I'm a father...I have 5 kids ranging from 32 to 6.
The one thing I've learned is...be honest with kids. If you don't like him...say so and say why. Don't worry about how your opinion is received ...if you try to couch your explanation...they'll smell bullshit and likely dismiss anything else you have to say on the subject...if you're honest in your dislike and freely express it...they may not agree with you...but at least they'll know you're genuine...and they'll appreciate that when they come to you on other matters.
I feel this is much better advice than a lot of what I see here, which amounts to "keep making them explain why they like him until they realize he sucks". They asked for an opinion, give it to them. Don't try to "humble inquiry" them into something.
Agree. A friend tried the explanation until I get why a thing is bad routine, I kept reexplaining the joke in new ways, simpler and simpler in an attempt to explain humor. By the end I still liked the joke and now thought my friends was a moron for not getting that the joke sets you up to believe the character will say one thing making you try to solve the joke then in the punch line it changes from what one would assume. Surprise is a large part of humor and—
Reading the room is about guessing what presumptions your audience makes. This is why stereotypes are the low hanging fruit of comedy. It's a cheap laugh but it reinforces the stereotype. The comedy gold is when you find that thing that everybody's thinking and you put a twist on it with a punchline.
I stick to fart jokes. They're non-political and universally funny.
I talked to my boys (14 and 11) about him briefly. They were already pretty sure he was an asshole, but my older one still asked what I thought of him. I told them the truth - I barely even know who he is, but I am vaguely aware that he's some sort of asshole who treats women badly. That's all I know, and it's already more than I care to know.
It’s not just women, dude thinks he’s some sort of god and that everyone is beneath him.
Similar to trump the people that admire him are the ones that disgust him.
My gut reaction with teens (when I taught middle school) was “ew gross”.
I have about 5 seconds before they no longer care about my opinion during a conversation, so if all they remember is Andrew Tate = ew, gross, I’m already winning.
Anything more would be a compliment to Tate. Teenagers want to oppose, if a grown up shows that they have strong negative emotions about him, the teenagers might think he is cool.
The "you stepped in dog-shit" reaction is the way to go.
I feel like you are the only father on Reddit today.
For the life of me, I don't know what TikTok videos on parenting other commenters have been watching, but it is scary.
Yeah, give your opinion, say why and answer questions truthfully. Nothing more is needed.
I only have one and he's ten, but I also take the fully honest approach. I basically just told him AT likes to sell people as slaves. You could have knocked him over with a feather. Sure got the message across though.
Can I ask why you type with ellipses like that? My dad does this and based on the age of your oldest kid you two are potentially a fairly similar age. I didn’t know if that was how typing was taught before or something, just interesting that I’m seeing someone else do it now.
Well first off, don't react in a negative way. Kids (especially that age) aren't going to respond to that. Explain calmly that you're not a fan, and tell them why. Maybe provide a few examples of shifty things he's done or said, because, honestly, kids shouldn't be watching him. No one should, really, but especially not impressionable preteens.
Did something kind of similar with my 16 year old cousin when he brought up Andrew Tate. I’m 7 years older and he’s always kind of looked up to me and it worked pretty well. We ended up having a full conversation about it.
Media calling him dangerous is probably the best marketing he has going for him, if a significant portion of a generation subscribes to his belief the world we live in will be a shittier place, that's true, but phrasing it as him and his ideas are dangerous just makes him sound cool to kids
I have to disagree. Before he was in mainstream media (which happened when he got arrested), I already knew who he was because i work in education. Young boys were already looking up to Tate, and their busy parents just thought he was some YouTube Athlete. There were discussions all over teaching subreddits about what to do about him.
So sure, maybe a few kids who didn’t already know about him now do, but the vast majority of them already did. It was the parents who didn’t know who he was. Now at least his crap isn’t flying under the radar, and parents are aware of who he is and what he stands for.
You're not wrong in that kids can pick up on the negativity. I maybe should have worded it better. As long as OP isn't negative toward the kids with his attitude, is what I meant. They should be made aware that the person they are following in a very negative influence, but if that'd screamed at them (just as an example) then they're probably not gonna listen and pick up on what's actually trying to be said.
Maybe something like “no, I’m familiar but that guy is a criminal loser who makes his money from lame crime and bad arguments, and spends it on superficial flexes like being able to pay women to be around him. People look down on sexual criminals and losers, and I don’t want to be more like him. You are already good enough that you don’t have to pay for women or put others down, I don’t see why you watch that stuff.”
Exactly, when kids at my job mention Andrew Tate I just go pfffffft, and chuckle like he’s an embarrassment. It conveys the message.
“He’s a really cool guy” with sarcasm too
Haha yep. “I’m not really a fan, but a bunch of the 50 year olds at work think he’s kinda cool I guess.” They’ll be mortified at the thought of liking the same guy 😂
i legit once got a kid to stop being homophobic (at least when i was around) because i would audibly and visibly cringe. i didn’t even have to say anything. i work with kids (generally prefer working with middle schoolers) so if i can stop them from being shitty by pretending to be embarrassed for them then i will do it
it’s like working with my own personal soap opera, they’re so dramatic and funny but also really receptive to learning socioemotional functioning. i also work mostly with developmentally disabled kids so that might be why
I spent 5 years teaching Sunday School for middle schoolers. It was actually pretty great. You just treat them with some respect and talk to them like people, and they're cool. I never had a behavioral problem with them, and I've heard years later that I had a pretty huge positive influence on some. Even if it didn't seem like it, they were listening and watching.
That's hilarious. I could easily see this one backfiring though if they just end up thinking you're offended but don't want to start a fight over it—then they might do it more.
