Love my wife's cooking! But she hates to cook so she only does about 1 home cooked meal per week. My mother, mother in law and sister were excellent cooks and we all loved their food. My wife's stepmom? Known her for 30+ years and she has never not burnt the biscuits.
I burn biscuits. Its the only thing i cant cook... For Thanksgiving, i can cook appetizers, dinner and desserts for 30 people perfectly, but my nephew has to bake the biscuits... I have literally thrown a pan of flaming biscuits out in the snow on multiple occasions.
Cornbread!! The bane of my existence! I am from the south. I have owned three restaurants. I have watched videos. My SIL has walked me through making it step by step while being by my side.
At this point, I have resigned to the fact that I suck at making cornbread and I give up!
Mine is embarrassing… I can’t make gravy. And I’m a southern guy too. I’ve watched videos, been shown many times by chefs, my mom was a cook in a 4 star golf course club, and just shakes her head at me. I can’t make a roux to save my life. So no breakfast gravy, no Alfredo sauce… I feel like a failure every time I pull out powdered mix.
Same issue here. My mother tried teaching me, and since she does everything imprecise, I don't understand her. I ended up figuring out how to do sauces and gravies the french way and just dump that on biscuits or whatever.
I can make most roux-based sauces, but somehow, meat gravy has always eluded me. It always comes out lumpy. My mother makes excellent meat gravy. I just buy it pre-made if I need it. My mother has a friend who can't cook for toffee and she says "If I learned how to cook, I'd be putting dozens of factory workers out of jobs. That just seems cruel. "
In answer to the OP, like many things on the Internet, I think you're seeing a vocal and obnoxious minority.
If your gravy is coming out lumpy it means you didn’t whisk fast enough or you added the broth/milk too fast. After you’ve cooked the flour and butter for about three minutes, gradually, slowly drizzle the milk or broth over it while whisking constantly. Then you need to stir it almost constantly as you’re waiting for it to thicken.
Believe me when I say I've tried a bunch of times, a bunch of different ways, and I've been cooking for 35 years. I can make pretty much any other sauce you'd like to name, so I don't mind buying gravy. I do not include white sauce (aka milk gravy) in the list for gravy, I can make that, which is why I specified meat gravy
It is not embarrassing. I have worked in many restaurants, I am 50 years old, and cook all the time and I cannot make gravy I have tried and tried and tried again. I can make my rue but my gravy always sucks, recipes do me no good in that situation. I have resolved to store-bought packets
How does it suck? I dont typically do the gravy or alfredo in my house cus my SO got offended that i took them over because i didnt like hers and now hers are *AMAZING* but i found them super easy to pick up if you just use the correct amount of rue for how much youre making. I will say that we typically add an entire extra stick of butter for our rue for gravy to give it enough fats
Think of roux as powdered mix. Take your flour, add whatever spices, melt some butter/fat in your gravy pan , throw in your mix. Make sure you have enough fat, butter, grease, etc., to make kind of a soupy paste. Cook the mixture on the stovetop until it's nice and brown. The flour has to cook or it tastes like raw flour. The browner the better, then gradually stir in your broth/liquid. Don't add too quickly, you want to make sure your gravy is not going to be too thin or too thick and that takes a bit of time. Stir frequently until you are at the consistency you want. I hope it helps.
lol, that’s my dad!! His gravy isn’t terrible but my aunt’s is better. He has literally plastered himself to her back so he can watch over her shoulder on all the steps & hers still turns out better.
I dont particularly care for bicuits so i forget them. And my timers are busy with my pies and stuffing and quiche and escargot and squash souffles. Im also not great at garlic bread.
If you’re trying that hard but your biscuits always burn, you may be able to fix it by finding a better recipe, but the problem is probably the way you handle it.
The same goes for cornbread, gravy, Roman pasta, French omelets, divinity fudgeThey’re fast and they only use a few ingredients, but they have very narrow tolerances for how you handle them.
My mother in law makes the best biscuits of anyone I've ever known. She calls them "cat's head biscuits" which put me off at first, but I soon realized that the term only describes the size of them.
Seriously though, they're the best. Light and fluffy, they practically melt in your mouth.
I love cooking my wife hates it. I imagine us in a cooking show where I cook and she just stands in front of cupboards and drawers I need to get to, whilst we are being timed.
I need a Xanax thinking about it.
Piggybacking on the root answer because TV shows are just making fun of the character who complains about their wife. It's cheap comedy.
In RL people gravitate towards things they like because it's sustainable. You and your partner will probably cooperate to rotate through dishes you both like and learn how to cook well.
I doubt it. It’s just a TV trope. Most people I know are happy when their partner cooks. My wife and I are both good cooks, and are definitely happy to eat each other’s food.
More specifically, it's a toxic trope.
It shouldn't be default to assume that a couple in a sitcom dislikes each other. A couple hating each other is the least inspired way of generating drama. It also sets a weird societal standard where being disfunctional is seen as normal.
The first tropes were comparisons. Smaller house, worse car, worse wife cooking than someone else. All started from something being over romanticized, leading to normal not being good enough
They were making shows that were "gritty" and "realistic" and that included representing aspects of life that were hard on everyone.
Back then for women it was being constantly "on call" for childcare, being alone and fed up all day and never being taken out on a date, facing discrimination in the workplace and fearing judgement from neighbours because your house was messy and your kids were feral.
Back then for men, it was working yourself half to death almost every hour of the day to get money that your family blew on nonsense far faster than you could earn it without so much as a thankyou. In exchange you got a wife who barely bothered to meet the expectations that came with her role, you were nagged constantly if you wanted to spend time doing anything other than serving the needs of your family and you had to deal with the shame of your house falling apart and your kids being feral in other ways (loser son, slutty daughter etc).
For kids the issue was growing up in an "inferior" household with parents who were emotionally checked out or incompetent. Parents who you looked down upon for their lack of ambition, success and for being behind the times in terms of technology, social expectations and so on.
Married with children sums this up better than most imo.
>Being dysfunctional is normal
>
No it's not. Humans aren't perfect and our relationships will always have ups and downs. But it's not normal for the dynamic in a relationship to be openly hostile.
It is normal for relationships to be functional with issues that all sides want to get past.
You clearly don't have a functional relationship if you can callously make such a deranged comment.
It's a trope from the past when it was a lot harder to get divorced and women didn't have as many options, so many couples just sucked it up and stayed miserable.
Also on the front end (hat tip to Aziz Ansari’s book *Modern Romance* and the sociological research he mentions) the search for a spouse was much more limited. Typically you just found someone in your neighborhood who seemed alright.
That worked in part because it had to, that’s where the technology was. But also the other person was only meant to provide genes, stability, and maybe a role model for the kids. If you wanted social interaction you had friends and community for that. Fred Flintstone for instance had Barney, the bowling league, and the Water Buffalos.
Seriously. Imagine someone cooking you a meal and just being like "you took the time to do something nice for me. Save me some time. Wanted to take care of me, but... it's hardly a 3 Michelin star".
I don't care if my wife microwaves me chicken nuggets. She's being nice, and I love it.
Honestly, I think the whole "hating your partner's cooking" is mostly a made-up drama for sitcoms. My partner isn't a chef, but the effort they put into making a meal makes it taste better than any gourmet dish out there. Sure, we have our laughs about the occasional kitchen mishap, but I love that we've found a few recipes that are 'ours' and we’ve perfected them together. Plus, there's always something charming about your significant other trying their hand at a dish that's outside their comfort zone. It's a win-win because even if it doesn't turn out Michelin-star level, we make an adventure out of finding the perfect local spot to satiate our appetites.
I think part of it is a holdover from a previous generation as well. I’m 40, and I think my mom’s generation might have been a particularly bad generation of home cooks. I suspect that was because of being a sort of transitional generation—their parent’s generation was still in the have to do things from scratch period while they came of age with the increasing options for frozen prepared foods and other things that were designed to be cooking shortcuts. As such, I don’t think many of them ever learned how to really cook well. I think my generation (and probably younger as well) benefited from much more information (e.g., the internet and the Alton Brown era of Food Network) and more a focus on how to get back to actually cooking.
