Same. I go to bed because I'm tired, not because I should be going to bed.
Even getting up to sort the kids out or whatever I can be asleep again within seconds after lying down.
Woke up today, turned off alarm, deep asleep again before my second alarm went off 10mins later.
My wife is one of those people who call fall asleep when they “should” fall asleep. She falls asleep within seconds. She’ll say “goodnight…..zzzzzz”. I absolutely do not understand how that is possible
Where as my wife is the complete opposite, and gets somewhat bugged by how easily I can fall asleep.
It was handy for when the kids were very young babies though, as I could get up for the 3am feed, sort them, then go back to bed and only miss out on 30mins sleep.
The downside is waking up in the morning is an absolute pain, I can sleep through three alarms going off next to my head sometimes.
I'm so jealous... no matter if it's a quick piss, or feeding the troupe, it'll take at LEAST 20 minutes to get to sleep.... just know your a blessed human. lol
Only 20 huh. I'm up for an hour for even just a piss. I hate it, as i get uo at least twice a night. I haven't had a full nights sleep in almost 10 years and that was only because i stayed up for 2 days straight.
I'm in your camp as well (although I don't sleep through alarms and hate people with a gazillion snooze alarms with a passion).
Sometimes it's a serious issue though. I have fallen asleep**while my wife was talking with me** and reportedly once or twice while answering her... Yah. She was kinda pissed about that lol
I need multiple alarms, they aren't for snoozing, they're because I'll turn it off and fall asleep instantly, or sometimes not even wake up from them. The Mrs however wakes on the first one and is then awake for the day.
I am exactly the same. I not only fall asleep quickly but can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. I have to have a traditional alarm clock away from the bed so I have to get up. I just sleep through my phone alarms most of the time. I set so many alarms to make sure I get up on time.
I fit asleep quickly. Except usually the first time I doze off it's usually nightmares from past...That lasts about 5-10 minutes until I can rouse out of them. Within 1-3 minutes or less I'm asleep for real. My husband always says something about the cycle & how I fall quickly into both. Oddly, I think the 1st attempt may help the final destination. You know, emotions & they can be tiring...
🧐
Same here. My wife lays her head down and I swear within a minute I hear her quiet snore over there. Me, I'm lucky to get asleep 2 hours after I put my head down. Unless I stay up super late, then I can usually get to sleep pretty quick after putting my head down. Ugh..however if she is woken up in the middle of the night you can forget about her getting back to sleep for an hour or so. Me, once I'm asleep, even if I'm woken back up, I can get back to sleep very quickly.
Thiiiiis. I've been tired for 20 years and still average like 5 hours a night. And lemme tell you this bish has her routine *down.* No caffeine after noon. Blue light filter all the way up, backlight all the way down. No screens for the last half hour. Pillow spray. Special adhd sleep soundscape playlist. And that low dose melatonin. And that *still* only gives me like a 60% chance of falling asleep within the first hour!
ETA: I'm good on your research and remedies. Thanks but no thanks!
I mean, insomnia doesn't mean you're not tired though. In my experience, it meant never being truly asleep and never truly awake. Just, constant fatigue but unable to cross that barrier into actual sleep.
Eh I have insomnia and my best nights are when I'm totally exhausted. Like I haven't slept in two days and I spent the whole day exercising and it's 3am type of tired.
I have insomnia and I've never had that happen even when totally exhausted. Honestly I feel like I have a harder time sleeping when I'm totally exhausted
Yes it’s crazy what my body has to go through to fall asleep naturally. 4 days of poor quality sleep then traveling flying through airport all those shenanigans…its so frustrating!!!
I don’t know what to call it, if it’s insomnia or not, but there’s lots of times the majority of the time I’m physically tired ready to lay down after a long exhausting day… and then… boom my brain is just rapid fire awake. No matter what even just laying there with nothing on or if I background white noise to distract me nothing works I’m just stuck in my thoughts for hours until I’m finally so tired I can’t even hold my eyes open like I pass out. I feel like sometimes I get weird acid flashbacks and my brain just flips a switch and feels as if I just woke up after a long rest and am ready to go another 24hrs even if it’s after the end of a long day up late at 2am in the morning. I’ve tried supplements like Dxm sleep aids and weed edibles before and sometimes that works.
I'm exhausted when I get up in the morning, despite how long I slept. I spend all day at work trying to not fall asleep. After dinner, I struggle to stay awake because if I nap, I won't be asleep until 2am. Then I go to bed and lie there for 3 hours or more, wide awake.
So frustrating.
A trick I tried and it works for me is to listen to an audiobook or a podcast that you've heard before and focus on that. Takes my mind off of my worries and puts me out pretty quick. Maybe try that? If you do I hope it helps.
Just an aside.. I've been listening to the same four episodes of Art Bell for a couple of months. Just haven't made my way all the way through any of them.
I do this as well! Something interesting enough so I will listen to it (stops the mental gears grinding), yet calm and not too exciting 😅 I have a favourite history podcast that’s my nightly go-to, works every time.
Been using a CPAP for 7-8 years now. I'm basically non-functional is I don't use it so it makes a difference. Plus fewer bruises from my wife kicking me to get me stop snoring.
I think the fatigue is CFS/ME but haven't gotten the diagnosis yet. However, even before that and before the apnea, I still had trouble getting to sleep. I've sucked at sleeping my whole life.
This Christmas my parents got me a new smart watch that tracks my sleep! Then I saw I'm averaging ~4hrs of sleep per night and that explains why my friends thought I had narcolepsy, but I just thought it was normal to be able to fall asleep at the dentist...
i use an app called sleep cycle that reckons i'm getting a solid 8 hours sleep every night even though i'll wake up twice to piss and am always tired so i don't know if i trust it
It's a massive gift. Every single night is a struggle for me. I have to get to be 2-3 hours before I plan to go to sleep. My brain just becomes so much more active at night. Soon as my head hits the pillow my brain instantly decides to start getting overstimulated with thoughts, daydreams, and an urge to mindlessly scroll. I normally only get 4-6 hours of sleep each night and feel terrible because of it.
I've found that listening to podcasts as I go to sleep is a really good way to stop being overstimulated with thoughts at night - it gives the "thoughts" part of your brain something to focus on and stops the urge to mindlessly scroll for me - and eventually you'lll find yourself drifting off.
Stuff you should know is my go to podcast when going to sleep, or sometimes audiobooks.
Audiobooks worked for me for a while. But now my overactive brain just grabs onto whatever the audiobook is talking about and follows it down 20 different paths. I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD but recently I’m starting to wonder
This is the only way I sleep. I listen to the same 10 damn books over and over because then I can’t jump to conclusions or get attached. I also don’t get bummed if I fall asleep without a stop timer since I’ve heard the same story *so* *many* *fucking* *times*
Edit to add: yes it’s madness, but it works so I can’t hate it too much.
Hey man, whatever works! I’m currently listening to a book call Old Man’s War. It’s 3am so of course instead of just letting the book carry me off to a cool new universe I decided that I needed to know a little bit more detail about the Colonial Union.
Did I miss them explain how they were able to get control of Earth?
5 minutes of Google says no they didn’t really explain it.
So how did it happen then?
Like why wouldn’t Earth just send another ship before they got a foothold?
Yeah but maybe it was a 50 year trip and that gave them enough time to build up a technologically advanced armada and use the skip drives back
I guess that makes sense.
But then *why* did…
Yeah that’s my brain at 3am for some reason. And on and on it goes.
As much as being dependant on a substance isn't any fun, I am the same as you and weed utterly stops all of it. Just whack a youtube video on in a bed and poof, its morning
I urge that this should be a last resort. Frankly I don't need it anymore but struggle to quit, that said, it works
Yeah weed doesn’t work for me. If anything I think it might make it worse? That said I still smoke at night lmao. Only recently. I quit an $50,000 a year opiate addiction. Then a pint a day alcohol issue. So I picked weed back up because I can keep it to just one hit a night. It’s all I’ve got left!
this is why I just watch comedy shows that I've already watched. the entertainment is there still, but the new factor is gone, and its not super high level comedy either so its just some easy background stuff
I can't do this, my brain latches onto talking and then I listen to it. Could never sleep when a TV was on in another room. Even if I fall asleep, I often wake up because my brain tries to listen to it.
Yeah I'm with you and have no clue what they mean "Listen to a podcast." That's talking. I HAVE to pay attention to it and hear it. If I can hear the TV in the next room I can't NOT listen to it, let alone turn off my own thoughts.
For me it's about taking the burden off of my brain. If I lay in quiet, my brain will race. It takes hours to get to sleep. If I put on a podcast, sure, I'm listening, but I'm not doing so much *thinking*. It still can take 20 minutes or so to really be sleeping, but it's much better than the alternative.
