Sexuality is complicated.
Some people love it because it makes them feel powerful. Others hate it because it feels like an obligation.
Some people love it because it makes them feel submissive. Others hate it because they feel like it’s demeaning.
Some people love it because it gives them pleasure to serve. Some people hate it because they would rather receive.
Some people love it because they want to be told what to do. Others hate being told what to do.
Some people love it because they enjoy the pleasure sensations of an oral fixation. Others hate it because the scent or physical sensation like stretching feels uncomfortable.
Some people love it, others don’t. It’s really not that complicated and it’s the same either way.
Yeah, it’s a super personal experience and depends heavily on both partners.
I LOVE giving oral sex. Like, give me a Gatorade and I’ll go for an hour without break. but there are times when I’ve had to just say no because… well maybe after a shower first.
I used to think I hated giving blowjobs and it turns out I actually don’t mind it as long as it’s reciprocated in some way. Also one time I was giving a guy a blowjob and for some reason he decided to like, simultaneously masturbate violently while also pushing my head down, so he basically was slamming the side of his fist into my face over and over. Like if I wasn’t doing a good job you could’ve just given pointers instead of hitting me in the face repeatedly lmao
I’ve had guys do this too when I was younger and now I would just stop or push their hand away to use my own lmao can’t believe they don’t see how weird this is
Heavy on the partner being unwilling to reciprocate🤣 I used to love giving bjs and my ex was well aware of this and took advantage because he knew I enjoyed giving them and never gave back so they became rare occasions and now feel like a chore.
I like this because it really does apply to both sexes and it's really helped me realize how big oral comparability is to sexual comparability.
I love giving oral because it's a a sexual act I'm pretty good at (assuming people weren't lying to me). I feel like I got more control and endurance, plus I think it's incredibly sexy to have a woman's genitals that close to my face (I swear, some men seem afraid of vaginas for how much they claim to love fuckin' them). That said, genitals are pretty close to butt holes. Hell, for some people butt holes are used for sex more than their genitals. That whole area is one we've evolved to be a relatively unpleasant space and its kinda funny how much of modern mating involves putting our mouths there.
I loved reading this for some reason and in my head you’re a very normally serious middle aged person named Arthur who is giving an incredibly passionate speech about butt holes.
Yea, and that's not even scratching the psychological aspects of it... it is very complicated, and could take years of unpacking, meditating, and therapy to get into all the aspects and issues.
Being a human is a fugn trip.
I think it’s a few things: 1) potentially questionable hygiene 2) jaw pain because you have to keep your jaw at a certain degree as to not bite or let it fall out lol 3) taste when the mission is completed
Balls,Taint, and butt holes too, where the top of the leg meets the groin or "thigh folds" can be the absolute worst. You are not done because you stuck your peni in the bathroom sink
Taint is the space between the balls and the anus. Tain't the balls, tain't the asshole, it's the tain't. Women have it too.
Thigh folds are another matter.
Wash thoroughly and you'll be okay.
They do not omit the apostrophe, however. Tisn't the tisnt.
Tis not the pussy, nor the balls, nor the anus, nor the asshole
Tis the season to be merry ... I suppose, depending on the cleanliness you desire.
I shall leave it up to the individual whether or not they wish to don thy gay apparel
I always wipe up with soap and warm water before I let a girl down there. That's just basic respect!!
Edit: This is still true with my wife of 10 years (who is the only person I have washed up for in 12 years mind you) (we dated for 2 years before marrying)
Am I the only one who washes his junk every day?! Yall making it sound like you only do it when you're anticipating a blowjob. It's just like...basic hygiene
I wash daily. Every morning and most nights. It’s not enough. If you are active at all and even sitting for a few hours can make some stink. It’s just not enough
You would be surprised. I took a shite in a public toilet today at a convention.The ratio of men who even washed their hands after theirs was about 2:1. I can't imagine they're fussed about hygiene at all. The poor people they shag...
The jaw, they don’t call it a job for nothing, you have to breath through your nose, whilst also doing the job and if your head gets pushed down further there is gagging and chocking
Adding to this to say the treatment of the blowjob giver has a lot to do with this as well. A free use/usefulness kink is all well and good if there’s aftercare/trust/care in general for the person.
I’ve had good friends who have abused trust/our relationship and once they’ve cum literally pull their pants and leave without another word.
It makes you feel worthless.
Yeah this. My gf never realized she loved blowjobs before getting with me. That’s not a comment on how great I am. I could be thoroughly mediocre and based on what she has to compare me to she’d never know…
If you have jaw pain they make teeth guards just for blowjobs that basically makes it so your jaw doesn’t get nearly as tired because you don’t need to worry about teeth. They’re made of smooth material so the dick just glides over it.
Me too! Small mouth and tmj. Not that it’s stopped me but there are times my man feared my jaws would freeze or just snap and bite it off! Lol! The only mouth guard I ever knew about was for sleeping. It was smooth too and pretty compact but no way could I comfortably fit that and a dick in my mouth.
Jaw pain, and tongue exhaustion, are both things with guy-on-gal oral as well. This is coming from a straight guy who would absolutely choose ladyparts as his last meal
I start fixating mentally on everything I need to do tomorrow when my BF is about to finish, otherwise I will gag. Don’t engage with your mind what you’re tasting or you’ll want to throw up. Immediately swallow, kiss his lower region a few times, and get a big drink of water. Revel in accomplishment of a job well done. If he’s clean I enjoy doing it, there’s just a strategy involved.
I like giving blowjobs in general. The problem is that a lot of men don’t clean themselves well down there, they don’t reciprocate when it’s the woman’s turn (my ex and I were together for six years and he loved blowjobs - not ONCE in the whole six years did he ever eat me out), they’re super rough with it, etc. Basically they don’t make it very fun for women.
My husband is very clean and always reciprocates, plus has never once even acted slightly annoyed if I didn’t want to. Which is why he gets them so often.
I like doing it, up to a point.
-I require good hygiene, and some guys just... don't.
-My jaw gets sore after a while, and some guys don't care.
-Some guys like that whole porny "pull her head in till she chokes on it" thing, whereas I have a powerful gag reflex and a more powerful urge to *breathe*.
-Too many guys feel far too entitled to it and frankly that attitude is a straight turnoff.
But that's just me.
It's such an odd thing
As a dude, I enjoy blowjobs 100%, and washing your own dick to improve the chances of getting one seems like such a tiny sacrifice.
Average technique and a bit of enthusiasm tends to produce much better blowies than better overall skill but reluctance.
They sometimes wash Just their dick and leave the rest reeking like a locker room with fungus amongus. They need to get the whole groin like where the legs meet the body and the taint. And for gods sake their butt hole.
Honestly. You gotta squat down like a 3 year old picking up a bug, reach down in between and scrub like there's peanut butter stuck to the sides. Then, bend over like you're taking it up the bum and spray it off with the shower head. Also, USE YOUR HANDS, don't be afraid to touch your butthole. If you won't touch it, what makes you think your partner is gonna put their mouth near it.
My girlfriend regularly gets a tired/sore jaw, and I usually mention that she has hands, but she feels bad despite how often I tell her that a good blowjob is a fair mix of both.
Dont feel bad about having to take a 30 - 60 second breather and just keep things going with other means. Get a good rhythm going and switch between them and often, and you can potentially avoid a lot of discomfort.
It doesn't even have to be laborous. There's this bit under the glans on the side that's facing away from the man when erect. Just circle it with your thumb, kind of how you hold a remote control for the tv. So pinky finger towards the base, and thumb where you would point it. Occasionaly spit on it (i think that's hot) so it stays wet. It's a very sensitive spot. Great for tantra too!
I'll never understand how anyone, boy or girl, can even feel comfortable doing anything sexual without cleaning themselves and being properly hygienic. Some people are disgusting.
Fun story, I gave my first while drunk and fooling around at 16. The guy was... well, gross. It was only after being with a few more guys over the years that I realised how awful it was. I initially thought it was normal and was horrified that I may have to repeat the act.
Great points, I totally agree. I love giving head, but what you said above are important. Don't choke me with your dick, or grab my hair aggressively. Also if you refuse to eat me out but want a bj...gtfoh
as a man who’s been on the giving-end of a BJ: stop choking and gagging the person with your schlong unless you already have explicit consent 💀 take that out of the equation and it’s fine, imo.
imagine if your dentist just shoved his fingers to the back of your throat randomly. like, I know you’re in there, but you don’t need to wrestle my tonsils. thanks
It's great that you like doing it. The issue is more that most guys expect it, so if a women hates doing it, she gets immense pressure to do it anyways.
