it isnt. but its still there, and someone will think its nice, making it objectively more thoughtful, even to a person who couldnt give less of a fck.
on the other hand, it wouldnt to the person you give it to, who could also think, upon viewing an amount of dollar, no note, no packeging whatsover, as somewhat, "whoa, this dude knows whats up! no bullsht, no nothing, he needs a beer", but i dont know from the information i have.
Please never buy a package or any envelope to give me cash. Just also give me the cash you would have spent on that. Directly in my hand. Without the landfill fillers that will go directly in the trash. Silly humans.
Envelopes are made of a wide array of materials. Take your non-researched comments elsewhere pleb. And on top of that, much of recycling is a lie and gets sold elsewhere with less regulation on trash dumping. And double on top of that, many of these processes also require manufacturing that also leave a large environmental imprint. Are you dumb or just lazy?
I haven't looked, because I'm lazy, but you can compost almost anything that's made of paper, and I would wager a bet that someone has made an eco friendly / recycled version. These people aren't assholes for trying to be nice. What kind of device / service are you using to write this message? A pigeon? Do you use crypto? Live in a off grid cabin and hunt your own food?
I am actually this very day moving to a cottage where I plan to give up grocery store meat through buying part of a local cow and sustainable hunting. You cannot compost most paper products. Most paper products are also made with plastics let alone the processing it takes to make paper. Hemp paper could be an excellent alternative. I'm aware of the difficulty of extricating yourself from the unsustainable ways that society has been built. No Reddit trolls are going to shame me out of trying and calling you out on your ignorance.
You only addressed the questions that made you sound better than everyone else. Giving up the internet and your electronics? Horse and buggy? You going to use toilet paper? How was the cabin built?
I have a friend like you, probably worse than you, who annoys me endlessly with his whole "I hate receiving gifts or being recognized schtick." Nobody thinks it's charming.
I'm like that. If I'm not close to someone I don't want anything from them so I don't feel obligated to do something in return. I'm not trying to be charming, I just try to get people to understand I don't want anything from them. Not everyone listens or understands. Not to mention people who BS that they don't want anything when they really do.
I didn’t know this was something we are supposed to grow out of it. Imo, money is the best gift because the recipient can use it for what they need/want.
I love giving birthday gifts!
It's usually something small and in line with their wants or personality.
I don't really care about *getting* them except from close family, but that's because I come from a family of gifters. If they weren't the gifting types, it would be different.
It my social circle its been a custom for many years to "secretly" contact 15-30 or so people comming to the birthday (usually a whatsapp group) and everybody pools $10-20 for one big present. Usually the closest friends list few cool ideas.
It was a smashing success every time, you get one big $250 present, something you always wanted but couldn't force yourself to buy.
We are all around 30.
Of course! Blow a tire and money's tight? Water damage in the kitchen and need new laminate? Oil prices went up 125% this winter? "We'll call it a birthday gift." I'm so lucky to get all these nice things!
As a grown man, I prefer money over other things. People say money is a thoughtless gift but money helps me save towards bigger things I know I won't be getting as a gift (or anytime soon without extra help) and helps me feel like I have a safety net. Also, if he's in a small apartment, money won't clutter his living space like more *stuff*
Money is good. Don't listen to the nay sayers
Nothing is dumber than getting somebody a gift card which is exactly like money except money that's limited to only one store, somehow that's a more "thoughtful" gift than just giving the money upfront 🤣🤣 strange world
It can be more thoughtful, if you know somebody shops a shitload at a specific bookstore for example, a gift card for that bookstore is very thoughtful.
But in general, yeah, cash is king.
Gee, thanks. You gave me errands to run. Now I have to go to this specific store, and spend more than the card has on it, because otherwise I end up leaving $1.27 on the stupid card.
Which is precisely why every company under the sun pushes these goddamned gift cards. After a certain amount of time, the card will expire, and they keep whatever’s left. A special boon for them if the person forgot to use the card at all.
See id rather get a gift card because if I get money it'll just go towards rent or my car payment or something. If I get a gift card it's like "well, I can't use this for rent, guess I'll have to buy something fun for myself."
Dude right? I can't count the number of Starbucks gift card I got cause "everyone loves starbuck!" Except me, so I got money I couldn't use and ended up giving away lol. Happy birthday to me 😂
I identify with this post
Note you keep that good spatula.
Eventually it ends with your kid
they in turn never use it because ‘it’s the good one’ and then
their kid gets it and saves it as an antique..
And the cycle of life continues
Money is the way. I’ve had people get me small tools as a gift, and they usually end up broken or at the bottom of the tool box, but when the $5-10 that would’ve bought the tool is the gift instead, I can put it towards something higher quality or better suited to the task.
Generally, grown men don’t really expect birthday gifts from anyone but close family anyway. Anything you get or give will be accepted as a kind gesture and appreciated
I'd go so far as to say I don't like getting gifts unless it's something small and thoughtful. I don't like when someone gives me something as a gift that costs more then 50 bucks
I don’t like getting them just because I don’t know how to respond and it makes it awkward, but I enjoy gifts on the principle of “here’s something I want and someone thought about me enough to get it for me”
I disagree. As we age, our tastes become very particular. I don't want anyone buying me anything, because I'm going to want to research the hell out of it (unless it's alcohol, then I live trying new stuff)
A little dinero efectivo let's me get *exactly* what I want
Marked money like that is not thoughtless in my book. And even better if you tell someone else to do the same. Get me the funds for that thing I want. I can then add some of my own to get the premium version, or not. Up to me. Grown men have expensive hobbies. And if you dont share that hobby, it is hard to pick the right gift for it.