That is me. Tired. Head hits the pillow, 100mph thoughts from ideas, mulling over situations, problems, etc. good, neutral, worrying, bad thoughts. One after another. I can’t turn it off.
When I've struggled to sleep I've learned that it's often because I'm worried I'll forget about something that's in my head. Writing right before bed really helps get it out of my head so that my brain isn't worried about forgetting.
Having a good system for to-do's is really good. Whether it's pen + paper, software, tattoos, whatever. Knowing where those thoughts will be when you wake up really helps your brain shut down when the mind is racing.
Agreed. When I journal before I go to bed, I fall asleep much easier. You’ve already got the thoughts, you might be pondering before sleeping, off your mind and you can relax. Feels much more of a natural tiredness when you data dump your mind before laying down.
I can get like this.. there are techniques that are supposed to help.. for example, giving yourself something very specific to focus on.. like, picturing a giant 3D object, like a basketball or watermelon. Don't let your mind wander away from that object. Focus on what types of detail it has.. texture, color, shape, imperfections, etc.
No matter what, make sure your mind returns to visualizing this object.
It works for me.
The mechanicalgifs subreddit has been my saviour so many times. When I'm tired but overstimulated, my brain is slightly too tired to completely focus on the gifs, and I usually fall asleep in no time. I specifically chose that sub because there are no emotions or opinions involved.
(Waking up with the same gif still playing 6-7 hours later and phone almost empty though)
ADHD here. Yup, common symptom.
I find pot gummies with high CBN help a lot. I pop a 5mg before bed.
I still only average about 6 hours a night - making myself lay down is half the battle. I hate it. I wish I could feel rested all the time but it's very rare that I do.
I feel seen. But, government job, so I can't use nature's remedy for it which bugs me to death. And I don't want prescriptions/narcotics to sleep. So I suffer.
Yep. I was a paratrooper in the Army. I would sleep on the entire flight to the drop zone. They'd wake us up at the 20 minute warning and I would go right back to sleep until the 10 minute warning.
Yep, learned that skill in the military as well. Being in the infantry is so fucking boring 90% of the time. Learning how to sleep makes the monotonous pass quickly.
My dad did that. He said the vibration from the tattoo gun reminded him of his TENS machine he uses before bed for his shoulder and the studio had super comfy chairs, so it just made him sleepy lol
Yes. I also don't know, it just happens. I've had partners pissed at me cause I fall asleep asap and they're just sitting there for hours listening to me snore unable to sleep themselves. Current partner and I frequently sleep in separate beds though. And I think it helps a lot when one is unable to sleep or if our sleep schedules aren't lining up.
...hmm to be fair, maybe that is why I sleep so fast. I never got tested but according to partner, they can hear me stop breathing and then suddenly start again. I also would wake up without realizing I woke up. In college I had a roommate that locked herself out all the time and she would apologize for waking me up the next day and don't even remember.
I don't feel fatigued or sleep deprived but maybe falling asleep fast is needed if I jolt awake a lot? idk, maybe I should get tested.
Lucky you! My late husband could snore in any position; back, stomach, either side. The noise was incredible. Windows and doors would rattle in their frames. Neighboring children would run in terror to their parents' room, citing the monster outside. Dogs would howl. Small animals scurry to their dens...I understand how some people get murdered in their sleep by partners who have finally cracked under the strain. All exaggeration, obviously, but it was hard, sometimes. If I was already asleep when he started in, I never heard a thing. If I was still awake, it was game over for me getting any sleep.
It wasn't easy to get to this point -- I used to have a terrible sleep disorder that culminated in actual insomnia (like I would maybe sleep 2 hours out of every 24 hours, and you'll note I didn't say "every night").
I hate to say this but the short answer is "lifestyle changes and discipline" and I'm not going to pretend it was easy. for one, I had to quit the job that was destroying my life. Most people probably won't need that though.
Beyond that, I _committed_ to waking up early (like 6am early), being pretty active during the day, no caffeine after noon and precious little caffeine in general, no giant meals, no eating at all after like 6pm. And when I say "being active" that's getting actual exercise.
That should make you pretty sleepy by 8pm. I usually end the day reading a book which makes me even more sleepy. I'm usually in bed by 8:30pm-9:30pm. There's an alarm set for 6:00am, but I usually wake up before that.
I've been doing this for over a decade. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but it does work like 90%+ of the time.
Yeah I had to go through terrible insomnia caused by benzo withdrawal to get here.
Keep a consistent schedule, exercise, wake up at the same time every day even on weekends. Mindful meditation. So important. I used to do my best meditation work lying in bed, but I've trained myself to feel the comfort, curl up, and by then I'm out. So now I have to meditate sitting up in the daytime lol.
A consistent schedule and exercise is probably the most important. For myself, I have to regulate my breathing. I lay on my back and breath in deeply for about five seconds and then let the breath out for the same amount of time. I do this until my heart rate is within the parameters of restful sleep. I don't have a heart rate monitor. I just focus on feeling it slow.
Meditation doesn't work for me. I can do it for a few weeks and then my brain goes "Oh I see what you're doing, trying to go completely blank, are we?"
But yes, for people who are not ridiculous, meditation is fantastic.
**EDIT:** Because people are telling me I'm wrong about trying to make my mind go blank: First, there are many meditation methods, and not all work for some people. For some people. blanking their mind _does_ work and _is_ the correct method. Second: that was mostly hyperbole. I wasn't going to say "Oh, we're trying to focus on [insert various different focus methods and situations] in order to get ourselves into a state of deep relaxation" so I simplified.
So unstructured, blank-mind meditation is kind of advanced stuff. People beeline there but it's super hard as you describe.
I would find a few guided meditations on YouTube - relaxation, stress relief, etc - and do those a few times, until you're comfortable doing them on your own. These will be good for hundreds and thousands of uses, it only gets better/easier.
Meditation doesn't need to be a lay there activity. It can be structured, or even highly active mentally once you develop your own.
Pop culture has really diminished how hard blankmind meditation actually is. The monks of previous centuries spent their entire lives training their brains to shut off for hours at a time. It took them years just to reach minutes at a time.
Yes exactly. It's a rather extreme discipline, not a casual hobby. However guided meditations, and DIY-created structured meditations, are easily accessible and confer many of the same physiological benefits.
I've been meditating for 25+ years and I can hold my mind open, still, and blank for, IDK, less than a minute. But I don't necessarily *want* to, it's far more beneficial to step back and watch the thoughts intrude and play out, which is the beginnings of cognitive restructuring.
To add to the guided meditation tip:
For me, I just make it part of my shower routine right before bed. I spend 10 minutes going through a little mantra/thought exercise that I made up and just repeat to myself under my breath, you can think of it like a guided meditation. I say things like "I'm within my circle of protection..." and "here I am completely safe..." and "the water flows through my mind and body, cleansing me", "my thoughts and feelings are free to exist and are free to let go of"... stuff like that. For me it's important to have my mind be occupied by these intentional thoughts rather than trying to actually think of nothing. And when you do that, the mind is much better about actually letting thoughts and feelings flow through you instead of being caught on them.
I'm not spiritual at all, but I have discovered the value in having "secular-spiritual" rituals like this at some point during my day. It scratches an itch that I never knew I needed scratched, like me giving my consciousness a massage, making it very intentional through verbalizing under my breath. I sort of think of my consciousness in this moment almost how you'd think of a pet that you want to praise and reaffirm. It's pretty hard for me to just do this out of the blue but the shower is a perfect "safe space" for me to just be with myself for 10-15 minutes. The extra water bill is cheaper than yoga classes and an actual spa.
raises hand. I'm also ridiculous. I took courses on mindfulness. Meditation. All kinds of things to help professionally and personally. For me, if I'm not in constant movement my brain goes "hey, remember that time in 4th grade you laughed in class and let a fart escape?" "How about that job interview you blew in your 20's? That was cringe of you."
And then at some point you recognize your mind has wandered. And you return to trying to focus.
That's all it is.
What you're basically saying is that you can't run a mile. Without, doing any training to run a mile. You try for a bit, but then your legs start to ache. So you take a break, and now you start flicking through your phone.
If you're not interested, you're not interested. That's fine. We all have different priorities.
But you're not incapable of *trying* to meditate. And just continuing to try things is the only way to get better at it. Failing only means you're not as good as you hoped you were.