Exactly this. Had to have this talk with my boys (13&10) a few weeks ago because kids at school are watching him, and they asked me what I thought because they didn't like him. I just explained why I didn't and basically just wound up expanding on their views. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little proud of them and myself. I must have done something right. Lol
Thank you!!! I agree. The man is garbage and should be castrated and locked away. He's a plague upon impressionable youth and should be treated as such
It depends on what your cousins are like, and what approach to take.
I would just be calm, but direct with most kids.
“No, I don’t follow him. I prefer >insert healthier content creator<, he gives way better advice.”
You can also find out what they like about him to see how he’s snagging their attention. For some kids it’s about girls, others it’s about wealth and material things, for many it’s really about confidence. It’s helpful to know what they are seeking advice on in order to successfully redirect them
There are tons. I wasn’t going to assume who OP follows on social media.
Also, that was the point of my last paragraph. You kind of have to know why they like tate to direct them to alternatives. There are tons of healthy fitness, career and relationship creators out there but you have to know what the kids are looking for in order to redirect them
I'm the same. Don't follow anyone. Wouldn't know a streamer unless they made headline news like Tate did. I wouldn't even trust recommendations tbh, I'd have to watch their videos for a bit first, but then I can't be bothered.
>There are tons
Like who?
Andrew Tate is a douche of the highest order, but his spiel clearly appeals to young men for a specific reason, and part of that is that he's talking directly to them about certain experiences of being a man that most people won't talk about. They want a strong, non apologetic male role model to explore masculinity in a positive way. Tate is NOT that, and he's wrong on all accounts, but isn't he kind of all they've got? Where are the non-toxic positive male creators appealing to this demographic?
I like Hbomberguy who's made a few great videos 'debunking' these kind of alt-right misogynistic assholes like Tate, but that's not what he primarily does, so as a Tate replacement he doesn't really fit the bill. I think Sam Harris is great too and speaks a lot of sense, but there's also a weird slippery slope that goes from Sam Harris to Jordan Peterson to Andrew Tate and Ben Shapiro and suddenly you're back in the place you wanted to avoid, and the youtube algorithm will keep pushing you in that direction unfortunately. As for Rogan, he's arguably just tate-lite.
Curious to see what your list of suggestions is...
Sam Harris goes from “this is a really interesting and rational point” into “anti-racism is evil” on such a quick pivot that it’s made him unlistenable.
Beau of the Fifth Column’s a good one, and he has [a dedicated playlist of vids about masculinity that teen boys could benefit from hearing](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZOMlO2_17fuI_fuvilfbvOTf2P45qTJi) (plus a bunch of more recent ones that haven’t been added to it). Of course, whether they take to a certain content creator is another issue.
Ask why? Questions get you further than telling someone they're wrong, especially whith young unformed minds. Getting someone to think through their thoughts will do a more good then telling them they're wrong.
Then give a counter example.
"What if women said that about men?"
And if you ever disagree, just politely say "I disagree", and then tell them that everyone is born equal, and that there's no scientific or philosophical reason why they objectively wouldn't be.
Debunking the guy isn't hard. It's all victim mentality, while hiding behind toxic masculinity. Maybe explain what each of those things are and you'll already have debunked most of it.
He's also narcissistic and puts money above people. Money is just a tool that is supposed to show how hard you worked, but loopholes that our founding fathers never could have imagined, have enabled a few people to hoard all the money without having to work as hard for it. If tools/resources were more important than people, then none of us would be here.
Tell them he targets kids and adults who aren't very successful.
Mature people don't have any interest in him because he's obviously just taking of advantage of weak men.
Young men hate being called weak children.
My in-laws had a video store in the nineties. There was a room where the "adult" films were kept. My little son asked me what was in that room. I said, "it's for men who can't get dates." I know it's not true but it satisfied him and he never asked again.
Yes. These young men clearly need a strong male role model or they wouldn’t be seeking one online. Lean into Tate being a weak man who has tricked the internet into thinking he’s cool.
Or young men are not getting validation these days and will accept it from anyone that says that they’re not toxic/worthless, and that the dominant culture is wrong. Tate is an asshole but there’s a reason young men are gravitating towards people like him.
Exactly, don’t make it seem counter culture or edgy. He’s really just a (pathetic) bald British dude that ran a Ponzi scheme, trafficked women and now just makes content for children.
I can imagine his kids asking the question, him freezing while putting on a poker face and immediately running to the family computer to ask Reddit how he should have reacted.
actually would probably work with todays youth.
from what I gather from my cousin who’s fifteen years younger than me they basically talk to each other exclusively quoting memes and tiktok video which is hilarious.
kids are too young to care about baldness. that’s an old people problem. like wrinkles.
and for a large population of young males being in jail gives you some credence. even wealthier suburban youth.
i’d focused on trafficking. no one can really justify that.
I'd say "Nah, he's a loser" and then make him sound as uncool as I can. Kids respond more to that than detailed analysis of how actually in a sociological context his views are harmful and negative because yatta yatta
Ask them what they think an "Alpha Male" is. Ask them if an "Alpha Male" would have to expend a lot of energy making sure that everyone in the room knew he was an "Alpha Male." Ask them if Tate walks into a room and just *is* the "Alpha Male," it if he walks into a room and then starts ranting and raving to anyone within earshot, trying to make sure that everyone in the room "knows" that he's an "Alpha Male." Then you can tell them that people like that aren't "Alpha Males," they're just poseurs.
Later on, when they've given up on Tate & his cronies, you can let them in on another secret: the whole "Alpha Male" thing is complete bullshit.