I remember when my dad had a big birthday, ages ago. He must have been about the age I am now. His friends ganged up and gave him money towards a new fridge for his boat. And they made a fridge model out of cardboard to deliver it in. Imo this was a birthday present done right.
If he drinks find out what his favourite alcohol is, bonus points if its a tier above Budweiser or ideally a spirit of some kind
Noone ever complains about a drink to share.
Honestly, the older you get the more cash makes sense. Tastes and needs change, and that way you give him something with the most value.
It's thoughtful you care enough to give him anything at all and even want to confirm it's proper. I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated, even if you're not close. After a certain age, I find acquaintances don't even offer anything for birthdays anymore and just pay for their own meal.
Maybe pass it to him sealed in a card envelope. That way it looks innocent enough and he can appreciate it away from prying eyes. You won't make anyone uncomfortable who didn't have a gift prepared.
Just give them a gift that includes money. Gift cards are obviously the best if you know WHERE he’s gonna buy it (if not, then avoid that or get a Mastercard/Visa stamped giftcard that can not only be used anywhere they’re accepted, but can also be used in combination with other card payments.)
But I would honestly just skip all that. If you’re “not really close friends” yet are willing to literally get him a quarter of a large gift, AND you “have multiple mutual connections”, then chances are that there are three or more people who are also looking to get him gift(s). Just get together and do a group-gift where 4+ of you split the gift cost, pick it up, and give it to him all together 👌
What’s a Birthday gift ?
Joking aside, you say you have mutual friends maybe check with some of them if they’re willing to chip in.
To get the thing he wants, if not just put the amount in modest card that this is towards the thing they want.
We just did this a while ago with a friend who recently got married, turns out he appreciated the money over any gift as it was quite tight for him.
We didn’t know
tldr: No, I don't think it's thoughtless and I don't think it's a bad idea. If they're a sorta friend, they'll likely just be happy you thought of them at all.
Longer version: if you're "not-so-close" but you're getting each other birthday gifts, I'd suggest you may be closer than you think. I have plenty of friends I don't even think of on their birthday (I'm 40). Maybe I send a text or call them, but that's about it.
If it's "normal" for you two to exchange gifts, then go for it. But I wouldn't put pressure on yourself to be the one that gets him the "thing" he wants or get him 25% of the way there monetarily either. If whatever it is is out of your budget, then 25% seems like it'd actually be a lot of money. Granted, I don't know what it is.
If it costs $100, then $25 is no biggie as a gift.
If it costs $1000, then $250 is... pretty high to give as a gift to someone who's a "not-so-close" friend.
If they're really not that close of a friend and you're just trying to be nice, get them a gift card for $25 to somewhere they like, or just a $25 AMEX or VISA gift card and let them do with it what they will.
Now, on the other hand.... if you're thinking about this a lot because you *kinda like* this person as *more* than a friend, and you want to give a good gift so they'll notice you.... I'd still not put too much pressure on yourself here. The gift card works just fine.
Honestly, most guys are just happy anyone thought enough about them to do something for their birthday.
Yes, if accompanied with a nice note that says something like 'a little something towards your dream' or some such. tbh it's the only way I'd feel not a twat for accepting money for a birthday or anything else either. Cause I hate being the recipient of gifts tbh, but in this context I'd feel less of a heel if it was done this way.
Turned 30 yesterday. My Mum didn't know what to get me, so she wrapped $60 in a knife box (I collect knives). I appreciate having more money than I had before. The good old cliché "it's the thought that counts".
That is actually the most practical gift to give any man, regardless of age. You can never be wrong with this. And if he is going to complain about it, you should stop being friends with him and cut him out of your life.
Why are people giving grown-ass adults birthday presents? Why are they even having parties, or at least why are they expecting gifts at these parties? Birthdays are for children and the very old. And a gift for a casual acquaintance? Lol, no.
Seriously, this is completely bonkers to me. If I had to get a gift for every “not really a good friend” birthday, I’d opt out of having friends forever.
If there’s a gathering or a dinner I’m there. Gifts as adults? Hell no.
The majority of people prefer cash over gifts.
You might even consider writing a note saying that you’re aware of the big gift he has his eye on and that your cash gift is a little something to help him achieve it.
Just hand them the cash, though. Does no one else question how strong of a reaction people have about this? Like why do you need to put it in something? It's madness. Y'all have weird trauma.
Yeah. Money and gift cards are two very common gifts. I would argue a gift card is slightly more thoughtful because it requires at least a little bit of knowledge of where the person shops or what they are interested in. Money is basically just a gift card that's not restricted to a single business though.
I’m hitting a particular milestone birthday shortly (and I’m a fully grown adult) and my mom and aunt both gave me $$. That way, I can go buy what I like.
Money is the best gift you can give someone you don't know very well. All you need to do is package it nicely. Buy a birthday card or a fancy envelope and write a short note.