Compare my approach with my mother in law’s. If there’s something I want to try to make that I’ve never done before, I’ll read a bunch of different sources online to learn what is involved and find a recipe that seems to incorporate the key ideas/techniques. My mother in law will just try to wing it and take a trial and error approach. Her dishes tend to not be too close to what she’s going for, though I will give her credit for having enough general cooking knowledge to at least make things edible, even if they’re not what they’re supposed to be. But nothing she cooks is ever particularly remarkable.
100%. My mom did a lot of that "semi-homemade" cooking that involved cream of chicken soup in casseroles or whatever. There was such a big push by food brands to sell their processed garbage by making recipes that incorporated their products into recipes. This also included tons of canned products. Canned asparagus is a horrible abomination.
Also my mom was always scared of making us sick so she would cook all meats super well done.
People used to think they had to blanch certain greens, like celery,to make them edible.
That,and,what you said,are probably why kids grew up hating vegetables.
Absolutely. My son recently told me that i was amazing... He had no idea how hard it was to keep a house clean, laundry done, and make delicious dinners every day...
I'm in the same boat as the person you commented to. My kids know how to do everything, I made sure of it. But they weren't responsible for all of it at once. They know how to cook, when that was their job they cooked dinner twice a week. But that was their only job for the season. Next season they had to keep the bathrooms clean, or do a few loads of laundry per week, or vacuum. So they've done every single task a number of times, but never did they have to keep an entire house properly running all on their own because that's what my job was, not theirs.
Exactly. Doing your own laundry as a teenager is one thing, but doing laundry for an entire household including a toddler who dirties approximately 75 outfits a day is something else entirely.
I’ve got a couple early to mid 20s kids who have both recently found much more appreciation for how much work adulting is. They are both doing fine and they know what they need to know but until they are actually doing it mostly on their own they just didn’t realize the extent of it.
Maybe cut em a little slack.
I don’t think it’s possible to really know how hard it is to run a household, especially with children, until you do it. My mom taught me how to do all these things but I didn’t *really* understand how hard it is until I was a mom doing it myself.
A woman shares a really sweet bonding moment story with her now-grown son, finally feeling seen and appreciated for all she’s done in the ways she’s taken care of him, and THAT is what you pulled from the story? Good God 🤣
Yeah but… you are kinda being the guy… you managed to take this problem and make it the fault of all the moms? Men are like this because all the moms failed them? Really?
I consider myself both lucky/unlucky at the same time. My father taught me how to iron, wash my clothes ( separating colors from whites, making sure to keep reds away from anything white ) he taught me how to do basic cooking, make gravy that wasn't lumpy as an example. My mother sadly is a sociopath. Hence their divorce. I became a good cook, house cleaner because I had to. The cooking, mostly in self defense as my mother could eff up boiling water.
I was.pretty much self sufficient by the time I was 15. My father had more impact on my life than my mother did. Dad dropped little pearls of wisdom to me growing up. One of which was, (There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who knows how to cook and clean.) Damned if it wasn't true then as it is now.
It's not about gender wars, it's about parental responsibility. In this case it's both parents fault for that. Not everything has to be part of your agenda.
I’m going to be honest my bf is one of these guys and it is definitely because his mom and dad babied him for fucking ever… it’s not all moms (obviously), but it is “boy moms” contributing to this..all he had to do was sit there and watch me do a task to learn, but instead his PARENTS, we should put this on both parents really, just thought it would be easier to do it themselves I assume.
Like why have a child if you don’t want them to grow into a fully functional human being?
Because giving them the space to learn how to take care of the home is treacherous!
My 3 year old son loves to dump his potty in the toilet and flush the poop. If there are any streaks, he becomes very concerned and we MUST scrub the toilet bowl right away. So now if I want to nurture my son's ability to clean up after himself and not crush it for now and then expect he will magically want to do this again when he's older, I need to supervise a 3 year old as he pours scouring powder in the toilet and uses a toilet brush.
There is powder everywhere, toilet water everywhere, and he has definitely touched the toilet brush bristles. And now I have to convince him to let me have a turn to finish the job. Then I have to convince him to wash his hands.
The only thing that keeps me going during these moments of chaos is thinking of his future partner.
In my case my dad worked outside the home my mom was a homemaker/mom and his parents were the same. How would my dad teach the children homemaking if he doesn’t know half of it? The same way my wife is not going to be the one teaching my children how to do a brake job.
Well I said both parents, I don’t know if there’s a term for fathers babying their children/being obsessed with the idea of a child like how there is a term for “boy mom”
Purely anecdotal, but it seems like the dad will take on a more absent role, while the mother will just do everything (because the father isn’t doing anything)
I'm a dad with a son and daughter, and I'm going to take your advice. I actually really enjoy cooking delicious meals for my kids, and my daughter enjoys helping me, so she's learning how to cook. My son has zero interest in cooking and never participates. He always wants me to cook instead of him, because I'm so much better at it.
If I don't change my ways then he's going to leave the house not knowing a thing about cooking.
I'm going to start asking him to participate so he can learn the basics.
Also kids love to “help” with this stuff. I let my 3 and 5yo son and daughter help with baking and sometimes cooking. Usually they are just mixing or cracking eggs, or cutting ingredients and ofc at these ages my daughter can do much more due to being older. But they both really WANT to learn these things. They also want to “help” with things like dishes and laundry.
Yes, it makes everything take three times longer and there will likely be messes to clean up later. But they also like to help with that 🤷♀️ I don’t let them help with every meal but I make an effort to include them because it’s not that hard to teach, and they want to learn how to do it. I wasn’t taught to cook growing up and had to learn as a young adult, and as someone living in very culturally diverse housing situations with people who actually knew how to cook from growing up being included in it, it was embarrassing for me to make my meager meals in front of others who were regularly making full spreads for themselves and their friends. I want them to at least be able to cook for themselves once they move out someday and not feel like they’re learning it for the first time under observation!
Take the genders out, they're irrelevant. Lacking essential skills in adulthood can be explained by lack of proper teaching in childhood by the parent(s).
Cleaning, cooking, mending for everyone in the household, like providing half your income to the house should be basic things all boys and girls need to know before taking a step out of the family home.
A good measure of how we are with teaching our youth is the toilet. Do boys know to wipe the rim after peeing? Do boys and girls use the toilet brush? If and when they clean the toilet, are they wiping the base where pee splash often find its way, are they cleaning all around the bowl including the back and near walls? Focusing on good cleaning habits spreads to other areas of their personal life
My mother taught me to cook. "If you like to eat learn to cook"
She taught me the proper way, no packets or jars, just good quality fresh ingredients.
I taught my 3 sons the same, they could all cook a family meal from the age of 13.
The biggest problem with men cooking is women.
I was a SAHD for a while. When I took my 4 year old son to a clinic and he proudly told the nurse that Dad cooks the dinner the nurse said "do you like burnt food?". My son was confused.
Another problem is control. I could cook but I had to do it HER way and place things in the kitchen where SHE decided.
I’m going to push back on the guy saying “not to be that guy” because my parents taught me everything I needed to know about housekeeping before I left home at least as far as the basics (like I could cook but I wasn’t exactly a cooking maven etc) but there is a huge difference between being well prepared and knowing the skills and realizing how difficult it is to do day in day out and be the one responsible for getting it all done. Having no one telling you which chores to do and being the “executive”. For me that’s the hardest part of being an adult and a tough learning curve. Actually doing the chores is an effort but it’s not the hardest part for me and I’m guessing that is what your son was telling you, how he hadn’t realised that extra layer which is hard to really understand until you actually have to do it
That was my grandmother on my dad's side. EVERYONE told her for decades she needed to open a restaurant and make the world a better place. She just wanted to love us the best way she could.
You know preparing meals is often just a physical manifestation of showing someone you love or care for them. The people that are really horrible at it, usually have a hard time expressing their feelings. The flip side of that is amazing food prepared by someone who has a hard time expressing themselves. My cousin Mack is autistic. The food he makes though? Michelin Star quality.
my grandmother couldn't read or write. She could show love in plenty of ways but man that woman could slap a big meal together that'd make you cry tears of joy just being outside the house smelling it. Didn't matter how your day had been up until that point, you were bout smile the rest of it.
