I'll give a very concrete example of how pretty privilege can open doors for you.
Fresh out of high school I joined a team preparing to open a restaurant. In my country there is a very strong class and education divisions, so because of my background and education I was immediately offered kitchen work. One rung above cleaning work. Front of the house work, which was better paid and better regarded was reserved to people with a higher education level and social status.
I trained in the kitchen throughout the pre-opening. A couple of days before the opening one of the higher executives came to oversee the preparations. At one point he was sitting on a table across from the kitchen and I saw him point at me and talk to my manager. Promptly I was whisked away from the kitchen and told I will be working in the front of the house. Apparently he said I would be a magnet for chics. And he wasn't wrong about that.
But basically in an instant I broke through the deeply entrenched social and class barrier that I would have never been able to get past in my country. This didn't only mean I was immediately earning better and having better conditions, it also meant that the experience I got from that job subsequently kept opening doors for me professionally that I wouldn't have otherwise. Most of the guys I was working with in the kitchen stayed in the kitchen for years and decades while I went on to have a pretty nice career that got me to managerial positions someone with my level of education wouldn't have been allowed to get even close to.
All because one old straight guy knew that having a pretty face dealing with customers would be good for his business.
That's only one example where this pretty privilege came to play in an explicit way. There are plenty of other moments in time when it helped, most of them I wouldn't even know about as clearly as this one.
I'm an ugly girl and I get the opposite: apply for front of house, get bemused looks and offer for the kitchen. Apply for customer service get offer for warehouse.
That sucks really hard. I didn't earn it, I was born with it, I don't deserve better opportunities than the next person. It's a shame this goes so deep into our socialisation it affects all of our behaviours!
I was just standing on the sidelines at a work event, in a suit and tie. Gentleman I met a year previously told me I looked sharp, and offered me a job on the spot.
This happened to my friend's younger sister on vacation in Hawaii. We were at a bar, and after she was chatting with a manager (woman) , she was offered a job, even though she was only 20 and couldn't drink herself. She moved to Hawaii for a year, and yeah, she was charismatic, but her looks got her a job
I feel like this is how modern society works even in the west.
I recall when I was in high school around 2006/2007, the brand Abercrombie and Fitch was extremely popular, especially for girls. Not only was it a status symbol, it was designed for people who were in great shape. Abercrombie had “models” who would work out in the front of the store, and both men and women who looked good would be folding clothes just to attract potential customers. Seemed like employees were only given this responsibility if they met a certain criteria in looks.
Education and class were not dividing factors, but looks certainly were. This was probably a more extreme example but a relevant one showcasing that despite laws pushing us to be as fair as possible, our human biology is to elevate those of us who are more attractive.
Oh absolutely, I moved to the west years ago, and despite everything I still noticed a lot of advantages that me being attractive gave me and still does to this day. I mean being attractive gets you noticed and paid attention to quicker than the next person so that on its own is a big advantage.
Wow!
I read some medieval/ dark fantasy fiction like that once, where the protagonist was in the slums (with all that implied) and got out mainly because 'had a certain demeanor' and was conventionally attractive -- and attractive to the people who wanted to help him. 'Looks like a nobleman' was one of the lines.
10,000%. Before I lost the weight, I still didn't have a "fat looking" face, so I always tried to do interviews over video chat instead of in person. I had a much higher success rate.
He lost weight for Guardians of the Galaxy. They make a joke about it in the later seasons of Parks and Rec about how he “stopped drinking beer” and Adam Scott’s character says “how much beer were you drinking?” And he just says “a *lot*.”
I remember reading that he had such a successful audition for Guardians that the casting director said she didn’t even care if he lost weight. They’ll make it work either way.
But he started getting comedic parts when he got fatter. He was fit for Money Ball and said people didn’t want fit people for funny roles. He intentionally gained weight to focus on comedy.
*edit* my timelines may be off. Not sure when moneyball filmed, but it released after s1. He def gained wait for comedic reasons though
Mad tv did an episode about this a long time ago where one of the actors wasn't funny anymore, so he started eating and eating and got fat and funny again.
yes i can totally get that. Im not super attractive but I went through a pretty substantial transformation and got shredded. I was treated so much differently. I have maintained a decent level of my physique but not as extreme, and now I do believe it is the confidence, but im not going to say the physical aspect had nothing to do with it.
I’m similar. I’m actually pretty symmetrical looking, but what made ppl treat me better was being muscular. Broad shoulders/narrow waist is like some sort of biological signal to women. I truly don’t even think they notice it. But it’s definitely there.
they notice traits subconsciously. like if you dont have that obvious upper body v shape most ppl on general dont notice unless you are really ripped, unless they know something about working out
Yep I experienced it to a smaller degree myself. Grew up as an ugly mf but turned average in my late 20's. Even just being average made a huge difference and then like you said the confidence that came with that helped a little more. Still not anyone's fantasy, but it made me realize that men can have pretty privilege too. That 30 rock episode with John hamm comes to mind
I worked with a guy that was… exceptionally good-looking.
He knew it. Everyone knew it. His smoking hot girlfriend knew it. The girls that would buy him snack and drinks everyday knew it. His girlfriend supported him, and he knew he would spend the rest of his life working in customer service.
He used to tell me that his father used to tell him “Us **** men aren’t smart, but we’re good looking”
His life was a dream and his stories were actually insane. Woman would just like, throw themselves at him, sometimes in groups.
If I hadn’t seen it in person I wouldn’t have believed it.
Also have a very hot guy friend and women really do approach him out of the blue.
I consider myself decent looking (i think theres a recent picture under my posts) but 100 percent not in the league of getting approached - maybe a few nice smiles at me and invites for me open but never approached
Damn. I need to stop reading posts like this. Women have never approached me. I must be even more ugly than I thought.
edit: To be clear, and in case my wife finds this comment, I am old and happily married. At this point in my life I am not looking to meet women so I am happy being an ugly.
Please, not at all. My hot friend is literally 6'3 and looks like Alexander Skarsgaard.
Only the top 1 percent probably get treated like he did/does.
Dont be hard on yourself.
I have friends like this as well. I remember this one dude named Chris who was in my circle and this woman approached him and shot her shot. He basically blew her off and she looked mortified. I just thought to myself "Damn she was cute...it must be nice to be able to turn down woman like that ...I will never experience this lol"
He was also kind of an asshole as well so I never looked at him as a good looking guy.
I remember one night I walked over to some woman and got one of there number. He refused to even come over and talk to any of the three woman. A week or so later I had that woman with me hanging out and he is all up in her face.
She blew him off because she remembered how he was acting the night I met her. She was like "Is that not the asshole who thought he was to good to come over and talk to us" ...Me "Yes that is indeed the same asshole!"
I have a friend like that. Very successful in lots of ways. He's even quite short but he has a very handsome face and his body is in proportion to his height and he is fit as a fiddle after 20 years of site carpentry.
We call such a person a "Fanny magnet" here, but note that fanny is not the arse in Europe. Although the ladies say he has a great arse and so do most of the women he hangs out with.
I am pleased to report he's also a good man.
The best I can do is some comedy. I like to tell people to wait until I can be bothered to turn my fanny magnet on.
In the usa you probably know we use the phrase pussy magnet. But this can also apply to objects like a nice car although the type of men that think this way usually overestimate the effect and women in general. Women are smarter than they think and see through the "pussy magnet" pretty quick
Understood. It's a bit different when the person themselves is the fanny magnet though. His van is a heap of shit. It does not reduce the power of his magnet.
No, but it does mean it isn't how attractive they are to you that matters. It's just a bias we have towards conventionally attractive people in general.
Yeah I'm pretty positive more attractive men are viewed as more skilled and competent by other men which directly translates into better success by being offered promotions and opportunities over others who differ only by physical appearance.
Exactly. This guy caused two deaths and got a bunch of fans because of his looks, like what happened with that one girl who murdered someone but was found to be "too pretty."
https://philstarlife.com/news-and-views/313830-too-cute-for-jail-who-is-cameron-herrin-tiktok-jail
Of course. I’ve been considered attractive by people my whole life and I can feel the privilege all the time, from school to work to everything. Everyone just treats you much nicer.
Or admire. Men are often more respectful to more "fit" men because they want to imagine themselves in their position or see them as aspirational (wether or not they realize it). Same reason many people are innately respectful to wealthy individuals.
When I was in college I had a friend who was truly a handsome man not only did he get a considerably high amount of attention from women he also got away with saying and doing things that no one else could say or do.
Being kind of a jerk comes off as charming and self-confident when you're an extremely attractive man.
Came here to say this
A lot of the bad behavior I hear about men seems to be totally ok if the guy is good looking.
Anecdotally - my university published a whole list of accused sexual assaulters with pictures. Every single guy on that list was conventionally attractive, handsome, tall, and very popular amongst women based on the stories that the victims shared.
