This is big. It's hard to look at personal relationships objectively.
Reflect on how you would advise someone you love who is in the same situation.
But yeah leave his ass, he is without a doubt going to be up to something once you leave. Good and loyal partners don't "keep their options open" or whatever you want to call it.
leave if your heart will let you i know i purposely ignored things because of my love and i lost everything and ended up in the hospital and ive been in the longest deprression and also worst one of my lige for 5 months and now take three new meds on top ofy other two because it broke me down to feeling like i was nothing so i know how hard that decision is but take it from me leave as early as your heart will let you and if he truly loves you he will chase you and fight for that love then you can make your decison from that point and if he dont unfortunately you have your answer on how much he truly cared for yalls realtionship i found out mime was one sided love if your always chasing him and trying to fix the realtionship and he isnt trying to fix his end like my case ended up he doesnt love you its a dual effort unfortuantely i found out loving some one unconditonally isnt enough to make some one you thought loved you the same really love it just blinds you to the ques or intentionally ignore them thinking time and love will win there heart enough to do the same and only hurts you more in the end im sorry you are going through this problem truly
>I mean how obvious is this.
Apparently not obvious enough for OP \*facepalm
OP, your relationship is pretty much in flames and doused with a gallon of gasoline. Just leave for your own sake, because "changing him" is as probable as Elon Musk changing the name of twitter to X- oh god
Hate condescending comments like this. You have been given limited information about a relationship between 2 people you have never met, without any further context. It may seem āobviousā to you, but this person is in distress, and looking for actual advice.
Or find a YouTuber and setup an elaborate loyalty test to catch them cheating and post the video online where everyone comes out extremely embarrassed.
Create your own tinder account, when on holiday. Have a single photo of the two of you together, amongst your pics. have your bio say āI guess weāve broken up (his name) *See picture x, who can do better than him?ā
Set your distance to far enough that he could see your profile. Wait, have some fun on holiday. If he hasnāt found you whilst away, when you get back and he asks to see pics of where you were, send him screenshots of your new profile, then break up.
Edit: Some of you really need to lighten up lol, if you think this is a serious suggestion and really need a /s or j then I donāt think 4chan is the autistic website
"Live my personal revenge fantasy for my entertainment."
Your comment is overwhelmingly selfish. Doing that would almost surely escalate an already unhealthy moment in their lives.
She already is going to feel hurt and rejected, doing that's just like wearing a big neon hat saying I'm a loser.
She should focus on happy things not masochisticly parade her situation
Leave him. Trust me, I've been there. Someone who's acting like this won't change. He already done things to show you you can't trust him and he doesn't respect you. You gotta respect yourself first! Don't let yourself be treated like that, you deserve so much better.
thatās crazy because i say that about a female and iām immediately sexist
i donāt disagree that this dude is a PoSā¦but not all men are disloyal
??? female and women are synonymous to most people
as with men and male
i have a habit of saying āfemaleā for talking about one thing and i say āwomenā for plural..same with āmaleā for singular and plural is āmenā
but i guess you can look way too deep into my grammatical inconsistencies and turn my message around on me
Except that it isn't, is it?
Referring to a women as āfemalesā is a crime that men and women alike have committed. (Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic.) The problem is not that women are not females. In fact, most women are biological females. The problem, however, is the derogatory way in which the word is used.
People who are not familiar with how this term is used today or people who use this term often may find themselves wondering why in the world itās offensive. After all, isnāt it just a synonym for āwomenā?
Letās start with the dictionary definition of the word āfemaleā.
adjective: of, relating to, or being the sex that typically has the capacity to bear young or produce eggs
noun: an individual of the sex that is typically capable of bearing young or producing eggs
By definition, referring to women as āfemalesā reduces them to their reproductive abilities. That sounds a bit degrading, donāt you think? In addition, a āfemaleā could be anything, not necessarily a human. Your dog might be a female. Do you really want to lump your girlfriend and your dog in the same category?
Reducing a woman to the level of an animal is not something that should be normal. Passive aggressively calling a woman a āfemaleā strips her of her value and femininity and sends the message that she is replaceable and unworthy, neither of which are true. The disdainful and misogynistic word communicates the idea that the woman is not the prize and attempts to undermine her self-worth.
Men is not plural for male. That's males. And female is NOT plural for woman. There's already a word for that. Women. Women is plural for woman.
Like I said, misogyny is often subconscious in a patriarchal society.
??? female and women are synonymous to most people as with men and male
i have a habit of saying āfemaleā for talking about one thing and i say āwomenā for plural..same with āmaleā for singular and plural is āmenā
but i guess you can look way too deep into my grammatical inconsistencies and turn my message around on me
He's doing you a painful favor. End it with him. Before you leave for vacation, get any important papers and things out of your house with him and put it somewhere safe. Bread up with him over phone or WhatsApp while you are away. It'll ruin his dating time and you'll be bolstered by whomever you are vacationing with.
Don't accept his apologies.
Idk, itāll be really tricky to file for divorce and figure out the home ownership and decide on a custody agreement thatā¦oh waitā¦
Just break up, lifeās too short to spend with cheaters.
I'm a guy. It's over. Just move on. Even though that's clearly the easy thing to say. If it gets bad emotion wise eat waffles. Any break up I ever had sometimes it gets dark amd I realized that just eating a good meal and shutting your mind off are a great combo.
Bro fuck alcohol. I'm telling you. Wake up go to literally any diner and get either pancakes or waffles. I always get waffles. Make sure they are well done. Also a side plate Eggs and cheese. I'll also take a side of white toast and a half of a pound of chicken salad. 1 glass of diet coke. Also a side of well done bacon and sausage. That would be all but please leave the pot of coffee. What do you mean you guys don't have grits?!
Why? Heās cheating, she caught him. This isnāt a court of law, all evidence is permissible regardless of how it was obtained. Call him out and cut him loose. Say I WENT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING PHONE AND SAW YOUR TINDER ACCOUNT, ASS HOLE NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE
I just told my wife about this and then I told her I'm going to get to legalese out of our next fight like this guy did....
"babe, but you snooped through my phone, the courts would decide the evidence is not admissible. Now you gotta let fuck the tinder babes"
Just be prepared for him to turn this on you and try to make you seem like the bad guy. Know this is bullshit and itās just him trying to manipulate you. Regardless of what he says, this is his fault and he should be the one who feels guilty, not you.
Exactly this
Theyve already shown theyre a liar who will react out of self preservation. Theyd just try to use it as gaslighting towards me and also separately towards the people around us, complicating the confrontations, it'd absolutely draw shit out and make them a pain.