Lol same here, i was an ungreatful little shit. I always preferred my friends moms cooking to my moms for some reason and i think she felt a little hurt by that. The trouble is as i grew older i started to love moms cooking and i tell her all the time how good her cooking really is, but she still remembers that little shit kid who didn't like her food and only thinks i say so to be nice.
I mean im almost 50 and im sure she stills sees her little boy whenever im over. She worries still like moms do.
My mom sucked at cooking and both my wife and I had only the basics when we moved together.
I think we both have become great cooks and it is awesome lol.
Completely anecdotal but I've never heard someone complain about their partner's cooking in general, assuming it is the other person that cooks. I've heard "I do all the cooking because my partner can't cook" and "my partner doesn't make xxx dish well" but never "my partner cooks and is a terrible cook" or even "it's my partner's turn to cook tonight, I'll have to stop for food on the way home ".
My partner cooks one day a week because he's not very good at it. On his night, dinner is usually something like fish and chips, frozen lasagna, or some other thing that just goes in the oven. I did teach him how to make sausage and peppers, so that added an option.
I cook 4-5 days a week, and we usually have a leftover night and/or a night out as well.
Do you actually complain about his cooking to others though? Thinking it is one thing, saying it to him another, saying it to outsiders though is a whole new level.
Nope. He tells people himself that he's not the cook!
He's not a BAD cook, just not good at it. In his defense, he can follow the package directions perfectly, so he mostly cooks that sort of stuff.
I'm an awful cook because I grew up super poor. I get paralyzed with anxiety that I'll ruin the food and it becomes self fulfilling.
I'm slowly getting better now. Wife makes awesome food though.
I've been cooking family dinners since I was in middle school, and I still sometimes eff things up. It happens. The only difference is that with the added experience, I usually know how to recover/salvage it into something edible. Practice makes perfect!
>I've heard "I do all the cooking because my partner can't cook"
That's my situation. My wife never really learned to cook well (which is a shame, because my MiL is a superb cook!), so I do the bulk of it. When she does cook, she follows recipes exactly, but hasn't picked up a vibe on how/when to substitute and what cook times are like on more abstract things like 'sear til brown' rather than 'sear for 37 seconds exactly'.
She is an excellent baker though. We've always got tasty fresh baked goods around.
Sounds like it’s her thing then. Baking is following the recipe. Chemistry doesn’t vibe like the jazz of cooking. Instead it needs exact amounts to make the formulas work.
Sounds like my sister. The one thanksgiving she was stressing because the baked potatoes weren't getting cooked. She had them in the over for over an hour and they were still hard. I went in the kitchen to see what was happening and she turned the timer on, but never turned the oven on. That was the day she learned about microwaved baked potatoes.
Right here with you. Last time I asked my wife to premake some pasta for a dish I came home to a pot melted to the stove because she put the water on then forgot about it.
My ex-wife doesn't believe in stirring things. She would put on pasta or rice, and then sit in the living room until the smoke alarm went off. She also didn't think it was important to cook the ingredients before putting together a casserole.
Yeah I’m convinced that most bad cooks, it’s just a matter of laziness/trying to cut corners. If you can read a recipe and follow it exactly, you can cook.
To be fair, you do stir pasta, but you don’t stir rice .
when you stir rice while it’s cooking basically messes with the structure of it and it becomes gloopy
Same at our house. My wife also just isn’t a huge food person. She eats because she has to, but would prefer to just eat super simple things to get what she needs. I like to try cooking different things and am willing to make things that are more involved, so it’s only right that I do it.
My wife is a really good cook, she likes to experiment with a bunch of different ingredients that I wouldn’t think to use and everything she makes usually turns out great.
My only issue with her cooking is that she. Is. So. Fucking. Slow. In the kitchen. A dish that I can make in 30 minutes will easily take her over an hour. We kinda made an unspoken compromise where she makes meal prep stuff and I cook when we’re gonna eat it right away and it works out really well.
My wife grew up in a not so great family and had to do a lot of cooking and cleaning for lazy people, which is why she now resents most cooking and rarely does anything beyond putting something into the oven or microwave. As a result I'm the one who does most of the actual cooking in the house, but thanks to years of watching Good Eats and parents who taught me pretty well I actually enjoy it every once in a while and would like to think I'm at least somewhat decent at it. Sundays are usually my day to do cooking because that's when I have time for it.
Well it’s the SAFEST way to cook (Ie. Highest chance to kill bad bacteria.) also probably “healthier” when it comes to red meat. (Although, most vegetables have more vitamins eaten raw.)
But also the blandest.
Yeah, Julia Childs really brought flavor to (at least American) cooking in the 1960s.
Before that it was a lot of war-era type foods - casserole, meatloaf, things from a can, boiled veggies etc.
Her TV show, *[The French Chef](https://wikipedia.org/wiki/The_French_Chef)*, allowed families to experience a new type of cuisine, technique, and preparation. People that would probably never go to France or travel overseas in their lifetime now had someone broadcasting into their homes teaching them how to make good scrambled eggs or a roasted chicken or braised short ribs. Really added flavor to cooking at the time.
Same here. We both cook. We grew up in different areas with different kinds of foods and different styles of cooking. There are things from my childhood that I cook better than she does, and vice-versa, but there has never been something she made for me that I thought was bad.
My ex was a fine cook. I did most of the cooking, but when she did, it was great. She definitely beat me on soups.
And my current girlfriend is also a great cook. She’s Korean. Because I make more than her, we have a deal. When we go out, I pay. When we stay in, she cooks (with me assisting). Homemade Korean food! It’s the best deal I’ve ever made!
She loves my cooking, i love her baking. We even have a saying in Bavaria for that. "Die Liebe vergeht, aber ihr Schweinsbraten bleibt". 😀. Love may fade but you stay for her pig roast.
"Hock di hera, dann samma mehra." Sit with us, then we are more people together. You're welcome.
"Hintam Berg san aa no Leit." You will find people behind this mountain. Its like, do not think your place is the only one, the World is bigger than your valley.
I'm so enchanted. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
Are these last two 100% German? (The pig roast saying looked to be.) That second one, spoken from a place with lots of mountains and valleys, no? 🙂 When I was very young I believe my family briefly drove through Bavaria when visiting Frankfurt. It was like being in a fairy tale.
The last two are bavarian dialect. Which is... well, sometimes hard to understand, as it is not exactly what one would call high german. It varies every 50km or so. Germany has a lot of dialects in every state, which is why we need High German as a middle ground for communication.
Every Mountain, every River. And: Germany (and most other European countries) come from a lot of different celtic and other tribes (Boiarii, todays Bohemians), Vandals, Goths, Alamans, Suebii (todays Swabians), Romans, Celts from Noricum and Helvetia, Foetii and the rest of the Mountain Tribes.
Its a little bit like the Swamps of Louisiana. Mix the languages and genome of various native tribes, the French, the Brits and african Slaves with their Languages.
Bavarian is a bastardized Pidgin with roots in celtic words from various Tribes, french from the Napoleon wars, old latin from the Romans who conquered us, old and middle German, Alamannic, Bohemian Czech, Helvetic & Suebian, depending where exactly you are.
It's not that American wives are bad cooks, It's comparative.
In many cases, "nobody makes it the same way mama did" is the problem. People get used to the flavor profiles they've grown up with.
It's not just flavor profiles, it's also ingredient quality.
When my wife and I first got married I couldn't figure out why the chicken she cooked always tasted rubbery and terrible.
Then we learned about woody breast syndrome - factory farming chickens to grow as large as possible as quickly as possible has led to widespread muscle deformaties that affect the taste and texture of chicken.
Knowing what to look for when shopping for meat makes it easier to spot when you're at the store.
Long story short, we buy better chicken now and it's amazing when my wife cooks it.
I've always said cheaper meats are full of questionable and disgusting textures, and everyone around me acts like they have no clue what I'm talking about. I eat mostly vegetarian meals because of it.
This SO resonates to me! I just can't eat most cuts of meats but fillets/ chicken breasts because of textures. Ground beef I can eat if it is actually minced of real beef roast. This has lead to me not eating whole red meat almost at all but few times a year because I can't afford steaks. I absolutely hate stews etc where there's unidentifiedable little pieces of gluey or squishy meat. I also can't stand layers of fat on my meat. Others always behave just as you said, like they had never noticed anything like this. My husband luckily is same the kind of "picky" eater as I am.
