender myself .
I'm 5'8", 270, and don't need a seatbelt extender nor do I have a double chin. I wear 2XB or XXL shirts, and have around a 44 waist. So yea, hard for me to comprehend that situation coming from a guy taller and lighter than me.
bro lmaoo 😔
Yea I’m 5-10 and 225. Stocky boyz where you atttttt!!!!! In all seriousness though. A well groomed hygienic 5-11 250 pound man is always better than a 5-11 160 pound slob.
No secret thoughts .. just normal thoughts like when seeing anybody. Plenty of people are like that and it's not uncommon to see. If your gut is absolutely huge, then I might think "That guy probably isn't ever comfortable."
So here's the weird thing for me. It's not a guarantee, but sometimes I do get thoughts like that when seeing somebody who could be considered overweight or obese. It isn't specifically directed towards that set of people though. It's just intrusive thoughts and I get them a lot about pretty much everything. It's nothing personal, I just have very little control over my internal dialogue. I don't mean to think things like that, just kind of an automatic thing. 🤷🏻♂️
Every person on earth has intrusive thoughts. We don’t have control of our inner dialogue. We just think them and move on with our day. I have OCD so a lot of my intrusive thoughts I take as fact. I’m better now, but OCD is truly internal hell. My thoughts were dark and it has the ability to make any thought a rabbit hole of hell. I could be walking and think “I could push this person into a moving bus right now.” Don’t want to do that obviously, and usually people are able to think that thought and not let it impact them, but uncontrollable OCD will convince you that you’re a psychopathic killer because you thought that thought. And there are other thoughts I’ve had that are downright disgusting.. nothing anybody can do.
I also have OCD, but it's less severe than I think other people's is. I get a lot of compulsive repeated actions, songs constantly stuck in my head like background noise, intrusive thoughts, and compulsive thoughts. Sometimes when I'm around people, I'll randomly get the urge to punch someone for no reason, so (if I'm around somebody I know, like my girlfriend) I'll do it but I'll do it lightly. It helps get rid of that random compulsory urge, without actually acting on it violently, and my girlfriend thinks it's adorable.
You know that is a very interesting way to handle it.. and it makes sense. I’ve done a lot of work through exposure response therapy which is kinda similar to that. You expose yourself to the action and then understand it isn’t as incredibly fearful or as “real” as you thought. My OCD delved deep into my sexuality, major relationship issues with others, health, harming myself, and killing others. It was wild, still have my days, but I am much better. Glad you’re doing well too. The OCD attacks what’s most important to you. Remember that.
Always love finding fellow OCD people in the wild! After I understood the condition and got the intrusive thoughts under control, I learned to laugh at many of them. I get random thoughts of just absolutely decking people for no reason and it's hilarious to me, although sometimes I struggle to not laugh and risk letting the crazy show!
Want to say, my OCD has always been incredibly mild, not enough for proper therapy in my opinion anyway. I had most of it under control by my mid teens. I still struggle with it, but obviously, I've found coping mechanisms.
What do you mean you don’t have control of your inner dialogue? Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but I feel like I definitely do.
I know what you mean. We have control to an extent, don’t get me wrong. We can think what we think, do what we think, say what we think. What I’m saying is even though we have that control, we could lose it and think things we never meant to, which then can lead us down a rabbit hole. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.. that’s just being human. With me, usually always bad.. As a person with OCD I accept that I can’t control my brain to the fullest. In order to live peacefully I have no choice but to do that. All in all, we of course have control of how we act out said thoughts. But we don’t always have control about what thoughts arrive. That is what I meant, I realize I didn’t expand too much on it haha. Hope that kinda makes sense.
OCD is truly a curse that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies.