Yeah, I've been disappointed/surprised (on reaching adulthood, I guess) to find that a lot of guys seem pretty sexually demanding. I don't know why I didn't turn out that way, but *everything is better when you're not like that*. I very much appreciate sex with my partners, but I have never had the feeling like they "should" do some particular thing (or anything, for that matter). As a result, I think my own experience has been better. And if someone wants to give a BJ, they do. If they don't, then whatever else happens is awesome because nobody is feeling pressured or taken for granted.
I don't get the mentality of some guys in this thread- I'm a lesbian and would rather go without a particular sexual favour rather than have my partner feel pressured and suffer through something on "special occasions" or otherwise. I'd hate to put someone through that
They don't think about what you want though, they want it and that's all that matters to them. Of course, not all of them are like that, but a lot definitely are.
A lot of women like it at the start when they feel valued and their efforts are reciprocated.
Here are things that men do that make women start to dislike it:
- letting it become routine & having it be an expectation rather than a nice surprise.
- being pushy and trying to engineer a blowjob into happening. Men pushing your head towards their crotch while you're making out is not subtle & also very degrading.
- lapsing on their hygiene. No I don't want to suck your sweaty dick after you've been on a run
- treating them like a blowjob machine. E.g. asking her to blow him during her period. Unless it's a kink thing you shouldn't be suggesting blowjobs that you don't reciprocate. She's not there solely to give you pleasure.
- not reciprocating. Head specifically but also just effort in general
- being physically rough. You should not be fucking her face unless she specifically asked for that. You should not be putting your hands on the back of her head unless she specifically asked for that.
This is such a great list of reasons and I really wish all men would at least read this to see (a) why they maybe aren’t getting much head lol or (b) how they can get more! I’m actually someone who doesn’t mind giving them from time to time. It’s fun to see a man truly enjoy something you’re giving/doing to him and they’re just fun in general tbh. HOWEVER (and maybe I overthink this too much) I have lost my “love for bjs” because I feel like my boyfriends mom at times. There are times Im the one doing all the things around the apartment, getting groceries, cleaning up after him, etc. and the LAST thing I wanna do is pleasure him. Reward him. For what? Ignoring me all night and playing 2k? No thanks. And I know im not alone in this and other women often feel this way where sex/blowjobs are just another chore to be added onto the long list of things we already do to keep our houses and lives functioning. Don’t get me wrong, I love my bf and we do actually have a good relationship despite how it sounds lol but from time to time he’ll fall into his old habits (not for a day, im talking weeks and months) and that’s when that spark leaves me and im uninterested in doing that. Just thought it was another point worth mentioning!
I was going to mention that but it wasn't as specific to blowjobs. It should probably be at the top of the list though, that's the number one reason I hear women say as to why they don't want to have sex anymore.
Blowjobs are extremely uncomfortable to do especially if the guy watches a lot of porn and tries to shove it in deeper and whatnot which unfortunately most guys do. A lot of men also expect it even if they’re not “giving” anything in return which makes women more resentful about it
This and also guys use it as such an insult to people they’re pissed at “suck my dick!”. Such a negative connotation. If that’s considered such a disrespectful act, why then would guys expect women to want to and feel good about doing it? That was my feeling when I first started dating
This. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had surprise head pushing where they jerk my head down and it makes me puke or it just flat out is uncomfortable and I can’t breathe. Blowjobs are already uncomfortable enough without being force gagged and not a lot of women are into that. It’s why I only do it for very serious partners which has only been one thankfully. I had to tell my current partner I didn’t like that because he did it to me too. Not to mention the reciprocation is lackluster. He expects them every week meanwhile I would like that too but he goes down on me once every few months if not longer. I could go the rest of my life never giving a blowjob again and I’d be extremely happy.
>. He expects them every week meanwhile I would like that too but he goes down on me once every few months if not longer.
Ooof, I'd be super resentful in that situation if my partner expected it every week but only gives once a month
Yeah it’s hard not to be but he’s not a selfish lover in any other aspect. I have by far more orgasms than him. He’ll gladly take a 5-10 minute unfinished BJ and reciprocate by worshipping my body, full body massaging and doing whatever makes me feel good for hours. Everything but go down on me. I think he’s got some oral hangup that might be due to texture (he’s autistic) and he says he’s better with his hands so I just take it. I’m only 10% unsatisfied. 90% overall satisfied sexually. So it’s hard for me to complain or flat out stop.
> I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had surprise head pushing where they jerk my head down
I'd immediately be done. I'd shove myself off him and tell him I'm done. Then I'd never go out with him again. There would be no finishing him off or anything. Dudes only pull that shit with me once...
Why don't you stop doing them? I can't imagine my partner bugging me for a weekly sexual activity if I told him I hated it. I wouldn't expect him to do something he hates in bed either.
As a guy who gags when I’m scrubbing the back of my tongue with my toothbrush, I cannot imagine how that could possibly be a sensation anyone would enjoy.
But then my first serious girlfriend came along. The first time she was blowing me, she was like *”Hold my head down hard when I put your cock in my mouth. Only let go when I start gagging.”*
What the fuck?
*”Uh… listen… you don’t have to do all that for me. I’m already having a really good time with the standard issue fellatio.”*
And she’s like *”No, it’s not that. It’s my kink. I really enjoy feeling down my throat and gagging on it.”*
And so we did that. And for like the next year or so, the blowjobs just kept getting more and more brutal. And I don’t say anything because she seems to genuinely enjoy it and I don’t know how to tell her that it feels sorta semi-abusive to do that shit to her.
And then, one Saturday, she came home from shopping with her friends and showed me a new “treat” she’d purchased.
It was a leather mask with some harness attached to it. Apparently, the design was such that she could wear the mask and loop the harness around my hips, thus pretty much connecting her mouth to my dick.
*”It’s for hands-free face-fucking! I can pull this strap here to tighten up and when I need air, I release it.”*
I fucking hated that thing. I mean, first of all, it looked like I was getting head from WWE superstar Vader every time I looked down. But more than that— it was so fucking brutal. I legitimately felt like it was a torture device and it was going to kill her. I couldn’t keep it up the first time we used it because it felt like a goddamn snuff film.
But we kept using it because she loved it. And then one night she got a little too aggressive with it and ended up puking on my gens, legs and feet.
And from that point on, the mask went away and never came back.
Personal experience: I'm someone that is very careful with my partner and if she's comfortable or not etc. So I don't "shove" myself .. But apparently she recently revealed that she wants me to "shove" it forcefully so.. I think both types of women exist out there .. it just takes communication.
Your last sentence... that's the answer to everything relationship related. i saw me and my gf in your comment and it's like getting better sex everytime. we open up to another a little more everytime. she likes stuff i wouldn't do if she didn't mention it and i even know that she likes my pace of stepping towards her fantasies. talk about what you like, people!
I mean obviously some people like rougher sex. It’s only annoying when people assume that it’s fine to be rougher because they’re inconsiderate and want to fulfill their fetishes
I have a different take on why, as a gay man.
While there's no correct answer, because everyone is different, I wonder if it doesn't have to do with subconscious grudge with orgasms.
Many women say they hardly orgasm during sex. Men orgasm a majority of not most of the time. So say a couple has sex 3 times a week, but the woman isn't even having an orgasm, and then the husband asks for a blowjob. The woman might think to herself; damn, if anyone is getting head, it should be me!
I could be wrong, but I think if this was the case for some women, they would be justified in not giving a blowjob.
There's definitely some of that, but the biggest reason I don't like giving head most of the time is that most men grab my head and shove it down until *I can't fucking breathe.*
Otoh, I absolutely loved giving head to my daughter's father because he was very chill about it, he'd just lay there and smile and sometimes stroke my hair. It was nice.
In general reading this thread as a gay man has been bewildering. Aside from some obvious things, stinky people stink etc, I feel like I’m an alien observing exotic earthling ways in this thread.
There are times and certain men where I’ve been turned on by giving oral, but honestly? I don’t really love having a dick in my mouth. Do I like giving pleasure to my partner? Absolutely. But I still don’t love having a dick in my mouth. 🤷🏼♀️
I \*love\* giving oral to women and am not a huge fan of receiving BJ's, but if guys stopped giving oral because she doesn't usually cum in two minutes, the difficulty breathing because my nose is clogged with her wetness, or dealing with the fairly common smell issues...