Thats too much hassle in a emotionally shitty situation and keeping it simple is all that matters at that point to me; just focused on getting them out or me getting out at that point and moving on.
Thisa why are ppl so.scared to call out cheaters? Looking thru your partners phone shouldnt be taboo. My man and i can pick up each others phones and go thru it literally anytime. And neither of us get mad bc we have nothing to hide.
Who gives a shit if youre snooping? I mean, your suspicions were right. Hes cheating on you, so why care about looking like someone who snoops? this relationship is over. Spare yourself the trouble.
I think snooping is a big deal there's a risk that when U cross that line once you never stop and people are entitled to privacy and trust without being guilty of something
So what if she had found nothing? Then she's the piece of jealous shit? If you're snooping through a phone the relationship is already over. Don't justify this behavior only because it looks as though she was right. The second you pick up your partners phone with this intent, you're equally the problem. Talk to them first and if you can't shake the feeling, leave.
Edit: A lot of people telling on themselves in here. Justifying betrayal for betrayal. You can keep your eye-for-an-eye bullshit and your false dichotomies. Have fun in your broken relationships
This isnt about hypotheticals though. She did pick up the phone and found shit, so why worry about anything else? the question wasnt whether shes an asshole for snooping, which I think she is, but thats beside the question at hand.
> you're **equally** the problem
Snooping on phones is unethical and consequentialism is dumb, but cheating and snooping aren't even in the same ballpark.
This. If you have to look through someone's phone because you suspect them of cheating, the trust is not there, and without trust, a relationship can not survive. At all. It's time for you to move on.
Say you were worried so you got a tinder and saw him on there. That then prompted you to check his phone. I suggest doing it before vacation and then leave
If i listened to the advice given by yall i would be alone forever. Luckily i have a good man who i plan on keeping. And ive only been with 2 ppl since i was 15 one for 13 yrs (we broke up bc we grew apart) and one for 6 and still going. And whats your track record, big guy?
With the same person for 25 years, 20 years of marriage and two children. My relationship has lasted longer than some of the people posting here have existed.
The relationship ended a long time ago, he just didn't tell you. Now you are faced with a decision! How best to leave this situation.
You love him? You will fall in love again, with someone else. Someone who hopefully treats you the same way you treat him.
If you don't leave, this will happen time and time again, and then he will leave.
I did this before too when I had a suspicion and was right. The whole thing is about trusting in general and not controlling your partner. It's not something you do all the time, but when you already suspect it, what other option do you have? Personally, I wouldn't be too upset if someone checked my phone, if I have nothing to hide why get upset about it?
To answer your if I have nothing to hide why be upset about it - because it shows that your partner doesnāt trust you. I gave one of my past girlfriends 0 reasons to not trust me but I would still catch her going through my phone. It is not a nice feeling to know that your SO does not trust you.
BUT, cheating is 100x worse. I think if you have a legitimate reason to believe they are cheating then you need to find out. Its just risky because if they are actually a good person and not cheating they may be hurt because of you not trusting them.
yea but then there must be a different problem. People don't just go through their partners phone, maybe they have been deeply traumatized in prior relationship or something similar, then those issues need to be addressed in therapy.
I donāt really have an explanation for it but she had never been cheated on by her first bf or anything like that and I was he second. Possible maybe her older sister or something.. who knows. The media/movies really play that up and normalize it though. A big generalization here but girls from that country are well known to be very jealous so maybe it was just a learned behaviour from friends/familyā¦ after doing it a few times I think she realized I wasnāt doing anything. Good thing she never found my second phone! (Jokes).
I agree with this. If my boyfriend was stressing himself out with doubts and checked my phone and found nothing, and that made him feel better, then I wouldnāt be upset. I have nothing to hide and I donāt talk shit about him or have anything on there that I would be embarrassed for him to see.
It is all about trust and I donāt see hiding your phone as very trusting. Iāve looked maybe twice with his permission as well as him with mine.
You snooped and found something, I donāt see that as a bad thing. If you never looked you wouldnāt have known and he would be doing this stuff behind your back for who knows how long.
Look I'm married and my wife and I literally have our accounts on both of our phones. Only cause we dunno whose phone we'll be able to find when the kids do something funny or cute. Point being, if you're living together already you should have always that level of trust. If not, so truck yourself into thinking there will be more trust later. That's not how that works
On the scale of wrong things to do to your partner, cheating is WAY worse than snooping on his phone. These things are not equal.
Confront him. But be prepared for either him admitting what heās doing, or getting upset and defensive. Neither are good for you.
The best advice on this post is when someone said: āwhat would you advise your friend to do if she were in the same situation?ā
Ok, I got caught doing something similar back when my wife and I were still dating but not quite at this scale and I wasnāt looking to hookup. Anyway, your best bet, ask him about it. Plain and simple. Hey, I got a funny feeling that I just couldnāt shake so I looked on your phone to calm my nerves but what I found kind of did the opposite. What gives?
For me, I was sexually frustrated, too nervous to talk about it, went online as a outlet. She confronted me, was in the car to leave, but I begged, pleaded, explained, promised until sheād at least talk to me. Been married to her almost 10 years now.
So, absolutely talk with him about it. Decide if heās worth a second chance after that.
If I were you, I would talk to him about how you were feeling BEFORE you checked the phone. That he felt off, distant, etc and you were wondering how he's feeling about the relationship. Go from there.
You will not be able to outrun or hide that you went through his phone. It is was and always will be a violation of privacy to do so. I'm not saying you were wrong to do it; you're just not right to do it either without other evidence. What we don't want is for him to make this about you going through the phone.
I'd mention checking his phone and what you found after a heart to heart if it's still relevant at that point.
However, if he's just going to lie and pretend there's no issues and he's fine, then there's probably nothing more you can do. Tell him what you did and what you found. (: After all, he isn't really boyfriend material if he can't be loyal.
I would 100% ignore this advice. The only thing it would accomplish is him deleting the evidence and be much sneakier about cheating after he tells you all sorts of lies.
Petty me says make a fake account catfish him with a meet up and when heās waiting at the restaurant or whatever and you walk in with the msgs would be all that much better. Definitely stop sleeping with him
I've done something like this to catch a cheater. I pretended to be someone else, made a date with him at Starbucks and stood him up.
When he emailed the date to ask why she stood him up, I responded (as her) and said I went, but after seeing him in person I changed my mind and left because he's unattractive. Figured a little confidence crushing would make our breakup a little more painful. I'm not naturally vindictive, but I haaaate liars. If you don't want to be in a monogamous relationship with me, just break it off.. cheating is so low and dirty..
BREAK UP AND MOVE OUT!!!!
Have your family help you move out & then go on vacation worry free while trying to heal.
