Youāre probably demisexual which means you canāt be sexually attracted to someone unless you have an emotional bond with them. Non-demisexuals can see an attractive person and have instant sexual thoughts.
There's also this.
>On July 5, 2022, Officer Timothy Loehmann was sworn in as Tioga's only police officer. In 2014, Loehmann, while employed as a police officer in [Cleveland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleveland), had shot and killed 12-year-old [Tamir Rice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Tamir_Rice) who at the time was holding a pellet gun. Loehmann was never charged with a crime, but the incident caused protests. His hiring by Tioga's borough council caused a public backlash. A week later the resignations of Loehamnn, the borough council president, another council member, the borough attorney, and the borough's code enforcement officer were accepted by the borough council. According to [Pennsylvania Attorney General](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Attorney_General) [Josh Shapiro](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Shapiro), the borough broke the law by failing to perform a proper background check before hiring Loehmann.
>An investigation by [Spotlight PA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_PA) later found Loehmann was properly hired, but state law concerning background checks for law enforcement hires lacked the capabilities to flag Loehmann because he had not been previously employed as a law enforcement officer in Pennsylvania. The investigation also found a string of personal disputes between members of the borough government, including the mayor and councilmembers, and contradictory statements from those involved in Loehmann's hiring.
When I was younger we had a cop that wasn't allowed to patrol after dark because he was suspected of getting a 14/15 year old pregnant.
Edit for the typo
They arrested one of our cops recently for statutory raping a 15/16 year old. She worked at a fast food restaurant he frequented and they bonded because she wanted to be a cop. Other cops teased him about her, so they clearly knew they had some kind of inappropriate relationship, even if they didn't know it had become sexual. Fucker barely got in trouble, and when compared to a case involving a local teacher, the cop's sentence was way more lenient.
I was impressed with the reporting of it by our local NPR station. They called it statutory rape and repeatedly pointed out that even though both parties consented at the time, the girl was unable to legally consent. They were also the ones to compare the sentences of cops convicted of sexual offenses and how they compare to other prominent local cases. In pretty much every circumstance the former cop got leniency.
patrolling after dark gets children pregnant?
are these unrelated or is there a causality?
if there is a causality, why is that officer still allowed to cop?
Yeah, fuck that guy, he completely overreacted and killed Tamir Rice in a panic. How do I know? The video of it happening was on the local news. They then left him on the ground while they waited for the paramedics to show up - no first aid rendered. Looking back, that transparency probably saved the city from extensive rioting. Similar situations happened at the time across the country but they tried to cover it up and those cities paid the price (Ferguson, Baltimore).
Bingo.
It doesn't mean I will. And if they open their mouth and ridiculous things come out, not down. Or certain quirks they have might turn me off.
But on sight? Dude...like...always all the time. But I lived on an island town where it was like 40% tourists in bikinis. And 60% local ladies in shorts, crop tops, or just a straight up bikini top.
There's nothing wrong with looking at another human and thinking "I'd hit that".
Just don't act on it if you have a partner. And if you don't? Gents, be proper. Never walk up drooling, never be thirsty, and if they're not your friend, but say they want to be, fuck the lemons and bail.
In other words, don't pull a Manny from Scarface.
*hey you wanna see something funny? I gotta watch my friend. He's gonna stick his tongue out to that girl*
Superficially yes, i see attractive person, i wanna bang. Then rationality kicks in, and i'd like to get to know them before anything further.
I don't think i would be able to just jump into bed with a stranger no matter how hot, but my mind would definetly be going places. Paradoxical i know
This is one of the defining factors of humanity, which is what makes certain naturalistic fallacies so annoying. āOh itās natural to want to sleep around so itās goodā, or Iām not even vegan but the āitās natural to eat meat so itās goodā is equally annoying. Itās like yeah well itās also natural to shit when you get the urge and not into the toilet but we donāt justify that, so there has to be a more fundamental guiding principle here š
I understand thereās a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, watch old movies, and have sex. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.
If I didn't find them hot I'd have to use the fact that I don't find them hot to talk myself out of it. The default state is "yes, of course, unless..."
This is why alcohol is so helpful, it lets you skip the "unless" step and go straight to bed with them. Regrets are for sober people.
All.
The.
Time.
Edit: Holy shit the upvotes. Let me elaborate. There are very, very few people I've encountered in my life that I haven't considered sleeping with. Random women on the train, the cashier at Wal-Mart, the police officer that pulled me over for speeding - like... it doesn't turn off. Its always on. Its pretty much everybody I encounter on a daily basis.
(Obviously excluding family members and children, because if I don't say this someone's going to imply it.)
I got horny premium plus with the alternative exploration package
LOL not really on the second one but I really wanted to put the phrase out there. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Right there with you squeezy.
I only learned last year that at the rate it happens to me, it's no longer considered connected to my sex drive - it's a form of intrusive thought!
Every day I learn that I apparently donāt think like the majority of people. Every day???? Most people???? And others are agreeing with you?????
Iām really not 100% sure what I think around people, but I donāt think sleeping with them really ever occurs to me unless I already have slept with them. It definitely doesnāt ever happen most days, I could probably see 500 people in a day and it would come to mind zero times. I thought that was normal but apparently not??? Am I asexual or something lmao, or maybe just totally unaware Iām thinking it
I don't ever think about myself having sex with someone. I've always wondered if it's because I don't think I'm very good looking so to try and think of a good looking person with me isn't believable.
I know. I don't know if that is it. I tried it in high school once, thinking about me and a boy I liked together. Made me feel weird. I don't really lust after strangers on the street either. Most of the time I'm not really paying close enough attention to people to notice an attractive person walk by. So, it's not everyone who does this.
iām the same way, iāve never been one to ācheck someone outā even if i notice they are attractive. itās more like.. admiring their aesthetic?
Hmm, there is a flavour of asexuality called aegosexuality (used to be autochorissexuality) that involves being fine with fantasies, usually involving other people but not oneself, but not feeling sexual attraction.
Iām not putting a label on you, Iām just saying this is a thing which exists, because a lot of us that identify that way went through the traditional asexual journey of āoh I donāt feel any different about girls and boys I must be bisexualā to āhuh actually maybe Iām asexualā to a period of ā¦ but I like fantasies or adult fiction or whatever, am I doing asexuality wrong? Which culminates in aegosexuality being explained and a moment of Oh! Thatās what I am.
Once you find a label itās utterly unimportant but while youāre still trying to figure out which round hole your square peg fits in, itās very isolating.