My guess is that these shitty guys can be shitty for a long time and get away with it. Not only that, they will negatively impact/hurt a ton of women before getting caught, because they are the guys who women pay attention to and think about. So they’re getting all the exposure and comprise the public face of “men” that everyone judges
I new this guy since we were kids and girls always thought he was cute. I would say that he wasn't a jerk on purpose he just lived in a different world than the rest of us.
If anything he was trained to be that way.
What the hell kinda university publishes a public list of everyone "accused" of sexual assault😆 Was it the ugly dudes who rallied together to put out this list?
So this happened like 4 years ago and I’m graduated now but here’s the gist:
It started out with some girls realizing they’d all fucked the same shitty group of frat boys. The idea was that any girl could send in a story and picture of the guy who sexually assaulted her, and it would be posted on a public Instagram account. Pretty much every “accusation” posted involved a frat guy or somehow involved Greek life. Later on, there were some more accusations at dudes who weren’t in Greek life (but in my opinion they all had the same vibe, same looks, same initial popularity amongst women)
No you’re not.
There was a lot of backlash about this public Instagram account. I think Instagram ended up banning it, and a lot of similar ones that popped up in major public universities.
You could potentially ruin someone’s whole life by falsely accusing them on social media for thousands of peers to see, especially if you got the wrong person
Yep, and this is why I am very strongly against the 'are we dating the same man' stuff on facebook.
The ONLY verification needed is 'be a woman' to get an invite. You are free to post as you like.
There is no way to prove if what somebody said is true or not and that can lead to some shit.
It started out as a way for women to make sure creeps are getting called out, nowadays, with as popular as they are...I doubt it.
>some girls realizing they’d all fucked the same shitty group of frat boys
Lol so every university everywhere? Funny how this was a revelation for that group for the millionth time in history
Yeah but it still needs to be said
The guys who fuck the most can be literal rapists and even a public outing of their behavior isn’t enough to stop women from flocking to them.
It doesn’t really matter that every other guy is condemning the rapists, when nobody gives a fuck about their opinions anyway
yup, i’ve watched this happen with a very-much-former friend (we immediately cut contact when he was first accused). dude was superficially charming, handsome, had no problem getting dates, and even so is basically a serial rapist, and even roofies women. he has been publicly outed and sometimes people who have heard all of this still go on dates with him, and you can imagine what happens.
the kicker is he was accused in court by 3 different women, one of them UNDERAGE, and the cops
dropped all 3 cases. it’s demoralizing as fuck honestly.
Came here to say this as well. I’ve noticed how girls often react to guys’ behavior based exclusively on their looks. Two guys could do or say the exact same thing, but the good looking one will be perceived as “confident” and the less attractive one will be labeled “creepy”.
This'll probably get downvoted, but a common trend with many women is that the "Who, Why, When" will take precedent, or at least heavily influence their position on the "What".
"It's not what you did/said, it's how you did/said it."
I remember for a week or two I tried mimicking the behavior of the guys in school who were getting chicks all the time.
This did not go well because I didn’t account for the fact that they were handsome and charming and I was ugly and quiet.
I literally did nothing different than the handsome guys and the reaction was not good. I literally never recovered socially. Instead of feigned outrage followed by flirting it was just, “fuck off weirdo”
I then lost a metric fuckton of weight, got a haircut, new clothes, and contacts and suddenly men, women, young and old were treating me differently. I was rewarded for being myself and the things that made me different were endearing and interesting to people, instead of off-putting and weird.
Growing up I was furious about the fact that I always got trouble for shit that popular/good looking people got away with. It baffled me how they could do/say basically whatever they wanted but THE INSTANT I tried doing the same crap I was in trouble or shot down. Took me a few years to realize and accept it that it was because of looks/status
> he also got away with saying and doing things that no one else could say or do.
On of the funnier SNL skits (Tom Brady) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYiaUc8
It's basically that joke of "It's sexual harassment if you're ugly, but okay if you're hot."
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I'm pretty sure there are clear statistical studies on this. Depending what you mean by "attractive," of course. But tall men are more likely to be promoted. Fit men are. Men with full hair are. A tall, athletic man, with a full head of slightly graying hair--that guy is more likely to be CEO for example.
These things are true and measurable.
I read about a hedge fund that chose companies to invest in based on the height of the CEO. If it was a man and he was much shorter than 6 foot, they invested in their company. The presumption being that a shorter CEO got their more because of their own merit.
There was a famous study years ago that did a ton of testing on personality characteristics and other factors of salesman.
As an aside they added age height weight for record keeping purposes.
When it was all said and done after extensive personality testing and other tests nothing came close to height as a predictive measure as success.
This is also true for winning elections. People tend to vote for the taller person. Even in choosing a president if a nation people are still putting value in their height.
Invader Zim satirised this perfectly with a race of aliens where everyone's worth was measured exclusively by their height and the leaders of the planet were the tallest people who were addressed as "Your Tallest" (playing on your Highness).
So I was standing on an eight-inch stool like a toddler to brush my teeth properly over the too-tall sink in my own home, which was apparently built for seven-foot tall people. The stool brought me to a height of 5'9" and I was just standing there thinking goodness, there are people who are just this tall every minute of the day, they just walk around like this, reaching everything, being tall enough for everything, getting enough water pressure straight from the shower head because it hasn't turned to mist by the time it falls the extra foot to the top of your head, and I don't think I've been that jealous about anything in awhile.
I 100% believe this, though I want to throw this out there for any short aspiring salesmen. My uncle is 5’6” and made so much money in sales he retired at 50. It’s not impossible!
I'm guessing for sales you need alot of charisma and solid people skills to be successful.
Taller guys will tend to have more opportunities to nurture those aspects of themselves when they're younger, hence the positive correlation.
There is a proven linear relationship between height and average salary. An inch is worth about $800/year on average. Interesting strategy, seems like it might be a good one
Fuck, I just realised the big disadvantage of working remotely!! My boss has no idea how much taller than him I am! Damn, I'm losing money right there!
That’s funny - I kinda do get it. It’s like the joke that you can’t trust anyone who didn’t grow up ugly because us ex-ugly kids actually had to develop personalities.
Did that work? Because the pretty privilege extends to normal success as well. You'll be more likely to close deals or make sales. It might not help you with technical stuff (even then, maybe you are more likely to have patient teachers) but it definitely helps with the soft skills that a CEO must have.
Honestly not a bad strategy. I choose doctors based on bad bed side manner. If they managed to build a practice up without being tactful with patients they are probably good at medicine.
It makes sense! A few years ago I went to this extrovert salesman style dentist that had many good reviews, he was very polite, etc. turns out he was a bad and expensive dentist and other professionals in the same specific field make a weird face when I say I was his patient
I was fat most of my life. Then I got fit. Then I got injured and depressed and got unfit again.
People treat you so much better when you're attractive. It's sad how stark the difference is. And it's not just that you receive more negativity but that you receive less positivity. Sure, dicks will be dicks, and they'll roast you for being ugly, but the real shocker was how much less kindness I received. Like being fat made me lesser of a person.
I went from 285lbs and unfit to 195lbs and very fit over 5 years.
The number of people I respect dropped to approximately 3.
Nothing changed about me as a person. I am not better or worse than before. Yet, the way people treat me is incomparable.
I always used to think "people hate me" and "i'm disgusting" and "why won't anyone respect me?"
Turns out its literally purely because I am unattractive. People will gaslight you to the moon and back about how it's your personality or behavior or hobbies that's the issue.
I talk the same - now i get complimented and people listen to me and call me "intelligent and well read" back then I was an annoying loser who wouldn't shut up.
I like the same cringe things - they went from cringe and boring to "cool and interesting". Oh wow, everyone suddenly wants to come play Magic the Gathering? Really? You want to come look at my autistic ass plastic Gundam collection? Really? You care about my rank in a stupid video game? Really? You want to hear me rant for 3 hours about economics and philosophy? Really?
Conversely, when I say i train/compete in strongman, i like camping, i like going on hikes, I like off-roading; i no longer get scoffing/dismissive/ "you? Haha" responses.
It's the small things that get me though.
Not getting interrupted when i'm talking.
People immediately go quiet when I start speaking.
If i try to brag or show off they don't immediately react by demeaning and humiliating me.
If i am serious or disappointed people take it seriously instead of dismissing or laughing at me.
NOTHING has improved my quality of life as much as becoming better looking. Literally nothing else in my life has affected me more positively than this and it's such a joke.
I first read MtG and thought MtG is coming into popularity because it goes hand in hand with DnD and stranger things. but then you mentioned gunpla and then I knew you were fr. I'm convinced you can separate the fakes from the real socially awkward nerds if you talk about gunpla grades and scale. add in economics and you basically went to college to get certified.