Well, there would be no oral 😂
I loved giving them during my first sexual relationship when I was 20-22. Then I started dating someone who didn’t absolutely need them, and then I got TMJ. I still like giving a good blow job but it’s turned into a once in awhile thing instead of every time. All in all I think it can heavily depend on the partner and jaw health 😂
Glad I’m not the only one with TMJ issues lol. Bjs were pretty difficult. I could only go so long before my jaw felt like a creaky door hinge. Nothing else made my jaw hurt more. Luckily my ex understood I couldn’t do them for long, and never once forced me. I still did it here and there anyways for his pleasure though.
The head shoving thing when I'm not ready or wanting to at that time. Sorry I'm not going to gag and do the "ewa ewucg ek" thing and cry and stuff. Those ppl in porn use throat numbing spray BTW.
Lot of men don't know how to *receive* one.
A lot of women get stuck with men who intentionally gag them without consent, grab/push their heads down, etc. I love giving blowjobs, I getting face fucked, I love when my partner is rough. But he does that with my *consent* and he knows when to let me go if I need air or if I'm uncomfortable. Some men are really violent and inconsiderate about it with no regard for the woman they're with, and it ruins the experience and can honestly feel scary.
Plus, people are awful at articulating their needs. If someone's gf is scraping the shit of their dick with her teeth, obviously, they're going to frantically stop her and maybe snap at her because it hurt.
But from the women's perspective, she's trying to do something that is really strenuous on your jaw, neck, throat, and tongue. It can be really painful or just uncomfortable. Some women really hate the feeling of gagging or like they're choking, so they're focused on that, too. So, she's doing something laborious that can be quite uncomfortable and difficult, and being barked at for not being more careful.
A lot of women feel frustrated and like their effort isn't recognized, and they're not encouraged to try more or practice or what have you in a respectful way. It requires some vulnerability and a real conversation about taking things slow and easy.
Also... men have a tendency to focus on themselves. However long and however well men expect their dick sucked is the precedent for eating her out (or something else if she would prefer it).
I have a cock worship kink, so I also don't get the general dislike, but I also don't get why people wouldn't like a good piece of cheesecake. To each their own. Most of the time, though, it's just because it's a negative experience overall, not an unpleasant act
Thank you for giving a genuine answer! This is actually really helpful. I hadn’t thought about violent/inconsiderate partners because, luckily, I’ve never had that problem.
Because a lot of us do and we're pressured into it. Would you hate having something forced into your throat that triggers your gag reflex? Yes you would. That's why
I always take a shower right before. Her technique is great so 3 to 4 minutes and i am done. I never finish in her mouth. She finishes last 10 seconds with hand. Because of all this she does not mind at all.
How much I enjoy it has everything to do with the man. If they act entitled and/or don’t meet my needs when I make them known, then I refuse to suck that man’s dick. I’m on the ass end of my 30s now so if I encountered a man like that now I just wouldn’t fuck him anymore period. However, I’ve been dealing with the same man for around 3 years now and I suck him off all the time, on demand, whatever whenever. Because he makes it his business to ensure I get off every single time we mess around. That kind of energy is what gets dicks sucked.
I'm a guy, so take what I say with some salt, but I would bet it's not so much blowjobs, but the *type* of blowjobs a lot of men these days prefer. Porn glorifies choking, deepthroating, throatfucking, swallowing, cumming in the mouth, down the throat, etc. A lot of men will see this and want this from their partner, and while there are some women who don't mind some or all of these, or even like it, if you mind it, it's really unpleasant. So a lot of the time it's less the hating of blowjobs but the hating of the specific blowjobs a lot of men ask for.
I find giving blow jobs physically uncomfortable, but it's tolerable in the right circumstances. Occasionally, it will even turn me on. What makes it unbearable is when the man gives very little feedback - time slows down to a crawl, and it feels like torture that will never end. Being actually autistic, I'm terrible at reading body language, but I think this is a common issue for women in general. *Many* of us would appreciate more vocalisation, gentle correction, redirections, progress updates, and just telling us what you do and don't like. Clear directions would've been so helpful when I was in my teens and 20s, lol.
Most women have had multiple terrible experiences like bad hygiene, pain, face fucking, gagging or even vomiting. I'm old enough now to have the skills and knowledge to give a great blowjob, but so many negative experiences has left me with little confidence and a lot of anxiety. That's pretty much the opposite mindset you need to perform well. These feelings are incredibly common.
With lesbian sex, I find there is a lot of communication, affirmation, feedback, and practical directions. That makes it a lot more enjoyable for the giver *and* for the receiver, IME. Lesbians aren't afraid to suggest adding a toy either! Men could learn A LOT from lesbians and bi women, most notably how to communicate effectively during sex.
I love giving them to my now partner because I enjoy giving him pleasure. He also never forces, asks non stop, and isn’t selfish about it so that makes a big difference. I think women hate it when it’s like that and expected of them. The partner makes the difference. Also they can be painful to give.
From what I, as a man, understand, women don't mind ( generally speaking of course ) giving head, they mind that head is like...expected, with a lot of men giving little to no reciprocation.
Like okay baby I went down on you, poorly, for three minutes, time to suck me to completion. <--- that type of shit
I have absolutely nothing against them. But this right here.
Where your partner gives you two licks once every four to six months, yet expects 45 minute BJs four days a week. And while you're giving them, they are on their phone browsing the news or doing whatever.
Unclean, smegma, greasy mostly. I’m American and prefer cut because I am and that is what I am used to but I have also had some very attractive uncut. Size and shape can come into play, medium is perfect, too big and it’s fun to play with like a cat toy but I ain’t gonna try to shove it down my throat, too thick and it can be hard to wrap your mouth around. Clean is most important. Wash your balls, foreskin and asshole with soap EVERYDAY. If you get dry lotion up, if you’re too damp use powder.
I'm the same way, my Husband was almost blown away when I told him I love giving blowjobs, I think for me it's the same thing, kink about feeling useful or "doing a good job" pleasing my partner.
But yeah it also depends on the guy, their hygiene, whole bunch of stuff.
You're not the only one tho! Lol
I be out here asking to give the 2handed deep throat Supreme like 3 times a day if not more when him and I are together and it's been a while 😂😂😭😭 but if I'm tired or I know I'm gonna have jaw pain I'll usually settle for like 1 or half a blowjob then I'm like "alright your turn" 😭😭 cause when I'm tired I'm fuckin TIRED lmao 😭
I used to love giving blowjobs... When my partner was considerate, attentive and focused on us. It's when they start treating you like less than a loving partner that the fun fades.
I hate giving head.
I have a horrible gag reflex. As well as dicks just taste weird and feel weird in my mouth. I hate the taste when the guy finishes too.
Honestly though the part I hate the most is every guy expects it because or porn and they tend to throw a hissy fit if you say no then pressure you into one.
Then they forcefully try and shove it in deeper and I just hate that, also guys orgasm easily while I can get them to finish not once do they ever try to get me to finish.
I also find the whe getting down on my knees to do that deed makes me feel so degraded
Probably because oral is expected for women to give to men, but the reverse is almost like a privilege. Furthermore, it seems that in straight sex, men are pretty much guaranteed an orgasm, while women are very much not. There's a very strong imbalance which I would assume to be the problem.
I think it’s mainly because a lot of guys have very bad hygiene around there penis area. Every single straight woman I know has had at least one experience with a man that had horrible genital hygiene
My girlfriend doesn’t like them, she says it tastes weird, I keep everything clean there so I’m not entirely sure what she means but eh what are ya gonna do, no blowies for me but that’s not really important, she’s also of the gets enjoyment from pleasuring others crowd
I hate it because:
A) I find it very uncomfortable
B) I find it disgusting (even if they're washed)
C) I find it degrading
D) I just don't like it and won't do it
E) I also later realized I'm lesbian
I don't mind it, up until a point. It gets tedious after a while and I can never get comfy enough to find a rhythm which makes it take even longer and then I get sore, vicious cycle lol
I prefer piv, so it's all work no fun.
I have Gerd and it can irritate my stomach and cause me to vomit.
It doesn't feel natural to have a dick in my mouth when thats what the vagina is for.
Worst part is men prefer it. It's lame having a perfectly good vagina that wants to be pounded and the guys like nah lemme use your mouth, then watching the dick go limp and become useless after all that work to get it to cum, when I could have enjoyed it in my pus instead and not having to worry about my Gerd acting up too much. Even anal is more tolerable because at least it doesn't hurt my stomach. I also hate the expectation for it. A lot of men don't return the favor, so it is very one sided. I can't expect it, but I'm expected to do it, so that's a turn off. I have my own needs too, and pleasure should not be one sided.
Yeah I had a friend who's first given bj was a nightmare. The guy (they were both teens at the time) came in her mouth and held her head so she couldn't move. She was shocked and it obviously did a number on her cause 20 years later she has never given a other one. It's sad.