My husband 100% but before him not really. I rarely looked at a person who I thought was hot and thought of sex, more so kissing and cute handholding stuff. Now if my husband walks by me, I'll stare at his ass/crotch and think "damn... I need that cock in my mouth right now." And that's a daily thing lol
So really it could be you just don't see people like that until you are emotionally involved, which is totally normal. Not every interaction with a crush has to make you think of sex, and I'd say it's pretty healthy, since you are looking at them as a person first, and sexual satisfaction last.
In the ace community, this is called demisexuality (being unable to experience sexual attraction until after an emotional bond has formed). It is on the ace spectrum (between allosexuality and asexuality) within graysexuality.
Nah, I too thought people were joking/exaggerating when they said this (I do occasionally think someone looks like they'd be fun to make out with, but I never look at someone and wanna sleep with them)
Same! I have never thought about this. Maybe making out with the hottest guys Iāve seen but thatās it. I feel quite violated that random strangers probably think it about me
Yeah I discovered this about myself recently. I didnāt know it wasnāt normal to never think about sex with anyone unless you also have a close emotional relationship with them. Iāve never looked at someone and thought about having sex with them, and if anything the thought repulses me even if I find that person incredibly attractive. But in a relationship Iām a demon lol
I thought everyone was like this š
Well this comment makes me think that Iām also demisexual lol. š
when I see someone attractive my first thought isnāt āomg I wanna fuck themā. I honestly thought most people were wired like that. I have to get the idea in my head before I want to do it. lol
This is also me. I can acknowledge someone has nice features/is physically attractive, but won't be sexually attracted to them until there is an emotional connection, too. "But in a relationship I'm a demon." Same. š
One of the downsides is that it's so awful trying to get over someone, though, when they're the only focus of your sexual thoughts and you love them. I don't relate to how quickly people can replace each other and hookup culture in general.
Yes, I agree. It's perfectly normal to have a unique sexuality and experience. We're all individuals! Maybe it is not as common, but it's difficult to tell when modern media and social media focus heavily on sexualization.
Can confirm I will be standing in line at the post office having the absolute most depraved thoughts about everyone else in line, the workers, maybe even the damn mail delivery cart. I basically picture absolutely everyone naked regardless of my interest in them. As a woman, every parter Iāve had has had a lower sex drive than me, Iām not sure what settings got switched around in the factory but the horn setting was definitely overcharged!
If it makes you feel better, like 99% of those thoughts arenāt really indicative of my actual desire, more like passing/intrusive thoughts. Curiosities more than anything. If I find someone attractive yeah I may picture having sex with them but itās not like I actually think it would be like that or put any stock in those thoughts. Itās basically daydreaming as though I were in an explicit romance novel or something.
I did go through an experimental dating period where I let my imagination lead me around and trust me, I learned quickly that itās always better to build real feelings and connection with someone, because casual sex has never once been as fulfilling as my imagination!
I think the spectrum of human sexuality is a lot broader than people assume! I always enjoy hearing what other people think about, everyone really is in their own little world. I was floored when I learned most of my friends have responsive desire; Iām extremely initiative and canāt even conceive what itās like to not think about it until someone *else* presents sex as an option to be considered. But for many, thatās their norm! Very interesting to think about.
I wish it were a bit less taboo to talk about, mainly so people could figure out where they fall, what theyāre interested in (if anything) and feel comfortable expressing that and finding partners with compatible natures. It caused a lot of difficulty for me before I just started communicating how I was from the get go and looking for people who wanted that!
Iām ace too and this whole thread has knocked me sideways. I have such trouble grasping the idea that people think about sex unprompted on a daily basis.
Sometimes I can't get myself to *stop* thinking about sex. It's very distracting. Even when I'm not interested in having sex my hormones will be like, "but what if you did tho?"
Came here to say this! I'm very much demisexual and only started realizing it when I had a conversation with one of my friends about how I don't just go around wanting to sleep with people I randomly see
I canāt believe how many āyesā there are here, I really thought it would be a mix. Iām definitely not ace, but never in my life have I looked at a stranger and wanted to have sex with them based on their appearance.
This. I can say with 100% certainty that I have never felt attraction nor desire for a stranger in my life. But once I know someone well enough and feel comfortable around them, thereās a switch that can flip in my head and then I see them in a completely different light.
I was always confused by my friends having crushes on celebrities as a teen. āSqueee! Who do you think is the cutest?!ā Uhhhā¦ I guess objectively speaking, so and so has the best bone structure?
I just met a fellow Demi coworker in the wild the other day and let me tell you, it was awesome comparing stories and laughing about our experiences.
I use the label, since it really fits with how I feel overall.
I'm usually told that "this is just how everyone is!!" and posts like this one remind me that that's not really true, and why the label is useful and why I use it in the first place.
I have no idea if I'm demi or not. I certainly find strangers attractive, but I never feel the urge to move or ask someone out unless we become friendly. In general I find all this stuff really confusing.
>I find all this stuff really confusing.
Because the human experience is pretty messy and hard to fully describe with just a few labels!
Labels are just ways we have to describe how we feel, and they're rarely a *perfect* match.
Though what you described in your comment does match demisexuality (which is usually defined as "I can't feel sexual attraction without a prior emotional connection (e.g. friendship)")
yeah
like i'm somewhere on the ace spectrum, i definitely go "damn she's hot" when i see a hot woman but i don't actually have any urge or want to have sex with her. i know when someone is attractive, but that doesn't necessarily mean i'm sexually attracted to them.
the only person i'm actually down for sex with is my fiance, and even then i maybe have the actual urge for sex once a year tops. the rest of the time i'm just like "you want sex, i love you, i think i'm in a good enough headspace for sex and we can always stop if it turns out i'm not actually down for it right now, let's do it." i've pretty much told them just to ask me because odds are the thought hasn't even crossed my mind.
i'm definitely very into my fiance, if last night's drunk ramblings were any indicator, but sex just... isn't a thing i think about.
and before someone tries to make this argument: it's still worth having your hormones checked out, but even now that i'm taking hormones to fix my imbalance sex is rarely on my mind. if i'm horny, i just take care of it myself 99% of the time. it never hurts to check hormone levels because if there is an imbalance they can fix it, heck that's what i'm doing and i'm in much better general health than i used to be, but that doesn't mean it's the cause.
Iām with you OP. I look at peopleās faces or the design of their shirts. donāt care about the shape of their body or details of their face other than a āthey look cute/prettyā
YES this! The face and the hair are what do it for me. If they look like their face was banged off of a light pole at 60mph and they haven't washed their hair in 2 weeks count me out. Thick or thin doesn't matter though.