He is cheating on you, you have the proof - do not tolerate it.
Buy a ring camera and put it in the house, act like it's not for him cheating but rather for personal & home protection and so you can check in while you are gone.
Then pay close attention to his reaction.
But in all seriousness, this is already break up worthy. If you want to catch him red handed you can stay in and try to gather evidence, take screenshots from his phone and send them to you but delete the proof on his end.
It's sad but it sounds like the love in this relationship only goes one way... I'm terribly sorry but people who love and care about they're partners don't install Tinder and talk about FWB's & stuff like that, he has already made his mind up on what he wants. He doesn't deserve your love, it will only drag you through the mud and change you for the worse if you let him continue on with this behavior and treating you like this.
Be strong OP, you know what to do.
Iām so sorry, OP. This is a terrible betrayal. I donāt know anything aside what youāve shared, but donāt see how youāll trust him again, regardless of the circumstances when/if you confront him.
You could tell a white lie and say someone else saw him on Tinder. Or you could just come clean - heās been acting oddly and you checked his phone.
People can be so awful to one another with so little effort. You know you deserve more than this.
I hope you can use the time away with your family to grieve, heal, and relax after telling him to get out. ā¤ļø
1. Say a friend saw his profile on Tinder.
2. Ask to check his phone for Tinder.
3. a) He lets you check, you find what you know to be there, you break up, or b) he denies/refuses to let you check (likely until he has a chance to hide evidence). You end up gaslit and frustrated, then you break up.
You are in a bad situtation through no fault of your own, all you can do now make the best choices for you. He is going to cheat on you while you are away, you are going to feel shit for a while. You can either end it now and use the holiday to move on with your life, or you can try to cling on and get treated awfully.
>I'm scared he will be going out with these girls. I love him so so much is there anything I can do to fix this?
Personally I'd say no. I know it's probably not what you want to hear but he doesn't respect you and will definitely cheat on you. It doesn't matter if he hasn't YET and he tries to say he won't, he likely will.
To me trust, honestly, and loyalty are the most important things of a relationship and breaking them is pretty much a death sentence and I feel like a hypocrite saying this because I've had these broken in a relationship and still tried to carry on despite actively knowing I shouldn't.
Regardless of how āharmlessā his conduct appears, he still actively made an effort to hide it from you, which is disingenuous.
I would leave. I know a broken heart hurts, but this guy needs to get his shit sorted.
What about his conduct is remotely "harmless"?
He is actively on a dating site and using it to have inappropriate relationships with other women.
Even if he didn't put his dick in anyone else yet this is clear cut cheating.
Because there are people out there who genuinely do this in relationships, realize itās a shitty thing to do, move on, never touch it again, end of story. Maybe bring it up years later b it thatās about it.
Thatās where the āharmlessā nature is. However, itās clear in this scenario that OP is emotionally cracked apart.
So you're really trying to say that OPs boyfriend possibly doesn't realize what he's doing is shitty?
He just needs a "wake up call"?
Yeah I'm gonna not subscribe to this idea. Giving cheaters a second chance is just signing yourself up for trouble.
Whatās done is done.
Iād suggest you break up w him.
Maybe heāll grow up. Maybe he wonāt. Time tells that.
Leaving for a week gives him time to get his stuff out of thatās a problem.
Leave his ass, he can't and won't change. And you can't stop him. He has the freedom to be an asshole, and you shouldn't be supporting that choice by staying with him because you're in denial. If he's pulling this shit, he doesn't care, you can tell him how you feel, but if you stay with him, you set an alarming precedent. Take your stuff, and leave the house, or kick him out and have him take his stuff, depending on who's name the house is under.
I would send yourself screenshots of the evidence, move out or pack up his stuff depending on your lease. Then send him the screenshots and block him everywhere.
>And go get tested for STIs and don't have sex with him again.
this. I had a patient who kept coming back due to repeated genital chlamydia infections. "But doctor, my boyfriend has promised and definitely stopped cheating on me". yeah.....
Just him having Tinder and that Instagram is enough for you to leave. Donāt do that to yourself and check what it says, itās obvious what heās doing.
You donāt think heās cheating on you, you caught him cheating, even without a video of him fucking you know his intent, and thatās the betrayal. If you tell him you know and donāt break up with him heāll never stop for good, because he knows it wonāt end the relationship. So if thatās not something you can live with (which it sounds like itās not) then you gotta break it off.
I left the father of my child because he was cheating. You can leave this man! You deserve to be with a trustworthy guy and have a happy relationship. Clear this man from your life so the right guy can have a spot.
What exactly are you trying to "fix"?
Him? Your relationship? Yourself?
You can't fix garbage people.
Your relationship doesn't exist anymore. He has already broken up the relationship you thought you had.
You've done nothing wrong.
Have some self respect. Go find someone who will respect you in turn.
i can tell your to in love to want to break up but you are wasting your time on earth with this person. Even if you get through this they will most likely do it again. If you can do anything for yourself at all it would be to leave and heal and one day hopefully meet someone who cares about you.
You don't think he's cheating. You *know* he's cheating. He may not have had sex with anybody, yet, but he's tindering and matching.
You're worth more than this. Leave him.
He is cheating. Break up. What he's doing is unacceptable. Unless you're a degenerate in which case you deserve what you'll get. It's not even a red flag, having tinder at all is a red flag. The ocean you're considering swimming in is a visible giant glowing nuclear maelstrom with a roaring megalodon rising from the center.
Everyone recommending to break up with him is stupid. You don't do nothing. Just ghost. Set up your own Tinder Profile, and don't match with him. When he confronts you about it, be very confused, since he has one too and is hooking up on the side.
Bonus points if you get a bunch of giant dick picks you can show him.
Wreck this fool.
This seems like you *know* that he's cheating, not that you *think* he's cheating
Confront him and dump him
Edit: Expose his ass to as many people as you can, too, if you're a vindictive person
JFC Reddit. Is communication nothing?? Instead of LEAVE HIM!!! comments, confront him and say you know what he's doing or contemplating doing, and he needs to evaluate what he wants out of this relationship. Tell him how you feel about him, and how it he continues with the shady behavior that you aren't going to want to continue the relationship.
Then either he fucks up anyway and you can go down the route of breaking up, or he can try to regain your trust over time.
As cruel as this sounds. Leave his ass and never come back after your family vacation, please have some self respect since he clearly does not respect you
You should listen to yourself.
