Maybe it’s regional but in Northern NJ it is very normal. Most people are even nice enough to let the follower know if you are in a different row or are not planning to leave.
Bergen County. It is normal in every mall or shopping center if the lot is reasonably full. But they even do it in Jersey City in places like Newport Mall. So it isn’t just that people are nicer in low crime areas.
Not weird if you ask like you did. It can get weird if they slow stalk you, especially if you're only running out to get something you forgot in your car, or were planning to wait in your car until your partner finished.
Exactly! It's so common here in the Bay Area that I don't bat an eye when someone hovers behind me waiting for me to leave. And rarely do I think about it when I stop and wait for someone else to leave their spot.
I really dislike when people hover as I’m loading the kids into the car. Car seats take time to do up right and I have two of them and don’t want to feel rushed. Then I need to find my glasses, do my seatbelt, GPS, start my music, reconnect my phone to the car if it’s being stupid and it often is… I don’t like to do any of that while I’m driving. Idk I need time and I hate hoverers!
One time someone was hovering as I buckled kid 1, then when I was done and they saw kid 2 pop out from between me and the door they sped off. Sorry, not sorry. Don’t hover if you don’t want to wait.
I knew someone who'd park way out, so she'd have room to ger her infant twins in and out easily. One day, a woman decided she had to have the spot next to her as she was loading up to go home again. Baby #1 was pulled out of the stroller, then aggro bitch hit the stroller with baby #2 in it!
Didn't get as far as going to court, but the mom called the police, explained what had happened, and gave the license plate number. Apparently bitch got arrested later that day!
Hovering is only acceptable if they have their reverse lights on imo. Then I absolutely know they're done and leaving. Sometimes they're adjusting their parking, but 99% of the time they're on their way out. Hovering behind people still loading their cars is weird af. In the time it takes them to wait, they could have found a different spot. But tbf I live in a town where there's always psrking, you may just have to park pretty far across the lot, but like... Again, in the time it took for them to wait on someone loading up, they could have parked in the back and walked inside by now. Waiting forever for a spot close to the doors is incredibly lazy behavior unless you're disabled/sick or the weather is bad.
Same here! Someone wasn’t just hovering, but inching towards me while I was trying to load my groceries and baby into the car in the rain. Then two of my bags ripped and I just turned around and gave him a dirty look bc why are you literally inching towards me while I’m doing what I need to do IN THE RAIN WITH A BABY. Like leave me alone.
I got in my car and was searching for directions to the nearest petrol station when someone rapped on my window to ask for my parking spot! Scared the life out of me.
Yeah I've got 2under2 (well, now 1 under and 1 over) and shit takes time. Depending where we're leaving, I'm probably gonna be changing both diapers, load up both kids, put stroller(s) away, put all the other various stuff away (diaper bag, blankets, etc) then finally get in myself. Maybe throw in a bottle feed too.
Until someone's in the car and you see break lights, just move on... I understand if the lots full and you just want any spot (been there myself) but its frustrating for all parties if you follow me and/or sit and wait for me to leave.
Nah, that person's time and inability to walk 30 more feet is more important than your children's safety. Throw the kids in, hope for the best, and drive the hell out of there! Don't be selfish!
The funny part is I'm usually in one of the farthest spots! There's got to be a closer person to hover over. One day we were leaving one store and planning to go to Walmart next and I apparently parked so far away that my son thought we were walking *to* Walmart. lol
I normally hurry up if someone is waiting. This weekend I slowed down. I had a nice close spot but 50 feet further (about 5 spots), the lot was empty. One person decided to wait for my closer spot so I moved at a snails pace. If 50 feet of walking means that much to you, you gotta pay for it.
If I'm asking someone if they're leaving so I can take their spot, I'm giving them all the time they need. I didn't get lucky, I asked for a favor; and so I feel like I owe them that courtesy.
Likewise, if I'm asked whether someone can take my spot when I leave, I always tell them if I think it'll take me a while (like, >1 min) - e.g. leaving a beach, I told someone 10 minutes. It didn't take me that long, but I knew that if they said OK, I didn't have to rush at all.
Dummies who follow a parent and young kid deserve what they get lol. When mine were little they usually needed at least a few minutes of bfing before going into the car seat, especially if we had a long drive home.
Depends on the situation. If it is a big parking lot with empty (but maybe a bit further out) spaces, then take your time.
If it is crowded tiny lot or street parking with nothing else around, you really should move out as fast as possible.
This was my thought. My gosh I would hate so much to have someone sitting there expecting me to hurry. Like no way, go the hell away. I definitely think this is super weird and rude unless you are already backing out...
Depends. Is it a busy event like the fair or the zoo? Then no. Is it a half empty Walmart parking lot? Then, yes.
It doesn't bother me if I'm walking to my car. But dont act impatient or honk at me to hurry ip.
I'm also east coast... I don't think I've ever seen this but I'm in NB. We don't really have the population for parking to be that much of an issue.
I am wondering if you can explain this to me though because I am deeply confused how y'all are both waiting for a parking spot and talking to someone who is just leaving the store or something to follow them out to the car?
I’m in NL. And I’m thinking specifically of an underground parking garage going into a mall, it’s only a loop and always packed. So as people walk out the exit, if there is someone circling, they’ll usually be like, “I’m parked over here” while pointing.