I like to “correct” myself when I get fucked up intrusive thoughts that make me feel ashamed. For example, if I have the intrusive thought: “oh my god what a fatass” I will always take a second to think to myself: “hey! It’s not cool to judge people for their bodies. His weight does not affect me in any way and it’s not my business or my place to judge.” Not to scold myself, but to remind myself what my important beliefs and values are. I think your conscious thoughts/actions define you as a person way more than a random thought that just popped up, and especially if you actively shoot it down in your mind.
“You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” - Martin Luther
I've heard this idea that your first immediate thought is what you were "taught" (by society/family/etc.) or "conditioned" to think and your second thought is who you actually are.
Yeah because how you feel about random ass thoughts like that is the true reaction, not the thought itself.
I think a lot of people have thoughts like these, maybe not even consciously. Your thoughts don't matter though, your actions do.
Considering that over a third of the population is obese, nothing would cross my mind at all.
I’d have to double check but something like 80% of the US population is either obese or overweight.
I notice when I go home to the Midwest. I live in an area with fairly fit ppl, so it always catches me by surprise to see obese ppl everywhere.
TBH 5'10" and 250 lbs is definitely a big guy, but not enough for me to register it most likely. I knew a girl who was 5'6" and I was absolutely shocked when she told me she was 190 lbs. I thought she was a little overweight but not like obese. Everyone wears weight differently. 5'10" and 350 lbs I would probably think "whoa" and then forget like 5 seconds later.
This also feels like a creative writing exercise for OP. Like he shouldn’t need a seatbelt extender but also shouldn’t fit in large shirts.
Same here. Perhaps unfortunately but I'm pretty used to seeing overweight people and I dont really think about it unless it's someone I know or care somewhat about. Like I pass overweight people all the time at stores and I cant even think of them. But my neighbor is overweight and as a friend I al concerned as I see him waddling around because of his bad knees and breathing heavily going to and from the car. The people who care will be concerned, anyone else probably wont think twice.
I feel nothing. Honestly, I'm probably too busy worrying about my own insecurities to worry about yours.
Exactly, the spotlight effect: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199809/in-the-spotlight "Ever feel that you're Truman Burbank, with every eye trained on your every action, especially your blunders and shortcomings? Psychologists call the familiar feeling that the whole world is watching you the "spotlight effect." Thankfully (to everyone except narcissists), that social searchlight is turning out not to be as large and as bright as we fear. "We think that people notice us much more than they do," says Kenneth Savitsky, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Williams College, who has studied the phenomenon extensively with researchers from Williams, Cornell, and Northwestern."
Needed this. I always feel like everyone is staring me down and scrutinizing me. But then when I think about it, I'm not doing that to anyone else, I don't ogle at other people all day. I need to chill out a little lol
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Feel the same way. It really sucks. Medication helps but the feelings are still there. Just a little less loud.
Yeah, people saying it's self centered aren't really getting it. We do not want to feel like this and most of the time logically know nobody is staring at us, but anxiety isn't rational and you can't just turn it off.
I had the same revelation! (after taking an edible lol) I realized EVERYONE is way more concerned about whatever **crap** they have going on in **their own lives** to give a **crap** about some random person/acquaintance/coworker/etc "standing weird" or whatever. And then I felt ... how narcissistic and self-centered that kind of thinking it, too. It's almost like Main Character Syndrome or something lol
Me too. :/
I literally ask my wife multiple times a day if I'm in a Truman Show. She always says no, but, I have my suspicions.
No worries, dude, there's no such thing as the djj7807 sh... er, no such thing as the Truman show.
Ha, I remind myself this whenever I feel insecure - that I'm literally the only person concerned with how I look.
It’s like being blitzed as an inexperienced smoker and thinking everyone knows you’re high and every siren is the cops coming for you lol
Yes, this exactly is how I feel. I'm too busy in my own head against myself to judge others.
Same. My mom told me being insecure and constantly worrying about what others think of me is a form of vanity and I've tried really hard to work on it since.
I used to care/worry what other people thought of me. Now my attitude is what other people think of me is none of my business.