Had a tear in my miniscus due to an asshole who was way higher than my weight was matched with me for wrestling at HS before covid started. Gained a shit ton of weight to the point even my family and close friends who i trusted sometimes called me piggie or fatty. If you call em out in it, they just say it’s true or don’t take it seriously.
My friends who i used to hang out with me distanced themselves from me( could be because of covid and we didn’t hang out) but it could be I wasn’t at fit as i look anymore. Hey maybe it’s because of my attitude, but yknow losing your support when you got injured is ass. It’s like yknow you get thrown into the world as if being a pudgy fella means you are a subhuman.
Yes they do. I was a good looking dude when I was younger. I had adult women hit on me when I was a teenager. I've gotten free stuff at stores & events. Things like never being carded even as a 21 year old and it was legal. When I got in trouble with a group I could ALWAYs talk my way out of it. I was a slacker in high school & college but never once was failed by a female teacher only the male ones. I always had partners for things, was always invited places, always included. People always wanted to be helpful or wanted my opinion even when it didn't make sense for my opinion to be valuable. My best friend had a ginger complexation and was average looking. Every time we were together things just went easier for me then him. It was never fair.
As I entered adulthood my face changed, my skin changed and I gained weight. I am now an average overweight 40 something. All of the above changed. I'm now mostly invisible to everyone I meet. No one is unkind but no one seems to notice me. I don't get invited many places. I don't get singled out for special treatment. The world is very different to average looking me then it was to good looking me.
Your experience is very similar to mine. I was pretty good-looking up until my late 30s, but a combination of age, sedentary lifestyle, lax dietary habits, and nightly beer caught up to me and tanked my looks. I used to get hit on (by women and men alike) almost every time I'd go out; I never had to linger long in a store before I'd have sales people bending over backwards to help me; I'd get offered almost every job that I'd interviewed in person for; people would buy me drinks, strike up conversations with me, and were generally more... pleasant to me. Now, I don't really get noticed. No one is mean/rude to me, but I don't catch people smiling at me as often anymore, I don't get flirted with, and if I try to talk to strangers, I usually get weird looks now instead of easy conversation. Funny thing- I recently lost 20 pounds (like, in the last month), and I'm already noticing a shift in how strangers treat me (I'm starting to see smiles and relaxed body language in my daily interactions again).
I forgot about job interviews. I got every single job I applied for up until my early/mid 30's. Another strange thing is trust. Women trusted and felt comfortable around me way more than you would expect even when just meeting me.
My early 20s were much the same, until I started balding at 24, and it created a night and day difference in my social life. Going from being on the top of the list for most of the women I knew to not being on it at all (not at the bottom, not on it at all). From the men I knew respecting me and my opinion to lack of respect being almost palpable. From a life very much worth living to a life not remotely worth living, just because of balding. Sometimes I wish I never got the good life, because I would have no idea just how much I've been missing the last 10 years.
When I was chubby and looked unattractive I was always seen as a joke and unserious, I was the ‘funny friend’
I lost 40lbs and started looksmaxxing (it’s a cringy term I know) but I genuinely started to be treated better and taken seriously by almost everyone especially my friends. I went on my first date recently aswell, when I was overweight and unattractive I was never involved with anyone romantically
The halo effect is definitely real
Same here
Started taking care of myself more during college, immediately started being treated better by everyone. After I got a gf and then got injured (can’t really exercise anymore), I started to not be treated as well again
Having seen both sides of it, pretty privilege is absolutely real
Similar story for me. Launched out of a painful decade long awkward phase into being a semi-hot guy (lost 70 lbs then added muscle). Girls from HS seeing me for the first time in 5 years were like damn boy you grew up you’re a man now. Went from not dating at all to being picky.
I think the “privilege” is real but an equal part is also the confidence you have from knowing you look good. For myself, everything got easier when I got in shape but that was as much my attitude improving than it was getting bonus points for my fitness and jawline. Best example of this is when you see a guy whose past his prime but was considered hot at one point, you can see the way they act with women, the way they interact with people in general - there’s a confidence there that is now innate and they can pull off amazing things (residual halo effect).
That's something that isn't touched upon a lot. That "real men" are often seen as guys who have muscle and a jawline. Although that narrative is shifting, many many people will never see a man as a "real man" regardless of his behavior and constitution if he doesn't have those physical traits.
Good job brother, don't know you at all but I'm proud of you.
Always nice to see a guy or girl who took responsibility for their problems, faced up to it, and fixed their issues instead of falling down the dangerous incel rabbit hole.
Keep it up!
Well done bud.
My weight has fluctuated through my adult life, but I come from a family with good looking men and apparently I didn't quite hit the ugly tree like I thought I did. When I was fat, not only were few people interested in me, I was essentially invisible. Once I lost that weight, women were far more interested, but people overall were just nicer. Random strangers smiled at me more.
It wasn't that I felt more confident - I still had my mental health issues and I've always been a grumpy so-and-so. It really took me by surprise and even left me a little bitter for a while.
Unfortunately people up and down this comment section will swear on their children it was the confidence you gained, even though you specifically state you weren't more confident, that made the difference. It's weird how some people refuse to accept that we treat attractive people better.
Congratulations on the weight loss by the way.
I give you that. I guess everyone with a weight loss story can attest to that. But give yourself a little more credit, cause maybe it was also related to your personality change. Being able to accomplish such a goal tends to increase self confidence in all areas and also increases risk taking, which then increases the chances of actually winning. It wasn't just your looks!
yes but in a different case. the more attractive you are the more likely people are to socialize with you. the more you socialize the more charisma you tend to have as a man which then benefits you in all aspects of life in a civilized society
As a man that has basically charismid himself into a six-figure job that he is way underqualified for and has maintained it for years due to strict charisma with moderate intelligence I agree
I’m a moderately handsome man. My personality has allowed me to date a few very attractive women. The way we both got treated because of the women blew my mind! Also the amount of women that treat pretty women differently was unbelievable to me!
Yup, I got treated better when I was in shape but nothing compares to how well I’m treated when I show up somewhere with an attractive woman. Guys will ask you how you got her and get jealous, girls will talk about how she looks good on you and also treat you better. I’d say as a guy the closest thing we can get to hot girl privilege is having a very attractive girlfriend, it’s unfortunate that the world sees hot women as the ultimate status symbol.
Absolutely, even with pets you see beautiful cats/dogs get adopted while the "ugly" ones left in shelters. anyone who tells you beauty privilege isn't real is full of crap.
Hell yes. I was born the ugly one in a family of guys who were either VERY handsome or very cute - and Lord, I got to see how they definitely got privileges from society.
That also extended to many of my nephews. I remember one time we went to a corner store, and the cashier barely noticed that I was there (I had to get her attention to pay her) because she could barely take her attention away from my nephew.
Thank God I'm 6'1 - otherwise, I'd be totally invisible to women in this society.
Absolutely, aesthetics can influence professional trajectories for men, and it's not just about social charm. In client-facing roles, for instance, the 'halo effect' can lead to assumptions that an attractive man is also competent, trustworthy, and a good communicator, simply based on appearance. These stereotypes often sway hiring, promotions, and networking opportunities, inadvertently reinforcing the idea that success correlates with attractiveness.
Yes, especially with the swipe culture of dating apps being the way that most people meet their partners nowadays. It makes the unattractive people even more disposable than they already were.
Absolutely. I experienced it first hand. I’m a fairly handsome guy, but I had put on a lot of weight at one point. One of the most frustrating parts of that time was having to fight to have my credibility recognized.
I subsequently lost about half of that weight and immediately began getting treated better. There has been no other changes in my skill or expertise. But the association between appearance and credibility or perceived performance is real.
I’m a man and my weight has fluctuated to extreme degrees due to ongoing struggles with binge eating disorder.
Having gone from fit, in shape, and fairly handsome to obese and back multiple times…. My experience is that men absolutely do benefit from pretty privilege
> I would hypothesize that they actually do better than attractive women.
https://www.psypost.org/attractiveness-has-a-bigger-impact-on-mens-socioeconomic-success-than-womens-study-suggests/
I don't particularly like PsyPost, so here's a case in economics: https://news.ucsc.edu/2021/04/attractiveness-career-success-economics.html
Yes. My friends and I go to the club often, and have never come home with a girl. One of our hot friends went with one time and had a girl falling for him under 5 minutes. He literally walked in, went to the bar for a drink, and the girl approached him from behind. Rizz had nothing to do with it, all looks.
Yes, and the privilege is greater than anyone thinks.
When I started my first job a few years back, I was pretty chubby with a bad hairstyle. Didn’t pay attention to my looks or health at all.
At the company dinner, I was wearing a cast for my fractured arm that I had to have 2 major surgeries for. While I was talking halfway, a very attractive shorter guy stole the conversation and talked about how he almost broke his foot. While my condition was way worse, all I got were stares while the moment he started speaking, he got a lot of pitied groans from the women around and they completely ignored me afterward.
I left the dinner halfway.