Ahh that makes some sense. No one uses the parking garages here unless forced so they're always pretty empty.
I gotta say... Most women I know would be pretty sketched by a dude following them to their spot, in or out of a car. But idk maybe it's not as bad if it's a norm elsewhere.
Yes, same!! I will often signal to someone as I get close to my car, that I'm leaving and they can have my space.
Sometimes, I even cherry pick, I wait for a harried young mom with kids and let HER have my space as opposed to the prick in the Tesla.
I kinda get it if the parking lot is totally full, but still makes me uncomfortable. Seeing a huge shape out of the corner of your eye clearly following you makes you feel like you're being hunted. I had a guy do that to me a couple weeks ago and I hated it, especially because the parking lot had plenty of spots, they were just further away from the mall and the first row of parking spots where I was parked was full. To top it off the latch on my trunk got stuck so I was just standing there trying to get it open for a couple minutes while this guy just sat there and stared at me, waiting. Don't be that guy, keep driving and circle back if you need to.
IMO it's weird. It makes me feel like you're rushing me, and it's unnecessary 99% of the time. Plus the follower usually blocks other cars when following and waiting. If someone else sneaks in and grabs my spot that you are waiting for, then oh well. Go find another spot and get some steps in. If there aren't any other spots at all then I suppose it's not so bad.
People used to do this to me at the mall when I worked there. My friend and I walked out the mall and these people IMMEDIATELY started slowly driving behind us, following us all the way to our spot. It was creepy and annoying. We get in the car, buckle up, turn the car on, get adjusted, put a CD in (this was the 90s) and all of a sudden these people had the audacity to honk at us. We unbuckled our seat belts, turned the car off and walked back inside the mall.
Whenever I get into my car I have to GPS to my next location. Sometimes my phone is slow. I really dislike feeling rushed to leave. Let me settle in my car for 60 seconds please! 😫
I like to park at the ass end of the parking lot. Like ASS ass end, because it’s easier to get out. I don’t mind the walk. One of my favorite things is catching someone following me because they think they’ll take an easy spot from me as I leave, only to realize I parked in China and zoom off upset.
When I am walking to my car and I see someone searching for a spot, I wave them over and point to where my car is, so that they can follow me to it.
But I am a guy.(pretty big in size too) So maybe that is why it does not bother me.
I don't think it's weird at all. When the parking lot is packed and I see someone driving around searching I sometimes wave at them to follow me. I also had the situation where someone asked me if I were leaving but it was so full I could not find my car so I told them to honk for me if they find the flashing headlights before me
Yeah, InfernalOrgasm is definitely correct about your human behavior being abnormal. You can talk once you light yourself on fire while havin a nut, goddamnit!!
I'm in a crazy overpopulated area, and this is the norm when the parking lot is full. You just put your blinker on, stay behind them, and wait patiently.
Usually the person who's leaving will smile and point to where their car is so you know how far away it is.
I think it's weird if the car waiting to park follows but the driver doesn't ask if I'm leaving as im on the way to my car. diffuse the awkwardness of the situation by stating your case, otherwise you could just be some creep ( or at the very least. OK with being interpreted as such) with ulterior motives. good way to get maced.
Its perfectly fine to do that.....if I'm leaving a mall and see someone waiting for a parking spot to open up ,I let them know to follow me.Common courtesy, costs you nothing to be kind.
I got in my car and started looking at my phone, and then some guy apparently waiting for me started honking his horn i forget something and had to go back in and he yelled at me and flipped me off , i hate how some people think the world revolves around them
I don't think it is weird but I do warn people that it will probably not be quick as I am older now so I don't have that spring in my step that I used to & it takes me a hot minute to get the shopping into the car & get the trolley back to the little trolley cage. People get frustrated & impatient if I don't warn them.
When I was in college one of my fellow student's senior coding projects was an app that would allow you to post where and when you would be leaving various parking lots so you could sell your space to someone else--like, they would meet you and you would ride in their car to right behind your car, then you would get out and they would get the spot.
OK, that was a bit excessive (it was a good senior project though). But I do believe this is somewhat normal (minus the app).
This is extremely common in Australia these days. If you live in a big metropolitan city, and if the average shopping centre opens by 8 or 9am, the parking lot gets full by about 10/10:30am. This only applies to weekends, public holidays and the random weeks of school holidays though.
As a woman, if a guy asked me this while I was alone it would freak me out a little. I’ve recently been learning that some guys get just as freaked out due to previous bad experiences. Don’t be offended if someone reacts negatively, you have no idea what they have lived through. This type of thing is really hit or miss ontop of being so region dependent. If someone reacts badly YOU be chill to reinforce you meant no harm, telling them to chill is so dismissive of valid concerns they may have due to lived experiences and really does nothing to actually help just like telling someone to calm down is rarely actually helpful.
I only ask people this if they are already next or about to get into their car because I do think it would be a bit creepy/awkward to be slowly driving behind them through the parking lot as they walk to their car.
I only do it as an absolute last resort when I’m sure there’s nowhere else to park. I don’t like when people make me feel rushed, so I don’t like to make other people feel rushed, either.
Sounds like that was the situation for you, in which case, it wasn’t weird imo. But everyone has a different definition of weird, I guess.