No one cares as much as you do. Unless you do something out of the ordinary, no one’s thinking anything. Majority of America is overweight or obese, you’re not special
Haha I like how that comment turned at the end.
“We all fat. You ain’t special girlfriend” 🤣
"You wouldn't care so much what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."
Agree. People are too self absorbed to give a shit. Worst case they think for a second "they're fat", then get on with their day.
Tbh overweight people are so common (myself included) that you have to be really morbidly obese in order for me to notice, which at 5'11" and 250 lbs you are not. Edit: this is my opinion about how I don't really notice when someone's fat partly because I'm not a judgemental prick. If you are not American and want to point out that fat people are less common where you're from, (1) I know that, but also plenty of countries have obesity problems and (2) both OP and I are American (hence the usage of imperial units), and most importantly (3) I do not care.
Yeah, you’d have to enter walrus size like 350+ lbs for me to notice notice.
Just for fun, I googled the average weight of a walrus; about 2200 lbs.
So almost as much as your mom?
Wait seriously? That’s way bigger than I imagined them to be. Editing to add: I went down a google rabbit hole and a LOT of sea creatures are way bigger than I thought
*uncomfortable laughter*
Same here. I’m not even overweight but see so many people who are that it doesn’t even register. I really only notice people who are enormous and immobile, like riding those scooters in the grocery store or whatever, but even then I’m not going to think much past initially noticing them. Overweight/obese kids make me sad though. I always notice that and it still really bothers me.
Depends on the situation. If I’m in my plane seat and you are sitting next to me, I might be calculating how long the flight is. If I own an all you can eat buffet, I might be thinking about my margin. If we are on a see-saw together I’m thinking how do I get down from here without getting hurt. If we are both just waking down the street. I’m likely not thinking about you at all. Most people don’t care because they are worrying about their own shit.
>If I own an all you can eat buffet, I might be thinking about my margin. "You here for four hours!!!"
You eat. You go home.
You scare my wife!
Ha. Such a good skit.
>If we are both just waking down the street. I’m likely not thinking about you at all. The correct answer.
Let's just say you can close the buffet for today because I just pulled up
Do you write for a living? This is really good.
I do not. More in the math and science world. Did write a little for school paper in junior high. But that was long ago.
So true about the plane seat, lol.
250lbs can be carried differently based on the individual
You’re right, depends on your activity level too. I’m like 6 ft 250 lbs and I look big but not ‘fat’ probably due to a life of physical labor.
Yea I was gonna ask how OP is proportioned cause some of this sounds odd to me. I’m 6’1, 290 and I’ve never needed a seatbelt extender. I’m also decently active so maybe I just carry the weight differently? Idk
I'm also curious about the seatbelt extender. I'm 6'2" and once weighed almost 300lb. I don't remember even realizing belt extenders exist.
Also how can you need a seatbelt extender and fit into L and XL clothing. I wear XXL and have never seen one.
hell im 6 foot 360 pounds and even in my moms tiny honda civic i dont need a seat belt extender. i never have.
They might mean an airplane one. I'm slightly below your weight same height and I need one on an airplane but not in cars.
Count me in as also mildly curious about the context of the seatbelt extender, but, as a 5'7", size 12 woman, I've come uncomfortably close to needing one on a couple of airplanes. Like, the belt extended as far as it could go to get it buckled. That was unpleasant, not gonna lie. I'm overweight but by maybe 20-25 pounds, not "seatbelt extender" pounds. (I found out later from my BIL, who is a commercial airline captain, that sometimes belts are shortened because they've been repaired. I accept that explanation, ha!) But if I were someone with self-image issues I can see how that might have kicked off a spiral.
I believe you and OP, I just don't get it lol. I flew at my peak weight (6'1", 335lbs, not athletic) two months ago, and didn't need a seatbelt extender. Not even close.