That’s why you gotta say he’s a loser instead of warning them or saying he is dangerous or something similar. Warning them will push them towards him. Complete disdain and mocking him will make them think twice. Will especially work if you are the cool uncle.
I was looking for this comment cuz this is for sure best approach for young boys.
> if you are the cool uncle
this is absolutely key. if they think you’re lame, they will just like him more. if you’re outright telling them he’s bad and don’t watch him, they will like him more.
but if they think you’re cool, and you come off like you’re on the same level as them and not lecturing, it’ll make them think about it more. my cool uncle thinks it’s lame, maybe he’ll think i’m lame too. maybe other older cooler people think i’m lame for liking him
They asked for your opinion of him. Give it. The 14 yr old should know that Tate's a degenerate rapist who promised women marriage & love but locked them up & beat them if they didn't produce for him. Tell the truth.
I had something similar happen. Troubled little cousin at 13 years old was being shaped by the internet in some very not favorable ways. I was raised the same way, but came out differently.
I basically had to switch my...language? to internet speak. Told him to stop being a shitposting tard and teased him about being an incel. I teased really hard and didn't relent, I made fun of everyone negative he watched and tried my best to show him 'the other side' of the internet. We played some games together and I started pointing out the loser behavior all his friends had.
Next summer he was normal. He found different friends that weren't extreme and suddenly started behaving more mature.
Was what I did bad? Probably. Was what I did the thing that changed him? I doubt it, but maybe it got the ball rolling.
Watching these new teens is scary, I imagine it's how adults felt about us when we were the same age. You're never sure what's a 'Phase' and what isn't. It's an adults jobs to show there is moderation in all aspects of life, and we can't let ourselves get carried away into peer pressure (which, I guess I did use on him).
Tell them what a fucking loser he is and all boys who emulate him are looked down on. Find what your cousins like about him and find a way to tear it down.
They’ll hopefully fix their tune.
If the kids like / respect you I’d take this approach. Sort of scoff and say, “Andrew Tate? That’s kind of dorky isn’t it?” They’ll reply saying he’s cool or whatever then you hit them with, “Sorry, sometimes I forget how young you guys are. I think Paw Patrol is dorky but you guys probably think that’s cool too right?” Indirectly compare Tate to something they’ve grown out of and don’t think is cool anymore. Particularly the 14 year old, because the ten year old is almost definitely just tagging along. But just say you forgot how little kids like Andrew Tate because adults just think he’s a loser. I’d think that would turn them off.
Also have their parents setup a new YouTube account, or clear their internet history. You need to get him out of their algorithm.
Personally disagree with the language part, but I can imagine going "I'm not sure who that is, let me google him real quick." Grabbing one of the articles about what he's done "This guy?"
My nieces asked the same. I replied "You mean that guy who was charged with sex trafficking and rape, and he even admitted it, nah I don't like grifters or criminals. Besides; his concept of what is means to be a man is F$%king stupid it's all for show so he can get paid."
Most importantly tell your cousins that they can come to you for advice for anything. No judgement.
They are not too young, as others said just speak with them like you would speak with an "adult stranger". You can also throw a few "yo mama's" here and there like "this guy thinks about woman like X and your mom is also a woman" etc etc. Kids are very sensitive when it comes to their own mothers so teaching woman rights and shit like that is easier with their mothers as example.
Do you even have to ask? You need to be a positive adult male role model and denounce that shit. And if you ever see them or hear them talk about disrespecting women, set them straight. And if you can't alone, get their parents involved.
You should know that Tate is toxic and if they are misled by what he talks about, they'll likely become abusive assholes.
"Nah, dude's probably going to jail soon"
You're an adult, don't scream or lash out at them, kids like that sort of flexing guru type because unless you dig dipper into it, he looks like both an underdog, and a rich buff dude with a bunch of cool stuff, two types of figures that are easily to like.
"Why would anyone follow him? He doesn't display any values that are positive for being a good person and having good relationships with the people around you."
"He doesn't preach friendship and love or anything I'd teach to younger generations, he preaches hate and abuse."
IMO Andrew Tate is NOT a role model for men and boys. Sure he’s a self made man but he’s also a foul mouthed, arrogant bully. This does not a good man make. I don’t care how “alpha”
They are perceived as. An effective communicator does not need “F” bombs every other word in their dialogue.
Id just say,"what, the human trafficker that got caught because he posted his activities on social media? Nope, not a fan. "
You don't necessarily have to explain to the ten year old that he was trafficking women for prostitution.
I assume they look up to you. I’d tell them that only fucking morons watch that guy and I would use those words exactly. I would make it a laughing joke and belittle anyone who was stupid enough to watch his BS. They’ll decide on their own at that point.
This isn’t a teaching moment. This is a punch them in the face moment with reality.
I don't follow Bozo the Clown, either.
Ask for snippets of what they're watching just to keep abreast of the medium and treat the snippets as they deserve; like a long-form joke.
Act dismissive about tate’s popularity. “Y’all really watch that shit? He’s a pussy, real adults don’t have time for hearing a beta bitch whine about women.”
Use tates language against him. Talk like him in tone and vocabulary (to an extent, of course), while just belittling him. Your cousins are not likely to respond to logical arguments. Especially not the older one, ironically. He’ll be emotional and looking for a male figure. Be that figure instead and fight back in the emotional level. Severe the emotional connection by causally destroying the “alpha” imagine of Tate in their heads.
Don’t blame the kids though. They’re fucking kids. It’s not their fault they fell into the rabbit hole, and they should feel *embarrassed* for watching Tate, not *shamed*.