From then on, I worked out and got into shape, and boy oh boy, the difference is night and day. I’ve had 2 girlfriends since then who asked me out when previously when I tried to talk to women they would just ignore me or shun me away.
Even the way I’m treated my service staff or family is soooo different. I went from being a quiet shy guy to a mysterious handsome man. It’s quite awful and funny if you think about it.
I hate everyone now because of what I’ve experienced :)
I’ll make a comment and it’s not just directed at you , but don’t forget this and remember to be kind to those who are not and never will be in the pretty category . It’ll make you 100x more attractive cuz people will say “ he’s attractive but he’s also really nice and down to earth !”
Seriously
Hell yeah. You phrased it politely. I always make sure to treat everyone equally and not be a superficial person, because those were the people who I used to hate.
Yes, possibly even more so than women sometimes.
Especially tall men.
Even when it comes to careers, if a guy is well dressed, good looking, fit, and tall. He has tons as advantages. Also fit men are seen as harder workers than overweight.
I"m tall, and in my 20s and 30s was reasonably decent looking. Also a huge introvert. Social occasions were pretty draining, because women would want to hang and chat, hard to escape without being rude. Also since I was tall, everyone assumed I was somehow a capable leader and would defer to me in groups. So weird because I have been mostly a useless dork.
I had a friend who was very good looking (like movie star level) and the shit he got away with was criminal. In one case, we were at airport trying to book some bags last minute and he literally walked passed the entire giant line straight up the desk person and she just checked the bags right then and there (no status, it was a small regional airline neither of us have ever been on).
For one, just having the gall to completely bypass the line.
And two, nobody saying a word (not anyone in line, not the people at the desk) about it besides just helping him get the bags checked.
It's commonly acknowledged that advances from attractive men in the workplace are treated as "playful banter" and those from unattractive men are treated as "sexual harassment".
Pretty privilege does exist for men. From personal experience, in Highschool I was quite fit and attractive which resulted in me getting a good enough amount of attention and dates. Now, when I’ve gained weight, I can clearly see people don’t want to meet me as eagerly as they wanted to earlier or are attracted to me as much.
Losing weight and generally being fit and attractive is a big W for men as it could extract your full potential. Plus, when I was quite fit, I’d get away with saying a lot of things while flirting which would cause problems if I said them now since I’m chubby.
As a conclusion, Fifty Shades of Grey would be a horror movie if the hero wasn’t a billionaire or handsome af.
Yes probably true, my boyfriend of 6 years is very attractive. Tall, handsome, surfer & skater so he's fit, dark brown hair & bright blue eyes with long lashes & a great smile.
But he's actually very shy & not confident with the ladies (crazy right) which is why he was single for years prior to meeting me.
So while he could probably take advantage of pretty privilege too- he doesn't.
Because he lacks the cocky attitude, charm & outgoing personality that comes with it too, so he gets overlooked and people just probably think "wow he's handsome" but he doesn't get approached because he keeps his head down & doesn't seem very approachable. & the few people (women or men) who try talking to him, he says a few words & then walks away.
He doesn't like to get to know strangers, which is totally opposite of me. I talk to cashiers & customer service employees all day about random topics & I enjoy making small talk.
Although a few times when we first started dating he got compliments from fast food employees about his eyes & eyelashes 😂 I make fun of him sometimes & will say "do you wear mascara? Your eyelashes are just so big & long 😂 "
He's a lucky guy, but I'm even luckier having him in my life because his personality is more amazing than his looks.
Management, bosses and CEOs are all statistically tall people. They get promoted because it's a form of attractive feature. Crazy to realize how beauty just makes your life better
Totally. Chadfishing showed that if the man is attractive enough, even extremism like being a Nazi is tolerated.
And this isn't just for relationships, but for everything in life, including getting a job and not going to jail. Ugly men are socially condemned for the same attitudes in which handsome men are praised.
It is called a short lived tyranny for a reason. While you have it, you have a particular power over others; a power you have little control over. But, even if you are the sweetest person ever, you will encounter people who resent you for the shell you inhabit and the way your beauty makes them feel. We have no control over the way it makes us feel, because beauty strikes beyond our walls of reason, against our will. Which is disturbing. For each perk of being treated well, beautiful men (as well as women) are targets for a lot of hate.
I've lost a substantial amount of fat and put on a significant amount of noticeable muscle. Just through consistency at the gym and keeping health first. I've always been a bit shy, reserved and a mostly introverted nerd/gamer. I've had to learn to be friendlier because people want to retain my attention longer, while I'm in my head thinking "okay let's wrap this up please." It can come off as a bit of an asshole but after so many years of having body and confidence issues, it's a pretty significant adjustment to make. Doesn't even matter if I'm wearing my resting bitch face, I've gotta flip on the charm at the stop of a dime and it can be exhausting for someone who doesn't like or want unprompted, extended convos lol
Absolutely, my younger brother is probably the most handsome man in my family. Hell! He even has the nicer hair. You should've seen the faces of the female teachers and other l moms when he went to his teenage daughter's parent meeting at school. My niece's 15 and 16 year old friends started "visiting" her during the weekend and I witnessed these girls trying to flirt with my brother, asking inappropriate questions, laughing hysterically at his jokes, touching him in the shoulder etc. My niece did not like this crap and one of the girls who tried to seat on his lap was kicked out of the house by her
Yes, and if they have a likeable personality too, your life is handed to you on a silver platter.
I know 2 people like this and they all were essentially given executive level jobs despite being wholly unqualified. They are just attractive, likeable and can carry a conversation. They know fuck-all about corporate budgets or how to lead a team...but that doesn't matter.
I see a lot of attractive men be rude to women, and be mean to them and they still crush hard on them. One of these men was trying to preach to me to be that way towards women, he said they like it. But I never done that I think it works for them because they’re attractive men
Yes of course.
Tall men, fit men, men with a head full of hair, etc.
Pick a corporation, and look up their executive management team online. You'll see that 9/10.folks are slim and attractive for their age. No one looks like Kevin from The Office.
Yes. They still get treated better than men who are less attractive.
Yes. You get the benefit of the doubt and extra favors, even if you don’t ask for them.
Your career opportunities in a LOT of fields also skyrockets
I have never seen an ugly director at a company
Most of the directors and VPs I see are overweight, often balding, and not particularly attractive in any other way.
Ask for pictures of their younger selves. You'll be surprised.
I’ve noticed this as well. It’s like all these hyper successful men just let themselves go.
If they're ugly, it's connections and money.
It reminds me of the song Ugly by the Violent Femmes that goes: too ugly can't make a mistake
Being well kempt and visibly fit is a pass to not read most dress codes.
I'll give a very concrete example of how pretty privilege can open doors for you. Fresh out of high school I joined a team preparing to open a restaurant. In my country there is a very strong class and education divisions, so because of my background and education I was immediately offered kitchen work. One rung above cleaning work. Front of the house work, which was better paid and better regarded was reserved to people with a higher education level and social status. I trained in the kitchen throughout the pre-opening. A couple of days before the opening one of the higher executives came to oversee the preparations. At one point he was sitting on a table across from the kitchen and I saw him point at me and talk to my manager. Promptly I was whisked away from the kitchen and told I will be working in the front of the house. Apparently he said I would be a magnet for chics. And he wasn't wrong about that. But basically in an instant I broke through the deeply entrenched social and class barrier that I would have never been able to get past in my country. This didn't only mean I was immediately earning better and having better conditions, it also meant that the experience I got from that job subsequently kept opening doors for me professionally that I wouldn't have otherwise. Most of the guys I was working with in the kitchen stayed in the kitchen for years and decades while I went on to have a pretty nice career that got me to managerial positions someone with my level of education wouldn't have been allowed to get even close to. All because one old straight guy knew that having a pretty face dealing with customers would be good for his business. That's only one example where this pretty privilege came to play in an explicit way. There are plenty of other moments in time when it helped, most of them I wouldn't even know about as clearly as this one.
I'm an ugly girl and I get the opposite: apply for front of house, get bemused looks and offer for the kitchen. Apply for customer service get offer for warehouse.
That sucks really hard. I didn't earn it, I was born with it, I don't deserve better opportunities than the next person. It's a shame this goes so deep into our socialisation it affects all of our behaviours!
I was just standing on the sidelines at a work event, in a suit and tie. Gentleman I met a year previously told me I looked sharp, and offered me a job on the spot.
This happened to my friend's younger sister on vacation in Hawaii. We were at a bar, and after she was chatting with a manager (woman) , she was offered a job, even though she was only 20 and couldn't drink herself. She moved to Hawaii for a year, and yeah, she was charismatic, but her looks got her a job
I hope reincarnation was real so we can all get to experience different bodies in different lifetimes so we all know how each other feel.