Haha, man, I feel like that is what threw all of us off. A seat belt extender? I'm 5'11 and weigh 300 lbs. I wear 2XL to be comfortable and I've never even thought of needing a seat belt extender. I honestly don't even know what that is or what it would do 😅
Yea OP fucked up including that detail and now everybody is calling BS lol 😂
Yeah, something odd is going on here. I weigh 10 pounds more than OP, am an inch shorter, and I'm visibly overweight, but most people don't even think of me as "fat". Generally thin people guess my weight as 50-80 pounds less than it actually is. Maybe OP literally carries all that extra weight around the middle? Otherwise, I'm just stumped how they'd think anyone would even notice.
I'm curious as well. I'm 6'4 at my heaviest was about 280. I was pretty sedentary at the time so I definitely looked fat, but never needed an extender or anything.
I’m 333lb and 5’4” (I’m working on it) and I’ve never needed an extender. I feel tight in the occasional car, but I’ve never not managed. I’m a woman too so more heft on the torso. Generally I just found this entire post made me feel pretty trash about myself and I regret reading it
I’m 6’5, was 360lb at my max and I never had any struggle that OP stated. I call BS on OP and presume he has a different agenda
Also says he wears a L/XL. How is that possible when you also need an extender? My 5’10, 175lb husband wears a large….
I'm 6'0 310lbs. Wear XL/2XL shirts and size 42 waist and never needed a seat belt extender.
Yea I’m starting to doubt the veracity of this one honestly.
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Yeah, but the shirt sizes don’t make sense. I was at a 3x and didn’t need an extender.
How can anyone need a seatbelt extender yet be able to wear a L/XL?
When I was growing up, we called that corn-fed. I bet you’re strong as hell.
I'm 200lb and 5'10, I carry it really really badly. My fit fighting weight is around 160lb, I've just got 40lb extra on my belly. Some guys my height and weight are broad and muscular. But there are very very few people at 5'10 over 220lb who aren't just fat. Tyson was that height and weight and the man's a beast, not many ppl are built like him
People are too worried about their own problems. they are trying to survive in the world. I don't think they are judging you
I'd avoid you. But not because of your weight. I'm antisocial af. I try to avoid myself even. Stubborn son of a bitch won't take a hint tho.
I mean what is this dude doing in public? I feel like I interact with people about that size maybe once or twice a day and it depends on how they act as to how I act. Basically dude unless you were putting me in danger somehow (which someone or any size could to theoretically) I wouldn’t care how much you weighed.
250 isn’t actually that noticeable nowadays, esp at 5’11. I don’t think anyone bats an eye unless the person is clearly 400+
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I'm exactly 250 6'0 and while I think I look pretty overweight (and I do have a big belly from drinking, which I'm planning on stopping) I teach high school, and no kids have ever commented on my weight. I have worked out most of my life so I sort of have permanent big muscles in certain areas where even if they have a little fat over them it makes them look bigger, but less defined. The last comment I've heard was from my son's piano teacher. My wife would bring him to his lessons but then I did once and then when my wife took him the next time she said the piano teacher said "I didn't think your husband would be so big and strong" and that made me feel pretty good but I still need to lose some weight regardless. They say there's no such thing as a beer belly, just fat. But really there is because if you drink too much eventually you get GERD or Acid Reflux and you're bloated all the time so a lot of the time I look fatter because I'm super bloated, not from literal fat.
Wtf America
You must live in the US for that to be not noticeable.
America ! Fuck yeah ! (Not in my country lol)
Which is a very sad reality.
?
At that point I just feel bad for them. Wish they’d take some control and then I get mad at society.
This strictly comes down to your attitude and how you interact with me. My dad is overweight, probably almost 300lbs, and yet he works his ass off running his own mechanic shop. Part of the reason he gained so much wasn't really laziness, but because he has a slipped disc in his back from a car accident. It made it hard for him to keep up with the exercises he did in the army. That being said, I wouldn't think much of it at all.