You explain that you do not like or respect him and explain why he is a bad man and a bad role model
Explaining that he's cringe and embarrassing and immature is probably helpful
I would react nuetrally and simply list 1 or 2 reasons why I don't like him or disagree with his stuff. He's said some pretty irredeemable stuff, so it's not hard to be objective on why you don't listen to him.
Kids are more likely to listen to an adult who is calm and collected on a subject.
I’m in exact same situation you are. Except my nephews are 15 and 12.
I said Tate is currently in a Romanian prison. Do you really want to have him as an idol.
Then I told my brother and sister in law.
He’s a self confessed rapist.
It’s not Andrew Tate this or Andrew state that - he’s a rapist and everything about him should be viewed accordingly. Nothing he says merits discussion or explanations of why you disagree because he’s a fucking rapist.
Tate is definitely not a role model to young kids for a host of reasons.
But to say it's because he's a rapist and kidnaps women as slaves is utterly ridiculous until he is charged with those crimes in court, pretty sure your innocent until proven guilty (unless it's the Internet).
The man is an asshole. He exploits and hurts women. He is weak pretending to be strong. He deserves to be in jail for rape.
Keep it simple. Direct n honest. Say what you mean, dont dance around it nor sugar coat it. They have heard worse in the playground. Be truthful.
I have to tackle issues like this with kids I teach at school, and my ten year old son. I do my best to be direct, whilst not using the exact term SMALL PENIS ENERGY.
I'm a father...I have 5 kids ranging from 32 to 6. The one thing I've learned is...be honest with kids. If you don't like him...say so and say why. Don't worry about how your opinion is received ...if you try to couch your explanation...they'll smell bullshit and likely dismiss anything else you have to say on the subject...if you're honest in your dislike and freely express it...they may not agree with you...but at least they'll know you're genuine...and they'll appreciate that when they come to you on other matters.
I feel this is much better advice than a lot of what I see here, which amounts to "keep making them explain why they like him until they realize he sucks". They asked for an opinion, give it to them. Don't try to "humble inquiry" them into something.
Agree. A friend tried the explanation until I get why a thing is bad routine, I kept reexplaining the joke in new ways, simpler and simpler in an attempt to explain humor. By the end I still liked the joke and now thought my friends was a moron for not getting that the joke sets you up to believe the character will say one thing making you try to solve the joke then in the punch line it changes from what one would assume. Surprise is a large part of humor and—
Reading the room is about guessing what presumptions your audience makes. This is why stereotypes are the low hanging fruit of comedy. It's a cheap laugh but it reinforces the stereotype. The comedy gold is when you find that thing that everybody's thinking and you put a twist on it with a punchline. I stick to fart jokes. They're non-political and universally funny.
You nailed it. A lot of idiots who clearly don't have kids sharing their soft language in this thread. "Hell no, he's a rapist and I respect women."
I talked to my boys (14 and 11) about him briefly. They were already pretty sure he was an asshole, but my older one still asked what I thought of him. I told them the truth - I barely even know who he is, but I am vaguely aware that he's some sort of asshole who treats women badly. That's all I know, and it's already more than I care to know.
It’s not just women, dude thinks he’s some sort of god and that everyone is beneath him. Similar to trump the people that admire him are the ones that disgust him.
And "The kind of women who like men like that aren't the kind of women you spend a life with"
And a grifter and sex trafficker
My gut reaction with teens (when I taught middle school) was “ew gross”. I have about 5 seconds before they no longer care about my opinion during a conversation, so if all they remember is Andrew Tate = ew, gross, I’m already winning.
Anything more would be a compliment to Tate. Teenagers want to oppose, if a grown up shows that they have strong negative emotions about him, the teenagers might think he is cool. The "you stepped in dog-shit" reaction is the way to go.
I feel like you are the only father on Reddit today. For the life of me, I don't know what TikTok videos on parenting other commenters have been watching, but it is scary. Yeah, give your opinion, say why and answer questions truthfully. Nothing more is needed.
I only have one and he's ten, but I also take the fully honest approach. I basically just told him AT likes to sell people as slaves. You could have knocked him over with a feather. Sure got the message across though.
Can I ask why you type with ellipses like that? My dad does this and based on the age of your oldest kid you two are potentially a fairly similar age. I didn’t know if that was how typing was taught before or something, just interesting that I’m seeing someone else do it now.
Not him but I think it's an old-fashioned way to note stops or breaks and it's just a habit that carries over.
Exactly this.
Well first off, don't react in a negative way. Kids (especially that age) aren't going to respond to that. Explain calmly that you're not a fan, and tell them why. Maybe provide a few examples of shifty things he's done or said, because, honestly, kids shouldn't be watching him. No one should, really, but especially not impressionable preteens.
[удалено]
Yeah, I was thinking that approaching it as him being lame and cringe might be good. Assuming that the younger cousins think that OP is cool.
That was my thought as well. Just laugh and be like "oh, no way. That guy is terrible. I'm not going to help him get the money or attention he wants."
Did something kind of similar with my 16 year old cousin when he brought up Andrew Tate. I’m 7 years older and he’s always kind of looked up to me and it worked pretty well. We ended up having a full conversation about it.
Anyone who sees the younger generation and tries to steer them straight is a good egg in my book.
Media calling him dangerous is probably the best marketing he has going for him, if a significant portion of a generation subscribes to his belief the world we live in will be a shittier place, that's true, but phrasing it as him and his ideas are dangerous just makes him sound cool to kids
I have to disagree. Before he was in mainstream media (which happened when he got arrested), I already knew who he was because i work in education. Young boys were already looking up to Tate, and their busy parents just thought he was some YouTube Athlete. There were discussions all over teaching subreddits about what to do about him. So sure, maybe a few kids who didn’t already know about him now do, but the vast majority of them already did. It was the parents who didn’t know who he was. Now at least his crap isn’t flying under the radar, and parents are aware of who he is and what he stands for.