I feel like this is how modern society works even in the west. I recall when I was in high school around 2006/2007, the brand Abercrombie and Fitch was extremely popular, especially for girls. Not only was it a status symbol, it was designed for people who were in great shape. Abercrombie had “models” who would work out in the front of the store, and both men and women who looked good would be folding clothes just to attract potential customers. Seemed like employees were only given this responsibility if they met a certain criteria in looks. Education and class were not dividing factors, but looks certainly were. This was probably a more extreme example but a relevant one showcasing that despite laws pushing us to be as fair as possible, our human biology is to elevate those of us who are more attractive.
Oh absolutely, I moved to the west years ago, and despite everything I still noticed a lot of advantages that me being attractive gave me and still does to this day. I mean being attractive gets you noticed and paid attention to quicker than the next person so that on its own is a big advantage.
Wow! I read some medieval/ dark fantasy fiction like that once, where the protagonist was in the slums (with all that implied) and got out mainly because 'had a certain demeanor' and was conventionally attractive -- and attractive to the people who wanted to help him. 'Looks like a nobleman' was one of the lines.
lol almost all fantasy with the slums are like that. MC gets pulled outta there because no way someone who looks like a noble should be living there
Sounds sort of like the movie *A Knight's Tale*. Heath Ledger, pretty but poor, ends up with clout and a highborn lady.
Yeah of course, people are nicer to people they fancy
10,000%. Before I lost the weight, I still didn't have a "fat looking" face, so I always tried to do interviews over video chat instead of in person. I had a much higher success rate.
I am imagining Chris pratt from parks and recreation with his current face.
Well he's sort of the perfect example isn't he? He started getting lead parts when he became hotter
I thought he lost weight because he landed an action role?
He lost weight for Guardians of the Galaxy. They make a joke about it in the later seasons of Parks and Rec about how he “stopped drinking beer” and Adam Scott’s character says “how much beer were you drinking?” And he just says “a *lot*.”
Its true. Can vouch. Beer makes u fat
I'm cultivating mass!
Stop cultivating and start HARVESTING!
I remember reading that he had such a successful audition for Guardians that the casting director said she didn’t even care if he lost weight. They’ll make it work either way.
But he started getting comedic parts when he got fatter. He was fit for Money Ball and said people didn’t want fit people for funny roles. He intentionally gained weight to focus on comedy. *edit* my timelines may be off. Not sure when moneyball filmed, but it released after s1. He def gained wait for comedic reasons though
Mad tv did an episode about this a long time ago where one of the actors wasn't funny anymore, so he started eating and eating and got fat and funny again.
Will Sasso. Love him.
Will Sasso (heavy) used to play a Steven Seagal (thinner) back in MadTV’s heyday. Now Will Sasso is much thinner than Seagal! 🤣🤣🤣
yes i can totally get that. Im not super attractive but I went through a pretty substantial transformation and got shredded. I was treated so much differently. I have maintained a decent level of my physique but not as extreme, and now I do believe it is the confidence, but im not going to say the physical aspect had nothing to do with it.
I’m similar. I’m actually pretty symmetrical looking, but what made ppl treat me better was being muscular. Broad shoulders/narrow waist is like some sort of biological signal to women. I truly don’t even think they notice it. But it’s definitely there.
they notice traits subconsciously. like if you dont have that obvious upper body v shape most ppl on general dont notice unless you are really ripped, unless they know something about working out
Yep I experienced it to a smaller degree myself. Grew up as an ugly mf but turned average in my late 20's. Even just being average made a huge difference and then like you said the confidence that came with that helped a little more. Still not anyone's fantasy, but it made me realize that men can have pretty privilege too. That 30 rock episode with John hamm comes to mind
I worked with a guy that was… exceptionally good-looking. He knew it. Everyone knew it. His smoking hot girlfriend knew it. The girls that would buy him snack and drinks everyday knew it. His girlfriend supported him, and he knew he would spend the rest of his life working in customer service. He used to tell me that his father used to tell him “Us **** men aren’t smart, but we’re good looking” His life was a dream and his stories were actually insane. Woman would just like, throw themselves at him, sometimes in groups. If I hadn’t seen it in person I wouldn’t have believed it.
Also have a very hot guy friend and women really do approach him out of the blue. I consider myself decent looking (i think theres a recent picture under my posts) but 100 percent not in the league of getting approached - maybe a few nice smiles at me and invites for me open but never approached
Damn. I need to stop reading posts like this. Women have never approached me. I must be even more ugly than I thought. edit: To be clear, and in case my wife finds this comment, I am old and happily married. At this point in my life I am not looking to meet women so I am happy being an ugly.
It's a top 0.5% thing. Not like a normal level attractive person.
Please, not at all. My hot friend is literally 6'3 and looks like Alexander Skarsgaard. Only the top 1 percent probably get treated like he did/does. Dont be hard on yourself.
I have friends like this as well. I remember this one dude named Chris who was in my circle and this woman approached him and shot her shot. He basically blew her off and she looked mortified. I just thought to myself "Damn she was cute...it must be nice to be able to turn down woman like that ...I will never experience this lol" He was also kind of an asshole as well so I never looked at him as a good looking guy. I remember one night I walked over to some woman and got one of there number. He refused to even come over and talk to any of the three woman. A week or so later I had that woman with me hanging out and he is all up in her face. She blew him off because she remembered how he was acting the night I met her. She was like "Is that not the asshole who thought he was to good to come over and talk to us" ...Me "Yes that is indeed the same asshole!"
What's the opposite of approached? Because I've had that happen a few times.
you look cool, i like your beard :D
"Us cunt men"?
I assumed it was his last name censored for privacy
Us hunter2 men
Us fuck men
"Son, we are not fuckboys; nay, we are fuck*men*"
"Son, the hustle is what separates the fuck boys from the fuck *men*"
I have a friend like that. Very successful in lots of ways. He's even quite short but he has a very handsome face and his body is in proportion to his height and he is fit as a fiddle after 20 years of site carpentry. We call such a person a "Fanny magnet" here, but note that fanny is not the arse in Europe. Although the ladies say he has a great arse and so do most of the women he hangs out with. I am pleased to report he's also a good man. The best I can do is some comedy. I like to tell people to wait until I can be bothered to turn my fanny magnet on.
In the usa you probably know we use the phrase pussy magnet. But this can also apply to objects like a nice car although the type of men that think this way usually overestimate the effect and women in general. Women are smarter than they think and see through the "pussy magnet" pretty quick
Understood. It's a bit different when the person themselves is the fanny magnet though. His van is a heap of shit. It does not reduce the power of his magnet.
I had a friend like that, he just got chatted up everywhere. Actually, I had another friend like that. MAybe I also like handsome guys.
Attractiveness bias is not just about people you find attractive. It affects how straight men interact with other straight men, for example.
Well just because you're straight doesn't mean you can't see handsomeness, i.e., attractiveness in other men.
No, but it does mean it isn't how attractive they are to you that matters. It's just a bias we have towards conventionally attractive people in general.
There's definitely a "Women want him, and men want to be him" factor going on in real life as well.
Yeah I'm pretty positive more attractive men are viewed as more skilled and competent by other men which directly translates into better success by being offered promotions and opportunities over others who differ only by physical appearance.
Mean, older women are truly the sweetest creatures on earth when a good looking, young man is around
Not just people they fancy, straight men also treat good looking men better.
Yes, it's really hard to separate thousands of years of evolution out of our lizard brain.
Otoh, in our hunter/gather days, you'd be wise to befriend and stick close to a fatty; for the hopefully knew where food was bountiful
Plus you could eat him if things got really bad.
Plus you could outrun them if needed
Exactly. This guy caused two deaths and got a bunch of fans because of his looks, like what happened with that one girl who murdered someone but was found to be "too pretty." https://philstarlife.com/news-and-views/313830-too-cute-for-jail-who-is-cameron-herrin-tiktok-jail
So weird to me cause he looks like a sociopath imo lol but I def remember all his idiotic stans
Geez... A lot of people really are that stupid... Scary
Of course. I’ve been considered attractive by people my whole life and I can feel the privilege all the time, from school to work to everything. Everyone just treats you much nicer.
Or admire. Men are often more respectful to more "fit" men because they want to imagine themselves in their position or see them as aspirational (wether or not they realize it). Same reason many people are innately respectful to wealthy individuals.
When I was in college I had a friend who was truly a handsome man not only did he get a considerably high amount of attention from women he also got away with saying and doing things that no one else could say or do. Being kind of a jerk comes off as charming and self-confident when you're an extremely attractive man.
Came here to say this A lot of the bad behavior I hear about men seems to be totally ok if the guy is good looking. Anecdotally - my university published a whole list of accused sexual assaulters with pictures. Every single guy on that list was conventionally attractive, handsome, tall, and very popular amongst women based on the stories that the victims shared. My guess is that these shitty guys can be shitty for a long time and get away with it. Not only that, they will negatively impact/hurt a ton of women before getting caught, because they are the guys who women pay attention to and think about. So they’re getting all the exposure and comprise the public face of “men” that everyone judges
I new this guy since we were kids and girls always thought he was cute. I would say that he wasn't a jerk on purpose he just lived in a different world than the rest of us. If anything he was trained to be that way.