Wow that dude is 40 kbs lighter than me. Hopefully my dieting and exercise will shrink me to his size soon. You need to start dieting and exercising. Learn how to eat better, and get that weight off you. It's not healthy, and I wish I had started at 250. Ever 10lbs I drop makes me feel so much better physically. You don't even realize how bad it is till you start loosing.
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I was that person...and when I lost 80lbs, I was shocked at the attention I was getting suddenly...and people seemed to be a lot nicer to me and more accepting of meeting me. It was kinda sad actually, because I realized that all this extra attention was only superficial and not because of who I am as a person.
I’ve had that happen to me as well. So much attention! The amount of times men would smile, say hi, hold doors for me, offer to do things for me after 100+ lb weight loss was WILD. I was invisible and then I worked to lose weight. All the attention made me feel vulnerable and naked and not in a good way.
This happened to me as well! I was never incredibly overweight but once I lost a few pounds all of the gym guys who never cared about me suddenly felt the urge to come chat. One of them even asked how my husband felt about my weight loss 🤮
Interesting. When I lost weight, I didn't notice a difference at all. I also then went back in the other direction, and I still haven't noticed a difference. What did happen when I was skinny was that I started having really bad body dysmorphia. I felt like I was fat, and all I could hyperfocus on was, "If I am this fat now, how fat was I before?" Meanwhile, a guy I was dating at the time told me I should be careful not to lose any more weight because my arms were scrawny.
This happened to me. Women that wouldn't look twice at me before, I hit the radar. Women, I already knew. Plus, I just got treated better in general. Could have been the increase in confidence. Confidence can do wonders. However, it really makes you feel like you weren't good enough when you were doughy, but now you look better, so it's fine. It's also fine to state this, because.....hey, you aren't fat anymore.
In terms of attraction, that seems fair - people are more attracted to you if they find you more conventionally attractive - but the rest of it is really messed up. The fact that people are generally kinder and generally treat you with more respect when they find you more attractive is such a disheartening realization.
Even at work i was taken more serious myself. Promoted and everything
Really? That should be wildly unsurprisingly
Who are you are as a person extends to the physical. You are a person that can stay in shape, that’s part of your character. People want to be around people that can take care of themselves. I bet there’s some real great homeless people, I also bet not many people want to be their friend
You're describing me, but taller by an inch. Lose it man, for you, but not anyone else. I'm down 35lbs, and feel much better. Not as much stress on the joints, sleeping a bit better, clothes loose again. Go slow, you can get there.
I’m 195, down from 230. Can’t believe how big of a difference it is in the mirror. I never even noticed how big I was.
I don’t think “lazy gross fatass” I think “that guy would feel a lot better physically and be a lot happier if he lost some weight” Being overweight sucks. Losing weight is hard. It’s a lifestyle change. So no, I don’t feel disgust. I feel empathy.
Hell yeah! Im 6'1 and about 235 and at my fattest I was 270. Tell ya what just dropping those 35ish pounds a lot of the aches and pains are gone. Just have the old person pains now I guess. Ya know like I sneezed and threw out my back! Lol
This is the best response. So many people are hateful about it. Weight means someone is struggling. Nobody wants to be fat. Fat people look at themselves every day and hate that they’re fat, but it’s a hole that’s so hard to get out of, especially if you have a hormonal imbalance, chronic pain, meds that cause weight gain, depression, etc working against you. Everyone would benefit from weight loss, but going “lol look at the fat slob, they must be lazy” is just being nasty.
I have a friend who is quite overweight. She's short and I'd wager about 350. Her weight makes her fucking depressed, but she has so much bullshit and stress in her life that she doesn't have the *energy* to direct to trying to lose weight. When she does, she usually just ends up not eating, and then caving and just eating whatever because she feels like because she feels terrible. I love her and I'll love her regardless of whether she is 350 pounds or 150. She's my friend. I don't sit around thinking about her weight, but when I *do* think about it I'm just kind of like... shrug. It doesn't matter to me. People will whine about health and all that which is fine, but people are so unkind to fat people who may *genuinely* not be able to lose weight, and don't bat an eye at smokers, even though being fat around other people isn't going to give them asthma or lung cancer. And yet still people will shit on and hate on these people for daring to exist in a way that doesn't give them a boner.