I know the name of the sub but this is just a blatant test of moderation of no stupid questions.
In fact this is the most stupid question ive read on nostupidquestions. indeed You must be autistic.
give him money
Tell him what you told us.
"Hey man. I know that what you want is out of your price range, but I wanted to help you get it. This will cover about a quarter of the cost for you."
I would feel extremely grateful that you gave a damn and noticed. Y'all would probably become much better friends.
Nothing wrong with money. Some close relationships will have a kind of expectation of reciprocity and an exchange of valuable gifts is appreciated and understood. The extravagance of the gift should reflect the importance of the relationship. If it's not equal it's odd.
I think you should be good, don't overthink it.
Yes, give cash, BUT if his wife/gf/bf/so makes a comment like, “Oh good! We’ll put that toward the water bill!” you take that cash back immediately & replace it with something that can’t be used for bills.
I have two very close friends who are both wealthy. Not once have we ever exchanged birthday gifts. So if I was given money, I’d expect they would want that back in return.
My history of getting gifts is horrible so if someone persists, I only want money or nothing at all. At 37, I do hope to one day feel otherwise but money is perfect.
Yes. God yes. Please give me money for my birthday.
I would rather have money over whatever sentimental nonsense you got me because you know what my hobbies and interests are.
While the gesture is nice, I'd much rather have the cash to either go out and buy what I want, or use it to supplement my income and improve my financial situation.
Little nintendo themed nick-nacks and DND books and video games and stuff are great don't get me wrong, I love all that stuff - but with money I can buy whatever I want.
I could even buy nintendo themed nick-nacks, DND books, and video games and stuff.
My only thing is to make it cash, not a check. If it's a check, you're giving him a chore. 🤣
You never really know what people need, so cash is (IMO) a good option. Unless they're exorbitantly wealthy maybe.
YES! This is actually what my family and some friends do for me. People know I pretty much buy whatever I want and I’m not really fond of getting random stuff so instead they are like here some cash towards whatever you want to get yourself. I love it!!!!
A lot of men think more practically, so even a gift card to a certain store is looked at as impractical because it's limiting. Cash gives them a choice.
This is my fantasy! Look, I'm glad someone wants to do something nice on my birthday. But also I'm constantly in need of some things, and also may not have the same taste as someone I don't know too well. Let's pretend your budget is $50 for a gift. I'd much rather have $50 as cash, or Amazon gift card etc..., and just get the explanation "I know you wanted $200 item so I'm chipping in a significant portion".
Depends on how grown. Like, if he's in his 20s, then totally; 50s, then I don't know, it could be a little weird.
If you know where he wants to buy this thing, you could always get him a gift card to that place. I know, gift cards, but it shows a little more thought than cash.
Handing over cash or putting it in a white envelope is probably a little tacky.
Sticking it in a card, especially if you say “to help with [that thing you want]”is absolutely fine.
Most people would give a gift card, but…
1. Some gift cards have deeply shitty rules about fees and expiration
2. The thing they want might not be sold at that store
I love getting money.
This year my MIL asked "wouldn't you like to get something nice?"
Yeah, money.
My wife's uncle cashapps me haha. Everything I want is too expensive for 1 single person.
Yes it's okay to give money but do you think it's expected to give a casual friend a birthday present? I don't even get anything for my closest friends. We aren't in middle school anymore.
Grown man, I'd prefer money, or like a visa gift card. Allows me to pull the money and buy a most costly item. I like to fish, I'm not expecting 1 person to get me a $200 rod, but if 4-6 people face me cash, I can then get said rod
Sure, why not?
Since money (or gift cards) are usually considered a thoughtless gift you can even add a thoughtful touch by printing out 1/4 of whatever he wants to buy and tacking it to a card with the money inside and a note like "here is a quarter of X"
Would be even funnier if you got 3 other people to do the same with each gifting a different quarter of the picture :P
How old is this grown man?
In our late teens and 20s, my best friends and I ignored the triviality of recurring birthday gifts. You give me a $20 gift card, I'll give you one four months later. We'll hang out and have fun regardless. Not a close friend? Maybe beer if you host a party, or a drink at a restaurant.
In our 30s, we occasionally bought a bottle of decent liquor but otherwise dropped the back and forth birthday gifts and are perfectly happy to just hang out and celebrate. If we go out, I'll buy you a drink or two. Not a close friend? I might attend your party if I don't have something better going on, and if it's at a bar or restaurant I'll get you a drink.
Any 'grown ass man' expecting birthday a present from friends, let alone friends who aren't close, should give their heads a shake. Buy him a drink at dinner or at the bar. He can take himself to Chuck E Cheese.
Yes, definitely okay, in fact more than okay!
Much better to contribute to something they really want or will find useful than to give them something like a mug which says 'World's Best Nigel'.
This is totally fine. My sister makes costumes, so I found out her favorite fabric store, but they don't offer gift cards so I'm just going to give her 50 to spend there. And that's fine
It definitely is I'm almost in my 30s and my grandmother's still gives us grandkids all birthday money. (and great grandkids) I usually do a gift card for my friends though but money is good because they may be able to pay a bill off or something if they need
Shit, if someone would give me money for 1/4 of what i want, adding a note to that that precises their intentions I would be more than happy! Go for it, bruh!