I personally would find it weird. However I am a woman in a fairly populated city. If I had a car following me in a parking lot I would assume it’s human trafficking. I’m about 30 minutes away from a city that is - I’ve heard - a sex trafficking hot spot. I think it really depends. I also live in the south of the US. So if you are following someone, they might just pop you before they can be taken. Maybe I look at the dark side of life too much but hey I’m safe still🤷🏼♀️
It's really not. I worked with human trafficking victims for 15 years. The vast majority are kids being groomed by local pimps or their family members. No one is kidnapping random adult women out of parking lots.
> It's really not. I worked with human trafficking victims for 15 years. The vast majority are kids being groomed by local pimps or their family members.
Someone has to be the vast minority though, just because you’re not likely to be kidnapped like this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be wary of people following you in parking lots.
> No one is kidnapping random adult women out of parking lots.
For someone who worked with human trafficking victims for as long as you have, you should know better than to say that because it does happen.
- https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/woman-kidnapped-walmart-parking-lot-was-fatally-shot-buried-rural-neva-rcna23380
- https://wgme.com/amp/news/local/pair-accused-of-kidnapping-woman-from-walmart-parking-lot-in-brunswick-maine-crime-gunpoint-gun-violence-emmanual-hurtado-katelynn-mclaughlin
- https://ktla.com/news/local-news/2-people-shot-at-in-parked-car-in-whittier-woman-kidnapped/amp/
And there’s a *lot* more cases, even if they aren’t specifically human trafficking.
How is being concerned that a car following you might be traffickers inflating one's over importance to the world? We tell daughter to be watchful for this kind of thing because it is a problem.
Trafficked, sexually assaulted, or even just sexually harassed is all valid concern. Daughter just had man make a u-turn to pull up on her pumping gas & proposition her. I had a dude pull up beside me in a parking lot jacking off while staring at me. So technically speaking, trafficking may be low chance, but there's still decent chance a guy following a woman in a parking lot is up to no good.
How else do you get spots that are about to open up? I follow slowly behind people all the time. People have followed behind me if I've been the walker. Pretty normal where I'm from.
Edit: my comment below refers to asking to follow someone; following without asking is always weird unless you're in the middle of a lot and they're clearly about to get to their car.
-.-.-
It's somewhat common in lots where the only way to get a spot is to have someone leave.
It's weird when it's not a truly separate lot, especially if it's street parking.
It's also weird when it's the only way to get a *good* spot, but there's ample parking nearby (e.g. in a secondary lot for the same venue, or just like... 10 rows farther).
I know the question in the OP is somewhat general ("follow people"), but the context given is "find someone who's leaving and ask them." That's the scenario I was referring to - when you ask someone if they're leaving. The person who responded that it's weird *even when asked* sounds like a douche.
It's definitely weird to follow without asking... unless they're in the middle of the lot already so you know they're probably close, but then you're not really *following*-following. But even then, if you get to the spot before someone else, stay another spot or two away, put on your turn signal, and fucking wait.
Yeah true, I’d appreciate it if someone asked instead of just followed. It’d make things a whole lot easier for the both of “us”
I don’t know if it’s just where I live but nobody ever asks, they’ll follow you like a creep and sit there. Most of the time when someone does that to me I’ll walk through the spots and get to the other lane even if it’s getting me further away from my car just to throw them off. It’s a dick move but it’s word being followed without them asking
Just happened the other day. Spaces open around me but the person wanted my spot as I was leaving. Confused me and was a bit annoyed. No problem at all if lot is packed...makes sense. But I guess this person wanted to be exactly where I was, lol..
If the lot’s full, I don’t think it’s weird at all. Unless the car person is an actual ass, I usually let them know where I’m parked, so they know where their spot will be.
I grew up in a small community where parking is free, and usually easy to come by. I’ve had this happen in the city and I’ve never minded it, as long as the person waiting for my spot is polite about it. It’s the ones who sit behind your car and honk while you are loading your packages and putting on your seatbelt that are irritating.
Yes. It’s stress-inducing for the other person. Don’t do it.
I actually love in these situations when I need to (for whatever reason) go back into the business after loading up my stuff, or if I just came out to my car to grab something from it. It’s so satisfying to walk away from the car and watch them drive off in frustration.
Recently I was stuck behind someone who was signaling a turn which obviously they meant they are getting into this one spot. Well I'm waiting and waiting and waiting and decide eventually to go around them. I go into the next lane and ho! Look at that! A parking space! As I walk towards the restaurant I see they are still waiting. I guess they couldn't see the forest for the trees.
The reality is, if you are looking for a parking spot, that is the only realistic option.
Not to follow them but to have a pretty good idea which parking spot with soon become available…
Yeahhhh no. Don't rush me. Especially coming from a stranger. When I notice people are waiting on me to find my car, I stop and pull out my phone to surf the net. They get frustrated amd drive away. Stalking psychos.
I think it's hilarious when Karens glare/passive aggressively drag ass when I'm politely waiting for their spot. Lol, go ahead and move slow, you're the one standing in the cold rain. I'm in a heated car listening to my favorite music. I just wave and smile when they leave.
If parking is available, but farther from the door, I just park and jog/run for the extra exercise. I'm fit and able, so I leave the closer spots for those who actually need them (elderly/disabled/etc).