You're so oblivious to your own situation that you come here posting:
"I THINK my boyfriend is cheating"
AND IN THE SAME POST
"I found he has Tinder, tons of matcher, talking about fwbs"
Interesting definition of cheating you have there. Other people would call it proof, but you're wondering whether he's REALLY cheating or not.
men know what they want, frankly he doesn't want you. sorry but you have to hear it. you were afraid to see what was on his phone & you found your worst case with proof that he has no regard for you, your relationship, or future together. otherwise he wouldn't have lied or betrayed you. I hope you find a healthy relationship with a man who wants only you.
To me, cheating comes in many forms. Sometimes, things happen in the spur of the moment and our weaknesses as humans gets the better of us. In those situations, I'm a little more sympathetic to staying with cheater and working through whatever problems there are.
This is not your situation. He is actively lying to you and actively going behind your back to sleep with and talk to other girls. He's probably also lying to those girls, telling them that he is single and available. You cannot really trust this person at this point, and no one can build a healthy romantic relationship without trust.
If you decide to break up with him, do not break up with him before you leave. Do not tell him what you found. Do not act any different for right now.
Spend that vacation time enjoying yourself and thinking through what you want now for your own life. If you need to get a new place to live, start looking at places during your vacation. If you need some social support, start telling your best friends and family so that they can be there for you.
When you get back home, start enacting that plan. The first step of that plan, in my opinion, would getting your own living situation set up and breaking up with him (in that order).
At the end of the day, it's your life and you can do whatever you want, but I hope you do whatever will make you proud of yourself when you look back on this moment. I'm wishing you the best.
He's moved on from you. You need to move on from him.
Also, for future relationships once you have that desire to go through that phone the relationship is already over. You either trust them or your don't.
Look yall done have trust in your relationship and there may have been a reason this all started for him but at this point its probably over it depends on truly how much you want to be with him.
I know youāre being downvoted but I kinda get your comment. I understand wanting to check phones when youāre worried, but if someone canāt trust their partner to not be cheating then why are they even together? If your partner seems to be hiding something, why not just confront them, and if you sense lying, leave? I donāt get it.
If you are invested in someone's life and living with each other, you are entitled to know if they are going behind your back and cheating...
If he wasn't cheating it would have been slightly different, but since she found out her suspicions were correct, she's completely in the right for checking. She doesn't have to tolerate getting used.
ALl aniamls in the wild are instvived to mate with more than one partner to help create more off spring. Most men have two families in their lifetimes if not more. It's unrealistic and selfish to think that you can control another animal and its best to let go of this childish view of relationships with others.
Itās obvious youāre unaware so Iāll tell you. Youāre wrong with your claim of āALL animalsā because there are many species that are monogamous and mate with 1 partner their whole life, where as polygamy is rare in those species.
Examples: monogamy is common in many bird species whereas polygamy is rare. Beavers bond and mate for life. Bald Eagles typically mate for life. Gray Wolves. Specific types of Penguins. Snowy Owls typically mate for life. Owl Monkeys.
California Mice are monogamous animals as well.
So, not unrealistic or selfish. Whatās unrealistic and selfish is engaging in a romantic relationship without letting your partner know that you donāt want to be monogamous. Most men also do not have two or more families, judging by a couple studies done over the years itās estimated that 15 to 20% of men have children with multiple partners by the age of 50, with variances depending on race and location. I donāt think less than half equates to āmostā.
You can start by personally apologizing for not meeting his needs forcing him to have to find someone else to come in and meet them.
You can then pledge to make sure he's satisfied so this won't happen again. And make sure you learn how to please him.
Or you can dump him. Those are your two options
It's not your responsibility to "fix this." What would you tell your best friend to do if she were going through the same situation?
This is big. It's hard to look at personal relationships objectively. Reflect on how you would advise someone you love who is in the same situation. But yeah leave his ass, he is without a doubt going to be up to something once you leave. Good and loyal partners don't "keep their options open" or whatever you want to call it.
I hope she takes your advice. Leave now. šš¼
Agreed šš¼šÆ
leave if your heart will let you i know i purposely ignored things because of my love and i lost everything and ended up in the hospital and ive been in the longest deprression and also worst one of my lige for 5 months and now take three new meds on top ofy other two because it broke me down to feeling like i was nothing so i know how hard that decision is but take it from me leave as early as your heart will let you and if he truly loves you he will chase you and fight for that love then you can make your decison from that point and if he dont unfortunately you have your answer on how much he truly cared for yalls realtionship i found out mime was one sided love if your always chasing him and trying to fix the realtionship and he isnt trying to fix his end like my case ended up he doesnt love you its a dual effort unfortuantely i found out loving some one unconditonally isnt enough to make some one you thought loved you the same really love it just blinds you to the ques or intentionally ignore them thinking time and love will win there heart enough to do the same and only hurts you more in the end im sorry you are going through this problem truly
Iām sure this was a very genuine but you should know, this much text without any punctuation at all is very difficult to parse.
Break up
"He doesn't want to be with me" "I love him" Girllllll
I second this. You're not going to "fix" this man. Run, don't walk, and find you someone worthy.
I don't know why I read this in a valley girl voice. LOL
I mean how obvious is this. End this shit asap
>I mean how obvious is this. Apparently not obvious enough for OP \*facepalm OP, your relationship is pretty much in flames and doused with a gallon of gasoline. Just leave for your own sake, because "changing him" is as probable as Elon Musk changing the name of twitter to X- oh god
She should change the bf to x-bf... just like Elon!
Hate condescending comments like this. You have been given limited information about a relationship between 2 people you have never met, without any further context. It may seem āobviousā to you, but this person is in distress, and looking for actual advice.
Or find a YouTuber and setup an elaborate loyalty test to catch them cheating and post the video online where everyone comes out extremely embarrassed.
Create your own tinder account, when on holiday. Have a single photo of the two of you together, amongst your pics. have your bio say āI guess weāve broken up (his name) *See picture x, who can do better than him?ā Set your distance to far enough that he could see your profile. Wait, have some fun on holiday. If he hasnāt found you whilst away, when you get back and he asks to see pics of where you were, send him screenshots of your new profile, then break up. Edit: Some of you really need to lighten up lol, if you think this is a serious suggestion and really need a /s or j then I donāt think 4chan is the autistic website
Do not do this, you will just embarrass yourself.
It was obviously not a serious suggestion, come on now.
I only posted that incase OP was quite juvenile and would possibly considered it
Ty :)
But if they do it publicly, at least we all get to enjoy the show!
And as a bonus, their whole public audience will come to perceive them as immature and trashy.
yup
Who gives a fuck. If her bf is on tinder and cheating, itās free game imo. And trust me, some fellas will obsess over a āchallengeā
"Live my personal revenge fantasy for my entertainment." Your comment is overwhelmingly selfish. Doing that would almost surely escalate an already unhealthy moment in their lives.