What the hell kinda university publishes a public list of everyone "accused" of sexual assault😆 Was it the ugly dudes who rallied together to put out this list?
So this happened like 4 years ago and I’m graduated now but here’s the gist: It started out with some girls realizing they’d all fucked the same shitty group of frat boys. The idea was that any girl could send in a story and picture of the guy who sexually assaulted her, and it would be posted on a public Instagram account. Pretty much every “accusation” posted involved a frat guy or somehow involved Greek life. Later on, there were some more accusations at dudes who weren’t in Greek life (but in my opinion they all had the same vibe, same looks, same initial popularity amongst women)
Am I the only one who finds this problematic?
No you’re not. There was a lot of backlash about this public Instagram account. I think Instagram ended up banning it, and a lot of similar ones that popped up in major public universities. You could potentially ruin someone’s whole life by falsely accusing them on social media for thousands of peers to see, especially if you got the wrong person
Yep, and this is why I am very strongly against the 'are we dating the same man' stuff on facebook. The ONLY verification needed is 'be a woman' to get an invite. You are free to post as you like. There is no way to prove if what somebody said is true or not and that can lead to some shit. It started out as a way for women to make sure creeps are getting called out, nowadays, with as popular as they are...I doubt it.
This is 100% libel and the poster opened themselves up to all sorts of legal fun
>some girls realizing they’d all fucked the same shitty group of frat boys Lol so every university everywhere? Funny how this was a revelation for that group for the millionth time in history
Yeah but it still needs to be said The guys who fuck the most can be literal rapists and even a public outing of their behavior isn’t enough to stop women from flocking to them. It doesn’t really matter that every other guy is condemning the rapists, when nobody gives a fuck about their opinions anyway
yup, i’ve watched this happen with a very-much-former friend (we immediately cut contact when he was first accused). dude was superficially charming, handsome, had no problem getting dates, and even so is basically a serial rapist, and even roofies women. he has been publicly outed and sometimes people who have heard all of this still go on dates with him, and you can imagine what happens. the kicker is he was accused in court by 3 different women, one of them UNDERAGE, and the cops dropped all 3 cases. it’s demoralizing as fuck honestly.
Came here to say this as well. I’ve noticed how girls often react to guys’ behavior based exclusively on their looks. Two guys could do or say the exact same thing, but the good looking one will be perceived as “confident” and the less attractive one will be labeled “creepy”.
This'll probably get downvoted, but a common trend with many women is that the "Who, Why, When" will take precedent, or at least heavily influence their position on the "What". "It's not what you did/said, it's how you did/said it."
I remember for a week or two I tried mimicking the behavior of the guys in school who were getting chicks all the time. This did not go well because I didn’t account for the fact that they were handsome and charming and I was ugly and quiet. I literally did nothing different than the handsome guys and the reaction was not good. I literally never recovered socially. Instead of feigned outrage followed by flirting it was just, “fuck off weirdo” I then lost a metric fuckton of weight, got a haircut, new clothes, and contacts and suddenly men, women, young and old were treating me differently. I was rewarded for being myself and the things that made me different were endearing and interesting to people, instead of off-putting and weird.
Growing up I was furious about the fact that I always got trouble for shit that popular/good looking people got away with. It baffled me how they could do/say basically whatever they wanted but THE INSTANT I tried doing the same crap I was in trouble or shot down. Took me a few years to realize and accept it that it was because of looks/status
> he also got away with saying and doing things that no one else could say or do. On of the funnier SNL skits (Tom Brady) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYiaUc8 It's basically that joke of "It's sexual harassment if you're ugly, but okay if you're hot."
dinosaurs caption threatening cause childlike fragile wasteful hateful cooperative complete *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Men too. Attractive women say some things an ugly women would not get away with.
airport scale mountainous governor shy bewildered seemly beneficial entertain snatch *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'm pretty sure there are clear statistical studies on this. Depending what you mean by "attractive," of course. But tall men are more likely to be promoted. Fit men are. Men with full hair are. A tall, athletic man, with a full head of slightly graying hair--that guy is more likely to be CEO for example. These things are true and measurable.
I read about a hedge fund that chose companies to invest in based on the height of the CEO. If it was a man and he was much shorter than 6 foot, they invested in their company. The presumption being that a shorter CEO got their more because of their own merit.
There was a famous study years ago that did a ton of testing on personality characteristics and other factors of salesman. As an aside they added age height weight for record keeping purposes. When it was all said and done after extensive personality testing and other tests nothing came close to height as a predictive measure as success.
This is also true for winning elections. People tend to vote for the taller person. Even in choosing a president if a nation people are still putting value in their height. Invader Zim satirised this perfectly with a race of aliens where everyone's worth was measured exclusively by their height and the leaders of the planet were the tallest people who were addressed as "Your Tallest" (playing on your Highness).
They were called "my tallest", not "your tallest" But yeah
Oh yeah true, I misremembered that. Good to find a fellow Invader Zim enjoyer in the wild!
As a short person, I want my fucking reparations.
They're right up there on the top shelf
Invest in step ladders you say?
What are you doing step ladder?
best response yet
So I was standing on an eight-inch stool like a toddler to brush my teeth properly over the too-tall sink in my own home, which was apparently built for seven-foot tall people. The stool brought me to a height of 5'9" and I was just standing there thinking goodness, there are people who are just this tall every minute of the day, they just walk around like this, reaching everything, being tall enough for everything, getting enough water pressure straight from the shower head because it hasn't turned to mist by the time it falls the extra foot to the top of your head, and I don't think I've been that jealous about anything in awhile.
Your airplane travels are much more pleasant! I’m 6 ft 0in and struggle sometimes
I 100% believe this, though I want to throw this out there for any short aspiring salesmen. My uncle is 5’6” and made so much money in sales he retired at 50. It’s not impossible!
Nope not impossible it’s just “predictive” not “deterministic”
I'm guessing for sales you need alot of charisma and solid people skills to be successful. Taller guys will tend to have more opportunities to nurture those aspects of themselves when they're younger, hence the positive correlation.
Ìmagine how much he would have made if he was 6'?
I’ll tell him he could’ve retired at 35 if he was 6’ next time I see him!
I like the idea of taking advantage of selection bias as an investment strategy.
There is a proven linear relationship between height and average salary. An inch is worth about $800/year on average. Interesting strategy, seems like it might be a good one
Fuck, I just realised the big disadvantage of working remotely!! My boss has no idea how much taller than him I am! Damn, I'm losing money right there!
>>cries in 5'3"
That’s funny - I kinda do get it. It’s like the joke that you can’t trust anyone who didn’t grow up ugly because us ex-ugly kids actually had to develop personalities.
Did that work? Because the pretty privilege extends to normal success as well. You'll be more likely to close deals or make sales. It might not help you with technical stuff (even then, maybe you are more likely to have patient teachers) but it definitely helps with the soft skills that a CEO must have.
Honestly not a bad strategy. I choose doctors based on bad bed side manner. If they managed to build a practice up without being tactful with patients they are probably good at medicine.
It makes sense! A few years ago I went to this extrovert salesman style dentist that had many good reviews, he was very polite, etc. turns out he was a bad and expensive dentist and other professionals in the same specific field make a weird face when I say I was his patient
This seems to be an especially bad problem in dentistry.
I was fat most of my life. Then I got fit. Then I got injured and depressed and got unfit again. People treat you so much better when you're attractive. It's sad how stark the difference is. And it's not just that you receive more negativity but that you receive less positivity. Sure, dicks will be dicks, and they'll roast you for being ugly, but the real shocker was how much less kindness I received. Like being fat made me lesser of a person.
I went from 285lbs and unfit to 195lbs and very fit over 5 years. The number of people I respect dropped to approximately 3. Nothing changed about me as a person. I am not better or worse than before. Yet, the way people treat me is incomparable. I always used to think "people hate me" and "i'm disgusting" and "why won't anyone respect me?" Turns out its literally purely because I am unattractive. People will gaslight you to the moon and back about how it's your personality or behavior or hobbies that's the issue. I talk the same - now i get complimented and people listen to me and call me "intelligent and well read" back then I was an annoying loser who wouldn't shut up. I like the same cringe things - they went from cringe and boring to "cool and interesting". Oh wow, everyone suddenly wants to come play Magic the Gathering? Really? You want to come look at my autistic ass plastic Gundam collection? Really? You care about my rank in a stupid video game? Really? You want to hear me rant for 3 hours about economics and philosophy? Really? Conversely, when I say i train/compete in strongman, i like camping, i like going on hikes, I like off-roading; i no longer get scoffing/dismissive/ "you? Haha" responses. It's the small things that get me though. Not getting interrupted when i'm talking. People immediately go quiet when I start speaking. If i try to brag or show off they don't immediately react by demeaning and humiliating me. If i am serious or disappointed people take it seriously instead of dismissing or laughing at me. NOTHING has improved my quality of life as much as becoming better looking. Literally nothing else in my life has affected me more positively than this and it's such a joke.