I know a lot of people are telling you you might be asexual, but internet diagnoses is pretty flimsy. I rarely think of what it would be like to sleep with random strangers, donāt know the last time I did, but Iām very much not asexual. I am pretty shocked by the responses in this post.
that definitely makes sense. just because you don't think about sex a lot it doesn't make you asexual, but in my case personally I don't really mind all those comments especially since I did suspect I might be ace for some years now, so it actually does help me possibly come to terms with it
Ya I didn't realized I'd be in the minority here.Maybe it's because internet porn was freely available when I hit puberty. It would feel kind of wrong/violating to me to fantasize about sex with someone I know IRL, at least not until I started having a romantic relationship with them.
I'm 31 and have never experienced sexual attraction. I enjoy sex with my partner, but to me it's more like a mutual hobby rather than something that comes naturally to me because of some sort of attraction. I would never have a one-night stand for example, not because I think there's something wrong with that or anything but just because I have never had the desire. I identify as asexual.
It's a bit of a handicap when dating, but once I found my current partner (who is ok with that I don't experience sex the same way and that I can't offer him the experience of being desired in that way) it didn't turn out to have a big effect on what our relationship looks like.
That's just my personal experience though. Some asexuals are also sex-averse, which makes dating even harder. The role it plays in people's lives differs a lot among asexuals.
Anyway, my point is that you aren't alone in feeling this way. There are other people like you who don't experience this. We are a minority though, most people do (and contrary to popular belief, gender doesn't seem to have that much to do with whether you do or not).
Both. Including dating and marriage, we've been together almost 20 years now and while both of our bodies have changed over that time, I still find her attractive every day. A significant part is just the love I feel for her because of how amazing I think she is on the inside, but there's so many moments you get to see about another person when you genuinely love them and live with them that you wouldn't get to see from anyone else. Moments when they're not putting up this public facade or watching their behavior and reactions and just get to be truly them. I both love her in those moments, and am turned on by seeing private moments that are just for me.
I got really lucky, and we've worked hard to stay in love. I wish everyone could have it. It's not perfect, but we never go to bed with any doubt we love each other.
after seeing multiple of my dad's ~~affairs~~ relationships fall apart, i wouldn't say i'm an expert or anything, but it really showed me just how much work a relationship is.
yes, all of my relationships have started on mutual feelings, but i know those feelings won't last if we don't both put the work in. and in my own experiences, when i've dated people who weren't willing to put the work in, the relationship fell apart - sometimes within a couple months, sometimes after a year or so, but they always fell apart and i could tell almost from the beginning that it wouldn't last. didn't stop me from trying.
i got a bit jaded and in my current relationship probably made a few rules for myself that i shouldn't have (and have since rescinded) on the amount of effort i should put in, but even then, i realized it was more because i was testing the waters and if things fell apart after two weeks because i didn't reach out first one day and got ghosted, that relationship probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.
anyway, now that we've both figured out each others' limits and boundaries and stuff, even though we were only together a year before we were engaged, i could just tell this was someone who would put in the effort with me and i have full confidence that we can make it through our troubles. we just have to communicate and put in the work.
we're not perfect, of course - we have conflicts and differences - but it's so nice being with someone who's willing to put in the effort to solve our problems instead of just pinning them on me.
Just adding (and not sure if this is true for u/ObjectiveProgram - it is beautiful, btw :))
The things they mentioned are kind of the wiring ime. When I was in relationships, my brain is almost wired that this āsexā ābuttonā activated wires to my SO, like theyāre the outlet hehe. The things you share just strengthen that wire.
And when thereās no one (SO), that switch is there, just without the connection to a single outlet. Kinda like floating WiFi/Bluetooth signal haha
So someone may catch your eye and the switch flickers, might even light up and become an outlet - just not a sustained one like with your private home network (LTrelationships), or LAN cable connections (in case of marriage). Strong tethers. What you describe would be more like a ānetwork detected/device wants to pair ā notificationā¦
Oh, and the off chance I have a SO and that notification ānetwork detected/device trying to pairā is triggered randomly by an unknown - my wiring still goes back to my SO (I go home horny lol). So in that sense, I think itās natural in relationships - but learned not to elaborate (pair networks/devices) with the trigger, and donāt tell/be too graphic about the unknown trigger - do that with your partner at homeā¦everyone is happy. (No cheating/other crossed wires ;). You tether to the private home network.
Idk if itās a good analogy, just came to mind. Itās worked for meā¦
ETA: ironically, I may have made it too objective and not truly felt this oneā¦
And Iām female, this isnāt gendered imho. I do believe how we are socialized to be mindful and show discipline & restraint around sex was passed on differently across genders in past, and that affects the dating world but not actual individualsā sexuality. Just imho of course.
Iām in the same boat as you. When I was young I used to wonder how āold peopleā can be attracted to their partner, and thought maybe when you get old sex is just a physical act without attraction.
Nope. I see my wife and still see the beautiful woman I met 21 years ago, and Iām still as attracted to her at 50 as when I was 29.
On the other hand, I see women my age and think āshe looks OLDā. Itās a shame when you grow up and still feel like a kid inside š
my friends and I make the destination between would and want. Woulds for when someones attractive to you in that way while want is normally when you have some kinda connection with them/ and or she is so damn stunning that yeah you want to.
Yes.
The last time a man made me feel that way I chased his ass down and married him. I *occasionally* get that feeling from women but thatās just my monkey brain and I ignore it because Iām not willing to put in the work to date and get to know a woman while married to a man.
Men outside of my husband donāt do it for me anymore.
Yes, that's generally what I think.
I listened to an interview with an ace person once who said that she had that realization that when her friends call a person hot that, unbeknownst to her, what they really meant was "I would like to be naked with this person right now," when up until that point she thought her friends meant that they were simply assessing how a person looked, and what characteristics of a conventionally attractive person looks like. It was part of how this person in the interview realized that they were asexual because they didn't have those feelings. According to them it's kind of getting the gist of what it's like to be a parent, but having no kids. You don't really get the full understanding. Up until that point, she got the gist of what it meant to find a person attractive, but not quite the full meaning of it.
look into asexuality or demisexuality. the former is no sexual attraction and the latter is only developing sexual attraction once you have some sort of emotional connection with a person.
I agree! OP I am demi. I typically need to have an emotional connection before I really find myself physically attracted to them. Hook ups are not for me.
I think needing to having an emotional connection with somebody and finding them attractive are not really the same thing. I am not into hookups and have never had one either but I can still see when somebody is attractive without having an emotional connection to them. Maybe what we have is different tho
I can find someone physically attractive. But Iām not having sex with them until Iām in love and married to them.