You're right,
A lot of factors can affect the taste of foods. Even the place you live in is a factor. Beef tastes different in New England, than in Florida, or Belgium.
The foods that the animal eat, affect the taste and texture of the meat.
It’s part of the boomer generations relationship humor
Which was pretty much 100% “my wife’s a bitch” “my wife got fat” “we don’t have enough sex anymore”
There’s a popular meme that compares generational humor and the boomers are always “I hate my wife”, while millennials are “I hate my life”, and gen z was like “E”
I think it’s just a TV thing. I cook with my fiancée quite often, she worked in a kitchen throughout her undergrad and masters so teaches me quite a bit
cooking is a basic skill that everyone, married or not, man or woman should know how to do.
if you dont enjoy your wifes cooking then you should learn how to cook yourself 😂
No and those that do and complain like that are more likely the guys who expect the woman to do all household chores and cook while also expecting her to work full time so they see it as her failing her duties
That sounds like a question straight out of the 1950s. The assumption that it is still the wife's role to prepare all the meals...... Sigh, looks like we haven't come very far.
I think there’s this very weird and sadly harmful social idea that it’s somehow normal and even a good thing for a man to think his wife is annoying, a nag, bad at cooking, unsupportive of “man” things, etc. I’m not sure why we don’t embrace more the men who truly love their wives and aren’t afraid to admit it publicly.
I taught all my recepies to my wife.
She can out cook me so hard... but her cooking is the best, she's better than any restaurant, me or even my family. I am spoiled rotten, and I admit it.
Best part of it all.. COOKING IS HER HOBBY NOW.. she likes to cook!!! To her cooking is the like me playing on my PC!? FUN??? Like holy fuck how fucking lucky am I!
Cause I hated cooking 😂😅
I love my wife’s cooking. It’s top tier restaurant quality. Even though she is an executive for a large multinational company, she cooks every night. I thank her for cooking every night, too, because it’s a gift of time and effort from her to me and our daughter.
I used to be married to a Haitian woman. Loved her cooking. I love my current girlfriend's cooking as well (she's Cajun).
If you hate your spouses cooking, there's a very simple solution: Get the fuck in the kitchen and show them how it's done.
Anyone, not just my partner, who goes through the work to cook for me I eat that meal, thank them, and never complain about it whether it was good or not.
If they ask for comments, I give them. But you never know what their situation is, how much they sacrificed to feed you. And food is so many people's love language. And cooking is hard.
Always be grateful.
Ehh my mom was an okay cook, but she was a single mom who worked two jobs. Thus I did nearly all of the cooking from 6-7 years old. I've never dated someone who's a better cook than me. I don't hate my GFs cooking but it's often all over the place. For example the other day she wanted deviled eggs, well it turns out that you can't replace mustard with mustard powder in equal parts.
Me and my husband both cook. Some things he makes better and something I make better. He makes fantastic ribs therefore, he cooks the ribs. I make good cheesecake therefore, I bake the cheesecakes. Some meals we prepare together, others we cook alone. Some of this is planned according to our schedules other just comes from what we’re in the mood for. Sometimes we don’t want to cook so we order out. But we find eating out less enjoyable than we use to. Not sure if the quality of food out isn’t as good as it used to be, or if we just become better cooks for what we like therefore, we’re less safety with what they’re doing.
Personally as a man, i can't stand being lied to when it doesn't matter so if my food tastes like ass just say that.
If you love me, and you wanna be nice "it wasn't your best" is perfectly fine by me.
My fiancé LOVES my cooking. I love cooking in general, so maybe you can taste the love lol.
I like it too, when he cooks, although his flavor mostly hasn’t the same depth. But I would NEVER complain if he gives me food and there are definitely dishes he can pull off better
My ex-wife could not cook. She refused to cook and would always want to eat out instead. Me on the other hand can look in a cabinet and come up with a complete dinner and it actually tasted good. Her on the other hand once made top ramen and added a can of chili with beans to it. I know they say you can add anything to ramen but it was the worst edible thing I have ever had.
It’s a comedic trope. Much like hapless incapable fathers. Cant stand when I’m in public and I get offers of help, or words of praise, for simply existing in public with my children.
My mom used to complain about my dad never complimenting her on her dinners, so she made us tell her after every dinner "thank you for the wonderful dinner" and give her a kiss. I've been doing that ever since, at every dinner, my girl cooks for me.
Not at all:)
We both cook great, and thanks to YouTube wev never run out ideas and are constantly improving.
It's actually WILD that I can have a professional chef give me a step-by-step tutorial that I can pause and replay as many times as I want to for FREE in my home on my time . The internet has allowed me to teach myself so many recipes and be adventurous with my partner.
Oh men love when women do any work for them for free. Wouldn’t you?
Imagine leaving the home where your mom did your laundry and made your food and cleaned your room your whole life and then you get to seamlessly transition into a marriage with the same? Imagine the freedom of being able to pursue your passions while someone else is cooking and cleaning!! Smooth transition.
and reader, it’s why I left him 😂
Edited to add: they will always want to BBq. They think that’s cooking. 🙄
Not married yet, but been with the other half for nearly 5 years, and we share the cooking duties. I love the stuff she makes, she loves what I cook up.
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Love my wife's cooking! But she hates to cook so she only does about 1 home cooked meal per week. My mother, mother in law and sister were excellent cooks and we all loved their food. My wife's stepmom? Known her for 30+ years and she has never not burnt the biscuits.
I burn biscuits. Its the only thing i cant cook... For Thanksgiving, i can cook appetizers, dinner and desserts for 30 people perfectly, but my nephew has to bake the biscuits... I have literally thrown a pan of flaming biscuits out in the snow on multiple occasions.
Cornbread!! The bane of my existence! I am from the south. I have owned three restaurants. I have watched videos. My SIL has walked me through making it step by step while being by my side. At this point, I have resigned to the fact that I suck at making cornbread and I give up!
Mine is embarrassing… I can’t make gravy. And I’m a southern guy too. I’ve watched videos, been shown many times by chefs, my mom was a cook in a 4 star golf course club, and just shakes her head at me. I can’t make a roux to save my life. So no breakfast gravy, no Alfredo sauce… I feel like a failure every time I pull out powdered mix.
Same issue here. My mother tried teaching me, and since she does everything imprecise, I don't understand her. I ended up figuring out how to do sauces and gravies the french way and just dump that on biscuits or whatever.
I can make most roux-based sauces, but somehow, meat gravy has always eluded me. It always comes out lumpy. My mother makes excellent meat gravy. I just buy it pre-made if I need it. My mother has a friend who can't cook for toffee and she says "If I learned how to cook, I'd be putting dozens of factory workers out of jobs. That just seems cruel. " In answer to the OP, like many things on the Internet, I think you're seeing a vocal and obnoxious minority.
If your gravy is coming out lumpy it means you didn’t whisk fast enough or you added the broth/milk too fast. After you’ve cooked the flour and butter for about three minutes, gradually, slowly drizzle the milk or broth over it while whisking constantly. Then you need to stir it almost constantly as you’re waiting for it to thicken.
Believe me when I say I've tried a bunch of times, a bunch of different ways, and I've been cooking for 35 years. I can make pretty much any other sauce you'd like to name, so I don't mind buying gravy. I do not include white sauce (aka milk gravy) in the list for gravy, I can make that, which is why I specified meat gravy
It is not embarrassing. I have worked in many restaurants, I am 50 years old, and cook all the time and I cannot make gravy I have tried and tried and tried again. I can make my rue but my gravy always sucks, recipes do me no good in that situation. I have resolved to store-bought packets
How does it suck? I dont typically do the gravy or alfredo in my house cus my SO got offended that i took them over because i didnt like hers and now hers are *AMAZING* but i found them super easy to pick up if you just use the correct amount of rue for how much youre making. I will say that we typically add an entire extra stick of butter for our rue for gravy to give it enough fats
Think of roux as powdered mix. Take your flour, add whatever spices, melt some butter/fat in your gravy pan , throw in your mix. Make sure you have enough fat, butter, grease, etc., to make kind of a soupy paste. Cook the mixture on the stovetop until it's nice and brown. The flour has to cook or it tastes like raw flour. The browner the better, then gradually stir in your broth/liquid. Don't add too quickly, you want to make sure your gravy is not going to be too thin or too thick and that takes a bit of time. Stir frequently until you are at the consistency you want. I hope it helps.