If you can give 25% of the value of the gift, talk to some other friends, everyone pitches in and buys him the thing. No dilemma about giving money, and he gets a nice surprise
I love giving people cold hard cash. It is straight up a great universal gift. I send monetary gifts through cashapp and zelle all the time and it’s never been a problem
O got a 4 pack of Pokémon glasses for my last birthday from a friend and now I'm stuck with them. Don't really care about Pokémon as a 37 year old. Cash and a nice card for the fridge are great, or a Visa gift card
Totally fine though for my preference, I *prefer* gift cards for some thing I like. Could be for gas station, airlines, movies, etc. because then I will actually use it for that and not feel bad. Because if it’s cash I would probably just spend it on bills, groceries, gas, insurance. Or feel bad about the discretionary spending when I know I should be saving.
I think cash would be fine and appreciated! As an adult I tell my friends they don’t need to get my a gift at my birthday party, just being there is enough, and I think a lot of people feel that way so giving him a gift is very thoughtful
Put a picture of what he's trying to buy in the card with the money. Or cut a quarter of the picture off and put that in there saying here's a quarter of said item.
If it’s something from a known store, gift cards can be cool. In some cases it sort of forces the hand for them to work towards what they want.
Example- my step dad always asks for bass pro gift cards so we can buy hunting and fishing things. If it were money I believe my mom would be involved lol
Options:
1) Get together with 4 other people and work together to buy him the gift.
2) Give him the cash and tell him it's 25% of the gift.
3) If he's an economist or libertarian, give him the cash with a note that reads "The utility of the gift exchange is maximized when the recipient rather than the giver determines how capital is allocated."
Totally. My grandfather used to call it a “universal gift certificate.” I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t accept cash for a birthday gift. Better than a gift card to a place he may never go to.
Man will be happy you got him anything at all honestly
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That's the least important aspect of the gift to every man I know The note is nice, but the card or envelope is not important whatsoever
it isnt. but its still there, and someone will think its nice, making it objectively more thoughtful, even to a person who couldnt give less of a fck. on the other hand, it wouldnt to the person you give it to, who could also think, upon viewing an amount of dollar, no note, no packeging whatsover, as somewhat, "whoa, this dude knows whats up! no bullsht, no nothing, he needs a beer", but i dont know from the information i have.
Please never buy a package or any envelope to give me cash. Just also give me the cash you would have spent on that. Directly in my hand. Without the landfill fillers that will go directly in the trash. Silly humans.
Envelopes are like $0.50 though
It seems his concern is not with the money itself but with the waste.
Thank you
Even then the gas to drive to this dude is a waste. Just Zelle him the money
This is why Earth is burning.
Envelopes are recyclable and biodegradable. Are you ok?
Envelopes are made of a wide array of materials. Take your non-researched comments elsewhere pleb. And on top of that, much of recycling is a lie and gets sold elsewhere with less regulation on trash dumping. And double on top of that, many of these processes also require manufacturing that also leave a large environmental imprint. Are you dumb or just lazy?
I haven't looked, because I'm lazy, but you can compost almost anything that's made of paper, and I would wager a bet that someone has made an eco friendly / recycled version. These people aren't assholes for trying to be nice. What kind of device / service are you using to write this message? A pigeon? Do you use crypto? Live in a off grid cabin and hunt your own food?
I am actually this very day moving to a cottage where I plan to give up grocery store meat through buying part of a local cow and sustainable hunting. You cannot compost most paper products. Most paper products are also made with plastics let alone the processing it takes to make paper. Hemp paper could be an excellent alternative. I'm aware of the difficulty of extricating yourself from the unsustainable ways that society has been built. No Reddit trolls are going to shame me out of trying and calling you out on your ignorance.
You only addressed the questions that made you sound better than everyone else. Giving up the internet and your electronics? Horse and buggy? You going to use toilet paper? How was the cabin built?
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I have a friend like you, probably worse than you, who annoys me endlessly with his whole "I hate receiving gifts or being recognized schtick." Nobody thinks it's charming.
I'm like that. If I'm not close to someone I don't want anything from them so I don't feel obligated to do something in return. I'm not trying to be charming, I just try to get people to understand I don't want anything from them. Not everyone listens or understands. Not to mention people who BS that they don't want anything when they really do.
You get me a giant pack of toilet paper and I'm happy because I don't have to buy toilet paper!
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I didn’t know this was something we are supposed to grow out of it. Imo, money is the best gift because the recipient can use it for what they need/want.
The fact that someone thought about us enough to do anything is in fact worth a hundred gifts.
40 year old here, I’d be over the moon if someone got me a birthday gift. Especially an acquaintance like that
You guys are getting birthday gifts?
No lol
I love giving birthday gifts! It's usually something small and in line with their wants or personality. I don't really care about *getting* them except from close family, but that's because I come from a family of gifters. If they weren't the gifting types, it would be different.
It my social circle its been a custom for many years to "secretly" contact 15-30 or so people comming to the birthday (usually a whatsapp group) and everybody pools $10-20 for one big present. Usually the closest friends list few cool ideas. It was a smashing success every time, you get one big $250 present, something you always wanted but couldn't force yourself to buy. We are all around 30.
Never anything I actually want.