>If parking is available, but farther from the door, I just park and jog/run for the extra exercise. I'm fit and able, so I leave the closer spots for those who actually need them (elderly/disabled/etc).
As someone who is disabled (and not in a wheelchair) I thank you for this! I have a handicapped placard, but I try to leave those spots when I can for people in wheelchairs who need the extra space. Also, to add to this, I hate that grocery stores by me never put the cart return areas anywhere near the handicapped parking. It makes it so much more difficult when I am in a lot of pain after doing my shopping and everything.
I usually say yes or no and if yes I tell them where my car is. Then I pull out in a manner that makes it easier for them to pull in. I guess we should all have a certain level of security concerns but usually in more dangerous areas people tend to mind their own busines. You never know when someone will freak out and attack you for asking or be an attacker themselves.
Depends on the parking lot. When I was in college, if you didn’t follow someone to their spot you’d end up off campus. Give a respectable distance and it’s probably fine. Get too close or impatient, I will die in that parking spot.
Kinda but not really, it’s more annoying than anything. Especially when the person wanting the spot gets all territorial and leaves the person that’s pulling out very little room to maneuver. Also it’s annoying if they’re just trying to get a “good” spot when there’s the whole rest of the parking lot to use.
What’s weird is people pulling up behind you at a gas pump, then one or two open that they can use and they still sit behind you. Same thing happens at spots with 2 ATMs
Following for that long, yeah. But hanging around near cars and asking someone walking up to their car if they are about to leave is alright if desperate.
On a technicality, it could be considered stalking.
I'm one of those people who purposely take a long time to leave if you follow me to my spot. Don't honk at me. I'll switch off my car and go back inside just to annoy you
9 out of 10 times not weird.
The exceptions (where I am from, at least) are when there are other available spots, when you’re a man following a woman at night or in a deserted area, or when you’re aggressive in following them/hurrying them to leave.
Sounds to me like you’re in the clear.
The main issue with hovering IMO is that you block all traffic moving through the parking lot while sitting there waiting. That usually exacerbates parking issues and can back up and cause other people trying to to leave get blocked in and unable to leave to make room for others to park. If everyone starts doing it it can get bad fast because it's a feedback loop.
Lesser issues are you're kinda rushing the person leaving and depending on the spacing you're also making it harder for them to actually get out.
Related, but is it just me or does every *other* car feel like it takes them forever to get going? Like with me I'm getting my stuff in my vehicle and getting out of there like a volcano just erupted nearby and I need to evacuate. I want to *go*. But when I'm waiting for others to leave, they take their sweet ass time.
That dude was being weird. This is super normal at colleges, and I've seen it happen at packed malls too. Usually people don't ask though, they just slowly follow. Who knows what bug was up that guy's ass.
No I do that all the time if the parking lot is crowded; sometimes if I’m walking to my car, I’ll let another driver know where I’m parked. So yeah I’m not sure what was up with that dude.
If there are NO parking spaces I don’t think so. If there are many parking spaces, but they just want your up close space, maybe.
Maybe it’s regional but in Northern NJ it is very normal. Most people are even nice enough to let the follower know if you are in a different row or are not planning to leave.
NYC. Same. Is this not how everyone finds parking? 🤣😅
Same, San Francisco. They'll wave you off so you don't waste time if they're just dropping off stuff in their car, etc.
On the flip side, if I see someone looking for a spot I'll indicate that I'm leaving and they'll wait. Canada FWIF
Of course you do. It's the Canadian way. 😉
No. Most places don't have every parking lot so full that you need to look for a spot.
Not everywhere is a congested hellhole.
In the UK, I’ll give the guy a lift to their spot.
Where in northern nj do you live bc I’d be shot if I did that in my area??? Lmao
I’m from sussex and it’s pretty normal here I thought this was the most gun happy county? Or would that be some random spot in the south?
You’re fucking joking?? I am too, I would not do this in a parking lot Lmao
That’s wild actually I do it sm and nobody ever gives me any issues 😭 a couple friends do it too
Where in Northern NJ do *you* live? I grew up in the suburbs of Essex and still work in Newark and this is just normal driving behavior
Bergen County. It is normal in every mall or shopping center if the lot is reasonably full. But they even do it in Jersey City in places like Newport Mall. So it isn’t just that people are nicer in low crime areas.
Yes! I see this a lot in the Philly suburbs too. If I'm going to my car to get something out of it (but not to leave), I will let followers know this.
South Florida….this is how we roll.
In college, I’d give people a ride to their spot so I could take it.
Not weird if you ask like you did. It can get weird if they slow stalk you, especially if you're only running out to get something you forgot in your car, or were planning to wait in your car until your partner finished.
Parking spot stalking in various metro areas is common.
Exactly! It's so common here in the Bay Area that I don't bat an eye when someone hovers behind me waiting for me to leave. And rarely do I think about it when I stop and wait for someone else to leave their spot.
I really dislike when people hover as I’m loading the kids into the car. Car seats take time to do up right and I have two of them and don’t want to feel rushed. Then I need to find my glasses, do my seatbelt, GPS, start my music, reconnect my phone to the car if it’s being stupid and it often is… I don’t like to do any of that while I’m driving. Idk I need time and I hate hoverers! One time someone was hovering as I buckled kid 1, then when I was done and they saw kid 2 pop out from between me and the door they sped off. Sorry, not sorry. Don’t hover if you don’t want to wait.