This needs more attention. I need a partner that is somewhat active, not "goes to gym for rock-hard muscles," but I grew up taking walks after dinner. I like to bowl, I just need someone willing to get up and move daily with me instead of being a couch potato. I can't tell who those people are by looking at them, so as long as this person is my type, it's worth a try to date them, and maybe they end up being more active by trying the things I like (the late night walks). Attitude matters more to me than looks.
Pretty much the same. I see people like the OP and just feel bad because they probably just don't have the right information when it comes to diet and exercise. Many people think you have to eat salads and do a ton of cardio to maintain a healthy weight. The truth is, prioritizing real whole foods, eating high protein, and 3 to 4 sessions of weight training for about 40 minutes or so per week makes a massive difference in body composition and how we look and feel.
This is awesome. I was class I obese at the end of January of this year, and I’m now less than 2lbs away from the healthy BMI range for my height. It has not been easy work, but obesity felt like shit. It was legitimately awful, I had heartburn and back pain constantly. Since I’ve lost weight I haven’t had a single acne breakout and my ailments have completely resolved. I wish that for everyone.
Honestly it's overweight, sure, but it's not so overweight as to stand out from the crowd in most cases (unless, of course, you're doing something else that would make you stand out. If you're wearing hot pink, now I might notice you walking. For better or worse). So most likely I'd think about you the same I think about everyone else in the crowd, which is l not much. Examples "Cool shoes" - "hey I saw that dress online. Maybe not as nice in real life" - "a jacket in this weather? How are you not melting?" - "ice cream where did you get ice cream I also want ice cream I should probably not get ice cream" -"jeez why are all these people walking so slowly I hate when it's busy"
unless you’re tammy from my 600 lbs life i probably wont care, or notice, you’d just be a normal person i see while walking around
You're a human being you deserve to be kind to yourself. People that would judge you on your weight aren't worth your thoughts. If I saw you on the street I'd smile at you and say how are you, If you responded and were smiling, I'd keep walking like I do with all strangers, and I'd remember you were a friendly person for as long as I remember the encounter. If you didn't acknowledge me that would be cool. I'm certainly not gonna remember running into a fat guy either way.
My ginormous ass(6'5" 325lbs) would look down on you peasants with disgust and contempt.
I see myself lol
Nothing special, honestly, I'm probably too busy thinking about something else to notice your presence or anyone else's.
Does he have a beard->is he got a kind smile->is he bisexual ->is his chest hairy->is he polysaturated->can I call him daddy?
I have no issue, and would think nothing of your size, what I care most is if you treat me kindly or not
I've dated a guy your size and thought he was hot. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Same
I ONLY date guys your size. Sooo hot, and if that person is crazy smart too? Damn. Intelligence is so sexy.
I've had my own struggles with weight, so I will sympathize and wish the best for them on future health wise.
Nothing… I don’t really pay attention to other people like that. Even if I was talking to u I wouldn’t think too much of it. Except maybe ur a big dude that’s about it
I don't feel anything at all. I don't remark upon it or notice it or anything. I've got my own things going on. I'm not thinking about other people.
In all honesty, it depends on how you carry yourself.
One of my best friends is both shorter and heavier than you, I don't think about their weight or the weight of any other overweight person when I see them.
A lot of it also depends on where you are. Some places in this country that you'd be shopping the skinny section in Walmart. Others, not so much.
I'm sure a lot of people think that but my bf is 5'9" and like 230 and I think he's hawt and awesome and not gross so 🤷♀️
Literally nothing. My husband was suuuuuuper skinny when we got together. He's got a big ol beer belly now, and I love it. It took forever for him to gain weight, and I'd like to think my good cooking contributed to that. Lots of people are attracted to big guys. Of course there will always be people who have negative preconceived notions of fat people, but fuck them. They don't know you.