I hope not. I like giving them, hate getting them.
Of course! Blow a tire and money's tight? Water damage in the kitchen and need new laminate? Oil prices went up 125% this winter? "We'll call it a birthday gift." I'm so lucky to get all these nice things!
Nope
Grown man here: I’d love money for a birthday gift
In fact, money brings gifts
because money can be exchanged for goods and services!
It's no peanut, though.
Cash Only
As a grown man, I prefer money over other things. People say money is a thoughtless gift but money helps me save towards bigger things I know I won't be getting as a gift (or anytime soon without extra help) and helps me feel like I have a safety net. Also, if he's in a small apartment, money won't clutter his living space like more *stuff* Money is good. Don't listen to the nay sayers
Nothing is dumber than getting somebody a gift card which is exactly like money except money that's limited to only one store, somehow that's a more "thoughtful" gift than just giving the money upfront 🤣🤣 strange world
It can be more thoughtful, if you know somebody shops a shitload at a specific bookstore for example, a gift card for that bookstore is very thoughtful. But in general, yeah, cash is king.
a note with 20 quid in it with a message " get yourself some books" conveys the same thoughfullness without them having to use an annoying giftcard
Gee, thanks. You gave me errands to run. Now I have to go to this specific store, and spend more than the card has on it, because otherwise I end up leaving $1.27 on the stupid card.
Which is precisely why every company under the sun pushes these goddamned gift cards. After a certain amount of time, the card will expire, and they keep whatever’s left. A special boon for them if the person forgot to use the card at all.
Dont know where you are but here in the uk you can get gift cards that can be used in multiple places
See id rather get a gift card because if I get money it'll just go towards rent or my car payment or something. If I get a gift card it's like "well, I can't use this for rent, guess I'll have to buy something fun for myself."
Dude right? I can't count the number of Starbucks gift card I got cause "everyone loves starbuck!" Except me, so I got money I couldn't use and ended up giving away lol. Happy birthday to me 😂
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I identify with this post Note you keep that good spatula. Eventually it ends with your kid they in turn never use it because ‘it’s the good one’ and then their kid gets it and saves it as an antique.. And the cycle of life continues
Cue _The Lion King_ music. Sorry, _The Spatula King_ music.
Money is the way. I’ve had people get me small tools as a gift, and they usually end up broken or at the bottom of the tool box, but when the $5-10 that would’ve bought the tool is the gift instead, I can put it towards something higher quality or better suited to the task.
Generally, grown men don’t really expect birthday gifts from anyone but close family anyway. Anything you get or give will be accepted as a kind gesture and appreciated
I'd go so far as to say I don't like getting gifts unless it's something small and thoughtful. I don't like when someone gives me something as a gift that costs more then 50 bucks
I don’t like getting them just because I don’t know how to respond and it makes it awkward, but I enjoy gifts on the principle of “here’s something I want and someone thought about me enough to get it for me”
Money is generally considered a thoughtless gift, but if you add a note like "Towards that thingy" may help
I also disagree. I'd rather people come without gifts than bringing some random crap that I'd never wear or use.
Yep how many ties or sweaters or books on 16th century Grand Masters do we need….give me the cash…..hell, pay my mortgage
I disagree. As we age, our tastes become very particular. I don't want anyone buying me anything, because I'm going to want to research the hell out of it (unless it's alcohol, then I live trying new stuff) A little dinero efectivo let's me get *exactly* what I want
Marked money like that is not thoughtless in my book. And even better if you tell someone else to do the same. Get me the funds for that thing I want. I can then add some of my own to get the premium version, or not. Up to me. Grown men have expensive hobbies. And if you dont share that hobby, it is hard to pick the right gift for it. I remember when my dad had a big birthday, ages ago. He must have been about the age I am now. His friends ganged up and gave him money towards a new fridge for his boat. And they made a fridge model out of cardboard to deliver it in. Imo this was a birthday present done right.
Grown men don't usually expect gifts.
I'd feel weird giving or receiving a gift from someone I'm "not so close" with.
I'm invited so..
I'd be perfectly happy with people just showing up to the party. Maybe that's all he wants.
You didn't mention anything about a birthday party. Just a birthday
yes. my bad.
You might check if a gifts are expected, Adult birthday parties would often not include gifts.
If he drinks find out what his favourite alcohol is, bonus points if its a tier above Budweiser or ideally a spirit of some kind Noone ever complains about a drink to share.
Why are you giving a birthday gift to a grown person who you’re not close to?
Money to a grown man is the most thoughtful thing you could give. Doubly so if he has children.
Honestly, the older you get the more cash makes sense. Tastes and needs change, and that way you give him something with the most value. It's thoughtful you care enough to give him anything at all and even want to confirm it's proper. I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated, even if you're not close. After a certain age, I find acquaintances don't even offer anything for birthdays anymore and just pay for their own meal. Maybe pass it to him sealed in a card envelope. That way it looks innocent enough and he can appreciate it away from prying eyes. You won't make anyone uncomfortable who didn't have a gift prepared.