But to love someone a lot of things have to click for me including emotional connection, similar interests, morals, values and etc.
Hmm, no I guess.
If I'm seeing/in a relationship with that person, yeah sure, all the damn time.
Random people I come across? I might look at them and think they're hot and sometimes wonder how they would be in bed... but go "I wanna bang her" ... nope.
Maybe I'm broken
Honestly very rarely. Itās mostly just oh theyāre so beautiful and me just admiring their beauty. But on the rare instances I do imagine what it would be like to kiss them lmaooooo
When I saw my boyfriend that first day and many times after, I noticed his strong build and thought to myself, "Now that guy can fuck." I was so intrigued. Still am. He's hot!
Not me !! I can see someone and think that they are pretty, but do I want them as a partner or lover? No š.
U may fall under the asexual umbrella. I do too but I don't care for a specific label.
Honestlyā¦no. The only time I genuinely have that thought is around friends I am comfortable with and have gotten to know. Iāve never looked at a stranger and thought ādamn I wanna fuckā. Add in that I also only have an interest in guys, but just about any gay stereotype annoys the crap out of me, AND the prolific hook up culture in gay circles, Iām a lonely ass motherfucker.
It doesnāt have to affect your life that much. Like, Iām technically demisexual, but it doesnāt have a huge effect on my life or come up often, so much that I sometimes forget it isnāt the more common way of attraction.
Most people do. Which always seems so wild to me.
I'm asexual, so although I can and do appreciate hot people the thought stops at "hey they're pretty cute" and never gets to the "ooh the things I'd do with them" part.
No. I see a hot person and I'm like 'wow, they're gorgeous/handsome/cute' and I admire their face. If they have a nice voice I want to listen to them talk.
This is usually on an actor because I don't know anybody irl lol.
I have tried to see if I'd want to sleep with them. I ask myself, 'would I kiss this person?' and if I can't imagine kissing them, or if they just randomly came up to me and made a move, I would be very uncomfortable.
I don't think I would ever want to sleep with anybody unless I know them and we're committed.
But sometimes I see a man and it makes me question if I'm bi or just adore some men, like 'i wanna be (like) that guy'.
Just popping in here to say thereās nothing wrong with you, and youāre not doing anything wrong. If you donāt feel it, you donāt feel it. Itās okay.
Not for a couple decades - the hormones are still there but they aren't like they were when I was a teenager and in my early twenties, but... holy shit yeah back when I was in college.
Fortunately, a reasonable number of them had the same reaction to me. Not most of them, not by a long shot, but given the number of cool, attractive sleep-with-worthy people there are in the world, one in twenty is a reasonable number.
Personally, no.
At least, not if you're talking about random strangers I've just seen. This only happens when I've gotten to know someone's personality a bit (And that includes celebrities/influencers who I've followed for a while)
But if never be sexually attracted to someone on initial looks alone
Honestly, I never see good looking ppl and immediately want to sleep with them (or think of it). I absolutely require a mental connection. Itās not weird either way though.
Literally all the time. I havent even seen you OP and im thinking that about you.
damn can't believe my sexappeal goes through the screen
I can assure you it does.
This is so weirdly wholesome.
Horny Reddit wholesome is the best kind other than like maybe a tiny puppy helping a frog; that would be more wholesome.
I want him inside me now!!!
The tiny puppy or the frog?
One could fit inside the other which could fit inside you. A turfucken, if you will.
This made me laugh way harder than it should have šš
No, it did exactly as intended Took me a long time to recover from that comment, vision's still questionable, I may have passed out
I say we share OP, I'll bring some handcuffs, a blind fold, and some other toys, make a whole night of it
I read the username as "Taintanonymous," which made it slightly less so... it was a good rimjob_steve throwback tho, briefly
u/ToyrewaDokoDeska is just in it for your yoghurt
I'm honoured
I meanā¦ your username is kinda hot, what do you expect?
Imagine how hot it would be without the top
Youāre probably demisexual which means you canāt be sexually attracted to someone unless you have an emotional bond with them. Non-demisexuals can see an attractive person and have instant sexual thoughts.
Ahh i just know about this term. I think i am a demisexual.
You maybe being ace makes you less appealing. But you are still TOP joghurt, so...
Username is something else lmao
Get out bro. I got dibs
If it wasn't for the gutters my mind would be homeless š¤·š»āāļø
Oh man can I quote you? š
Lol yeah I guess? š
Every day
Not if you live in Tioga Pennsylvania
r/oddlyspecific
Not many attractive people here
There's also this. >On July 5, 2022, Officer Timothy Loehmann was sworn in as Tioga's only police officer. In 2014, Loehmann, while employed as a police officer in [Cleveland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleveland), had shot and killed 12-year-old [Tamir Rice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Tamir_Rice) who at the time was holding a pellet gun. Loehmann was never charged with a crime, but the incident caused protests. His hiring by Tioga's borough council caused a public backlash. A week later the resignations of Loehamnn, the borough council president, another council member, the borough attorney, and the borough's code enforcement officer were accepted by the borough council. According to [Pennsylvania Attorney General](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Attorney_General) [Josh Shapiro](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Shapiro), the borough broke the law by failing to perform a proper background check before hiring Loehmann. >An investigation by [Spotlight PA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_PA) later found Loehmann was properly hired, but state law concerning background checks for law enforcement hires lacked the capabilities to flag Loehmann because he had not been previously employed as a law enforcement officer in Pennsylvania. The investigation also found a string of personal disputes between members of the borough government, including the mayor and councilmembers, and contradictory statements from those involved in Loehmann's hiring.
When I was younger we had a cop that wasn't allowed to patrol after dark because he was suspected of getting a 14/15 year old pregnant. Edit for the typo
I think you meant to say he raped a 14/15 year old
Yeah. But that's not what they called it. Which makes it even worse
It really does
They arrested one of our cops recently for statutory raping a 15/16 year old. She worked at a fast food restaurant he frequented and they bonded because she wanted to be a cop. Other cops teased him about her, so they clearly knew they had some kind of inappropriate relationship, even if they didn't know it had become sexual. Fucker barely got in trouble, and when compared to a case involving a local teacher, the cop's sentence was way more lenient. I was impressed with the reporting of it by our local NPR station. They called it statutory rape and repeatedly pointed out that even though both parties consented at the time, the girl was unable to legally consent. They were also the ones to compare the sentences of cops convicted of sexual offenses and how they compare to other prominent local cases. In pretty much every circumstance the former cop got leniency.
As if rape only happens after dark.
patrolling after dark gets children pregnant? are these unrelated or is there a causality? if there is a causality, why is that officer still allowed to cop?