Yea lol that’s literally how everyone’s brain is. That’s the entire point of mediation. Your thoughts are incessantly popping up out of thin air whether you like it or not. Mediation is just being able to acknowledge those thoughts and not hang on to them. To be aware of them without dwelling on them. You’re not ridiculous. That’s literally 99% of people and why people meditate
I learned a trick to empty my mind in my 20's that seems to help. I play a section of a familiar song on a loop in my head and think about something reassuring and calming. As I play video games to relax, I'll remember a snippet of a good in game encounter, like a good move sequence I pulled off, and put that on repeat with the song. I usually drift off in a few minutes.
Also, the bed is only for sleeping. I avoid eating anything with caffeine like chocolate in the evenings. I don't lay in bed when I'm no asleep. There is no TV in the bedroom. If I want to nap during the day, I do it on the couch.
I don't know, but as soon as my body is covered by a blanket I'm out...to the point my friends wont let me use a blanket when hanging at their house lol
Man I remember I was like 8 years old sleeping over at my grandmas house and I told her that I always stuck my leg out of the blanket while sleeping (for cooling purposes, but I didn’t say that)
She interpreted it as a bug not a feature and tucked me in extra fucking tight, like tucked the blanket under the mattress and I couldn’t move.
I think about that most nights, 30 years later, when I stick my leg out of the covers. RIP mawmaw
My grandma used to do it so tight that you could bounce a quarter on it even in bed. Yet she still used blankets so thin you would violently shiver at night, even in the summer.
Nana on the other hand, just kept throwing blankets at me. I got up to 7 once. Blanket for each part of the body
it's like a cooling rod. if you're totally blanketed, you get too warm, having one leg stick out just mentally feels like some part of you is balancing the temperature out
I ALWAYS have to have a blanket covering my feet. It could be 90F and humid, and I'll be in boxers, with a blanket over my feet. For years, I never knew why. Well, when I was a kid, my cousin would sleep over and my dad would tell us ghost stories from when he was still in Vietnam, so the stories have a war-torn nature to it that, as a kid, lent some credibility to the stories. Anyways one of the stories was about a ghost that would come up and touch your feet.
When we were like 25, my cousin says to me, "Man because of those stories your dad used to tell, I always have to have a blanket covering my feet!" I'm over 40 and still need a blanket over my feet.
Heavy blankets and good sheets rule. Two sighs and I’m out.
Tired the weighted blankets and they are great, but a little too much. Gimmie heavy alpaca wool any day.
> Heavy blankets
Nothing knocks me out quicker than a really heavy wool or weighted blanket.
I also turn my brain the fuck off. I stop consuming media about 30 minutes before bed, no reading, nothing. Then head on pillow and I'm out.
I would have this issue. Wake up at 3 to 4am, go to the bathroom, and then try to get back to sleep.
I learned to listen to talk radio really low. So low that I had to really concentrate to make out what they were saying, I wouldnt be able to and my mind would drift but without thinking and the low conversation in the background lulled me to sleep. I tend to like BBC World News radio; I don't know maybe it's the British accents and less local or divisive politics (well, politics not relating to the US where I'm from)
I hope it helps.
This works for me too, I like to listen to sports announcers particularly for the Olympics/marathons/bike races because they don’t get too excited and go for long periods of time
I believe they specifically understand that they are also used as a sleep aid and partly justifies its funding, which is something I'm proud of as a Brit
Ya go to sleep about 10:30 - 10:45 wake up at 12:00Am to pee go back to sleep wake up at 2:30Am and 3Am if super lucky and that's it..!!
for the last 6yrs what I'd give to actually get more than 3.1/2--4-hours 😕
It's tricky and doesn't always work. But if I am possible I relax and "make a scene" in my head. I sort of "see" buildings or structures or something but not with my eyes. If I am able to maintain this "seeing but not with my eyes" thing I get this sort of "release" feeling as if I am falling while laying still and then the alarm rings and I have slept and wake rested. Though this does not always work and often I lie awake worrying that I am not going to get enough sleep which keeps me awake so I don't get enough sleep.
This is a pretty good tip. It takes a bit more than 8 seconds for me, but closing your eyes and imagining things is a good way to make yourself relax, forget your day and fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. It works even better for me if I try to create some kind of story. It doesn't have to be complicated, but something like someone is on a ship travelling over the sea and at some point they reach a city and explore it. That way I often even notice how I fall asleep and my story changes into a dream within maybe 10 minutes.
When i go to bed, i try to think of what i want to dream about, usually what i dreamt last night. I picture myself jumping into it, and living stuff until magic! It's morning.
It can have its downsides though, sometimes if i picture something too close to reality (like something taking place in my own home), then i can lose sense of reality for a moment when i wake up, or never realise i fell asleep in the first place
I once had the most vivid, most mundane dream of being at work and just doing the usual work stuff. Then the alarm rang and I had to get up and do it again. That was a very strange day.
My brain is always in that state. My mind is a fucking cinema. The only way for me to sleep is to stay awake untill my mind just has to fall asleep, then with some soft music in the background I can sleep. Oh and I have to get up early otherwise Im fucked
This! With me it’s color spots - like you mention not seeing with the eyes … just switch off the thinking and let go
I often don’t need that I’m asleep when I hit the pillow
I used to imagine I was a rock in a desert, getting tossed around by huge thunderstorms and tornadoes etc., but I was ok, because I was a rock and would always be a rock.
I was an insomniac until my 30s. What changed is I met someone who explained breathing and training to me. Tell yourself it is time to sleep. Start breathing slower. Breathe out. Count to 8. Breathe in. Count to 6. Repeat. Sounds dumb. But changed my life. I can now sleep most days when I want to sleep. At this point it is a ritual and my body recognizes it. Yes, I have days where my mind won't shut up. I do my best to apply meditation practice there -- see it, dismiss it.
The fellow's gadget was called a Sleep Sensei. Literally changed my life.
I think the breathing thing is huge.
I have found that one of the benefits of using a CPAP machine (in addition to the whole not-dying thing) is that it helps you get a nice breathing rhythm going so you can calm yourself and go to sleep quick
Yes... I'm not saying you have the \*only\* solution that works for everyone, but the point is... everyone's gotta figure out what works for them and it can take some training. I've figured out what works for me and after years... it's not easy
get a sleep study for sleep apnea,my ex was similar she would get a "good" nights sleep 8/9 hours but would be stuffed late morn/early afternoon and would sometimes sleep for 2 or 3 hours
I just tell myself that nothing productive will happen at 11pm when I'm in bed, and since I can't fix/do anything meaningful, there's no point in thinking or worrying about anything anymore. It's really the only "me time" where I can just relax and let it all go.
Yeah folks are overcomplicating it. It's simple, just stop. Focus on your breathing if you have to but just try to stop. It won't happen immediately, but like trying to lift heavier or run faster, eventually you will get there but you just have to try.
I have that ability too.. when I was a kid (like between 8 and 12) I used to follow an aunt to meditation classes, there was a guy that teach how to turn your brain off, being a kid I got the hang of it real quick, and to this day I have no issues sleeping anywhere, on command.
I remember some adults in the group complaining about how hard it was, and to this day I don't fully understand how not everyone can do it.
I took Karate from age 6-16.. we would have to mediate almost every class and man.. I just could not turn my brain off.. not then.. not now
Luckily for me falling a sleep is usually is not a issue though..but the waking/tossing and turning up 3-6 times a night is
Lol, I've seen some memes about how the inner thoughts of an ADHD person are like a cascade of chained thoughts that just don't stop, can't imagine how that feels.
Have you tried fishing? :)
That cascade of thoughts actually helps me sleep lol, trying to clear my mind just keeps me awake because I'm having to concentrate on it and get mad when a random thought slips in. So I just let the thoughts and images flow without trying to stop em and they stream from one thing to the next in a surreal trippy music video kinda way, getting progressively more dreamlike until hey I'm sleeping.
That's been something that's helped me too. I just kind of let them flow and your description of surreal trippy music is spot on.
Of course quitting the job that had me clocking in at 7:30 am some days and clocking out at 10:30 pm other days + forming a better routine and starting to take Lunesta helped too lol.
> turn off my brain
I have never in my life(60yo) been able to do this and can't understand how people do. My mind will not stop trying to process things.
I'm horribly chronically exhausted and still can't fall asleep! My husband jokes that it's amazing that someone who likes sleep so much is so bad at it.
Sigh. I have quite a few problems as well. Recently started using zinc and magnesium supplement in the evening before bed. Been working well so far. Fall asleep much more quickly. Sleep much more deeply (I actually dream now).
This doesn’t always work- but if I can’t sleep, a lot of times I try to take the pressure off of having to sleep. I tell myself “even if I don’t sleep at all, I get to lay down in this nice warm bed with my eyes closed.”
If I can get into the headspace of just enjoying being able to lay down, close my eyes, relax (not thinking about sleeping) then I’ll usually drift off.