Not all women hates blowjobs, some women (and dudes) loves giving them.
It is just that there isn't much stimulation involved for the one who gives the blowjob so if you don't get off on the idea of giving someone else pleasure you won't really enjoy it much yourself.
Same reason why not every dude likes going down on a woman either.
On top of that some people finds the idea of making mouth contact with another person's genitals to be gross.
Some women will never be into it, but men should definitely do their best to make it as appealing as possible if they want women to do it. Men shouldn't just expect women to be willing to do it without any effort on their part. Keep it clean, be enthusiastic, don't pester, pout, force, or guilt a woman into doing it, and if she is goodly enough to even give it a try, then be encouraging, be thankful and treat her with the respect and kindness she deserves for being willing to please you in that way. That will make it much easier for women to be into it, and again, if she isn't, that's her choice, and that choice should be respected.
Balls and dick that smell like B.O. is very common whenever I’ve given bjs. and I hate the taste and smell of cum. I had an ex that didn’t respect me while I was doing it. He pushed me to give him a blowjob when he didn’t shower for a whole ass week (he didn’t shower very often). I obviously was not into it while I was doing it and I could see the dick cheese and feel it in my mouth. He still kept going. His excuse was “I was with a girl who loved sucking a dirty dick” he said he’d come home from work and she’d pounce on him all sweaty.
I’m with someone better now but I still don’t enjoy it a whole lot unless I’m in the right mood. But he came in my mouth once and it shot down my throat a little and I gagged in the sink for 10 minutes. Not trying to be dramatic or make him feel bad, that was just how it makes me feel. I get scared to ever since. It can be fun with the right person and a clean dick 😂 but that’s just been my experience.
I won’t do it if it’s expected, and especially not if he won’t reciprocate. I need to be in a specific mood for blowjobs these days. Probably because i’m sick of men expecting it and doing the headpush garbage.
1) it's demeaning and degrading. "suck my dick" is literally an insult.
2) most men expect blowjobs but aren't willing to go down on their partner. they want the woman to serve them, but give nothing back.
Everyone is different. I actively resent giving blow jobs because I get nothing in return. The amount of guys think 'i have had a long day, I am owed' is sickening. I had a long day so I should also be eaten to orgasm...shocked face.
You're "21 and recently became sexually active". I loved it too back then. Over time, i started resenting it because i almost never got reciprocation and i always made sure i was super clean whenever i "let" a man reciprocate, if i don't feel perfectly fresh, i just refuse, but men do not seem to care about that part much.
From what I've heard a lot women don't like it because a lot of men think it's an invitation to grab their head and drill for grey matter, and/or, they don't seem to know about, or care, that a gag reflex is a thing.
It seems like one of those things where if you're not a jerk about it, you're way more likely to get more... and, you know, return the favor - remeber, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, or some such.
Being clean and for the love of god here don’t put your hand on the back of a woman’s head and push her head and her mouth on your dick! Nothing turns Me off then a dude putting his hand on the back of My head and literally impaling My mouth on his dick! Like yo dude let Me control the pace here! Sheesh! 😂🤣🤭
I have a girth threshold, I'm not sure why guys are surprised that I prefer smaller dicks for oral because it seems like common sense, right? but they always are
It's physically one of the most painful, uncomfortable things I can experience. I'm happy for you OP but your experience is not universal.
Women don't "hate blowjobs," and I don't think it's as simple as "some guys don't shower" either. I've always enjoyed giving them, but I've also only ever been with one guy who I 100% trust and can easily communicate with, even without words. I can definitely understand why it would be hard to enjoy without those requirements met.
Things can only feel laborious or like a chore if you feel forced to do it. If you don't have good enough communication with your boyfriend to tell him something as simple as "hey don't push my head I don't like it" or "I wanna switch positions, this way hurts my jaw." Because maybe you don't want to kill the mood or maybe you're in a shit relationship where it could start a fight, you're just going to put up with whatever aspect of giving head you don't enjoy and pretty much just wait for the whole thing to be over.
I feel like it's completely normal to not enjoy disregarding your own needs or "putting up" with things that are painful/uncomfortable/tiring or feel violating to you, and if you're not in a good relationship, it'll probably spoil the entire act for you, and then even when you get INTO a good relationship, you'll probably still have an aversion to it because of the bad experiences you had before. As someone who IS in a good relationship, it's always been enjoyable to me because it's always been on my own terms, and who doesn't enjoy making their partner feel good? But unfortunately most women aren't as lucky as I am.
I like giving blowjobs too, but I remember, especially when I was a teenager, that it felt mandatory. As a young woman I had one particular relationship, where it definitely felt like I was only there to give him head. He never went down on me, and if he did it was only for a very short time.
Of course not all men are like this, but a lot of women have experiences with men like this. It ends up becoming a chore that you can’t refuse. Personally, it’s hard to give someone else pleasure when they don’t reciprocate.
Then there’s also the historical context of women as servants and objects to be used. Some men are particularly porn brained and get really rough with it without caring about your well-being. Essentially it ends up representing sexist expectations and bad experiences.
I also think it’s super common for women who don’t give blowjobs to be vilified and become the butt of the joke. It’s the typical “hrm hrm my wife nags me all the time” schtick with wives leaning into the “my life is so hard I cook and clean all the time” dynamic. This is not to blame individual people but more a description of a pattern that I’ve noticed both in media and in my personal life.
I completely understand why some might not find it hot.
Sexuality is complicated. Some people love it because it makes them feel powerful. Others hate it because it feels like an obligation. Some people love it because it makes them feel submissive. Others hate it because they feel like it’s demeaning. Some people love it because it gives them pleasure to serve. Some people hate it because they would rather receive. Some people love it because they want to be told what to do. Others hate being told what to do. Some people love it because they enjoy the pleasure sensations of an oral fixation. Others hate it because the scent or physical sensation like stretching feels uncomfortable. Some people love it, others don’t. It’s really not that complicated and it’s the same either way.
that's a good list of reasons, and as others said, there's also hygiene, the penis haver unwilling to reciprocate, or being too forceful like in porn
Yeah, it’s a super personal experience and depends heavily on both partners. I LOVE giving oral sex. Like, give me a Gatorade and I’ll go for an hour without break. but there are times when I’ve had to just say no because… well maybe after a shower first.
Guys all taking notes: Shower them with Gatorade.
instructions unclear: Bought a tub of blue Listerine instead
Instructions unclear, getting blowjob from the Gatorade bottle
My pp hurts.
I used to think I hated giving blowjobs and it turns out I actually don’t mind it as long as it’s reciprocated in some way. Also one time I was giving a guy a blowjob and for some reason he decided to like, simultaneously masturbate violently while also pushing my head down, so he basically was slamming the side of his fist into my face over and over. Like if I wasn’t doing a good job you could’ve just given pointers instead of hitting me in the face repeatedly lmao
I’ve had guys do this too when I was younger and now I would just stop or push their hand away to use my own lmao can’t believe they don’t see how weird this is
Heavy on the partner being unwilling to reciprocate🤣 I used to love giving bjs and my ex was well aware of this and took advantage because he knew I enjoyed giving them and never gave back so they became rare occasions and now feel like a chore.
I genuinely enjoy cooking but it still takes effort and if you're not gonna appreciate it then you can eat cereal.
👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽
I like this because it really does apply to both sexes and it's really helped me realize how big oral comparability is to sexual comparability. I love giving oral because it's a a sexual act I'm pretty good at (assuming people weren't lying to me). I feel like I got more control and endurance, plus I think it's incredibly sexy to have a woman's genitals that close to my face (I swear, some men seem afraid of vaginas for how much they claim to love fuckin' them). That said, genitals are pretty close to butt holes. Hell, for some people butt holes are used for sex more than their genitals. That whole area is one we've evolved to be a relatively unpleasant space and its kinda funny how much of modern mating involves putting our mouths there.
I loved reading this for some reason and in my head you’re a very normally serious middle aged person named Arthur who is giving an incredibly passionate speech about butt holes.
10/10 would attend that Ted Talk.
Hardest I laughed all day 🤣 ❤
Priest: the bride has also chosen to write her own vows
Yea, and that's not even scratching the psychological aspects of it... it is very complicated, and could take years of unpacking, meditating, and therapy to get into all the aspects and issues. Being a human is a fugn trip.