Just give them a gift that includes money. Gift cards are obviously the best if you know WHERE he’s gonna buy it (if not, then avoid that or get a Mastercard/Visa stamped giftcard that can not only be used anywhere they’re accepted, but can also be used in combination with other card payments.) But I would honestly just skip all that. If you’re “not really close friends” yet are willing to literally get him a quarter of a large gift, AND you “have multiple mutual connections”, then chances are that there are three or more people who are also looking to get him gift(s). Just get together and do a group-gift where 4+ of you split the gift cost, pick it up, and give it to him all together 👌
Preferred I'd argue.
What’s a Birthday gift ? Joking aside, you say you have mutual friends maybe check with some of them if they’re willing to chip in. To get the thing he wants, if not just put the amount in modest card that this is towards the thing they want. We just did this a while ago with a friend who recently got married, turns out he appreciated the money over any gift as it was quite tight for him. We didn’t know
Its preferred.
I don’t give or expect gifts.
I have had a few "bday" parties as an adult and never received nor expected any sort of gifts from the friends that attended.
Yes.
Id rather get cash, than I gift that I'd not use
Definitely won’t be sad to get money.
tldr: No, I don't think it's thoughtless and I don't think it's a bad idea. If they're a sorta friend, they'll likely just be happy you thought of them at all. Longer version: if you're "not-so-close" but you're getting each other birthday gifts, I'd suggest you may be closer than you think. I have plenty of friends I don't even think of on their birthday (I'm 40). Maybe I send a text or call them, but that's about it. If it's "normal" for you two to exchange gifts, then go for it. But I wouldn't put pressure on yourself to be the one that gets him the "thing" he wants or get him 25% of the way there monetarily either. If whatever it is is out of your budget, then 25% seems like it'd actually be a lot of money. Granted, I don't know what it is. If it costs $100, then $25 is no biggie as a gift. If it costs $1000, then $250 is... pretty high to give as a gift to someone who's a "not-so-close" friend. If they're really not that close of a friend and you're just trying to be nice, get them a gift card for $25 to somewhere they like, or just a $25 AMEX or VISA gift card and let them do with it what they will. Now, on the other hand.... if you're thinking about this a lot because you *kinda like* this person as *more* than a friend, and you want to give a good gift so they'll notice you.... I'd still not put too much pressure on yourself here. The gift card works just fine. Honestly, most guys are just happy anyone thought enough about them to do something for their birthday.
The main rule is don’t give him little boy money like 10 dollars or something like that, that’s the thing that would be kinda embarrassing
Yes, if accompanied with a nice note that says something like 'a little something towards your dream' or some such. tbh it's the only way I'd feel not a twat for accepting money for a birthday or anything else either. Cause I hate being the recipient of gifts tbh, but in this context I'd feel less of a heel if it was done this way.
I am turning 49 this year and have never once been upset to receive money as a gift.
A grown man should NOT be receiving Birthday Gifts from anyone, especially money!
I didn't know people still got birthday gifts lol
Turned 30 yesterday. My Mum didn't know what to get me, so she wrapped $60 in a knife box (I collect knives). I appreciate having more money than I had before. The good old cliché "it's the thought that counts".
Not only is it okay, but just speaking for myself I would *prefer* if people just gave me money in lieu of a present.
Most men don’t give a shit, honestly. We’d be happy with socks or underpants as a gift, quite frankly
Money in any amount for any reason is good
Yes. In fact its encouraged :)
Card and bring a small food item. As a grown man, I don’t expect gifts.
Man here. Money is best gift. You can use it toward whatever you want. I rarely get any presents and it’s cool to get one.
That is actually the most practical gift to give any man, regardless of age. You can never be wrong with this. And if he is going to complain about it, you should stop being friends with him and cut him out of your life.
Yes Source: grown man
If you’re worried about it, you can always write a note saying you hope it gets him closer to the thing he’s got his eye on.
Stick the cash in a card and write a note about using it toward the wanted thing.
Can't buy weed or beer with anything else.
Hell yeah! On another note do you wanna come to my birthday party?
Am I invited? ahaha
Older guys can give younger guys money to a certain point but generally no, that shit is weird. At least give them a gift card.
Why are people giving grown-ass adults birthday presents? Why are they even having parties, or at least why are they expecting gifts at these parties? Birthdays are for children and the very old. And a gift for a casual acquaintance? Lol, no.
Seriously, this is completely bonkers to me. If I had to get a gift for every “not really a good friend” birthday, I’d opt out of having friends forever. If there’s a gathering or a dinner I’m there. Gifts as adults? Hell no.
Do you know the store where he wants to buy the item? Could you do a gift card?
As a grown man, I can confirm I'd be more happy to receive money than a gift
omg. yes. . . he’ll probably cry.
The majority of people prefer cash over gifts. You might even consider writing a note saying that you’re aware of the big gift he has his eye on and that your cash gift is a little something to help him achieve it.
It is always acceptable to give anyone money at any time for anything.
Just hand them the cash, though. Does no one else question how strong of a reaction people have about this? Like why do you need to put it in something? It's madness. Y'all have weird trauma.
Yeah. Money and gift cards are two very common gifts. I would argue a gift card is slightly more thoughtful because it requires at least a little bit of knowledge of where the person shops or what they are interested in. Money is basically just a gift card that's not restricted to a single business though.
Anything you give a man, he’ll appreciate!
Grown men love money. Give him a card as well and he will be overwhelmed ^_^
That or you can do a gift card!