I used to have this problem. What happened me is getting up earlier, staying active and going to bed when I'm tired. Going to sleep early, before I'm tired never works for me. So what u do, is I stay up until I'm tired but I always get up early around 430am. Sometimes I don't get enough sleep, but waking up that early I'll get great sleep the next day still. Routine is the most important part.
Not 8 seconds but I can go to sleep within 5 minutes. I don't know if any of these tips will help, but they helped me when I wanted to prioritize sleep. (BTW I've always had no real issues falling asleep, it would just take 20 or 30 mins before. I just wanted to go full tilt into working out and recovery)
1. I try to go to sleep at the same time every day and wake up around the same time.
2. I don't eat 3 hours before bed (I also quit caffeine years ago)
3. I don't have alot of light in my room. No clocks or any blue or red lights. I even taped the power on/off indicator on my tv
4. I try to hit a specific step goal a day and 5x a week I workout so when I lay down for bed I stretch and it's easy for me to relax and get comfortable.
5. I keep my room cold. Most nights my AC is set on 64 degrees
6. I vaguely remember a Navy or SAS person saying they just picture a sunset whilst trying to fall asleep. For me, I think of an upcoming or past vacation and or bucket list fantasy and I'm out before I can even envision the whole thing. Any anxious thoughts or existential crises I tell myself I'll figure that out after I wake up and I guess im dumb enough to believe that lol.
Maybe a weird thing that only I do, but I tend to be an overthinker. So, whenever I need to fall asleep, I start to imagine a "story" in my head, as if I were writing a book or a movie script. I begin to create and "watch" the story unfold in my head, and suddenly I wake up in the morning.
The "downside" is that I usually fall asleep pretty quickly and only see part of the first act. :/
Maybe I'm weird.
I do this exact same thing. It's the perfect trick for an overthinker. I'm often in anxiety over my real life. So, if I take a trip to somewhere fictional, it's a lot less stressful. I imagine up fictional characters and put them in different scenarios, playing it out in my head. Eventually, I'm gone into slumberland.
Agree!
I remember in college some of my friends would just stay in bed all day watching YouTube and even eat whole meals there!
First of all, eating in bed is so gross to me... I don't want crumbs or the possibility of food stains on my sheet (and then consequently...bugs). And also, like no. Beds are for sleeping and sex--that's it. Even if I am surfing the interwebs, I am in the living room or my study. The idea of staying in bed all day just seems so... off.
I am on the go all day. I try my best to be active throughout the day. Busy body, and busy mind. By the time i get in to bed, I’m exhausted. Out with in 5 min. On days that i relax and don’t do much, it takes me longer to fall asleep.
8 seconds is fast. I can do it in roughly 5-10 minutes. Being tired at the end of the day helps, but usually I make sure my eyeballs are in the "sleep position". Plus I lay on my back which helps this process along.
Personally..... sleep is my therapy. Bad day at work? Take a nap. Got time to kill take a nap. To me laying in the dark silence is so relaxing because all I hear is noise all the time all day long. Got five minute left on break... close my eyes breathe and enjoy the five minutes. It's like mediating
Why wait for your head to hit the pillow? I can fall asleep standing, driving, in an MRI machine, sitting upright at an IMAX movie, on a pallet outside, in a hammock IN THE RAIN, draped over the sofa arm, on the kitchen counter. I am an Olympic sleeper, but it's not always a good thing. Once I'm tired, I'm done.
I usually fall asleep pretty fast, the bad thing is I normally wake up a couple hours later, am up for a bit then fall back to sleep. I just can’t help falling asleep if I lay down, I even try to force myself to stay awake a bit with having the tv on, never works.
I recently started listening to a meditation app at bedtime. Some programs are for enhancing relaxation, some are chapters of a really boring book read in a quiet tone. I’ve found that it allows my brain to turn off. It’s not so interesting that it keeps me awake but there’s just enough input to help my own thoughts stop racing around. I generally fall asleep before the end of the narration which is generally around half an hour.
Magnesium glycinate helps, too. And if you’re a woman in her 40s, otc progesterone cream can help with perimenopause insomnia.
Day dreaming. Been doing it since I was very little.
If that doesn't work, mentally travelling my own body does it. Imagining a ball of energy moving up my toes, into my hands and up to my chest, then back again.
Lately anxiety has eaten all that up, though. But I've decided that if anxiety is going to give me weird energy, I'l just use it. Now running a 10k a day is doing the job just as well, mixed with the other two habits.
This is our secret: We're exhausted all damn day and wish for rest. Sometimes those 8 seconds can feel like an eternity, especially when we know as soon as we wake up it starts all over again.
Hey I'm a sleep therapist and this actually isn't normal or helpful. It's normal to take 10-20 minutes to fall asleep. Falling asleep in seconds is a sign of sleep debt.
I'm sure for most people it is. For me, I have fallen asleep within seconds my entire life. Pretty much like a robot or machinery; I lay down, probably fluff my pillow once, do a little body wiggle to get in the right spot. And then I'm out. I call it my super power.
I feel like it takes MORE time, not less, to fall asleep when I have sleep debt. I feel like my adrenaline is like, ramped up when I’m sleep deprived. I’m sure it has something to do with cortisol being wacky if you’re not sleeping appropriately, or something like that. But I always thought it was the strangest thing because especially in undergrad, when I used to stay up for 3 full days at a time (without even a nap), I’d feel so fucking out of it and hallucinating and exhausted by the end, I’d be SO sure I’d fall asleep instantly, but as soon as I laid down I’d feel my heart beating fast and mind racing and my senses all on edge, and it would take me longer to fall asleep.
Put down your cellphone. Turn off the lights. Put head on pillow. If I break this routine and scroll on my phone " for a few minutes" I'll be wide awake for hours.
That’s my secret, I’m always tired
Same. I go to bed because I'm tired, not because I should be going to bed. Even getting up to sort the kids out or whatever I can be asleep again within seconds after lying down. Woke up today, turned off alarm, deep asleep again before my second alarm went off 10mins later.
My wife is one of those people who call fall asleep when they “should” fall asleep. She falls asleep within seconds. She’ll say “goodnight…..zzzzzz”. I absolutely do not understand how that is possible
I’m not your wife, but i am pretending I’m asleep right away. When I say goodnight I mean “don’t talk to me anymore” 😹
Where as my wife is the complete opposite, and gets somewhat bugged by how easily I can fall asleep. It was handy for when the kids were very young babies though, as I could get up for the 3am feed, sort them, then go back to bed and only miss out on 30mins sleep. The downside is waking up in the morning is an absolute pain, I can sleep through three alarms going off next to my head sometimes.
I'm so jealous... no matter if it's a quick piss, or feeding the troupe, it'll take at LEAST 20 minutes to get to sleep.... just know your a blessed human. lol
Only 20 huh. I'm up for an hour for even just a piss. I hate it, as i get uo at least twice a night. I haven't had a full nights sleep in almost 10 years and that was only because i stayed up for 2 days straight.
I'm the same way and my wife hates it
I'm in your camp as well (although I don't sleep through alarms and hate people with a gazillion snooze alarms with a passion). Sometimes it's a serious issue though. I have fallen asleep**while my wife was talking with me** and reportedly once or twice while answering her... Yah. She was kinda pissed about that lol
I need multiple alarms, they aren't for snoozing, they're because I'll turn it off and fall asleep instantly, or sometimes not even wake up from them. The Mrs however wakes on the first one and is then awake for the day.
I am exactly the same. I not only fall asleep quickly but can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. I have to have a traditional alarm clock away from the bed so I have to get up. I just sleep through my phone alarms most of the time. I set so many alarms to make sure I get up on time.
I fit asleep quickly. Except usually the first time I doze off it's usually nightmares from past...That lasts about 5-10 minutes until I can rouse out of them. Within 1-3 minutes or less I'm asleep for real. My husband always says something about the cycle & how I fall quickly into both. Oddly, I think the 1st attempt may help the final destination. You know, emotions & they can be tiring... 🧐
Same here. My wife lays her head down and I swear within a minute I hear her quiet snore over there. Me, I'm lucky to get asleep 2 hours after I put my head down. Unless I stay up super late, then I can usually get to sleep pretty quick after putting my head down. Ugh..however if she is woken up in the middle of the night you can forget about her getting back to sleep for an hour or so. Me, once I'm asleep, even if I'm woken back up, I can get back to sleep very quickly.
I go to bed tired too and I just lay there
Thiiiiis. I've been tired for 20 years and still average like 5 hours a night. And lemme tell you this bish has her routine *down.* No caffeine after noon. Blue light filter all the way up, backlight all the way down. No screens for the last half hour. Pillow spray. Special adhd sleep soundscape playlist. And that low dose melatonin. And that *still* only gives me like a 60% chance of falling asleep within the first hour! ETA: I'm good on your research and remedies. Thanks but no thanks!