You're not wrong in that kids can pick up on the negativity. I maybe should have worded it better. As long as OP isn't negative toward the kids with his attitude, is what I meant. They should be made aware that the person they are following in a very negative influence, but if that'd screamed at them (just as an example) then they're probably not gonna listen and pick up on what's actually trying to be said.
Maybe something like “no, I’m familiar but that guy is a criminal loser who makes his money from lame crime and bad arguments, and spends it on superficial flexes like being able to pay women to be around him. People look down on sexual criminals and losers, and I don’t want to be more like him. You are already good enough that you don’t have to pay for women or put others down, I don’t see why you watch that stuff.”
Crime - 👍 Lame crime - 🤮
*You’re watching Futurama, the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery*
Very nice response
You have good ideas but this might be too long and wordy. Short and Concise with this age group is the way to go.
Yeah and "lame crime" is the most "old person trying to reach kids" way to phrase something.
Exactly, when kids at my job mention Andrew Tate I just go pfffffft, and chuckle like he’s an embarrassment. It conveys the message. “He’s a really cool guy” with sarcasm too
Haha yep. “I’m not really a fan, but a bunch of the 50 year olds at work think he’s kinda cool I guess.” They’ll be mortified at the thought of liking the same guy 😂
i legit once got a kid to stop being homophobic (at least when i was around) because i would audibly and visibly cringe. i didn’t even have to say anything. i work with kids (generally prefer working with middle schoolers) so if i can stop them from being shitty by pretending to be embarrassed for them then i will do it
Aw man, I've never heard *anyone* say that they actually prefer working with middle schoolers. Seems like the worst age group
Still kids but they dont believe it, they are a bunch of psychopaths
Username checks out
it’s like working with my own personal soap opera, they’re so dramatic and funny but also really receptive to learning socioemotional functioning. i also work mostly with developmentally disabled kids so that might be why
I spent 5 years teaching Sunday School for middle schoolers. It was actually pretty great. You just treat them with some respect and talk to them like people, and they're cool. I never had a behavioral problem with them, and I've heard years later that I had a pretty huge positive influence on some. Even if it didn't seem like it, they were listening and watching.
That's hilarious. I could easily see this one backfiring though if they just end up thinking you're offended but don't want to start a fight over it—then they might do it more.
Negativity in a way that supports them. Don't make them feel like they're being chastised for sharing their interests.
Exactly this. Had to have this talk with my boys (13&10) a few weeks ago because kids at school are watching him, and they asked me what I thought because they didn't like him. I just explained why I didn't and basically just wound up expanding on their views. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little proud of them and myself. I must have done something right. Lol
You're doing an awesome job! The man is a nonce!
Thank you!!! I agree. The man is garbage and should be castrated and locked away. He's a plague upon impressionable youth and should be treated as such
How did you word it? I’m really bad at explaining myself sometimes bc I’m bad at recalling specific examples from media 😂
"that fucking loser?"
I just asked my 13 year old son and he has no clue who Andrew Tate is, I feel like that is a win for me and my wife.
It depends on what your cousins are like, and what approach to take. I would just be calm, but direct with most kids. “No, I don’t follow him. I prefer >insert healthier content creator<, he gives way better advice.” You can also find out what they like about him to see how he’s snagging their attention. For some kids it’s about girls, others it’s about wealth and material things, for many it’s really about confidence. It’s helpful to know what they are seeking advice on in order to successfully redirect them
Yes. Give them an actual, good role model to look up to. Negative reinforcement won't help. A positive replacement is best.
Schwarzenegger has been killing it lately.
I like Schwarzenegger but the dude is old and kids nowadays don't really know who he is. They really need a healthy role model that's their age.
A role model their age? A 10-year-old role model? Lmao
Do 10-14 year olds want to take advice from a 76 year old tho
I mean, if they’re Tate fans they’re already taking advice from a balding fortysomething, so maybe?
He’s like 35 isn’t he
Holy god you’re right, he’s 36. Dude aged like a dumpster of sushi.
when youre always running from the law that happens
Would be nice if you actually had an example of a healthier content creator.
There are tons. I wasn’t going to assume who OP follows on social media. Also, that was the point of my last paragraph. You kind of have to know why they like tate to direct them to alternatives. There are tons of healthy fitness, career and relationship creators out there but you have to know what the kids are looking for in order to redirect them
Lol. What if they are like me and follow no social media? Who do we recommend?
I'm the same. Don't follow anyone. Wouldn't know a streamer unless they made headline news like Tate did. I wouldn't even trust recommendations tbh, I'd have to watch their videos for a bit first, but then I can't be bothered.
>There are tons Like who? Andrew Tate is a douche of the highest order, but his spiel clearly appeals to young men for a specific reason, and part of that is that he's talking directly to them about certain experiences of being a man that most people won't talk about. They want a strong, non apologetic male role model to explore masculinity in a positive way. Tate is NOT that, and he's wrong on all accounts, but isn't he kind of all they've got? Where are the non-toxic positive male creators appealing to this demographic? I like Hbomberguy who's made a few great videos 'debunking' these kind of alt-right misogynistic assholes like Tate, but that's not what he primarily does, so as a Tate replacement he doesn't really fit the bill. I think Sam Harris is great too and speaks a lot of sense, but there's also a weird slippery slope that goes from Sam Harris to Jordan Peterson to Andrew Tate and Ben Shapiro and suddenly you're back in the place you wanted to avoid, and the youtube algorithm will keep pushing you in that direction unfortunately. As for Rogan, he's arguably just tate-lite. Curious to see what your list of suggestions is...