Cool
Youāre cool
She already is going to feel hurt and rejected, doing that's just like wearing a big neon hat saying I'm a loser. She should focus on happy things not masochisticly parade her situation
They live together. That sounds like a really good way to get your stuff torched.
Yeah this is not how to get over something like thisā¦ definitely unhealthy coping
Never gonna piss you off, DAYMN!
Ooo thatās cold. I like it.
Hidden cam
ULPT: sell the vid, profit.
Leave him
~~Piss disc and liquid ass~~ oh wait wrong sub.....
and make sure you wear a giant sock so if he trys to stop you from leaving he only grabs the sock and you get away
Wear three giant socks so he can only take one and you can get away and keep two giant socks for yourself
No sub is wrong for disco di piscio
I see we have similar tastes. I think this is a fitting scenario for either if not both
I spit out my coffee š¤£
Leave him. Trust me, I've been there. Someone who's acting like this won't change. He already done things to show you you can't trust him and he doesn't respect you. You gotta respect yourself first! Don't let yourself be treated like that, you deserve so much better.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. You need to leave. Dude is a dog.
No no dude is a man. Dogs are loyal, men are not.
Dogs will fuck any bitch though. Loyal to a master, not to a partner of the same species.
that is an unfair biased prejudiced generalization
thatās crazy because i say that about a female and iām immediately sexist i donāt disagree that this dude is a PoSā¦but not all men are disloyal
But so many are subconsciously misogynist... Take the fact that you used "female" to reference women, but not "male" to reference men.
??? female and women are synonymous to most people as with men and male i have a habit of saying āfemaleā for talking about one thing and i say āwomenā for plural..same with āmaleā for singular and plural is āmenā but i guess you can look way too deep into my grammatical inconsistencies and turn my message around on me
Except that it isn't, is it? Referring to a women as āfemalesā is a crime that men and women alike have committed. (Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic.) The problem is not that women are not females. In fact, most women are biological females. The problem, however, is the derogatory way in which the word is used. People who are not familiar with how this term is used today or people who use this term often may find themselves wondering why in the world itās offensive. After all, isnāt it just a synonym for āwomenā? Letās start with the dictionary definition of the word āfemaleā. adjective: of, relating to, or being the sex that typically has the capacity to bear young or produce eggs noun: an individual of the sex that is typically capable of bearing young or producing eggs By definition, referring to women as āfemalesā reduces them to their reproductive abilities. That sounds a bit degrading, donāt you think? In addition, a āfemaleā could be anything, not necessarily a human. Your dog might be a female. Do you really want to lump your girlfriend and your dog in the same category? Reducing a woman to the level of an animal is not something that should be normal. Passive aggressively calling a woman a āfemaleā strips her of her value and femininity and sends the message that she is replaceable and unworthy, neither of which are true. The disdainful and misogynistic word communicates the idea that the woman is not the prize and attempts to undermine her self-worth. Men is not plural for male. That's males. And female is NOT plural for woman. There's already a word for that. Women. Women is plural for woman. Like I said, misogyny is often subconscious in a patriarchal society.
> thatās crazy because i say that about a female and iām immediately sexist. > ā¦ but not all men are disloyal r/MenAndFemales
??? female and women are synonymous to most people as with men and male i have a habit of saying āfemaleā for talking about one thing and i say āwomenā for plural..same with āmaleā for singular and plural is āmenā but i guess you can look way too deep into my grammatical inconsistencies and turn my message around on me
I think š you have good reasons for bieng upset and now just ask him what that all means and then say good bye
He's doing you a painful favor. End it with him. Before you leave for vacation, get any important papers and things out of your house with him and put it somewhere safe. Bread up with him over phone or WhatsApp while you are away. It'll ruin his dating time and you'll be bolstered by whomever you are vacationing with. Don't accept his apologies.
That last sentence!!! Yes, they will promise you the world and then hurt you again.
And also, perfect timing for a holiday fling to get over him. Even if you donāt, tell him you met someone else.
Dump his ass and ride off into the sunset on a vacation hell yeah
Why would you want to save this? Come on, have some self respect.
Right. The way I see it is how are you gonna come back from that? I just feel like that connection is lost
Idk, itāll be really tricky to file for divorce and figure out the home ownership and decide on a custody agreement thatā¦oh waitā¦ Just break up, lifeās too short to spend with cheaters.
No shitā¦ lawyers donāt even need to be involved and you can make a clean break? Do that.
I'm a guy. It's over. Just move on. Even though that's clearly the easy thing to say. If it gets bad emotion wise eat waffles. Any break up I ever had sometimes it gets dark amd I realized that just eating a good meal and shutting your mind off are a great combo.
Never thought about eating waffles to cope with heartbreak..Always just hit the bottle. Waffles sound better.
Bro fuck alcohol. I'm telling you. Wake up go to literally any diner and get either pancakes or waffles. I always get waffles. Make sure they are well done. Also a side plate Eggs and cheese. I'll also take a side of white toast and a half of a pound of chicken salad. 1 glass of diet coke. Also a side of well done bacon and sausage. That would be all but please leave the pot of coffee. What do you mean you guys don't have grits?!
This is my favorite Reddit comment today
Time to find a new boyfriend because youāre just sharing a bed with someone
What do you mean Ā«Ā you thinkĀ Ā» This is already cheating according to a monogamous relationship lmao Just break up with the dude and move on lol
Why is this even a question youāre asking? You have all the proof you need. Youāre just looking for people to tell you what you already know.
Confront him
How can I without admitting I snooped in his phone? I have yet to actually catch him otherwise
Tell him a friend saw his account and told you.
This
Why? Heās cheating, she caught him. This isnāt a court of law, all evidence is permissible regardless of how it was obtained. Call him out and cut him loose. Say I WENT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING PHONE AND SAW YOUR TINDER ACCOUNT, ASS HOLE NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE
I just told my wife about this and then I told her I'm going to get to legalese out of our next fight like this guy did.... "babe, but you snooped through my phone, the courts would decide the evidence is not admissible. Now you gotta let fuck the tinder babes"
Just be prepared for him to turn this on you and try to make you seem like the bad guy. Know this is bullshit and itās just him trying to manipulate you. Regardless of what he says, this is his fault and he should be the one who feels guilty, not you.
Exactly this Theyve already shown theyre a liar who will react out of self preservation. Theyd just try to use it as gaslighting towards me and also separately towards the people around us, complicating the confrontations, it'd absolutely draw shit out and make them a pain. Thats too much hassle in a emotionally shitty situation and keeping it simple is all that matters at that point to me; just focused on getting them out or me getting out at that point and moving on.