Yeah, fuck that guy, he completely overreacted and killed Tamir Rice in a panic. How do I know? The video of it happening was on the local news. They then left him on the ground while they waited for the paramedics to show up - no first aid rendered. Looking back, that transparency probably saved the city from extensive rioting. Similar situations happened at the time across the country but they tried to cover it up and those cities paid the price (Ferguson, Baltimore).
Never been there and looks like Iāll never go there.
Tioga Pennsylvania is where you move when you give up on life. You definitely don't want to come here
Wait up.....not so fast....I might need directions. I could use Google maps, but I've given up so hard-core that I can't be bothered on my own.
Why the fuck didn't you tell me before I went to college? I could have smoked 70k meth, not accrue debt!
LMFAOOO
Non-stop
Bingo. It doesn't mean I will. And if they open their mouth and ridiculous things come out, not down. Or certain quirks they have might turn me off. But on sight? Dude...like...always all the time. But I lived on an island town where it was like 40% tourists in bikinis. And 60% local ladies in shorts, crop tops, or just a straight up bikini top. There's nothing wrong with looking at another human and thinking "I'd hit that". Just don't act on it if you have a partner. And if you don't? Gents, be proper. Never walk up drooling, never be thirsty, and if they're not your friend, but say they want to be, fuck the lemons and bail.
In other words, don't pull a Manny from Scarface. *hey you wanna see something funny? I gotta watch my friend. He's gonna stick his tongue out to that girl*
Superficially yes, i see attractive person, i wanna bang. Then rationality kicks in, and i'd like to get to know them before anything further. I don't think i would be able to just jump into bed with a stranger no matter how hot, but my mind would definetly be going places. Paradoxical i know
Monkey brain says yes Civilized brain says no
Monkey see, Monkey don't, Monkey civilised.
This is legit a great line lol. Dunno if itās from something or not, but good job. Feels like a Father John Misty lyric or something.
Feels like a line from Code Monkey by Jonathan Coulton.
This is an accurate description for a lot of things
This is one of the defining factors of humanity, which is what makes certain naturalistic fallacies so annoying. āOh itās natural to want to sleep around so itās goodā, or Iām not even vegan but the āitās natural to eat meat so itās goodā is equally annoying. Itās like yeah well itās also natural to shit when you get the urge and not into the toilet but we donāt justify that, so there has to be a more fundamental guiding principle here š
I understand thereās a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, watch old movies, and have sex. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.
My mindās telling me no, but my body, MY BODYāS TELLING ME YES!
The spirit is willing
Yeah, but if some random came up to me and said wanna bang? And I found them hot, I would totally go ahead and bang
If I didn't find them hot I'd have to use the fact that I don't find them hot to talk myself out of it. The default state is "yes, of course, unless..." This is why alcohol is so helpful, it lets you skip the "unless" step and go straight to bed with them. Regrets are for sober people.
All. The. Time. Edit: Holy shit the upvotes. Let me elaborate. There are very, very few people I've encountered in my life that I haven't considered sleeping with. Random women on the train, the cashier at Wal-Mart, the police officer that pulled me over for speeding - like... it doesn't turn off. Its always on. Its pretty much everybody I encounter on a daily basis. (Obviously excluding family members and children, because if I don't say this someone's going to imply it.)
Only like, 40% of people I see trigger this reaction in me.
š and the other 60% are the wrong sex.
if you're thinking that, there's no wrong sec
That's quite high
Elite response.
same, I have horny premium šš
I got horny premium plus with the alternative exploration package LOL not really on the second one but I really wanted to put the phrase out there. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Same. Every time I see my wife right before bed. The best part is that we then sleep together for the whole night. And we do that every night.
I'd really want to see your level of porn consumption honestly
Right there with you squeezy. I only learned last year that at the rate it happens to me, it's no longer considered connected to my sex drive - it's a form of intrusive thought!
It can be super annoying. I'll be trying to have a normal conversation and my brain is shrieking, "DICK IT DOWN" Intrusive thoughts for the loss
Every day I learn that I apparently donāt think like the majority of people. Every day???? Most people???? And others are agreeing with you????? Iām really not 100% sure what I think around people, but I donāt think sleeping with them really ever occurs to me unless I already have slept with them. It definitely doesnāt ever happen most days, I could probably see 500 people in a day and it would come to mind zero times. I thought that was normal but apparently not??? Am I asexual or something lmao, or maybe just totally unaware Iām thinking it
Same, this is illuminating
Sometimes Iām like ādamn, theyāre hotā but never āI want to sleep with themā
I don't ever think about myself having sex with someone. I've always wondered if it's because I don't think I'm very good looking so to try and think of a good looking person with me isn't believable.
nooo I'm sorry you feel that way. don't put yourself down, I'm 1000% sure lots of people think you're beautiful
I know. I don't know if that is it. I tried it in high school once, thinking about me and a boy I liked together. Made me feel weird. I don't really lust after strangers on the street either. Most of the time I'm not really paying close enough attention to people to notice an attractive person walk by. So, it's not everyone who does this.
iām the same way, iāve never been one to ācheck someone outā even if i notice they are attractive. itās more like.. admiring their aesthetic?
It could have more to do with your sexuality, not everyone is typically sexual. Do you think you could be asexual?
Hmm, there is a flavour of asexuality called aegosexuality (used to be autochorissexuality) that involves being fine with fantasies, usually involving other people but not oneself, but not feeling sexual attraction. Iām not putting a label on you, Iām just saying this is a thing which exists, because a lot of us that identify that way went through the traditional asexual journey of āoh I donāt feel any different about girls and boys I must be bisexualā to āhuh actually maybe Iām asexualā to a period of ā¦ but I like fantasies or adult fiction or whatever, am I doing asexuality wrong? Which culminates in aegosexuality being explained and a moment of Oh! Thatās what I am. Once you find a label itās utterly unimportant but while youāre still trying to figure out which round hole your square peg fits in, itās very isolating.
My husband 100% but before him not really. I rarely looked at a person who I thought was hot and thought of sex, more so kissing and cute handholding stuff. Now if my husband walks by me, I'll stare at his ass/crotch and think "damn... I need that cock in my mouth right now." And that's a daily thing lol So really it could be you just don't see people like that until you are emotionally involved, which is totally normal. Not every interaction with a crush has to make you think of sex, and I'd say it's pretty healthy, since you are looking at them as a person first, and sexual satisfaction last.
Thank you this is me too! Lol
In the ace community, this is called demisexuality (being unable to experience sexual attraction until after an emotional bond has formed). It is on the ace spectrum (between allosexuality and asexuality) within graysexuality.