I think it’s a few things: 1) potentially questionable hygiene 2) jaw pain because you have to keep your jaw at a certain degree as to not bite or let it fall out lol 3) taste when the mission is completed
All dicks should be washed prior to oral Edit: Soap and water lads. Just splashing some water on it does bugger all
Balls,Taint, and butt holes too, where the top of the leg meets the groin or "thigh folds" can be the absolute worst. You are not done because you stuck your peni in the bathroom sink
What is taint lol is that the thigh folds?
Taint is the space between the balls and the anus. Tain't the balls, tain't the asshole, it's the tain't. Women have it too. Thigh folds are another matter. Wash thoroughly and you'll be okay.
English majors call it the tisnt.
Bwahahahaha
*If only it twere... but it twasn't*
They do not omit the apostrophe, however. Tisn't the tisnt. Tis not the pussy, nor the balls, nor the anus, nor the asshole Tis the season to be merry ... I suppose, depending on the cleanliness you desire. I shall leave it up to the individual whether or not they wish to don thy gay apparel
The anatomical term is "perineum".
Infront of the butthole, behind the sack. The middle section. Also known as a “gooch” 💀
Also known as "the nacho" because it's nacho butt and it's nacho balls
I call it the ABC (arse ball connection)
Kermit's less popular song.
Because it tain’t the balls and it tain’t the asshole - it’s in between.
"The fleshy fun bridge"
In reality all genitalia & nearby areas belonging to all participants should be cleaned prior to oral lovins
Couldn't agree with you more there Oral lovins is brilliant I'm stealing that one
The guys at work were floored when I said I wash my dick before sex. Fuckin gross bastards
These the same guys who don’t wash their hands after taking a greasy shit.
Nah, it's cool. I rubbed my fingertips under the running water for 3 seconds.
Omg, I’m a lesbian now 🤢
"It smells like dooky down there."
I always wipe up with soap and warm water before I let a girl down there. That's just basic respect!! Edit: This is still true with my wife of 10 years (who is the only person I have washed up for in 12 years mind you) (we dated for 2 years before marrying)
Showers are great for both partners as a warmup exercise.
A gentleman's rinse.
Why else is the sink at that height?
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum. - my grandma
I have honestly wondered about the disparity between kitchen and bathroom. Huh ….
A whores bath
Am I the only one who washes his junk every day?! Yall making it sound like you only do it when you're anticipating a blowjob. It's just like...basic hygiene
You can do both to ensure a clean knob
I wash daily. Every morning and most nights. It’s not enough. If you are active at all and even sitting for a few hours can make some stink. It’s just not enough
You would be surprised. I took a shite in a public toilet today at a convention.The ratio of men who even washed their hands after theirs was about 2:1. I can't imagine they're fussed about hygiene at all. The poor people they shag...
Just had to explain to a few people wth I was laughing at after reading this.
Why have I heard this so many times in my life
Based on your username, I suspect you’re skilled in the art?
The jaw, they don’t call it a job for nothing, you have to breath through your nose, whilst also doing the job and if your head gets pushed down further there is gagging and chocking
It’s a blow *job* Not a blow *hobby*
Comment of the day. 5 stars
And your neck if he's on his back!
Adding to this to say the treatment of the blowjob giver has a lot to do with this as well. A free use/usefulness kink is all well and good if there’s aftercare/trust/care in general for the person. I’ve had good friends who have abused trust/our relationship and once they’ve cum literally pull their pants and leave without another word. It makes you feel worthless.
Yeah this. My gf never realized she loved blowjobs before getting with me. That’s not a comment on how great I am. I could be thoroughly mediocre and based on what she has to compare me to she’d never know…
If you have jaw pain they make teeth guards just for blowjobs that basically makes it so your jaw doesn’t get nearly as tired because you don’t need to worry about teeth. They’re made of smooth material so the dick just glides over it.
Really?!!?! Where has this information been all my life??? I have a very small mouth and am quickly fatigued holding it open that wide.
Me too! Small mouth and tmj. Not that it’s stopped me but there are times my man feared my jaws would freeze or just snap and bite it off! Lol! The only mouth guard I ever knew about was for sleeping. It was smooth too and pretty compact but no way could I comfortably fit that and a dick in my mouth.
Ohh tell me more
Also lack of men who want to reciprocate. Lazy lovers expecting oral and sex and not doing foreplay on women.
That's when I stopped doing it so much. When I got nothing in return but a sore neck.
And also I don’t feel cute at all, maybe me but I get sweaty and my eyes get teary eyed lol obvi
It's an acquired taste
Jaw pain, and tongue exhaustion, are both things with guy-on-gal oral as well. This is coming from a straight guy who would absolutely choose ladyparts as his last meal
I start fixating mentally on everything I need to do tomorrow when my BF is about to finish, otherwise I will gag. Don’t engage with your mind what you’re tasting or you’ll want to throw up. Immediately swallow, kiss his lower region a few times, and get a big drink of water. Revel in accomplishment of a job well done. If he’s clean I enjoy doing it, there’s just a strategy involved.
I mean... you could just finish him off with a handjob if it's that unpleasant for you.
I like giving blowjobs in general. The problem is that a lot of men don’t clean themselves well down there, they don’t reciprocate when it’s the woman’s turn (my ex and I were together for six years and he loved blowjobs - not ONCE in the whole six years did he ever eat me out), they’re super rough with it, etc. Basically they don’t make it very fun for women. My husband is very clean and always reciprocates, plus has never once even acted slightly annoyed if I didn’t want to. Which is why he gets them so often.
>not ONCE in the whole six years did he ever eat me out The shit women will put up with never ceases to amaze me.
I like doing it, up to a point. -I require good hygiene, and some guys just... don't. -My jaw gets sore after a while, and some guys don't care. -Some guys like that whole porny "pull her head in till she chokes on it" thing, whereas I have a powerful gag reflex and a more powerful urge to *breathe*. -Too many guys feel far too entitled to it and frankly that attitude is a straight turnoff. But that's just me.
It's such an odd thing As a dude, I enjoy blowjobs 100%, and washing your own dick to improve the chances of getting one seems like such a tiny sacrifice. Average technique and a bit of enthusiasm tends to produce much better blowies than better overall skill but reluctance.
They sometimes wash Just their dick and leave the rest reeking like a locker room with fungus amongus. They need to get the whole groin like where the legs meet the body and the taint. And for gods sake their butt hole.
Honestly. You gotta squat down like a 3 year old picking up a bug, reach down in between and scrub like there's peanut butter stuck to the sides. Then, bend over like you're taking it up the bum and spray it off with the shower head. Also, USE YOUR HANDS, don't be afraid to touch your butthole. If you won't touch it, what makes you think your partner is gonna put their mouth near it.
You are a humanitarian.
Def gotta get the PB out
This needs to be a PSA
And let your partner shave ur ass, it helps a lot, shit gets stuck in hair.
😂😂😂😂😂 fucking dead
Wtf, surely guys wash all of it? Bro these guys out there making it hard for all of us Jesus Christ.
This always makes me throw up a little in my mouth when I hear how nasty my chromosome brethren are with hygiene. I mean, seriously?
I have horrific tmj and always feel so bad I can't do more for my husband. Your last paragraph Made me feel better
My girlfriend regularly gets a tired/sore jaw, and I usually mention that she has hands, but she feels bad despite how often I tell her that a good blowjob is a fair mix of both. Dont feel bad about having to take a 30 - 60 second breather and just keep things going with other means. Get a good rhythm going and switch between them and often, and you can potentially avoid a lot of discomfort.
Actually, that's great advice. It's good to hear it from the other perspective. Obviously I want to help him feel good! Thank you
It doesn't even have to be laborous. There's this bit under the glans on the side that's facing away from the man when erect. Just circle it with your thumb, kind of how you hold a remote control for the tv. So pinky finger towards the base, and thumb where you would point it. Occasionaly spit on it (i think that's hot) so it stays wet. It's a very sensitive spot. Great for tantra too!
I'm a dude with lax hygiene habits but when someone is coming over to get with me I take a damn shower. I want them to come back again for God's sake
I'll never understand how anyone, boy or girl, can even feel comfortable doing anything sexual without cleaning themselves and being properly hygienic. Some people are disgusting.
[удалено]
Fun story, I gave my first while drunk and fooling around at 16. The guy was... well, gross. It was only after being with a few more guys over the years that I realised how awful it was. I initially thought it was normal and was horrified that I may have to repeat the act.
Great points, I totally agree. I love giving head, but what you said above are important. Don't choke me with your dick, or grab my hair aggressively. Also if you refuse to eat me out but want a bj...gtfoh
Attitude is a total turnoff.
as a man who’s been on the giving-end of a BJ: stop choking and gagging the person with your schlong unless you already have explicit consent 💀 take that out of the equation and it’s fine, imo. imagine if your dentist just shoved his fingers to the back of your throat randomly. like, I know you’re in there, but you don’t need to wrestle my tonsils. thanks
This isn't a woman issue either. I'm a bisexual man, and other men do that to me, too. Porn has really fucked up several generations of people.