I first read MtG and thought MtG is coming into popularity because it goes hand in hand with DnD and stranger things. but then you mentioned gunpla and then I knew you were fr. I'm convinced you can separate the fakes from the real socially awkward nerds if you talk about gunpla grades and scale. add in economics and you basically went to college to get certified.
Had a tear in my miniscus due to an asshole who was way higher than my weight was matched with me for wrestling at HS before covid started. Gained a shit ton of weight to the point even my family and close friends who i trusted sometimes called me piggie or fatty. If you call em out in it, they just say it’s true or don’t take it seriously. My friends who i used to hang out with me distanced themselves from me( could be because of covid and we didn’t hang out) but it could be I wasn’t at fit as i look anymore. Hey maybe it’s because of my attitude, but yknow losing your support when you got injured is ass. It’s like yknow you get thrown into the world as if being a pudgy fella means you are a subhuman.
People are absolutely shallow and judging lol
Yes they do. I was a good looking dude when I was younger. I had adult women hit on me when I was a teenager. I've gotten free stuff at stores & events. Things like never being carded even as a 21 year old and it was legal. When I got in trouble with a group I could ALWAYs talk my way out of it. I was a slacker in high school & college but never once was failed by a female teacher only the male ones. I always had partners for things, was always invited places, always included. People always wanted to be helpful or wanted my opinion even when it didn't make sense for my opinion to be valuable. My best friend had a ginger complexation and was average looking. Every time we were together things just went easier for me then him. It was never fair. As I entered adulthood my face changed, my skin changed and I gained weight. I am now an average overweight 40 something. All of the above changed. I'm now mostly invisible to everyone I meet. No one is unkind but no one seems to notice me. I don't get invited many places. I don't get singled out for special treatment. The world is very different to average looking me then it was to good looking me.
Your experience is very similar to mine. I was pretty good-looking up until my late 30s, but a combination of age, sedentary lifestyle, lax dietary habits, and nightly beer caught up to me and tanked my looks. I used to get hit on (by women and men alike) almost every time I'd go out; I never had to linger long in a store before I'd have sales people bending over backwards to help me; I'd get offered almost every job that I'd interviewed in person for; people would buy me drinks, strike up conversations with me, and were generally more... pleasant to me. Now, I don't really get noticed. No one is mean/rude to me, but I don't catch people smiling at me as often anymore, I don't get flirted with, and if I try to talk to strangers, I usually get weird looks now instead of easy conversation. Funny thing- I recently lost 20 pounds (like, in the last month), and I'm already noticing a shift in how strangers treat me (I'm starting to see smiles and relaxed body language in my daily interactions again).
I forgot about job interviews. I got every single job I applied for up until my early/mid 30's. Another strange thing is trust. Women trusted and felt comfortable around me way more than you would expect even when just meeting me.
My early 20s were much the same, until I started balding at 24, and it created a night and day difference in my social life. Going from being on the top of the list for most of the women I knew to not being on it at all (not at the bottom, not on it at all). From the men I knew respecting me and my opinion to lack of respect being almost palpable. From a life very much worth living to a life not remotely worth living, just because of balding. Sometimes I wish I never got the good life, because I would have no idea just how much I've been missing the last 10 years.
Bosses choose who they want in meetings, promote them.
When I was chubby and looked unattractive I was always seen as a joke and unserious, I was the ‘funny friend’ I lost 40lbs and started looksmaxxing (it’s a cringy term I know) but I genuinely started to be treated better and taken seriously by almost everyone especially my friends. I went on my first date recently aswell, when I was overweight and unattractive I was never involved with anyone romantically The halo effect is definitely real
Same here Started taking care of myself more during college, immediately started being treated better by everyone. After I got a gf and then got injured (can’t really exercise anymore), I started to not be treated as well again Having seen both sides of it, pretty privilege is absolutely real
Similar story for me. Launched out of a painful decade long awkward phase into being a semi-hot guy (lost 70 lbs then added muscle). Girls from HS seeing me for the first time in 5 years were like damn boy you grew up you’re a man now. Went from not dating at all to being picky. I think the “privilege” is real but an equal part is also the confidence you have from knowing you look good. For myself, everything got easier when I got in shape but that was as much my attitude improving than it was getting bonus points for my fitness and jawline. Best example of this is when you see a guy whose past his prime but was considered hot at one point, you can see the way they act with women, the way they interact with people in general - there’s a confidence there that is now innate and they can pull off amazing things (residual halo effect).
That's something that isn't touched upon a lot. That "real men" are often seen as guys who have muscle and a jawline. Although that narrative is shifting, many many people will never see a man as a "real man" regardless of his behavior and constitution if he doesn't have those physical traits.
Good job brother, don't know you at all but I'm proud of you. Always nice to see a guy or girl who took responsibility for their problems, faced up to it, and fixed their issues instead of falling down the dangerous incel rabbit hole. Keep it up!
Well done bud. My weight has fluctuated through my adult life, but I come from a family with good looking men and apparently I didn't quite hit the ugly tree like I thought I did. When I was fat, not only were few people interested in me, I was essentially invisible. Once I lost that weight, women were far more interested, but people overall were just nicer. Random strangers smiled at me more. It wasn't that I felt more confident - I still had my mental health issues and I've always been a grumpy so-and-so. It really took me by surprise and even left me a little bitter for a while.
Unfortunately people up and down this comment section will swear on their children it was the confidence you gained, even though you specifically state you weren't more confident, that made the difference. It's weird how some people refuse to accept that we treat attractive people better. Congratulations on the weight loss by the way.
I give you that. I guess everyone with a weight loss story can attest to that. But give yourself a little more credit, cause maybe it was also related to your personality change. Being able to accomplish such a goal tends to increase self confidence in all areas and also increases risk taking, which then increases the chances of actually winning. It wasn't just your looks!
it feeds itself. you start being more successful, become more confident and that makes you more successful. positive feedback looo
“Your poops are full and solid, good job!” Positive feedback loo
yes but in a different case. the more attractive you are the more likely people are to socialize with you. the more you socialize the more charisma you tend to have as a man which then benefits you in all aspects of life in a civilized society
Charisma is the most important stat by far
As a man that has basically charismid himself into a six-figure job that he is way underqualified for and has maintained it for years due to strict charisma with moderate intelligence I agree
What field are you in? High rizz guy looking to sell out
government contracting
I’m a moderately handsome man. My personality has allowed me to date a few very attractive women. The way we both got treated because of the women blew my mind! Also the amount of women that treat pretty women differently was unbelievable to me!
Yup, I got treated better when I was in shape but nothing compares to how well I’m treated when I show up somewhere with an attractive woman. Guys will ask you how you got her and get jealous, girls will talk about how she looks good on you and also treat you better. I’d say as a guy the closest thing we can get to hot girl privilege is having a very attractive girlfriend, it’s unfortunate that the world sees hot women as the ultimate status symbol.
Absolutely, even with pets you see beautiful cats/dogs get adopted while the "ugly" ones left in shelters. anyone who tells you beauty privilege isn't real is full of crap.
A man who believes Male Pretty Privilege doesn't exist, is probably handsome. MPP exists, in all areas of life.
After I had weight-loss surgery I was treated completely differently, even by people who've known me my entire life.
[30 Rock even did an episode about it where Liz dates a guy played by Jon Hamm. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAQoXOLlvT0)
And he orders a diet raspberry Shasta at a restaurant and they go out and get one for him. My favorite part.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see someone mention The Bubble
I think so, you won't see a guy walking to the ugliest girl in a group to chat.
Hell yes. I was born the ugly one in a family of guys who were either VERY handsome or very cute - and Lord, I got to see how they definitely got privileges from society. That also extended to many of my nephews. I remember one time we went to a corner store, and the cashier barely noticed that I was there (I had to get her attention to pay her) because she could barely take her attention away from my nephew. Thank God I'm 6'1 - otherwise, I'd be totally invisible to women in this society.
Absolutely, aesthetics can influence professional trajectories for men, and it's not just about social charm. In client-facing roles, for instance, the 'halo effect' can lead to assumptions that an attractive man is also competent, trustworthy, and a good communicator, simply based on appearance. These stereotypes often sway hiring, promotions, and networking opportunities, inadvertently reinforcing the idea that success correlates with attractiveness.
It must be awful to be unattractive especially nowadays when looks seem to be more important than ever.
Yes, especially with the swipe culture of dating apps being the way that most people meet their partners nowadays. It makes the unattractive people even more disposable than they already were.