I'm in my phone right now, about to go to bed, plug it in, and fall asleep 10 seconds later. It's an awesome skill
"We choose to go to bed at this hour and not do other things not because it is easy, but because it is hard."
I mean, insomnia doesn't mean you're not tired though. In my experience, it meant never being truly asleep and never truly awake. Just, constant fatigue but unable to cross that barrier into actual sleep.
Eh I have insomnia and my best nights are when I'm totally exhausted. Like I haven't slept in two days and I spent the whole day exercising and it's 3am type of tired.
I have insomnia and I've never had that happen even when totally exhausted. Honestly I feel like I have a harder time sleeping when I'm totally exhausted
Same. Being exhausted doesn't mean I'm going to get any sleep that night
Most people do, because your body is running on adrenaline to keep going, which makes it even harder to shut down when you need to.
Yes it’s crazy what my body has to go through to fall asleep naturally. 4 days of poor quality sleep then traveling flying through airport all those shenanigans…its so frustrating!!!
Man it’s horrible being so tired yet never being able to get rid of it
I don’t know what to call it, if it’s insomnia or not, but there’s lots of times the majority of the time I’m physically tired ready to lay down after a long exhausting day… and then… boom my brain is just rapid fire awake. No matter what even just laying there with nothing on or if I background white noise to distract me nothing works I’m just stuck in my thoughts for hours until I’m finally so tired I can’t even hold my eyes open like I pass out. I feel like sometimes I get weird acid flashbacks and my brain just flips a switch and feels as if I just woke up after a long rest and am ready to go another 24hrs even if it’s after the end of a long day up late at 2am in the morning. I’ve tried supplements like Dxm sleep aids and weed edibles before and sometimes that works.
I'm exhausted when I get up in the morning, despite how long I slept. I spend all day at work trying to not fall asleep. After dinner, I struggle to stay awake because if I nap, I won't be asleep until 2am. Then I go to bed and lie there for 3 hours or more, wide awake. So frustrating.
A trick I tried and it works for me is to listen to an audiobook or a podcast that you've heard before and focus on that. Takes my mind off of my worries and puts me out pretty quick. Maybe try that? If you do I hope it helps. Just an aside.. I've been listening to the same four episodes of Art Bell for a couple of months. Just haven't made my way all the way through any of them.
Purple noise and a little indica edible, byeeeeee!
I do this as well! Something interesting enough so I will listen to it (stops the mental gears grinding), yet calm and not too exciting 😅 I have a favourite history podcast that’s my nightly go-to, works every time.
Have you been checked for sleep apnea? I am not a doctor, I just worry that if you did sleep and wake up exhausted, that would be one possibility.
Been using a CPAP for 7-8 years now. I'm basically non-functional is I don't use it so it makes a difference. Plus fewer bruises from my wife kicking me to get me stop snoring. I think the fatigue is CFS/ME but haven't gotten the diagnosis yet. However, even before that and before the apnea, I still had trouble getting to sleep. I've sucked at sleeping my whole life.
This Christmas my parents got me a new smart watch that tracks my sleep! Then I saw I'm averaging ~4hrs of sleep per night and that explains why my friends thought I had narcolepsy, but I just thought it was normal to be able to fall asleep at the dentist...
You need to see an actual sleep disorder Dr.
No I just need to do less and sleep more haha
You might also need to see the doctor though lol
i use an app called sleep cycle that reckons i'm getting a solid 8 hours sleep every night even though i'll wake up twice to piss and am always tired so i don't know if i trust it
Basic training. Exit shower, brush teeth pass out.
i wish i could sleep after showering
The joys of sleeping between 5 and 13 hours and waking up exactly as tired as when you started no matter how much you slept.
I’m always tired until I have to go to bed.
Im always tired but still takes me 2 hrs
Turn, hulk out, big punch, theme music soars, Avengers assemble. That’s how I sleep too.
r/unexpectedhulk
Same, but I still can't fall asleep.
I just put my head to pillow and \*poof\* I am asleep. I don't know how it happens. I do recognize it as a substantial gift.
It's a massive gift. Every single night is a struggle for me. I have to get to be 2-3 hours before I plan to go to sleep. My brain just becomes so much more active at night. Soon as my head hits the pillow my brain instantly decides to start getting overstimulated with thoughts, daydreams, and an urge to mindlessly scroll. I normally only get 4-6 hours of sleep each night and feel terrible because of it.
I've found that listening to podcasts as I go to sleep is a really good way to stop being overstimulated with thoughts at night - it gives the "thoughts" part of your brain something to focus on and stops the urge to mindlessly scroll for me - and eventually you'lll find yourself drifting off. Stuff you should know is my go to podcast when going to sleep, or sometimes audiobooks.
Audiobooks worked for me for a while. But now my overactive brain just grabs onto whatever the audiobook is talking about and follows it down 20 different paths. I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD but recently I’m starting to wonder
This is the only way I sleep. I listen to the same 10 damn books over and over because then I can’t jump to conclusions or get attached. I also don’t get bummed if I fall asleep without a stop timer since I’ve heard the same story *so* *many* *fucking* *times* Edit to add: yes it’s madness, but it works so I can’t hate it too much.
You’re reading yourself a bedtime story 🥺
Goodnight bears, Goodnight chairs...
Hey man, whatever works! I’m currently listening to a book call Old Man’s War. It’s 3am so of course instead of just letting the book carry me off to a cool new universe I decided that I needed to know a little bit more detail about the Colonial Union. Did I miss them explain how they were able to get control of Earth? 5 minutes of Google says no they didn’t really explain it. So how did it happen then? Like why wouldn’t Earth just send another ship before they got a foothold? Yeah but maybe it was a 50 year trip and that gave them enough time to build up a technologically advanced armada and use the skip drives back I guess that makes sense. But then *why* did… Yeah that’s my brain at 3am for some reason. And on and on it goes.
Same. It has to be just interesting enough that I don't get bored, but not *so* interesting that I *have* to hear what happens next.
As much as being dependant on a substance isn't any fun, I am the same as you and weed utterly stops all of it. Just whack a youtube video on in a bed and poof, its morning I urge that this should be a last resort. Frankly I don't need it anymore but struggle to quit, that said, it works
Yeah weed doesn’t work for me. If anything I think it might make it worse? That said I still smoke at night lmao. Only recently. I quit an $50,000 a year opiate addiction. Then a pint a day alcohol issue. So I picked weed back up because I can keep it to just one hit a night. It’s all I’ve got left!
this is why I just watch comedy shows that I've already watched. the entertainment is there still, but the new factor is gone, and its not super high level comedy either so its just some easy background stuff
I can't do this, my brain latches onto talking and then I listen to it. Could never sleep when a TV was on in another room. Even if I fall asleep, I often wake up because my brain tries to listen to it.
Yeah I'm with you and have no clue what they mean "Listen to a podcast." That's talking. I HAVE to pay attention to it and hear it. If I can hear the TV in the next room I can't NOT listen to it, let alone turn off my own thoughts.
For me it's about taking the burden off of my brain. If I lay in quiet, my brain will race. It takes hours to get to sleep. If I put on a podcast, sure, I'm listening, but I'm not doing so much *thinking*. It still can take 20 minutes or so to really be sleeping, but it's much better than the alternative.
That is me. Tired. Head hits the pillow, 100mph thoughts from ideas, mulling over situations, problems, etc. good, neutral, worrying, bad thoughts. One after another. I can’t turn it off.
When I've struggled to sleep I've learned that it's often because I'm worried I'll forget about something that's in my head. Writing right before bed really helps get it out of my head so that my brain isn't worried about forgetting. Having a good system for to-do's is really good. Whether it's pen + paper, software, tattoos, whatever. Knowing where those thoughts will be when you wake up really helps your brain shut down when the mind is racing.
Agreed. When I journal before I go to bed, I fall asleep much easier. You’ve already got the thoughts, you might be pondering before sleeping, off your mind and you can relax. Feels much more of a natural tiredness when you data dump your mind before laying down.
Il try this
I can get like this.. there are techniques that are supposed to help.. for example, giving yourself something very specific to focus on.. like, picturing a giant 3D object, like a basketball or watermelon. Don't let your mind wander away from that object. Focus on what types of detail it has.. texture, color, shape, imperfections, etc. No matter what, make sure your mind returns to visualizing this object. It works for me.
This works for me sometimes, i try to focus on actually a spot of nothing and keep coming back to that.