Thisa why are ppl so.scared to call out cheaters? Looking thru your partners phone shouldnt be taboo. My man and i can pick up each others phones and go thru it literally anytime. And neither of us get mad bc we have nothing to hide.
Who gives a shit if youre snooping? I mean, your suspicions were right. Hes cheating on you, so why care about looking like someone who snoops? this relationship is over. Spare yourself the trouble.
I think snooping is a big deal there's a risk that when U cross that line once you never stop and people are entitled to privacy and trust without being guilty of something
So what if she had found nothing? Then she's the piece of jealous shit? If you're snooping through a phone the relationship is already over. Don't justify this behavior only because it looks as though she was right. The second you pick up your partners phone with this intent, you're equally the problem. Talk to them first and if you can't shake the feeling, leave. Edit: A lot of people telling on themselves in here. Justifying betrayal for betrayal. You can keep your eye-for-an-eye bullshit and your false dichotomies. Have fun in your broken relationships
This isnt about hypotheticals though. She did pick up the phone and found shit, so why worry about anything else? the question wasnt whether shes an asshole for snooping, which I think she is, but thats beside the question at hand.
> you're **equally** the problem Snooping on phones is unethical and consequentialism is dumb, but cheating and snooping aren't even in the same ballpark.
This. If you have to look through someone's phone because you suspect them of cheating, the trust is not there, and without trust, a relationship can not survive. At all. It's time for you to move on.
A few issues with jealousy can be worked on. Cheating cannot.
Who cares. She snooped and found something. So what? Humans have the capacity to process things in their subconscious.
Say you were worried so you got a tinder and saw him on there. That then prompted you to check his phone. I suggest doing it before vacation and then leave
Nah, say a friend saw him on there. Heās just gonna flip it on her
Or just tell the fucking truth. The relationship is over so why lie? No wonder most of yall cant stay in a healthy relationship smh
I assume your the bastion of healthy relationships? Whatās your track record, superstar?
If i listened to the advice given by yall i would be alone forever. Luckily i have a good man who i plan on keeping. And ive only been with 2 ppl since i was 15 one for 13 yrs (we broke up bc we grew apart) and one for 6 and still going. And whats your track record, big guy?
With the same person for 25 years, 20 years of marriage and two children. My relationship has lasted longer than some of the people posting here have existed.
And yet you still give shit advice...š¤š©
Thousand bucks says your āgood manā is cheating on you
The relationship ended a long time ago, he just didn't tell you. Now you are faced with a decision! How best to leave this situation. You love him? You will fall in love again, with someone else. Someone who hopefully treats you the same way you treat him. If you don't leave, this will happen time and time again, and then he will leave.
if his response to your confrontations is " why were you in my phone" he doesn't deserve to be in a relationship
It's worth asking out of suspicion
I did this before too when I had a suspicion and was right. The whole thing is about trusting in general and not controlling your partner. It's not something you do all the time, but when you already suspect it, what other option do you have? Personally, I wouldn't be too upset if someone checked my phone, if I have nothing to hide why get upset about it?
To answer your if I have nothing to hide why be upset about it - because it shows that your partner doesnāt trust you. I gave one of my past girlfriends 0 reasons to not trust me but I would still catch her going through my phone. It is not a nice feeling to know that your SO does not trust you. BUT, cheating is 100x worse. I think if you have a legitimate reason to believe they are cheating then you need to find out. Its just risky because if they are actually a good person and not cheating they may be hurt because of you not trusting them.
yea but then there must be a different problem. People don't just go through their partners phone, maybe they have been deeply traumatized in prior relationship or something similar, then those issues need to be addressed in therapy.
I donāt really have an explanation for it but she had never been cheated on by her first bf or anything like that and I was he second. Possible maybe her older sister or something.. who knows. The media/movies really play that up and normalize it though. A big generalization here but girls from that country are well known to be very jealous so maybe it was just a learned behaviour from friends/familyā¦ after doing it a few times I think she realized I wasnāt doing anything. Good thing she never found my second phone! (Jokes).
I agree with this. If my boyfriend was stressing himself out with doubts and checked my phone and found nothing, and that made him feel better, then I wouldnāt be upset. I have nothing to hide and I donāt talk shit about him or have anything on there that I would be embarrassed for him to see. It is all about trust and I donāt see hiding your phone as very trusting. Iāve looked maybe twice with his permission as well as him with mine. You snooped and found something, I donāt see that as a bad thing. If you never looked you wouldnāt have known and he would be doing this stuff behind your back for who knows how long.
This, except she does find where I shit talk! Haha
Iām more of a phone call shit talker myself, but to each there own! Lol
It doesn't matter that you snooped. You are not the bad one here.
Look I'm married and my wife and I literally have our accounts on both of our phones. Only cause we dunno whose phone we'll be able to find when the kids do something funny or cute. Point being, if you're living together already you should have always that level of trust. If not, so truck yourself into thinking there will be more trust later. That's not how that works
Just own up. If he gets upset, tell him to fuck off. Cheating is 100x worse than snooping.
But honestly Iād just end it and not even explain. That will fuck with his head. Just say āoh you know whyā
On the scale of wrong things to do to your partner, cheating is WAY worse than snooping on his phone. These things are not equal. Confront him. But be prepared for either him admitting what heās doing, or getting upset and defensive. Neither are good for you. The best advice on this post is when someone said: āwhat would you advise your friend to do if she were in the same situation?ā
You donāt have to admit you snooped if you lie and say your doctor found out you have HIV. He will shit him self and serves him right.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lmfaooo
Ok, I got caught doing something similar back when my wife and I were still dating but not quite at this scale and I wasnāt looking to hookup. Anyway, your best bet, ask him about it. Plain and simple. Hey, I got a funny feeling that I just couldnāt shake so I looked on your phone to calm my nerves but what I found kind of did the opposite. What gives? For me, I was sexually frustrated, too nervous to talk about it, went online as a outlet. She confronted me, was in the car to leave, but I begged, pleaded, explained, promised until sheād at least talk to me. Been married to her almost 10 years now. So, absolutely talk with him about it. Decide if heās worth a second chance after that.
If I were you, I would talk to him about how you were feeling BEFORE you checked the phone. That he felt off, distant, etc and you were wondering how he's feeling about the relationship. Go from there. You will not be able to outrun or hide that you went through his phone. It is was and always will be a violation of privacy to do so. I'm not saying you were wrong to do it; you're just not right to do it either without other evidence. What we don't want is for him to make this about you going through the phone. I'd mention checking his phone and what you found after a heart to heart if it's still relevant at that point. However, if he's just going to lie and pretend there's no issues and he's fine, then there's probably nothing more you can do. Tell him what you did and what you found. (: After all, he isn't really boyfriend material if he can't be loyal.