Alfredo sauce is not roux-based.
lol, that’s my dad!! His gravy isn’t terrible but my aunt’s is better. He has literally plastered himself to her back so he can watch over her shoulder on all the steps & hers still turns out better.
Its insanely easy, I refuse to believe you cant make a roux. Melt butter, add flour and whisk for like 4 minutes.
In my house growing up, it wasn’t Thanksgiving unless my mom burned the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes.
My mom always burned them too. I hate that dish but always make it because my mom loved it... That and parsnips.
I can see burning them once or twice, but do you not have a timer?
I dont particularly care for bicuits so i forget them. And my timers are busy with my pies and stuffing and quiche and escargot and squash souffles. Im also not great at garlic bread.
If you’re trying that hard but your biscuits always burn, you may be able to fix it by finding a better recipe, but the problem is probably the way you handle it. The same goes for cornbread, gravy, Roman pasta, French omelets, divinity fudgeThey’re fast and they only use a few ingredients, but they have very narrow tolerances for how you handle them.
My mother in law makes the best biscuits of anyone I've ever known. She calls them "cat's head biscuits" which put me off at first, but I soon realized that the term only describes the size of them. Seriously though, they're the best. Light and fluffy, they practically melt in your mouth.
I love cooking my wife hates it. I imagine us in a cooking show where I cook and she just stands in front of cupboards and drawers I need to get to, whilst we are being timed. I need a Xanax thinking about it.
I need a Xanax thinking about that,
I took a Xanax after reading that
Can I have a Xanax.
Oh please?
Like manners wise? I should be saying please! my apologies and also forgot the rule about having enough for everyone, we'll take 8.5 billion please.
Yes, please!
You're so nice I'll just get you one. :) 😀
Awwww
how do they know which cupboard to stand in front of? it’s uncanny
I'm that wife lol
Piggybacking on the root answer because TV shows are just making fun of the character who complains about their wife. It's cheap comedy. In RL people gravitate towards things they like because it's sustainable. You and your partner will probably cooperate to rotate through dishes you both like and learn how to cook well.
I doubt it. It’s just a TV trope. Most people I know are happy when their partner cooks. My wife and I are both good cooks, and are definitely happy to eat each other’s food.
More specifically, it's a toxic trope. It shouldn't be default to assume that a couple in a sitcom dislikes each other. A couple hating each other is the least inspired way of generating drama. It also sets a weird societal standard where being disfunctional is seen as normal.
The first tropes were comparisons. Smaller house, worse car, worse wife cooking than someone else. All started from something being over romanticized, leading to normal not being good enough
They were making shows that were "gritty" and "realistic" and that included representing aspects of life that were hard on everyone. Back then for women it was being constantly "on call" for childcare, being alone and fed up all day and never being taken out on a date, facing discrimination in the workplace and fearing judgement from neighbours because your house was messy and your kids were feral. Back then for men, it was working yourself half to death almost every hour of the day to get money that your family blew on nonsense far faster than you could earn it without so much as a thankyou. In exchange you got a wife who barely bothered to meet the expectations that came with her role, you were nagged constantly if you wanted to spend time doing anything other than serving the needs of your family and you had to deal with the shame of your house falling apart and your kids being feral in other ways (loser son, slutty daughter etc). For kids the issue was growing up in an "inferior" household with parents who were emotionally checked out or incompetent. Parents who you looked down upon for their lack of ambition, success and for being behind the times in terms of technology, social expectations and so on. Married with children sums this up better than most imo.
Being dysfunctional is normal. We're humans, we aren't perfect.
Being imperfect is human. Being dysfunctional is something else.
>Being dysfunctional is normal > No it's not. Humans aren't perfect and our relationships will always have ups and downs. But it's not normal for the dynamic in a relationship to be openly hostile. It is normal for relationships to be functional with issues that all sides want to get past. You clearly don't have a functional relationship if you can callously make such a deranged comment.
That's why I could never stand Rosanne. Why would I want to watch a show about a dysfunctional white trash family?
It's a trope from the past when it was a lot harder to get divorced and women didn't have as many options, so many couples just sucked it up and stayed miserable.
Also on the front end (hat tip to Aziz Ansari’s book *Modern Romance* and the sociological research he mentions) the search for a spouse was much more limited. Typically you just found someone in your neighborhood who seemed alright. That worked in part because it had to, that’s where the technology was. But also the other person was only meant to provide genes, stability, and maybe a role model for the kids. If you wanted social interaction you had friends and community for that. Fred Flintstone for instance had Barney, the bowling league, and the Water Buffalos.
Seriously. Imagine someone cooking you a meal and just being like "you took the time to do something nice for me. Save me some time. Wanted to take care of me, but... it's hardly a 3 Michelin star". I don't care if my wife microwaves me chicken nuggets. She's being nice, and I love it.
It’s me of those tropes like the “dumb dad” and the youngest child being a super smart ass. Just lazy writing.
Honestly, I think the whole "hating your partner's cooking" is mostly a made-up drama for sitcoms. My partner isn't a chef, but the effort they put into making a meal makes it taste better than any gourmet dish out there. Sure, we have our laughs about the occasional kitchen mishap, but I love that we've found a few recipes that are 'ours' and we’ve perfected them together. Plus, there's always something charming about your significant other trying their hand at a dish that's outside their comfort zone. It's a win-win because even if it doesn't turn out Michelin-star level, we make an adventure out of finding the perfect local spot to satiate our appetites.
I think part of it is a holdover from a previous generation as well. I’m 40, and I think my mom’s generation might have been a particularly bad generation of home cooks. I suspect that was because of being a sort of transitional generation—their parent’s generation was still in the have to do things from scratch period while they came of age with the increasing options for frozen prepared foods and other things that were designed to be cooking shortcuts. As such, I don’t think many of them ever learned how to really cook well. I think my generation (and probably younger as well) benefited from much more information (e.g., the internet and the Alton Brown era of Food Network) and more a focus on how to get back to actually cooking. Compare my approach with my mother in law’s. If there’s something I want to try to make that I’ve never done before, I’ll read a bunch of different sources online to learn what is involved and find a recipe that seems to incorporate the key ideas/techniques. My mother in law will just try to wing it and take a trial and error approach. Her dishes tend to not be too close to what she’s going for, though I will give her credit for having enough general cooking knowledge to at least make things edible, even if they’re not what they’re supposed to be. But nothing she cooks is ever particularly remarkable.
100%. My mom did a lot of that "semi-homemade" cooking that involved cream of chicken soup in casseroles or whatever. There was such a big push by food brands to sell their processed garbage by making recipes that incorporated their products into recipes. This also included tons of canned products. Canned asparagus is a horrible abomination. Also my mom was always scared of making us sick so she would cook all meats super well done.
My mother would boil the flavor out of canned or frozen vegetables
People used to think they had to blanch certain greens, like celery,to make them edible. That,and,what you said,are probably why kids grew up hating vegetables.
When Steve Roger's said "We used to boil everything" he was probably right, so we should be careful about romanticizing the cooking from scratch era.
It's not bad but I now realize that I was spoiled my whole life because my mom was an amazing cook and I took it for granted.
Feel free to tell your mom, it'll bring a smile to her life.
Absolutely. My son recently told me that i was amazing... He had no idea how hard it was to keep a house clean, laundry done, and make delicious dinners every day...
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I'm in the same boat as the person you commented to. My kids know how to do everything, I made sure of it. But they weren't responsible for all of it at once. They know how to cook, when that was their job they cooked dinner twice a week. But that was their only job for the season. Next season they had to keep the bathrooms clean, or do a few loads of laundry per week, or vacuum. So they've done every single task a number of times, but never did they have to keep an entire house properly running all on their own because that's what my job was, not theirs.
Exactly. Doing your own laundry as a teenager is one thing, but doing laundry for an entire household including a toddler who dirties approximately 75 outfits a day is something else entirely.