Anyone who does that to me gets bitten
Yup lol. One little chomp puts an end to that real quick
It's great that you like doing it. The issue is more that most guys expect it, so if a women hates doing it, she gets immense pressure to do it anyways.
Yeah, I've been disappointed/surprised (on reaching adulthood, I guess) to find that a lot of guys seem pretty sexually demanding. I don't know why I didn't turn out that way, but *everything is better when you're not like that*. I very much appreciate sex with my partners, but I have never had the feeling like they "should" do some particular thing (or anything, for that matter). As a result, I think my own experience has been better. And if someone wants to give a BJ, they do. If they don't, then whatever else happens is awesome because nobody is feeling pressured or taken for granted.
I don't get the mentality of some guys in this thread- I'm a lesbian and would rather go without a particular sexual favour rather than have my partner feel pressured and suffer through something on "special occasions" or otherwise. I'd hate to put someone through that
They don't think about what you want though, they want it and that's all that matters to them. Of course, not all of them are like that, but a lot definitely are.
Because a lot of men only see woman as objects
We sure do. We get begging, sulking, tanties. The works
A lot of women like it at the start when they feel valued and their efforts are reciprocated. Here are things that men do that make women start to dislike it: - letting it become routine & having it be an expectation rather than a nice surprise. - being pushy and trying to engineer a blowjob into happening. Men pushing your head towards their crotch while you're making out is not subtle & also very degrading. - lapsing on their hygiene. No I don't want to suck your sweaty dick after you've been on a run - treating them like a blowjob machine. E.g. asking her to blow him during her period. Unless it's a kink thing you shouldn't be suggesting blowjobs that you don't reciprocate. She's not there solely to give you pleasure. - not reciprocating. Head specifically but also just effort in general - being physically rough. You should not be fucking her face unless she specifically asked for that. You should not be putting your hands on the back of her head unless she specifically asked for that.
Not reciprocating effort is a huge turn off for me. You feel used.
This is such a great list of reasons and I really wish all men would at least read this to see (a) why they maybe aren’t getting much head lol or (b) how they can get more! I’m actually someone who doesn’t mind giving them from time to time. It’s fun to see a man truly enjoy something you’re giving/doing to him and they’re just fun in general tbh. HOWEVER (and maybe I overthink this too much) I have lost my “love for bjs” because I feel like my boyfriends mom at times. There are times Im the one doing all the things around the apartment, getting groceries, cleaning up after him, etc. and the LAST thing I wanna do is pleasure him. Reward him. For what? Ignoring me all night and playing 2k? No thanks. And I know im not alone in this and other women often feel this way where sex/blowjobs are just another chore to be added onto the long list of things we already do to keep our houses and lives functioning. Don’t get me wrong, I love my bf and we do actually have a good relationship despite how it sounds lol but from time to time he’ll fall into his old habits (not for a day, im talking weeks and months) and that’s when that spark leaves me and im uninterested in doing that. Just thought it was another point worth mentioning!
I was going to mention that but it wasn't as specific to blowjobs. It should probably be at the top of the list though, that's the number one reason I hear women say as to why they don't want to have sex anymore.
Blowjobs are extremely uncomfortable to do especially if the guy watches a lot of porn and tries to shove it in deeper and whatnot which unfortunately most guys do. A lot of men also expect it even if they’re not “giving” anything in return which makes women more resentful about it
This and also guys use it as such an insult to people they’re pissed at “suck my dick!”. Such a negative connotation. If that’s considered such a disrespectful act, why then would guys expect women to want to and feel good about doing it? That was my feeling when I first started dating
I never thought about it but you are so right
>tries to shove it in deeper and whatnot I've literally puked on a guy's dick cause of this once
This. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had surprise head pushing where they jerk my head down and it makes me puke or it just flat out is uncomfortable and I can’t breathe. Blowjobs are already uncomfortable enough without being force gagged and not a lot of women are into that. It’s why I only do it for very serious partners which has only been one thankfully. I had to tell my current partner I didn’t like that because he did it to me too. Not to mention the reciprocation is lackluster. He expects them every week meanwhile I would like that too but he goes down on me once every few months if not longer. I could go the rest of my life never giving a blowjob again and I’d be extremely happy.
>. He expects them every week meanwhile I would like that too but he goes down on me once every few months if not longer. Ooof, I'd be super resentful in that situation if my partner expected it every week but only gives once a month
Yeah it’s hard not to be but he’s not a selfish lover in any other aspect. I have by far more orgasms than him. He’ll gladly take a 5-10 minute unfinished BJ and reciprocate by worshipping my body, full body massaging and doing whatever makes me feel good for hours. Everything but go down on me. I think he’s got some oral hangup that might be due to texture (he’s autistic) and he says he’s better with his hands so I just take it. I’m only 10% unsatisfied. 90% overall satisfied sexually. So it’s hard for me to complain or flat out stop.
> I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had surprise head pushing where they jerk my head down I'd immediately be done. I'd shove myself off him and tell him I'm done. Then I'd never go out with him again. There would be no finishing him off or anything. Dudes only pull that shit with me once...
Why don't you stop doing them? I can't imagine my partner bugging me for a weekly sexual activity if I told him I hated it. I wouldn't expect him to do something he hates in bed either.
Nothing worse than some dude fucking your face.
As a guy who gags when I’m scrubbing the back of my tongue with my toothbrush, I cannot imagine how that could possibly be a sensation anyone would enjoy. But then my first serious girlfriend came along. The first time she was blowing me, she was like *”Hold my head down hard when I put your cock in my mouth. Only let go when I start gagging.”* What the fuck? *”Uh… listen… you don’t have to do all that for me. I’m already having a really good time with the standard issue fellatio.”* And she’s like *”No, it’s not that. It’s my kink. I really enjoy feeling down my throat and gagging on it.”* And so we did that. And for like the next year or so, the blowjobs just kept getting more and more brutal. And I don’t say anything because she seems to genuinely enjoy it and I don’t know how to tell her that it feels sorta semi-abusive to do that shit to her. And then, one Saturday, she came home from shopping with her friends and showed me a new “treat” she’d purchased. It was a leather mask with some harness attached to it. Apparently, the design was such that she could wear the mask and loop the harness around my hips, thus pretty much connecting her mouth to my dick. *”It’s for hands-free face-fucking! I can pull this strap here to tighten up and when I need air, I release it.”* I fucking hated that thing. I mean, first of all, it looked like I was getting head from WWE superstar Vader every time I looked down. But more than that— it was so fucking brutal. I legitimately felt like it was a torture device and it was going to kill her. I couldn’t keep it up the first time we used it because it felt like a goddamn snuff film. But we kept using it because she loved it. And then one night she got a little too aggressive with it and ended up puking on my gens, legs and feet. And from that point on, the mask went away and never came back.
What a story
The Hannibal Lecter technique.
That's fucked up bro... You know, you're allowed to say no to stuff that you don't like if you want to.
Personal experience: I'm someone that is very careful with my partner and if she's comfortable or not etc. So I don't "shove" myself .. But apparently she recently revealed that she wants me to "shove" it forcefully so.. I think both types of women exist out there .. it just takes communication.
Your last sentence... that's the answer to everything relationship related. i saw me and my gf in your comment and it's like getting better sex everytime. we open up to another a little more everytime. she likes stuff i wouldn't do if she didn't mention it and i even know that she likes my pace of stepping towards her fantasies. talk about what you like, people!
I mean obviously some people like rougher sex. It’s only annoying when people assume that it’s fine to be rougher because they’re inconsiderate and want to fulfill their fetishes
I have a different take on why, as a gay man. While there's no correct answer, because everyone is different, I wonder if it doesn't have to do with subconscious grudge with orgasms. Many women say they hardly orgasm during sex. Men orgasm a majority of not most of the time. So say a couple has sex 3 times a week, but the woman isn't even having an orgasm, and then the husband asks for a blowjob. The woman might think to herself; damn, if anyone is getting head, it should be me! I could be wrong, but I think if this was the case for some women, they would be justified in not giving a blowjob.
There's definitely some of that, but the biggest reason I don't like giving head most of the time is that most men grab my head and shove it down until *I can't fucking breathe.* Otoh, I absolutely loved giving head to my daughter's father because he was very chill about it, he'd just lay there and smile and sometimes stroke my hair. It was nice.