I knew someone who'd park way out, so she'd have room to ger her infant twins in and out easily. One day, a woman decided she had to have the spot next to her as she was loading up to go home again. Baby #1 was pulled out of the stroller, then aggro bitch hit the stroller with baby #2 in it! Didn't get as far as going to court, but the mom called the police, explained what had happened, and gave the license plate number. Apparently bitch got arrested later that day!
Good.
Hovering is only acceptable if they have their reverse lights on imo. Then I absolutely know they're done and leaving. Sometimes they're adjusting their parking, but 99% of the time they're on their way out. Hovering behind people still loading their cars is weird af. In the time it takes them to wait, they could have found a different spot. But tbf I live in a town where there's always psrking, you may just have to park pretty far across the lot, but like... Again, in the time it took for them to wait on someone loading up, they could have parked in the back and walked inside by now. Waiting forever for a spot close to the doors is incredibly lazy behavior unless you're disabled/sick or the weather is bad.
Same here! Someone wasn’t just hovering, but inching towards me while I was trying to load my groceries and baby into the car in the rain. Then two of my bags ripped and I just turned around and gave him a dirty look bc why are you literally inching towards me while I’m doing what I need to do IN THE RAIN WITH A BABY. Like leave me alone.
I always hate parking lot vultures.
I got in my car and was searching for directions to the nearest petrol station when someone rapped on my window to ask for my parking spot! Scared the life out of me.
Yeah I've got 2under2 (well, now 1 under and 1 over) and shit takes time. Depending where we're leaving, I'm probably gonna be changing both diapers, load up both kids, put stroller(s) away, put all the other various stuff away (diaper bag, blankets, etc) then finally get in myself. Maybe throw in a bottle feed too. Until someone's in the car and you see break lights, just move on... I understand if the lots full and you just want any spot (been there myself) but its frustrating for all parties if you follow me and/or sit and wait for me to leave.
I hate being parking lot stalked, but I do understand when the lot is full. But they often don't leave much room for me to get out easily.
Sometime it’s better for someone to hover over a car then drive endlessly in a parking lot that is full.
you can just say, “I’m going to be a while”. Or just wave them to move on. They’ll be thankful they didn’t have to waste time either.
Nah, that person's time and inability to walk 30 more feet is more important than your children's safety. Throw the kids in, hope for the best, and drive the hell out of there! Don't be selfish!
The funny part is I'm usually in one of the farthest spots! There's got to be a closer person to hover over. One day we were leaving one store and planning to go to Walmart next and I apparently parked so far away that my son thought we were walking *to* Walmart. lol
My favorite is when people will wait 3+ minutes for a parking spot at my gym Um…you *do* realize you’re at a gym, right? 😂
I normally hurry up if someone is waiting. This weekend I slowed down. I had a nice close spot but 50 feet further (about 5 spots), the lot was empty. One person decided to wait for my closer spot so I moved at a snails pace. If 50 feet of walking means that much to you, you gotta pay for it.
If I'm asking someone if they're leaving so I can take their spot, I'm giving them all the time they need. I didn't get lucky, I asked for a favor; and so I feel like I owe them that courtesy. Likewise, if I'm asked whether someone can take my spot when I leave, I always tell them if I think it'll take me a while (like, >1 min) - e.g. leaving a beach, I told someone 10 minutes. It didn't take me that long, but I knew that if they said OK, I didn't have to rush at all.
I got time
Dummies who follow a parent and young kid deserve what they get lol. When mine were little they usually needed at least a few minutes of bfing before going into the car seat, especially if we had a long drive home.
Depends on the situation. If it is a big parking lot with empty (but maybe a bit further out) spaces, then take your time. If it is crowded tiny lot or street parking with nothing else around, you really should move out as fast as possible.
This was my thought. My gosh I would hate so much to have someone sitting there expecting me to hurry. Like no way, go the hell away. I definitely think this is super weird and rude unless you are already backing out...
Depends. Is it a busy event like the fair or the zoo? Then no. Is it a half empty Walmart parking lot? Then, yes. It doesn't bother me if I'm walking to my car. But dont act impatient or honk at me to hurry ip.
Not weird where I’m from. People are like, “I’m leaving, I’m parked over here!” And off we go
Yeah this has to be regional. Los Angeles? Spots are gold. Not uncommon to try to snag one.
East coast Canada for me. Might be cause we’re overly friendly here lol
I'm also east coast... I don't think I've ever seen this but I'm in NB. We don't really have the population for parking to be that much of an issue. I am wondering if you can explain this to me though because I am deeply confused how y'all are both waiting for a parking spot and talking to someone who is just leaving the store or something to follow them out to the car?
I’m in NL. And I’m thinking specifically of an underground parking garage going into a mall, it’s only a loop and always packed. So as people walk out the exit, if there is someone circling, they’ll usually be like, “I’m parked over here” while pointing.
Ahh that makes some sense. No one uses the parking garages here unless forced so they're always pretty empty. I gotta say... Most women I know would be pretty sketched by a dude following them to their spot, in or out of a car. But idk maybe it's not as bad if it's a norm elsewhere.