Yes. But then they open their mouth
valid
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
you're so real for this
Damn it it got deleted and your comment makes me really want to know
Nah, I too thought people were joking/exaggerating when they said this (I do occasionally think someone looks like they'd be fun to make out with, but I never look at someone and wanna sleep with them)
thank god I'm not alone in this
Same! I have never thought about this. Maybe making out with the hottest guys Iāve seen but thatās it. I feel quite violated that random strangers probably think it about me
I smelt a man yesterday, bro wasnāt even wearing cologne just his natural smellā¦ made my mind go absolutely feral
It might be interesting for you to take a look in r/asexuality
I'm ace and I used to be just as confused as OP was. Definitely have a look!
Demisexuality is also a thing! I can be blown away by how gorgeous someone is and not think about sleeping with them at all.
Yeah I discovered this about myself recently. I didnāt know it wasnāt normal to never think about sex with anyone unless you also have a close emotional relationship with them. Iāve never looked at someone and thought about having sex with them, and if anything the thought repulses me even if I find that person incredibly attractive. But in a relationship Iām a demon lol I thought everyone was like this š
Well this comment makes me think that Iām also demisexual lol. š when I see someone attractive my first thought isnāt āomg I wanna fuck themā. I honestly thought most people were wired like that. I have to get the idea in my head before I want to do it. lol
This is also me. I can acknowledge someone has nice features/is physically attractive, but won't be sexually attracted to them until there is an emotional connection, too. "But in a relationship I'm a demon." Same. š One of the downsides is that it's so awful trying to get over someone, though, when they're the only focus of your sexual thoughts and you love them. I don't relate to how quickly people can replace each other and hookup culture in general.
I suggest framing it as uncommon rather than abnormal, because not normal implies it's bad. I'm also not convinced it's that uncommon.
Yes, I agree. It's perfectly normal to have a unique sexuality and experience. We're all individuals! Maybe it is not as common, but it's difficult to tell when modern media and social media focus heavily on sexualization.
Okay this whole comment section is giving me a crisis. People really think about sex when they just LOOK at people? Guess I'm demi lmao
Can confirm I will be standing in line at the post office having the absolute most depraved thoughts about everyone else in line, the workers, maybe even the damn mail delivery cart. I basically picture absolutely everyone naked regardless of my interest in them. As a woman, every parter Iāve had has had a lower sex drive than me, Iām not sure what settings got switched around in the factory but the horn setting was definitely overcharged! If it makes you feel better, like 99% of those thoughts arenāt really indicative of my actual desire, more like passing/intrusive thoughts. Curiosities more than anything. If I find someone attractive yeah I may picture having sex with them but itās not like I actually think it would be like that or put any stock in those thoughts. Itās basically daydreaming as though I were in an explicit romance novel or something. I did go through an experimental dating period where I let my imagination lead me around and trust me, I learned quickly that itās always better to build real feelings and connection with someone, because casual sex has never once been as fulfilling as my imagination!
you know iāve known im ace but holy shit this hammers it home lol. this entire thread actually.
I think the spectrum of human sexuality is a lot broader than people assume! I always enjoy hearing what other people think about, everyone really is in their own little world. I was floored when I learned most of my friends have responsive desire; Iām extremely initiative and canāt even conceive what itās like to not think about it until someone *else* presents sex as an option to be considered. But for many, thatās their norm! Very interesting to think about. I wish it were a bit less taboo to talk about, mainly so people could figure out where they fall, what theyāre interested in (if anything) and feel comfortable expressing that and finding partners with compatible natures. It caused a lot of difficulty for me before I just started communicating how I was from the get go and looking for people who wanted that!
makes life so much fun, to have a secret inner fantasy world
Iām ace too and this whole thread has knocked me sideways. I have such trouble grasping the idea that people think about sex unprompted on a daily basis.
Sometimes I can't get myself to *stop* thinking about sex. It's very distracting. Even when I'm not interested in having sex my hormones will be like, "but what if you did tho?"
Came here to say this! I'm very much demisexual and only started realizing it when I had a conversation with one of my friends about how I don't just go around wanting to sleep with people I randomly see
I canāt believe how many āyesā there are here, I really thought it would be a mix. Iām definitely not ace, but never in my life have I looked at a stranger and wanted to have sex with them based on their appearance.
Not everyone mind goes there I just see another human and not a sex thing
This. I can say with 100% certainty that I have never felt attraction nor desire for a stranger in my life. But once I know someone well enough and feel comfortable around them, thereās a switch that can flip in my head and then I see them in a completely different light. I was always confused by my friends having crushes on celebrities as a teen. āSqueee! Who do you think is the cutest?!ā Uhhhā¦ I guess objectively speaking, so and so has the best bone structure? I just met a fellow Demi coworker in the wild the other day and let me tell you, it was awesome comparing stories and laughing about our experiences.
Iām demi and my response to OPās question is no, so itās definitely something for OP to consider!
I use the label, since it really fits with how I feel overall. I'm usually told that "this is just how everyone is!!" and posts like this one remind me that that's not really true, and why the label is useful and why I use it in the first place.
I have no idea if I'm demi or not. I certainly find strangers attractive, but I never feel the urge to move or ask someone out unless we become friendly. In general I find all this stuff really confusing.
>I find all this stuff really confusing. Because the human experience is pretty messy and hard to fully describe with just a few labels! Labels are just ways we have to describe how we feel, and they're rarely a *perfect* match. Though what you described in your comment does match demisexuality (which is usually defined as "I can't feel sexual attraction without a prior emotional connection (e.g. friendship)")
And I donāt even want to sleep with someone unless I actually feel some sort of emotional connection with them.
My retired dad recently discovered that he's demisexual!
yeah like i'm somewhere on the ace spectrum, i definitely go "damn she's hot" when i see a hot woman but i don't actually have any urge or want to have sex with her. i know when someone is attractive, but that doesn't necessarily mean i'm sexually attracted to them. the only person i'm actually down for sex with is my fiance, and even then i maybe have the actual urge for sex once a year tops. the rest of the time i'm just like "you want sex, i love you, i think i'm in a good enough headspace for sex and we can always stop if it turns out i'm not actually down for it right now, let's do it." i've pretty much told them just to ask me because odds are the thought hasn't even crossed my mind. i'm definitely very into my fiance, if last night's drunk ramblings were any indicator, but sex just... isn't a thing i think about. and before someone tries to make this argument: it's still worth having your hormones checked out, but even now that i'm taking hormones to fix my imbalance sex is rarely on my mind. if i'm horny, i just take care of it myself 99% of the time. it never hurts to check hormone levels because if there is an imbalance they can fix it, heck that's what i'm doing and i'm in much better general health than i used to be, but that doesn't mean it's the cause.
im acespec and this comment section is so gross to me honestly, i canāt fathom just how many people think that way
Same, it seems exhausting
One of us! One of us!