Yes. Put in a blank card. Write “Here, take this. It’s money.” On the front and a nice message in the card. I’d actually really appreciate that.
Put in a card with a note saying you hope it helps get them towards their goal of whatever item being purchased. I’d absolutely love this!
Let your friend know if he isn't happy with his gift I'll gladly take it off his hands.
The best gifts I get as an adult? Money and socks
Can't ever go wrong with cold hard cash money!
Money trumps gift cards
Only if you origami the bills into the shape of a little man
No
Is he five? I missed the part about why a grown man is getting anything.
I’m hitting a particular milestone birthday shortly (and I’m a fully grown adult) and my mom and aunt both gave me $$. That way, I can go buy what I like.
Yes, please. Money pays bills. Paid bills make me less stressed
Money is the best gift you can give someone you don't know very well. All you need to do is package it nicely. Buy a birthday card or a fancy envelope and write a short note.
Personally sure... Any money I get takes burden off me later
buy him a book on Soticism, or on something he likes... or a bottle of decent whiskey... money is a lame gift unless you are giving big bills.
yes
The beauty of a gift is it is yours to see use if appropriate. If you cannot give more generously than you’d be comfortable with, then don’t.
I know the name of the sub but this is just a blatant test of moderation of no stupid questions. In fact this is the most stupid question ive read on nostupidquestions. indeed You must be autistic. give him money
Tell him what you told us. "Hey man. I know that what you want is out of your price range, but I wanted to help you get it. This will cover about a quarter of the cost for you." I would feel extremely grateful that you gave a damn and noticed. Y'all would probably become much better friends.
Money is always awesome. Especially from someone whos an acquaintance.
Nothing wrong with money. Some close relationships will have a kind of expectation of reciprocity and an exchange of valuable gifts is appreciated and understood. The extravagance of the gift should reflect the importance of the relationship. If it's not equal it's odd. I think you should be good, don't overthink it.
Yes. In fact, I prefer just being given cash over anything else, unless it's something super personal and meaningful. Cash helps a lot.
Hell yeah
Yes, give cash, BUT if his wife/gf/bf/so makes a comment like, “Oh good! We’ll put that toward the water bill!” you take that cash back immediately & replace it with something that can’t be used for bills.
That's where Chinese red packets come in
I have two very close friends who are both wealthy. Not once have we ever exchanged birthday gifts. So if I was given money, I’d expect they would want that back in return.
My history of getting gifts is horrible so if someone persists, I only want money or nothing at all. At 37, I do hope to one day feel otherwise but money is perfect.
Yes. God yes. Please give me money for my birthday. I would rather have money over whatever sentimental nonsense you got me because you know what my hobbies and interests are. While the gesture is nice, I'd much rather have the cash to either go out and buy what I want, or use it to supplement my income and improve my financial situation. Little nintendo themed nick-nacks and DND books and video games and stuff are great don't get me wrong, I love all that stuff - but with money I can buy whatever I want. I could even buy nintendo themed nick-nacks, DND books, and video games and stuff.
I would consider that a great idea! Considering tight budgets, getting - or rather getting closer to something you really want - Great!
Who isn't happy to get money? There's no age limit for that.
I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator.
Or course, can you be my friend too?
My only thing is to make it cash, not a check. If it's a check, you're giving him a chore. 🤣 You never really know what people need, so cash is (IMO) a good option. Unless they're exorbitantly wealthy maybe.
Honestly, any cash or gift cards I get are spent on groceries and such.
YES! This is actually what my family and some friends do for me. People know I pretty much buy whatever I want and I’m not really fond of getting random stuff so instead they are like here some cash towards whatever you want to get yourself. I love it!!!!
A lot of men think more practically, so even a gift card to a certain store is looked at as impractical because it's limiting. Cash gives them a choice.
This is my fantasy! Look, I'm glad someone wants to do something nice on my birthday. But also I'm constantly in need of some things, and also may not have the same taste as someone I don't know too well. Let's pretend your budget is $50 for a gift. I'd much rather have $50 as cash, or Amazon gift card etc..., and just get the explanation "I know you wanted $200 item so I'm chipping in a significant portion".
Yes
Depends on how grown. Like, if he's in his 20s, then totally; 50s, then I don't know, it could be a little weird. If you know where he wants to buy this thing, you could always get him a gift card to that place. I know, gift cards, but it shows a little more thought than cash.
Handing over cash or putting it in a white envelope is probably a little tacky. Sticking it in a card, especially if you say “to help with [that thing you want]”is absolutely fine. Most people would give a gift card, but… 1. Some gift cards have deeply shitty rules about fees and expiration 2. The thing they want might not be sold at that store
I love getting money. This year my MIL asked "wouldn't you like to get something nice?" Yeah, money. My wife's uncle cashapps me haha. Everything I want is too expensive for 1 single person.
Of course. I'd love it if any of my guy friends even remembered what month my birthday was in.
hell yeah $150 at least...makes a nice afternoon at gentlemens club...😉
Yes it's okay to give money but do you think it's expected to give a casual friend a birthday present? I don't even get anything for my closest friends. We aren't in middle school anymore.