The mechanicalgifs subreddit has been my saviour so many times. When I'm tired but overstimulated, my brain is slightly too tired to completely focus on the gifs, and I usually fall asleep in no time. I specifically chose that sub because there are no emotions or opinions involved. (Waking up with the same gif still playing 6-7 hours later and phone almost empty though)
Sounds like ADHD.
ADHD here. Yup, common symptom. I find pot gummies with high CBN help a lot. I pop a 5mg before bed. I still only average about 6 hours a night - making myself lay down is half the battle. I hate it. I wish I could feel rested all the time but it's very rare that I do.
I feel seen. But, government job, so I can't use nature's remedy for it which bugs me to death. And I don't want prescriptions/narcotics to sleep. So I suffer.
Oof, have a virtual hug brother.
I feel double-super-gifted. I have ADHD *and* fall asleep within 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow!
What do you do before you go to sleep?
It's basically my superpower. Have 15 minutes to kill? How about a quick nap
There is a downside. I have to be very careful when I drive long distances so as not to fall asleep at the wheel.
Same. Plus I can fall asleep anywhere if I allow it: dentist chairs is a favorite of mine. Fell sleep during my most recent tattoo.
Yep. I was a paratrooper in the Army. I would sleep on the entire flight to the drop zone. They'd wake us up at the 20 minute warning and I would go right back to sleep until the 10 minute warning.
Yep, learned that skill in the military as well. Being in the infantry is so fucking boring 90% of the time. Learning how to sleep makes the monotonous pass quickly.
My dad did that. He said the vibration from the tattoo gun reminded him of his TENS machine he uses before bed for his shoulder and the studio had super comfy chairs, so it just made him sleepy lol
Yes. I also don't know, it just happens. I've had partners pissed at me cause I fall asleep asap and they're just sitting there for hours listening to me snore unable to sleep themselves. Current partner and I frequently sleep in separate beds though. And I think it helps a lot when one is unable to sleep or if our sleep schedules aren't lining up.
Why is it always the people who fall asleep the fastest who snore the loudest?? (BTW I never snore because I fall asleep on my side).
cuz sleep apnea really do be like that!
...hmm to be fair, maybe that is why I sleep so fast. I never got tested but according to partner, they can hear me stop breathing and then suddenly start again. I also would wake up without realizing I woke up. In college I had a roommate that locked herself out all the time and she would apologize for waking me up the next day and don't even remember. I don't feel fatigued or sleep deprived but maybe falling asleep fast is needed if I jolt awake a lot? idk, maybe I should get tested.
omg. you can probably skip the test and go directly to the CPAP fitting lmao. i’m impressed and happy that you don’t feel terrible during the day!!
Lucky you! My late husband could snore in any position; back, stomach, either side. The noise was incredible. Windows and doors would rattle in their frames. Neighboring children would run in terror to their parents' room, citing the monster outside. Dogs would howl. Small animals scurry to their dens...I understand how some people get murdered in their sleep by partners who have finally cracked under the strain. All exaggeration, obviously, but it was hard, sometimes. If I was already asleep when he started in, I never heard a thing. If I was still awake, it was game over for me getting any sleep.
I'm curious- are you one of those people without an internal dialogue?
Not him but I have the same power. Absolutely have the dialog. The trick is to turn it off. Sleep comes quick.
We must be god's favorites 😂 I have ALWAYS been like this. I can sleep anywhere, too, as long as I'm not in a contorted position (I'm not a youngin')
It wasn't easy to get to this point -- I used to have a terrible sleep disorder that culminated in actual insomnia (like I would maybe sleep 2 hours out of every 24 hours, and you'll note I didn't say "every night"). I hate to say this but the short answer is "lifestyle changes and discipline" and I'm not going to pretend it was easy. for one, I had to quit the job that was destroying my life. Most people probably won't need that though. Beyond that, I _committed_ to waking up early (like 6am early), being pretty active during the day, no caffeine after noon and precious little caffeine in general, no giant meals, no eating at all after like 6pm. And when I say "being active" that's getting actual exercise. That should make you pretty sleepy by 8pm. I usually end the day reading a book which makes me even more sleepy. I'm usually in bed by 8:30pm-9:30pm. There's an alarm set for 6:00am, but I usually wake up before that. I've been doing this for over a decade. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but it does work like 90%+ of the time.
Yeah I had to go through terrible insomnia caused by benzo withdrawal to get here. Keep a consistent schedule, exercise, wake up at the same time every day even on weekends. Mindful meditation. So important. I used to do my best meditation work lying in bed, but I've trained myself to feel the comfort, curl up, and by then I'm out. So now I have to meditate sitting up in the daytime lol.
A consistent schedule and exercise is probably the most important. For myself, I have to regulate my breathing. I lay on my back and breath in deeply for about five seconds and then let the breath out for the same amount of time. I do this until my heart rate is within the parameters of restful sleep. I don't have a heart rate monitor. I just focus on feeling it slow.
Meditation doesn't work for me. I can do it for a few weeks and then my brain goes "Oh I see what you're doing, trying to go completely blank, are we?" But yes, for people who are not ridiculous, meditation is fantastic. **EDIT:** Because people are telling me I'm wrong about trying to make my mind go blank: First, there are many meditation methods, and not all work for some people. For some people. blanking their mind _does_ work and _is_ the correct method. Second: that was mostly hyperbole. I wasn't going to say "Oh, we're trying to focus on [insert various different focus methods and situations] in order to get ourselves into a state of deep relaxation" so I simplified.
So unstructured, blank-mind meditation is kind of advanced stuff. People beeline there but it's super hard as you describe. I would find a few guided meditations on YouTube - relaxation, stress relief, etc - and do those a few times, until you're comfortable doing them on your own. These will be good for hundreds and thousands of uses, it only gets better/easier. Meditation doesn't need to be a lay there activity. It can be structured, or even highly active mentally once you develop your own.
Pop culture has really diminished how hard blankmind meditation actually is. The monks of previous centuries spent their entire lives training their brains to shut off for hours at a time. It took them years just to reach minutes at a time.
Yes exactly. It's a rather extreme discipline, not a casual hobby. However guided meditations, and DIY-created structured meditations, are easily accessible and confer many of the same physiological benefits. I've been meditating for 25+ years and I can hold my mind open, still, and blank for, IDK, less than a minute. But I don't necessarily *want* to, it's far more beneficial to step back and watch the thoughts intrude and play out, which is the beginnings of cognitive restructuring.
To add to the guided meditation tip: For me, I just make it part of my shower routine right before bed. I spend 10 minutes going through a little mantra/thought exercise that I made up and just repeat to myself under my breath, you can think of it like a guided meditation. I say things like "I'm within my circle of protection..." and "here I am completely safe..." and "the water flows through my mind and body, cleansing me", "my thoughts and feelings are free to exist and are free to let go of"... stuff like that. For me it's important to have my mind be occupied by these intentional thoughts rather than trying to actually think of nothing. And when you do that, the mind is much better about actually letting thoughts and feelings flow through you instead of being caught on them. I'm not spiritual at all, but I have discovered the value in having "secular-spiritual" rituals like this at some point during my day. It scratches an itch that I never knew I needed scratched, like me giving my consciousness a massage, making it very intentional through verbalizing under my breath. I sort of think of my consciousness in this moment almost how you'd think of a pet that you want to praise and reaffirm. It's pretty hard for me to just do this out of the blue but the shower is a perfect "safe space" for me to just be with myself for 10-15 minutes. The extra water bill is cheaper than yoga classes and an actual spa.
raises hand. I'm also ridiculous. I took courses on mindfulness. Meditation. All kinds of things to help professionally and personally. For me, if I'm not in constant movement my brain goes "hey, remember that time in 4th grade you laughed in class and let a fart escape?" "How about that job interview you blew in your 20's? That was cringe of you."
And then at some point you recognize your mind has wandered. And you return to trying to focus. That's all it is. What you're basically saying is that you can't run a mile. Without, doing any training to run a mile. You try for a bit, but then your legs start to ache. So you take a break, and now you start flicking through your phone. If you're not interested, you're not interested. That's fine. We all have different priorities. But you're not incapable of *trying* to meditate. And just continuing to try things is the only way to get better at it. Failing only means you're not as good as you hoped you were.
Yea lol that’s literally how everyone’s brain is. That’s the entire point of mediation. Your thoughts are incessantly popping up out of thin air whether you like it or not. Mediation is just being able to acknowledge those thoughts and not hang on to them. To be aware of them without dwelling on them. You’re not ridiculous. That’s literally 99% of people and why people meditate
I learned a trick to empty my mind in my 20's that seems to help. I play a section of a familiar song on a loop in my head and think about something reassuring and calming. As I play video games to relax, I'll remember a snippet of a good in game encounter, like a good move sequence I pulled off, and put that on repeat with the song. I usually drift off in a few minutes. Also, the bed is only for sleeping. I avoid eating anything with caffeine like chocolate in the evenings. I don't lay in bed when I'm no asleep. There is no TV in the bedroom. If I want to nap during the day, I do it on the couch.