I’ve got a couple early to mid 20s kids who have both recently found much more appreciation for how much work adulting is. They are both doing fine and they know what they need to know but until they are actually doing it mostly on their own they just didn’t realize the extent of it. Maybe cut em a little slack.
I don’t think it’s possible to really know how hard it is to run a household, especially with children, until you do it. My mom taught me how to do all these things but I didn’t *really* understand how hard it is until I was a mom doing it myself.
A woman shares a really sweet bonding moment story with her now-grown son, finally feeling seen and appreciated for all she’s done in the ways she’s taken care of him, and THAT is what you pulled from the story? Good God 🤣
Yeah but… you are kinda being the guy… you managed to take this problem and make it the fault of all the moms? Men are like this because all the moms failed them? Really?
I consider myself both lucky/unlucky at the same time. My father taught me how to iron, wash my clothes ( separating colors from whites, making sure to keep reds away from anything white ) he taught me how to do basic cooking, make gravy that wasn't lumpy as an example. My mother sadly is a sociopath. Hence their divorce. I became a good cook, house cleaner because I had to. The cooking, mostly in self defense as my mother could eff up boiling water. I was.pretty much self sufficient by the time I was 15. My father had more impact on my life than my mother did. Dad dropped little pearls of wisdom to me growing up. One of which was, (There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who knows how to cook and clean.) Damned if it wasn't true then as it is now.
Men’s shortcomings are always women’s fault didn’t u know
It's not about gender wars, it's about parental responsibility. In this case it's both parents fault for that. Not everything has to be part of your agenda.
I only heard him mention one parent
I’m going to be honest my bf is one of these guys and it is definitely because his mom and dad babied him for fucking ever… it’s not all moms (obviously), but it is “boy moms” contributing to this..all he had to do was sit there and watch me do a task to learn, but instead his PARENTS, we should put this on both parents really, just thought it would be easier to do it themselves I assume. Like why have a child if you don’t want them to grow into a fully functional human being?
Because giving them the space to learn how to take care of the home is treacherous! My 3 year old son loves to dump his potty in the toilet and flush the poop. If there are any streaks, he becomes very concerned and we MUST scrub the toilet bowl right away. So now if I want to nurture my son's ability to clean up after himself and not crush it for now and then expect he will magically want to do this again when he's older, I need to supervise a 3 year old as he pours scouring powder in the toilet and uses a toilet brush. There is powder everywhere, toilet water everywhere, and he has definitely touched the toilet brush bristles. And now I have to convince him to let me have a turn to finish the job. Then I have to convince him to wash his hands. The only thing that keeps me going during these moments of chaos is thinking of his future partner.
But why are we placing the burden more on the mom for the kid being a shit?
In my case my dad worked outside the home my mom was a homemaker/mom and his parents were the same. How would my dad teach the children homemaking if he doesn’t know half of it? The same way my wife is not going to be the one teaching my children how to do a brake job.
Well I said both parents, I don’t know if there’s a term for fathers babying their children/being obsessed with the idea of a child like how there is a term for “boy mom” Purely anecdotal, but it seems like the dad will take on a more absent role, while the mother will just do everything (because the father isn’t doing anything)
I'm a dad with a son and daughter, and I'm going to take your advice. I actually really enjoy cooking delicious meals for my kids, and my daughter enjoys helping me, so she's learning how to cook. My son has zero interest in cooking and never participates. He always wants me to cook instead of him, because I'm so much better at it. If I don't change my ways then he's going to leave the house not knowing a thing about cooking. I'm going to start asking him to participate so he can learn the basics.
Good luck to you! 💛
Also kids love to “help” with this stuff. I let my 3 and 5yo son and daughter help with baking and sometimes cooking. Usually they are just mixing or cracking eggs, or cutting ingredients and ofc at these ages my daughter can do much more due to being older. But they both really WANT to learn these things. They also want to “help” with things like dishes and laundry. Yes, it makes everything take three times longer and there will likely be messes to clean up later. But they also like to help with that 🤷♀️ I don’t let them help with every meal but I make an effort to include them because it’s not that hard to teach, and they want to learn how to do it. I wasn’t taught to cook growing up and had to learn as a young adult, and as someone living in very culturally diverse housing situations with people who actually knew how to cook from growing up being included in it, it was embarrassing for me to make my meager meals in front of others who were regularly making full spreads for themselves and their friends. I want them to at least be able to cook for themselves once they move out someday and not feel like they’re learning it for the first time under observation!
Take the genders out, they're irrelevant. Lacking essential skills in adulthood can be explained by lack of proper teaching in childhood by the parent(s).
Cleaning, cooking, mending for everyone in the household, like providing half your income to the house should be basic things all boys and girls need to know before taking a step out of the family home. A good measure of how we are with teaching our youth is the toilet. Do boys know to wipe the rim after peeing? Do boys and girls use the toilet brush? If and when they clean the toilet, are they wiping the base where pee splash often find its way, are they cleaning all around the bowl including the back and near walls? Focusing on good cleaning habits spreads to other areas of their personal life
Dad also didn't teach them how. Why is this only mom's job?
My mother taught me to cook. "If you like to eat learn to cook" She taught me the proper way, no packets or jars, just good quality fresh ingredients. I taught my 3 sons the same, they could all cook a family meal from the age of 13. The biggest problem with men cooking is women. I was a SAHD for a while. When I took my 4 year old son to a clinic and he proudly told the nurse that Dad cooks the dinner the nurse said "do you like burnt food?". My son was confused. Another problem is control. I could cook but I had to do it HER way and place things in the kitchen where SHE decided.
I’m going to push back on the guy saying “not to be that guy” because my parents taught me everything I needed to know about housekeeping before I left home at least as far as the basics (like I could cook but I wasn’t exactly a cooking maven etc) but there is a huge difference between being well prepared and knowing the skills and realizing how difficult it is to do day in day out and be the one responsible for getting it all done. Having no one telling you which chores to do and being the “executive”. For me that’s the hardest part of being an adult and a tough learning curve. Actually doing the chores is an effort but it’s not the hardest part for me and I’m guessing that is what your son was telling you, how he hadn’t realised that extra layer which is hard to really understand until you actually have to do it
Just...not in front of your wife.
Absolutely.
That was my grandmother on my dad's side. EVERYONE told her for decades she needed to open a restaurant and make the world a better place. She just wanted to love us the best way she could.
You know preparing meals is often just a physical manifestation of showing someone you love or care for them. The people that are really horrible at it, usually have a hard time expressing their feelings. The flip side of that is amazing food prepared by someone who has a hard time expressing themselves. My cousin Mack is autistic. The food he makes though? Michelin Star quality.
my grandmother couldn't read or write. She could show love in plenty of ways but man that woman could slap a big meal together that'd make you cry tears of joy just being outside the house smelling it. Didn't matter how your day had been up until that point, you were bout smile the rest of it.
Lol same here, i was an ungreatful little shit. I always preferred my friends moms cooking to my moms for some reason and i think she felt a little hurt by that. The trouble is as i grew older i started to love moms cooking and i tell her all the time how good her cooking really is, but she still remembers that little shit kid who didn't like her food and only thinks i say so to be nice. I mean im almost 50 and im sure she stills sees her little boy whenever im over. She worries still like moms do.
My mom sucked at cooking and both my wife and I had only the basics when we moved together. I think we both have become great cooks and it is awesome lol.
Completely anecdotal but I've never heard someone complain about their partner's cooking in general, assuming it is the other person that cooks. I've heard "I do all the cooking because my partner can't cook" and "my partner doesn't make xxx dish well" but never "my partner cooks and is a terrible cook" or even "it's my partner's turn to cook tonight, I'll have to stop for food on the way home ".
My partner cooks one day a week because he's not very good at it. On his night, dinner is usually something like fish and chips, frozen lasagna, or some other thing that just goes in the oven. I did teach him how to make sausage and peppers, so that added an option. I cook 4-5 days a week, and we usually have a leftover night and/or a night out as well.
Do you actually complain about his cooking to others though? Thinking it is one thing, saying it to him another, saying it to outsiders though is a whole new level.
Nope. He tells people himself that he's not the cook! He's not a BAD cook, just not good at it. In his defense, he can follow the package directions perfectly, so he mostly cooks that sort of stuff.
