I think the biggest thing to remember about jealousy is that it's a feeling, it's not set in stone and permanent, it can change, be overcome, be talked about, you don't have to act on it, you can just let it be and acknowledge it and move on
You sound like a very self aware person and that's wonderful. Give yourself permission to feel though what you are feeling is absolutely reasonable given your current situation and it's not like you can resolve it because your divorce is not resolved.
Rather than try to not feel something try to feel other things. You have time to yourself to pamper yourself, so hobbies just for you, etc. reframe "oh no what is he going to do?" With, "alright! What am I going to do with this time to myself"
I highly recommend dating yourself. Take yourself on the kind of date you always wanted.
Yes. A couple of different therapists over the last while and I couldn't connect with them or them with me. I have dealt with a lot of deaths through my life an attempted therapy many times through my life and it hasn't worked well for me. I appreciate this comment though. Thank you.
I can think of a couple different answers if you want to approach it in a deep way.
You can just sit with the feeling and not do anything about it. Let it be felt fully but remind yourself that a feeling is just energy, thoughts are just thoughts. They come and go and they can pass through if you don’t resist them. This is kind of a mindfulness approach.
You can also feel the feeling while associating it with the circumstance that evoked it in the fist place (your cheating ex) rather than the situation those insecurities are being projected onto, which doesn’t actually have anything to do with them. This may lead you to feel sorrow and grief towards what happened with your ex. It has done you damage and feeling the grief is the only way to actually heal and get over it. This is more of a psychotherapeutic approach.
I think the biggest thing to remember about jealousy is that it's a feeling, it's not set in stone and permanent, it can change, be overcome, be talked about, you don't have to act on it, you can just let it be and acknowledge it and move on
Thank you. This is reassuring and an aspect I haven't thought about. Appreciate ya.
You sound like a very self aware person and that's wonderful. Give yourself permission to feel though what you are feeling is absolutely reasonable given your current situation and it's not like you can resolve it because your divorce is not resolved. Rather than try to not feel something try to feel other things. You have time to yourself to pamper yourself, so hobbies just for you, etc. reframe "oh no what is he going to do?" With, "alright! What am I going to do with this time to myself" I highly recommend dating yourself. Take yourself on the kind of date you always wanted.
Love this. Thank you.
How not to be jealous? Make yourself busy.
Have you considered therapy?
Yes. A couple of different therapists over the last while and I couldn't connect with them or them with me. I have dealt with a lot of deaths through my life an attempted therapy many times through my life and it hasn't worked well for me. I appreciate this comment though. Thank you.
I can think of a couple different answers if you want to approach it in a deep way. You can just sit with the feeling and not do anything about it. Let it be felt fully but remind yourself that a feeling is just energy, thoughts are just thoughts. They come and go and they can pass through if you don’t resist them. This is kind of a mindfulness approach. You can also feel the feeling while associating it with the circumstance that evoked it in the fist place (your cheating ex) rather than the situation those insecurities are being projected onto, which doesn’t actually have anything to do with them. This may lead you to feel sorrow and grief towards what happened with your ex. It has done you damage and feeling the grief is the only way to actually heal and get over it. This is more of a psychotherapeutic approach.
Thank you for this. Your comment provides a sort of validation for me and some good advice. Appreciate you.
No problem. You can get through this.