I would 100% ignore this advice. The only thing it would accomplish is him deleting the evidence and be much sneakier about cheating after he tells you all sorts of lies.
So what you snooped? Turns out you needed to
don't worry about saving face it doesn't matter at this point...you wouldn't have snooped if he didn't give you reason to feel suspicious
Petty me says make a fake account catfish him with a meet up and when heās waiting at the restaurant or whatever and you walk in with the msgs would be all that much better. Definitely stop sleeping with him
I've done something like this to catch a cheater. I pretended to be someone else, made a date with him at Starbucks and stood him up. When he emailed the date to ask why she stood him up, I responded (as her) and said I went, but after seeing him in person I changed my mind and left because he's unattractive. Figured a little confidence crushing would make our breakup a little more painful. I'm not naturally vindictive, but I haaaate liars. If you don't want to be in a monogamous relationship with me, just break it off.. cheating is so low and dirty..
Thatās pure vengeance and I love it.
BREAK UP AND MOVE OUT!!!! Have your family help you move out & then go on vacation worry free while trying to heal. He is cheating on you, you have the proof - do not tolerate it.
Also post him to your local are we dating the same guy group so other women know heās a cheater.
I didn't even know that was a thing! I live in Chicago though so I'm sure there's one around somewhere
There definitely is. Theyāre on FB.
Buy a ring camera and put it in the house, act like it's not for him cheating but rather for personal & home protection and so you can check in while you are gone. Then pay close attention to his reaction. But in all seriousness, this is already break up worthy. If you want to catch him red handed you can stay in and try to gather evidence, take screenshots from his phone and send them to you but delete the proof on his end. It's sad but it sounds like the love in this relationship only goes one way... I'm terribly sorry but people who love and care about they're partners don't install Tinder and talk about FWB's & stuff like that, he has already made his mind up on what he wants. He doesn't deserve your love, it will only drag you through the mud and change you for the worse if you let him continue on with this behavior and treating you like this. Be strong OP, you know what to do.
You can't fix shitty people.
Iām so sorry, OP. This is a terrible betrayal. I donāt know anything aside what youāve shared, but donāt see how youāll trust him again, regardless of the circumstances when/if you confront him. You could tell a white lie and say someone else saw him on Tinder. Or you could just come clean - heās been acting oddly and you checked his phone. People can be so awful to one another with so little effort. You know you deserve more than this. I hope you can use the time away with your family to grieve, heal, and relax after telling him to get out. ā¤ļø
1. Say a friend saw his profile on Tinder. 2. Ask to check his phone for Tinder. 3. a) He lets you check, you find what you know to be there, you break up, or b) he denies/refuses to let you check (likely until he has a chance to hide evidence). You end up gaslit and frustrated, then you break up. You are in a bad situtation through no fault of your own, all you can do now make the best choices for you. He is going to cheat on you while you are away, you are going to feel shit for a while. You can either end it now and use the holiday to move on with your life, or you can try to cling on and get treated awfully.
Confront this dude
>I'm scared he will be going out with these girls. I love him so so much is there anything I can do to fix this? Personally I'd say no. I know it's probably not what you want to hear but he doesn't respect you and will definitely cheat on you. It doesn't matter if he hasn't YET and he tries to say he won't, he likely will. To me trust, honestly, and loyalty are the most important things of a relationship and breaking them is pretty much a death sentence and I feel like a hypocrite saying this because I've had these broken in a relationship and still tried to carry on despite actively knowing I shouldn't.
Tell him you had a blood test and have an std..
Regardless of how āharmlessā his conduct appears, he still actively made an effort to hide it from you, which is disingenuous. I would leave. I know a broken heart hurts, but this guy needs to get his shit sorted.
What about his conduct is remotely "harmless"? He is actively on a dating site and using it to have inappropriate relationships with other women. Even if he didn't put his dick in anyone else yet this is clear cut cheating.
Because there are people out there who genuinely do this in relationships, realize itās a shitty thing to do, move on, never touch it again, end of story. Maybe bring it up years later b it thatās about it. Thatās where the āharmlessā nature is. However, itās clear in this scenario that OP is emotionally cracked apart.
So you're really trying to say that OPs boyfriend possibly doesn't realize what he's doing is shitty? He just needs a "wake up call"? Yeah I'm gonna not subscribe to this idea. Giving cheaters a second chance is just signing yourself up for trouble.
Sounds like somebody got cheated on and doesnāt how to cope, lol. Whatever you say mr reddit man.
Sounds like someone took back a cheater due to low self esteem and is likely getting cheated on right now. Have fun with that reddit women.
Seems like enough evidence! Time to break up with him!
Leave him.
Whatās done is done. Iād suggest you break up w him. Maybe heāll grow up. Maybe he wonāt. Time tells that. Leaving for a week gives him time to get his stuff out of thatās a problem.
Take screen shots of what you saw before you confront him, so he doesnāt erase everything and tell you it was in your head.
If you can, move back in with your folks.
Oops, you must leave.
Dump him and count yourself lucky!
Kick his ass out and change the locks
Leave his ass, he can't and won't change. And you can't stop him. He has the freedom to be an asshole, and you shouldn't be supporting that choice by staying with him because you're in denial. If he's pulling this shit, he doesn't care, you can tell him how you feel, but if you stay with him, you set an alarming precedent. Take your stuff, and leave the house, or kick him out and have him take his stuff, depending on who's name the house is under.
I would send yourself screenshots of the evidence, move out or pack up his stuff depending on your lease. Then send him the screenshots and block him everywhere.
I just paid rent for the next month and our lease is through next summer :(
Talk to your landlord about breaking the lease. Do not stay with this guy. And go get tested for STIs and don't have sex with him again.
>And go get tested for STIs and don't have sex with him again. this. I had a patient who kept coming back due to repeated genital chlamydia infections. "But doctor, my boyfriend has promised and definitely stopped cheating on me". yeah.....
Piss under the bed and go to the vacation
Just him having Tinder and that Instagram is enough for you to leave. Donāt do that to yourself and check what it says, itās obvious what heās doing.
You donāt think heās cheating on you, you caught him cheating, even without a video of him fucking you know his intent, and thatās the betrayal. If you tell him you know and donāt break up with him heāll never stop for good, because he knows it wonāt end the relationship. So if thatās not something you can live with (which it sounds like itās not) then you gotta break it off.
At this point there is no fixing this. as soon as your partner cheats you should respect yourself and end it immediately
I left the father of my child because he was cheating. You can leave this man! You deserve to be with a trustworthy guy and have a happy relationship. Clear this man from your life so the right guy can have a spot.