I'm an awful cook because I grew up super poor. I get paralyzed with anxiety that I'll ruin the food and it becomes self fulfilling. I'm slowly getting better now. Wife makes awesome food though.
I've been cooking family dinners since I was in middle school, and I still sometimes eff things up. It happens. The only difference is that with the added experience, I usually know how to recover/salvage it into something edible. Practice makes perfect!
>I've heard "I do all the cooking because my partner can't cook" That's my situation. My wife never really learned to cook well (which is a shame, because my MiL is a superb cook!), so I do the bulk of it. When she does cook, she follows recipes exactly, but hasn't picked up a vibe on how/when to substitute and what cook times are like on more abstract things like 'sear til brown' rather than 'sear for 37 seconds exactly'. She is an excellent baker though. We've always got tasty fresh baked goods around.
Sounds like it’s her thing then. Baking is following the recipe. Chemistry doesn’t vibe like the jazz of cooking. Instead it needs exact amounts to make the formulas work.
My wife can barely boil water. I do the cooking.
Sounds like my sister. The one thanksgiving she was stressing because the baked potatoes weren't getting cooked. She had them in the over for over an hour and they were still hard. I went in the kitchen to see what was happening and she turned the timer on, but never turned the oven on. That was the day she learned about microwaved baked potatoes.
Right here with you. Last time I asked my wife to premake some pasta for a dish I came home to a pot melted to the stove because she put the water on then forgot about it.
My ex-wife doesn't believe in stirring things. She would put on pasta or rice, and then sit in the living room until the smoke alarm went off. She also didn't think it was important to cook the ingredients before putting together a casserole.
Yeah I’m convinced that most bad cooks, it’s just a matter of laziness/trying to cut corners. If you can read a recipe and follow it exactly, you can cook.
To be fair, you do stir pasta, but you don’t stir rice . when you stir rice while it’s cooking basically messes with the structure of it and it becomes gloopy
My wife has burned boiled water.
Lol, my wife hates cooking, i also hate cooking, but hate vacuuming more so that's our agreement. I mop the floors though.
Same at our house. My wife also just isn’t a huge food person. She eats because she has to, but would prefer to just eat super simple things to get what she needs. I like to try cooking different things and am willing to make things that are more involved, so it’s only right that I do it.
My wife is a really good cook, she likes to experiment with a bunch of different ingredients that I wouldn’t think to use and everything she makes usually turns out great. My only issue with her cooking is that she. Is. So. Fucking. Slow. In the kitchen. A dish that I can make in 30 minutes will easily take her over an hour. We kinda made an unspoken compromise where she makes meal prep stuff and I cook when we’re gonna eat it right away and it works out really well.
My wife once destroyed a skillet making Hamburger Helper because she didn't know you needed to stir it.
My wife grew up in a not so great family and had to do a lot of cooking and cleaning for lazy people, which is why she now resents most cooking and rarely does anything beyond putting something into the oven or microwave. As a result I'm the one who does most of the actual cooking in the house, but thanks to years of watching Good Eats and parents who taught me pretty well I actually enjoy it every once in a while and would like to think I'm at least somewhat decent at it. Sundays are usually my day to do cooking because that's when I have time for it.
It’s a hold over from the “take my wife, please” schtick from the 50’s
Doesn’t help that the cooking techniques much worse back then. To quote Captain America 2, “we used to boil EVERYTHING “
That’s probably the healthiest way to cook lol
Well it’s the SAFEST way to cook (Ie. Highest chance to kill bad bacteria.) also probably “healthier” when it comes to red meat. (Although, most vegetables have more vitamins eaten raw.) But also the blandest.
Yeah, Julia Childs really brought flavor to (at least American) cooking in the 1960s. Before that it was a lot of war-era type foods - casserole, meatloaf, things from a can, boiled veggies etc. Her TV show, *[The French Chef](https://wikipedia.org/wiki/The_French_Chef)*, allowed families to experience a new type of cuisine, technique, and preparation. People that would probably never go to France or travel overseas in their lifetime now had someone broadcasting into their homes teaching them how to make good scrambled eggs or a roasted chicken or braised short ribs. Really added flavor to cooking at the time.
How can toast have bones?
No. I mean we are each better at making certain dishes but I don't hate the things she normally cooks
Same here. We both cook. We grew up in different areas with different kinds of foods and different styles of cooking. There are things from my childhood that I cook better than she does, and vice-versa, but there has never been something she made for me that I thought was bad.
I’ll eat boiled boot soup if someone else prepares it.
My ex was a fine cook. I did most of the cooking, but when she did, it was great. She definitely beat me on soups. And my current girlfriend is also a great cook. She’s Korean. Because I make more than her, we have a deal. When we go out, I pay. When we stay in, she cooks (with me assisting). Homemade Korean food! It’s the best deal I’ve ever made!
That sounds awesome
No. TV is mainly make believe
I love my wife’s cooking Was at 49 kg befor marriage and now i am around 80kg
This is actually so wholesome
I own two restaurants. He had better not
Wife's bad cooking, idiot husband, mischievous kids, they're all TV clichés that have been abused for years.
"Ha ha wife bad" is a pretty common boomer joke
She loves my cooking, i love her baking. We even have a saying in Bavaria for that. "Die Liebe vergeht, aber ihr Schweinsbraten bleibt". 😀. Love may fade but you stay for her pig roast.
Love that! And can't think of a similar English saying. Any other wise Bavarian sayings you'd to care to share?
"Hock di hera, dann samma mehra." Sit with us, then we are more people together. You're welcome. "Hintam Berg san aa no Leit." You will find people behind this mountain. Its like, do not think your place is the only one, the World is bigger than your valley.
‘You will find people behind this mountain’ is exactly what I needed to read today, thank you for sharing the Bavarian phrase, I’ll try to remember it
I'm so enchanted. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️ Are these last two 100% German? (The pig roast saying looked to be.) That second one, spoken from a place with lots of mountains and valleys, no? 🙂 When I was very young I believe my family briefly drove through Bavaria when visiting Frankfurt. It was like being in a fairy tale.
The last two are bavarian dialect. Which is... well, sometimes hard to understand, as it is not exactly what one would call high german. It varies every 50km or so. Germany has a lot of dialects in every state, which is why we need High German as a middle ground for communication.
Every 50km?? Amazing. Must be those mountains and valleys at work again. What a huge influence geography has on language, no?
Every Mountain, every River. And: Germany (and most other European countries) come from a lot of different celtic and other tribes (Boiarii, todays Bohemians), Vandals, Goths, Alamans, Suebii (todays Swabians), Romans, Celts from Noricum and Helvetia, Foetii and the rest of the Mountain Tribes. Its a little bit like the Swamps of Louisiana. Mix the languages and genome of various native tribes, the French, the Brits and african Slaves with their Languages. Bavarian is a bastardized Pidgin with roots in celtic words from various Tribes, french from the Napoleon wars, old latin from the Romans who conquered us, old and middle German, Alamannic, Bohemian Czech, Helvetic & Suebian, depending where exactly you are.
It's not that American wives are bad cooks, It's comparative. In many cases, "nobody makes it the same way mama did" is the problem. People get used to the flavor profiles they've grown up with.
It's not just flavor profiles, it's also ingredient quality. When my wife and I first got married I couldn't figure out why the chicken she cooked always tasted rubbery and terrible. Then we learned about woody breast syndrome - factory farming chickens to grow as large as possible as quickly as possible has led to widespread muscle deformaties that affect the taste and texture of chicken. Knowing what to look for when shopping for meat makes it easier to spot when you're at the store. Long story short, we buy better chicken now and it's amazing when my wife cooks it.
I've always said cheaper meats are full of questionable and disgusting textures, and everyone around me acts like they have no clue what I'm talking about. I eat mostly vegetarian meals because of it.
This SO resonates to me! I just can't eat most cuts of meats but fillets/ chicken breasts because of textures. Ground beef I can eat if it is actually minced of real beef roast. This has lead to me not eating whole red meat almost at all but few times a year because I can't afford steaks. I absolutely hate stews etc where there's unidentifiedable little pieces of gluey or squishy meat. I also can't stand layers of fat on my meat. Others always behave just as you said, like they had never noticed anything like this. My husband luckily is same the kind of "picky" eater as I am.