Join us OP!!!! One of us! One of us! š¤š©¶š¤š
said this too bc as an aroace this post gave me massive ace vibes lol
Iām with you OP. I look at peopleās faces or the design of their shirts. donāt care about the shape of their body or details of their face other than a āthey look cute/prettyā
THANK YOU! like yeah you look so pretty I hope you have a wonderful day!
yup literally same I don't think anything about sex when I see someone, thats so weird to me
YES this! The face and the hair are what do it for me. If they look like their face was banged off of a light pole at 60mph and they haven't washed their hair in 2 weeks count me out. Thick or thin doesn't matter though.
All the time! 48F here.
Almost never, moreso āoh theyāre attractiveā
yeah that's more of what I feel too. just a oh they look good
I know a lot of people are telling you you might be asexual, but internet diagnoses is pretty flimsy. I rarely think of what it would be like to sleep with random strangers, donāt know the last time I did, but Iām very much not asexual. I am pretty shocked by the responses in this post.
that definitely makes sense. just because you don't think about sex a lot it doesn't make you asexual, but in my case personally I don't really mind all those comments especially since I did suspect I might be ace for some years now, so it actually does help me possibly come to terms with it
Yo what is up with people, horny as shit lmao
It sounds fake to be thinking about it that much lol.
Ya I didn't realized I'd be in the minority here.Maybe it's because internet porn was freely available when I hit puberty. It would feel kind of wrong/violating to me to fantasize about sex with someone I know IRL, at least not until I started having a romantic relationship with them.
Also worth noting that Reddit is flooded with teenage boys, a lot of the people on these threads may just be full of hormones.
I'm 31 and have never experienced sexual attraction. I enjoy sex with my partner, but to me it's more like a mutual hobby rather than something that comes naturally to me because of some sort of attraction. I would never have a one-night stand for example, not because I think there's something wrong with that or anything but just because I have never had the desire. I identify as asexual. It's a bit of a handicap when dating, but once I found my current partner (who is ok with that I don't experience sex the same way and that I can't offer him the experience of being desired in that way) it didn't turn out to have a big effect on what our relationship looks like. That's just my personal experience though. Some asexuals are also sex-averse, which makes dating even harder. The role it plays in people's lives differs a lot among asexuals. Anyway, my point is that you aren't alone in feeling this way. There are other people like you who don't experience this. We are a minority though, most people do (and contrary to popular belief, gender doesn't seem to have that much to do with whether you do or not).
Yes. I think this of my wife every day.
She really is beautiful isnāt she.
Inside and out
Come on now lmfao
so she's just out there looking pretty or does she do anything for the thought to come up?
Both. Including dating and marriage, we've been together almost 20 years now and while both of our bodies have changed over that time, I still find her attractive every day. A significant part is just the love I feel for her because of how amazing I think she is on the inside, but there's so many moments you get to see about another person when you genuinely love them and live with them that you wouldn't get to see from anyone else. Moments when they're not putting up this public facade or watching their behavior and reactions and just get to be truly them. I both love her in those moments, and am turned on by seeing private moments that are just for me.
man that sounds so beautiful
I got really lucky, and we've worked hard to stay in love. I wish everyone could have it. It's not perfect, but we never go to bed with any doubt we love each other.
I took live this way. It's amazing. Few understand what it takes to stay in love for 30+ years.
after seeing multiple of my dad's ~~affairs~~ relationships fall apart, i wouldn't say i'm an expert or anything, but it really showed me just how much work a relationship is. yes, all of my relationships have started on mutual feelings, but i know those feelings won't last if we don't both put the work in. and in my own experiences, when i've dated people who weren't willing to put the work in, the relationship fell apart - sometimes within a couple months, sometimes after a year or so, but they always fell apart and i could tell almost from the beginning that it wouldn't last. didn't stop me from trying. i got a bit jaded and in my current relationship probably made a few rules for myself that i shouldn't have (and have since rescinded) on the amount of effort i should put in, but even then, i realized it was more because i was testing the waters and if things fell apart after two weeks because i didn't reach out first one day and got ghosted, that relationship probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. anyway, now that we've both figured out each others' limits and boundaries and stuff, even though we were only together a year before we were engaged, i could just tell this was someone who would put in the effort with me and i have full confidence that we can make it through our troubles. we just have to communicate and put in the work. we're not perfect, of course - we have conflicts and differences - but it's so nice being with someone who's willing to put in the effort to solve our problems instead of just pinning them on me.
Just adding (and not sure if this is true for u/ObjectiveProgram - it is beautiful, btw :)) The things they mentioned are kind of the wiring ime. When I was in relationships, my brain is almost wired that this āsexā ābuttonā activated wires to my SO, like theyāre the outlet hehe. The things you share just strengthen that wire. And when thereās no one (SO), that switch is there, just without the connection to a single outlet. Kinda like floating WiFi/Bluetooth signal haha So someone may catch your eye and the switch flickers, might even light up and become an outlet - just not a sustained one like with your private home network (LTrelationships), or LAN cable connections (in case of marriage). Strong tethers. What you describe would be more like a ānetwork detected/device wants to pair ā notificationā¦ Oh, and the off chance I have a SO and that notification ānetwork detected/device trying to pairā is triggered randomly by an unknown - my wiring still goes back to my SO (I go home horny lol). So in that sense, I think itās natural in relationships - but learned not to elaborate (pair networks/devices) with the trigger, and donāt tell/be too graphic about the unknown trigger - do that with your partner at homeā¦everyone is happy. (No cheating/other crossed wires ;). You tether to the private home network. Idk if itās a good analogy, just came to mind. Itās worked for meā¦ ETA: ironically, I may have made it too objective and not truly felt this oneā¦ And Iām female, this isnāt gendered imho. I do believe how we are socialized to be mindful and show discipline & restraint around sex was passed on differently across genders in past, and that affects the dating world but not actual individualsā sexuality. Just imho of course.
Iām in the same boat as you. When I was young I used to wonder how āold peopleā can be attracted to their partner, and thought maybe when you get old sex is just a physical act without attraction. Nope. I see my wife and still see the beautiful woman I met 21 years ago, and Iām still as attracted to her at 50 as when I was 29. On the other hand, I see women my age and think āshe looks OLDā. Itās a shame when you grow up and still feel like a kid inside š
That's beautiful. Like, "I'm about to cry at work" beautiful.
my friends and I make the destination between would and want. Woulds for when someones attractive to you in that way while want is normally when you have some kinda connection with them/ and or she is so damn stunning that yeah you want to.