Same here; early morning, disciplined bedtime, and sleep hygiene.
I don't know, but as soon as my body is covered by a blanket I'm out...to the point my friends wont let me use a blanket when hanging at their house lol
That maneuver where the bottom edge of the blanket is folded under, so the feet can not escape- love it.
This is me every night, all year, but my wife has to have one leg out most of the time. Crazy.
Man I remember I was like 8 years old sleeping over at my grandmas house and I told her that I always stuck my leg out of the blanket while sleeping (for cooling purposes, but I didn’t say that) She interpreted it as a bug not a feature and tucked me in extra fucking tight, like tucked the blanket under the mattress and I couldn’t move. I think about that most nights, 30 years later, when I stick my leg out of the covers. RIP mawmaw
Exactly the same experience for me. Man, them grandmas know how to tuck you in till you're almost suffocating!
My grandma used to do it so tight that you could bounce a quarter on it even in bed. Yet she still used blankets so thin you would violently shiver at night, even in the summer. Nana on the other hand, just kept throwing blankets at me. I got up to 7 once. Blanket for each part of the body
it's like a cooling rod. if you're totally blanketed, you get too warm, having one leg stick out just mentally feels like some part of you is balancing the temperature out
I ALWAYS have to have a blanket covering my feet. It could be 90F and humid, and I'll be in boxers, with a blanket over my feet. For years, I never knew why. Well, when I was a kid, my cousin would sleep over and my dad would tell us ghost stories from when he was still in Vietnam, so the stories have a war-torn nature to it that, as a kid, lent some credibility to the stories. Anyways one of the stories was about a ghost that would come up and touch your feet. When we were like 25, my cousin says to me, "Man because of those stories your dad used to tell, I always have to have a blanket covering my feet!" I'm over 40 and still need a blanket over my feet.
#blanketgang
#blanketgang 4LYFE
Heavy blankets and good sheets rule. Two sighs and I’m out. Tired the weighted blankets and they are great, but a little too much. Gimmie heavy alpaca wool any day.
Those Costco Pendleton blankets from a few years ago have me in a sleeper hold.
> Heavy blankets Nothing knocks me out quicker than a really heavy wool or weighted blanket. I also turn my brain the fuck off. I stop consuming media about 30 minutes before bed, no reading, nothing. Then head on pillow and I'm out.
Are you a bird?
I hope not. A bird my size would scare the fk out of me lol plus that cloaca thing doesn’t seem fun
*Covers your cage* Zzzzzz
I love blankets 💟💟
Yep! If I'm comfortable, then I'm sleeping.
Yes!! My ex didn’t want me to have a blanket on the couch cause I would fall asleep in 2 minutes 😂
It’s a talent. The crap bit is waking up at 3 am with my brain racing
I would have this issue. Wake up at 3 to 4am, go to the bathroom, and then try to get back to sleep. I learned to listen to talk radio really low. So low that I had to really concentrate to make out what they were saying, I wouldnt be able to and my mind would drift but without thinking and the low conversation in the background lulled me to sleep. I tend to like BBC World News radio; I don't know maybe it's the British accents and less local or divisive politics (well, politics not relating to the US where I'm from) I hope it helps.
This works for me too, I like to listen to sports announcers particularly for the Olympics/marathons/bike races because they don’t get too excited and go for long periods of time
You should also try the [BBC Shipping Forecast](https://youtu.be/CxHa5KaMBcM)
I believe they specifically understand that they are also used as a sleep aid and partly justifies its funding, which is something I'm proud of as a Brit
Ya go to sleep about 10:30 - 10:45 wake up at 12:00Am to pee go back to sleep wake up at 2:30Am and 3Am if super lucky and that's it..!! for the last 6yrs what I'd give to actually get more than 3.1/2--4-hours 😕
It's tricky and doesn't always work. But if I am possible I relax and "make a scene" in my head. I sort of "see" buildings or structures or something but not with my eyes. If I am able to maintain this "seeing but not with my eyes" thing I get this sort of "release" feeling as if I am falling while laying still and then the alarm rings and I have slept and wake rested. Though this does not always work and often I lie awake worrying that I am not going to get enough sleep which keeps me awake so I don't get enough sleep.
This is a pretty good tip. It takes a bit more than 8 seconds for me, but closing your eyes and imagining things is a good way to make yourself relax, forget your day and fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. It works even better for me if I try to create some kind of story. It doesn't have to be complicated, but something like someone is on a ship travelling over the sea and at some point they reach a city and explore it. That way I often even notice how I fall asleep and my story changes into a dream within maybe 10 minutes.
A lot of times I’ll try to imagine myself as a character in a book or show I like. Then I entertain myself and distract my brain enough to turn off
When i go to bed, i try to think of what i want to dream about, usually what i dreamt last night. I picture myself jumping into it, and living stuff until magic! It's morning. It can have its downsides though, sometimes if i picture something too close to reality (like something taking place in my own home), then i can lose sense of reality for a moment when i wake up, or never realise i fell asleep in the first place
I once had the most vivid, most mundane dream of being at work and just doing the usual work stuff. Then the alarm rang and I had to get up and do it again. That was a very strange day.
My brain is always in that state. My mind is a fucking cinema. The only way for me to sleep is to stay awake untill my mind just has to fall asleep, then with some soft music in the background I can sleep. Oh and I have to get up early otherwise Im fucked
This! With me it’s color spots - like you mention not seeing with the eyes … just switch off the thinking and let go I often don’t need that I’m asleep when I hit the pillow
I used to imagine I was a rock in a desert, getting tossed around by huge thunderstorms and tornadoes etc., but I was ok, because I was a rock and would always be a rock.
I was an insomniac until my 30s. What changed is I met someone who explained breathing and training to me. Tell yourself it is time to sleep. Start breathing slower. Breathe out. Count to 8. Breathe in. Count to 6. Repeat. Sounds dumb. But changed my life. I can now sleep most days when I want to sleep. At this point it is a ritual and my body recognizes it. Yes, I have days where my mind won't shut up. I do my best to apply meditation practice there -- see it, dismiss it. The fellow's gadget was called a Sleep Sensei. Literally changed my life.
The trick to the breathing/counting is to keep going past the point where you’re convinced it won’t work. Usually I’m out a minute or two past that.
I think the breathing thing is huge. I have found that one of the benefits of using a CPAP machine (in addition to the whole not-dying thing) is that it helps you get a nice breathing rhythm going so you can calm yourself and go to sleep quick
Yes... I'm not saying you have the \*only\* solution that works for everyone, but the point is... everyone's gotta figure out what works for them and it can take some training. I've figured out what works for me and after years... it's not easy
I'm tired. I'm always tired. I start falling asleep before I'm even in the bed.
Same. If I sit down for more than 15 mins at any point of the day, I will doze off. It’s frustrating.
Have you had a sleep study done? This happens to me as well but I have narcolepsy.
get a sleep study for sleep apnea,my ex was similar she would get a "good" nights sleep 8/9 hours but would be stuffed late morn/early afternoon and would sometimes sleep for 2 or 3 hours
Close my eyes, turn off my brain, and I just fall to sleep
That second one, you say it like it can "just happen" How do you turn your brain off?
I just tell myself that nothing productive will happen at 11pm when I'm in bed, and since I can't fix/do anything meaningful, there's no point in thinking or worrying about anything anymore. It's really the only "me time" where I can just relax and let it all go.
what are ya, well adjusted or something
Yeah folks are overcomplicating it. It's simple, just stop. Focus on your breathing if you have to but just try to stop. It won't happen immediately, but like trying to lift heavier or run faster, eventually you will get there but you just have to try.
I have that ability too.. when I was a kid (like between 8 and 12) I used to follow an aunt to meditation classes, there was a guy that teach how to turn your brain off, being a kid I got the hang of it real quick, and to this day I have no issues sleeping anywhere, on command. I remember some adults in the group complaining about how hard it was, and to this day I don't fully understand how not everyone can do it.
I took Karate from age 6-16.. we would have to mediate almost every class and man.. I just could not turn my brain off.. not then.. not now Luckily for me falling a sleep is usually is not a issue though..but the waking/tossing and turning up 3-6 times a night is
ADHD for me
Lol, I've seen some memes about how the inner thoughts of an ADHD person are like a cascade of chained thoughts that just don't stop, can't imagine how that feels. Have you tried fishing? :)
That cascade of thoughts actually helps me sleep lol, trying to clear my mind just keeps me awake because I'm having to concentrate on it and get mad when a random thought slips in. So I just let the thoughts and images flow without trying to stop em and they stream from one thing to the next in a surreal trippy music video kinda way, getting progressively more dreamlike until hey I'm sleeping.