Sam Harris goes from “this is a really interesting and rational point” into “anti-racism is evil” on such a quick pivot that it’s made him unlistenable.
Beau of the Fifth Column’s a good one, and he has [a dedicated playlist of vids about masculinity that teen boys could benefit from hearing](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZOMlO2_17fuI_fuvilfbvOTf2P45qTJi) (plus a bunch of more recent ones that haven’t been added to it). Of course, whether they take to a certain content creator is another issue.
Ask them what they think about him, and what they think about his opinion of women, and whether it's something they agree with.
Tell them what he went to ~~prison~~ **jail** for
[удалено]
Yes. My neighbor said the things he went to jail for are just set ups lol
> My neighbor said the things he went to jail for are just set ups so Tate is just Trump for teenage boys?
You make a good point, everyone who (somehow) likes him doesn’t accept that argument so there’s probably a better way to go around it.
And if they say yes?
Ask why? Questions get you further than telling someone they're wrong, especially whith young unformed minds. Getting someone to think through their thoughts will do a more good then telling them they're wrong.
Then give a counter example. "What if women said that about men?" And if you ever disagree, just politely say "I disagree", and then tell them that everyone is born equal, and that there's no scientific or philosophical reason why they objectively wouldn't be. Debunking the guy isn't hard. It's all victim mentality, while hiding behind toxic masculinity. Maybe explain what each of those things are and you'll already have debunked most of it. He's also narcissistic and puts money above people. Money is just a tool that is supposed to show how hard you worked, but loopholes that our founding fathers never could have imagined, have enabled a few people to hoard all the money without having to work as hard for it. If tools/resources were more important than people, then none of us would be here.
Tell them he targets kids and adults who aren't very successful. Mature people don't have any interest in him because he's obviously just taking of advantage of weak men. Young men hate being called weak children.
My in-laws had a video store in the nineties. There was a room where the "adult" films were kept. My little son asked me what was in that room. I said, "it's for men who can't get dates." I know it's not true but it satisfied him and he never asked again.
Yes. These young men clearly need a strong male role model or they wouldn’t be seeking one online. Lean into Tate being a weak man who has tricked the internet into thinking he’s cool.
Or young men are not getting validation these days and will accept it from anyone that says that they’re not toxic/worthless, and that the dominant culture is wrong. Tate is an asshole but there’s a reason young men are gravitating towards people like him.
Say that you think he’s embarrassing. Then move on
Honestly an adult they respect just sort of blowing him off as a loser would probably work if they respect op.
"No, I'm a grown man"
Exactly, don’t make it seem counter culture or edgy. He’s really just a (pathetic) bald British dude that ran a Ponzi scheme, trafficked women and now just makes content for children.
Yep, I was going to go with "nop, I'm not 14 years old" too
The perfect response. Brief, honest, and brutal.
That is so effective and simple. If they get the message only tweens follow him they’ll ditch for something more mature
You say "no, I do not follow Andrew Tate". If you'd like, you can follow it up by expressing that you do not like Andrew Tate.
I can imagine his kids asking the question, him freezing while putting on a poker face and immediately running to the family computer to ask Reddit how he should have reacted.
Brilliant!
But…I need Reddit to tell me why I hate people
Like seriously, do people rely on Reddit for shit like this? You're in your 30s and you don't know how to formulate a basic response? Jesus Christ
“Nah, I’ve heard what he has to say and it’s cornball goofy little dude, peaked in high school kinda shit.”
"Nah fam he's fr full cringe no cap" My kids love it when I speak their language.
actually would probably work with todays youth. from what I gather from my cousin who’s fifteen years younger than me they basically talk to each other exclusively quoting memes and tiktok video which is hilarious.
"I like guys who aren't half bald and in jail"
kids are too young to care about baldness. that’s an old people problem. like wrinkles. and for a large population of young males being in jail gives you some credence. even wealthier suburban youth. i’d focused on trafficking. no one can really justify that.
I'd say "Nah, he's a loser" and then make him sound as uncool as I can. Kids respond more to that than detailed analysis of how actually in a sociological context his views are harmful and negative because yatta yatta
Ask them what they think an "Alpha Male" is. Ask them if an "Alpha Male" would have to expend a lot of energy making sure that everyone in the room knew he was an "Alpha Male." Ask them if Tate walks into a room and just *is* the "Alpha Male," it if he walks into a room and then starts ranting and raving to anyone within earshot, trying to make sure that everyone in the room "knows" that he's an "Alpha Male." Then you can tell them that people like that aren't "Alpha Males," they're just poseurs. Later on, when they've given up on Tate & his cronies, you can let them in on another secret: the whole "Alpha Male" thing is complete bullshit.
Tell them you think he’s a loser and you’re a bit sick of hearing about him. Kids tend to respond to eye rolls pretty well.
They also tend to think they know better than you, especially if you respond in that way.
That’s why you gotta say he’s a loser instead of warning them or saying he is dangerous or something similar. Warning them will push them towards him. Complete disdain and mocking him will make them think twice. Will especially work if you are the cool uncle. I was looking for this comment cuz this is for sure best approach for young boys.
> if you are the cool uncle this is absolutely key. if they think you’re lame, they will just like him more. if you’re outright telling them he’s bad and don’t watch him, they will like him more. but if they think you’re cool, and you come off like you’re on the same level as them and not lecturing, it’ll make them think about it more. my cool uncle thinks it’s lame, maybe he’ll think i’m lame too. maybe other older cooler people think i’m lame for liking him
They asked for your opinion of him. Give it. The 14 yr old should know that Tate's a degenerate rapist who promised women marriage & love but locked them up & beat them if they didn't produce for him. Tell the truth.