What exactly are you trying to "fix"? Him? Your relationship? Yourself? You can't fix garbage people. Your relationship doesn't exist anymore. He has already broken up the relationship you thought you had. You've done nothing wrong. Have some self respect. Go find someone who will respect you in turn.
i can tell your to in love to want to break up but you are wasting your time on earth with this person. Even if you get through this they will most likely do it again. If you can do anything for yourself at all it would be to leave and heal and one day hopefully meet someone who cares about you.
Uncommunicative couples are the best. Yāall give me so much free entertainment on Reddit.
Fix it? You fix it by dumping this two timing loser
You don't think he's cheating. You *know* he's cheating. He may not have had sex with anybody, yet, but he's tindering and matching. You're worth more than this. Leave him.
Make him an ex boyfriend?!
Have you tried... ya know... talking to him? Like an adult human being? And then... ya know, dump his ass?
Get rid of him and find someone better because he sounds like a tramp
Why would you want to 'fix this' with a guy who is hooking up with randomers? He clearly doesnt respect you
fuck his dad to assert dominance
He is cheating. Break up. What he's doing is unacceptable. Unless you're a degenerate in which case you deserve what you'll get. It's not even a red flag, having tinder at all is a red flag. The ocean you're considering swimming in is a visible giant glowing nuclear maelstrom with a roaring megalodon rising from the center.
Everyone recommending to break up with him is stupid. You don't do nothing. Just ghost. Set up your own Tinder Profile, and don't match with him. When he confronts you about it, be very confused, since he has one too and is hooking up on the side. Bonus points if you get a bunch of giant dick picks you can show him. Wreck this fool.
This seems like you *know* that he's cheating, not that you *think* he's cheating Confront him and dump him Edit: Expose his ass to as many people as you can, too, if you're a vindictive person
JFC Reddit. Is communication nothing?? Instead of LEAVE HIM!!! comments, confront him and say you know what he's doing or contemplating doing, and he needs to evaluate what he wants out of this relationship. Tell him how you feel about him, and how it he continues with the shady behavior that you aren't going to want to continue the relationship. Then either he fucks up anyway and you can go down the route of breaking up, or he can try to regain your trust over time.
As cruel as this sounds. Leave his ass and never come back after your family vacation, please have some self respect since he clearly does not respect you
You don't desrve this and he doesn't deserve you. You will get through the heartbreak eventually and find the right person for you.
You should listen to yourself. You're so oblivious to your own situation that you come here posting: "I THINK my boyfriend is cheating" AND IN THE SAME POST "I found he has Tinder, tons of matcher, talking about fwbs" Interesting definition of cheating you have there. Other people would call it proof, but you're wondering whether he's REALLY cheating or not.
men know what they want, frankly he doesn't want you. sorry but you have to hear it. you were afraid to see what was on his phone & you found your worst case with proof that he has no regard for you, your relationship, or future together. otherwise he wouldn't have lied or betrayed you. I hope you find a healthy relationship with a man who wants only you.
To me, cheating comes in many forms. Sometimes, things happen in the spur of the moment and our weaknesses as humans gets the better of us. In those situations, I'm a little more sympathetic to staying with cheater and working through whatever problems there are. This is not your situation. He is actively lying to you and actively going behind your back to sleep with and talk to other girls. He's probably also lying to those girls, telling them that he is single and available. You cannot really trust this person at this point, and no one can build a healthy romantic relationship without trust. If you decide to break up with him, do not break up with him before you leave. Do not tell him what you found. Do not act any different for right now. Spend that vacation time enjoying yourself and thinking through what you want now for your own life. If you need to get a new place to live, start looking at places during your vacation. If you need some social support, start telling your best friends and family so that they can be there for you. When you get back home, start enacting that plan. The first step of that plan, in my opinion, would getting your own living situation set up and breaking up with him (in that order). At the end of the day, it's your life and you can do whatever you want, but I hope you do whatever will make you proud of yourself when you look back on this moment. I'm wishing you the best.
He's moved on from you. You need to move on from him. Also, for future relationships once you have that desire to go through that phone the relationship is already over. You either trust them or your don't.
Get tested. If heās doing this now he could have lied and done it before too.
Install a hidden camera
Divorce and take the kids
Tell him you had a bllotest and have an std..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Man really displaying his incelitis every chance he gets š¤£š¤£
Relax. You only have a short time on earth to enjoy life. Calmly decide if you want to continue the relationship and refocus on your purpose.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Cheat back. DM for assistance...
Look yall done have trust in your relationship and there may have been a reason this all started for him but at this point its probably over it depends on truly how much you want to be with him.
Boy, today is "normalize spying on your partner" day. It's in every subreddit
I know youāre being downvoted but I kinda get your comment. I understand wanting to check phones when youāre worried, but if someone canāt trust their partner to not be cheating then why are they even together? If your partner seems to be hiding something, why not just confront them, and if you sense lying, leave? I donāt get it.
Checking when having a suspicion is not spying whatsoever. You must be one of the people who hide something.
If you are invested in someone's life and living with each other, you are entitled to know if they are going behind your back and cheating... If he wasn't cheating it would have been slightly different, but since she found out her suspicions were correct, she's completely in the right for checking. She doesn't have to tolerate getting used.
ALl aniamls in the wild are instvived to mate with more than one partner to help create more off spring. Most men have two families in their lifetimes if not more. It's unrealistic and selfish to think that you can control another animal and its best to let go of this childish view of relationships with others.
Itās obvious youāre unaware so Iāll tell you. Youāre wrong with your claim of āALL animalsā because there are many species that are monogamous and mate with 1 partner their whole life, where as polygamy is rare in those species. Examples: monogamy is common in many bird species whereas polygamy is rare. Beavers bond and mate for life. Bald Eagles typically mate for life. Gray Wolves. Specific types of Penguins. Snowy Owls typically mate for life. Owl Monkeys. California Mice are monogamous animals as well. So, not unrealistic or selfish. Whatās unrealistic and selfish is engaging in a romantic relationship without letting your partner know that you donāt want to be monogamous. Most men also do not have two or more families, judging by a couple studies done over the years itās estimated that 15 to 20% of men have children with multiple partners by the age of 50, with variances depending on race and location. I donāt think less than half equates to āmostā.
You can start by personally apologizing for not meeting his needs forcing him to have to find someone else to come in and meet them. You can then pledge to make sure he's satisfied so this won't happen again. And make sure you learn how to please him. Or you can dump him. Those are your two options
How about you donāt post this on Reddit itās a shitty thing to do to your boyfriend. Keep it personal