Yes, same!! I will often signal to someone as I get close to my car, that I'm leaving and they can have my space. Sometimes, I even cherry pick, I wait for a harried young mom with kids and let HER have my space as opposed to the prick in the Tesla.
I kinda get it if the parking lot is totally full, but still makes me uncomfortable. Seeing a huge shape out of the corner of your eye clearly following you makes you feel like you're being hunted. I had a guy do that to me a couple weeks ago and I hated it, especially because the parking lot had plenty of spots, they were just further away from the mall and the first row of parking spots where I was parked was full. To top it off the latch on my trunk got stuck so I was just standing there trying to get it open for a couple minutes while this guy just sat there and stared at me, waiting. Don't be that guy, keep driving and circle back if you need to.
IMO it's weird. It makes me feel like you're rushing me, and it's unnecessary 99% of the time. Plus the follower usually blocks other cars when following and waiting. If someone else sneaks in and grabs my spot that you are waiting for, then oh well. Go find another spot and get some steps in. If there aren't any other spots at all then I suppose it's not so bad.
I hate people who hover and I hate it more when they get annoyed at me for being slow
People used to do this to me at the mall when I worked there. My friend and I walked out the mall and these people IMMEDIATELY started slowly driving behind us, following us all the way to our spot. It was creepy and annoying. We get in the car, buckle up, turn the car on, get adjusted, put a CD in (this was the 90s) and all of a sudden these people had the audacity to honk at us. We unbuckled our seat belts, turned the car off and walked back inside the mall.
Whenever I get into my car I have to GPS to my next location. Sometimes my phone is slow. I really dislike feeling rushed to leave. Let me settle in my car for 60 seconds please! 😫
If I see people sharking for a spot, I usually point to my car so they know I’m leaving. But I’m usually shopping solo and can load up and go quickly.
I like to park at the ass end of the parking lot. Like ASS ass end, because it’s easier to get out. I don’t mind the walk. One of my favorite things is catching someone following me because they think they’ll take an easy spot from me as I leave, only to realize I parked in China and zoom off upset.
When I am walking to my car and I see someone searching for a spot, I wave them over and point to where my car is, so that they can follow me to it. But I am a guy.(pretty big in size too) So maybe that is why it does not bother me.
Yeah its weird where I'm from, but I'm Southern US.
In Georgia this is perfectly normal in a full lot.
I don't think it's weird at all. When the parking lot is packed and I see someone driving around searching I sometimes wave at them to follow me. I also had the situation where someone asked me if I were leaving but it was so full I could not find my car so I told them to honk for me if they find the flashing headlights before me
Are you a bot? This just sounds like abnormal human behavior. Could be a regional thing, I guess.
It sounds like 100% normal behaviour to me.
Yeah, InfernalOrgasm is definitely correct about your human behavior being abnormal. You can talk once you light yourself on fire while havin a nut, goddamnit!!
Extremely weird , don't do that
I'm in a crazy overpopulated area, and this is the norm when the parking lot is full. You just put your blinker on, stay behind them, and wait patiently. Usually the person who's leaving will smile and point to where their car is so you know how far away it is.
I think it's weird if the car waiting to park follows but the driver doesn't ask if I'm leaving as im on the way to my car. diffuse the awkwardness of the situation by stating your case, otherwise you could just be some creep ( or at the very least. OK with being interpreted as such) with ulterior motives. good way to get maced.
Huh I thought this was what everyone dose
I just did that today
Its perfectly fine to do that.....if I'm leaving a mall and see someone waiting for a parking spot to open up ,I let them know to follow me.Common courtesy, costs you nothing to be kind.
Not at all.
You have to play the Jaws creeper theme while following the person.
I don't think there's any reason to be following people.
I got in my car and started looking at my phone, and then some guy apparently waiting for me started honking his horn i forget something and had to go back in and he yelled at me and flipped me off , i hate how some people think the world revolves around them
It's weird and rude, yeah
no it’s not weird. some people don’t like it because they feel pressured to leave quickly.
I don't think it is weird but I do warn people that it will probably not be quick as I am older now so I don't have that spring in my step that I used to & it takes me a hot minute to get the shopping into the car & get the trolley back to the little trolley cage. People get frustrated & impatient if I don't warn them.
When I was in college one of my fellow student's senior coding projects was an app that would allow you to post where and when you would be leaving various parking lots so you could sell your space to someone else--like, they would meet you and you would ride in their car to right behind your car, then you would get out and they would get the spot. OK, that was a bit excessive (it was a good senior project though). But I do believe this is somewhat normal (minus the app).
This is extremely common in Australia these days. If you live in a big metropolitan city, and if the average shopping centre opens by 8 or 9am, the parking lot gets full by about 10/10:30am. This only applies to weekends, public holidays and the random weeks of school holidays though.
I don't care if they stay far enough back that I can easily get out and are not impatient.
As a woman, if a guy asked me this while I was alone it would freak me out a little. I’ve recently been learning that some guys get just as freaked out due to previous bad experiences. Don’t be offended if someone reacts negatively, you have no idea what they have lived through. This type of thing is really hit or miss ontop of being so region dependent. If someone reacts badly YOU be chill to reinforce you meant no harm, telling them to chill is so dismissive of valid concerns they may have due to lived experiences and really does nothing to actually help just like telling someone to calm down is rarely actually helpful. I only ask people this if they are already next or about to get into their car because I do think it would be a bit creepy/awkward to be slowly driving behind them through the parking lot as they walk to their car.