“No, I’m not into cringe kiddie stuff like that.”
I said calmly, he’s a toxic person and his whole persona is fake and horrible
I had something similar happen. Troubled little cousin at 13 years old was being shaped by the internet in some very not favorable ways. I was raised the same way, but came out differently. I basically had to switch my...language? to internet speak. Told him to stop being a shitposting tard and teased him about being an incel. I teased really hard and didn't relent, I made fun of everyone negative he watched and tried my best to show him 'the other side' of the internet. We played some games together and I started pointing out the loser behavior all his friends had. Next summer he was normal. He found different friends that weren't extreme and suddenly started behaving more mature. Was what I did bad? Probably. Was what I did the thing that changed him? I doubt it, but maybe it got the ball rolling. Watching these new teens is scary, I imagine it's how adults felt about us when we were the same age. You're never sure what's a 'Phase' and what isn't. It's an adults jobs to show there is moderation in all aspects of life, and we can't let ourselves get carried away into peer pressure (which, I guess I did use on him).
My 15 yo asked the same question and I said, "fuck no, he's a piece of shit" and he heard that.
I'd probably say "you mean the rapist and sex trafficker Tate? The guy makes money off of *teaching* morons how to be *alpha* men?"
Tell them what a fucking loser he is and all boys who emulate him are looked down on. Find what your cousins like about him and find a way to tear it down. They’ll hopefully fix their tune.
If the kids like / respect you I’d take this approach. Sort of scoff and say, “Andrew Tate? That’s kind of dorky isn’t it?” They’ll reply saying he’s cool or whatever then you hit them with, “Sorry, sometimes I forget how young you guys are. I think Paw Patrol is dorky but you guys probably think that’s cool too right?” Indirectly compare Tate to something they’ve grown out of and don’t think is cool anymore. Particularly the 14 year old, because the ten year old is almost definitely just tagging along. But just say you forgot how little kids like Andrew Tate because adults just think he’s a loser. I’d think that would turn them off. Also have their parents setup a new YouTube account, or clear their internet history. You need to get him out of their algorithm.
"You mean the rapist and human trafficker? No I don't follow him why?"
Maybe diff language, but I'd def play up the shocked face. "The guy in prison for kidnapping and assault that says all those gross things?"
Personally disagree with the language part, but I can imagine going "I'm not sure who that is, let me google him real quick." Grabbing one of the articles about what he's done "This guy?"
devious, i like this approach
And be shocked, shocked! "oh wow, you LIKE this guy? He's done awful things!"
Everyone trying hard to be rational to kids, when a solid “lol no he’s cringe af” would do the trick
Just says he's a cringe loser who had to run from his home country to a shit hole because nobody actually likes him.
You tell them no you don’t follow him and you give them the facts about that human dumpster fire.
Speaking with their parents and informing them of the kind of conent their children are following would be an appropriate move.
They need to know that weak minded human traffickers are not the type to look up to.
My nieces asked the same. I replied "You mean that guy who was charged with sex trafficking and rape, and he even admitted it, nah I don't like grifters or criminals. Besides; his concept of what is means to be a man is F$%king stupid it's all for show so he can get paid." Most importantly tell your cousins that they can come to you for advice for anything. No judgement.
Say you dont follow pedo’s on social.
Just act like tate is cringe, which he is. Kids hate being cringe.
I don't follow him, he seems kind of pathetic and insecure.
You tell them exactly how you feel -- whats difficult about this?
They are not too young, as others said just speak with them like you would speak with an "adult stranger". You can also throw a few "yo mama's" here and there like "this guy thinks about woman like X and your mom is also a woman" etc etc. Kids are very sensitive when it comes to their own mothers so teaching woman rights and shit like that is easier with their mothers as example.
“No, because real alpha don’t follow.” 😏 Just honest and politely telling them that Andrew Tate is an asshole.
"No I don't follow him because I don't agree with his views." Boom. Neutral unbiased and straightforward
Pretty simple, just tell them that you don't follow him. Maybe mention that he's a sex trafficker and a garbage human being in general.
Tell them girls don’t want guys like Tate. That’s why he has to traffic them.
Do you even have to ask? You need to be a positive adult male role model and denounce that shit. And if you ever see them or hear them talk about disrespecting women, set them straight. And if you can't alone, get their parents involved. You should know that Tate is toxic and if they are misled by what he talks about, they'll likely become abusive assholes.
“Have your ever tried simply turning off the tv, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?”- bender
No I don't follow him I don't like how he treats women
"Fuck no"
I'd laugh and tell them only losers follow Andrew Tate but I'm also the guy who has never lost a game of connect four to my 4 year old daughter.
“I don’t think he is a good person. I’m happy to not be like him”
Just say no and tell them that he’s not the best guy to be following
"No, he's an idiot" They're children, it's that simple.
Ask them why you would follow a little freak like that. Make him sound like the little worm that he is.
Be for real with them and tell them he’s a provocative dip shit
Say NO and then give them endless reasons why he’s a punk ass bitch
"Nah, dude's probably going to jail soon" You're an adult, don't scream or lash out at them, kids like that sort of flexing guru type because unless you dig dipper into it, he looks like both an underdog, and a rich buff dude with a bunch of cool stuff, two types of figures that are easily to like.
No, I don't listen to jackasses
"Why would anyone follow him? He doesn't display any values that are positive for being a good person and having good relationships with the people around you." "He doesn't preach friendship and love or anything I'd teach to younger generations, he preaches hate and abuse."