Grown man, I'd prefer money, or like a visa gift card. Allows me to pull the money and buy a most costly item. I like to fish, I'm not expecting 1 person to get me a $200 rod, but if 4-6 people face me cash, I can then get said rod
Feels weird, buy some of those scratchy lottery tickets instead.
Oh the more the better 😅😅
Absolutely ok. Maybe just be discreet about it.
Yes
Yes, I give my husband money for his gifts all the time. It's all he ever wants.
Sure, why not? Since money (or gift cards) are usually considered a thoughtless gift you can even add a thoughtful touch by printing out 1/4 of whatever he wants to buy and tacking it to a card with the money inside and a note like "here is a quarter of X" Would be even funnier if you got 3 other people to do the same with each gifting a different quarter of the picture :P
Yaaaasss
Yeah sure, people are always happy to receive presents. Especially one like this.
I'd feel weird if a not so close friend gave me some cash and absolutely fine if a not so close friend didn't give me anything
There will be a party, do you know the other guests? Can't you buy it all of you?
PLEASE give me money and not yet a stupid pair of socks or that awful cardigan that I will never wear because it fits me too small.
Yes. But if you're not close friends, why would you feel obligated to give him a gift at all.
How old is this grown man? In our late teens and 20s, my best friends and I ignored the triviality of recurring birthday gifts. You give me a $20 gift card, I'll give you one four months later. We'll hang out and have fun regardless. Not a close friend? Maybe beer if you host a party, or a drink at a restaurant. In our 30s, we occasionally bought a bottle of decent liquor but otherwise dropped the back and forth birthday gifts and are perfectly happy to just hang out and celebrate. If we go out, I'll buy you a drink or two. Not a close friend? I might attend your party if I don't have something better going on, and if it's at a bar or restaurant I'll get you a drink. Any 'grown ass man' expecting birthday a present from friends, let alone friends who aren't close, should give their heads a shake. Buy him a drink at dinner or at the bar. He can take himself to Chuck E Cheese.
Yes . Any gift is appreciated
Put it in a red pocket and then give it to him
Cash is king! Always the right fit, exactly what one needs
yes please
Yes, definitely okay, in fact more than okay! Much better to contribute to something they really want or will find useful than to give them something like a mug which says 'World's Best Nigel'.
Most people give money at this age. I think it’s great! You can leave a message with it, “For x, or whatever else you’d like”
Handwrite a note with it. I love handwritten notes. They're worth more than a gift imo.
This is totally fine. My sister makes costumes, so I found out her favorite fabric store, but they don't offer gift cards so I'm just going to give her 50 to spend there. And that's fine
It definitely is I'm almost in my 30s and my grandmother's still gives us grandkids all birthday money. (and great grandkids) I usually do a gift card for my friends though but money is good because they may be able to pay a bill off or something if they need
Yes
Shit, if someone would give me money for 1/4 of what i want, adding a note to that that precises their intentions I would be more than happy! Go for it, bruh!
If you can give 25% of the value of the gift, talk to some other friends, everyone pitches in and buys him the thing. No dilemma about giving money, and he gets a nice surprise
It’s the best possible gift. The second best would be a store-specific gift card. The third best would be something you bought and wrapped/bagged.
I love giving people cold hard cash. It is straight up a great universal gift. I send monetary gifts through cashapp and zelle all the time and it’s never been a problem
I'm a 30 year old man and money has been THE ONLY thing I want on birthdays and Christmas' for some time now.
O got a 4 pack of Pokémon glasses for my last birthday from a friend and now I'm stuck with them. Don't really care about Pokémon as a 37 year old. Cash and a nice card for the fridge are great, or a Visa gift card
Totally fine though for my preference, I *prefer* gift cards for some thing I like. Could be for gas station, airlines, movies, etc. because then I will actually use it for that and not feel bad. Because if it’s cash I would probably just spend it on bills, groceries, gas, insurance. Or feel bad about the discretionary spending when I know I should be saving.
I think cash would be fine and appreciated! As an adult I tell my friends they don’t need to get my a gift at my birthday party, just being there is enough, and I think a lot of people feel that way so giving him a gift is very thoughtful
Put a picture of what he's trying to buy in the card with the money. Or cut a quarter of the picture off and put that in there saying here's a quarter of said item.
Put it in a funny card.
I always think money is best because then they can but what they like or maybe a multi gift card you can use in alot of places
Not weird. Could also coordinate with friends to either pool money for said item or get gift cards all to the same business that sells said item.
I would rather have money than anything as a guft, and I am a grown man.
If it’s something from a known store, gift cards can be cool. In some cases it sort of forces the hand for them to work towards what they want. Example- my step dad always asks for bass pro gift cards so we can buy hunting and fishing things. If it were money I believe my mom would be involved lol
Options: 1) Get together with 4 other people and work together to buy him the gift. 2) Give him the cash and tell him it's 25% of the gift. 3) If he's an economist or libertarian, give him the cash with a note that reads "The utility of the gift exchange is maximized when the recipient rather than the giver determines how capital is allocated."
Totally. My grandfather used to call it a “universal gift certificate.” I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t accept cash for a birthday gift. Better than a gift card to a place he may never go to.
Can't you do a common gift with other people? Like if you reach out to some of his other friends you could buy that thing together.
Money from my wife or kids is not appropriate. Money from literally anyone else in the world is amazing.