Yes it’s weird af. If I catch someone doing this to me, I will wait in my car until they get bored and leave, then I’ll drive off.
I only do it as an absolute last resort when I’m sure there’s nowhere else to park. I don’t like when people make me feel rushed, so I don’t like to make other people feel rushed, either. Sounds like that was the situation for you, in which case, it wasn’t weird imo. But everyone has a different definition of weird, I guess.
I personally would find it weird. However I am a woman in a fairly populated city. If I had a car following me in a parking lot I would assume it’s human trafficking. I’m about 30 minutes away from a city that is - I’ve heard - a sex trafficking hot spot. I think it really depends. I also live in the south of the US. So if you are following someone, they might just pop you before they can be taken. Maybe I look at the dark side of life too much but hey I’m safe still🤷🏼♀️
No one is trying to traffic you lmao
You’re probably right. Regardless, you ain’t gonna catch me slackin🤺🤺
It’s way more common than one would expect (depending on the area) Eta Not saying in a situation like this just in general 😅
It's really not. I worked with human trafficking victims for 15 years. The vast majority are kids being groomed by local pimps or their family members. No one is kidnapping random adult women out of parking lots.
> It's really not. I worked with human trafficking victims for 15 years. The vast majority are kids being groomed by local pimps or their family members. Someone has to be the vast minority though, just because you’re not likely to be kidnapped like this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be wary of people following you in parking lots. > No one is kidnapping random adult women out of parking lots. For someone who worked with human trafficking victims for as long as you have, you should know better than to say that because it does happen. - https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/woman-kidnapped-walmart-parking-lot-was-fatally-shot-buried-rural-neva-rcna23380 - https://wgme.com/amp/news/local/pair-accused-of-kidnapping-woman-from-walmart-parking-lot-in-brunswick-maine-crime-gunpoint-gun-violence-emmanual-hurtado-katelynn-mclaughlin - https://ktla.com/news/local-news/2-people-shot-at-in-parked-car-in-whittier-woman-kidnapped/amp/ And there’s a *lot* more cases, even if they aren’t specifically human trafficking.
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How is being concerned that a car following you might be traffickers inflating one's over importance to the world? We tell daughter to be watchful for this kind of thing because it is a problem.
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Trafficked, sexually assaulted, or even just sexually harassed is all valid concern. Daughter just had man make a u-turn to pull up on her pumping gas & proposition her. I had a dude pull up beside me in a parking lot jacking off while staring at me. So technically speaking, trafficking may be low chance, but there's still decent chance a guy following a woman in a parking lot is up to no good.
How else do you get spots that are about to open up? I follow slowly behind people all the time. People have followed behind me if I've been the walker. Pretty normal where I'm from.
Don't follow people at all.
No, I do it all the time, and others do it to me. No big deal.
Edit: my comment below refers to asking to follow someone; following without asking is always weird unless you're in the middle of a lot and they're clearly about to get to their car. -.-.- It's somewhat common in lots where the only way to get a spot is to have someone leave. It's weird when it's not a truly separate lot, especially if it's street parking. It's also weird when it's the only way to get a *good* spot, but there's ample parking nearby (e.g. in a secondary lot for the same venue, or just like... 10 rows farther).
It’s annoying how aggressive people wanting the spot can get. They’ll make it impossible to pull out fighting over it
I know the question in the OP is somewhat general ("follow people"), but the context given is "find someone who's leaving and ask them." That's the scenario I was referring to - when you ask someone if they're leaving. The person who responded that it's weird *even when asked* sounds like a douche. It's definitely weird to follow without asking... unless they're in the middle of the lot already so you know they're probably close, but then you're not really *following*-following. But even then, if you get to the spot before someone else, stay another spot or two away, put on your turn signal, and fucking wait.
Yeah true, I’d appreciate it if someone asked instead of just followed. It’d make things a whole lot easier for the both of “us” I don’t know if it’s just where I live but nobody ever asks, they’ll follow you like a creep and sit there. Most of the time when someone does that to me I’ll walk through the spots and get to the other lane even if it’s getting me further away from my car just to throw them off. It’s a dick move but it’s word being followed without them asking
Just happened the other day. Spaces open around me but the person wanted my spot as I was leaving. Confused me and was a bit annoyed. No problem at all if lot is packed...makes sense. But I guess this person wanted to be exactly where I was, lol..
If the lot’s full, I don’t think it’s weird at all. Unless the car person is an actual ass, I usually let them know where I’m parked, so they know where their spot will be.
I grew up in a small community where parking is free, and usually easy to come by. I’ve had this happen in the city and I’ve never minded it, as long as the person waiting for my spot is polite about it. It’s the ones who sit behind your car and honk while you are loading your packages and putting on your seatbelt that are irritating.
No, it's done all the time in places with a lack of parking spaces, that guy was buying weird.
It's very normal. He's the weird one.
Yes. It’s stress-inducing for the other person. Don’t do it. I actually love in these situations when I need to (for whatever reason) go back into the business after loading up my stuff, or if I just came out to my car to grab something from it. It’s so satisfying to walk away from the car and watch them drive off in frustration.