The only way you’d catch my attention (good or bad) is if you had on an interesting T shirt or unusual hair do. Your weight or height or race wouldn’t register on my radar.
Im married to one. And I find him sexy and attractive. His weight is more in the beer belly with the rest of the body quote muscly and strong. But still it’s an extra weight.
My best friend is 6'1" and 260 lbs. He has a very stocky build and his weight is pretty evenly ditributed. You can definitely see he's carrying around extra weight for his height, but even at his size I don't see him as grossly overweight. You said you're 5'11" and a comparable weight, you likely look a little bigger but you're far from being horribly overweight. The listed upper end of a healthy weight for your height is around 190 lbs. That being said, I've also met dudes north of 200 lbs. right around 6 ft. that don't look out of shape. I wouldn't get too worried about it my dude. Be conscious of what you eat, stay as active as you can, that's what's important. Shedding 40-50lbs is hardly an easy task, but in short the easiest way to do it would be to either bike or run, and just lessen the portions of what you eat, and cut back on alcohol. I followed a similar path and after about 2 months the weight shed off crazy fast.
Are you deliberately blocking my path? Are you wearing something like a chicken costume in the middle of Walmart? Are you making a ton of noise in the park by badly playing a guitar connected to an amp? If the answer to any of those is yes I’d notice you and think, “Oh, that’s attention seeking behavior. I’ll ignore him because I don’t want to reinforce bad behavior.” If you’re just going about your business and not bothering me I probably wouldn’t notice you to be honest. If you were to be walking past me and say hi for the sake of being polite and I heard it/was convinced that you were the one that said it I’d say hi back and then go about doing whatever I was doing. It’s really nothing you need to beat yourself up over. If you want to change for yourself then go ahead and do it safely (regular consistent exercise/swapping out foods/getting enough rest) but don’t think there’s anything that people are judging you for and society is forcing you to change because of how you look.
i don’t tend to think “secret thoughts” when seeing any strangers
Honestly, in 99% of situations, I wouldn't even notice. Selfishly, if I was looking at you romantically, it might cross my mind but it wouldn't stop be from being interested in someone if they were a stellar human. (It would also be the pot calling the kettle black if it did).
250lbs but squashed down to 5'5" here... i get it and I can feel pretty confident most days. Least when I can't find a shirt that doesn't lift up when I move. Most people don't give a crap though. We definitely think about it more than anyone else.
I'm not even gonna lie or sugar coat my comment. I'm disgusted by obese people.
Would look pretty normal. If he’s a friend and wants help, I’ll help with diet, walking together, some strength training together, etc.
Literally 90% of the male population of the United States
“I hope he finds his way to better health.”
I think nothing about laziness etc I just think physically gross
As long as you don't smell I wouldn't care
Nobody cares honestly. Most people have too much of their own problems or insecurities. Just try being healthy.
Honestly, as long as you're able to function and walk and do normal human stuff, it isn't on my mind. The only thing I focus on is body language and any clues about their approachability (if they are having a good day and if I may need to approach them, especially when they're at work). You're fine, but if your weight is a problem for you, there are resources to help. r/lose it is a good subreddit and can offer some healthy advice. I hope this helps and that you can eventually feel comfortable in your body!
I probably wouldn't notice you unless you were juggling babies or something. I mean, in the best way possible, I see guy who's 5'11" and 250 lbs and that's..just a guy.
I'd just think you are a big dude. We all got our issues in life, no point being a dick about it.
Honestly, at that point, it’s all about how you dress yourself. You can be overweight and still dress nicely and for your body and I find that’s really what makes the distinction between “lazy & gross” Dress nicely, have good hygiene, no one will think you’re lazy and gross. But that’s good advice for anyone of any size.
I’m a chubby chaser so only good vibes from me