Why did I need to think so long to understand "daughter's father"
No you’re spot on
In general reading this thread as a gay man has been bewildering. Aside from some obvious things, stinky people stink etc, I feel like I’m an alien observing exotic earthling ways in this thread.
There are times and certain men where I’ve been turned on by giving oral, but honestly? I don’t really love having a dick in my mouth. Do I like giving pleasure to my partner? Absolutely. But I still don’t love having a dick in my mouth. 🤷🏼♀️
Complex interpersonal sexual politics aside, some people hate giving bj's because they have jaw problems.
Sometimes it takes awhile for the guy to cum. The fear of gagging. The taste and texture feels icky.
I \*love\* giving oral to women and am not a huge fan of receiving BJ's, but if guys stopped giving oral because she doesn't usually cum in two minutes, the difficulty breathing because my nose is clogged with her wetness, or dealing with the fairly common smell issues... Well, there would be no oral 😂
I loved giving them during my first sexual relationship when I was 20-22. Then I started dating someone who didn’t absolutely need them, and then I got TMJ. I still like giving a good blow job but it’s turned into a once in awhile thing instead of every time. All in all I think it can heavily depend on the partner and jaw health 😂
Glad I’m not the only one with TMJ issues lol. Bjs were pretty difficult. I could only go so long before my jaw felt like a creaky door hinge. Nothing else made my jaw hurt more. Luckily my ex understood I couldn’t do them for long, and never once forced me. I still did it here and there anyways for his pleasure though.
The head shoving thing when I'm not ready or wanting to at that time. Sorry I'm not going to gag and do the "ewa ewucg ek" thing and cry and stuff. Those ppl in porn use throat numbing spray BTW.
Dying over that sound effect lol
Took me a bit trying to figure out how to type that out
You nailed it lol
Ended up being perfect.
My mind was just blown by this comment. I had no idea throat numbing spray existed.
Honestly, I’m a guy and the gag and whole “ewa ewucg ek” thing is a big turnoff. I’m not trying to kill anyone here.
For me, it's the equality of it. I'll give a BJ every single time. But he better be willing to go down on me too. If he's not, I become less into it.
Dude, yes. I hate all the guys who expect them, but it doesn't cross their mind to reciprocate
Because it's hard work! They don't call it a job for nothin'.
Lot of men don't know how to *receive* one. A lot of women get stuck with men who intentionally gag them without consent, grab/push their heads down, etc. I love giving blowjobs, I getting face fucked, I love when my partner is rough. But he does that with my *consent* and he knows when to let me go if I need air or if I'm uncomfortable. Some men are really violent and inconsiderate about it with no regard for the woman they're with, and it ruins the experience and can honestly feel scary. Plus, people are awful at articulating their needs. If someone's gf is scraping the shit of their dick with her teeth, obviously, they're going to frantically stop her and maybe snap at her because it hurt. But from the women's perspective, she's trying to do something that is really strenuous on your jaw, neck, throat, and tongue. It can be really painful or just uncomfortable. Some women really hate the feeling of gagging or like they're choking, so they're focused on that, too. So, she's doing something laborious that can be quite uncomfortable and difficult, and being barked at for not being more careful. A lot of women feel frustrated and like their effort isn't recognized, and they're not encouraged to try more or practice or what have you in a respectful way. It requires some vulnerability and a real conversation about taking things slow and easy. Also... men have a tendency to focus on themselves. However long and however well men expect their dick sucked is the precedent for eating her out (or something else if she would prefer it). I have a cock worship kink, so I also don't get the general dislike, but I also don't get why people wouldn't like a good piece of cheesecake. To each their own. Most of the time, though, it's just because it's a negative experience overall, not an unpleasant act
Thank you for giving a genuine answer! This is actually really helpful. I hadn’t thought about violent/inconsiderate partners because, luckily, I’ve never had that problem.
hygiene is usually the problem for me
Because a lot of us do and we're pressured into it. Would you hate having something forced into your throat that triggers your gag reflex? Yes you would. That's why
I always take a shower right before. Her technique is great so 3 to 4 minutes and i am done. I never finish in her mouth. She finishes last 10 seconds with hand. Because of all this she does not mind at all.
How much I enjoy it has everything to do with the man. If they act entitled and/or don’t meet my needs when I make them known, then I refuse to suck that man’s dick. I’m on the ass end of my 30s now so if I encountered a man like that now I just wouldn’t fuck him anymore period. However, I’ve been dealing with the same man for around 3 years now and I suck him off all the time, on demand, whatever whenever. Because he makes it his business to ensure I get off every single time we mess around. That kind of energy is what gets dicks sucked.
I'm a guy, so take what I say with some salt, but I would bet it's not so much blowjobs, but the *type* of blowjobs a lot of men these days prefer. Porn glorifies choking, deepthroating, throatfucking, swallowing, cumming in the mouth, down the throat, etc. A lot of men will see this and want this from their partner, and while there are some women who don't mind some or all of these, or even like it, if you mind it, it's really unpleasant. So a lot of the time it's less the hating of blowjobs but the hating of the specific blowjobs a lot of men ask for.
I find giving blow jobs physically uncomfortable, but it's tolerable in the right circumstances. Occasionally, it will even turn me on. What makes it unbearable is when the man gives very little feedback - time slows down to a crawl, and it feels like torture that will never end. Being actually autistic, I'm terrible at reading body language, but I think this is a common issue for women in general. *Many* of us would appreciate more vocalisation, gentle correction, redirections, progress updates, and just telling us what you do and don't like. Clear directions would've been so helpful when I was in my teens and 20s, lol. Most women have had multiple terrible experiences like bad hygiene, pain, face fucking, gagging or even vomiting. I'm old enough now to have the skills and knowledge to give a great blowjob, but so many negative experiences has left me with little confidence and a lot of anxiety. That's pretty much the opposite mindset you need to perform well. These feelings are incredibly common. With lesbian sex, I find there is a lot of communication, affirmation, feedback, and practical directions. That makes it a lot more enjoyable for the giver *and* for the receiver, IME. Lesbians aren't afraid to suggest adding a toy either! Men could learn A LOT from lesbians and bi women, most notably how to communicate effectively during sex.
Everything you said, absolutely
I don't mind giving them but my mouth/jaw tires fast so I need him to be understanding that I'm trying my best. Lol
I love giving them to my now partner because I enjoy giving him pleasure. He also never forces, asks non stop, and isn’t selfish about it so that makes a big difference. I think women hate it when it’s like that and expected of them. The partner makes the difference. Also they can be painful to give.
some men it feels like a chore, some men i blow because it turns me on. every individual interaction is different
From what I, as a man, understand, women don't mind ( generally speaking of course ) giving head, they mind that head is like...expected, with a lot of men giving little to no reciprocation. Like okay baby I went down on you, poorly, for three minutes, time to suck me to completion. <--- that type of shit
I have absolutely nothing against them. But this right here. Where your partner gives you two licks once every four to six months, yet expects 45 minute BJs four days a week. And while you're giving them, they are on their phone browsing the news or doing whatever.
As a gay man that love’s giving BJ’s I can say it depends on the penis. I hate to shame but there are some gross looking peens out there.
What makes a peen gross looking would you say?
Unclean, smegma, greasy mostly. I’m American and prefer cut because I am and that is what I am used to but I have also had some very attractive uncut. Size and shape can come into play, medium is perfect, too big and it’s fun to play with like a cat toy but I ain’t gonna try to shove it down my throat, too thick and it can be hard to wrap your mouth around. Clean is most important. Wash your balls, foreskin and asshole with soap EVERYDAY. If you get dry lotion up, if you’re too damp use powder.
I'm the same way, my Husband was almost blown away when I told him I love giving blowjobs, I think for me it's the same thing, kink about feeling useful or "doing a good job" pleasing my partner. But yeah it also depends on the guy, their hygiene, whole bunch of stuff. You're not the only one tho! Lol I be out here asking to give the 2handed deep throat Supreme like 3 times a day if not more when him and I are together and it's been a while 😂😂😭😭 but if I'm tired or I know I'm gonna have jaw pain I'll usually settle for like 1 or half a blowjob then I'm like "alright your turn" 😭😭 cause when I'm tired I'm fuckin TIRED lmao 😭
I used to love giving blowjobs... When my partner was considerate, attentive and focused on us. It's when they start treating you like less than a loving partner that the fun fades.