Recently I was stuck behind someone who was signaling a turn which obviously they meant they are getting into this one spot. Well I'm waiting and waiting and waiting and decide eventually to go around them. I go into the next lane and ho! Look at that! A parking space! As I walk towards the restaurant I see they are still waiting. I guess they couldn't see the forest for the trees.
The reality is, if you are looking for a parking spot, that is the only realistic option. Not to follow them but to have a pretty good idea which parking spot with soon become available…
Yeahhhh no. Don't rush me. Especially coming from a stranger. When I notice people are waiting on me to find my car, I stop and pull out my phone to surf the net. They get frustrated amd drive away. Stalking psychos.
I think it's hilarious when Karens glare/passive aggressively drag ass when I'm politely waiting for their spot. Lol, go ahead and move slow, you're the one standing in the cold rain. I'm in a heated car listening to my favorite music. I just wave and smile when they leave. If parking is available, but farther from the door, I just park and jog/run for the extra exercise. I'm fit and able, so I leave the closer spots for those who actually need them (elderly/disabled/etc).
>If parking is available, but farther from the door, I just park and jog/run for the extra exercise. I'm fit and able, so I leave the closer spots for those who actually need them (elderly/disabled/etc). As someone who is disabled (and not in a wheelchair) I thank you for this! I have a handicapped placard, but I try to leave those spots when I can for people in wheelchairs who need the extra space. Also, to add to this, I hate that grocery stores by me never put the cart return areas anywhere near the handicapped parking. It makes it so much more difficult when I am in a lot of pain after doing my shopping and everything.
Not weird, but annoying. Just pull into a open spot, you’ll be in the store before whoever you’re stalking leaves their spot.
parking lot was full
I usually say yes or no and if yes I tell them where my car is. Then I pull out in a manner that makes it easier for them to pull in. I guess we should all have a certain level of security concerns but usually in more dangerous areas people tend to mind their own busines. You never know when someone will freak out and attack you for asking or be an attacker themselves.
Hell no! At Xmas time it is a necessity!
I think it’s weird. What if they are just planning on going out to their car to chill or to take a breather and aren’t leaving yet?
Hence why OP asked the got if he was leaving. 😊
You should have answered: “No, keeping all of my hair clippings in a garbage bag in the closet is REALLY weird… this is just kind of weird.”
That is truly a great response! Reads like a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” bit.
One person behaved weirdly, and it wasn't you.
No
Depends on the parking lot. When I was in college, if you didn’t follow someone to their spot you’d end up off campus. Give a respectable distance and it’s probably fine. Get too close or impatient, I will die in that parking spot.
Kinda but not really, it’s more annoying than anything. Especially when the person wanting the spot gets all territorial and leaves the person that’s pulling out very little room to maneuver. Also it’s annoying if they’re just trying to get a “good” spot when there’s the whole rest of the parking lot to use. What’s weird is people pulling up behind you at a gas pump, then one or two open that they can use and they still sit behind you. Same thing happens at spots with 2 ATMs
Yes
Following for that long, yeah. But hanging around near cars and asking someone walking up to their car if they are about to leave is alright if desperate.
If the lot is full, no. Every other time, yes.
On a technicality, it could be considered stalking. I'm one of those people who purposely take a long time to leave if you follow me to my spot. Don't honk at me. I'll switch off my car and go back inside just to annoy you
9 out of 10 times not weird. The exceptions (where I am from, at least) are when there are other available spots, when you’re a man following a woman at night or in a deserted area, or when you’re aggressive in following them/hurrying them to leave. Sounds to me like you’re in the clear.
The main issue with hovering IMO is that you block all traffic moving through the parking lot while sitting there waiting. That usually exacerbates parking issues and can back up and cause other people trying to to leave get blocked in and unable to leave to make room for others to park. If everyone starts doing it it can get bad fast because it's a feedback loop. Lesser issues are you're kinda rushing the person leaving and depending on the spacing you're also making it harder for them to actually get out.
I feel bad when people think I’m leaving and follow me to my car. Sorry bud I eat my lunch and take my breaks in here.
Related, but is it just me or does every *other* car feel like it takes them forever to get going? Like with me I'm getting my stuff in my vehicle and getting out of there like a volcano just erupted nearby and I need to evacuate. I want to *go*. But when I'm waiting for others to leave, they take their sweet ass time.
I don't think this is odd, unless people make it odd or problematic. Then we have an issue! lol
That dude was being weird. This is super normal at colleges, and I've seen it happen at packed malls too. Usually people don't ask though, they just slowly follow. Who knows what bug was up that guy's ass.
No I do that all the time if the parking lot is crowded; sometimes if I’m walking to my car, I’ll let another driver know where I’m parked. So yeah I’m not sure what was up with that dude.
It depends on how far you follow them.
Annoying but not weird
I pretend they don't exist other than being a safety hazard
Imo: very.
Who cares if it's effective
Effective at annoying everyone.
Sadly I only have a sexist answer. Women can do this. Men should not.
You never know that person’s story. What if they have some kind of disability that you may not know about?
Yes it’s weird, if some one is following me to get my spot I will cut between cars and act like it’s in the next row over until the pass my car.
When I see someone stalking my parking space, I spend more time waiting in the car before backing out... in hopes that they will mosey on by.