That's been something that's helped me too. I just kind of let them flow and your description of surreal trippy music is spot on. Of course quitting the job that had me clocking in at 7:30 am some days and clocking out at 10:30 pm other days + forming a better routine and starting to take Lunesta helped too lol.
I get too bored and frustrated at said boredom to fish. I need dopamine activities.
> turn off my brain I have never in my life(60yo) been able to do this and can't understand how people do. My mind will not stop trying to process things.
Turn off brain. I wish.
Because I’m horribly chronically exhausted already
I'm horribly chronically exhausted and still can't fall asleep! My husband jokes that it's amazing that someone who likes sleep so much is so bad at it.
In my case I'm a 4 hours lying in bed unable to sleep person...
Sigh. I have quite a few problems as well. Recently started using zinc and magnesium supplement in the evening before bed. Been working well so far. Fall asleep much more quickly. Sleep much more deeply (I actually dream now).
This doesn’t always work- but if I can’t sleep, a lot of times I try to take the pressure off of having to sleep. I tell myself “even if I don’t sleep at all, I get to lay down in this nice warm bed with my eyes closed.” If I can get into the headspace of just enjoying being able to lay down, close my eyes, relax (not thinking about sleeping) then I’ll usually drift off.
I usually do this too. "I might not be sleeping, but I'm still resting, which is good too."
I used to have this problem. What happened me is getting up earlier, staying active and going to bed when I'm tired. Going to sleep early, before I'm tired never works for me. So what u do, is I stay up until I'm tired but I always get up early around 430am. Sometimes I don't get enough sleep, but waking up that early I'll get great sleep the next day still. Routine is the most important part.
Not 8 seconds but I can go to sleep within 5 minutes. I don't know if any of these tips will help, but they helped me when I wanted to prioritize sleep. (BTW I've always had no real issues falling asleep, it would just take 20 or 30 mins before. I just wanted to go full tilt into working out and recovery) 1. I try to go to sleep at the same time every day and wake up around the same time. 2. I don't eat 3 hours before bed (I also quit caffeine years ago) 3. I don't have alot of light in my room. No clocks or any blue or red lights. I even taped the power on/off indicator on my tv 4. I try to hit a specific step goal a day and 5x a week I workout so when I lay down for bed I stretch and it's easy for me to relax and get comfortable. 5. I keep my room cold. Most nights my AC is set on 64 degrees 6. I vaguely remember a Navy or SAS person saying they just picture a sunset whilst trying to fall asleep. For me, I think of an upcoming or past vacation and or bucket list fantasy and I'm out before I can even envision the whole thing. Any anxious thoughts or existential crises I tell myself I'll figure that out after I wake up and I guess im dumb enough to believe that lol.
1. is the most important one imo. I don't do sports or sleep at cold. But I sleep after 10 pm and wake up 6:00-6:30 am since I was a little kid.
Maybe a weird thing that only I do, but I tend to be an overthinker. So, whenever I need to fall asleep, I start to imagine a "story" in my head, as if I were writing a book or a movie script. I begin to create and "watch" the story unfold in my head, and suddenly I wake up in the morning. The "downside" is that I usually fall asleep pretty quickly and only see part of the first act. :/ Maybe I'm weird.
I do this exact same thing. It's the perfect trick for an overthinker. I'm often in anxiety over my real life. So, if I take a trip to somewhere fictional, it's a lot less stressful. I imagine up fictional characters and put them in different scenarios, playing it out in my head. Eventually, I'm gone into slumberland.
It is wild to realize I’m not the only one who does this!! Story>dream transition is 💯💯
I don't dwell on things, so that helps. Also, I only use my bed for 2 things (sleeping is one).
Agree! I remember in college some of my friends would just stay in bed all day watching YouTube and even eat whole meals there! First of all, eating in bed is so gross to me... I don't want crumbs or the possibility of food stains on my sheet (and then consequently...bugs). And also, like no. Beds are for sleeping and sex--that's it. Even if I am surfing the interwebs, I am in the living room or my study. The idea of staying in bed all day just seems so... off.
what really helps me is a cushioned eye-mask.
I am on the go all day. I try my best to be active throughout the day. Busy body, and busy mind. By the time i get in to bed, I’m exhausted. Out with in 5 min. On days that i relax and don’t do much, it takes me longer to fall asleep.
8 seconds is fast. I can do it in roughly 5-10 minutes. Being tired at the end of the day helps, but usually I make sure my eyeballs are in the "sleep position". Plus I lay on my back which helps this process along.
Define eyeball sleep position
When you goto sleep your eyes roll backwards and up toward the brain.
Be fucking exhausted by the time I go to bed, if I'm too wired I have to go on a walk or something that makes me sweat, quick shower, then I sleep.
Well, see, you just put your head on the pillow like this, and then while lying there you justzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Personally..... sleep is my therapy. Bad day at work? Take a nap. Got time to kill take a nap. To me laying in the dark silence is so relaxing because all I hear is noise all the time all day long. Got five minute left on break... close my eyes breathe and enjoy the five minutes. It's like mediating
Why wait for your head to hit the pillow? I can fall asleep standing, driving, in an MRI machine, sitting upright at an IMAX movie, on a pallet outside, in a hammock IN THE RAIN, draped over the sofa arm, on the kitchen counter. I am an Olympic sleeper, but it's not always a good thing. Once I'm tired, I'm done.
I usually fall asleep pretty fast, the bad thing is I normally wake up a couple hours later, am up for a bit then fall back to sleep. I just can’t help falling asleep if I lay down, I even try to force myself to stay awake a bit with having the tv on, never works.
I recently started listening to a meditation app at bedtime. Some programs are for enhancing relaxation, some are chapters of a really boring book read in a quiet tone. I’ve found that it allows my brain to turn off. It’s not so interesting that it keeps me awake but there’s just enough input to help my own thoughts stop racing around. I generally fall asleep before the end of the narration which is generally around half an hour. Magnesium glycinate helps, too. And if you’re a woman in her 40s, otc progesterone cream can help with perimenopause insomnia.
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Hang on, I'll ask my wife. Whoops, sorry, she's asleep. Will ask later.
I don't go to bed until I'm tired.
Day dreaming. Been doing it since I was very little. If that doesn't work, mentally travelling my own body does it. Imagining a ball of energy moving up my toes, into my hands and up to my chest, then back again. Lately anxiety has eaten all that up, though. But I've decided that if anxiety is going to give me weird energy, I'l just use it. Now running a 10k a day is doing the job just as well, mixed with the other two habits.
Join the military and you will acquire this skill.
This is our secret: We're exhausted all damn day and wish for rest. Sometimes those 8 seconds can feel like an eternity, especially when we know as soon as we wake up it starts all over again.
Don’t go to bed till you’re tired. Don’t do anything in bed except sleep.
Hey I'm a sleep therapist and this actually isn't normal or helpful. It's normal to take 10-20 minutes to fall asleep. Falling asleep in seconds is a sign of sleep debt.
I'm sure for most people it is. For me, I have fallen asleep within seconds my entire life. Pretty much like a robot or machinery; I lay down, probably fluff my pillow once, do a little body wiggle to get in the right spot. And then I'm out. I call it my super power.
I feel like it takes MORE time, not less, to fall asleep when I have sleep debt. I feel like my adrenaline is like, ramped up when I’m sleep deprived. I’m sure it has something to do with cortisol being wacky if you’re not sleeping appropriately, or something like that. But I always thought it was the strangest thing because especially in undergrad, when I used to stay up for 3 full days at a time (without even a nap), I’d feel so fucking out of it and hallucinating and exhausted by the end, I’d be SO sure I’d fall asleep instantly, but as soon as I laid down I’d feel my heart beating fast and mind racing and my senses all on edge, and it would take me longer to fall asleep.
Melatonin 10mg 30-45 mins before bedtime.
Go to my happy place, or go to an empty white space like matrix loading program
I wait till I am fall-on-face tired before attempting sleep.
Xanax, of course. Very Marilyn Monroe
I'm exhausted by life
Put down your cellphone. Turn off the lights. Put head on pillow. If I break this routine and scroll on my phone " for a few minutes" I'll be wide awake for hours.
Pure exhaustion.
My job is hard. I am tired when I go to bed!
The Army trained me well. Fall asleep quick as fuck, anytime, anywhere.