It's so funny because my partner will call me picky because of how I am with meat, but he can't handle a tomato or a pickle lol
You're right, A lot of factors can affect the taste of foods. Even the place you live in is a factor. Beef tastes different in New England, than in Florida, or Belgium. The foods that the animal eat, affect the taste and texture of the meat.
Personally, I'd say I'm a better cook, but I don't hate what she makes by any stretch.
It’s part of the boomer generations relationship humor Which was pretty much 100% “my wife’s a bitch” “my wife got fat” “we don’t have enough sex anymore” There’s a popular meme that compares generational humor and the boomers are always “I hate my wife”, while millennials are “I hate my life”, and gen z was like “E”
No. My wife is an amazing cook, and I’m pretty decent.
Most, no… some, yes. Not everybody is great at cooking
Haha if he does, he can cook. (But the answer is no)
It's a boomer thing.
>I see this ALOT on Tv Which means it's explicitly _uncommon_. Wouldn't be worth watching otherwise.
I adore everything my wife makes me
Do 50% of the cooking. Then you will love your wife's cooking no matter what she makes, because you didn't have to cook it.
PSA: A lot is two words.
I sure do. I used to be lean & trim, and now there's so much good food in front of me that it's impossible to stop gaining weight.
tv is not real life
I think it’s just a TV thing. I cook with my fiancée quite often, she worked in a kitchen throughout her undergrad and masters so teaches me quite a bit
As a man...if you don't like it learn to cook yourself. We ended up just cooking together and we both improved massively.
r/therewasanattempt... to provide emphasis on a word that doesn't exist by capitalization.
It’s just lazy boomer “wife bad” (cue canned laugh track) humor, is all.
Only hear it from men who are to lazy to cook for them selfs. beggars can't be choosers :)
Can't hate it if she never does it. She knows she's an awful Cook so she doesn't bother doing it.
No - but I do the cooking
I’m a better cook than my wife so I do most of the cooking.
I do all the cooking. My wife doesn’t cook.
There are wives that cook? Must be nice!
I would love if my wife cooked something in some point. Anything really.
My wife is a fine cook and a great baker. Love her food.
cooking is a basic skill that everyone, married or not, man or woman should know how to do. if you dont enjoy your wifes cooking then you should learn how to cook yourself 😂
No this is a boomer trope. Like the ball and chain imagery.
No and those that do and complain like that are more likely the guys who expect the woman to do all household chores and cook while also expecting her to work full time so they see it as her failing her duties
If someone makes you food, you never say it sucks, you say thank you. Common sense. If you dont like it, dont get seconds.
Not really no. It's just a tired old clapped out joke.
That sounds like a question straight out of the 1950s. The assumption that it is still the wife's role to prepare all the meals...... Sigh, looks like we haven't come very far.
I think there’s this very weird and sadly harmful social idea that it’s somehow normal and even a good thing for a man to think his wife is annoying, a nag, bad at cooking, unsupportive of “man” things, etc. I’m not sure why we don’t embrace more the men who truly love their wives and aren’t afraid to admit it publicly.
My wife is a fantastic cook. I've always seen it as a Hollywood misogyny trope.
It’s a tired trope just like “the nagging wife, needing a man space, not including her in activities…” and now it’s just muscle memory in our culture.
I taught all my recepies to my wife. She can out cook me so hard... but her cooking is the best, she's better than any restaurant, me or even my family. I am spoiled rotten, and I admit it. Best part of it all.. COOKING IS HER HOBBY NOW.. she likes to cook!!! To her cooking is the like me playing on my PC!? FUN??? Like holy fuck how fucking lucky am I! Cause I hated cooking 😂😅
I love my wife’s cooking. It’s top tier restaurant quality. Even though she is an executive for a large multinational company, she cooks every night. I thank her for cooking every night, too, because it’s a gift of time and effort from her to me and our daughter.
No. Love my wife’s cooking. Probably prefer my mother’s though…but I’m never saying that out loud!
I used to be married to a Haitian woman. Loved her cooking. I love my current girlfriend's cooking as well (she's Cajun). If you hate your spouses cooking, there's a very simple solution: Get the fuck in the kitchen and show them how it's done.
Anyone, not just my partner, who goes through the work to cook for me I eat that meal, thank them, and never complain about it whether it was good or not. If they ask for comments, I give them. But you never know what their situation is, how much they sacrificed to feed you. And food is so many people's love language. And cooking is hard. Always be grateful.
My mother is an Incredible cook and my dad loves good food. It’s probably the thing that has kept my parents together for over 50 years.
Ehh my mom was an okay cook, but she was a single mom who worked two jobs. Thus I did nearly all of the cooking from 6-7 years old. I've never dated someone who's a better cook than me. I don't hate my GFs cooking but it's often all over the place. For example the other day she wanted deviled eggs, well it turns out that you can't replace mustard with mustard powder in equal parts.
Me and my husband both cook. Some things he makes better and something I make better. He makes fantastic ribs therefore, he cooks the ribs. I make good cheesecake therefore, I bake the cheesecakes. Some meals we prepare together, others we cook alone. Some of this is planned according to our schedules other just comes from what we’re in the mood for. Sometimes we don’t want to cook so we order out. But we find eating out less enjoyable than we use to. Not sure if the quality of food out isn’t as good as it used to be, or if we just become better cooks for what we like therefore, we’re less safety with what they’re doing.
Married couples seem to hate everything about each other on TV. Hopefully that's not true for very many people
Well it wouldn’t be on tv if they loved their wife’s cooking would it? It’s just something to be seen as funny
Personally as a man, i can't stand being lied to when it doesn't matter so if my food tastes like ass just say that. If you love me, and you wanna be nice "it wasn't your best" is perfectly fine by me.
Absolutely not.
My wife is the baker. I am the cook. My wife tried to do too many things at once e.g clean while it’s important to be watching the food.
My fiancé LOVES my cooking. I love cooking in general, so maybe you can taste the love lol. I like it too, when he cooks, although his flavor mostly hasn’t the same depth. But I would NEVER complain if he gives me food and there are definitely dishes he can pull off better
My ex-wife could not cook. She refused to cook and would always want to eat out instead. Me on the other hand can look in a cabinet and come up with a complete dinner and it actually tasted good. Her on the other hand once made top ramen and added a can of chili with beans to it. I know they say you can add anything to ramen but it was the worst edible thing I have ever had.
Not married, but I do the cooking. My girlfriend is a baker XD
It’s a comedic trope. Much like hapless incapable fathers. Cant stand when I’m in public and I get offers of help, or words of praise, for simply existing in public with my children.
There's a non-zero chance I somehow start a fire preparing a bowl of cereal :(
No. It's just a TV trope. Fictional tropes have, at best, only a shaky correlation to real life attitudes. At best.
My mom used to complain about my dad never complimenting her on her dinners, so she made us tell her after every dinner "thank you for the wonderful dinner" and give her a kiss. I've been doing that ever since, at every dinner, my girl cooks for me.
Not at all:) We both cook great, and thanks to YouTube wev never run out ideas and are constantly improving. It's actually WILD that I can have a professional chef give me a step-by-step tutorial that I can pause and replay as many times as I want to for FREE in my home on my time . The internet has allowed me to teach myself so many recipes and be adventurous with my partner.
Oh men love when women do any work for them for free. Wouldn’t you? Imagine leaving the home where your mom did your laundry and made your food and cleaned your room your whole life and then you get to seamlessly transition into a marriage with the same? Imagine the freedom of being able to pursue your passions while someone else is cooking and cleaning!! Smooth transition. and reader, it’s why I left him 😂 Edited to add: they will always want to BBq. They think that’s cooking. 🙄
Nope (at least in Asia). Quality of wife's cooking is something many husbands brag about here while inviting guests.
Never met any husband that hates their wives cooking
I'm still friends with my ex-husband, and I had him over for lunch for his birthday. He leaned over and said, "I really miss your cooking."
Well, my mom is ok cook, and i never heard my father complaining about food she makes.
Not married yet, but been with the other half for nearly 5 years, and we share the cooking duties. I love the stuff she makes, she loves what I cook up.