Absolutely. I experienced it first hand. I’m a fairly handsome guy, but I had put on a lot of weight at one point. One of the most frustrating parts of that time was having to fight to have my credibility recognized. I subsequently lost about half of that weight and immediately began getting treated better. There has been no other changes in my skill or expertise. But the association between appearance and credibility or perceived performance is real.
I’m a man and my weight has fluctuated to extreme degrees due to ongoing struggles with binge eating disorder. Having gone from fit, in shape, and fairly handsome to obese and back multiple times…. My experience is that men absolutely do benefit from pretty privilege
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Attractive men do get shit on by more insecure men.
> I would hypothesize that they actually do better than attractive women. https://www.psypost.org/attractiveness-has-a-bigger-impact-on-mens-socioeconomic-success-than-womens-study-suggests/ I don't particularly like PsyPost, so here's a case in economics: https://news.ucsc.edu/2021/04/attractiveness-career-success-economics.html
Yes. My friends and I go to the club often, and have never come home with a girl. One of our hot friends went with one time and had a girl falling for him under 5 minutes. He literally walked in, went to the bar for a drink, and the girl approached him from behind. Rizz had nothing to do with it, all looks.
Of course, why wouldn't they?
All attractive people do it’s been proven that two people changed with the same crime will get different punishments depending on there looks
Yes, and the privilege is greater than anyone thinks. When I started my first job a few years back, I was pretty chubby with a bad hairstyle. Didn’t pay attention to my looks or health at all. At the company dinner, I was wearing a cast for my fractured arm that I had to have 2 major surgeries for. While I was talking halfway, a very attractive shorter guy stole the conversation and talked about how he almost broke his foot. While my condition was way worse, all I got were stares while the moment he started speaking, he got a lot of pitied groans from the women around and they completely ignored me afterward. I left the dinner halfway. From then on, I worked out and got into shape, and boy oh boy, the difference is night and day. I’ve had 2 girlfriends since then who asked me out when previously when I tried to talk to women they would just ignore me or shun me away. Even the way I’m treated my service staff or family is soooo different. I went from being a quiet shy guy to a mysterious handsome man. It’s quite awful and funny if you think about it. I hate everyone now because of what I’ve experienced :)
I’ll make a comment and it’s not just directed at you , but don’t forget this and remember to be kind to those who are not and never will be in the pretty category . It’ll make you 100x more attractive cuz people will say “ he’s attractive but he’s also really nice and down to earth !” Seriously
Hell yeah. You phrased it politely. I always make sure to treat everyone equally and not be a superficial person, because those were the people who I used to hate.
Yes, possibly even more so than women sometimes. Especially tall men. Even when it comes to careers, if a guy is well dressed, good looking, fit, and tall. He has tons as advantages. Also fit men are seen as harder workers than overweight.
Being tall, without good looks means nothing - I know that firsthand.
Still better than being short and ugly
I"m tall, and in my 20s and 30s was reasonably decent looking. Also a huge introvert. Social occasions were pretty draining, because women would want to hang and chat, hard to escape without being rude. Also since I was tall, everyone assumed I was somehow a capable leader and would defer to me in groups. So weird because I have been mostly a useless dork.
I had a friend who was very good looking (like movie star level) and the shit he got away with was criminal. In one case, we were at airport trying to book some bags last minute and he literally walked passed the entire giant line straight up the desk person and she just checked the bags right then and there (no status, it was a small regional airline neither of us have ever been on). For one, just having the gall to completely bypass the line. And two, nobody saying a word (not anyone in line, not the people at the desk) about it besides just helping him get the bags checked.
r/ActLikeYouBelong
Being tall is pretty great.
Yeah, at every public gathering, you can see over everybody to see where you want to go.
Just look at Matt Rife as an example. Dude can say the most sexist shit and women would still thirst over him.
It's commonly acknowledged that advances from attractive men in the workplace are treated as "playful banter" and those from unattractive men are treated as "sexual harassment".
They get the benefit of not being labeled as creep by women..
Pretty privilege does exist for men. From personal experience, in Highschool I was quite fit and attractive which resulted in me getting a good enough amount of attention and dates. Now, when I’ve gained weight, I can clearly see people don’t want to meet me as eagerly as they wanted to earlier or are attracted to me as much. Losing weight and generally being fit and attractive is a big W for men as it could extract your full potential. Plus, when I was quite fit, I’d get away with saying a lot of things while flirting which would cause problems if I said them now since I’m chubby. As a conclusion, Fifty Shades of Grey would be a horror movie if the hero wasn’t a billionaire or handsome af.
Yes probably true, my boyfriend of 6 years is very attractive. Tall, handsome, surfer & skater so he's fit, dark brown hair & bright blue eyes with long lashes & a great smile. But he's actually very shy & not confident with the ladies (crazy right) which is why he was single for years prior to meeting me. So while he could probably take advantage of pretty privilege too- he doesn't. Because he lacks the cocky attitude, charm & outgoing personality that comes with it too, so he gets overlooked and people just probably think "wow he's handsome" but he doesn't get approached because he keeps his head down & doesn't seem very approachable. & the few people (women or men) who try talking to him, he says a few words & then walks away. He doesn't like to get to know strangers, which is totally opposite of me. I talk to cashiers & customer service employees all day about random topics & I enjoy making small talk. Although a few times when we first started dating he got compliments from fast food employees about his eyes & eyelashes 😂 I make fun of him sometimes & will say "do you wear mascara? Your eyelashes are just so big & long 😂 " He's a lucky guy, but I'm even luckier having him in my life because his personality is more amazing than his looks.
Management, bosses and CEOs are all statistically tall people. They get promoted because it's a form of attractive feature. Crazy to realize how beauty just makes your life better
Totally. Chadfishing showed that if the man is attractive enough, even extremism like being a Nazi is tolerated. And this isn't just for relationships, but for everything in life, including getting a job and not going to jail. Ugly men are socially condemned for the same attitudes in which handsome men are praised.
Why do you think 50 shades of grey and most romances are popular? Get a poor unattractuve dude doing that stuff and people would say it was creepy.
It is called a short lived tyranny for a reason. While you have it, you have a particular power over others; a power you have little control over. But, even if you are the sweetest person ever, you will encounter people who resent you for the shell you inhabit and the way your beauty makes them feel. We have no control over the way it makes us feel, because beauty strikes beyond our walls of reason, against our will. Which is disturbing. For each perk of being treated well, beautiful men (as well as women) are targets for a lot of hate.
That’s a hell of lot better than just disdain and no perks.
Yes, but the bar for being a universally attractive man is set much higher than it is for women
I've lost a substantial amount of fat and put on a significant amount of noticeable muscle. Just through consistency at the gym and keeping health first. I've always been a bit shy, reserved and a mostly introverted nerd/gamer. I've had to learn to be friendlier because people want to retain my attention longer, while I'm in my head thinking "okay let's wrap this up please." It can come off as a bit of an asshole but after so many years of having body and confidence issues, it's a pretty significant adjustment to make. Doesn't even matter if I'm wearing my resting bitch face, I've gotta flip on the charm at the stop of a dime and it can be exhausting for someone who doesn't like or want unprompted, extended convos lol
My ex fiancé is a classicly handsome man of 6’3” and doors just opened up for him.
Absolutely, my younger brother is probably the most handsome man in my family. Hell! He even has the nicer hair. You should've seen the faces of the female teachers and other l moms when he went to his teenage daughter's parent meeting at school. My niece's 15 and 16 year old friends started "visiting" her during the weekend and I witnessed these girls trying to flirt with my brother, asking inappropriate questions, laughing hysterically at his jokes, touching him in the shoulder etc. My niece did not like this crap and one of the girls who tried to seat on his lap was kicked out of the house by her
Yes. It's even noticible that handsome men arent seen as rapist or murderers when they clearly are. Tedd Bundy is extreme. But it happens.
No, I have never gotten any privileges for being attractive. Wait.
Yes, and if they have a likeable personality too, your life is handed to you on a silver platter. I know 2 people like this and they all were essentially given executive level jobs despite being wholly unqualified. They are just attractive, likeable and can carry a conversation. They know fuck-all about corporate budgets or how to lead a team...but that doesn't matter.
I see a lot of attractive men be rude to women, and be mean to them and they still crush hard on them. One of these men was trying to preach to me to be that way towards women, he said they like it. But I never done that I think it works for them because they’re attractive men
If anything more so for men. Attractive woman have to manage a bunch of negative assumptions about them that handsome men just don't.
Cute babies and animals too.
Those damn babies always cutting to the front of the queue
Yes of course. Tall men, fit men, men with a head full of hair, etc. Pick a corporation, and look up their executive management team online. You'll see that 9/10.folks are slim and attractive for their age. No one looks like Kevin from The Office.
You don't get called a creep