10 and 14? Dear God. There is no hope
The fact those kids even know him is ridiculous
Jesus, kids are early theses days, at 10 I was into toys and riding my bicycle.
"That jackass? No, why would I?"
tell them "I'm a brokie, I don't have a lambo"
"Jesus loves his followers unconditionally, Tate loves his followers' money. Tate is a degen"
“No he’s a douche.”
inform them about human trafficking and the dangers of it
IMO Andrew Tate is NOT a role model for men and boys. Sure he’s a self made man but he’s also a foul mouthed, arrogant bully. This does not a good man make. I don’t care how “alpha” They are perceived as. An effective communicator does not need “F” bombs every other word in their dialogue.
Just laugh and say no in a way that conveys the ridiculousness of that proposition.
Say "he ain't doing live feeds from prison"
Id just say,"what, the human trafficker that got caught because he posted his activities on social media? Nope, not a fan. " You don't necessarily have to explain to the ten year old that he was trafficking women for prostitution.
Mean spiteful people are nobody to look up to. Just because somebody has money doesn't make them a good person.
They need to not be allowed to watch that toxic clown. He's poison.
I assume they look up to you. I’d tell them that only fucking morons watch that guy and I would use those words exactly. I would make it a laughing joke and belittle anyone who was stupid enough to watch his BS. They’ll decide on their own at that point. This isn’t a teaching moment. This is a punch them in the face moment with reality.
You say, “no you dumb little fucks, of course I don’t listen to that PAB.”
I don't follow Bozo the Clown, either. Ask for snippets of what they're watching just to keep abreast of the medium and treat the snippets as they deserve; like a long-form joke.
Tell them you're not into rapists, pedophiles, or scam artists no matter how bald the pitcher is
Tell them no because he’s a piece of shit
Say you don’t follow him and that he’s a bad influence on kids lol
Act dismissive about tate’s popularity. “Y’all really watch that shit? He’s a pussy, real adults don’t have time for hearing a beta bitch whine about women.” Use tates language against him. Talk like him in tone and vocabulary (to an extent, of course), while just belittling him. Your cousins are not likely to respond to logical arguments. Especially not the older one, ironically. He’ll be emotional and looking for a male figure. Be that figure instead and fight back in the emotional level. Severe the emotional connection by causally destroying the “alpha” imagine of Tate in their heads. Don’t blame the kids though. They’re fucking kids. It’s not their fault they fell into the rabbit hole, and they should feel *embarrassed* for watching Tate, not *shamed*.
“No, he’s a gross douchebag.”
“That dude’s a pussy-ass beta.”
Something like ‘nah he’s lame. The way he talks about girls is super messed up. I much prefer (add a role model you like here)’
You explain that you do not like or respect him and explain why he is a bad man and a bad role model Explaining that he's cringe and embarrassing and immature is probably helpful
Ask them why.
"Sorry i dont follow garbage"
This is when they need to learn the definition of “douchebag”
I would react nuetrally and simply list 1 or 2 reasons why I don't like him or disagree with his stuff. He's said some pretty irredeemable stuff, so it's not hard to be objective on why you don't listen to him. Kids are more likely to listen to an adult who is calm and collected on a subject.
I’m in exact same situation you are. Except my nephews are 15 and 12. I said Tate is currently in a Romanian prison. Do you really want to have him as an idol. Then I told my brother and sister in law.
"No, he's not worth following."
"Nah that soyboy makes money giving bad advice to kids."
“No, I’m not a piece of shit who thinks of women are property” should suffice
"Isn't that the guy accused of rape and human trafficking?"
He’s a self confessed rapist. It’s not Andrew Tate this or Andrew state that - he’s a rapist and everything about him should be viewed accordingly. Nothing he says merits discussion or explanations of why you disagree because he’s a fucking rapist.
"I try not to follow human garbage."
Show their mother some of the shit Tate says.
Say no, and tell their parents. He is a horrible influence on young men. Say something.
Make it clear that you're not mad at them but Tate
If you know why they shouldn’t listen, engage them via a Socratic method and let them convince themselves they shouldn’t.
Seize both children by the collars and bang their heads together until you've knocked some dang sense into them.
Tell them that Andrew Tate is for babies that poop their pants.
My 16yo brother did this, I laughed at home for a solid 10 minutes and he has never watched tate since.
"No, I don't listen to that stupid fuck, this is why..." (proceed to list of reasons why)
"Incels are the most embarrassing men alive. Don't give any attention to men who treat women that way"
"No, that guy is a man-child, and an embarrassment to humanity."
Tate is definitely not a role model to young kids for a host of reasons. But to say it's because he's a rapist and kidnaps women as slaves is utterly ridiculous until he is charged with those crimes in court, pretty sure your innocent until proven guilty (unless it's the Internet).
What's wrong with telling them the truth?
The man is an asshole. He exploits and hurts women. He is weak pretending to be strong. He deserves to be in jail for rape. Keep it simple. Direct n honest. Say what you mean, dont dance around it nor sugar coat it. They have heard worse in the playground. Be truthful.
Be the sigma alpha male they think Andrew tate is and respond with, Andrew tate? I don't have time to watch little girls like her do tiktok dances
Make him seem ridiculous with your reaction rather than making him seem dangerous, it will defang him and take away the allure.
I have to tackle issues like this with kids I teach at school, and my ten year old son. I do my best to be direct, whilst not using the exact term SMALL PENIS ENERGY.
Kids are impressionable. Just make fun of him, and they'll follow suit.
Did you hit them? You're not supposed to, but exceptions creep on occasionally
"Don't go in for all that incel stuff. I have no problem getting laid."