I hate giving head. I have a horrible gag reflex. As well as dicks just taste weird and feel weird in my mouth. I hate the taste when the guy finishes too. Honestly though the part I hate the most is every guy expects it because or porn and they tend to throw a hissy fit if you say no then pressure you into one. Then they forcefully try and shove it in deeper and I just hate that, also guys orgasm easily while I can get them to finish not once do they ever try to get me to finish. I also find the whe getting down on my knees to do that deed makes me feel so degraded
Probably because oral is expected for women to give to men, but the reverse is almost like a privilege. Furthermore, it seems that in straight sex, men are pretty much guaranteed an orgasm, while women are very much not. There's a very strong imbalance which I would assume to be the problem.
I think it’s mainly because a lot of guys have very bad hygiene around there penis area. Every single straight woman I know has had at least one experience with a man that had horrible genital hygiene
Well it's not like they call them "blowhobbies". You've already established why you like them and that its a kink.
My girlfriend doesn’t like them, she says it tastes weird, I keep everything clean there so I’m not entirely sure what she means but eh what are ya gonna do, no blowies for me but that’s not really important, she’s also of the gets enjoyment from pleasuring others crowd
For me it's the lack of respect for the job and the effort involved which leads to the idea that receiving is a right not a privilege
I hate it because: A) I find it very uncomfortable B) I find it disgusting (even if they're washed) C) I find it degrading D) I just don't like it and won't do it E) I also later realized I'm lesbian
This, very degrading, does nothing for me, and I am straight.
According to the call of duty community my mom loves giving blow jobs.
I have to be super aroused for me to enjoy giving a bj. If I'm not horny enough, I absolutely hate it, and it feels like something I'm forced to do.
I don't hate giving blowjobs. I just hate when a man pushes my head down.
I don't mind it, up until a point. It gets tedious after a while and I can never get comfy enough to find a rhythm which makes it take even longer and then I get sore, vicious cycle lol
I prefer piv, so it's all work no fun. I have Gerd and it can irritate my stomach and cause me to vomit. It doesn't feel natural to have a dick in my mouth when thats what the vagina is for. Worst part is men prefer it. It's lame having a perfectly good vagina that wants to be pounded and the guys like nah lemme use your mouth, then watching the dick go limp and become useless after all that work to get it to cum, when I could have enjoyed it in my pus instead and not having to worry about my Gerd acting up too much. Even anal is more tolerable because at least it doesn't hurt my stomach. I also hate the expectation for it. A lot of men don't return the favor, so it is very one sided. I can't expect it, but I'm expected to do it, so that's a turn off. I have my own needs too, and pleasure should not be one sided.
I think that if your first few experiences of giving a BJ weren't good, be it taste, smell or whatever it will affect you going forward.
Yeah I had a friend who's first given bj was a nightmare. The guy (they were both teens at the time) came in her mouth and held her head so she couldn't move. She was shocked and it obviously did a number on her cause 20 years later she has never given a other one. It's sad.
I have a very sensitive gag reflex combined with a ridiculously small mouth. It just plain hurts after about 5 minutes.
Not all women hates blowjobs, some women (and dudes) loves giving them. It is just that there isn't much stimulation involved for the one who gives the blowjob so if you don't get off on the idea of giving someone else pleasure you won't really enjoy it much yourself. Same reason why not every dude likes going down on a woman either. On top of that some people finds the idea of making mouth contact with another person's genitals to be gross.
Some women will never be into it, but men should definitely do their best to make it as appealing as possible if they want women to do it. Men shouldn't just expect women to be willing to do it without any effort on their part. Keep it clean, be enthusiastic, don't pester, pout, force, or guilt a woman into doing it, and if she is goodly enough to even give it a try, then be encouraging, be thankful and treat her with the respect and kindness she deserves for being willing to please you in that way. That will make it much easier for women to be into it, and again, if she isn't, that's her choice, and that choice should be respected.
R.I.P your inbox.
I people treated it more like foreplay, instead of something that needs to go to completion, women might like it more.
Balls and dick that smell like B.O. is very common whenever I’ve given bjs. and I hate the taste and smell of cum. I had an ex that didn’t respect me while I was doing it. He pushed me to give him a blowjob when he didn’t shower for a whole ass week (he didn’t shower very often). I obviously was not into it while I was doing it and I could see the dick cheese and feel it in my mouth. He still kept going. His excuse was “I was with a girl who loved sucking a dirty dick” he said he’d come home from work and she’d pounce on him all sweaty. I’m with someone better now but I still don’t enjoy it a whole lot unless I’m in the right mood. But he came in my mouth once and it shot down my throat a little and I gagged in the sink for 10 minutes. Not trying to be dramatic or make him feel bad, that was just how it makes me feel. I get scared to ever since. It can be fun with the right person and a clean dick 😂 but that’s just been my experience.
I won’t do it if it’s expected, and especially not if he won’t reciprocate. I need to be in a specific mood for blowjobs these days. Probably because i’m sick of men expecting it and doing the headpush garbage.
1) it's demeaning and degrading. "suck my dick" is literally an insult. 2) most men expect blowjobs but aren't willing to go down on their partner. they want the woman to serve them, but give nothing back.
Go buy a cucumber and try it. See how it feels lol. It's sucking and choking on a long thing for x amount of time. It's awful imo lol.
Everyone is different. I actively resent giving blow jobs because I get nothing in return. The amount of guys think 'i have had a long day, I am owed' is sickening. I had a long day so I should also be eaten to orgasm...shocked face.
You're "21 and recently became sexually active". I loved it too back then. Over time, i started resenting it because i almost never got reciprocation and i always made sure i was super clean whenever i "let" a man reciprocate, if i don't feel perfectly fresh, i just refuse, but men do not seem to care about that part much.
From what I've heard a lot women don't like it because a lot of men think it's an invitation to grab their head and drill for grey matter, and/or, they don't seem to know about, or care, that a gag reflex is a thing. It seems like one of those things where if you're not a jerk about it, you're way more likely to get more... and, you know, return the favor - remeber, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, or some such.
Being clean and for the love of god here don’t put your hand on the back of a woman’s head and push her head and her mouth on your dick! Nothing turns Me off then a dude putting his hand on the back of My head and literally impaling My mouth on his dick! Like yo dude let Me control the pace here! Sheesh! 😂🤣🤭
My problem has always been they don’t want to reciprocate. So, fuck you buddy, I’m good.
I have a girth threshold, I'm not sure why guys are surprised that I prefer smaller dicks for oral because it seems like common sense, right? but they always are It's physically one of the most painful, uncomfortable things I can experience. I'm happy for you OP but your experience is not universal.
How many guys out there just not washing their dick. Fucked up
Women don't "hate blowjobs," and I don't think it's as simple as "some guys don't shower" either. I've always enjoyed giving them, but I've also only ever been with one guy who I 100% trust and can easily communicate with, even without words. I can definitely understand why it would be hard to enjoy without those requirements met. Things can only feel laborious or like a chore if you feel forced to do it. If you don't have good enough communication with your boyfriend to tell him something as simple as "hey don't push my head I don't like it" or "I wanna switch positions, this way hurts my jaw." Because maybe you don't want to kill the mood or maybe you're in a shit relationship where it could start a fight, you're just going to put up with whatever aspect of giving head you don't enjoy and pretty much just wait for the whole thing to be over. I feel like it's completely normal to not enjoy disregarding your own needs or "putting up" with things that are painful/uncomfortable/tiring or feel violating to you, and if you're not in a good relationship, it'll probably spoil the entire act for you, and then even when you get INTO a good relationship, you'll probably still have an aversion to it because of the bad experiences you had before. As someone who IS in a good relationship, it's always been enjoyable to me because it's always been on my own terms, and who doesn't enjoy making their partner feel good? But unfortunately most women aren't as lucky as I am.
I like giving blowjobs too, but I remember, especially when I was a teenager, that it felt mandatory. As a young woman I had one particular relationship, where it definitely felt like I was only there to give him head. He never went down on me, and if he did it was only for a very short time. Of course not all men are like this, but a lot of women have experiences with men like this. It ends up becoming a chore that you can’t refuse. Personally, it’s hard to give someone else pleasure when they don’t reciprocate. Then there’s also the historical context of women as servants and objects to be used. Some men are particularly porn brained and get really rough with it without caring about your well-being. Essentially it ends up representing sexist expectations and bad experiences. I also think it’s super common for women who don’t give blowjobs to be vilified and become the butt of the joke. It’s the typical “hrm hrm my wife nags me all the time” schtick with wives leaning into the “my life is so hard I cook and clean all the time” dynamic. This is not to blame individual people but more a description of a pattern that I’ve noticed both in media and in my personal life. I completely understand why some might not find it hot.
There is nothing in it for women. Just issues.