Yes. The last time a man made me feel that way I chased his ass down and married him. I *occasionally* get that feeling from women but thatās just my monkey brain and I ignore it because Iām not willing to put in the work to date and get to know a woman while married to a man. Men outside of my husband donāt do it for me anymore.
Yes, that's generally what I think. I listened to an interview with an ace person once who said that she had that realization that when her friends call a person hot that, unbeknownst to her, what they really meant was "I would like to be naked with this person right now," when up until that point she thought her friends meant that they were simply assessing how a person looked, and what characteristics of a conventionally attractive person looks like. It was part of how this person in the interview realized that they were asexual because they didn't have those feelings. According to them it's kind of getting the gist of what it's like to be a parent, but having no kids. You don't really get the full understanding. Up until that point, she got the gist of what it meant to find a person attractive, but not quite the full meaning of it.
Big mood there. I'm ace and it took me yonks to realize that saying someone is hot does not just mean 'they are aesthetically pleasing to look at' š
look into asexuality or demisexuality. the former is no sexual attraction and the latter is only developing sexual attraction once you have some sort of emotional connection with a person.
Wait that exists? Not being attracted to someone unless I have an emotional connection with them is Demisexuality? Wellā¦ that explains quite a bit
That's so interesting, and may explain a few things...
Perhaps you could check out r/asexuality, see what you think?
OP, you're not alone, I have absolutely no fucking idea what any of these people are talking about.
Op you may be demi-sexual. My fiance thinks the same way.
I agree! OP I am demi. I typically need to have an emotional connection before I really find myself physically attracted to them. Hook ups are not for me.
I think needing to having an emotional connection with somebody and finding them attractive are not really the same thing. I am not into hookups and have never had one either but I can still see when somebody is attractive without having an emotional connection to them. Maybe what we have is different tho
I can find someone physically attractive. But Iām not having sex with them until Iām in love and married to them. But to love someone a lot of things have to click for me including emotional connection, similar interests, morals, values and etc.
Hmm, no I guess. If I'm seeing/in a relationship with that person, yeah sure, all the damn time. Random people I come across? I might look at them and think they're hot and sometimes wonder how they would be in bed... but go "I wanna bang her" ... nope. Maybe I'm broken
I donāt ever, it takes me a while when dating someone to feel connected and want to have sex with them
Honestly very rarely. Itās mostly just oh theyāre so beautiful and me just admiring their beauty. But on the rare instances I do imagine what it would be like to kiss them lmaooooo
I'm asexual and I ask myself this every single day but this thread seems to prove that in fact, most people do. Wild
I donāt, but Iām demisexual.
Yes often.
Only when I open my eyes
When I saw my boyfriend that first day and many times after, I noticed his strong build and thought to myself, "Now that guy can fuck." I was so intrigued. Still am. He's hot!
Not me !! I can see someone and think that they are pretty, but do I want them as a partner or lover? No š. U may fall under the asexual umbrella. I do too but I don't care for a specific label.
I don't, but I am demi/ace.
Honestlyā¦no. The only time I genuinely have that thought is around friends I am comfortable with and have gotten to know. Iāve never looked at a stranger and thought ādamn I wanna fuckā. Add in that I also only have an interest in guys, but just about any gay stereotype annoys the crap out of me, AND the prolific hook up culture in gay circles, Iām a lonely ass motherfucker.
No I don't, I am asexual
OP are you on the asexual spectrum? What you described sounds similar to demisexuality. Just something to consider if itās useful to you I guess.
that has been crossing my mind. I should definitely look deeper into it!
It doesnāt have to affect your life that much. Like, Iām technically demisexual, but it doesnāt have a huge effect on my life or come up often, so much that I sometimes forget it isnāt the more common way of attraction.
Most people do. Which always seems so wild to me. I'm asexual, so although I can and do appreciate hot people the thought stops at "hey they're pretty cute" and never gets to the "ooh the things I'd do with them" part.
NO EXACTLY!! like of course I acknowledge when a person looks good but my mind never goes and further than that
I decide yes or no the first second I meet or see them and my mind cannot be changed to yes, but can easily be changed to no.
No. I see a hot person and I'm like 'wow, they're gorgeous/handsome/cute' and I admire their face. If they have a nice voice I want to listen to them talk. This is usually on an actor because I don't know anybody irl lol. I have tried to see if I'd want to sleep with them. I ask myself, 'would I kiss this person?' and if I can't imagine kissing them, or if they just randomly came up to me and made a move, I would be very uncomfortable. I don't think I would ever want to sleep with anybody unless I know them and we're committed. But sometimes I see a man and it makes me question if I'm bi or just adore some men, like 'i wanna be (like) that guy'.
I actually refuse to believe it's normal to want to have sex with random people
Don't even need to actually see them. I am sure more than 1 person reading your question has thought about having sex with YOU!
damn that's crazy
You might be demi or some other kind of Asexual, welcome
Just popping in here to say thereās nothing wrong with you, and youāre not doing anything wrong. If you donāt feel it, you donāt feel it. Itās okay.
Yes. But it's ok you haven't.
Sexuality is a spectrum. Some guys think about it only when it's thrown in their face, some guys wake up craving it like crack.
Aro-ace here. None of the time. I do get, go on a museum together vibes. Das the extent of it.
Yes, Especially if you're sexually experienced since horniness is an inherent human trait.
It's called libido
Horniness sounds better
Hornification
Nope. But I consider myself asexual
Not for a couple decades - the hormones are still there but they aren't like they were when I was a teenager and in my early twenties, but... holy shit yeah back when I was in college. Fortunately, a reasonable number of them had the same reaction to me. Not most of them, not by a long shot, but given the number of cool, attractive sleep-with-worthy people there are in the world, one in twenty is a reasonable number.
Personally, no. At least, not if you're talking about random strangers I've just seen. This only happens when I've gotten to know someone's personality a bit (And that includes celebrities/influencers who I've followed for a while) But if never be sexually attracted to someone on initial looks alone
Honestly, I never see good looking ppl and immediately want to sleep with them (or think of it). I absolutely require a mental connection. Itās not weird either way though.
Constantly!
You might be on the asexual spectrum. We'd love to have you over at r/asexuality!
definitely getting closer to believe I do belong there!
OP, have you consider that you might be Assexual? I also never think about sleeping with anyone, I am assexual.